9 Total Updates since December 3, 2012
5 months ago Update 27 comments
CINCINNATI - The Fake Reds are delighted to announce that they have purchased the contract of catcher Christopher Gamblee-Wallendjack from the Fake Long Island Ducks of the Fake Atlantic League. The contract is a one-day deal with an invite to spring training. Christopher hit .144/.380/.235 in limited action last season, but scouts love his upside.
"We love his upside", said one Reds scout.
The Fake Reds plan to move him to center field, where he will battle Drew Stubbs, Shin-Soo Choo, and Xavier Paul for fake playing time. There's no telling how that will shake out, but Fake Dusty Baker's reaction suggests that he may favor his new signing.
"He gets on base, right? I really like a cat who can take a pitch or two. I'm fake, this is all fake.", said Dusty Faker.
Fake Reds GM CharlestonWordsWithFriends weighed in with his take on his new short-term player.
"Wait a minute. I thought you said this was for Make-A-Wish? Please give back the per diem at the end of the day."
The most excited player about this deal seems to be Joey Votto, who nicknamed Christopher "The Vole" while in federal prison. They have never met.
"Who the hell is The Vole?", quipped Joey at an awestruck reporter.
He will wear #14, last worn by infielder Pete Rose Jr. Rose Jr. was unavailable for comment.
5 months ago Article 25 comments
Red Reporter's Reds pretty much wrap up their Winter Meetings by shoring up the pitching staff and spending all of the money.
5 months ago Article 24 comments
The Fake SBNation Winter Meetings Simulation Contest and Sweepstakes just went and got UNREAL.
6 months ago Article 20 comments
No fake news to report today.
6 months ago Article 104 comments
At the SBN Bizzarro Land Winter Meetings, Red Reporter's Reds re-sign Ryan Madson to a one-year deal worth $4 million.
6 months ago Article 32 comments
Red Reporter's Reds accomplished the team's top priority, getting Alejandro De Aza from the White Sox for Tony Cingrani.
6 months ago Article 41 comments
Day two of the fake Winter Meetings dawns with a fake new-look Reds team. A pair of big fake trades went down yesterday, changing the fake lineup dramatically. Let's take a look at what didn't actually in reality happen.
6 months ago Article 177 comments
6 months ago Article 91 comments
andromache is totally gonna douggie to some K-pop this afternoon.