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Is Roy Oswalt possible?

Don't be afraid to put on a glove and then "glove bump" the Reds' unlikely future #3 starter.

My best estimate has the Reds almost $2M in payroll above where they were last season. A $5M increase over 2011 gives the Reds about $3M left to work with. Based on how much of Ryan Madson's contract counts toward the 2012 budget, they could have several million more. It's still probably not enough to sign Roy Oswalt without clearing out a little salary by trade.

Despite Walt Jocketty declaring that the team is "pretty tapped out" in terms of payroll, Oswalt's people have talked to the Reds on some level (according to John Fay). It's a move I suspect "Win Now Walt" would like to make. All of the eggs for improving the rotation are currently in the Latos basket and the starting pitching depth, especially if you include departures by Maloney and Thompson, has shrunk to essentially Aroldis Chapman. Can we call him a starter yet?

Financials would not be the only complication if the team were seriously pursuing Roy Oswalt (and the team probably isn't, but that's what I thought about Chapman, Latos and Madson, et al.) There's no spot for him currently in the rotation. Mike Leake has options, but his performance last season makes him a lock. Trading Arroyo is nearly impossible, given his contract and status on the team. Homer Bailey, meanwhile, could be converted to set-up reliever or traded to clear salary/space in the rotation. Since a Homer Bailey trade would be unlikely to upgrade left field in a major way this season, the move would be essentially asking: Is Roy Oswalt that much better than Homer Bailey?

The answer would be obvious ("yeah, idiot") if not for the question of Oswalt's health and age. He was poison for the Reds over much of the last decade as an Astro, so it would be poetically satisfying to see his "redemption" in Red. But he pitched only 139 innings last season, the lowest total of his 11-year major league career. He battled a back injury last season and made some remarks which sparked retirement talk, finishing the season with his second-lowest ERA+ ever.

Star-divide

Oswalt would be a significant boost to the Reds, given the right circumstances. Those circumstances would include clean bill of health, some kind of financial windfall for the Reds and a way to make the acquisition add to pitching depth - rather than a one-to-one replacement. That last one could mean parking Homer Bailey in the bullpen, which prompts its own series of questions.

I don't think Oswalt is in the cards. But the fact that he could be on the Cards may have Walt reaching for his budget wand.

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Nope nope nope

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 12:54 PM EST reply actions  

Knope Knope Knope

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Jan 24, 2012 1:11 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Hope?

Mgr., Red Reporter

"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."

by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Jan 24, 2012 1:03 PM EST reply actions  

Really, the only way to start this conversation is by trading Bailey.

And then to continue the conversation you have to put Chapman in Louisville, right?

And thennnn you have to come up with the millions of necessary dollars.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 1:04 PM EST reply actions  

I think Chapman is in Lousiville anyway

Right now the rotation is:
Latos, Cueto, Leake, Arroyo, Bailey

Bullpen is:
Madson, Marshall, Masset, Ondrusek, Arredondo, LeCure, Bray.

12 guys for 12 spots.

I also don’t think in the even the Reds sign Oswalt, trading Bailey is necessary. The Reds could option LeCure or Ondrusek to Louisville and make Bailey the long man until a spot opens up, and I am guessing he would have at least on start before June 1.

March of 2011 LeCure was working his way towards to Louisville rotation and Leake was blocked out of the rotation, and injuries pushed both of them into the MLB rotation to open the season.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 1:14 PM EST up reply actions  

This is exactly what I think will happen (barring injuries)

with Ondrusek being the 12th man who is optioned.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 1:20 PM EST up reply actions  

nycredsfan left RR to avoide me picking his avatar for the first half of the season

What a cock sandwich.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 1:56 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

i want to make a JCH joke here

but I worry it will go too far.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:01 PM EST up reply actions  

I think another route

would be something like trading Nick Masset, who’s getting $2.5M, and clearing a million or two from 2012 with the BP extension. Then you put Bailey in the bullpen in Masset’s spot (which, I realize, would piss him off and could be possibly be a total failure because of that and the supposedly long warm-ups).

Mgr., Red Reporter

"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."

by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Jan 24, 2012 1:14 PM EST up reply actions  

Why does Bailey have to be a set up man in the bullpen?

Chances are the Reds (like most teams) will need more than 5 starters before June.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 1:15 PM EST up reply actions  

He doesn't have to be

But in this entirely imaginary universe, the Reds still have a five-man rotation, as they do for most of the season. Oswalt is in and Bailey is in the bullpen, because he’s out of options.

It makes sense for Bailey to be a spot starter, sure, so Bailey could be the long man and stay stretched out until Chapman is in ready. But if you’re sticking him in the bullpen and you only have Madson for one year, it would make sense for him to pitch in higher-leverage, closer-like situations for 2013. And he could probably do that while spot-starting during the first part of the season.

Mgr., Red Reporter

"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."

by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Jan 24, 2012 1:25 PM EST up reply actions  

Give Bailey whatever role works best if he is in the bullpen

he will still probably see about 20 MLB starts even IF he is sent to the bullpen to make room for Oswalt.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 1:56 PM EST up reply actions  

1 year $8 million?

In a heartbeat. If he is asking a lot more than that, then no.

Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun

@btcoop71

by btcoop71 on Jan 24, 2012 1:08 PM EST reply actions  

up and down here

everybody thinks about oswalt’s dominance of a few years past, especially against the reds. but he’s been aching, he’s been less than superb. like to have him here, but don’t want to see the reds in budget trouble if he doesn’t really make a difference and they need to go out and get somebody later.

by alcory11 on Jan 24, 2012 1:24 PM EST up reply actions  

If he were heathy I'd say go for it.

The questionable back is the only reason we can have this discussion right now though. Even if we had the scratch and Oswalt were willing to come here I just think it’s too big of a risk. At this point I’d rather hang onto a little payroll flexibility with an eye towards something we might need at the trade deadline.

When they start the game, they don't yell, "Work ball." They say, "Play ball." ~Willie Stargell, 1981

by high heat on Jan 24, 2012 1:11 PM EST via mobile reply actions  

Wait, how old are you?

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 1:59 PM EST up reply actions  

24.

I’m just really boring.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 2:33 PM EST up reply actions  

addendum:

has it not occured to you that I let this team take up way too much of my life?

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 2:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Garry Gaetti said bullshit when he walked by me when I was a Reds Honary bat boy.

Great story.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Johnny Bench wouldn't give me his autograph

and just acted like I wasn’t talking to him, when I was honorary batboy. Joe Morgan was racist. Pete Rose and Tony Perez were cool.

"At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day." Dusty Baker

by featherman on Jan 24, 2012 5:26 PM EST up reply actions  

I had a couple of beers with him once.

And it seemed that he and our mutual friend had actively sought out the one bar where you might most likely be welcomed while wearing January flip-flops.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 5:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Mercker seems like a cool guy.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 5:35 PM EST up reply actions  

He's been very cool to me (just a friend of a friend) a couple of times. (Tickets, beers, etc.)

Even after I kinda jokingly told him that he’ll be an answer to a future generation’s Braves fans’ name-the-starter-you-can’t-remember trivia question.

Good dude. Even though I do think he’s all super-idealoguey Republican and guns-rightsy.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 5:41 PM EST up reply actions  

I ended up playing poker at his house one night after a round with some folks at Muirfield Village

my buddy used to bartend in the clubhouse, so he got us the game invite, I just didn’t know who’s house it was until I walked in and almost said aloud “holy shit, you’re Kent Mercker”

I definitely lost $200 that night, but it made up for it in everything I drank

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Jan 29, 2012 5:24 PM EST up reply actions  

we were honorary bat boys in very different eras.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 5:29 PM EST up reply actions  

Joe Morgan was racist?

In what way?

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Jan 24, 2012 5:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Hold on

For all the shit the Joe Morgan gets, I’ve never seem him accused of racism. I just want to hear Featherman’s account of it

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Jan 24, 2012 5:42 PM EST up reply actions  

I wasn't trying to be rational.

I say stupid shit, then I point out double standards even if they aren’t there. It’s sort of what I do.

Cincy Jungle: Where the Rocky Mountains are in the Pacific Ocean

by sexsalad on Jan 24, 2012 5:46 PM EST up reply actions  

it's charming

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Jan 24, 2012 7:09 PM EST up reply actions  

Joe Morgan is definitely racist

just listen to him call a ballgame.. he loves him some non-white players

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Jan 29, 2012 5:24 PM EST up reply actions  

He walked around naked in the locker room.

If that’s not highlighting the inequality of the races, I don’t know what is.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 5:39 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

So it's not that Joe Morgan WAS racist...

…it’s that he IS racist still.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 6:24 PM EST up reply actions  

Would not let me approach him

eventhough I wore his jersey and tried to explain he was my favorite player. He waived me off I thought I overheard him say something about “little white boy”. I was only 12 so maybe he wasn’t racist but he certainly was a dick.

"At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day." Dusty Baker

by featherman on Jan 25, 2012 8:18 AM EST up reply actions  

When my daughter (#2) was honorary batgirl aabout 18 years ago

None of the big stars wanted to talk to her that day plus she was shy and nervous…but Billy Hatcher came to the rescue! Even though he was the starting CF that day he took a lot of time with her and made some of the other guys come and give her attention. He had his picture taken with her and was absolutely a tremendous ambassador for the Reds. He was her hero that day and still i to this day!
.

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.

by Madville on Jan 24, 2012 8:10 PM EST up reply actions  

None of the stars were even around to talk to me.

I think I have Lenny Harris’s, Pokey Reese’s and a couple of relief pitchers autographs.

Like I still thought it was really cool, and disappointed is not the right word to use, but I thought I would see more players.

But still I got to go into the clubhouse, walk around on the field, and got to sit in nice seats with my parents and best friend at the time, so I was not upset with the experience at all.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 8:17 PM EST up reply actions  

another of the long list of great things about larkin

i did the honorary batgirl thing in 1992. not only did larkin sign my ball AND a picture, but he talked to me and asked me about school and that sort of thing.

by Daedalus on Jan 26, 2012 3:57 PM EST up reply actions  

Hey, as long as we're daydreaming about another big free agent signing...

When’s the next Burger Tour stop? We could land one helluva pinch-hitter.

ORLANDO, FL—After recently visiting the Texas Rangers to discuss the possibility of signing a long-term contract, All-Star first baseman Prince Fielder told reporters Monday he’s beginning to notice how many complimentary meals he’s getting from interested teams. “In Chicago, they took me to a steakhouse, it was top-flight seafood in D.C., and in Dallas, we went out for barbecue and they even comped my breakfast buffet at the hotel the next morning,” said Fielder, adding that he has been craving Mexican lately and might entertain an offer from the Dodgers if it means scoring free tacos. “At this rate, I’m almost positive I’m going to sign a one-year deal so I can do this again next winter.” Upon hearing the news, pitcher CC Sabathia reportedly put in a call to his agent to inquire about getting out of his current contract with the Yankees.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 1:14 PM EST reply actions  

Aaaaand there's more...

Prince Fielder Explains Complexities Of Salary Arbitration Using Cheeseburgers

MILWAUKEE—In an effort to clarify complicated financial negotiation procedures, Brewers first baseman Prince Fielder enthusiastically explained the intricacies of salary arbitration to reporters Wednesday by representing important elements of the process with dozens and dozens of cheeseburgers.

Fielder, who began the demonstration by carefully organizing 20 cheeseburgers into a neat pile on the table, attempted to simplify the subject by selecting four cheeseburgers to symbolize the player, team, salary dispute, and neutral arbitrator.

The two-time All-Star then quickly unwrapped and consumed all four cheeseburgers.

“So this cheeseburger is the player, this one is the ball club, and either can submit a dispute over a salary if the player has at least three but no more than six cheeseburger years of service. For our purposes today, we’ll say six cheeseburgers,” Fielder said while holding up a cheeseburger in each hand, gesturing toward two cheeseburger stacks, and eating three more cheeseburgers

.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 1:17 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Isn't he a vegetarian?

Born Small... Now Huge... Winning... Bring it..!

by BomerHailey on Jan 24, 2012 1:50 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah

And 20 cheeseburgers is hardly “dozens and dozens”. It’s not even dozens.

by poojols on Jan 24, 2012 1:56 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

He made a neat pile of 20 from the larger table-covering pile of 'dozens and dozens'.

Have you no imagination?

Aren’t you hungry?

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 2:39 PM EST up reply actions  

'Prince Fielder is a vegetarian' sounds to very much like internet apocrypha..

