Red Reporter Ballpark Guide
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Apr 4, 2011 10:15 AM EDT
in Red Reporter Ballpark Guide
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Last year, our own jch24 graced us with a four-part guide to Cincinnati and Great American Ballpark, providing a thorough overview of travel/lodging, dining, entertainment and the game experience - primarily for out-of-town visitors. This season, I thought we might could build on his foundational work, drilling down a little to try some critical reviews of items in and around Great American. This would include food and drink served at the park, gift shop purchases and nearby bar specials. If they decide to start serving bulgogi at a concession stand, it might benefit Reporters to know whether it's worth shelling out the $14.99, plus digestive tax. This probably doesn't include "public urination spots on Pete Rose Way" or "An Anti-Chris Carpenter Sign with Two Innuendos I Liked."
If you consume something in the general vicinity of GABP, we might want to hear 250-400 well-chosen words about it. Tell us what it is, where you can find and what you thought about. Pictures are a plus. And every review needs a point scale. I'm proposing using the farm system (Rookie, A, AA, AAA and Major League) - although some weirdness might result from the fact that Major League is equivalent to an "A." But confusing is the new intelligent.
Something like this Serious Eats review of Senate's "Croque Madame" is a decent template - it's descriptive and includes information about complements:
Senate's Croque Madame-an all-beef frank on a brioche roll, wrapped in black forest ham, covered in bechamel and topped with a poached egg-is probably the most intense hot dog I have ever eaten.
Other options range from the kimchi and short rib topped "Koreana" to crazy specials involving bacon relish and deep-fried cheese curds, or go for a classic Chicago style dog. These are "haute dogs" taken to the next level and done right. Even more delicious with a side of truffle fries and local beer.
We're looking for weirder, funnier, more Baseball-centric. In a word, more "redreporter." Tag it "Red Reporter Ballpark Guide," title it "Ballpark Guide:_____" and just like that, it's added to the commonweal. We'll put it on the front page as long as there are no obvious conflicts of interest or threats to my family.
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Definitely avoid both conflicts and interest.
Still not a candidate.
by Gray on Apr 4, 2011 10:43 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
At least you read to the end of it
"OVERCHARGE, v. To ask a higher price than you can get." -Ambrose Bierce
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Apr 4, 2011 11:37 AM EDT up reply actions
Threadjack
Mizzou is hiring Frank Haith. Anyone want to talk me down off the ledge?
/Threadjack over.
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
Kansas lost to VCU
I thought that would’ve sustained you through several years
"Those fellas make some good points," Baker said. "They're profane as hell, and they're probably gay, but they make some good points."
Dusty Baker on RR
WTF didn't they wait and make a run for Stevens ....
If Haith was on their short list, he wasn’t going anywhere.
I really want to root for the tigers have gone to college there, but they sure do make it difficult.
"And a high fly ball to center field. He hit it a ton. And the 2010 National League Central Division Champs are the Cincinnati Reds!"
Yeah, I really don't understand it.
If they really wanted Haith, they could have waited a year until Miami fired him and then hired him as an assistant.
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
the cardinals lost to the Pirates
Charlie 757 Morton held them to 1 run over 6 innings.
Get the fuck off your ledge and be happy.
"Nobody hits Satchel." -Satchel Paige
by justin007000 on Apr 5, 2011 12:42 AM EDT up reply actions
why is it only guys say that?
"Nobody hits Satchel." -Satchel Paige
by justin007000 on Apr 5, 2011 12:59 AM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
... Is there something you need to tell us, Justin?
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
I don't know. Haith seemed pretty good at Miami.
They haven’t done anything amazing, but it’s not like that’s a program with tons of tradition.
Still not a candidate.
Yeah, the Missouri SB Nation site is jokingly praying that this turns into a Gene Chizik situation.
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
What a program in all kinds of problems and constantly under speculation from the NCAA?
No thank you.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 4, 2011 12:06 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
At least you didn't hire Billy Gillispie....
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
Shaka Smart's better than Haith. Hell, at least 25 guys are better than Haith, including Gillispie
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 4, 2011 12:36 PM EDT up reply actions
Smart just turned down NC St
NC St is fucked….
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
Not as fucked as Missouri
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 4, 2011 12:39 PM EDT up reply actions
"Jim Valvano isn't walking through that door."
Seriously, he’s not. Unless there’s a zombie apocalypse and if that’s the case, recruiting is probably the least of your problems.
I've always wondered: If someone that died of cancer becomes a zombie ... do they still have cancer?
Does it mutate? Seriously, I want to know.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 4, 2011 12:43 PM EDT up reply actions
Would they eat it?
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
That's what I want to know!
