SIS - Happens to be the Home Run Derby edition
by boobs on Jul 11, 2011 5:01 PM EDT
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PrintTonight is some kind of home run hitting exhibition thing, whatever. Basically it means there's no real baseball today. Which is weird. So if you're used to coming to Red Reporter to waste time, you can still do that here. I plan to be in this thread talking about the home run derby (not really) and all kinds of other shit.
Here are some facts about the old syndicated TV show "Home Run Derby":
1) It was really boring, similar to the new home run derby.
2) It took place in Wrigley Field, but not the one you think. It was the Wrigley Field in Los Angeles, which was the home of some PCL teams and also the Los Angeles Angels in their first year of existence (1961, the year after the TV show). Wrigley gave up 248 home runs in 1961, a record that stood for 30 years. It was torn down a few years later and now there stands a loony bin.
3) The show lasted for 26 episodes in 1960, ceasing production after host Mark Scott died of a heart attack on July13 -- 11 days after the last episode aired.
4) Hank Aaron had the most appearances (seven) and the most wins (six). He won $13,500.
5) Mickey Mantle was the winner in the first and last episodes of the show, beating Willie Mays in the first 9-8 and Jackie Jensen in the last 13-10.
6) Eight contestants are still alive: Aaron, Ernie Banks, Bob Cerv, Rocky Colavito, Al Kaline, Mays, Frank Robinson, and Gus Triandos.
7) Every episode is now for sale at the iTunes store for $1.99 apiece.
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I loved watching the old show when they put reruns on TBS
At least, I think it was TBS. That was way back when TBS only showed stuff like The Flintstones, Andy Griffith, Braves baseball, and old cowboy movies.
Of course, we didn’t have cable when I was a kid, so I could only watch it when we went over to my grampa’s house. He would usually have it on in the den where he had a half-dozen deer heads and a beer fridge. He would take an afternoon nap in the recliner and I would sit there on the couch being extra-quiet and watching these old legends knock the ball around. I’ll always remember how the umpire would yelp to call an out. Mays would line a screamer back through the box and the umpire would let out an alarming yelp, “ONE OUT!” and Mark Scott would reminds us every single time that though it would be a single any other time, here it was an out.
So Home Run Derby always reminds me of my grampa. Not the modern derby, but the old-timer one.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Jul 11, 2011 5:48 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I've never heard of the old show. It had real players go and compete for money and Hank Aaron won it a lot?
Why did he need $13,000?
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
Ronnie Garvin, The Man With The Hand Of Stone
Jimmy “Boogie-woogie man” Valient.
“Handsome” Harley Rhodes….. some of my favorites of the era.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jul 11, 2011 6:16 PM EDT up reply actions
I always wondered how he could see.
That bandana thing was always over his eyes.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jul 11, 2011 6:35 PM EDT up reply actions
I think FSN had it on at some point too
But I also loved watching it growing up. Harmon Killebrew was up on the Babe’s level in my book because I saw him win on that show.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 11, 2011 6:11 PM EDT up reply actions
Chris Berman again right?
Pass.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Jul 11, 2011 5:51 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
is anyone eating anything good for dinner?
the heat has kind of made me nauseous this evening & i can’t decide if there’s anything i want to eat.
I'm eating a Hungry Man TV dinner because my mom is in Michigan and my girlfriend is in Iowa.
#NotSexistAtAll
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
We checked out a new Cuban restaurant in our neighborhood.
I had the cubano sandwhich, Mrs. Creds had a glazed shrimp thingy and corn fritters.
Verdict? meh.
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
You shouldn't. Factor in airfare, it would be a #turrible decision
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
Hot days are cottage cheese days.
Cottage cheese, kale chips, and a slice of zucchini bread (with chocolate chips!) will be my uninspired dinner this evening.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:03 PM EDT up reply actions
cottage cheese and chocolate chips? Really?
I’m a bit skeptical. I like my cottage cheese with tomatoes and pepper.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Ha. ha.
Actually, I don’t think cottage cheese with chocolate chips would be okay— I like salty and sweet mixed. Kale chips and chocolate chips, on the other hand.. probably not so good.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:07 PM EDT up reply actions
the zucchini bread has chocolate chips
i assume the cottage cheese does not.
tomatoes do not belong in anything & i don’t like pepper in cottage cheese.
I hate when tomatoes get into my pizza sauce!
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Jul 11, 2011 8:08 PM EDT up reply actions
Nah
It’s just great stuff to listen to as a teenager. I still like it now, but it’s magical during your formative years.
by Brendanukkah on Jul 11, 2011 6:58 PM EDT up reply actions
I remember hearing "Enter Sandman" for the first time at night at camp
It scared the piss out of me. That, and listening to “Drive” by R.E.M. on the bus. Such a fantastically dark song. I hope kids still listen to scary rock that isn’t stupid.
by Brendanukkah on Jul 11, 2011 7:01 PM EDT up reply actions
listening to Drive right now
with thunder rolling outside and just my reading light on in my room. It’s working pretty well.