..that I may not believe it entirely even if you were show me where Prince Fielder says that he really really really is a vegetarian.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 2:38 PM EST up reply actions  

I think I have heard broadcasters say that

and I think I may have read it in an ESPN article.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:40 PM EST up reply actions  

I think Prince Fielder is a funny guy.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 2:41 PM EST up reply actions  

I think yore a funny guy

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:44 PM EST up reply actions  

OK then

Here is one article from CBS Sports in 2008 Directly quotes Fielder

And here is one from MLB.com

Unless he has changed his mind since 2008, I think its true.

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 2:42 PM EST up reply actions  

And by searching an extra 30 seconds, I discover

He has apparently recanted his veggie ways as of 2011

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 2:45 PM EST up reply actions  

I haven't yet clicked and read those stories.

But again, I’m going to just assume that he got tired of living the little lie that he and Adam Dunn dreamed up during a rain delay a few years ago.

And that he wanted to go to Wendy’s without having to wear his Darryl Philbin disguise.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 2:53 PM EST up reply actions  

The long and the short of it is, he was convinced by a book he read

A 24-year old with a weight problem and (by all accounts) a sincere concern for the environment decided it would be better for the planet and his waistline if he avoided eating meat.

Really not that surprising that he would try it, and given his lifestyle (constantly on the road, in a job that requires lots of muscle mass) not that surprising he eventually gave up on it.

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 2:57 PM EST up reply actions  

If I ever got a big contract, the first thing I would do is hire a chef.

I’m not the vegetarian people think I am, but a good diet can really help healthiness a hell of a lot (says the sniveling sick kid in a sweatshirt that doesn’t fit).

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:33 PM EST up reply actions  

That's the one luxury I REALLY want in life

you can keep all that other stuff

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:34 PM EST up reply actions  

I'd hire a really-good-food-buyer

but I’d do the cooking. That part I love.

I just don’t know how the hell good chefs find all the cool stuff they use.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 3:35 PM EST up reply actions  

I mean, she/he'd be a really cool person who would let me hang out in the kitchen and teach me some tricks.

But yeah, I get really excited whenever I’m at my sister’s place and she cooks these complex meals. And then I run out to the store here and am like “the fuck else am I gonna do with split peas and kale?”

Oh, and in re “where to find good stuff” the answer is not Sprouts. But Sprouts is damn cheap.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:38 PM EST up reply actions  

You forgot the jumper cables

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:45 PM EST up reply actions  

it's not hard, you just have to know where to look

and, make friends with chefs.. they’ll tell you all their cool places to shop

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Jan 29, 2012 5:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Tonight, in Covington

Be there or be hungry.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 2:00 PM EST up reply actions  

Where in Covington and what time?

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 2:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Sidebar, 7:30

Did you need anything urgent last night? I tried calling you back.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 2:03 PM EST up reply actions  

No, pretty sure that was just a butt-dial mistake on my part.

I had my phone unlocked in my pocket yesterday, it must have dialed you by mistake. When I got out of the car, the screen was a mess of odd characters. Sorry bout that.

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 2:07 PM EST up reply actions  

I'll try to dial your phone more carefully next time it's in your pocket.

I’m still getting my technique down.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 3:19 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

While Mike Leake has certainly earned a spot in the rotation

I would not hesitate to let him simmer in AAA if it meant opening a spot for Oswalt. Messing with Bailey and the ‘pen is probably not constructive, and moreover it would eat into that rotation depth we’re trying to build by signing Oswalt.

I’m sure Walt can get creative and make it happen. Tell RoyO we’ll give him a new backhoe instead of money.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 1:22 PM EST reply actions  

I just think that gives you an inferior rotation to one with Leake in it

but it’s still better than one without Oswalt. And at least one of those six pitchers is probably going to be on the shelf for several weeks.

I do think they should try to add a better-than-quad-A pitcher without subtracting one if possible. Chapman’s future is uncertain and after him it’s Altilano/Gallagher/etc.

Mgr., Red Reporter

"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."

by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Jan 24, 2012 1:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Well, the optimal rotation would have

Latos, Cueto, Oswalt, Leake, and Bailey. But we all know that’s not happening.

You are right in that it would be better to have Leake than Bailey in a vacuum, but I think simply optioning Leake would be preferable to trying to stash Bailey in the ‘pen. Keeping Leake stretched out and ready to go in AAA as the 6th man would be easier to deal with than trying to keep Bailey stretched as a swingman/set-up guy. We’re going to need more than five starters anyway, and I think it would be easier to make Leake the 6th guy than Bailey.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 1:44 PM EST up reply actions  

Do you mean that we only have a 10% chance of keeping all 6-7 starters healthy through ST?

Cuz I think that number might be accurate. Maybe closer to 30%, but still a valid point.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 3:22 PM EST up reply actions  

More just getting Oswalt is a 10% chance.

But yeah, the injury thing too.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:24 PM EST up reply actions  

Leake to Louisville is retarded, regardless if we add another arm.

He was the second best pitcher on the staff and now he’s the third.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 1:52 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Yes. Yes, indeed.

Wear something sexy to my funeral.

by Pops Daniels on Jan 24, 2012 1:53 PM EST up reply actions  

I totally agree

I love Leake. But I think in this particular hypothetical situation, it would best serve the team if he were the odd man out.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 1:59 PM EST up reply actions  

Seriously?

If you hadn’t noticed, the atmosphere around here has been pretty testy lately. Don’t push it.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Are you kidding?

The atmosphere hasn’t been testy at all. I thought I would like it better this way, but I actually miss ’Creds.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 2:04 PM EST up reply actions  

I think there have been 2 more threads closed in 2012 than had been clossed in all of 2011.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:05 PM EST up reply actions  

People will get over it.

It is winter time, there is no baseball, and they are irritable.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 2:06 PM EST up reply actions  

ha! baseball season will make it worse

game threads from the first early season losing streak are the absolute worst.

the threads are getting 2,000+ comments & everyone is in a bad mood.

#tHansTheories

by 'tHan on Jan 24, 2012 2:08 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, but baseball is still baseball!!!!

Plus, things that happen in game threads are just cheeky shenanigans.

Not evil shenanigans.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 2:09 PM EST up reply actions  

x

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 2:10 PM EST up reply actions  

and racist.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:12 PM EST up reply actions  

MesoHanry?

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Jan 24, 2012 2:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Hanoraco?

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 2:34 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Nicely done

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 2:52 PM EST up reply actions  

only if they have 2 Live Crew as their collective at-bat music

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 2:51 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

I've seen this happen many times

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 2:25 PM EST up reply actions  

yeah, the sky is always falling on internet sports fan boards!

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:09 PM EST up reply actions  

Really?

I guess I missed those.

I haven’t seen anything even remotely malicious, and that includes jocular usage of words that are important to use in order to suck the hate out of them.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 2:07 PM EST up reply actions  

but there's no hate in the words "gay" or "retarded"

unless you use them in the context that you’re using them.

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 2:52 PM EST up reply actions  

Au contraire, mon oncle

Words migrate.

It’s quite possible that more people now use “gay” to mean dumb than homosexual, and the same with “retarded”. The more we use them in the new context, the sooner their inauspicious beginnings will be forgotten!

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 2:55 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

whatever, queer

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 2:56 PM EST up reply actions  

Wait, I'm confused

Are you suggesting more people should use the word “gay” in a derogatory way, in order to make it less derogatory?

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

Correct!

Because at some point that none of us will even notice, it will stop being in any way derogatory.

That’s the beautiful transience of language.

Words are only bad for a little while.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 3:01 PM EST up reply actions  

I hve a problem with the word retarded.

It’s a medical term used to describe someone born with atypical mental development. It most commonly is used to demean someone today. It’s pretty damaging to a young atypical child to hear other people routinely insulted by being referred to as being a retard when they themselves might medically be described the same way.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 3:31 PM EST up reply actions  

IMO, these kids have a tough enough time already.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 3:32 PM EST up reply actions  

word up, Petey H.

Retarded is a catchall to say “different and wrong” which can really fuck kids up.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Is there even one epithet where that is the case?

Go down the list. It is hard to think of any, except maybe punk.

by Cuetotally Amazing on Jan 24, 2012 3:34 PM EST up reply actions  

i think that sayings something or someone "sucks"

has lost a ton of shock value & meaning over the last 20 years.

also, douche & douchebag

by 'tHan on Jan 24, 2012 3:35 PM EST up reply actions  

I prefer cuntfag, myself

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Sucks is probably a good example,

though Slate isn’t sure that the dirty origin is the actual origin—but probably close enough.

Douche and douchebag I’ve never been able to figure out. They are clearly unflattering, but how controversial have they ever been? And are they without controversy now? There’s not an answer, I’ve just never quite figured out when they started.

by Cuetotally Amazing on Jan 24, 2012 3:46 PM EST up reply actions  

I think epithets differ from what words are allowed on TV.

And “douche” is just silly name-calling, not an epithet in my mind. “Pissed” and “pissed off” are now on TV, but I don’t remember them being used prior to 1982. But “pissed off” isn’t designed to demean or dehumanize anyone for being different and/or wrong, and I think that’s where the difference lies.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 3:56 PM EST up reply actions  

it is a good example

Once upon a time, you couldn’t use that word in print.

“Steinbrenner creates a partial vacuum with his mouth! Steinbrenner creates a partial vacuum with his mouth!” approximates the chant that engulfed Yankee Stadium.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Jan 24, 2012 5:00 PM EST up reply actions  

Does this fuck go with these shoes?

The season doesn't start until the Cincinnati Reds take the field! Reclaim The Opener!!

by TheC on Jan 24, 2012 3:49 PM EST up reply actions  

Depends.....how many beers have I had?

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:51 PM EST up reply actions  

Gosh, guys.

C.U.M. on already.

/Santorum’d

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 3:58 PM EST up reply actions  

Please tell me that's not real

The season doesn't start until the Cincinnati Reds take the field! Reclaim The Opener!!

by TheC on Jan 24, 2012 4:20 PM EST up reply actions  

I wish it was fake, but no...it is not.

And neither was his campaign rally this week when he didn’t correct the cheering crowd when they said that Obama is a Muslim who isn’t American. So much wow!

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 4:40 PM EST up reply actions  

But he's in third.

And he’s getting thirder every day.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 4:50 PM EST up reply actions  

I'd like to think so as well.

But frankly, I get lost in the morass of all of the dialogue. I’m not lazy, just disenchanted in a way that I thought I would never be. I’ve had it with all of them. Common sense seems lost.

Wear something sexy to my funeral.

by Pops Daniels on Jan 24, 2012 5:54 PM EST up reply actions  

No, I get all of that.

He has my vote. I’m just fucking tired.

Wear something sexy to my funeral.

by Pops Daniels on Jan 24, 2012 6:14 PM EST up reply actions  

and how can he not

if he narrowly loses the state you live in to Newt Gingrich.

Newt Gingrich scares me, and not in a Sarah Palin I kinda want to vote for her just to see what will happen, sorta way.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 6:16 PM EST up reply actions  

yeah.

I may still end up watching it, but I can’t imagine that I’ll feel any better about anything afterwards compared to beforehand.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 6:42 PM EST up reply actions  

i will buy into Obama again

when he appoints a chief of staff who did not work for a giant bank.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 6:10 PM EST up reply actions  

what is that grown up getting done, exactly?

aside from spendin’ money like whoa?

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Jan 29, 2012 5:36 PM EST up reply actions  

he also said he has only shared a couch with his wife...

he has so taken it in the ass.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 5:21 PM EST up reply actions  

I wasn't trying to stir up political chat, just making a CUM joke, really.

Being in an overwhelmingly blue state, I am not afraid to vote my conscience.

None of these men represent me well, and I’ll probably vote third party.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 6:27 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

I mean you are correct

the more you use a word, it desensitizes people and becomes common place..

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Jan 29, 2012 5:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Words people say don't bother me in the least.

But, I think we should bring back these derogatory words and use their proper meanings.

I’m gay, and I’m going to go out and have a retarded drag on a fag.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:03 PM EST up reply actions  

Are we all aware that most/all professional MRDD advocates have 'given up' the term 'retarded'?

I think this adds quite a different spin on the whole thing.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 3:05 PM EST up reply actions  

The term cognitively delayed is now the proper term.

At least that is what the crazy old hag said in my college special ed class.

Technically retarded is still used in the field, I think, but you aren’t suppose to say it in front of students. Actually, you aren’t suppose to even saying like that in front of students. If you let it slip that a student has ADHD (probably doesn’t) you could be in big trouble.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:08 PM EST up reply actions  

Those are private medical issues.

