Red Reposter - Everybody's linking for the weekend
- Ol' Hoss takes the mound tonight in Colorado
It's been a somewhat disappointing season for Homer Bailey, but he can strengthen his claim to a 2012 rotation spot with a strong finish. That starts tonight at Coors Field. Hopefully the homer-prone Homer keeps it in the park. Tonight's game is also notable for giving us a glimpse at two potential stars in the making behind the plate - Devin Mesoraco and Wilin Rosario. Like Meso, Rosario made his debut this past week. - Ol' Man Luckhaupt writes about ranking the all-time Reds in the Enquirer
You've probably seen the Enquirer's Top 100 list, which, believe it or not, generated disagreement about the nature of rankings and valuation. Here, the writer formerly but not formally known as Slyde talks about ranking a guy like Joey Votto, who plays a non-premium position and hopefully has his best years ahead of him: "Basically, the best way to look at Votto is that he has already had two years of about 6 Q [WAR] as he moves into his prime. Part of the reason he doesn't rate as well as others on the list is because he plays first base. Even if he was a negative-fielding second baseman, he'd be worth about a point more (i.e. one extra win per year) than he gets for playing first base." Here, John Erardi talks about WAR ["Q"] and where it ranks some notable Reds. - Lil' Joe is ready to take his chicken flap to a different stage
From OMG Reds: Know for his "Chicken Flap" batting stance routine, Hall of Famer Joe Morgan will be leading the throngs of herrens und frauens in the Chicken Dance next Saturday at Oktoberfest-Zinzinnati. Synchronize your Swatches and make sure you're at Fountain Square at 1:30pm Saturday, September 17 for it then that "Little Joe" will be presiding over what has become know as the "World's Largest Chicken Dance." - Shut up! Lutz carries Dayton to Game 1 victory
Donald Lutz went 3-for-4 yesterday with a homer and three RBIs to lead Dayton to a 7-3 win over the Lansing Lugnuts. Billy the base stealing kid was 2-for-3 with two RBIs, a walk and a run scored, and Jefry Sierra went 2-for-3 with a double, two RBIs. SP and new FO favorite Daniel Corcino went six mathematically clean innings, allowing two runs on six hits and two walks while striking out six. This was the opener of the best-of-3 series. Game 2 is today in Lansing at Cooley Law Stadium. Apparently, Cooley High was unavailable. - RLN takes a look at Reds' patches
This year the Reds have honored Sparky with a black patch with his name, but there have been several other Reds patches over the years, including Willard Hershberger, Powell Crosley, Big Klu, and Nuxy. - There are grumblings about holdups in the supposed Astros sale
Here, MLBTR links an article saying that the buyer, Jim Crane, has balked at moving his club to the AL as requested by Selig. But the highly credible Biz of Baseball's Maury Brown says that's not the case. There are several minor issues to deal with, but Maury thinks that "Jim Crane will likely be approved as the new owner of the Houston Astros. He (and Drayton McLane) will likely to have to wait a bit longer, possibly until as late as the next quarterly owners in November. But, whether or not Crane decides he's coming along for the "Astros to the AL West" or not, it's not the issue that's holding up his approval with the owners." - Dames on Games: Drew Stubbs is teh hawt
After the section break, your Friday tweets courtesy of JCH.
- @MissEnquirer: Happy birthday to @b_ham_3, #Reds prospect, Dayton Dragon and Man of Steal Billy Hamilton.
- @jluckhaupt: Yonder Alonso has a chance to be the first #Reds rookie (min 30 PA) to bat .400. Current high is .384 by Ken Griffey in 1973.
- @jon_bois Sorry everyone, but the world's worst apartment may have belonged to @sorryeveryone. http://bit.ly/ncHpFg
- @DatDudeBP: #YesSir Had a beautiful adventurous #DayOff in #Denver ... Great Outdoors at mountains, a crazy dinner (LOL), & a good offensive @NFL game
- @petershankman: WARNING: DON'T CLICK TWEETS offering free clip of new Nickelback album. They link to free clip of new Nickelback album. (Tx, 'Coop!)
