Are you ready for some football?
by BubbaFan on Jan 14, 2012 5:44 PM EST
Email
PrintIt appears the New Orleans Saints are not. :-þ
No one else has made us a football thread today, so I'm making one. It looks like the Saints vs. 49ers is not going to be very exciting. Unless your idea of exciting is setting a postseason record for turnovers. Hopefully, the second game will be more interesting. Brady vs. Tebow - it can't possibly live up to the hype, but it's gotta be better than 17-0 in the first quarter.
Joke to fill up the word count:
God asks Peyton Manning first: "What do you believe?" Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans." God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left.
Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, "What do you believe?" Tony says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields." God is greatly moved by Tony's sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right.
Finally, God turns to Brett Favre: "And you, Brett, what do you believe?" Brett replies, "I believe you're in my seat."
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holy cow
It’s a game after all.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Yup, I feel dirty
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
I don't mind Tom Brady
even when he isn’t playing against Tim Tebow.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Root for Tebow
b/c the last thing we need is the whole NE region gloating again about the fucking Patriots
The ends justify the means
I hate the Pats
But I hate the religious zealots who insist that somehow God cares about Tebow playing football even more.
darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.
by Hawkeye00 on Jan 14, 2012 8:23 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I would rather deal with the religious zealots than fucking annoying Patriots fans
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jan 14, 2012 8:27 PM EST up reply actions
I admit, it's a close one
I would not be adverse to DerekH’s meteor taking out Foxboro and it’s current occupants.
darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.
New England is godless anyway, didn't you know.
They elect Democrats.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jan 14, 2012 9:03 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
don't have to tell me
I feel like my vote is wasted in every election..
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jan 15, 2012 10:58 AM EST up reply actions
Unreal
I can’t believe the Saints are leading now.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Saints will at least get a FG out of this
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jan 14, 2012 7:52 PM EST up reply actions
turned out to be a pretty exciting game after all
A bit sloppy, but not boring.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
*
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jan 14, 2012 9:05 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
I don't know if you replied to the right comment
But I love it anyway
The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer
No, not the right comment, sorry.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jan 14, 2012 9:10 PM EST up reply actions
OMFG
I don’t believe it. The Saints are going to win. Five turnovers, but they’re going to win.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Quick, have her predict that a meteor won't fall on Foxboro stadium!
The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer
christ on a cracker
What a crazy game.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Christ and his crackers are at the other game, I think
This 49ers game is good old-fashioned non-religious football.
Well, other than the Saints.
darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.
by Hawkeye00 on Jan 14, 2012 8:21 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Absolutely. What an awesome game
Remember when Alex Smith was a huge draft bust?
darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.
I'm sure the 9ers still wish they had drafted Rodgers
But not as much, today
The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer
he's still a huge draft bust
he was the #1 overall pick, and the 49ers have just now gotten him to the level of a passable qb.
he’s still in the bottom half of starters in the NFL.
i hope peyton manning winds up qb’ing in san fran next season
Smith has had an unfortunate career thanks to injuries and a series of incompetent offensive coordinators
Though that’s all moot when you consider the 49ers could have drafted Aaron Rodgers.
Dumb pick.
How reasonable is it that a commercial will make me buy a brand of soda I hate?
ZERO!
Go Colts Dammit!
that's what I thought about the Saints-Niners game
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Yeah, but the saints and 9ers were evenly matched
Not so much here
darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.
Jesus Christ Claims Tim Tebow Not Ready To Be NFL Starter
DENVER—Jesus Christ, noted Son of God and football analyst proclaimed Monday that second-year Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow lacks the pocket presence, arm strength, and passing accuracy necessary to be a starter in the NFL. "Tim’s place is at the right hand of the other backups on the bench, and his earthly works show that he deserves to dwell there all the days of his life," said Lord and Savior of all mankind, adding, ""It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of the needle than for Tim Tebow to complete a pass against the Cover-2".
The Onion, of course
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Jan 14, 2012 8:50 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I read that one, love it
I liked the headline they had awhile back that said something like, “God thinks Lions mocking Tebow is fucking hilarious.”
darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.
But, I'll take a 3 and out, fer sure.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jan 14, 2012 9:09 PM EST up reply actions
21-7. Hell yes.
Why hath God forsaken Timmy in the divisional round?
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
game's not over yet
You know Timmy wins at the very end, when all hope seems lost.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
If he comes back from 6 scores down, I'll consider a deity.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jan 14, 2012 9:24 PM EST up reply actions
holy cow
That was a hell of a pass.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Yeah, the man is good at his job.
Conservative America should take note of a man with skill.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jan 14, 2012 9:48 PM EST up reply actions
Not gonna happen
He’s pretty open about trundle bedding supermodels he isn’t married to.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 14, 2012 10:17 PM EST up reply actions
Not looking good for Denver
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Not so much
God must be seriously pissed at Tebow for something,
darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.
Worshipping a false idol I'd guess
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Tebow wants me to think?????
Fuck, then I’ll have to consider the ideological fallacy of deity worship.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jan 14, 2012 9:53 PM EST up reply actions
Tebow's first half numbers 3-7, 48 yrds.
The biblical reference for Ecclesiastes 3: 7-48 deals with humility and hypocrisy. It was supposedly spoken in first person by King David.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jan 14, 2012 10:06 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
Brady's en fuego tonight
It’s going to take a miracle for Tebow to pull this one out.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Ha!
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jan 14, 2012 10:17 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Hopefully Belichick won't call off the dogs too soon.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Jan 14, 2012 10:19 PM EST up reply actions
Tebow's never pulled out in his life
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jan 15, 2012 11:01 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Well
They are both left-handed, so there’s that.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 14, 2012 10:20 PM EST up reply actions
Oh, and the Niners won today
So there’s that, too.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 14, 2012 10:21 PM EST up reply actions
Magic underwear!
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jan 14, 2012 10:22 PM EST up reply actions
he got married
in the Mormon temple in Hawaii that’s by my parents’ house.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Your folks are still in Hawaii?
Why the hell aren’t you?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 14, 2012 10:33 PM EST up reply actions
'cause I'm an idiot
That’s why.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Jan 14, 2012 10:38 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
They're both white, and young at the time of the comparison?
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Jan 14, 2012 10:24 PM EST up reply actions
Stupid football! Be more entertaining!
Go Colts Dammit!
by Ram27 on Jan 14, 2012 10:25 PM EST reply actions 4 recs
I'm loving this.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jan 14, 2012 10:29 PM EST up reply actions
Most passing yards allowed?
Guh. I forgot how bad football analysis was. It’s even worse than baseball analysis.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 14, 2012 10:32 PM EST reply actions
boy, was I ever wrong about today's games
The first game was by far the more exciting.
Unless that aforementioned miracle materializes in the final seconds of the 4th quarter.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
uh, boy
Broncos aren’t fooling anyone tonight.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
now Brady's just showing off
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Good golly
That was some good ol’ throwin’ and catchin’.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Jan 14, 2012 10:52 PM EST up reply actions
There is nothing more exciting to see a young whippersnapper get schooled in front of God and Family by Tom Brady
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
Oh and:
The difference between the Broncos and Jesus? The Broncos were still dead after three quarters.
I was open all game and the kid never threw me a single pass…Kids!!!
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
by Madville on Jan 15, 2012 1:02 AM EST reply actions 5 recs
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