The teacher shouldn’t tell the class those things.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:10 PM EST up reply actions  

That is the point I'm rying to make.

The term retarded might still be used behind the scenes. But, you’d never use it to describe someone.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:17 PM EST up reply actions  

I use it to describe a website that rhymes with Bled Recorder

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:19 PM EST up reply actions  

Ted Turner's blog?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:19 PM EST up reply actions  

Hmmm.

Are you trying to rhyme “recorder” with “reporter”? That’s a tough sell.

by the finest muffins on Jan 24, 2012 4:58 PM EST up reply actions  

x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:05 PM EST up reply actions  

That's exactly what I'm talking about.

Gay has only meant homosexual for a tiny fraction of the whole time our language has existed.

People are too dumb to be taught to be respectful of other people, so it’s best just to get it out of the way.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 3:06 PM EST up reply actions  

"People are too dumb to be taught to be respectful of other people"

Did you just call yourself dumb?

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Jan 24, 2012 4:08 PM EST up reply actions  

I disagree with using gay in a derogatory way

Just because a high number of people do it, does not make it right at all.

Also I feel like I notice mostly teenagers use “gay” in that manner, not so much amongst adults.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:02 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't like it either

But it is our duty to move it along as quickly as possible.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 3:03 PM EST up reply actions  

The NBA told me that it's wrong to use the word gay

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:06 PM EST up reply actions  

I have gay friends who use the derogatory gay

it’s not even associated with homosexuality in that context anymore.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:07 PM EST up reply actions  

i have gay friends who are the same way

and gay friends who are offended by it.

I guess the problem is, we know where it came from.

Also there are so many other words that can be used instead. Why do we need to use “gay”, when stupid, fucked up, dumb, idiotic, bad etc can be used instead.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:08 PM EST up reply actions  

My cousin is gay, and uses the term "faggot" consantly.

During Christmas I slipped up and used the term “faggy”. I was really embarrassed because I said it in front of him. But, he thought it was hilarious.

It just depends on the person.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:10 PM EST up reply actions  

People are like that.

All different and shit.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions  

When my son was HS all of his black friends used 'niggah' and 'muh niggah' when referring to each other (and their white copunterparts) as friends'

And so did my son and the other white kids. Yet when a teacher heard him use the expression she censored him and made him go to a week’s detention. He had no idea that he was being ‘racist’.

The more hot/inflammable word/terms get used the more they lose their power …ain’t that right my Niggahs?

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.

by Madville on Jan 24, 2012 8:21 PM EST up reply actions  

When I work

i never punish kids for their vocabulary. I figure they can talk however they want.

But I also have my own feelings on word usage.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 8:37 PM EST up reply actions  

Mt use of "Whatever queer" has similar origins

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:09 PM EST up reply actions  

That seems to be a political statement

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:38 PM EST up reply actions  

If two Cardinals fans marry,

I’d wear a shirt that says “Marriage is So Taguchi”

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:39 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

This site was really cutting into his Words With Friends time

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Jan 24, 2012 6:19 PM EST up reply actions  

You don't think...he could have...

met a girl?!?

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 6:32 PM EST up reply actions  

or is on his way to confess his love to JCH.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 6:36 PM EST up reply actions  

I need to shave!

(down there)

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 25, 2012 11:21 AM EST up reply actions  

Or wait for nyc to arrive with his ManGroomer™.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 25, 2012 3:09 PM EST up reply actions  

He's married

and she’s lovely. She and Mrs. Scrabbles hit it off the one time we all met, as they commiserated over their worthless, internet-bound husbands.

And I’m pretty sure he’s working on his PhD dissertation and needs the blackout to get any work done. That, or his mistress got wise and is now extorting him.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 7:08 PM EST up reply actions  

I can sympathize

My work got bat-shit crazy for awhile an I was off of the Internet and twitter for about six months.

Going offline is the only way to get real things accomplished.

darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.

by Hawkeye00 on Jan 24, 2012 7:57 PM EST up reply actions  

I've yet to find a way to actually do this

Google was no help at all

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 8:00 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

I feel like

I would be less productive if I did.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 10:25 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah

I can’t imagine not using the internet in any capacity at all, or being so busy so as to not be able to. I’d probably go mildly insane.

Go Colts Dammit!

by Ram27 on Jan 24, 2012 10:38 PM EST up reply actions  

yep

THANKS A LOT BUTTHOLE.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 4:25 PM EST up reply actions  

I picture him in a NY bar somewhere

arguing about the Reds to someone who doesn’t give a shit about baseball.

by GrooveLeg on Jan 25, 2012 8:06 AM EST up reply actions   2 recs

I guess I just think it is hard for me to understand

Leake has down more in his 2 years as a professional to justify a spot in the rotation than Homer Bailey has since he joined the organization in 2004.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:04 PM EST up reply actions  

Right

I totally agree. The problem is that Leake has options and Bailey doesn’t.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:09 PM EST up reply actions  

That would be some assbackward manuvering.

Walt is smarter than that. If we add someone to necessitate taking someone out of the rotation, it better be Bailey packing his bags to some team looking for a reclamation project.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 2:10 PM EST up reply actions  

Last week in the Bailey thread I was trying to think of a way to NOT type the words 'reclamation project.'

I told myself I didn’t want to be the first Reds fan here to say that about out one of our first round picks.

But it has been seven or eight years now. Damn.

Sad that I can’t even convince myself to believe ‘Esteban Loaiza ceiling’ anymore.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 2:28 PM EST up reply actions  

With this logic

it should be Arroyo packing his bags. If Oswalt signs and someone is forced out of the MLB rotation, Leake makes the most sense in that he can go to AAA and continue starting. Even though he is our 3rd best starter.

And the point of adding Oswalt is that we have no depth in the rotation at all. Considering that Oswalt himself is a big-time injury risk, no other starters should be packing their bags even if we acquire him.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 2:55 PM EST up reply actions  

yes

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:03 PM EST up reply actions  

the team that picks him up

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:09 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm not sure where to put this.

But Oswalt’s path is far more similar to Arroyo’s than to Cueto’s. I’d bet that he puts up a season closer to Arroyo’s than to Cueto’s in 2012.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:10 PM EST up reply actions  

OK, this is the craziest thing I've heard yet

Oswalt is either going to get injured, or be WAY better than Arroyo.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:14 PM EST up reply actions  

First off, you said 2012 Arroyo

Second of all, I think Arroyo was last “moderately above average” way back in 2006. Unless you just mean throwing a ton of mediocre innings is above average.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:19 PM EST up reply actions  

Basically, I think Arroyo will be a 1.5 WAR pitcher

Oswalt will be ~2 WAR, and Cueto will be ~5 WAR

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:20 PM EST up reply actions  

I really hope you are right

But Oswalt has never been that bad. Never.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 3:22 PM EST up reply actions  

last year.

And now he’s one year older.

And now he’s older still.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:24 PM EST up reply actions  

Quick! Sign him!!

The season doesn't start until the Cincinnati Reds take the field! Reclaim The Opener!!

by TheC on Jan 24, 2012 3:58 PM EST up reply actions  

fWAR?

Cuz for pitchers it actually makes a huge difference.

Second rebuttal: low on Oswalt high on Cueto. I think we should stick to agreeing about catchers cuz we don’t about pitchers.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions  

I used bWAR to look up historicity.

But the general point I’m making stands no matter which WAR.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:25 PM EST up reply actions  

I think Oswalt will be good pitcher when he is on the field.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:16 PM EST up reply actions  

Hopefully not!

that would be an offseason miracle if he didn’t!

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:08 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't think Bailey has earned a spot regardless of the situation

He hasn’t been terrible the last 2 seasons, but he hasn’t been great either. So if there are 5 guys (or 4 guys and Arroyo) who are better than Bailey is the odd man out.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:11 PM EST up reply actions  

But then you lose the rotation depth

Look, I’m not saying this whole thing is cut and dry, but the difference between Bailey and Leake is not so great as to justify totally getting rid of Bailey.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:15 PM EST up reply actions  

How do you lose rotation depth?

why is it if Homer Bailey moves to the bullpen he cannot move back to the rotation?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:17 PM EST up reply actions  

Well, number one, I was responding more to GBSAMBB's assertion that Bailey should be traded

Sending him to the ‘pen would be better, obvs, but considering he seems really particular about his stretching and such, it doesn’t seem like an easy move to pull off.

Also, I think perhaps some are working from very unrealistic assessments of these two players. Leake hasn’t been leaps and bounds better than Bailey. In fact, I think the argument could be made that they have been pretty similar the past few years.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:22 PM EST up reply actions  

One healthy...

One not.

In fact, I think that’s more an argument for Bailey to the pen than the performance comparison.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 2:27 PM EST up reply actions  

That's a good point

and I was even open to the idea of making him the closer before the bullpen got all awesome and shit.

I guess I’m just not done with Bailey yet. And whether we like it or not, the options thing matters.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:33 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm with ya, Chuck

getting rid of Bailey does nothing to help our perceived lack of SP depth. If history is any indication, he’ll be on the DL for a healthy (pun intended) chunk of time so the rotation, in this wildly-unlikely-and-probably-not-worth-arguing-about scenario, would be Latos/Cueto/Oswalt/Leake/Arroyo

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 2:56 PM EST up reply actions  

I disagree

Over the last 2 years Home Bailey has pitched 241 innings, with an ERA of 4.44 and an ERA+ of 90.

Mike Leake has pitched 306 innings, with an ERA of 4.06 and an ERA+ of 99.

Plus as KMB says Leake has been healthy, other than “shoulder fatigue” which may or may not have been an actually injury, and just an excuse to get him off the roster as Leake wore down due to 2010 being his first year in professional baseball, with 5 man rotations and 6 month seasons.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:29 PM EST up reply actions  

Didn't say he should be traded

But if it’s a choice between he and Leake having a rotation spot, it’s a no-brainer.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 2:36 PM EST up reply actions  

Okay

My argument is, maybe it’s not a no-brainer.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Noted.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 2:39 PM EST up reply actions  

he can pitch in relief, i don't know if he can put fires out mid inning

but he pitched in relief in game 3 of the 2010 NLDS, so I guess he can if given enough warning. Also with the 6 other guys who are all actually good relief pitchers, he wouldn’t really wouldn’t need to be in many situations where he has to warm up in a hurry.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 6:29 PM EST up reply actions  

we're really talking about 2-3 starts here, fwiw

Although I honestly don’t think they’ll skip starts to give Cueto and Latos more starts and thus more innings. Those two will be more valuable in September then they will in May

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 2:35 PM EST up reply actions  

Arroyo had an option!

So it’s fine to pick up DatDude’s, but not asshead’s, oh, no. Let’s make him impossible to move. Yeah, that’s what we should do.

Wear something sexy to my funeral.

by Pops Daniels on Jan 24, 2012 1:57 PM EST up reply actions  

maybe Walt learned his lesson?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:03 PM EST up reply actions  

Hope so

any more unnecessarily long extensions are going to make this team very difficult to keep competitive in 3 years.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 2:58 PM EST up reply actions  

he had pretty strong projections for 2011 as well.

And he doesn’t have to stay in the bullpen all season even if he starts there, he is one injury or ineffective starting pitcher away from being bumped into the rotation.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 6:27 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm not convinced it makes the team any better to trade Leake starts for Oswalt starts

Sure, Oswalt starts would probably be a bit better than Bailey or Chapman starts, and almost certainly better than (hypothetical #7 starter) starts, but $8 million better? I don’t see it.

If we could somehow convince Arroyo to retire, though…….

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 2:05 PM EST up reply actions  

yeah, when you think about it as trading Leake's production for Oswalt's production

it is hard to justify. Really the only way you can justify it is if you want to give Leake April off so he can finish the season in the rotation, which I do not know if that is necessary, he has two years of MLB experience, pitched into September last year, and he will turn 25 in November. His arm strength is built up and he isn’t really really young anymore.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:08 PM EST up reply actions  

Really?

I think we are forgetting how awesome Oswalt is. Last season was the first time in eight years that he missed significant playing time. He’ll be 34 next season, so it’s not like he’s really old. His career FIP is 3.35, ERA+ is 133. I’m tempted to bet that Oswalt next year will be better than Cueto, and we can possibly get him for $8 mil and losing a few starts from Leake?

Has the whole world GONE CRAZY??!!

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:13 PM EST up reply actions  

I just don't think we expect his ass to age like fine wine

If his problems prove to be chronic, and 2011 is the new rule (rather than the exception), he is still solid but far from awesome.