Imma get thinking of “modern dark songs”. I can’t help thinking it’s a lot of DBT
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Twilight Singers would make the list
“The Killer.” Wow.
by Brendanukkah on Jul 11, 2011 7:51 PM EDT up reply actions
I think anything with Mark Lanegan could make the cut.
I was going to say “”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEcXz7b2Bk0" >Kingdoms of Rain." Lanegan isn’t terribly 2011, even if he’s technically still around and doing music.
Shearwater can be pretty eerie at times. I’m considering the Presets too, even though I know I didn’t convince you to like them.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
My favorite is the Bubble Bowl halftime show, followed by the Sea Bear episode
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I like thevole
Here’s a funny thing he just posted on his blog.
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
Washington Nuggets? That's not very scary.
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
Tell that to Sunshine Corazon from Glee!
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:00 PM EDT up reply actions
What's a laker?
Browns aren’t scary either. Twins don’t frighten me. Neither do cans of red bull.
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
If Browns aren't scary, why are Reds scary?
They’re both colors!
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:07 PM EDT up reply actions
you got a purdy mouf, boy
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jul 13, 2011 8:14 AM EDT up reply actions
Browns refers to a dog of some kind, which seems like it could be scary.
And Reds are scary because they want to take your freedoms.
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
Browns refers to the Brown family, which we all know is frightening.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Browns obviously refers to undie stains.
And they’re scary.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Jul 11, 2011 8:11 PM EDT up reply actions
Imagine a can of red bull chucked at high speed at your head.
Scared now? Imagine 100 million of them!!!
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:09 PM EDT up reply actions
especially if the person throwing them had drank red bulls before throwing!
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 8:10 PM EDT up reply actions
The Lakers used to play in Minnesota, Land of 1,000 Lakes.
The Utah Jazz used to be The New Orleans Jazz. Both teams kept their names. I presume this is because LA Rioters and Utah Polygamists were names that were too “on the nose.”
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Jul 11, 2011 8:10 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Who knew watching Baseketball would turn out to be so educational
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
i'll apply the same logic to the stars i did to the suns
stars are hot, they could burn you up & that is scary
Yeah, and if they explode, forget about it.
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
but they do sound pretty mighty.
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 7:53 PM EDT up reply actions
Plus, Emilio Estevez can call up his crazy brother to kick your ass.
by FordhamRam on Jul 11, 2011 7:54 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
exactly
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 8:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, and ducks are less scary than those other birds.
Their bills aren’t even pointy! They can’t even peck at you.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:00 PM EDT up reply actions
Fine, Suns and Stars are lethal
But what about Heat? Get a fucking air conditioner.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 11, 2011 8:16 PM EDT up reply actions
Imagine you're in an oven.
Spoiler alert: Heat was pretty lethal to the witch in Hansel and Gretel.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:17 PM EDT up reply actions
Then the mascot should be the Excessive Heat
Heat by itself isn’t destructive
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 11, 2011 8:19 PM EDT up reply actions
I've never been scared of dolphins.
Then again, I’m not a sardine or a criminal from a 60’s Disney sit-com.
dolphins rape people sometime. They're scary
the “Chicago Sky” comment made me lol.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I think the OKC Thunder got robbed.
It’s a noise. Also, the LA Clippers are named after ships, which are not particularly intimidating to me.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 11, 2011 8:17 PM EDT up reply actions
I think the least intimidating mascot may be the Montreal Canadiens
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 11, 2011 8:18 PM EDT up reply actions
It's basically Canadian vs. French Canadian, right?
Yeah, I’m sticking with that
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 11, 2011 8:20 PM EDT up reply actions
I gotta run now
I’ll look it up tonight and let you guys know- I sort of remember, but not totally.
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
What about the Kings?
It probably depends on what king, right?
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 11, 2011 8:21 PM EDT up reply actions
indeed
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 8:24 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm gonna be the main event, like no king was before... I'm brushing up on looking down, I'm working on my
ROOOOOAAARRR!!!
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
Not to nitpick, but puns are important
I think you mean the “mane event.”
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:28 PM EDT up reply actions
South Sydney Rabbitohs Rugby League Club's Reggie Rabbit does not instill fear.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Jul 11, 2011 8:28 PM EDT up reply actions
The Omaha Royals have Sammy the Sausage.
That would not intimidate me. It might make me want mustard.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Jul 11, 2011 8:40 PM EDT up reply actions
i wish josh hamilton was in this hr derby
him stealing the show a few years ago is basically the only memory i have of home run derbies
But he's an ass!
That negates his talent!
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
He's an ass?
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Jul 11, 2011 8:01 PM EDT up reply actions
Apparently. That seems to be the feeling around here.
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
I was on media blackout when he tossed that ball into the second deck and killed a dude.
MLB forbids this practice, because people fall like this, but he did it anyway.
