Red Reposter - Baseball out West is tough, but baseball in the Far East is tougher
by Charlie Scrabbles on Apr 12, 2011 11:01 AM EDT
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Mark Sheldon says the real JNMSotG last night was Ramon Hernandez
He caught two runners stealing and nailed the lead runner on a sacrifice bunt attempt (with a great snag by Rolen). In a close, low-scoring game, those precious few baserunners are especially important. The Padres only had eight baserunners all night, and Monie took care of almost half of them. -
Dusty hit a nice milestone last night
He is now the 11th manager in baseball history to tally 250 wins with three different clubs. Dusty was humorous and humble in his assessment of the achievement: "It's some pretty good company," Baker said after the game. "It was also pretty good company to be fired by a team or two to get to that third team. At least somebody wants to employ you. I just thank God I've been around this long and had the opportunity to get this situation." -
Johnny Cueto threw a bit in an extended spring training game yesterday
and reported no issues. He threw 34 pitches over two innings and will report to Louisville for a rehab start in Saturday. -
More injury news
Jose Arredondo made his debut in Carolina last night, striking out two in a scoreless inning. His rehab assignment can last up to 30 days, and I have to believe the Reds will take all the time they can with him. He's still working his back from Tommy John and they'll want to see him pitch as much as possible in the minors before they put him on the big league roster. Unless there is an injury in the Reds' bullpen, I wouldn't expect to see Arredondo at all until mid-May. -
Aaron Harang has worked a good bit with the Padres to regain his lost form
His first two starts of the season have been an unqualified success, as he's posted a 1.50 ERA so far. "When I got over here, we looked at a lot of stuff," he said. "I had a couple of good games last year. I had a game against Houston where I went seven and gave up one run. I don’t know if it was before or after I was hurt. But we looked at a couple of those games. The good games, not the bad ones. We saw such a difference mechanically from ’06, ’07 compared to the last year and the last couple of years." Part of me would have liked to see him face the Reds in this series, but the other part of me is glad we are missing him. I really want to see him succeed with the Padres, but obviously not at the Reds' expense.
Chris Sabo's Goggles equates that last loss to the Diamondbacks to last year's meltdown against the Braves
You remember, the one that ended with the grand slam by Brooks Conrad? "You know what I hate? Getting out of the car after a long, boring drive from Cincinnati to Chicago — with the Reds winning 5-0 — only to check the score an hour later and find that the Reds are losing 10-7." Hopefully last night's win in San Diego was sufficient to salve that anger.
Some of yous guys are totally in hate with Albert Pujols
and I get that. He absolutely kills our Reds and he's the best player on our biggest current rival. But man...I just can't bring myself to dislike this guy. He's just so...likeable. Check out this 60 Minutes profile of him that aired on Sunday.
Daedalus went to the Dodgers-Rockies game on the 5th
and came home with a bunch of beautiful pictures. It looks like a great place to catch a ballgame.
BtB's Power Rankings, previously administered by our boy JinAZ, have released their first edition of the new season
Our Redlegs come in at #6, behind the Phillies and Giants in the NL.
Nippon Professional Baseball celebrates Opening Day today
two weeks late. The devastating earthquake and subsequent tsunami and nuclear troubles led NPB officials to push the season back and impose a number of limitations. No games will continue after the 3.5 hour mark, which will invariably lead to a number of cumbersome ties. Many games have been rescheduled for the afternoon to conserve energy, and night games will be played under restricted lighting.
Many are hoping that baseball can rally the national zeitgeist, much like it did after the 1995 Kobe earthquake and after 9/11 in New York. But some are incredulous, like Kozo Abe of the Fuji-Sankei media group: "Watching baseball is not the first thing on anyone's mind in Tokyo either. The Japanese feeling at the moment is that they are not ready to root for the revival of Japanese baseball from the bottom of their heart."