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 2:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Right

So we make sure he’s healthy before we sign him.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:16 PM EST up reply actions  

I really don't care about his ass

what about his arm?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:17 PM EST up reply actions  

Oswalt has had back issues brewing for a long time

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

That would be a very bad bet.

Look at his stats last year! All career worsts or close to it.

A bad back NEVER gets better. Not completely.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 2:16 PM EST up reply actions  

Didn't Randy Johnson mis a season with the Mariners due to a bad back?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:17 PM EST up reply actions  

With a little help from Roger Clemens Magic Juice

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 2:27 PM EST up reply actions  

Snake Juice?

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Jan 24, 2012 2:49 PM EST up reply actions  

That is purported to be

Rasputin’s giant preserved phallus.

Wear something sexy to my funeral.

by Pops Daniels on Jan 24, 2012 2:29 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

Also,

legend has it, that said penis had a fortunately placed, large genital wart somewhere one or near the head that was supposedly like money in the G-spot bank.

Wear something sexy to my funeral.

by Pops Daniels on Jan 24, 2012 2:31 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

Yep, that sounds like him.

Always thinking of her pleasure and spreading genital warts.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 2:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Well, our bet wouldn't be called until the end of the season

How’s about it? I offer you an avatar bet that Oswalt has a better season than Cueto.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:35 PM EST up reply actions  

Are you sure about this?

That’s a really, really bad bet. You’re going so far out on a limb that no one wants to hang out with you.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 2:38 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm sure about this

I’m betting that you seriously underestimating RoyO. I just hope he kicks all the ass he’s going to kick while in a Reds uniform.

How do you want to measure “better”?

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:40 PM EST up reply actions  

I CALL DIBS!

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:42 PM EST up reply actions  

why don't you trust me?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:44 PM EST up reply actions  

You rang?

"I'd walk through hell in a gasoline suit to play baseball" - Pete Rose

by Officer Dibble on Jan 24, 2012 6:13 PM EST up reply actions  

OFFICER DIBBLE SIGHTING!!!

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.

by Madville on Jan 24, 2012 8:25 PM EST up reply actions  

Pete Rose'd?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:41 PM EST up reply actions  

No

I think Cueto is going to be awesome, too. I just think Oswalt is going to be awesomer. And hopefully they are both awesome with the Reds, that way we both win!

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:41 PM EST up reply actions  

Sigh.

This will give me no joy.

I will need another bet to supplement this one.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 2:42 PM EST up reply actions  

Dig it

So who do you nominate to arbitrate?

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:44 PM EST up reply actions  

How's 'bout RijoSabes?

He seems a pretty smart, impartial, and largely absent fella.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:45 PM EST up reply actions  

I ALREADY CALLED DIBS!

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:46 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't have you any more than I hate Chuck, scout's honor

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 2:58 PM EST up reply actions  

but do you have him any less

How does this make you feel, kettle?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:04 PM EST up reply actions  

I can't have him, sadly. He won't return my calls.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:06 PM EST up reply actions  

quiet, jizzmop

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:41 PM EST up reply actions  

'Jizzmop' may be the most underrated of single-word insults.

But I’d need to see a list of other contenders.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 25, 2012 12:18 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't openly despise you

I don’t despise you at all

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Jan 29, 2012 6:09 PM EST up reply actions  

See, the best part

is that if I lose, I still win! It’s genius!

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 2:48 PM EST up reply actions  

please don't.

I don’t trust your powers.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:00 PM EST up reply actions  

Seriously?

I don’t think it would fit.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 3:01 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:08 PM EST up reply actions  

nuh uh

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:13 PM EST up reply actions  

I did, she said your wife has a bigger wiener than you do

I agreed.

BOOM SHACKA LACKA!

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:17 PM EST up reply actions  

RR needs more of this

I love you guys

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:20 PM EST up reply actions  

hores?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:42 PM EST up reply actions  

Dude is high as a kite in almost every pic

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Jan 24, 2012 3:21 PM EST up reply actions  

He's Belushi'd!

Or.. He’s Farley’d!

Or.. He’s Farley’d!Take yer pick.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 3:28 PM EST up reply actions  

I 100% agree

@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!

by Dave from Louisville on Jan 24, 2012 6:25 PM EST up reply actions  

Rolen'd

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.

by Madville on Jan 24, 2012 8:28 PM EST up reply actions  

Oswalt was not good last year, despite nice looking ERA.

Just about everything was career-worst or close to it.

Maybe there’s still some upside there, but he sure looks done.

Then again, that’s what everyone thought about Fat Elvis.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 1:51 PM EST reply actions  

Rec'd

I can’t believe I thought of Willard before I thought of George McFly when I was thinking about Crispin Glover.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Jan 24, 2012 2:03 PM EST up reply actions  

Beautiful...heart wrenching and amusing...

Pops you got taste.

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.

by Madville on Jan 24, 2012 2:26 PM EST up reply actions  

What happened to Rick Sweet?

Paul Brown Stadium, where everyone's hopes go to die.

by DTFCPDX on Jan 24, 2012 3:19 PM EST up reply actions  

he is a catching instructor

Buddy Bell is the new AAA manager, word on the street is he is a fairly hot managing prospect, and could be the guy to replace Dusty, if he leaves after his contract ends this year.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:20 PM EST up reply actions  

I thought it was David Bell, not Buddy

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 3:21 PM EST up reply actions  

details!

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:22 PM EST up reply actions  

I wish it was Kristin Bell

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions  

who was the Bell on JAG?

I like that Bell.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:25 PM EST up reply actions  

That's who I'm thinking of, it might be Kristen instead

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:26 PM EST up reply actions  

I looked it up, Catherine.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:27 PM EST up reply actions  

Oh yeah...

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Jan 24, 2012 3:52 PM EST up reply actions  

yeah, her too

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:52 PM EST up reply actions  

Kristen Bell is from Veronica Mars

and some new show with Don Cheadle that looks bad.

by the finest muffins on Jan 24, 2012 5:08 PM EST up reply actions  

and Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

and from my dreams.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 5:08 PM EST up reply actions  

this

Brevity is the soul of wit.

by Heeringa on Jan 24, 2012 4:22 PM EST up reply actions  

Easy solution

Sign him to a minor-league deal

by Nasty N8 on Jan 24, 2012 2:00 PM EST reply actions  

FWIW

2011 may be an anomaly for Oswalt, at least on his aging curve. His hometown was basically destroyed by a tornado and from everything I’ve heard, he wanted to quit baseball so that he go home and help. That doesn’t mean the back issues aren’t real, but if he’s healthy, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him have a resurgence this year.

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Jan 24, 2012 2:34 PM EST reply actions  

The way I figure it

If he signs with the Cardinals, he’s going to be Lance Berkman all over again

If he signs with the Reds, he is going to spend 120 days on the DL and pitch like Edinson Volquez the rest of the time.

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 2:35 PM EST up reply actions  

Scrabbles Bait

Here’s another reason why the NFL is very bad and run by very bad people.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 2:41 PM EST reply actions  

If he had that many concussions he shouldn't have been in the game.

The Giants didn’t do anything wrong. The 49ers should have all kinds of fingers pointed at them, especially if they knew about the concussions But, a lot of players hide them because they want to play.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 2:55 PM EST up reply actions  

hey, I wanted to tell you.

In this thing I’m reading right now, tort judgments were called “entering the market of sadomasochism” which. is. awesome.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

[speechless]

A Civil Action is a much tamer but still interesting book/movie about mass torts. Robert Duvall’s character is great.

by ken on Jan 24, 2012 3:02 PM EST up reply actions  

yeah, I dug that movie.

This class is called “Critical Jurisprudence” and it might as well be titled “Throw punches at Err’body up in here”

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:03 PM EST up reply actions  

mass tortes

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Jan 24, 2012 3:05 PM EST up reply actions  

I've enjoyed the playoffs quite a bit actually.

I just don’t like the teams that are in the super bowl. I wanted a Harbaugh Bowl.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

Agreed

every team I wanted to win in each series has lost. Horrible playoffs this year, personally speaking. And so boring.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:03 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't know... Tim Tebow lost.

Well, his team was absolutely destroyed. I took a lot satisfaction from that.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:04 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Yeah, but instead I got to see Tebow implode.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:05 PM EST up reply actions  

I coulda been happy wither way with that game

if Tebow lost, I wouldn’t have to hear more Tebow arguing. If he won, good because the Patriots lost and because Tebow is fine with me.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:09 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm a Reds and Cowboys fan

so if the Giants win the Super Bowl, it will have been a pretty crappy sports year for me, with the Cardinals winning the World Series and the Giants winning the Super Bowl. Ugh, go Pats.

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 3:04 PM EST up reply actions  

err...

it rained yesterday?

dammit, you’re right.

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 3:07 PM EST up reply actions  

Plus, he gets to hang out with Dallas Latos

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Jan 24, 2012 3:14 PM EST up reply actions  

The entire system is pretty fucked up, Giants and 49ers included.

I’m a little weirded out by the slow killing of young fit men by old, fat men myself. But hey.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 2:58 PM EST up reply actions  

Those young fit men want $$$$.

You don’t play, you don’t get paid. I think the NFL has done a lot to treat and prevent concussions. But, in all honesty, a player could still have a concussion and neither the coaches or training staff would have a clue. The player might know, but they probably don’t want to come off the field.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:00 PM EST up reply actions  

isn't it strange that they are incentivized to give up their lives?

Shouldn’t something be done about that?

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:02 PM EST up reply actions  

You ever played football?

Most people will stay on the field because they want to. This isn’t something limited to the NFL. College and prep players also do the same thing. I remember playing through a concussion because I didn’t want to leave the field.

Sometimes the game trumps all.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:05 PM EST up reply actions  

I did. I stopped when I stopped growing, moving me down the coolness ladder to lacrosse and then soccer.

But you’d leave the field for a broken leg, right?

The same forces that say the game trumps a head injury are the ones saying Joey Votto is a mangina for his DL trips a few years back. I don’t like those forces.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:07 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't think Votto was/is a pussy for that.

The guy was going through a lot of shit then. I don’t know how I would act if my father died right now.

A broken leg isn’t a good analogy, even though I know a few people that played with broken ankles, hands, and arms. It is kind of hard to run with a broken leg. With a concussion (if it is mild) you can still function. You can still tackle, run, etc. You might have headaches, feel woozy, or even get sick. But, you can still do it. A lot of people will hide the affects (if the can) to stay on the field…. especially if you are playing for a Super Bowl. We aren’t talking about forces. We are talking about what a single person decides to do. If a coach tells a player that he should get out there, and knows the player has a concussion, then that coach should be fired immediately.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:14 PM EST up reply actions  

the players make the decision to keep playing because

they’ll be ostracized by teammates, yelled at by a coach, told to man up by fans. And when that player (Dave Duerson) kills himself 15 years later, the NFL won’t even blink.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:17 PM EST up reply actions  

With how concussions are portrayed now, all they have to do is see the doctor or the trainer

They will prove they have a concussion, and it should be end of story.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:20 PM EST up reply actions  

really I think a better analogy is a pitcher who has thrown a lot of pitchers

yeah TJS is not a life threatening head injury, but it is something where the player and coach are putting the short term ahead of the long term. It wasn’t until fairly recently that baseball really encouraged raining in pitchers, rather than encouraging them to “man up”.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:18 PM EST up reply actions  

and of course baseball really only did that

not to protect young arms, but to protect expensive investments.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:19 PM EST up reply actions  

I think you are being naive

to the forces of societal pressure. The archetypical male is supposed to “sack up”, “tough it out”, “man up”, “don’t be a girl”, and all that noise.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 3:18 PM EST up reply actions  

And that's how you get permanent head damage.

If your coaches knew you had a concussion, they’d have pulled you. Sometimes it’s less about “being a man” or even the love of the game and more about safety. I love rugby, but I wouldn’t risk the next 50 years of my life for the next 30 minutes of a rugby game. And my coaches would understand that too.

Cincy Jungle: Where the Rocky Mountains are in the Pacific Ocean

by sexsalad on Jan 24, 2012 4:00 PM EST up reply actions  

Of course they would have.

That is what you would do, and you have very good reasons.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 4:05 PM EST up reply actions  

We're all incentivized to give up our lives, dude

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:10 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

I'm all ears, hombrito.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:11 PM EST up reply actions  

and mortally doomed to

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:12 PM EST up reply actions  

At this point, the NFL (and football in general) needs to be considered a bloodsport

The problem is that people want to enjoy the game, so they try to rationalize and/or deny the increasingly apparent reality that it is horribly debilitating to the participants.

