Red Retweeter: S@#& my fan says

I hope you'll accept this handwritten "Tweets of the Week" certificate. Sorry for spelling your name wrong.

Joel Luckhaupt:
If the #Reds went to a closer by committee, I could see Dusty saving all possible closers for the 9th, just in case.

Joel, that's mean. You know that if the Reds went to closer by committee, it means Dusty would be insane and not understand what numbers mean.

John Fay:
RT @GoXavier @johnfayman do media people have to pay for their food?//Yes

I know Xavier is probably asking about paying for food in a certain context, like probably at the game, but it's funny to imagine someone thinking that those high-filulten' media people never pay for their vittles. Although, I'm kind of a media people - inasmuch as I write on a blog and I like media - and I never pay for food. But that's because I usually just "slip out the back."

John Fay:
RT @JayCrawford63 @johnfayman is it wrong to wish Volquez hadn't worked out his visa problems?//Wrong isn't the word I'd use.

Nice veiled jab. It does seem completely avoidable for Volquez to have missed half of spring training, tracing back to his (at the very least) careless use of a banned substance. But I'm guessing his ongoing recovery from TJ is at least as explanatory as the missed spring games. And at what point does Volquez start kicking himself for not taking that contract extension? That's at least some extra motivation to get things right.

Sam LeCure:
Just realized we have a 'Friday the 13th' coming up. Im gonna spend it breaking glass with my black cat, what are YOU gonna do?

Dunno, probably the same old. Perform a black mass underneath some ladders while seeing my bride on her wedding day. My bride is a pitcher in the middle of a perfect game who keeps stepping on the first-base line. I'll probably point out that no one has reached based yet in the game.

Joel Luckhaupt:
Todd Frazier is batting .283/.359/.505 with 37 doubles & 20 HR in 516 PA since 6/1/10. If Rolen's not coming back soon, please call him up.

Just wanted to agree. Frazier has probably emerged as the best stopgap when Rolen is injured, partly because it allows Janish to remain at short and Renteria to contribute in a more limited role, where he seems to thrive.

Reds Facts:
The dude eating the spicy coney in the new Skyline commercial is a wuss.

You're really not going to get a spicy coney, by non-wuss standards, unless you bring your own hot sauce. Which I do, everywhere, and it's in a holster.

Church of Baseball:
Ready to kick some Taint Louis ass! #iputaspellonyou #voodooalbert #taintlouisblackandblues #reds

Recommended for the taint-ass juxtaposition and packing in more anti-Cardinal oaths per square tweet (almost typed "square taint" there) than anyone this week.

DatDudeBP:
At WCBC watching my @ go HAM!!! So far RBI single, double, and 2 Runs! @ I'm witnessing the next big thing...

On the serious: what I think happened here is that Brandon Phillips showed up to the baseball game of one of his twitter followers. Stories of BP making time for fans, especially the shawties, are legion. It's possible to be a great citizen-athlete and still spit too much braggadocio. The man just doesn't suffer whining, is that so hard to understand?

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