NPB is in a really tough position here. It's imperative that life return to a semblance of normalcy, and that includes recreational escapism like baseball. But a number of folks are still living without electricity, clean water, and heat, and those things should really come before baseball on the list of priorities. I think this quote from Hiroki Allen, an equities trader in Tokyo, sums it up pretty well: "The 2011 quake was so large and the deaths were so many, this is going to be nothing like 9/11 or '95. Rakuten may be Tohoku's team ... but I don't see them becoming the rallying point for people in these trying times. It's going to take a long, long time for things to get back to normal. And for me, normal is beer and night baseball with all the electricity used for bright lights, neon signs, electronic scoreboards, blaring music and cute girls in miniskirts selling draft beer and octopus snacks. Until night baseball returns in force, I don't think we can say that the baseball season has really started."
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Cistulli’s NERD scores say that the Reds are the second-most fun team to watch so far, tied with…the Indians?
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
The Indians
are having an amazing season so far. For a team widely considered hopeless.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Too bad no one is there to see it
Or even if I just like such as judged a fish contest that would get me outta the house and in some air.
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Apr 12, 2011 12:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Damn Time Zones!
I just realized that the interview I thought I had at 11:00 was at 11:00 MOUNTAIN time. Time to while away two hours awkwardly…
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
I handle Environmental Insurance Litigation all over the country, and this happens to me all of the time.
It’s a LOT worse, however, when you are out drinking on a Friday night and your Blackberry goes off at 9pm as a mediation is finishing up in California and you have discuss legal issues while toasted.
Not that this has happened to me or anything.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. ~Homer Simpson
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Apr 12, 2011 12:34 PM EDT up reply actions
I drank a bunch of coffee this AM to be awake for the interview
after staying up for the game last night. And now I couldn’t get a catnap in before the interview.
I have the best unemployed dude problems.
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
by Cy Schourek on Apr 12, 2011 12:37 PM EDT up reply actions
You're lucky it's not the other way around.
I was supposed to interview someone via phone for a job here in DC. She was in central time, forgot about the time difference, and wasn’t there when we called for her interview.
I was nice enough to reschedule, but that certainly didn’t reflect well.
by the finest muffins on Apr 12, 2011 1:06 PM EDT up reply actions
I've had that happen too.
Hilariously, it was one of our best attorneys who made the mistake. I’ve been getting free stuff sent to me as apologies ever since.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. ~Homer Simpson
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Apr 12, 2011 2:20 PM EDT up reply actions
I don't know if I would have forgotten about this otherwise
but I’m glad I was reminded of this! I got an e-mail from a recruiter in Chicago today and I made sure to be extra clear about time zones.
Still not a candidate.
NPB's situation in this case is not unique
Baseball has been used effectively in this country for a long history of providing pablum to an otherwise sour situation.
Even the non-essential season of 1918 was at least played, though shortened.
Lots of things were canceled during WW2, but not baseball. And it gave us Pete Gray and a Cubs pennant.
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
I think they're at least in a bit of a catch-22
you want them to play as a distraction for the citizens, to take their minds off things, but there’s also the energy-use issue.
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
I think the magnitude of the destruction makes the NPB situation very unique
There’s no comparing what’s just happened to WWI or WWII. Even the destruction from 9/11 can’t compare.
The Yankees Giants sure come off as jerks in that article.
Of course, all situations are unique
In the case of the U.S., both world wars were on foreign soil so there was no wanton destruction. Rationing was across the board. It was for sensible reasons, as well.
We cannot imagine, no matter how hard we try, the scope of this tragedy. They will be months, years, getting back to normal now. If ever.
Whatever normal is, as the man put it … beer and women in short skirts. Playing ball seems peculiar when we realize that entire cities were wiped out by this tsunami.
I agree that the Giants come off as cold and obtuse.
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
x
"Nobody hits Satchel." -Satchel Paige
by justin007000 on Apr 12, 2011 4:19 PM EDT up reply actions
"Cute girls in miniskirts selling draft beer and octopus snacks"
Here in America we get…..
On the bright side, no octopus snacks (are those snacks for your pet octopus?)