This is a sport that kills its participants – not on the field (very often), but by significantly shortening their lifespan. They can try to make it safer, but that is just the reality of the situation. I think as spectators it is important to acknowledge this and then decide whether or not you still want to support the sport.

I have been a boxing fan for a long time, and I have spent time in the ring, and that shit is deadly (and the more I think about it, the harder it is for me to support it). I would never let my kids get in a boxing ring.

More and more, I can’t help but think that football is nearly as bad, but the danger is still far less appreciated.

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 3:12 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

Which is why they really need to start supporting the retirees.

They need health insurance and a pension.

I’d let my kid box though. It is great for the body, and you might as well know how to throw some punches.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:15 PM EST up reply actions  

There is a fucking huge difference between learning how to hit a bag and actually boxing

I think letting your kid get punched repeatedly in the head is a horrible, horrible idea. Have you ever tried it? Ever been knocked out and have no memory of it happening? I have, and it is unpleasant, and will probably give me dementia or something when I get old.

Spend a few years doing it, and you get all sorts of great side effects. My brother suffers from weird headaches, has a massive calcium deposit on his forehead, and all sorts of nasal problems, and he never took a punch without headgear on. Guys who do it professionally are lucky to come out of it with a few marbles still rolling around.

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 3:28 PM EST up reply actions  

I agree with this.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:31 PM EST up reply actions  

I've been knocked cold twice and 'knocked out' boxing once

It’s not a lot of fun.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:31 PM EST up reply actions  

I've only been knocked out once.

I’ll agree it isn’t cool.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions  

I was knocked out once when i feel of my bike

i have a 12 hour memory gap.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:43 PM EST up reply actions  

I got knocked out in a lacrosse game once.

I gave the other guy seizures though!

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 3:44 PM EST up reply actions  

I didn't have a memory gap

I was only out for a couple seconds. It was just more of a “what the fuck happened” kind of thing.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:44 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't know how long i was unconscious

I was riding my bike around the school yard (after hours I grew up next to a school), and fell off my bike. A family came to play on the school playground, and they found me out cold next to my bike, and they called 911. The paramedics came, and I woke up, they walked me home (rather than taking me to the hospital….), told my parents I was fine, and left. I woke up at like 3AM throwing up.

I don’t remember falling off or anything else until I woke up vomiting.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:55 PM EST up reply actions  

I may have flashes of the paramedics, but I am not sure if that is a real memory

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:55 PM EST up reply actions  

I remember my freshmen year of football.

We had a kid playing safety, and he won the game the previous week with a viscious over the middle hit that broke up a play. He had a concussion. I don’t think he knew he had one, and the coaches definitely didn’t know. He went through the week of practice, and started the next game. The coaches pulled him once he started to show signs. He wasn’t playing in the right spots, and things like that. They took him to the locker room where he threw up all over the shower. It was pretty freaky. I think he was out for three weeks.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 4:10 PM EST up reply actions  

wow

i’ve been knocked out a couple times but never anything that serious. maybe as a child i wouldn’t have been so scared, but knowing what i know now, if i was waking up vomiting, i would have been scared out of my mind.

by ClayMC on Jan 25, 2012 8:58 AM EST up reply actions  

my "knock-out" stories are a bit more embarrassing.

neither involved sports, but both probably would have been entertaining to watch.

the first came when my bad influence of a step-brother threw a giant mass of ice at my head during a snowball fight. i was 7. he was 12. apparently the age difference wasn’t enough of an advantage for him. i woke up to him standing over me, trying to convince me nothing happened.

the second came when i was playing tag with my younger brother. as i was running from him, i turned around to see where he was. when i turned to face forward again, a perfectly placed tree branch clotheslined me. clocked me good. my brother said i nearly did a backflip as my legs flew out from under me. that one i wish i had on tape.

by ClayMC on Jan 25, 2012 9:06 AM EST up reply actions  

Embarrassing childhood injuries I wish I had on tape:

We were playing hide and seek one night in the backyard. My little brother was “it”. He was 5 or 6 at the time. He was pretty easy to get away from because he was the youngest, but he had my cousin cornered. My cousin took off and my brother gave chase.

Unfortunately, it was around dusk and the dew was starting to settle on the grass. As my cousin rounded the clothesline post, he nearly lost his footing. My brother was not so lucky. He slipped hard, splaying his limbs all akimbo. He slammed hard into the post, testicles first.

He jumped up quickly and tried to scream, but all that came out was a high-pitched grunt. Holding his tiny, pre-pubescent testicles in his little hands, he waddled into the house. The rest of us were in shock. He went to the emergency room and had to get four stitches in his scrotum.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 25, 2012 9:19 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

hahaha!

scrotum stiches. i would have had to go to the emergency room as well from laughing so hard.

by ClayMC on Jan 25, 2012 3:05 PM EST up reply actions  

You'd think it was funny

but it wasn’t. It really, really wasn’t.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 25, 2012 3:11 PM EST up reply actions  

Scrotum Stitches...

I’m pretty sure I have their debut album, “Wrong Nipple.”

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 25, 2012 3:11 PM EST up reply actions  

SS's debut was "Finger in the Wrong Hole"

You’re thinking of the 1983 classic “Placenta for Daddy” by Wrong Nipple.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 25, 2012 3:32 PM EST up reply actions  

I used to play with a guy who was in a punk band named

Placenta on a Stick

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 25, 2012 3:55 PM EST up reply actions  

I had no idea what was going on when I woke up

To this day I don’t remember falling off my bike, so I had no idea why I was throwing up, or why my parents were so concerned as to take me to the hospital.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 25, 2012 10:15 AM EST up reply actions  

My "good one" was a head on collision where I was going 50mph and they were going 60mph

I remember headlights, then a flash of the police, then a flash of the hospital, then waking up with the worst headache of my life about 24 hours after the wreck..

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:46 PM EST up reply actions  

I knocked myself out freshman year.

I was living at the dorms and I had the bottom bunk. I hit my head when I got up and woke up an hour later, having missed class. The headache kept me out of the rest of my classes.

by crolfer on Jan 24, 2012 3:48 PM EST up reply actions  

The NFL stuff has scared me a little, I won't lie

I’ve had five concussions that I know of for sure. I used to be incredibly smart (yuk it up, fuckfaces), but now I occasionally forget the simplest of things. I’m sure it’s a combination of being 35, the alcohol abuse, the cigarettes, and god knows what else but it still scares me a little.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:45 PM EST up reply actions  

Genes.

Dont’ forget (hardy har har) that some of our parents gave us super durable awesome Cheerio-quality myelin sheaths and some of our parents gave us some in-store Corntown/Crispy Oats brand bullshit.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 3:55 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

I wish I could rec this again

The idea that eating off-brand cereal causes serious brain development issues had me near tears the first time I read this. Coming back across it again some hours later, I’m losing it again.

Thanks, Alan.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 7:13 PM EST up reply actions  

You're welcome.

I think my syntax helped you to get more out of it than I meant to put into it but that’s how it is with some of history’s greatest blog posts, I guess.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 25, 2012 12:28 PM EST up reply actions  

There is a huge difference.

Did I say I’d want my kid to become a punch drunk boxer? No, I didn’t. Don’t jump to conclusions.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 3:42 PM EST up reply actions  

"I would let my kids box" implies you would let them get into the ring

Bad idea. From personal experience, I think it is a bad idea to ever get into a boxing ring and allow yourself to get hit repeatedly in the face.

Even with head gear and just “sparring”, it is really dangerous. Way more dangerous than most people appreciate.

There is nothing wrong with hitting a bag, but that is not “boxing”.

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Jan 24, 2012 6:25 PM EST up reply actions  

Now, this is a very personal, near and dear thing to me.

I’m running the most successful amateur boxing program in the U.S. We take the kids safety quite seriously. In fact, safety is our main priority. Youth boxing is safer that football. I can promise you that, because of the way it is refereed and monitored today. If anyone wants more info and a more detailed discussion. Contact me via e-mail. I’d be happy to dispel any preconceived notions about the dangers of youth boxing.

Wear something sexy to my funeral.

by Pops Daniels on Jan 25, 2012 9:29 AM EST up reply actions  

Agreed

As someone who had over 10 documented concussions in his 20s (boxing, rugby, incredibly stupid bar fights, car crashes, and being run over by a truck) this can get ugly really fast. Nothing is more fun or “manly” than having no short term memory for several months!

Boxing (and all other forms of organized/controlled violence) takes more than its pound of flesh and offers very little in the way of tangible rewards.

by Bill Doran on Jan 24, 2012 4:48 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm rec'ing RoastBeef here.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 3:49 PM EST up reply actions  

That's why we should embrace rugby in America.

I’m going to be starting my second year of it soon. It makes you tough, it’s fun as hell and it’s a physical sport that people could enjoy, but it isn’t half as dangerous as football.

Cincy Jungle: Where the Rocky Mountains are in the Pacific Ocean

by sexsalad on Jan 24, 2012 3:50 PM EST up reply actions  

theres' been talk of outlawing helmets in football.

It would probably be a good thing.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:52 PM EST up reply actions  

Football wouldn't work without helmets.

Because if you had no helmets with pads, that would be even more dangerous. If you get rid of pads, football sucks. It’s a sport made to be played with pads, namely because there’s blocking.

Cincy Jungle: Where the Rocky Mountains are in the Pacific Ocean

by sexsalad on Jan 24, 2012 3:54 PM EST up reply actions  

It's called Rugby

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Jan 24, 2012 3:55 PM EST up reply actions  

People say that and have no clue that there's a huge difference between the sports.

If you look about three comments above, you’ll see that I’m a rugby player. There isn’t blocking in rugby- it’s all about wrapping up, even in rucks. But for effective blocking, pads are needed.

Cincy Jungle: Where the Rocky Mountains are in the Pacific Ocean

by sexsalad on Jan 24, 2012 3:56 PM EST up reply actions  

Eh, looks like football without the pads to me

So I’m going with that

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Jan 24, 2012 3:59 PM EST up reply actions  

yeah.

Golf is just baseball without a pitcher, too.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 4:00 PM EST up reply actions  

Nope

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Jan 24, 2012 4:03 PM EST up reply actions  

So...golf DOES have pitchers?

I guess a pitcher would come in handy on the 19th hole.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 4:04 PM EST up reply actions  

has nothing to do with a pitcher

football is rugby without the keg.

"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville

by bbjones on Jan 24, 2012 10:57 PM EST via Android app up reply actions  

There's been talk of it.

There has also been talks of outlawing the three point stance. Neither of those will happen. If they did outlaw the helmets, just wait until there is a head to head collision. It would happen, and I bet more than you’d think.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 4:12 PM EST up reply actions  

Really?

I watched Invictus this week, and the rugby in that looked an awful lot like American football but without any padding or helmets.

by the finest muffins on Jan 24, 2012 5:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Seriously..

If American audiences were going to see that movie at all they were going to see it because they like Matt Damon and they like Morgan Freeman and they wanted to feel good about themselves after seeing something like ‘Rudy’ but historical and foreigny.

You don’t want to confuse those people with too much actual rugby.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 5:27 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah

Kinda like what they did with Mighty Ducks.

Flying V!!

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 5:29 PM EST up reply actions  

I went to a minor league hockey game last night

I SO wanted to see a Flying V

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Jan 29, 2012 6:25 PM EST up reply actions  

My attention wasn't fully on the movie, I'll admit.

But I thought it was interesting that the rugby scenes pretty much just showed the game with very little commentary or overlaid dialogue.

by the finest muffins on Jan 24, 2012 6:00 PM EST up reply actions  

Oh, and I'm a huge football fan.

Never played organized football in my life, but I love watching it.

Cincy Jungle: Where the Rocky Mountains are in the Pacific Ocean

by sexsalad on Jan 24, 2012 3:52 PM EST up reply actions  

And piling on top of each other like it's an orgy

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Jan 24, 2012 3:55 PM EST up reply actions  

So people with more experience than me

A few weeks ago I applied to a local campus of a national university, and today they sent me an email saying that they are forwarding my information to the local campus, where the local administration will decide whether to interview me.

Is it weird that they sent me an email to tell me that I may or may not get an interview?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:43 PM EST reply actions  

hey

it is better than although being highly qualified somebody they found somebody else to be more qualified.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 2:47 PM EST up reply actions  

They're gonna offer you a minor league deal.

If you pass the physical.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 2:57 PM EST up reply actions  

will i get to go to Spring Training with the big club?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:05 PM EST up reply actions  

Not weird at all...