Is he an ass for doing that?
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Jul 11, 2011 8:06 PM EDT up reply actions
Nah, apparently for being an addict and now "finding Jesus" and talking about it too much.
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
Also kind of a hypocrite
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
who?
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Never even heard of him
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Chris Berman
sweet tie.
shut the fuck up.
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 8:05 PM EDT reply actions
My favorite part about the Home Run Derby is watching the rest of the players on
the sidelines. They bring their kids, which is cute, and they interact with each other in fun and interesting ways. In 1999, Scott Williamson and Sammy Sosa thought something was so funny that they rolled around together, giggling. I kid you not. That moment is still legendary in my family.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:06 PM EDT reply actions
I remember an SI article about Scott Williamson's poetry
I showed it to my dad at the breakfast table. He then cleared his throat theatrically and said:
“An unhittable slider/
Dagnabbit/
There goes my arm.”
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
He writes poetry? That's fantastic.
He also plays indy ball in New Jersey.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:11 PM EDT up reply actions
Jersey people are loud and mouthy
And have turrrrrible accents.
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Jul 11, 2011 8:16 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I have 5 co-workers from New Jersey.
Not one of them sounds like what I thought someone from Jersey would sound like.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:16 PM EDT up reply actions
I think you mean New Yorkers
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Will a Reds pitcher be throwing batting practice for RIckie Weeks?
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:09 PM EDT reply actions
Where's a good place to stay
a little more than halfway between louisville and hilton head?
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
Ashville, NC is my vote
Its apparently just a town full of Man Mountains
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I was just in Clemson last weekend, which is very close to Greenville.
There are excellent peaches at roadside stands in that part of the country!
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Hmmmmm....
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
its really pretty
It is a college town in the summer, which can be a good and bad thing. But it’s nice and southern while still being somewhat Appalachian.
Ashville is probably a better place, but Greenville may be more geographically convenient.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Man Mountain is a fictional figure not unlike the Sasquatch
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 11, 2011 9:49 PM EDT up reply actions
jack links released playing cards of sasquatch a few years back, and i acquired one
it had “stats” on the back, and every couple of months I would quiz my coworker on them. Here are the answers:
What is Sasquatch’s height? a: 7-11
How much does he weigh? a: 425
What is his personal motto? a: “I enjoy throw boulder.”
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
Maybe Man Mountain can use it when he never shows up again
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
time to drive to Commerce City to see if my soccer game's cancelled
go dingers!
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Someone must have printed out a twitter search of his name
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 11, 2011 8:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Hey look, future Reds closer Heath Bell
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
I'mma go watch Harry Potter 5
You know why? Because Luna Lovegood is soooo fine.
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
I watchedit last night!
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
by nycredsfan on Jul 11, 2011 10:16 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
It made me happy every time Luna Lovegood came on the screen.
She’s awesome.
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
Thank you for that agreeance
She has a mighty fine voice
"Look at me, Rex Banner. I have a new hat."
because of all your talk, i googled her
i was saddened to learn she is not a real person, but is actually a character.
the actress that plays the character has a big nose & looks to be 10 years old. (wiki claims she’s 19)
If you take her on a date, be on the lookout for falling houses
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Jul 12, 2011 9:18 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Watch her on film before you judge.
She’s awesome. I win. You lose. Ha.
"Luna Lovegood is really freaking awesome in every way." -Me
Sadly it looks like I'm going to this Thursday night
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Well, by all means, try not to enjoy it or anything.
"Luna Lovegood is really freaking awesome in every way." -Me
Do you mean one of the more obnoxious characters in a franchise brimming with obnoxious characters?
Because wow, is she obnoxious. Maybe not Moaning Myrtle obnoxious, but up there.
by Brendanukkah on Jul 12, 2011 10:41 AM EDT up reply actions
She's not a whiny little bitch like Harry.
She’s not a know-it-all skank like Hermione. And she’s not a ginger. Luna wins. Shut up. You lose. Go cry.
"Luna Lovegood is really freaking awesome in every way." -Me
by crolfer on Jul 12, 2011 11:48 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I wouldn't with jch's
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jul 13, 2011 8:19 AM EDT up reply actions
Whatever. The character is freaking awesome.
Evanna Lynch is awesome too.
"Luna Lovegood is really freaking awesome in every way." -Me
Um, the sky here is absolutely terrifying.
I’ve never seen it like this. I’m a little scared.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:28 PM EDT reply actions
Maybe the Chicago Sky IS an intimidating mascot
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
by boobs on Jul 11, 2011 8:31 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I've never seen lightning like this.
I feel like I’m inside a hurricane.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:31 PM EDT up reply actions
A regular one that makes calls.
Nothing special or smart.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:34 PM EDT up reply actions
Wasn't it like this a month ago?
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
If so, I missed it.
