Fayman's Terms: The First 30(ish) Days
by FordhamRam on Mar 14, 2011 7:39 PM EDT
Email
PrintIt's been fairly well documented that a number of us in the RR Universe love Twitter. This love may not be as unconditional as the amorous feelings we display for our Favorite Team™, but it's enough to keep us entertained in class or at work. That being said, while on Twitter, quite a few of us have frequently sought the counsel of our Cracked Dojo Beat Reporter John Fay. It is only proper that his wisdom be shared amongst the masses.
Depending on how well this first installment is received, I will post select Tweets from our Sportswriting Sophist every month until 1) I retreat from existence to study for the bar or 2) Fay simply decides to stop answering our absurd Tweets. Until that day comes though, I give you a children's treasury of Fayman's Terms:
Postscript: this is my first fan post. I would appreciate either constructive criticism or false praise . . . so long as I didn't do anything that would end up getting me banned.
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this fanpost would be better with hand drawn john fay portraits
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Mar 14, 2011 10:49 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
This is awesome...
I almost want to create a Twitter account to join in on the fun.
"I am on a drug," Sheen told ABC. "It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off, and your children will weep over your exploded body."
Done and done.
"I am on a drug," Sheen told ABC. "It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off, and your children will weep over your exploded body."
by Corky's Stache on Mar 14, 2011 10:08 PM EDT up reply actions
tk0485
"I am on a drug," Sheen told ABC. "It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off, and your children will weep over your exploded body."
by Corky's Stache on Mar 15, 2011 7:13 AM EDT up reply actions
Well that's certainly easy to remember
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
If that's the case
I just signed up for this trash yesterday so I will just make a couple different accounts if I want. Something like @RRnycredsfan sounds good…..
"I am on a drug," Sheen told ABC. "It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off, and your children will weep over your exploded body."
by Corky's Stache on Mar 15, 2011 1:25 PM EDT up reply actions
cool
I’ve been looking for an excuse to change my handle. I kinda hate mine anyway.
"Penus, stale beer, and day old hot dogs. Love it"--justin007000
i heard @tk0485 is available...if you're interested.
"I am on a drug," Sheen told ABC. "It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off, and your children will weep over your exploded body."
by Corky's Stache on Mar 15, 2011 2:48 PM EDT up reply actions
it's easy for me to remember
"I am on a drug," Sheen told ABC. "It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off, and your children will weep over your exploded body."
by Corky's Stache on Mar 15, 2011 1:08 PM EDT up reply actions
Me too!
Shit, you’re not supposed to use your user name as your password are you?
"I am on a drug," Sheen told ABC. "It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off, and your children will weep over your exploded body."
by Corky's Stache on Mar 15, 2011 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions
My password is hunter2
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
PFW, my friend
This fanpost has tigerblood!
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
I'm really surprised he has a good sense of humor dealing with all you chuckleheads
Press spacebar to die!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Mar 14, 2011 10:20 PM EDT reply actions
well at the end of the day he has a dream job
how many of us would love to spend the summer actually following our favorite baseball team. He is a Cincinnati boy, who grew up and is the a Cincinnati Reds beat writer.
We are all schmucky the clown. I am pretty sure if I were John Fay I would smile everyday.
What if I am John Fay? What if all the pictures i put up were from random guys photo bucket.
Red Reporter: Driving that train high on cocaine.
by justin007000 on Mar 15, 2011 2:50 AM EDT up reply actions
indeed.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Mar 15, 2011 9:00 PM EDT up reply actions
John Fay blocked me on twitter
But I see he is still as unintentionally hilarious as ever.
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
How big of an ass do you hate to be for Fay to block you?
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
I think it was this
You missed it b/c Fay spelled it Giffrye rJ RT I blame @johnfayman RT @ntaulbee20 @Jamieblog I was surprised Griffey Jr didn’t make the list
7 Mar
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
Wow, that's not bad
Maybe he was just in a pissy mood that day.
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
Probably
I tend to piss people off a great deal though.
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
You don't have to tell me, asshole!
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
Teh Fay
needs to spend less time on Twitter and more time with a dictionary…..or a remedial English class. Just brutal.
Swanson Pyramid of Greatness
Handshakes — Firm, Dry, Solid. 3 seconds.
by cesarhernandez on Mar 15, 2011 11:32 AM EDT reply actions
We are all aware that the guy has a legitimate disability right?
Just like our friend jsutin?
Press spacebar to die!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Mar 15, 2011 11:47 AM EDT up reply actions
They told him he could be anything he wanted. So he became a journalist.
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
by crolfer on Mar 15, 2011 11:53 AM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
Yeah, I feel for him on twitter. Lots of good spellers make mistakes on there
But the fact that his blog posts are even worse makes me have no sympathy for him.
