SIS - We came down from Cincinnati to visit WLB's! (1123 words)

Prior to this past weekend I have passed through St Louis twice in my lifetime (on a trip to and from Kansas City). I have spent a grand total of zero minutes off the freeway in the city limits. After this past weekend’s trip to the Gateway City I am proud to report that number has not increased at all. Like Dallas, if you ever get the chance to go to St Looey, take it from me, pass it on by!

My first thoughts upon entering the metroplex was that STL has a less impressive skyline than CIN. They also have even uglier bridges crossing their dirty brown river than CIN. 2-0 Cincy right off the bat. Almost immediately we came upon Busch Ballpark/Field/Stadium/Whatevertheycallit. It sits within 10 feet of the double-decker interstate. Weird. tHan and I both agreed that Busch must be the closest ballpark to an interstate in the USA. In my minds eye I thought GABP was most likely the closest NL ballpark to a freeway. Nay, friend, NAY! The Cards were in KC so there was no opportunity to see a ballgame.  

After seeing the mighty Mississippi, the Gateway Arch, the STL skyline and Busch Stadium within the first three minutes of our time in the Show Me state we decided it was prudent to get down to brass tacks and see why Missouri wasn’t nicknamed the Taste Me state by hitting up a brewery tour. Anheiser-Busch? Nah, they’re no longer an American company…so we decided to give the Schlafley Brewery a shot at the title. It’s the third biggest brewery in Missouri and probably the only one situated in a residential neighborhood. Plus, there was a Church’s Fried Chicken on the same block and we know that’s never a good sign. I’d give the Schlafley brewery tour a 6/10 on the big board rating scale. Nothing special about the tour itself but major bonus points for the amount of free ale and lager given to the tourees. My assessment is that most of the product is fair to middling but if you have the chance to pick up a sixer of the Coffee Stout I would highly recommend doing so. It’s the only brewery I know that utilizes Missour River water for their product!

The evening ended with brisket and ribs, the first RR BBQ tour stop outside the Greater Cincinnati Area! Thumbs up to mass quantity of meat the restaurant served its patron. Thumbs down for the slaw. Thumbs sideways for the cucumber flavored pickle.

The following day began with a trip to Six Flags St Louis (formerly known as Six Flags Over Mid-America…which is a stupid name for an amusement park). Here are the reviews for the rides:

RIVER KING MINE TRAIN – skipped it, because Mine Ride rollercoasters are also stupid…especially when they have "train" in the name.

SCREAMIN EAGLE – built in 1976, opened as the world’s highest and fastest roller coasters. Roller coasters must have sucked before the 80’s, this one was meh and beat the snot out of you. It had less than a thirty second wait.

NINJA – built in 1989, it is short and unsweet. The highlight was the smell of orange chicken from the Chinese restaurant located under the ride. It had literally no wait whatsoever to ride.

BATMAN – built in 1995. A short 10 minute wait. This was the first ride we rode and it set the bar high for Six Flags. Its an inverted coaster and the most comfortable ride of the day. Only ride we rode twice.

MR FREEZE – built in 1998, one of those premier launch rollercoasters. Pretty, pretty good ….especially the coming to a stop in midair, freefall backwards sensation. About a 20 minute wait, our longest of the day.

THE BOSS – built in 2000, kind of a mini Beast. Actually it reminds me more of a smaller version of the Gemini at Cedar Point. Not bad, and a very short five minute wait.

AMERICAN THUNDER – built in 2008 and oddly situated in kiddie land. A midsized wooden rollercoaster. No wait whatsoever. This coaster exceeded my expectations more than any other ride in the park. Great bang for the buck.

LOG FLUME – skipped it. All log flumes suck. People who like getting splashed with tepid amusement park water are gross.

XCALIBER – built 2003. originally it looked like a sideways Viking fury swing ride, I don’t think I can really explain this ride. But it made Westie almost lose her lunch which is always awesome!

After leaving the park we went to the heavily recommended Imo’s Pizza, home of the Provel Cheese pizza and cracker crust. Provel cheese is a mixture of provolone, cheddar and swiss. We ordered 2 salads, 30 toasted raviols and two large but insanely thin one topping pizzas to feed four people who spent 5 hours walking in an amusement park. We left with two boxes full of super thin pizza and about a dozen T Ravs. Imo’s was a pleasant surprise and all four of us give two thumbs up to the Za. Its not up there in the Pizano’s (of CHI) stratosphere but I must admit it was much better than anticipated. I do not recommend leaving boxes of Imo’s in your sport utility for a half hour while perusing the contents of your local liquor store, however. Not good times. I think 60 degrees is the cutoff mark for comfortably re-entering your car after leaving Imo’s in there for one half hour.

Freshly stocked with a plethora of high end beers, Cachaca, and cherry vodka we headed to the hotel to prepare for the evening’s entertainment, the grand opening of the Central Park amphitheatre in Chesterfield MO. Headliner? My main man Edwin McCain! Granted, Ed may not be as hip as the bands ‘nukkah likes and supports but he’s definitely more my speed. Very witty, super nice (we got to meet him backstage) and one helluva damn good singer. I think tHan and Mrs tHan were significantly surprised at how good the man is live on stage, especially from their 2nd row vantage point. I was more surprised that I was able to bring a cooler full of mango caipirinhas to the park!!! The only downer to the evening was tHan’s choice to end the evening smoking an entire cigar and knocking off a glass of Woodford on the rocks. SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE, indeed!

All in all we found west STL a nice enough place to spend a weekend. I hope to spend some time in the actual city limits next visit, with a focus on attending a Reds game at Busch and taking a ride to the top of the Arch!!!