Or even if I just like such as judged a fish contest that would get me outta the house and in some air.
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Apr 12, 2011 11:36 AM EDT reply actions
This really should have been a picture of Mesoraco
by Brendanukkah on Apr 12, 2011 11:44 AM EDT up reply actions
I was pretty disappointed it wasn't
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
by Cy Schourek on Apr 12, 2011 11:50 AM EDT up reply actions
He is in the next aisle over, deciding on shampoos.
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
by johnu1 on Apr 12, 2011 11:52 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
So, when was the last time you saw that many Cheez-Its in one spot?
Cheesh, this is a tough crowd.
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
So welcome home.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Apr 12, 2011 12:52 PM EDT up reply actions
shouldn't that have been
“Cheez, this is a tough crowd” ?
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
by UncleWeez on Apr 12, 2011 12:03 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Slyde's basement, the night before his book deadline
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
by jch24 on Apr 12, 2011 12:16 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I was taking to my taxi driver in New York City last week
he was just a slip of a kid, 21 years old, driving a taxi part-time to put himself through college.
He said he was a concession guy at Yankee Stadium the summer before, but they told him to work full-time there or not to show up at all. When he explained that he was taking summer school to finish his degree, they told him he ought to quit school and be a full-time beer seller. What kind of fucked up is that?
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
by Cy Schourek on Apr 12, 2011 11:53 AM EDT up reply actions
The worst part is that if he turns out to be the best young beer seller they've seen in while...
…they’ll still trade him to Oakland for a more accomplished, more experienced beer seller.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Apr 12, 2011 12:56 PM EDT up reply actions
not just that
i had a buddy at the grocery store i worked, and the store director wanted to make him a manager. They were talking in the store directors office, and my buddy said the only way he could do it would be if the store still let him work hours around his classes. The store director said “What is your major?” he said “Molecular Chemistry.” the store director said “What does that have to do with retail?”.
"Nobody hits Satchel." -Satchel Paige
by justin007000 on Apr 12, 2011 4:22 PM EDT up reply actions
It's a fair question.
"Изтегляне на нов президент .. и този ангажимент и визията, който е прекарал седем континента, включително четирима служители."
x
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Apr 12, 2011 11:55 AM EDT up reply actions
I'd say it's probably not team policy
But the vendors are probably contract workers anyhow.
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
How is that a full time job anyway?
Is there really stuff to do 40 hours a week?
Still not a candidate.
I'd assume it's an hour pre-game and post-game to set up, give or take
so 5 hours * 6 games = 30. It’s probably not full-time as we’d consider it, but as john said, it’s contract workers anyways. They’re hardly unionized. You could see how it would be enough to interfere with a school schedule, though.
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
by Cy Schourek on Apr 12, 2011 12:03 PM EDT up reply actions
It seems like it would be easy to work a school schedule around that
Just take morning classes.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Apr 12, 2011 12:07 PM EDT up reply actions
but
they only play half their games at home.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Plus, when I did that job (a long time ago), it was pretty much 100% commission
You earned 15% of what you sold, unless that fell under minimum wage for the week (in which case, they’d pay you minimum wage and then fire you).
So, if Yankee stadium operates the same way, at today’s prices, I figure you would make $21.60 per case of beer sold (assuming $6 per bottle). Sell 8 cases of beer, and you make $172.80, which isn’t too shabby for 4 hours of work. Of course, with only 81 games, that’s a cool 14 grand a year – not enough to live on in NYC.
Or even if I just like such as judged a fish contest that would get me outta the house and in some air.
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Apr 12, 2011 12:23 PM EDT up reply actions
If I'm paying $7.75 a bottle in Cincinnati, I'm guessing it's more like $110.50 in NYC
$6 seems a little low.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. ~Homer Simpson
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Apr 12, 2011 12:36 PM EDT up reply actions
yeah
I think they charge $12, but it’s a big bottle – 24 oz.