In higher education it is considered standard protocol to inform all applicants of their status in any job search. Hooray for transparency!

Unfortunately many departments and offices are understaffed and have not been following through on this practice in recent years.

by Bill Doran on Jan 24, 2012 4:54 PM EST up reply actions  

It looks like the Tigers get Fielder

OM fucking G. He and Cabrera back-to-back is going to be so much sweet taters.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 3:05 PM EST reply actions  

That's certifiable

However, Cabrera-Fielder is one of the best back-to-back duos in the history of ever.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:11 PM EST up reply actions  

Pictured L-R

Cabrera, Fielder, Leyland:

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:14 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

what did they call themselves?

the Axis of Evil?

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 5:00 PM EST up reply actions  

MOD squad - Merchants of Death.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 5:43 PM EST up reply actions  

thankee

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 6:08 PM EST up reply actions  

holy sweet baby jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:11 PM EST up reply actions  

I assume one will DH this year

or they’ll alternate. It’ll work this year, no problem. The real issue is when V-Mart comes back next year and can’t catch. I assume he’ll be traded.

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 3:08 PM EST up reply actions  

Maybe he goes back to 3B, at least for the occasional game?

Just when I thought Boras had lost something on his fastball.

by ken on Jan 24, 2012 3:10 PM EST up reply actions  

Magglio! That random catcher!

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:08 PM EST up reply actions  

Also

Everybody be sure to freak out because this means Joey Votto is going to get a really big contract now. Of course, he was going to before, but now too.

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Jan 24, 2012 3:11 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, 1B are getting payed like they're the most important players on the field

it’s crazy.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:12 PM EST up reply actions  

...

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Jan 24, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions  

where did you find that picture of Crawford?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions  

x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:24 PM EST up reply actions  

mod damnit

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:25 PM EST up reply actions  

there needs to be an animated gif of him shoving the remote up his butt

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:24 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Settle down, priest.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 3:49 PM EST up reply actions  

seriously, it's what happens next and it's fantastic

All over a video game IIRC.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 3:50 PM EST up reply actions  

World of Warcraft to be exact.

The kid has some serious anger issues, I’ve seen other videos of him too. He’s a spoiled brat who needs some serious counseling.

by crolfer on Jan 24, 2012 3:51 PM EST up reply actions  

Wow...

The town was already too small with Nick Fairley and Ndamokung Suh.

by GrooveLeg on Jan 24, 2012 3:44 PM EST up reply actions  

Not this year

You must have forgotten his final LDS at-bat.

by ken on Jan 24, 2012 5:33 PM EST up reply actions  

Woof

Ryan Howard is one of my least favorite ballplayers, but I still feel terrible for him for that one.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 5:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, ugh

He went to “Missouri State” or whatever they call themselves.

by crolfer on Jan 24, 2012 10:25 PM EST up reply actions  

No, I didn't forget at all.

That just further emphasizes my point.

MLB voting isn’t quite as bad as NBA voting, but it seems like injured dudes get voted in every year anyway (see: Utley, Chase).

Doesn’t mean he’ll be healthy enough to play, but I’d still venture a guess that he’s one of the top 3 vote getters at 1B.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 5:36 PM EST up reply actions  

Maybe he gets third, with Fielder and Pujols jumping leagues.

But you said he’d get elected, which I don’t see happening.

Utley finished well behind Weeks and BP last year, though iirc he got grandfathered in by the voters in ’10 despite an injury.

by ken on Jan 24, 2012 5:51 PM EST up reply actions  

me? exaggeration?! Never!

Yeah, so he probably won’t get elected, but I guarantee it’ll suck for someone like Freeman or Ike Davis who will be having a really solid first half but will be massively out-voted by a guy who hasn’t swung a bat all year.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 6:00 PM EST up reply actions  

Hate to say it

but I bet Berkman gets the vote. St Louis does a pretty damn good job of supporting their own. See: Berkman starting in the OF in 2011.

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Jan 25, 2012 9:33 AM EST up reply actions  

Ugh. Bad news.

Tony LaRussa is managing the NL All-Star game. I thought we were done with that assclown.

by crolfer on Jan 24, 2012 3:22 PM EST reply actions  

I wonder what would have happened if the Reds would have made it to the World Series in 1995.

It was known early on that regardless of performance Davey Johnson was a lame duck manager who would be replaced by Ray Knight in 1996. Davey Johnson was hired by Baltimore the following season, since they didn’t manage for home field advantage, would he have managed the N.L. team in a Baltimore uniform?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 3:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Of the 5 top WAR totals for 1B in the NL from 2008-2011

3 now play in the AL.

Joey Votto is the reigning king of NL 1B. Long live the king!

(NOTE: He was actually the king when Pujols moved on, but with Prince gone, only Berkman and Howard are in sneezing distance.)

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Jan 24, 2012 3:22 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

I'm amazed Howard is within sneezing distance

maybe within one-of-his-moonshots distance.

Freeman, Berkman, Stanton are the only guys I think will even have a chance to stack up to Joey in the NL now. In fact, they might be the only ones who manage to even be respectable, at least in 2012.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:27 PM EST up reply actions  

Oops

that was a dumb mistake. So the list is even smaller!

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:31 PM EST up reply actions  

Doesn't he seem like a 1B though?

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:31 PM EST up reply actions  

he does.

for a moment there I thought I was mistaken.

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Jan 24, 2012 4:04 PM EST up reply actions  

Freeman?

I kind of see him as being a bit of a Sean Casey prior to the injury that sapped his power.

by crolfer on Jan 24, 2012 3:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Freeman is YOUNG.

He has the chance to be really good as long as all his moving parts stay moving over the next two decades.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 3:32 PM EST up reply actions  

I really like the guy.

I just think he’ll have more of a Sean Casey career than a Prince/Joey/Albert career.

by crolfer on Jan 24, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions  

He supposedly has excellent defense

and he’s still really young while already being a solid hitter. Plus, he has my birthday (which I just found out).

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 24, 2012 3:32 PM EST up reply actions  

no way Freeman is in the Joey Votto tier

I’d be shocked if he had even one season approaching an average Votto season

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 5:03 PM EST up reply actions  

I agree

I said he was one of the only ones who even has a chance to stack up and be respectable. 1B is all of a sudden a pretty sad sack of candidates in the NL now.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 25, 2012 7:41 PM EST up reply actions  

This is depressing.

Peter Gammons @pgammo Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
Joey Votto will love L.A.

by crolfer on Jan 24, 2012 4:01 PM EST reply actions  

Relax.

Gammons hasn’t been right about anything since pre-Buckner.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 4:04 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

He would!

He’s an NBA fan, and LaMarcus Aldrige is tough to beat!

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 5:43 PM EST up reply actions  

I bet insurance will cover it, and probably because it was an injury sustained off the field.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 4:13 PM EST up reply actions  

It lloks like some part of his salary could be paid for by insurance
an executive of one club reports “they’ll pick up enough to make it comfortable to move him.” One thing to keep in mind is that it’s believed the Tigers will collect significant insurance dollars on Martinez. So if they want to take on some other team’s salary dump, without giving up much in return, that might just be doable.

Link

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Jan 24, 2012 4:14 PM EST up reply actions  

CoCo to the Jays.

1 year, $4.5 million.

Reported by those reporters that do such fine reporting on reportable topics, MLBTR…or Ken Rosenthal.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 4:37 PM EST reply actions  

Wow, he really blew it on timing market value.

And it’s a bummer that we didn’t get him that cheap instead of Madson, considering there isn’t a lot of difference in their 2012 prospective performance.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 4:44 PM EST up reply actions  

By the time we get the real numbers, Madson will probably cost less

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 24, 2012 4:45 PM EST up reply actions  

didn't you hear?

Madson agreed to pay for Oswalt’s 2012 contract just so he could pitch for the Reds.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 4:58 PM EST up reply actions  

I dunno, man.

I’m going on nothing but my own guts and intuition here but I think Madson might (at worst) drop off to 2010-2011 CoCo levels while CoCo could be a hot Canadian mess this summer.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 4:53 PM EST up reply actions  

I agree that CoCo would have a lower predicted floor in 2012 than Madson.

But I think they’ll both have ERAs from 3.40 – 4.40 while converting about 85% of their save opportunities over roughly 70 innings.

peteysabolovechild

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 5:04 PM EST up reply actions  

Coco is not going to close games for the Blue Jays

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 25, 2012 7:43 PM EST up reply actions  

I read that today.

Gosh, that really makes his off-season bargaining look horrible. He may never get a closer’s job again…

OR…they can trade him at the A-S break for a nice handful of prospects and only end up paying $2MM for a half-season of solid relief.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 25, 2012 8:10 PM EST up reply actions  

not sure if serious

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 5:04 PM EST up reply actions  

Bill James's 2012 predictions:

71 IP – 3.04 ERA – 3.36 FIP – 1.23 WHIP
65 IP – 3.32 ERA – 3.19 FIP – 1.22 WHIP

Can you guess which one is Madson and which one is CoCo?

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 5:08 PM EST up reply actions  

projections are the dumbest things

i honestly don’t know why anyone seriously would use them in an argument (not trying to put you down, just saying that I’m not a fan at all of the projections).

by vottomatic on Jan 24, 2012 5:20 PM EST up reply actions  

Bill James is silly then

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 5:20 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't disagree.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 6:30 PM EST up reply actions  

They have EXTREMELY similar number over the past 4 years regarding ERA, IP, ER, H, HR

to the point where its kinda creepy. But Madson is 5 years younger, strikes out 1.5 more and walks 1.5 less per 9 inn, and has a lower WHIP by .119. If somebody absolutely screams regression based on age and numbers its definitely Coco.

by vottomatic on Jan 24, 2012 5:31 PM EST up reply actions  

did the Reds

really offer him 2 years, $14 million like Fay thought?

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Jan 24, 2012 5:08 PM EST up reply actions  

but I thought he was retiring?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 5:24 PM EST up reply actions  

Anyone thinking of going to Spring Training?

flights to Phoenix are really cheap

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 5:05 PM EST reply actions  

Yeah, I'm considering it.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 5:09 PM EST up reply actions  

Fuck!

You’re not lying…$148 from DEN to PHX.

That’s tempting.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 5:11 PM EST up reply actions  

RR ST invasion!

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 5:21 PM EST up reply actions  

I'll seriously consider a weekend trip down there.

I’ve got family in Scottsdale I need to see, too.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 5:37 PM EST up reply actions  

that'd sure be swell

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 5:39 PM EST up reply actions  

I've got to sort out where I'm living first, though.

Can’t be living out of a suitcase in someone else’s house for too much longer.

Once I get that down, I’ll check it out.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 5:41 PM EST up reply actions  

:(

you guys are being geographicalist!

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 5:29 PM EST up reply actions  

No

I’m being geographically jealous.

/kicks snow

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 5:29 PM EST up reply actions  

/falls in snow

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 5:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Hope you've had your shots

Mgr., Red Reporter

"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."

by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Jan 24, 2012 5:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Whataya say, RijoSabes?

Care to arbitrate GBSAMBB and my avatar bet?

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 5:33 PM EST up reply actions  

And by 'snow' he means... brown grass and mud under a shadowless grey sky.

O! H!

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 5:35 PM EST up reply actions  

that bad, huh?

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 24, 2012 5:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah. But it is just sweater-weather cool/chilly today.

Not bone-marrow-freezing bitch-cold windy with shit sleet slush on the sidewalks.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 5:48 PM EST up reply actions  

I still have a patch of snow in my yard

where I piled it up shoveling the drive on Saturday. At least, it was there this morning.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 7:16 PM EST up reply actions  

but the rental car.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 5:26 PM EST up reply actions  

I have yet to say anything in this thread about Oswalt.

But I’d be entirely on board. Oswalt might be a top three starter on this team. Latos, Cueto, ???

Cincy Jungle: Where the Rocky Mountains are in the Pacific Ocean

by sexsalad on Jan 24, 2012 6:27 PM EST reply actions  

a rotation of Latos, Cueto, Leake, Oswalt, and Arroyo would be Titstacular.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 6:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Yep, and just imagine if Chapman ended up ready to start by June.

Cincy Jungle: Where the Rocky Mountains are in the Pacific Ocean

by sexsalad on Jan 24, 2012 6:32 PM EST up reply actions  

if he really, really was ready by June

you could use Bailey as a heck of a trade piece at the deadline for whatever it is we still need.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 6:35 PM EST up reply actions  

i don't know about that

I don’t think Chapman can pitch into September as a starter, he has never pitched a full professional season as a starter, so he will probably start to tire in August, like Mike Leake did two years ago, and even if his performance doesn’t fall off the team would probably be wise to not push him through September.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 6:38 PM EST up reply actions  

oh, i thought that was predicated on Chapman being ready.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 9:16 PM EST up reply actions  

well yeah, that too.