146 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
The Arkansas weatherman tweet should have been included too!
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
Funniest news story of the year.
My favorite quote was, “I don’t know what kind of drugs we were using, but we were crushing them and snorting them”.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Sep 9, 2011 11:51 AM EDT up reply actions
So, that Lutz fella sure can bash.
And what’s Cooley Law doing with their own stadium, anyways?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Yeah, that's what I was wondering
It looks nice. Whoever Cooley was, he must have donated a dump truck of money to the institution.
ahhh, so the city owns it, and Thomas Cooley Law School bought the naming rights.
That makes more sense. I guess the school is going for a Phoenix University approach.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
They're a for profit institution devoted to churning out law school graduates who are ridden with debt and have no business practicing law.
So just like RR
only we don’t make any profit here.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 9, 2011 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, it's hard not to be skeptical
when a school which has exceedingly lenient admissions criteria releases law school rankings that place them as #1 in the nation. It gets worse when you realize a good portion of the ranking takes into account the square footage of the law libraries.
I have been waiting on the Reposter all day.
I’m coming down from my serious coffee buzz, and I am so fucking bored.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
Move Joey to second base!!!!
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
i tweeted about the difficulties of being constipated for 74.5 hours and i still didn't get mentioned?
i just don’t know what it takes to be put in the retweeter.
Ex-lax? Fiber?
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
fiber was not the issue
pain killers were. and the anti-constipation meds don’t seem to have been working.
I'll write him a prescription for six pounders of Milwaukee's Best Ice, he'll be fine
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
i bought a 30 pack of Milwaukee's Best Special Reserve Light once
it was $9.99 for it. cold. i took a drink and couldn’t believe how bad it was, so i had to take another drink. my tastebuds confirmed what i had suspected. i left the other 29 cans at my buddy’s house and never asked about them.
i would rather not drink than drink bad beer.
I break the backs of young children by shattering their dreams.
i was in college
and was therefore dumb. my drinking habits have matured since then.
i am just a pussy
I break the backs of young children by shattering their dreams.
by Yossarian22 on Sep 11, 2011 12:21 AM EDT up reply actions
Suppositories are the way to go for opiate-related constipation
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Sep 9, 2011 1:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Opiate addiction is not for the faint of heart. Or ass.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Sep 9, 2011 1:27 PM EDT up reply actions
I had the same problem.
I had ankle surgery and the constipation was by far the worst part of everything.
I didn’t poop for 4+ days and spent a couple of hours on the toilet with my leg elevated while praying to Jesus to allow me to drop a few in the bucket.
Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself each year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell embellished stories of all their great feats of battle.
I didn't poop for over two weeks once
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I probably shouldn't wade into this
but really?? I thought you;’d need surgery after something like that. You must have been feeling pretty darn bad
Wade on it. It only gets better

Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself each year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell embellished stories of all their great feats of battle.
I feel like that is how much poop you'd have to wade through after waiting for two weeks.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
Jesus Christ
What in the hell are they looking for?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 9, 2011 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions
Their dignity
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Sep 9, 2011 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Barely noticed, actually
It was almost three weeks into basic training and we had a “rap session” with a drill sergeant. He opened up the floor and one of the goofier kids asked “do they really put salt peter in the mashed potatoes?”. It was a valid concern for all of us since no one could remember getting an erection since being there. The drill sergeant’s response was, “I eat the same damned mashed potatoes you idiots do, and my wife’s not complaining….what do you think? Here’s a question for you – how many of you have taken a shit since you’ve been here?” Quickly glancing at each other, we came to the realization that nearly all of us hadn’t taken a dump in 2-3 weeks. The drill sergeant chimed in, “It’s from stress boys, it does weird things to the body. It usually takes 3-4 weeks to figure out which way is up and relax enough to be able to shit and get boners. (<— direct quote)” He was right.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
that's unbelievable
I didn’t realize stress could affect an entire group in such a similar way. Avery colorful quot too, sounds like he must have been an amusing (or maybe scary??) guy
the salt peter made the mashed potatos taste better
I never got a boner at basic, but i never had a problem shitting
Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself each year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell embellished stories of all their great feats of battle.