At least you can drink in the bleacher seats now. It used to be banned.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Holy shit
I had no idea the prices had gotten so high. I never drink at the ballpark, so I never pay any attention.
At $12 a bottle, you could probably do alright in the summer (of course, you would probably sell fewer beers). You would absolutely need another job the rest of the year, though.
Or even if I just like such as judged a fish contest that would get me outta the house and in some air.
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Apr 12, 2011 12:47 PM EDT up reply actions
its only $7 for 16 oz. at Citi Field
and they have an awesome “Beers of the World” pavilion in center field.
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
by Cy Schourek on Apr 12, 2011 12:51 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah that pavilion is great
Plus Blue Smoke sells their own ale at their stand. It’s really good and not that expensive. $8 I think.
"Penus, stale beer, and day old hot dogs. Love it"--justin007000
Can you sell 8 cases of beer?
Some days, yes. I think it depends on the section you’re selling. Some areas, with a lot of families, might be tough to sell 4 cases. Others, where the morans hang out, you could sell 10.
But do the vendors get to choose where they sell? If not, it seems a pecking order is in place. Or a shark fight.
I think I’d be pretty tired after a night of this gig.
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
You gotta be in able to hustle while carrying a fairly heavy load for 3-4 hours
It will wear you out if you are not in shape – it would probably kill me today.
Back in the day, choosing your own spot was a perk awarded to the top vendors (a perk that tended to cause them to continue to be on top).
One of the key elements is “vendor density” – it behooves the employer to field as many vendors as possible, while the individual vendor is better off with less competiton. Early in the year, there are generally more vendors, and then as the season goes on the crappy ones quit, and it’s a little easier to make money (unless the team sucks and attendance collapses – porbably not an issue at Yankee Stadium).
Or even if I just like such as judged a fish contest that would get me outta the house and in some air.
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Apr 12, 2011 1:06 PM EDT up reply actions
I was always interested ....
I recall being at games where folks complained the vendor would run out of beer on the top three rows and never get down to them. Natch, you’d want to sell out as fast as you could, I guess, if your profit depended on it.
So having vendors who would go right past guaranteed sales to service the folks further down who had developed a sincere and monumental thirst … I guess there is more to the art than just yelling co beah heah.
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
it seems like a miserable job.
"Nobody hits Satchel." -Satchel Paige
by justin007000 on Apr 12, 2011 4:23 PM EDT up reply actions
That is how you make it in business.
Quit college.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
by BigBabyBruce on Apr 12, 2011 12:24 PM EDT up reply actions
This seems like as good a spot as any:
Through 9 games, Mike Morse is 4 for 27, 3 BB/9 K, with zero extra base hits.
His slash line is .148/.250/.148.
Ouch.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Apr 12, 2011 12:06 PM EDT reply actions
This really should be a FanPost
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds and The MSP Reds Annual today!
it should really be a tweet.
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
by Cy Schourek on Apr 12, 2011 12:12 PM EDT up reply actions
I'd prefer if it was sent via telegram
or maybe smoke signal
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
this is why RR will be the death of me
I feel compelled to write something like that instead of doing work. Lock it up, Weez.
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
shouldn't you have said Morse code?
"i would’ve just been like. Votto rapes all, cubs suck and cards are WLBs." -- Big Stein
by GrooveLeg on Apr 12, 2011 12:13 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
nailed it.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Apr 12, 2011 12:14 PM EDT up reply actions
ya know, I actually thought about it
but the discussion had gotten so far away from Mike Morse that I forgot what we were talking about.
/typical day at RR’d
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
ha!
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Apr 12, 2011 12:56 PM EDT up reply actions
I like flags.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
by BigBabyBruce on Apr 12, 2011 12:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Not that there's anything wrong with that
"Penus, stale beer, and day old hot dogs. Love it"--justin007000
Hater.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
by BigBabyBruce on Apr 12, 2011 12:30 PM EDT up reply actions
I think it had something to do with me saying "I like flags".