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 4, 2011 4:42 PM EDT up reply actions
I really don't get all the slobbering for Shaka
Yes, his team got hot for a few weeks in March, and they rode that hot shooting (that they had yet to demonstrate in ANY stretch of the regular season) to the Final Four. Bully for them. And Shaka Smart is a great quote reciter (by a book of Bartlett’s; it’s easier than writing your own, Shaka), and his team obviously likes playing for him.
But this is also the same coach that led his team to a fourth place finish in the CAA, including puking all over February. If not for a questionable decision by the selection committee, no one outside of his immediate family has ever heard of Shaka Smart.
Some team is going to completely overpay for this new flavor of the month. Is he a decent coach? Apparently. But so is/was Stan Heath.
Yes and Heath is better than Haith. The problem here isn't with Shaka it's with Mizzou hiring a guy that's
worst than about 25-30 people that are better.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 4, 2011 4:45 PM EDT up reply actions
Haith. Really?
I mean, he’s not a compete disaster, but it seems like you could find someone a little better. Missouri isn’t an “eilte” program, but you wouldthink there are several willing candidates out there better than Haith.
“Missouri Basketball: Not a Complete Disaster” doesn’t sound like much of a promotional slogan.
Or even if I just like such as judged a fish contest that would get me outta the house and in some air.
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Apr 4, 2011 1:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Study: Pitchers more likely to 'bean' batters in hot weather
but only in retaliation.
Researchers speculated that the uncomfortable weather may make pitchers more likely to interpret the prior hit to their teammate as “deliberate and hostile” rather than accidental, and seek revenge.
“We found that heat does not lead to more aggression in general. Instead, heat affects a specific form of aggression. It increases retribution,” Richard Larrick, a management professor, said in a news release.
You gotta wonder how they came up with the idea to do this study in the first place.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
When it is cold out it hurts more to throw a punch.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
I don't get down to the ol' ball orchard all that often
but next time I do, I’d like to get some good pizza. Any suggestions?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Apr 4, 2011 12:23 PM EDT reply actions
At the ballpark itself? Pass on the pizza.
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
Yeah, I know LaRosa's is the only pie in the stadium
and I’ve heard less-than-glowing things about it.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Apr 4, 2011 12:32 PM EDT up reply actions
The sauce is sweet (not my thing) and there's about 40% more than is needed
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
I like a lot of sauce
but not too sweet. I’ll still give it a try, though. Even bad pizza is better than 90% of food.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Apr 4, 2011 12:36 PM EDT up reply actions
but won't they deliever it to your seat?
"Nobody hits Satchel." -Satchel Paige
by justin007000 on Apr 5, 2011 12:43 AM EDT up reply actions
I believe they will if you order a whole pie
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
In the ballpark, I'm pretty sure LaRosa's is your only choice. It's nothing special, but it works.
Outside the ballpark, my absolute favorite pizza of all time, ever, anywhere, like for REAL, is Dewey’s. Others here have hated on it, which makes me sad, but whatever. Closest location to the ballpark is at Newport on the Levee. Venice on Vine in OTR is good enough, plus it supports job training programs. I’ve heard good things about Lucy Blue but never had it.
by the finest muffins on Apr 4, 2011 12:30 PM EDT up reply actions
Dewey's isn't bad
Jets is better!
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
Dewey's is a pretty stout pie
We have one here in Columbus and I’ve been there a few times. It’s not the best I ever had, but it’s pretty good. I like the idea of parking in Newport, getting some pizza, and heading over to the game.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Apr 4, 2011 12:34 PM EDT up reply actions
Hound Dogs is easily the best pizza in Columbus.
Sketchy place, bad service, but the best god damn pizza.
by chazzilla on Apr 4, 2011 1:11 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
It's definitely in the conversation
for the atmosphere if nothing else.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Apr 4, 2011 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions
That place always makes me feel so sick.
But it’s always worth it.
by chazzilla on Apr 4, 2011 1:20 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I've had limited experience with Columbus pizza but . . .
Mikey’s Late Night Slice is pretty good if you can catch it at the right time. I’m a sucker for their Spicy Ass Pepperoni topping.
Never had it
I’ll put it on the list.
Anyone in the Columbus Crew remember the place we got that pizza from on Thursday? I can’t remember the name of the place. I was pleasantly surprised by that steakhouse pie.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Apr 4, 2011 1:33 PM EDT up reply actions
Casa di Pizza on McKinley
You can stop at Private Dancer after picking it up!
Calmer than you are.
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Apr 4, 2011 1:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Eh, I don't know
I’d likely run into Ash at Private Dancer, and that could be awkward after the brisket incident…
by Charlie Scrabbles on Apr 4, 2011 1:51 PM EDT up reply actions
I had brisket for lunch.
Hoggy’s is at Cardinal on Mondays.