I had a four wheeler accident in high school and I broke my leg.
I was on morphene until they set it, and they had me on vicodine for about a month. The first week after the accident I don’t think I went. The drugs probably played the part, but it also probably had to do with not being able to eat solid foods. I didn’t have an appetite, and everytime I tried to eat I would get queasy. I think I ate milkshakes the entire time.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
i have to take percocets nightly
not fun. Never looked, how do the two relate?
A Ongreed the Deserving
-coviner's lawful neutral Paladin / Debutante character
I almost didn't poop yesterday.
Then I did.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Sep 9, 2011 12:32 PM EDT up reply actions
Anytime I'm constipated I just go to Waffle House.
"I slyde my boehner into sexsalad...."
Sounds like a johnu1 production. --jch24
Jamie Ramsey
says Marty used the off day to visit the Stanley Hotel. You know, the reputedly haunted hotel that inspired “The Shining.”
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Did he see the guy in the bear suit?
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
That's where Mrs. Creds and I spent our wedding night.
We reenacted the scene where the dead naked woman climbs out of the bathtub.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Don't you mean dead naked guy in a hot tub with a dog collar on?
/Arkansas weatherman’d
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
Chickens don't flap!
There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Arredondo. They were shining there for you and me, for liberty, Arredondo.
that 100 greatest reds list...
it says that Pete Donohue, tied for 55th, had 571 SHUTOUTS.while only compiling a 134-118 record. i guess pitcher wins and losses really are overated.
by Heeringa on Sep 9, 2011 12:49 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Drew STubbs is tall
and nice looking, but I really don’t think he is that hot. Those bloggers seem to think he’s hotter than Joey even which we know is false
That receding hairline is not helping matters.
/pot & kettle’d
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Sep 9, 2011 1:15 PM EDT up reply actions
Joey doesn't make their list because he is Canadian
Canadians get treated like second class citizens here in ’Merica. We should should really do something more to look out for our citizens of all races.
Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself each year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell embellished stories of all their great feats of battle.
I don't either
I still think he looks like Smilin’ Bob, the enzyte guy.
If I didn’t know he was a baseball player, I’d think he was an accountant or something.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
that's what I was thinking
or maybe an accountant turned politician. I wonder if he is better looking in person?
that could be
A lot of people have a charisma in person that isn’t evident in photos or video.
Of course, I’ve seen a lot of him in person (from my above the dugout seats at minor league and spring training games) and I still think he looks like an accountant.
But I guess if he was smiling at me and talking to me, I might be charmed.
I have to say, I was charmed by Todd Frazier’s brother Jeff. Most of the time, the players ignore me, or look at me like they’re wondering if I’m a stalker or something. But Jeff smiled at me, and suddenly, he looked much cuter than his brother.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
is this the 6th thread for discussion of the cardinals/brewers fight?
nyjer isn’t getting a fair shake!
The most underdiscussed aspect of the whole thing
is that Carpenter apparently has a mohawk now. Which is lame.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
.
and a bathtub in arkansas!
A Ongreed the Deserving
-coviner's lawful neutral Paladin / Debutante character
Well, it looks like it.
Watch the video of the “fight” and look closely. It certainly seems like he’s trying to grow one….as a 36 year old.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
I saw that too but forgot to be a smartass about it, he definitely has a mohawk going
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Definitely not something any father should have to explain to his son
by ken on Sep 9, 2011 1:07 PM EDT up reply actions
Is there any doubt that this would be the conversation?
“Dad, why did you shave all the hair off the sides of your head?”
“Shit son, I didn’t shave that hair off, your momma’s thighs did all the work! AMIRITE? nudge nudge wink wink”
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Sep 9, 2011 1:08 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
found an even more obvious shot
from some tumblr account:

looks terrible, but it doesn’t make me ache with hate the way Yadi’s neck tats do
Thats not a mohawk.
Its just a bad haircut someone gave him when he fell asleep in the clubhouse
Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself each year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell embellished stories of all their great feats of battle.