Which if you are not reading, could sound like something else. He may not have meant to reply to you.
That is all I can come up with. I love Seinfeld.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
by BigBabyBruce on Apr 12, 2011 12:41 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm betting if he likes flags, he's left
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
American Flag.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
by BigBabyBruce on Apr 12, 2011 12:48 PM EDT up reply actions
Not for nothin', but...
My father was a radio operator in WWII and was trained in semaphore and morse code. I myself am certified by the government at 40 WPM in morse code as part of the amateur radio license I got at age 13.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Apr 12, 2011 1:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Jonny Gomes vs RHP
5 for 20, 9BB/6K, 1 2B, 2 HR
Slash line – .250/.467/.600
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
Stop saying awesome things.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
by BigBabyBruce on Apr 12, 2011 12:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Daedalus
has a really good eye.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
CREDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSS
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
by UncleWeez on Apr 12, 2011 12:17 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Wait a minute
We can tell him what to do?
Strip to your underwear and sing I’m A Little Teapot, son.
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
I'm a little teapot. Blow me.
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
by UncleWeez on Apr 12, 2011 12:53 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
Seems like the reverse of what typically happens here.
Dunno, I just have a weird imagination.
Or a stronger sense of reality.
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
Yer gonna need a bigger cup.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Apr 12, 2011 1:04 PM EDT up reply actions
the line of purple seats is exactly one mile high, correct?
It looks really cool in an empty park.
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
by Cy Schourek on Apr 12, 2011 12:16 PM EDT up reply actions
what is that mascot?
A cow?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
a purple dinosaur
Barney if designed by comittee.
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
by Cy Schourek on Apr 12, 2011 12:24 PM EDT up reply actions
okay, I get it
It’s a ceratopsian of some sort. The cockroach of the Cretaceous!
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I don't care if Albert Pujols carries an orphange on his back across a busy highway to save it from burning down, I will still hate him
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
woah woah woah. That makes no sense.
Why would carrying the orphanage across the highway save it from burning? Is the fire department on the other side? If so, why not just bring the firehoses to the building instead of vice versa?
Your story if full of holes, mister.
"Penus, stale beer, and day old hot dogs. Love it"--justin007000
go get some work done, son
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
by Cy Schourek on Apr 12, 2011 12:26 PM EDT up reply actions
This period's class is on a field trip today. You've got me for another 40 minutes!
"Penus, stale beer, and day old hot dogs. Love it"--justin007000
There's a sex joke in there somewhere but I can't find it
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
I'm subbing special ed
I ain’t goin nowhere.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
by BigBabyBruce on Apr 12, 2011 12:29 PM EDT up reply actions
There's a sex joke in there somewhere but I can't find it
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
by jch24 on Apr 12, 2011 12:30 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
FTFY
I’m rubbing Special Ed, but it’s going nowhere.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Apr 12, 2011 1:12 PM EDT up reply actions
FTFY
This class’s period is on a field trip today. You’ve got no cramps for another 40 minutes!
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Apr 12, 2011 1:12 PM EDT up reply actions
To get it away from the pyromaniac chicken, duh
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
Thank you for using three of the twelve Spanish words I actually know and saving me a trip to google
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
Papas Fritas.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
by BigBabyBruce on Apr 12, 2011 12:31 PM EDT up reply actions
Speaking of which
This is a lot of fun if you have some time to kill.
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
without even reading this link
I can tell there’s a sex joke in there somewhere.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Apr 12, 2011 12:37 PM EDT up reply actions
How will Chris Carpenter explain that to his son?
Becomes: It can be explained in kurisukapenta?
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. ~Homer Simpson
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Apr 12, 2011 3:02 PM EDT up reply actions
i like this site
i just put “my favorite thing to do is watch the reds play baseball” through 40 translations, and got back “many of them wanted to play baseball in canada”
where the hell did canada come from?
"The St. Louis Cardinals are whiny little bitches"
20 translations later:
“St. Louis Cardinals bitch and moan”
Some things are just universal across all languages
Or even if I just like such as judged a fish contest that would get me outta the house and in some air.