Latos, Cueto, Oswalt, Leake, Arroyo to start the season in the rotation, with Bailey the long man and Chapman in AAA.

If Chapman’s actually ready by mid-season, and Arroyo is still doing what he’s been doing, you can bring Chapman up, bump Arroyo to the long-man role, and use Bailey as bait to get whatever it is the Reds need.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 9:21 PM EST up reply actions  

I really hate the fact that Arroyo is here.

With that contract he won’t be going anywhere, so the fifth spot is guaranteed to be locked down by a guy who sucks.

Cincy Jungle: Where the Rocky Mountains are in the Pacific Ocean

by sexsalad on Jan 24, 2012 6:38 PM EST up reply actions  

he may not suck

he deserves a chance to prove himself, plenty of guys his age bounce back, he is 35, it isn’t like he is 40.

Assuming Latos and Cueto make a legitimate one-two punch, and Leake puts up numbers similar to what he did in 2011, really all Arroyo needs to do is put up an ERA+ around 90 or so and the Reds will be fine.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 6:44 PM EST up reply actions  

and honestly speaking

the season Arroyo puked out last year isn’t really that bad for an NL 5th starter. If he does that again with the premise that he’s the 5th starter (meaning about 30 starts instead of 36), and he gets 175 innings from that spot, that’s not the end of the world.

It’s depending on him (and giving him those additional 6 starts) that gets us in trouble.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 8:46 PM EST up reply actions  

I was wondering about this when we were configuring the rotation for Dusty in some other thread.

We’re all hoping (and even assuming) that BA will be better this year. But if he’s not, the Reds are going to have to get creative with his innings. And moving him to the number five spot might not be creative enough.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 8:56 PM EST up reply actions  

Although if he really sucks as bad to start the season as he did all of last season

maybe they can move him to the ’pen during the stretch run and the piece that needs to be acquired at the deadline is that additional starter we need.

That’s the only reason why I don’t love going after Oswalt right now…while it would be a solid move in theory, it may well take up any additional money we have that could go to a deadline deal. And even if Oswalt signs elsewhere, he’ll be signing a one year deal, and if he proves he’s healthy enough we can always try to trade for him (or any other pitcher on the block) when the time comes.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 9:02 PM EST up reply actions  

So, it's mid-January. Let's play this game..

Aside from Oswalt, just who is going to be available to be a rent-a-vet on a contender down the stretch?

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 9:17 PM EST up reply actions  

also

Shaun Marcum Zach Greinke (although in division could be tricky) if the Brewers struggle.
Matt Cain and/or Tim LIncecum (If the Giants think it is hopeless to sign one or both and are out of the race).
Annibal Sanchez (if the Marlins suck and think they have no chance of keeping him).
Colby Lewis is in the finale year of his contract, but the Rangers look to be good again this season.
Brandon McCarthy is in the final year of his contract with the A’s, gotta think he is available.
Edwin Jackson if he ends up with a one year deal, if I have payroll available and think I will suck, I may want Jackson just to flip him for somebody in need of pitching at the deadline.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 9:22 PM EST up reply actions  

Is Jeremy Guthrie in the last year of a contract?

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 9:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Cain and McCarthy jump out of that list to me. For some reason.

Seems like it would take a lot to win a bidding war and get Cain.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 9:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Well, it's relative.

Do you want to keep Votto, or do you want Cain?

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 9:32 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm not talking about extending him. Just getting him to help win the league this year.

Yoss is implying that Cain is in the last year or two of his contract?

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 9:34 PM EST up reply actions  

the last year, yeah.

But what I’m saying is that I don’t think there’s any way we can afford the prospect cost to trade him AND not sign him to an extension.

If he’s available at all, somebody will throw an arm and a leg to get him, and we’re broke enough on prospects that I don’t think we can empty out the rest just to see them walk away. Latos will at least be around for 4 years.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 9:37 PM EST up reply actions  

Gotcha.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 9:51 PM EST up reply actions  

Garza may well be available at the deadline, too.

He’s in his last year before FA.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 10:10 PM EST up reply actions  

Matt Garza?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 10:21 PM EST up reply actions  

Oh, sorry

I thought he was talking about Hiram Garza.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 10:25 PM EST up reply actions  

Who is Hiram Garza?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 10:27 PM EST up reply actions  

who is that?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 10:32 PM EST up reply actions  

and who is that?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 10:35 PM EST up reply actions  

The dude holding the camera

while a couple of Bearcat basketball players ball your mom.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 10:37 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

those guys

that is a weird statement

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 10:37 PM EST up reply actions  

Ever seen a grown man naked?

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Jan 24, 2012 10:34 PM EST up reply actions  

does he?

I must have been kinfyewwwesd.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 10:22 PM EST up reply actions  

I read some Cubs fan speculation that Theo will move either Dempster or Garza before Spring Training.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 10:28 PM EST up reply actions  

That wouldn't surprise me

but I don’t think there are many willing to pay premium prices right now.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 10:29 PM EST up reply actions  

True.

Right now I guess every MLB team either thinks they’ve made the necessary improvements and they’re ready to go or they know they’re rebuilding and the moves they need to make don’t need to be made just yet.

Or both.

YEAH, BABY!!! SUCK IT, NL CENTRAL!!!

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 10:44 PM EST up reply actions  

for what it is worth

According to MLBNetwork The Giants and Lincecum are a mile apart on an extension right now, but the Giants are pretty positive they can keep Cain.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 9:39 PM EST up reply actions  

Timmy just inked a 2 year, $40.5 million contract to buy out his last 2 arb years.

And apparently it includes a limited no-trade clause.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 9:43 PM EST up reply actions  

what?

But MLBTR says the Giants and Lincecum agreed to a 2-year deal. $40.5MM

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Jan 24, 2012 9:43 PM EST up reply actions  

well i misunderstood what i heard on tv this morning

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 9:44 PM EST up reply actions  

and with their issues at 3B

maybe they’d be interested in one of Frazier/END, along with Bailey and whatever else.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 9:23 PM EST up reply actions  

Over Christmas, my Dad suggested that he thought Walt might somehow be able

to trade Arroyo. When I mentioned the contract structure thing, he dismissed it and said any team acquiring him could be given a window to negotiate a new deal.

I don’t know how these things work. Is that possible?

by the finest muffins on Jan 24, 2012 6:55 PM EST up reply actions  

sure,

but why on earth would anyone take Arroyo?

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 24, 2012 7:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Actually, it's not really possible

I mean, it is possible that someone could negotiate a new extension with him for more money. But Arroyo is not going to re-structure his contract for less money. That will never happen.

So no, TFM, it’s not really possible.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 7:19 PM EST up reply actions  

even if he wanted to

The union would not allow it.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Jan 24, 2012 7:40 PM EST up reply actions  

yep

it sets a bad precedent.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 8:06 PM EST up reply actions  

Hang on, to clarify--

Arroyo’s contract with the Reds includes deferred money, which would convert to up-front money if he’s traded, right? It’s the deferred/not deferred part I was talking about renegotiating, not the overall number of dollars.

Honestly, I don’t really know what I’m talking about…

by the finest muffins on Jan 24, 2012 8:54 PM EST up reply actions  

i doubt Arroyo does anything to help the Reds get rid of him

he does not seem to like trades.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 9:46 PM EST up reply actions  

so what happened with A-Rod?

The story we were all told was that the MLBPA vetoed the deal that would have sent him to the Red Sox, and he had no say in the matter. Is that not true?

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Jan 24, 2012 9:06 PM EST up reply actions  

IIRC, the Red Sox were trying to make AROD

a profit participant in merchandising or some other revenue stream, which violated existing agreements and got potentially messy were he to be traded. It also set some odd & messy precedents, methinks.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 24, 2012 9:10 PM EST up reply actions  

no doubt it did

But the reason they gave was that he would be taking a voluntary paycut. From Wikipedia:

The Rangers initially agreed to a trade with the Boston Red Sox, but the MLBPA (Major League Baseball Players Association) vetoed the deal because it called for a voluntary reduction in salary by Rodriguez.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Jan 24, 2012 9:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Less money certainly seems like a messy precedent.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 25, 2012 3:07 PM EST up reply actions  

This BP article seems like a really good reference.

Link. A-Rod’s restructuring apparently lessened the total value of the deal, and I think that’s why the MLBPA vetoed. It’s not 100% clear when they have the power to veto though.

by andromache on Jan 24, 2012 9:11 PM EST up reply actions  

thanks, that is interesting
Under the CBA, the union negotiates virtually all terms and conditions of employment on behalf of the players. Individual players may only negotiate (1) a salary above the minimum, and (2) special terms which actually or potentially provide additional benefits to the player. Any term inconsistent with these provisions is void even if the club and player agree to it, unless the MLBPA approves the term.

That sounds pretty clear to me. As the article puts it:

Since the CBA pre-empts all inconsistent contract terms, Rodriguez couldn’t unilaterally give back his guaranteed money any more than he could contractually agree to report two weeks early for spring training or stipulate that he wouldn’t be paid for time on the DL. He could only reduce the amount of his contract (a) if the MLBPA consented to the reduction, or (b) if the reductions were offset by nonmonetary concessions of roughly equivalent value.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Jan 24, 2012 9:20 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

I disagree that "nonmonetary concessions of roughly equivalent value" are clear

If you read below the part you quoted, the author goes on to write that the Union was fine with a paycut – just not the amount ($12M) that Boston and Rodriguez agreed to. The concessions offered by Boston are what Petey is referring to above. I don’t recall what they were exactly, but the Union felt that it wasn’t sufficient to justify an eight-figure paycut (even though Rodriguez obviously did).

Ultimately this was up to Rodriguez. But being eager to please, he’s the last guy who’d want to piss off his Union:

“In the spirit of cooperation, I advised the Red Sox I am willing to restructure my contract, but only within the guidelines prescribed by union officials,” Rodriguez said in a statement to the media. "I recognize the principle involved, and fully support the need to protect the interests of my fellow players. If my transfer to the Red Sox is to occur, it must be done with consideration of the interests of all major league players, not just one.

To me, this sounds like Rodriguez/Boras wanted to let the Union know that they were playing nice-nice (“spirit of cooperation”; “recognize the principle involved”) but that they weren’t bound by any Union decision, and were instead agreeing to go along with mere “guidelines.” Legally, I think that the Union’s argument that the “nonmonetary concessions” were not of “roughly equivalent value” – even though two sophisticated parties negotiated for them – is a loser. But practically, the Union’s position imposed a big obstacle to getting this deal done, and Rodriguez didn’t want to fight for it.

by ken on Jan 24, 2012 11:17 PM EST up reply actions  

i think he will be 2013 if he isn't this season.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 10:59 PM EST up reply actions  

I think he gets it early this season

Cots says he has 9 years, 150 days, so he’d about 40 days away from 10/5.

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Jan 25, 2012 9:38 AM EST up reply actions  

I wanted to trade Leake for a pitcher who's name starts with a T

and Cueto for Sheilds, so the rotation would be LATOS.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 6:39 PM EST up reply actions  

that also means we have to get Oswalt, of course.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 6:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Yep.

This conversation has gotten very circuitous.

by the finest muffins on Jan 24, 2012 6:56 PM EST up reply actions  

I got a great big smile

when I read teh Fay say that Walt and Oswalt’s agent have been in contact. If you can get him on club-friendly terms, make it so! Beats the hell out of facing him, particularly in a Cards uniform.

"I'd walk through hell in a gasoline suit to play baseball" - Pete Rose

by Officer Dibble on Jan 24, 2012 6:29 PM EST reply actions  

So 500+ comments in 6 hours huh?

I don’t even need to read this to know the words “gay” and “Obama” appear multiple times with a couple of mod star downs included.

@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!

by Dave from Louisville on Jan 24, 2012 6:48 PM EST reply actions  

pictured left to right

FordhamRam, BK, jch, ….jch

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Jan 25, 2012 7:46 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

I wanted to post this up-thread as a response to Alan's Obama discussion

but it kept getting cut off because the conversation is too far to the right. So here goes:

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 8:55 PM EST reply actions  

"Bloomberg knew it. Gimme four more years. I got this."

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 9:22 PM EST up reply actions  

shit

makes no difference. There’s them, and there’s us. Carlin had it right.

by Howie Feltersnatch on Jan 24, 2012 9:45 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

rec'd

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 9:48 PM EST up reply actions  

Oh, I'm not saying he or anyone is going to make it better for Howie or any of us.