It was good.
Calmer than you are.
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Apr 4, 2011 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Agreed, Chazzilla. I love me some Hound Dogs. And I don't find it that sketchy.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 4, 2011 4:46 PM EDT up reply actions
Nor do i. I dig Hound Dogs
for the pizza and the atmosphere.
Calmer than you are.
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Apr 5, 2011 8:52 AM EDT up reply actions
Yep, that exactly. Also, the Ravari Room has decent drink specials every now and then.
Terrible punk rock shows most of the time, though.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 5, 2011 11:09 AM EDT up reply actions
Venice on Vine is okay, but not fantastic even by Cincinnati standards.
At least you get the “feel good” feeling by supporting individuals trying to reform their lives unlike Lucy Blue which has nothing but Sbarro-like mediocrity. Pizza downtown just isn’t that great unless you’re doing something like Palomino’s Happy Hour special. If you’re already in OTR, just take Vine another mile or so north and grab some Adriatico’s in Clifton.
If you want the best pizza in the city, hit up Noce’s Montgomery location or go to Fratelli’s in West Chester.
Good to know.
I always see Lucy Blue on various “best” lists, but I’ve never been there.
by the finest muffins on Apr 4, 2011 12:57 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, if you're starving during lunch it's not a bad deal since they have all you can eat for $7.50
But only under that circumstance (and, I guess if I’m 3 sheets to the wind late at night and craving pizza) would I consider it.
Also, I agree that there's much better pizza in the Clifton/CUF area.
Adriatico’s, Pomodori, Mac’s, and another Dewey’s.
by the finest muffins on Apr 4, 2011 1:43 PM EDT up reply actions
Is Adriatico's a Columbus or Cincy place originally? It's in both towns.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 4, 2011 4:47 PM EDT up reply actions
I just got to Ohio (well, Cleveland. Close enough)
and I think I’m going to Dewey’s tonight! Good call!
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
Adriactico's
I have eaten at most of pizza places in Cincinnati and without a doubt I would recommend Adriactico’s pizza. Definetly get the large and never get the bearcat size.
link: http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/32/360026/restaurant/Clifton-Avondale/Adriaticos-Pizza-Cincinnati
by LyotardFactory on Apr 4, 2011 2:08 PM EDT up reply actions
Adriatico's is quite good, but be prepared to tailgate somewhere.
There’s no seating inside. It’s pick-up or delivery only.
I have actually ordered the Bearcat-sized pizza before, but only to feed 10+ college student volunteers. It’s certainly not meant for small groups!
by the finest muffins on Apr 4, 2011 2:55 PM EDT up reply actions
In Columbus wanna guess what Adriatico's calls it's "Bearcat" size pizza?
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 4, 2011 4:48 PM EDT up reply actions
The Cardinal? The Battling Bishop? The Big Red? The Panther? The Lord/Lady?
by the finest muffins on Apr 4, 2011 5:04 PM EDT up reply actions
Close, The Buckeye.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 4, 2011 5:09 PM EDT up reply actions
Is that one good
but ultimately a little corrupting to your system?
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Apr 4, 2011 6:15 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Pretty much, yeah. The Bearcat makes you vomit on the side of the road, though. So it's a toss-up.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 4, 2011 8:48 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm a Cardinal myself
but I’m really quite fond of the Battlin’ Bishops. That’s an imposing mascot.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Apr 4, 2011 8:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Please do
I’m curious about your drinking habits.
"OVERCHARGE, v. To ask a higher price than you can get." -Ambrose Bierce
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Apr 4, 2011 1:16 PM EDT up reply actions
I don't know much about local eateries.
But one thing I do know, is that the “help” at Arnies on the Levee saturday afternoon before the game was looking pretty good. Either that, or I was slightly intoxicated. I’m gonna go with a little of both.
STACHE SMASH!!!
Was it a set up or did she really not know he was going for it?
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
she really didn't know
She was disgusted and really pissed off.
And the guys in the booth, Michael Kay and Co., were also grossed out.
She also said the pork chop was cold – it was a prop, not meant to actually be eaten by anyone, so probably didn’t taste very good.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Kim Jones
really puts up with a lot. Everything from Cory Lidle’s kid telling her girls don’t belong in the clubhouse to Randy Johnson pouring beer after beer on her head when she was trying to interview him after the Yankees clinched the division.
People tend to assume she’s a bimbo, but she has a degree in journalism from Penn State and a master’s in Sports Science. She worked her way up, from covering college sports to Giants beat writer to her current position with YES. And she does understand the game. She also shuts up when something happens on the field, unlike the other YES announcers who tend to keep yapping.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Apr 4, 2011 5:15 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
This sounds eerily like the speech Natalie gives in the episode
“Mary Pat Shelby” of Sports Night.
by the finest muffins on Apr 4, 2011 11:19 PM EDT up reply actions
TWSS
Literally.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
someone posted an animated gif of it on Reddit
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
How did I know tl;dr was a Serious Eats sort of guy?