I finally got my comments up on Slyde's and the other story
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
Also, was gonna mention that we'll see both of the young hurlers COL got for Ubaldo
Saturday is Alex White, and Sunday is Drew Pomeranz’s debut. We’ll have Arroyo and Willis going. I believe Arroyo is 3 HRs away from breaking Milton’s team record, incidentally.
Arroyo gives up more home runs before 9:00 than most pitchers do all day
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
He's still got a ways to go to get Blyleven's all-time record
But I think he can do it!
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Sep 9, 2011 1:16 PM EDT up reply actions
The Reds faced White earlier this year in Cleveland
I can’t remember why he only went 3 innings.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Sprained ligament, right middle finger
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
calling WAR "q" is muthafuckin weird
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Sep 9, 2011 1:49 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Its a way to know who is cool and not cool.
First VORP was the cool word.
Then WAR.
Now Q
Only suckers use VORP now
Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself each year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell embellished stories of all their great feats of battle.
The Enquirer changed WAR to prevent Daugherty from making "what is it good for?" jokes
by ken on Sep 9, 2011 2:28 PM EDT up reply actions 9 recs
its a new thing for the hipsters
You wouldn’t understand…
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Sep 9, 2011 2:46 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
action plan
Trade Votto to Cubs for starlin castro and alfonso soriano (cubs eat most of contract). Sign a couple relievers this offseason in FA.
Lineup
SS Castro
2B BP
1B Yonder
RF Bruce
C Mesoraco
3B END
Stubbs
Soriano
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Sep 9, 2011 3:00 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
action plan
Trade Votto to Cubs for starlin castro and alfonso soriano (cubs eat most of contract). Sign a couple relievers this offseason in FA.
Lineup
SS Castro
2B BP
1B Yonder
RF Bruce
C Mesoraco
3B END
Stubbs
Soriano
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Sep 9, 2011 3:00 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Castro I like,
But I want nothing to do with Soriano.
Also Soriano has a full-no trade in his contract
Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself each year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell embellished stories of all their great feats of battle.
There's enough doubt about Castro's defense that I wouldn't do it
Also, Soriano’s worthless even if he’s free. He’s an older Heisey at this point.
by ken on Sep 9, 2011 3:12 PM EDT up reply actions
EwOBC,

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
by -ManBearPig on Sep 9, 2011 3:12 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
This is such a bad idea on so many levels.
Like ken said, Soriano almost has negative value now, even if he’s essentially free. And contrary to what you might want to think, there ARE questions about Castro’s long-term viability as a MLB SS.
Also, it does nothing to address the starting pitching situation.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
starting pitching is fine
Cueto is a 1. Chappie is your 2. Leake is a 3.
Arroyo and homer are the 4/5s with edinson and wood due for bounceback seasons.
The bullpen worries me more
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Sep 9, 2011 4:38 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I don't really disagree with this
except I really doubt Chapman will be a #2 next year.
But if you are going to make that argument, I’d argue that SS and/or LF are “fine” too with the options we currently have, and you’d be significantly downgrading 1B in order to get potentially marginal upgrades.
I think Cozart is a much better defender than Castro. He walks about the same amount and has more power too. Castro is a better hitter, and will have a better OBP, but the overall improvement wouldn’t be nearly worth the loss at 1B.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
My plan a is votto to lf
Alonso’s bat needs to be in the lineup. He’s super cheap.
I’m not sold on cozart. He’s a maybe at this point, SSS. Lf and 3b are still holes. And the reds are one injury away from janish getting 500 ab, which scares the shit outta me.
I like frazier as a super sub, a la mark derosa a few years back.
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
I don't want Sori either
I was really upset when the Yankees traded him, but I don’t want him now.
I wouldn’t rule out trading Votto, but I think I’d hold out for a good starting pitcher.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
And Arroyo has given up at least nine bajillion homers to who cares.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
No
8:40 against the Rockies of Colorado, Mr. Emo Scrabbles.
by ken on Sep 9, 2011 4:11 PM EDT up reply actions
Florida International University!
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Are they the ones who brawled with Miami a while back, or was that South Florida?