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Apr 12, 2011 12:51 PM EDT up reply actions
I put in "Go screw yourself"
50 translations later, I got “If you believe”
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
I'm addicted to this
“Pete Thamel likes to butt rape young boys.” 50 translations later = “Power performance, fuel economy Thames.”
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
I put in the opening sentence of the Gettysburg address
and in 56 translations, got:
“Download the new Chairman. It. Commitment to the vision and the seven continents, including four Officers.”
Which is pretty awesome.
Or even if I just like such as judged a fish contest that would get me outta the house and in some air.
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Apr 12, 2011 12:55 PM EDT up reply actions
So...
“I can not stop shitting” after 10 translations is “I can not stop fucking”
I love this website
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
Last one
“You shut your whore mouth” after 50 translations is simply “Woman”
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
I lied
" Sixteen in the clip and one in the hole, Nate Dogg is about to make some bodies turn cold."
50 translations later = “Age, address and day 16 hours cold.”
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
Bitch, give me my money
becomes I have two years to earn money
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
Surprisingly
Cleveland steamer 50 translations later is also Cleveland steamer
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
"Whatcha gonna do wit all dat junk"
becomes “Bravo!”
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
After 50 translations
Marmot America Mamottomamotto trees and eat more.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
by BigBabyBruce on Apr 12, 2011 1:14 PM EDT up reply actions
"People are bastard covered bastards with bastard filling"
10 translations
People are bastard, asshole asshole oil
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
"The Cardinals are whiny little bitches"
became “Cardinals and I am a slut”
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
Our outfielder had an imaginary friend named Farney who liked to drink.
55 translations later:
Recent was a friend of this type.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Apr 12, 2011 1:45 PM EDT up reply actions
"Go Reds! They are my favorite team!" ...40 translations later we get: "Reddogo! This is my favorite band!"
by bringbackthemayor on Apr 12, 2011 2:00 PM EDT up reply actions
Why do I just know
Justin’s attempts at this are going to produce emotional frolicking.
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
You should have heard Reddogo's earlier stuff
by Brendanukkah on Apr 12, 2011 2:12 PM EDT up reply actions
I liked Reddogo before they got translated
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
by UncleWeez on Apr 12, 2011 2:32 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
"Unfortunately, the pitching." becomes, after fifty, "I have memories."
Born Small... Now Huge... Winning... Bring it..!
/Mitch Williams'd
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Apr 12, 2011 4:07 PM EDT up reply actions
not to open a whole new can of worms or anything
but this is a great example of why i’m not so sure about the accuracy of biblical translations.
So
“this is a great example of why i’m not so sure about the accuracy of biblical translations.”
50 translations later
“I do not believe that the Bible is a good example.”
You obviously hate Jesus when translated 50 times…
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
"Red Reporter is the best site on the internet"
56 translations later?
“Author of the best lines of Network News.”
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
"Bailey and Cueto might be hurt, but we have LeCure."
50 translations later?
“It is said that the meeting kuetoneun disease.”
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
I hate Jesus without 50 translations
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
that becomes
I do not want to be 50
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
welp, looks like jch is gettin smote before he hits the half-century mark
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
"I'm holding it for a friend." ...30 translations later we get: "I love my girlfriend."
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
Dutch Door Intruder
50 translations later
Dutch Security
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
I also put
Go screw yourself and 40 later, it’s
If You Think
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
Scarily accurate...
“jch24 did not father that child.”
…30 translations later we get:
“Jch24 father.”
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
...jch
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Apr 12, 2011 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Not many people would try Dutch Door Intruder
so that’s clever.
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
What the heck does that symbol even mean?
“Paul Janish will win the 2011 MVP”
…30 translations later we get:
“Paul Janish ₩ players more value 2.011”
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
Even with that, you have detractors
PJ’s worth is far from established.
