Hi, hello, and sit down and shut up, it's your old friend Fred Regorter back with more holiday ideas for all of you loyal readers out there in Reds country. I took a month-long vacation after the season ended, spending some quality time out in the old lathe shop. I finished up my new dinette set just in time for Thanksgiving. Mrs. Regorter is relieved, as we now have enough seats at the table to accommodate all of her bridge friends while the family huddles around the television set. Ahh, the holidays.
Lots of news swirling around the Reds these days, so let's get to it. Todd Frazier is going to be the third baseman next season and I couldn't be happier for him. That's a real blue-collar old-school baseball player who plays the game the right way, I tell you what. I really think he's going to be a franchise cornerstone for years to come, and it's about time the team gave him a chance to shine. Don't get me wrong - I'm a big fan of Scott Rollins. But his time is up. He may be the expensive veteran, but it's about time the Reds sat him on the bench in favor of the fiery spark plug named Todd. That boy just wins.
It seems the Reds are thinking about moving Aroldis Chapman to the starting rotation. BIG MISTAKE. The Cuban Missle is such an amazing weapon - as a closer. I'm afraid moving him to the rotation will turn him into the Cuban Mariachi. I'm going to tell the Reds the same thing I tell Mrs. Regorter every time she gets on me to paint the garage - If it is not broken, why do it?
The most important thing the Reds need to do this winter is take a long, hard look in the mirror and realize one, basic truth: The Matt Latos trade did not work. When the Reds traded half their team to the San Francisco Giants last winter to get a young ace full of potential, what they really got was a middle-rotation starter with a bad habit of folding like a shrinking violet on the big stage. I'm assuming I don't need to remind you of Game 5. Also, he only won 14 games this season. That's good, but again, that's not what aces do. The Reds thought they were getting a second Johnny Cueto, but what they really got was a second Homer Bailey.
Fortunately, the Florida Marlins are selling all of their good players to the highest bidder. The Reds need a clean-up hitter, and Mike Stanton would fit in perfectly. He hit 37 home runs for the hapless Marlins last year, and he's only 23. Why not swap Latos for Stanton? The Marlins are desperate, and would do anything to clear money off the books. As an added bonus, Stanton is cheap so the Reds would save some money. Two birds, one trade. Make the call, Walt!
And now we'll open up the old Fred Bag and answer a few of your emails. I hate this part.
"Hey Fred, long time reader, first time emailer. Hey Fred, whats the deal with Homer Bailey? He seems to finally be coming into his own. He's only 26, which I find hard to believe. It seems like he's been around forever. Should the Reds sign him to an extension?"
- Bill from Cincy
Hey Bill, thanks for emailing. Unfortunately, you are an idiot. Homer is the ultimate example of "shoulda traded him when you had the chance". Homer was the top pitching prospect in baseball a long, long time ago. He's since failed to live up to all expectations. The Reds should trade him before he gets worse. He's a good cautionary tail for Matt Latos, too. Trade 'em both, I say.
"Fred, thanks for doing these Fred Bags. I'm a long time reader and a first time emailer. My question has to do in regards to the way you think the Reds should handle Billy Hamilton. I think its a good idea to move him to CF. What do you think?
- Chief Benny, New Martinsville
Chief (if that's even your real name), you are an idiot. The Reds are idiots too for messing with the best prospect in baseball. They need to keep him forever, as he's got sure-fire Hall of Fame talent. But moving him to center field is a bad idea. He's never played there in his life, so they better hope he picks up on it quickly. Drew Stubbs certainly ain't going to be the lead-off hitter the team needs, so they need Hamilton to race to the big leagues right quick. I just hope this doesn't trip him up.
Hi Fred, what's your favorite Thanksgiving side dish? Got any good recipes?
- Karen Covington
My favorite Thanksgiving side dish has always been my grandma's secret recipe for homemade noodles. Sometimes, after she had rolled them out on the counter but before she cooked them, I would sneak a few of the tender, delicious strips of raw noodles and munch them down. But if you think I'm telling you the recipe, you are an idiot.
I'm just sayin'.