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Yes, good old Ned

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
He was all about to knock some UM players in the shins with his crutches.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Great minds!
There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Arredondo. They were shining there for you and me, for liberty, Arredondo.
It was FIU
It’s also where this great picture came from

There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Arredondo. They were shining there for you and me, for liberty, Arredondo.
Nah, drink every time Michael Chandler is mentioned!
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Someone's gettin' drunk tonight
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Tonight's lineup. I guess Dusty doesn't trust Yonder in Coors' big LF with Homer on the mound
BP 2B
Sappelt LF
Votto 1B
Bruce RF
Francisco 3B
Stubbs CF
Hanigan C
Janish SS
Bailey P
It feels so nice to be back to normal
I don't mind seeing Sappelt get some time
But shit, what the hell happened to Heisey?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 9, 2011 4:33 PM EDT up reply actions
i think he's a known commodity.
they probably want to see what they’ve got with the young guys.
"Luna Lovegood is really freaking awesome in every way." -Me
Yeah, that's kind of crazy, especially given Dusty's speech when Alonso came up
about how Heisey deserves his shot.
Still, I kind of feel like we know what Heisey has to offer (better than his starter numbers this year, but probably not all that great), and they might as well find out what Sappelt can do (which will probably be about the same)
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Who do you think has more trade value; Heisey or Sappelt?
I’m leaning toward Heisey due to his HR numbers so far, and the fact that he’s a more known commodity. I tend to agree that they are both likely to contribute the same over the course of a season. Heisey might be good to shop around as part of a package this offseason.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Heisey might have a bit more trade value
The one big thing tilting in Sappelt’s favor is that he has 2 extra years of team control, although I’m not sure how much that would matter since both are pre-arb.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
I say Hi-Z
There was apparently some interest in him before the trade deadline, but Walt didn’t want to gve him up.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Heisey for Gerardo Parra was the rumor
back in the spring. Would you do that deal, now?
We Are ... Marshall!
by Thundering Turtle on Sep 9, 2011 5:42 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I think Heisey's been pegged as a pinch-hitter at this point
I don’t think he’s going to start next year. He’ll be the backup OFer, and someone else will start in LF. Alonso? Frazier? Sap? Some free agent type? Dunno, but I don’t think it will be Heisey.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
No Mesoraco?
I suppose he’s not used to Homer.
Nice to see Janish in the lineup.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Good lord
Edgar is 9 for his last 21, and has .783 ops post all star game. Soft j is rockin a .454 ops in the same time frame.
Janish is a LIDR only.
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
Renteria can't go every day, or even 5 days a week at this point.
If I were Dusty I’d have Frazier playing SS and Alonso playing first, but this is enough youth for him, I guess.
Renteria won't be back next year
Janish probably will be. And he’s still inexperienced enough that more at-bats should benefit him.
Dusty doesn’t even like Frazier at 3B, so I don’t think he’ll be playing SS.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I think he will
He’s not a .200 hitter.
Bobby Murcer used to say you’d see a big improvement after 2000-2500 at-bats. I think there’s still plenty of room for Janish to improve.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Janish's only tool as a hitter is his eye
his walk rate dropped like a stone this year, I think pitchers have realized all you have to do is throw him a strike, not even a good strike, and he will hit the ball weakly.
It will get better.
I think he'll get over that
And there’s at least a chance more experience will improve him, and therefore improve the team next year.
That is not true for Renteria. He’s beyond the point where he needs more experience, and he probably won’t be back next year anyway. There is no chance giving Renteria these at-bats will make the team better next year.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I went looking for a funny "that's racist!" picture and stumbled across this

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
More fight talk!
Carpenter now saying he did yell something at Morgan
It feels so nice to be back to normal
I didn't know this was in controversy
Even if the video wasn’t clear, I just assumed that Carp yelled something. It was a big K, it took ten pitches, and it was against the biggest jerk in the league.
by ken on Sep 9, 2011 6:22 PM EDT up reply actions

by 




