Or I’m more in the middle of it or something.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:34 PM EDT up reply actions
Maybe it's right over you now
It’s calm here…eerily calm
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
It rained for about ten minutes
Thank god I was walking home during those ten minutes!
by Brendanukkah on Jul 11, 2011 9:47 PM EDT up reply actions
whew, been there done that.
That's what she said!
by Raven Riley on Jul 11, 2011 8:39 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
If there is a hell, it's a baseball broadcast featuring Chris Berman, tHom, and Tim McCarver.
by FordhamRam on Jul 11, 2011 8:37 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Brantley is still palatable when teamed with Kelsh.
Thom and Tim and Berman and sMarty are all of “turn-it-off-now” quality.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Jul 11, 2011 8:44 PM EDT up reply actions
Kelsh is the janish of broadcasters
Backupnqbs are most popular guys on the team with fans
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
At least there's baseball!
Hell might be a tax audit narrated by Chris Berman, tHom, and Tim McCarver.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:39 PM EDT up reply actions
bubbafan, kse, i'mafunhaver, ram27, jack armstrong started an all star game, nasty n8, ams76 & RijoSaboCaseyWKRP
are all officially not cool
I always enjoy when I know
I should probably have the DVR ready for it.
Now it's raining and hailing.
I hope I don’t die in this storm.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:40 PM EDT reply actions
is it coming to cincinnati?
just got done playing tennis in 100 degree weather… could use a good storm.
Follow me on Twitter: @DTD_Clayton | Editor for Down the Drive
I'm in DC, so I usually get the weather a day after Cincinnati.
Accuweather says there’s storms in the Midwest, too, though.
Now my satellite is getting wacky. I don’t have access to the basement apartment. I guess I go into the stairwell if this gets worse.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:42 PM EDT up reply actions
An interior bathroom or closet is a good idea.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Jul 11, 2011 8:45 PM EDT up reply actions
Closet's good.
Our bathrooms both have windows.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:46 PM EDT up reply actions
hmm
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 8:49 PM EDT up reply actions
when i was in 6th grade
i took a science test & only missed one question.
The question was “Would a window found in a bathroom be Translucent or Transparent?”
i chose transparent because the window in the bathroom at my house & the one at my grandparent’s house were transparent. The answer was translucent. I still contend I was correct & that it was a terrible question.
i’ll probably always be irritated about it.
by 'tHan on Jul 11, 2011 8:52 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
That is a terrible question.
You got robbed.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:54 PM EDT up reply actions
i think it's fair
your teacher got retribution on your parents’ and grandparents’ horrible architects
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
so you went home, and you showed her your bathroom windows, and she said....?
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
it wasn't a test she made up
it came from the science textbook.
she liked to count correct answers of mine incorrect from time to time.
wasn’t a fun year
if that was me, back then, i probably would have done something like refuse to go to school until she fixed the grade
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
Ha!
When I was in sixth grade, I sued a kid who I thought cheated off me. No, really. We had a little trial in class and everything. God, I was obnoxious.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 9:13 PM EDT up reply actions
In fourth grade the other kids called me "Mr. Dewey, technically that's not correct"
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
Since I was smarter than any of our teachers,
my 8th grade class took to mockingly calling me The Professor.
Coulda been much worse.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Jul 13, 2011 4:51 PM EDT up reply actions
This is all very funny
because it’s all so familiar.
I got detentions all the time in 6th grade because I was constantly correcting Mrs. Weaver. She hated me.
“Mrs. Weaver? I believe it is “The Three Stooges”, not “The Three Stoogies”.
“Mrs. Weaver? Alan Shepard was the first American in space, not John Glenn.”
by Charlie Scrabbles on Jul 13, 2011 5:24 PM EDT up reply actions
Is this like a support group now?
I was first grade learning about subtraction, and our teacher was telling us about how if you have 5 apples, you can’t take away 7 apples because it’s impossible. I then proceeded to inform the class that she was wrong and taught everyone about negative numbers.
It continued into 4th grade, when while contributing a word to class-made spelling test, I was informed that my submission of “Kyrgyzstan” wasn’t allowed. God, I was obnoxious.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 13, 2011 7:34 PM EDT up reply actions
You got detention for correcting the teacher?
I correcting my teacher’s spelling of “marshmallow” in the fourth grade, and she just acted really impressed. Maybe it really was just an act, though. Maybe she was seething and trying to figure out ways to fail me on the inside.
by the finest muffins on Jul 13, 2011 10:07 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh, she hated me
She was one of those really stupid people who stupidly has too much pride. Plus, I was total asshole about it all.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Jul 13, 2011 11:07 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, like bankers!
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
by nycredsfan on Jul 11, 2011 10:20 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
im the highest ranked banker in a 75 mile radius
All those other people bankers are turrible. Especially the chase nutjobs.
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Jul 11, 2011 11:50 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I was of the understanding that you weren't the highest ranked banker in your household?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Jul 12, 2011 8:42 AM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
How does such a ranking work?
Is it the number of grannies you’ve swindled out of her life savings?