"Penus, stale beer, and day old hot dogs. Love it"--justin007000
that's not true
there is no excuse to still have a blackberry
by 'tHan on Mar 15, 2011 12:34 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I can see Flash animation on my Blackberry, so both of you can suck it!
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
Wait, that's not neccessarily a plus
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
I still have a BlackBerry
But I’m on the waiting list for an iPhone through Verizon. I get a huge discount through them that’s worth dealing with a BB.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. ~Homer Simpson
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Mar 15, 2011 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions
same with me
I’ve got a Tour, which is perfectly fine and I love it….so long as I don’t think about owning an Android.
My plan’s up in June, and thankfully it appears that Verizon will let me switch.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Mar 15, 2011 3:10 PM EDT up reply actions
It's on my personal account waiting list
I’m not eligible for a new free one yet.
Sorry, should have been more specific.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. ~Homer Simpson
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Mar 16, 2011 8:31 AM EDT up reply actions
While this is true, it is no excuse for not getting it right.
He could proofread. He could use a program that assisted his grammar. He could have an intern correct each post as it goes out. There are many solutions.
I have my own difficulties, but I compensate for them, and am diligent about it. I honestly wonder if he even cares that his audience is turned off by his lack of diligence in this regard.
I CHUBB WHEN STUBBS CLUBBS!
by PeteyHendrix on Mar 15, 2011 12:52 PM EDT up reply actions
oh, he clearly doesn't care.
If he cared even one bit it would get better. If anything, it’s gotten worse.
"Penus, stale beer, and day old hot dogs. Love it"--justin007000
"I have my own difficulties, but I compensate for them, and am diligent about it."
Different sock stuffed down there every day, eh?
/sickburn’d
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
by jch24 on Mar 15, 2011 2:45 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
I know what you like.
I CHUBB WHEN STUBBS CLUBBS!
by PeteyHendrix on Mar 15, 2011 3:10 PM EDT up reply actions
do you want me to pass him a note in gym class?
Red Reporter: Driving that train high on cocaine.
by justin007000 on Mar 15, 2011 3:11 PM EDT up reply actions
The rare moments that cause me to laugh out loud
just included this one.
THANKS.
"If you don’t like it, play worse." -- THE STACHE
Is it true?
I’ve heard a lot of people say this, but I haven’t seen, y’know, a source for it.
Also, let’s not forget the fact that iPads and iPhones underline misspelled words for yuo!
There are some things some people shouldn't do
I would never choose a job that requires that type of public writing that won’t go through an editor first.
Just as the Reds will never draft a catcher without hands.
Red Reporter: Driving that train high on cocaine.
by justin007000 on Mar 15, 2011 3:10 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
We signed a center fielder who had no ....
Wait, let me think. He didn’t have a … either that or …
"If you don’t like it, play worse." -- THE STACHE
who had no...ability to put down the pipe?
…ability to get one base?
…ability to romance Dusty’s daughter?
I CHUBB WHEN STUBBS CLUBBS!
by PeteyHendrix on Mar 15, 2011 5:12 PM EDT up reply actions
yep, all those things and more
plus, too boote, he was a teribble speller.
"I tend to piss people off a great deal though." -- BTCoop71
Excellent
Following Fya on twitter is endless amusement. Voley’s BP question and the Tide one still make me laugh.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. ~Homer Simpson
Vole's BP comment and boob's comment about white bread are my two favorites
"Penus, stale beer, and day old hot dogs. Love it"--justin007000
vole's comment always makes me laugh, too
that guys is hilarious and awesome! could stand to lose a few pounds though.
I disagree, that's just more cushion for the pushin'
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
Not all of them, but quite a few.
Some of Fays answers were so fantastic that they had to be added, regardless of the tweeter’s activity on RR. Likewise, the question regarding “Flakes” was so out of left field that it warranted mentioning.
Eho the hell is flakes, anyway?
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
I think he might mean Cordero
As in Coco Flakes . . . which sounds like a cheap knockoff version of Cocoa Krispies . . . which may have been marginally humorous if executed correctly.
i was thinking it was Fred Lewis
but i think a lot of shit that ain’t right.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Mar 15, 2011 9:06 PM EDT up reply actions
According to B-R, there are three people named Flake that played MLB.
One, Glenn Flake, played for the Reds in the 60’s.
Another, Stephen Flake, 27, is floundering in the independent league.
Finally, there’s someone who simply went by Flake (like Madonna or Sting) that played for Siloam Springs in 1934.
Maybe they're voling us.
I CHUBB WHEN STUBBS CLUBBS!
by PeteyHendrix on Mar 19, 2011 1:41 AM EDT up reply actions
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