On the Winter Meetings and Frustration
"The Reds have no money and are talking to no one."
This is a refrain that, though factually inaccurate, has become the rallying cry of resignation for this off-season. Sure, the Reds have a little money, and yes, they are talking to a number of folks about possible trades and free agent signings. But watching baseball's Men of Action (namely, the Marlins and Angels) get their work done in dramatically emphatic fashion these past few days has only served to deepen our collective chasm of apathy. The phrase may not be actually true, but the feeling certainly is.
Walt Jocketty knows how you feel, man. When asked about how the Winter Meetings were going, he answered, "Very frustrating. It's that way every year. You plan. We've been working on stuff since the Trade Deadline. You start looking at things, you start putting things together and your plan. You start trying to work on it. You start putting it into play, and you're not able to do anything."
Mr. Jocketty will have to excuse me if I'm not sympathetic to his frustration. It's impossible to know why the Reds aren't able to do anything. Is it because other teams are being unrealistic in their trade demands? Or is it because the Reds are? Without being privy to those conversations, we can't know. What we do know, though, is that this organization has been risk averse - one could say pathologically so - over the past few seasons. Shipping Jonny Gomes to Washington in exchange for a few inconsequential minor leaguers is the only - the only - trade this team has made in the past year.
It's obvious that Jocketty can clearly see the weaknesses of this ballclub. He's stated numerous times this off-season that priority #1 is a front-end starter. And there is still plenty of time left before Spring Training to find one. But watching the Winter Meetings come and go without any movement at all - they didn't even make a pick in the Rule 5 draft - is almost too much to bear at this point. The whole reason for the Winter Meetings is so teams can get together and make deals. Everyone is in the holiday spirit or something like that. But still, nothing.
I know in a more rational frame of mind that I would be more than willing to accept Walt's explanation. But right now I'm pissed off. We most likely only have another two years for this team to win a World Series, and last year was squandered in large part due to complacency and risk-aversion. The clock is ticking ever louder. The Reds must take bold and decisive action. I just hope we have the right man in office to push the button.
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I'm worried that the game has finally passed him by.
He just can’t hang with all the young guys.
He has to realize that YOU HAVE TO OVERPAY for pitching. Especially when you’re us.
Come on, Walt. Get us a fucking pitcher.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 8, 2011 12:29 PM EST reply actions
I feel like from his comments he's close
so I kinda expect something to happen within the next week or so and I still get a sense the deal will be with the Rays.
He did say they were presented with an offer that he was mulling over.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 12:35 PM EST up reply actions
Apparently there is a lot of stuff on the table, if only he'd sell the farm.
I’m guessing he’s just being patient to see if the other team will budge.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
The way it sounded is that he was making most of the offers.
I find it refreshing that another team came to us with an offer. It puts the ball in Jocketty’s court.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 12:39 PM EST up reply actions
I'm not saying it won't happen.
But I think I have that same ‘sense’ that it will be with the Rays only becuase we’ve being hearing James Shields buzz since July.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 12:36 PM EST up reply actions
The Rays are the only team Walt has confirmed he's talked too.
Add to that the fact that Maddon confirmed that the Rays have discussed Alonso, and it seems likely that they’ll be our trade partner.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Are you sure you are ready for me to be honest with you about this?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 12:39 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Yes.
