It's been fairly well documented that a number of us in the RR Universe love Twitter. This love may not be as unconditional as the amorous feelings we display for our Favorite Team™, but it's enough to keep us entertained in class or at work. That being said, while on Twitter, quite a few of us have frequently sought the counsel of our Cracked Dojo Beat Reporter John Fay. It is only proper that his wisdom be shared amongst the masses.

Depending on how well this first installment is received, I will post select Tweets from our Sportswriting Sophist every month until 1) I retreat from existence to study for the bar or 2) Fay simply decides to stop answering our absurd Tweets. Until that day comes though, I give you a children's treasury of Fayman's Terms:

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Postscript: this is my first fan post. I would appreciate either constructive criticism or false praise . . . so long as I didn't do anything that would end up getting me banned.