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
One of the Olson twins.
I think the sexier one.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
Bree?
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
by jch24 on Apr 5, 2011 3:41 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
A rec to both of you gentlemen.
Ft. Wayne, IN’s finest!
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 5, 2011 4:08 PM EDT up reply actions
My son is taking me to the game tomorrow night and we are going to be sitting in the big Boat thingy in CF
This will be my first experience going up on that monstrosity but I think it only fair to give a chance…to see what the game is like from that vantage point….before my people come in the middle of the night and destroy it.
"No way! They can come back, I know it!"
Alex Harrison
God's speed, Mads' people. God's speed.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 4, 2011 8:49 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
New place in the banks project just opened up across the street from the stadium
Cheaper drinks there than inside and it should become a great place to gather before and after ballgames this year
I've heard mixed things about the self-serving beer dispensers.
I’ll still go there a few times, but I’m really excited for the Moerlein Ale House that should be opening in a few months.
Oh, and for those who don’t like it due to their inconsistencies, it’s going to be brewed on site. #HATERINDAHOUSE
Yeah, at the very least they're going to have all the Moerlein family there:
Hudy, Little Kings, Schoenling, Christian Moerlein and . . . Burger?
Burger Beer....best served with pepper
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
Moerlein Lager House is going to be way better than Holy Grail.
I wouldn’t hold your breath for it to be open before the end of baseball season, however. People I’ve talked to involved in the project say November.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Until The Banks gets up and running fully(maybe longer), Newport On The Levee will be the place to go
Cheaper parking ($3 before 5:00 on the weekends), cheaper food/drink, more options, less congestion, more events.
At the Levee you have Brother’s, Bar Louie, Claddagh Irish Pub, Dewey’s Pizza, Brio Tuscan Grille, AOI Japanese, Bulldog’s, GameWorks, Johnny Rocket’s, Mitchell’s Fish Market, Hofbrauhaus, and Toro (I had never heard of this place until looking at the directory just now).
If the game wasn’t enough entertainment for you, there’s the Newport Aquarium, Star Lanes bowling, GameWorks, ShadowBox, Funny Bone, Arnie’s, Southgate House, Ride The Ducks river tours, Jefferson Hall, even Barnes & Noble if you wanna get your books on. There also seems to be a festival every other weekend down there during the summer.
This isn’t meant to come off as an advertisement for the Levee. I just think The Banks screwed around far too long and now faces a huge uphill battle.
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
i agree with this
also, i assume that everything at the banks for a couple of years is going to be too crowded to make it worthwhile.
FWIW, i strong don’t recommend Johnny Rocket’s
Me either, I just wanted to make sure to include all options
My personal opinions – Johnny Rocket’s sucks, Brother’s and Bar Louie food is mediocre, Mitchell’s is good but pricey, GameWorks food is passable, Hofbrauhaus is yummy but heavy (German, duh), Claddagh is pretty good, Dewey’s is Dewey’s, good. Haven’t eaten at Brio, AOI, Bulldog’s, or Toro.
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
Brio is good. Some dishes are pricey, but good.
Also, and I know they’re not in Newport, but Mad Hatter/Radiodown are not far away in Covington. The post-game entertainment options in NKY far exceed anything in Cincy.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 5, 2011 11:13 AM EDT up reply actions
if you like overrated, overpriced places with turrrrible parking
head to MAB&G
actually, i think i might go veggie burger when the HLM tour stop comes to town. mmmmmm, wheatgerm and oats!
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
Blech, Mount Adams Bar and Grill is gross.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Apr 5, 2011 2:11 PM EDT up reply actions
we need to publicize
that Opening Day is NOT the place to go either pregame or postgame.
once Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill opens that is sure to become the hot spot for RR’ers.
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
Opening Day probably isn't a good place to go during a game, either
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Apr 5, 2011 6:30 PM EDT up reply actions
Covington has free street parking available on residential streets after 5pm.
The walk across the Suspension Bridge is shorter than the Taylor Southgate, and there are better, cheaper bars like the Down Under, Keystone, Sidebar and Molly Malones. And, Molly’s has a free shuttle to all Reds and Bengals home games for those lazy types. I kind of irrationally hate Newport on the Levee for some reason.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Sidebar
My pregame spot
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
Their burgers are above average, and it is generally easy to find parking nearby.
Paying for parking for a Reds game is just silly. I found free street parking for the playoff game last year about an hour before first pitch, right at the bottom of Scott St. by Roebling Point.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
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