Or the number of dodgy mortgages you’ve sold and then repackaged and pawned off on another bank?
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
voted on by the number of people i've helped learn how to read when after the school system's had systematically failed them for years!
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
This reads like Justin was your star pupil
by Brendanukkah on Jul 12, 2011 6:34 PM EDT up reply actions
FTFY
This reeds like Justin was yore star pewpill.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Jul 13, 2011 4:52 PM EDT up reply actions
Wait, are most bathrooms windows translucent?
I’m not sure I knew that.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:56 PM EDT up reply actions
most, especially if theyre low enough for boobies to be seen through
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
Ah, that's the key.
My bathroom window and my parents’ bathroom windows are up high.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:59 PM EDT up reply actions
The best thing about my transparent bathroom window
is that it has a killer view of the Washington monument— and just now, a bolt of lightning parallel to the monument.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 9:14 PM EDT up reply actions
As long as it is not a closet that shares an exterior wall.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Jul 11, 2011 8:52 PM EDT up reply actions
Just heard thunder down here
So I guess we’ll be getting hail in about ten minutes or so
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
I have a little crush on Curtis Granderson.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:41 PM EDT reply actions
That's fake racist!
What do you actually mean?
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:43 PM EDT up reply actions
I have a huge crush on Luna Lovegood.
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
he looked totally unsurprised after hitting a 500-foot home run
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
What does the field say?
1595? I can’t read badly mowed lawns.
I can still smoke them, tho. :P
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Jul 11, 2011 8:52 PM EDT up reply actions
Rickie Weeks swings and misses against his homerun derby pitcher.
Has he swung and missed against a Reds pitcher this year?
Didn't Aroldis just strike him out?
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:54 PM EDT up reply actions
Yep, here:
Bottom 7
Pitcher Change: Aroldis Chapman replaces Dontrelle Willis, batting 9th.
Offensive Substitution: Pinch hitter Jonathan Lucroy replaces Randy Wolf.
1.Jonathan Lucroy strikes out swinging.
2.Rickie Weeks strikes out swinging.
3.Carlos Gomez strikes out swinging.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 9:01 PM EDT up reply actions
sand in his vagina
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jul 13, 2011 8:24 AM EDT up reply actions
Damn, the crowd is booing?
Goodness.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 8:57 PM EDT reply actions
Prince is the captain and picked Weeks over the hometown Upton.
I think their problem would be easily solved if they just traded Upton to the Reds.
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 8:58 PM EDT up reply actions
It's too late in the season for them to do any good.
Dusty has already established the roles for the players. However, they can get a head start for Spring 2012!
Schtoobs
BP
The REAL Joey Bats
Jupton
Brooooooose
Holy Rolen
Monie Love
Cozykins
Johnny Quest
sigh.
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 9:08 PM EDT up reply actions
So Scott Rolen is walking in 3.5% of his plate appearances this season.
Juan Francisco is walking 3.3% of the time in AAA. Why’d you give all your walks to Gomes, Scotty?
So Jeter is missing the all star game because of "exhaustion"?
by 'tHan on Jul 11, 2011 9:27 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
its funny how much jeter sucking off there is this week
but when it comes to bitching about players backing out of the all-star game, the perpetrators are strangely ambiguous
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
Hi guys! How is everyone?
I’ve gotten sucked into the Casey Anthony show on Investigation Discovery instead of listening to Berman scream like a moron.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I say 6 or 7 not made up, add a point for being dressed up with makeup
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
i enjoy the american pickers/pawn stars/american restoration cross promotion
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
Yeah, that was cool
A 1952 somethin’…..I just realized how much fucking money that family has
"Look at me, Rex Banner. I have a new hat."
That show reminds me of West Coast Choppers
Basically, related idiots yelling at each other over inconsequential shit. I can go to a family reunion and see that.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
thats true
the family stuff in pawn stars is not interesting at all. The stuff is what makes the show cool
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
I have a huge decision to make
Should I make buffalo chicken nuggets or grilled cheese?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
touche
In other news, I’ve known at least three or four people just like Casey Anthony in my life. And I would go straight to jail if calling your kid a snothead is a bad thing.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Have they explained why Americans became obsessed with her trial?
Because that’s what I want to know.
Singer: So did you know you can bring a gun in here now?
'Mache: I BROUGHT TWO! **flexes**
It's absolutely bizarre
The question I asked people who were up in arms was, “What was Caylee Anthony’s middle name?”. If you can’t answer that off the top of your head STFU and GBTW.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
i saw you say that
that’s really stupid. That’s like saying “If you don’t know Kanye West’s middle name, STFU and GBTW!”
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
I'm not screaming that Kanye West is going to burn in hell or should be killed by the state
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
yeah but, whose middle name do you know, outside of your immediate family?
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
Serial killers and Assassins
And Neil Patrick Harris.
by Brendanukkah on Jul 11, 2011 10:05 PM EDT up reply actions
Jonathan Johnson Gomes
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
I wouldn't have known the first two
David Dewitt Bailey!