I’m saying that things were falling apart and now they’re being put back together and the planet’s kazillionaire investor titans prefer that kind of thing. (And there’s one particular titan who could have spent a few billion dollars to buy Obama’s second term out from under him. But he didn’t. Because he had every reason to expect that the guy was gonna get it all humming again.)

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 10:04 PM EST up reply actions  

now that's funny

starting with the voting for the FISA amendments as a candidate to immunize the telecom industry, Obama has only continued to contribute to the rot that’s infected the political class since at least the 60’s.

by Howie Feltersnatch on Jan 24, 2012 10:20 PM EST up reply actions  

Seriously?

It’s been rotten for way longer than that, friend.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 24, 2012 10:26 PM EST up reply actions  

I agree

but immunity for breaking the law really became entrenched with Nixon, hence my selective start point.

It can’t be understated how badly the Obama DOJ has handled the torture issue, the illegal forclosure issue, and now assassination of us citizens.

by Howie Feltersnatch on Jan 24, 2012 10:35 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

It's all Gerald Ford's fault!

(Now that I think of it, I may have once heard this thesis presented on BookTV.)

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 10:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Actually

the assassinating US citizens is all Obamas fault.

by Howie Feltersnatch on Jan 24, 2012 10:43 PM EST up reply actions  

Hey, that sucks. I'm not gonna lie.

But a couple of years ago every ATM in the country was about to go Enron and Barry’s guys worked through that so I’m a little bit grateful.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 10:47 PM EST up reply actions  

As in Bernanke and Summers

We might have been screwed, but at least we’re still alive.

And the rich get richer.

by Howie Feltersnatch on Jan 24, 2012 11:08 PM EST up reply actions  

i cannot believe the hatred at Obama by redecks over things that are not real

When I briefly auditioned living in Virgina, I was home when the cable was installed and the cable guy noticed all my books and asked if I was a history buff, and I said no I just finished my Master’s in history. He noticed my accent and asked if I learned history up north? I said I learned at Loyola University Chicago.

He then said I hate it when you Yanks try to teach history, you guys know nothing about the Civil War. And then went into this tirade about how Obama is a damned Muslim, and Barry Enright is his real name, Barack Obama is his Muslim name, and said that we are paying for having a Muslim President, and we better save ourself and not reelect him.

It was fucking nuts.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 24, 2012 10:54 PM EST up reply actions  

It's weird being from Cincinnati

and now living in Nashville that I never heard so much from the former, but living where I do now regarding the Civil War being called the “War Between the States” or “War of Northern Aggression”

by Howie Feltersnatch on Jan 24, 2012 11:02 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Hell

my wife’s HS had 3 proms: one white, one black, and one other. Tipton County, TN. Class of ’99

by Howie Feltersnatch on Jan 24, 2012 11:04 PM EST up reply actions  

I didn't realize that shit still want on

I thought that stopped in the 70s.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 25, 2012 12:15 AM EST up reply actions  

me too

i was stunned. as far as I know, it is still active in 2012 in Tipton Co, TN

by Howie Feltersnatch on Jan 25, 2012 12:17 AM EST up reply actions  

wow

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 25, 2012 11:37 AM EST up reply actions  

I remember this story in the news about a segregated prom in Georgia in 2009!

It’s clearly hurtful to the kids. What is wrong with those parents??

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Jan 25, 2012 12:11 PM EST up reply actions  

The thing is.. many parents are no wiser than the average clueless idiot.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 25, 2012 12:20 PM EST up reply actions  

ha good story

i worked on an election campaign in 2008 going door to door endorsing dems. One guy i met said he was a lifelong dem, but wasn’t going to vote for Obama cuz he was a muslim. This was right around the Jeremiah Wright story breaking out. I asked him “what about that story about Obama’s pastor? That was his pastor, that means he’s a Christian.” Of course this is no way dissuaded the man.

by cokane on Jan 24, 2012 11:14 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, that's pretty dumb.

I could see not voting for him because of his whack-job pastor. But, because he is Muslim, or because you have the false belief that he is Muslim? C’mon Man!

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 11:17 PM EST up reply actions  

The best part?

I’m pretty well convinced that Obama is an Atheist. Which is probably way, way worse to them than a Muslim.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 25, 2012 9:24 AM EST up reply actions  

WHY THE HELL IS THIS NOT GREEN?????

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 25, 2012 11:38 AM EST up reply actions  

probably because most people avoid Political Reporter

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 25, 2012 1:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Nobody gets me, I'm so very alone

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 25, 2012 1:47 PM EST up reply actions  

me too

sad that politicians feel the need to pander to the sky genie crowd.

by Daedalus on Jan 26, 2012 4:16 PM EST up reply actions  

Barry Enright?

Isn’t he a mediocre pitcher for the D-Backs?

/too late for this comment to appear anywhere near the original’d

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 25, 2012 1:36 PM EST up reply actions  

Again, I'm not at all saying that Obama is not 'of the system.'

I guess I’m being too cheeky.

…Shit was messed up. Bright, talented team has been working on it. Things are improving. Improving slowly (or yet to improve) for the majority of us. But if you’re a big old fatcat you know you and every other fatcat now has better options available to you then you did in when Dick and Dubya walked away from the mess they made.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 10:37 PM EST up reply actions  

and that's the problem

we are (of the system), and they aren’t.

Next time I get pulled over I’m going to try the “Look forward, not behind” defense and see where it get’s me.

by Howie Feltersnatch on Jan 24, 2012 10:49 PM EST up reply actions  

Who are Obama and Romney's biggest donors?

Big investment banks…as long as the major banks have their bought and paid for man, we’re screwed.

"There's only one god, and his name is Death. And what do we say to Death? Not today!" --- Syrio Forel, Game of Thrones

by cesarhernandez on Jan 24, 2012 11:02 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

youmagnificentbastard

Can I be in charge of music? Even though I hate almost everything made today.

by Howie Feltersnatch on Jan 24, 2012 11:21 PM EST up reply actions  

by all means, you're in charge of timely animations and sweet tunes.

And, lest I forget, ’nukkah’s my Secretary of the Treasury…because we all know anything he does prints GREEN.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 11:26 PM EST up reply actions  

I have, and always will contend

that Snatch is always genius, be it Blazing Saddles, Guy Ritchie, or Teagan Presley.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 11:34 PM EST up reply actions  

oh, and Howie

if you found a way to get this as my speech-music, there’s no way I don’t get elected!

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 24, 2012 11:38 PM EST up reply actions  

By the way

There hasn’t been a bearded president since Benjamin Harrison (1889-1893), and there hasn’t been a bearded VP since Charles Fairbanks (1905-1909, under Teddy Roosevelt).

What the fuck’s with that? Presidential Ice Beard it is!

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 25, 2012 12:01 AM EST up reply actions  

dick

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 25, 2012 12:16 AM EST up reply actions  

how about his David Axlerod or Karl Rove?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 25, 2012 12:22 AM EST up reply actions  

Yossi's my go-to for Secretary of Labor...obviously.

As for Commerce, I’ll go with F-Ram. Dude created RIWIAW, and that’s as creative as we get around here.

And as for my campaign manager, Slyde gets the nod. Dude doesn’t miss a beat, and I’d trust him to optimize my daily lineup.

That’s electability, holmes.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 25, 2012 12:29 AM EST up reply actions  

Dang.

I’m realizing Karl Rove was the music maker. Horrible horrible music, that people became fans of. He was the John Bell of the administration.

by Howie Feltersnatch on Jan 25, 2012 12:35 AM EST up reply actions  

Oh goody

I get to do all of the work to get your ass elected and then get tossed aside afterward. Yay.

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Jan 25, 2012 1:49 PM EST up reply actions  

You could write another book, Hemingway!

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 25, 2012 2:10 PM EST up reply actions  

see, THIS is what I'm talking about!

It’s your eloquent delivery, Chuck.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jan 25, 2012 12:22 PM EST up reply actions  

have you seen Presidential press secretaries?

they are not eloquent.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 25, 2012 12:22 PM EST up reply actions  

*Yo

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 25, 2012 12:35 PM EST up reply actions  

Hey, muffins.

A neighbor of mine is doing a radio show that for some reason I thought you might enjoy.

http://www.nochefsallowed.com/services/on-the-radio/

I haven’t listened yet but it evidently streams live at 5pm on Wednesdays so check it out if you’re willing and able.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 25, 2012 12:47 PM EST up reply actions  

Cool, thanks for sharing!

I’m pretty much always still at work at 5:00, but as long as I’m at my desk I could give it a listen. Anything with the phrase “hail to kale” is okay in my book.

by the finest muffins on Jan 25, 2012 1:29 PM EST up reply actions  

anyone who dislikes kale

is doomed to a short life of greasiness.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 25, 2012 2:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Oh, man.

I just conquered raw broccoli (with hummus) and added roasted cauliflower to my repertoire and now you’re guilt-shaming me with friggin’ kale?

Howabout lemongrass? Can I just go with lemongrass instead?

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 25, 2012 2:50 PM EST up reply actions  

My wife made them once.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 25, 2012 10:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Not a fan.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 26, 2012 2:01 PM EST up reply actions  

Also, why raw broccoli?

It’s so much better cooked ever so slightly. And kale is much more flavorful than cauliflower.

by the finest muffins on Jan 25, 2012 7:02 PM EST up reply actions  

kale > broccoli > cauliflower

though cauliflower done well is something to behold.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 25, 2012 7:14 PM EST up reply actions  

bacon wrapped asparagus is divine

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 26, 2012 8:14 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

FTFY

bacon wrapped asparagus anything is divine

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 26, 2012 2:01 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

very true

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Jan 26, 2012 3:09 PM EST up reply actions  

Raw broccoli dipped in that one hummus with the awesome really spicy red hot 'salsa' in the middle..

is my favorite healthy thing to grab right out of the refrigerator. No pot. No knife. No stove. No dishes. Fast and cheap and just a tad exotic without being naughty.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 25, 2012 10:44 PM EST up reply actions  

You must be talking about Sabra hummus.

It’s in a league of its own, though I prefer the roasted red pepper to the spicy pepper one.

by the finest muffins on Jan 25, 2012 10:56 PM EST up reply actions  

I hate kale.

Are you saying I’m short and greasy? Cuz…that may be accurate, actually.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Jan 25, 2012 8:11 PM EST up reply actions  

let he who is without height cast the first stone

(just not very far, mind you)

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Jan 25, 2012 10:46 PM EST up reply actions  

I think you might mean "she."

This seems to be a place with very tall men and very short women.

by the finest muffins on Jan 25, 2012 10:57 PM EST up reply actions  

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.

by Madville on Jan 27, 2012 2:52 AM EST up reply actions  

I'm not rec'ing this, despite it's awesomeness

out of protest for not being invited to the cabinet party.

aww fuck it, rec’d anyway

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Jan 25, 2012 1:41 PM EST up reply actions  

This just in.

Do not watch The Human Centipede 2.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Jan 24, 2012 10:03 PM EST reply actions  

Is that what you're calling Gingrich's campaign this time around?

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jan 24, 2012 10:05 PM EST up reply actions  

So, who's the fucking little baby that got offended

at the picture I posted about counting to potato? Someone must have flagged it, because it’s gone now. Jesus, folks. It’s a blog about baseball where we can have a good laugh. It’s not a cancer cure forum.

Wear something sexy to my funeral.

by Pops Daniels on Jan 25, 2012 9:45 AM EST reply actions  

I deleted it because I didn't want to see a picture of a Down syndrome kid getting made fun of every time I opened this thread

Shoot me an email if you have a problem with it

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Jan 25, 2012 11:52 AM EST up reply actions  

All settled.

Wear something sexy to my funeral.

by Pops Daniels on Jan 25, 2012 4:18 PM EST up reply actions  

Perhaps a pop-up with a brief explanation would be a good idea when posts are deleted.

That way things are settled in private.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 25, 2012 4:22 PM EST up reply actions  

But it doesn't have to be

it could be utilized to tell people things privately, it doesn’t have to be used for punishment.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Jan 25, 2012 4:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Warnings aren't punishments. They're warnings.

And normally when people get them, they make an effort to re-litigate the issue on the site instead of in private.

by FordhamRam on Jan 25, 2012 4:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Everybody feels entitled to a jury of their peers

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Jan 25, 2012 8:00 PM EST up reply actions  

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.

by Madville on Jan 27, 2012 2:54 AM EST up reply actions  

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