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
"This one belongs to the Reds"
becomes, after 20 translations, “I belong to Liverpool.”
by the finest muffins on Apr 12, 2011 1:28 PM EDT up reply actions
My signature might need to change...
“People don’t kill people, burning oreo packages kill people.”
…30 translations later we get:
“Death is death by fire Oreopakkeji humans.”
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
LOL, my signature is:
For all, or if you do not drink, but when
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. ~Homer Simpson
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Apr 12, 2011 3:04 PM EDT up reply actions
I always knew Marty was a damn Redcoat
Limey bastard
Or even if I just like such as judged a fish contest that would get me outta the house and in some air.
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Apr 12, 2011 1:28 PM EDT up reply actions
And Joe's signature phrase, now.
“This is the old lefthander, rounding third and heading for home,” after 40 translations becomes, “Oh, and Ron was third.”
by the finest muffins on Apr 12, 2011 1:29 PM EDT up reply actions
Raven Riley'd
Or even if I just like such as judged a fish contest that would get me outta the house and in some air.
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Apr 12, 2011 1:30 PM EDT up reply actions
"Can't we all just get along?"
50 translations later
Our fees are included?
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
"Go, Reds! They're my favorite team. "
…50 translations later we get:
“Reddog! This is my favorite.”
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Apr 12, 2011 1:50 PM EDT up reply actions
I think I could have told you that.
Try it again without the punctuation. (Seriously)
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
Bronson Arroyo has open sores on his penis from too much fucking.
56 translations later
Bronson Arroyo. The case has thrown a bone.
"i would’ve just been like. Votto rapes all, cubs suck and cards are WLBs." -- Big Stein
I can see how the translator might get confused
That’s just not a commonly stated fact.
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
"I can't get it up"
“I could not refuse”.
"Nobody hits Satchel." -Satchel Paige
by justin007000 on Apr 12, 2011 5:27 PM EDT up reply actions
The fact that I celebrated my 34th birthday should in a history book somewhere
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
Teehee.
So maybe what God meant instead of “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
is “If you can move the neighbors. In addition, food animals and that the president and his wife, neighbors and hip effects.”
"I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery"
aka the 1st commandment, becomes after 20 translations:
“I am the Lord your God, I got the house of bondage in Egypt”.
Kinky
Or even if I just like such as judged a fish contest that would get me outta the house and in some air.
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Apr 12, 2011 1:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Man shall not lay down with man, lest we need to stone him for his flair with decorating. God says it is so.
becometh:
It also sets the color of the stone sets and home furnishings. God called.
No phone number was listed.
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Apr 12, 2011 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions
Which becomes, after 50 translations.
“I wonder if she will die.”
by the finest muffins on Apr 12, 2011 1:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Penus
56 translations later…impotence
by vottomatic on Apr 12, 2011 1:40 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
You do, and I'll rub your nose in it
Or in other words, nope.
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
hahaha, just looked it up and my response actually works
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
French Fries
I just like how it sounds.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
by BigBabyBruce on Apr 12, 2011 12:36 PM EDT up reply actions
“Cubs win the World Series.”
…50 translations later we get:
“Cubs win the World Cup.”
"Nobody hits Satchel." -Satchel Paige
by justin007000 on Apr 12, 2011 5:24 PM EDT up reply actions
Or this
Original text:
“Cubs again miss out on the pennant.”
…56 translations later we get:
“When the ball disappeared.”
"Изтегляне на нов президент .. и този ангажимент и визията, който е прекарал седем континента, включително четирима служители."
by johnu1 on Apr 12, 2011 5:36 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
/Bartman'd
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Apr 12, 2011 7:10 PM EDT up reply actions
I would assume that a fire was approaching the orphanage.
However, I think I fully support Pujols carrying a burning building across a major highway. The least we could hope for is that he burns his back, making it incredibly painful, to swing the bat. The only downside to that is it could make his swing so bad that he misses the ball altogether. That would result in strikeouts instead of GIDPs.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill
by BigBabyBruce on Apr 12, 2011 12:29 PM EDT up reply actions
plus there's also the chance he gets hit by a semi
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
And try to give us some insight on
a. who’s in the building
b. what caused the fire
c. pets, antiques, etc.