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
I knew Jay Bruce had three first/last names.
Couldn’t remember what it was.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 10:22 PM EDT up reply actions
Harry Truman's middle name was just S
Just the letter S. The period you used is unnecessary.
by Brendanukkah on Jul 11, 2011 10:19 PM EDT up reply actions
That's true of Ulysses S Grant, too, right?
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 10:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Wikipedia says he was born Hiram Ulysses Grant.
Wikipedia sucks.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 10:22 PM EDT up reply actions
also not his name
He was christened Hiram Ulysses Grant. “Sam” came at West Point, and he hated the name Hiram so he just dropped it.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Jul 12, 2011 12:22 AM EDT up reply actions
What does the H stand for in William H Macy?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Also, I am not a fan of hominy
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I was forced to eat it a lot as a kid, along with soup beans
Thus I pretty much hate both as an adult.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
soup beans are delicious
if there’s no soup & it’s loaded with cornbread, onion & ketchup.
relish is also good in them
It took me a while to realize I actually like cornbread because I always associated it with soup beans
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
same here
Polenta is no good.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
you shut your whoremouth
polenta is delicious
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jul 13, 2011 8:28 AM EDT up reply actions
Was it you who ordered it at a RR outing one time?
I seem to remember one RR being oddly obsessed with it.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 13, 2011 7:35 PM EDT up reply actions
me and obc ordered it
it was delicious
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jul 14, 2011 6:50 AM EDT up reply actions
Am I the only one who doesn't know what soup beans are?
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
I bet if you asked for soup beans at Chipotle they'd mess it up
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
yes they would
because I really want black beans!
by 'tHan on Jul 11, 2011 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Really really?
They are delicious.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Jul 11, 2011 10:45 PM EDT up reply actions
I was wondering, too.
You’re not alone, BK.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 10:50 PM EDT up reply actions
Good to know
Google needs to come out with a Bumpkin to English translator
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 11, 2011 10:53 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Most child actors
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
Anthony Michael Hall
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
by nycredsfan on Jul 11, 2011 10:23 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Metta World Peace
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
by boobs on Jul 11, 2011 10:25 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I once knew someone named
Spring Cloud Pillow
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 10:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Did we mention Keenan Ivory Wayans?
He’s the token of this crew
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
I thought that would be George Washington Carver
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Honestly, it'd be Martin Luther King, but who's keeping track
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
Florence Griffith Joyner?
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 10:39 PM EDT up reply actions
ahh, a first crush of mine
Joey Lauren Adams
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions
so cute, such a terrible voice
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
boobaliscious
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 10:40 PM EDT up reply actions
And her sister Secretariat Jessica Parker
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 11, 2011 10:20 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
Yeah, I was going to say all the Home Improvement boys:
Zachary Ty Brian
Taran Noah Smith
Jonathan Taylor Thomas
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 10:19 PM EDT up reply actions
That's kind of the point
I wouldn’t say that someone deserves to die without at least knowing something about them.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
oh ok.
if youre talking about people saying casey should die, then i get that. i thought you just meant people shouldnt express their opinion on the matter
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
not at all
I was just irked by people saying things like “Well the lawd will surely judge her and she’ll burn in hell!” or “Someone should just take her out!”.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
yeah those people are ridiculous
i didnt think those people needed to be responded to. regardless, we’re on the same page
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
You don't think the fact that he's a public figure who essentially volunteered to make his living on fame makes a difference?
Although, I’ve also wanted people to STFU about Kanye, too, regardless of whether they knew his middle name.
Singer: So did you know you can bring a gun in here now?
'Mache: I BROUGHT TWO! **flexes**
the anthonys have become public figures. That kinda sucks, but it's reality. I dont have a problem with people weighing in on them now, after it's already been made into a media spectacle
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
They didn't choose that, though. Kanye did.
Singer: So did you know you can bring a gun in here now?
'Mache: I BROUGHT TWO! **flexes**
She's a pretty white girl
They’re the only people that commit murders, dontcha know?
Fuck it, we'll do it live.
I can think of a lot of trends and generalities that partly explain it.
But nothing that totally satisfies me.
Singer: So did you know you can bring a gun in here now?
'Mache: I BROUGHT TWO! **flexes**
shes white and attractive, and she waited 30 days to report her child missing
the last part makes it somewhat an anomaly. Like Leopold and Lobe, although obviously not that interesting
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
my recollection is that darrow joined because it was such an interesting case, not vice versa
hard to remember though. I was pretty young then
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
He got paiiiiid, son
Both L’s were at UChicago, came from wealthy families and all. Darrow was anti-death penalty and saw a chance to rail against it, so he joined in.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Jul 12, 2011 12:25 AM EDT up reply actions
Darrow's guiding principle was the buck
Towards the end of his career he defended a bunch of white guys in Hawaii accused of killing a native Hawaiian in the Thalia Massie trial. Not considered his finest hour.
grilled cheese with deli meat on it
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jul 13, 2011 8:26 AM EDT up reply actions
Moneyball commercial
It’s still hillarious to me that Royce effing Clayton is playing Miguel Tejada
Fuck it, we'll do it live.
Wait, really?
He had the decency to play himself in The Rookie.
by Brendanukkah on Jul 11, 2011 9:55 PM EDT up reply actions
I think I've changed my mind on Casey Anthony
Something about her mouth is unsettling to me, not that hot.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
a mouth is a mouth is a mouth
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jul 13, 2011 8:30 AM EDT up reply actions
Who has time to protest outside the trial of someone they've never met?
Do these people not have jobs or personal lives?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
The same type of people that do not understand people are innocent until proven guilty.
And the burden of proof is on the state to prove otherwise.
There's a Planned Parenthood next door to National Geographic
Which was a lot of fun during the Bush years, because you could step out the door, look to your right, and see the White House. Anyway, there’s a lady that stands out front all day and prays. Just stands there. It makes me think of the lives that she hopes to preserve, so they can grow up to… stand in place and not do anything day after day.
by Brendanukkah on Jul 11, 2011 10:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Aw shit, Casey Anthony has already been offered a porn role
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
did the male porn stars see that mouth and demand hazard pay?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Jul 11, 2011 10:00 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Unique Eats promises something about lobster poutine, color me intrigued
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
there's a killer poutine and sausage restaurant in Denver
you should swing by sometimes.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Jul 12, 2011 12:26 AM EDT up reply actions
He's on this episode of Deadliest Warriors
Who’s deadlier, Alexander the Great, or Attila the Hun?
by Brendanukkah on Jul 11, 2011 10:08 PM EDT up reply actions
I tought he died because someone hit him in the stomach
And he died of internal bleeding
Fuck it, we'll do it live.
What, deadlier as an individual, or as a war leader?
Singer: So did you know you can bring a gun in here now?
'Mache: I BROUGHT TWO! **flexes**
Deadlier in the sense of the weapons used by their troops
But focused through the prism of the individual.
Evans is on Team the Great.
by Brendanukkah on Jul 11, 2011 10:11 PM EDT up reply actions
This is a buncha bullshit
Cincinnati, OH (45236) Weather
Updated: Jul 11, 2011, 10:05pm EDT
86°F
Feels Like: 101°
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Well, hot damn.
I believe that. Still, 86-101 is a huuuuge difference.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 10:21 PM EDT up reply actions
I'd go outside and see if I could figure it out but I'm a little scared
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
The dew point right now is 80 degrees, amazing
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
It was 95/116 when I left work today
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
Yeah, it was insane when I got in the car to go home
It sucks that you can’t leave the windows down for fear of a pop up storm.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Yeah, I just went outside for the first time since 9am today
and my reaction was somewhere along the lines of, “DAAAAAAMN.”
By the way, you all still have an hour and a half to go to your nearest 7 Eleven.
In honor of today being 7/11, they’re giving away free slurpees.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 10:27 PM EDT reply actions
It would take that long just to get to Columbus, where the closest one resides
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I wonder what a southern waitress would call Atilla
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Big whoop, I did that for years
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Jul 11, 2011 10:41 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Of course.
It all comes down to a Yankee and a Red Sox. ESPN must be loving this.
by the finest muffins on Jul 11, 2011 10:39 PM EDT reply actions
ESPN's dick is hard.
And it just came.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Jul 11, 2011 10:41 PM EDT up reply actions
transformers toys in the Burger King kids meal & Star Wars toys in the Happy Meal
Which one you getting?
Burger King kids meals kinda suck
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
the BK stackers are delicious
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jul 13, 2011 8:35 AM EDT up reply actions
TWSS
/high fives all around
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Jul 13, 2011 7:34 PM EDT up reply actions
i lay it out, so you can play it out
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jul 14, 2011 6:51 AM EDT up reply actions
Uh, can i have both?
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Jul 11, 2011 10:42 PM EDT up reply actions
But, that is what i want!
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Jul 11, 2011 10:45 PM EDT up reply actions
See you let me have what I want.
Now I will be fat, and a spoiled child.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Jul 11, 2011 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm a glutton.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Jul 11, 2011 10:47 PM EDT up reply actions
We'll need to change your name to a location to make it perfect
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
And yes, I know my daughter's name is Sydney
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
should have named her Alexandria
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Jul 12, 2011 12:13 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
oh you do?
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
by boobs on Jul 12, 2011 12:40 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I got an awesome punch-out-fold-tab-a-into-slot-b firetruck today from Arby's.
It has a rotating extending ladder on it! It kept me occupied for like 20 minutes!
Singer: So did you know you can bring a gun in here now?