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
Locator map as well
Is this a state highway or a county road?
Do they have adequate insurance and access to strong legal counsel?
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
I might be sensitive ...
some film interviews with frustrated, hopeful relatives and friends, all sobbing and telling the TV interviewer that they “never give up hope because we’ve been taught to be tough during hard times. This is a gritty community and we all stick together, even though sometimes we disagree.”
Announcer: "Just out of the reach of Berkman"
If by memo you mean penis, you got it
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
unless he drops it on Carpenter
Let's not kid ourselves. It's really, really, bad.
by Cy Schourek on Apr 12, 2011 12:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Something else for you to waste time reading
The 25 dumbest tweets of 2010.
"I'm telling you, my other poo story is much better." -- btcoop71
In other news
Brodie Greene has a twitter now too. @bgreenie4
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
BP's sister was drafted into the WNBA (what's that?) yesterday
3rd round pick. His family must be amazing.
LTP is for Stubbs only!
She's pretty impressive.
She led the SEC in rebounding and FT % and she’s sixth in blocks. I guess defense runs in the family.
everyone but his brother, Tyrone...
"i would’ve just been like. Votto rapes all, cubs suck and cards are WLBs." -- Big Stein
by GrooveLeg on Apr 12, 2011 1:45 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
You should phone a friend
But you can’t use my phone!
by Brendanukkah on Apr 12, 2011 2:18 PM EDT up reply actions
I desperately wish there was one Tyrone in the Reds system
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Apr 12, 2011 6:26 PM EDT up reply actions
It's kind of a shame that there's only one active player (minor or major leagues) that has a middle name we could use this with.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Apr 12, 2011 6:32 PM EDT up reply actions
Can someone point me in the direction of some park adjustment factors?
Where does baseball-reference show a listing for all teams? Or is there a better site?
thanks much.
I'm not sure this is really what you want either
but Seamheads has a nice database of ballparks with both 3-year and 1-year park factors (never use the 1-year park factors though). Here’s GABP.
Also, StatCorner has regressed park factors, including for the minor leagues. Here’s the Louisville Bats.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds and The MSP Reds Annual today!
Thanks Slyde
This was kind of what I was looking for. Agreed that 1-yr park factors can bounce all over the place as shown in the ones by ESPN. I guess what I was hoping to find was an aggregated listing of ballparks and not each team in a separate location.
One last one
Here are 5-year park factors posted by the guy that goes by Patriot. Because they are 5-year and are based on 2 past years, the year in question, and 2 future years, they stop in 2008 though. Here is his explanation.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds and The MSP Reds Annual today!
This is good. Thanks.
Good explanation too. It’s amazing how much Coors’ park factor has come down since the mid ’90s. I suppose this is due to everyone building new ballparks that are more hitter friendly.
Wanna feel all tingly inside?
Read this fangraphs article about Votto.
The gist is that pitchers are (naturally) pitching around him, and he’s just taking the bad pitches and waiting for his pitch. If it never comes, he walks.
SSS and all, but damn if I ever bet against Joey Votto again.
"Penus, stale beer, and day old hot dogs. Love it"--justin007000
Every hitter in the league would like to try this.
Very few of them have the tools.
This is what separates guys who are trivia questions from the ones we discuss when the Hall of Fame voting comes around.
Now, if we can get Stubbs and Bruce to actually HIT the strikes, we might become the National League Central Division Champions.
"Download the new Chairman. It. Commitment to the vision and the seven continents, including four Officers."
Adam Dunn's back in the lineup.
I guess he really wanted to beat Matt Holiday at coming-back-after-an-appendectomy.
That guy hates baseball
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds and The MSP Reds Annual today!
Does an appendectomy cause erectile dysfunction?
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds and The MSP Reds Annual today!
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