'Mache: I BROUGHT TWO! **flexes**
You're a child after my own heart.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Jul 11, 2011 10:45 PM EDT up reply actions
and I'm sure there's 1 kid out of a million who will break it, eat it, and choke.
and they’ll have to recall it after the lawsuit and settlement.
stupid america!
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm a child of all ages.
Singer: So did you know you can bring a gun in here now?
'Mache: I BROUGHT TWO! **flexes**
's nightmare.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Jul 11, 2011 10:50 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
's baby daddy.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Jul 11, 2011 10:53 PM EDT up reply actions
I have to be at work at 7:00 AM tomorrow, and that sucks
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Why?
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
Some quality meeting or somesuch
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
i'm at work at 7 every morning!
yayyyy horse farms.
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 10:54 PM EDT up reply actions
I occasionally miss doing hardwood
We would start around 7:00 and be done around 4:00, it was awesome. The unawesome part was working on days like today.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
yep, today pretty much sucked.
Tomorrow’s going to pretty much suck as well.
No problem, fuckweasel! - jch24
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Jul 11, 2011 10:56 PM EDT up reply actions
does anyone on this site work outdoors?
Kinda seems like a climate controlled group, no?
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Jul 12, 2011 12:01 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
That fall wouldn't have been quite as bad.
People are fucking stupid. it is just a ball.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Jul 11, 2011 11:01 PM EDT up reply actions
Just heard tbhunder, hell yes!
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
i pretty much cant breathe outside
this is the worst night heat ive ever felt in louisville
Retractions are for journalists! -Gray
i love this weather!
Much better than winter snot drip weather. If winter was the shit cicadas would emerge after the first frost.
I must declare neighborhoods with community pools are tremendous.
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Jul 11, 2011 11:59 PM EDT via mobile reply actions 1 recs
I hate you and everything you stand for.
Winter is beautiful. It has soul and integrity. Summer is littered with oppression and endless hatred spewing into the world. Winter is the seasons swirl, the time where everything flies from tree to tree. Sit by the fire and take in serenity. Summer is the vacant shit simmering and wafting, choking everyone of their hopes and dreams. Enjoy your community pool before it drowns you.
by KSE on Jul 12, 2011 12:27 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'm with obc on this one, winter can suck it and suck it hard
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
there is no baseball in winter
Checkmate.
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Jul 12, 2011 8:46 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions 3 recs
This is pretty much the only decent argument for summer.
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
winter is terrible
it’s when everything dies. it’s cold and makes you sick. it sucks to go outside & you have to shovel snow.
it’s also depressing. no wonder so many people commit suicide in the winter. it’s the worst
bikinis > parkas
by 'tHan on Jul 12, 2011 8:51 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Fresh Prince never did a song about Wintertime, that has to mean something
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Not everybody records a summer album
But EVERYBODY records a Christmas album.
by Brendanukkah on Jul 12, 2011 10:44 AM EDT up reply actions
Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to BOOM.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Summer and winter have their upsides
But have you ever taken a dump on a hot, humid summer day in a restroom with no air conditioning? One of the worst sensations in the world.
But anyone that argues that something besides spring or fall is the best season is a dope.
by Brendanukkah on Jul 12, 2011 10:43 AM EDT up reply actions
there are certain situations you should never put yourself in!
you have to plan ahead.
by 'tHan on Jul 12, 2011 11:30 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Definitely agree here
You should never have to shit in the woods, in a port-o-potty at a concert, or in a bar.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
pooping outdoors is a surefire way to put yourself back in touch with your animal instincts
like walking barefoot or having premarital sex without protection. It’s not a good idea every time, but its a good reminder of where we’ve come from as a species.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Jul 12, 2011 11:49 AM EDT up reply actions
premarital sexd without protection is extremely underrated
ask Dr Schwartz!
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
This is true. Spring first, then Fall.
Actually, both summer and winter can suck it.
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
I enjoy the beginning of baseball far more than the beginning of football
Please excuse my avatar. I lost a bet, and jch24 is a jerk.
Have you ever taken a dump in an uninsulated outhouse in Maine at night in the middle of winter, with 2 feet of snow on the ground and wind howling around your ankles?
Because yikes.
Singer: So did you know you can bring a gun in here now?
'Mache: I BROUGHT TWO! **flexes**
shouldn't your pants be around your ankles during shit-taking time
to protect against the wind?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Pants are illegal in Maine.
Long underwear with buttflaps are all the rage.
Singer: So did you know you can bring a gun in here now?
'Mache: I BROUGHT TWO! **flexes**
Indubitably.
I still don’t even know who won the HRD. I’m pretty sure that’s how it should be.
"Luna Lovegood is really freaking awesome in every way." -Me
I just read all of this thread and was dissapointed that there were no tits in it.
"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer." - Robert Frost
by Madville on Jul 14, 2011 12:42 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
But it's RR, so there are always plenty of boobs.
Singer: So did you know you can bring a gun in here now?
'Mache: I BROUGHT TWO! **flexes**
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