The entire world awaits.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 12:40 PM EST up reply actions
Okay
I’ll tell you. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend’s wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you’re such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You’re always like “Ooh, I’ll get you later,” but later never comes. And what really bothers me, is you pretend that you’re this deep guy that loves women for their souls, when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I’m honest about it. I don’t buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation about Holden Caulfield as some profound intellectual. He wasn’t! He was a spoiled brat! And that’s why you like him so much — he’s you! God, you’re pretentious! And you delude yourself by thinking you’re some great writer, even though you’re terrible. You know, I should’ve known Cheryl Tiegs didn’t write me that note. She would’ve known there’s no “a” in the word “definite.” And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should “legalize pot, man…”, how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America… well what have you done to help?! I work down at the soup kitchen, ‘creds. Never seen you down there. You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Mini Cooper does not make you Jesus Christ. Oh wait, you don’t believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter because “religion is for idiots.” Well who the hell are you to talk down to anyone?! You failed college twice, which isn’t nearly as bad as your failure as a father. How’s that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that… all of it… if you weren’t such a BORE. That’s the worst of it, ‘creds. You’re just a big, sad, alcoholic BORE! I’ll see ya, ‘creds. Thanks for the fuckin’ steak.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 12:50 PM EST up reply actions 14 recs
My day can end happily.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 12:52 PM EST up reply actions
CTRL+F "cuntfag", nothing.....unreal
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 8, 2011 12:54 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
and yes, I know where it's from.....just making my own joke people
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Told ya, Chuck. Rip on me, even fictionally, and you are sure to go green.
Well done and congrats. :-)
It feels so nice to be back to normal
I know, right? Don't you wish it was like the good old da -- oh, right.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Yeah but I'm pretty sure we're the ones who created the buzz amongst ourselves.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 8, 2011 12:56 PM EST up reply actions
At first we were, but there has been definite real talk about Rays-Reds trade talk this week.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Well, if there's talk about the talk, I guess that makes me feel better.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 8, 2011 3:32 PM EST up reply actions
My feeling is that a deal is close with the Orioles
Wait…..nope. That was just indigestion from the Papa John’s I had for lunch.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
You kidding? He'd be loved in Cincy
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
by ChiDa on Dec 8, 2011 2:04 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
what'd ya get from Papa John's?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 9, 2011 7:52 AM EST up reply actions
I do not know if the game has passed him by
I mean he did pick up Chapman.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
it's funny how he's doing the opposite of what people expected
He was a big trader with the Cards. Left the farm system in shambles, and had little international recruiting.
With the Reds, there have been few trades. Instead, he’s relying on the farm. And the Reds are recruiting internationally, though it’s hard to say how much of that is Walt’s doing.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I think it is the strength of people around him
DanO built a very strong front office centered around drafting and developing, that has mostly stayed in tact. Walt is letting his people do what they do best.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
should be interesting to see what becomes of the Cards
No TLR. No Pujols. And no Jeff Luhnow. After eight years with the Cards, he’s the Astros new GM.
Luhnow was, by some accounts, the reason Jocketty and the Cards parted ways. The guy that Jocketty treated like a “war criminal.” According to HBT, Luhnow is a stat wonk who just didn’t fit in with Walt’s old guard, backroom-dealing inner circle. They called him “The Accountant” and “Harry Potter” behind his back. While Jocketty wanted to pursue established stars via trade and free agency, Luhnow wanted to save money by building from within. After Luhnow was promoted against Jocketty’s wishes, it got so bad half the front office wasn’t speaking to the other half. This pissed off the owners. Jocketty told people that he was going to either quit or be fired…and he was right.
That’s why I find it so surprising that Jocketty has stuck with homegrown players so much. He reportedly saw that as a “lose now” strategy.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Do you know how influential he was under Moz vs. under Jocketty?
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
I hear ya.
And I feel ya.
But in your last paragraph you state:
“…last year was squandered in large part due to … risk-aversion.”
This is true mostly in the sense that ‘red ink’ = ‘risk.’
I know we want Walt to be creative and take some chances but we should remember that Bob allowed him to do that and spend money doing it when he signed Chapman. And unfortunately it’s still too early to start figuring the true ROI with that one. So anything that Walt is working on now is likely just rinky-dink tinkering and deals of that sort aren’t (correct me if I’m wrong here) usually reveled in early winter. They come along (to the fans, anyway) after the dust has settled from the WInter Meetings and as we’ll head into Spring Training.
We need a pitcher (or two) and we’ll get a pitcher (or two) but the Reds didn’t just sign a new TV deal with Fox so Bob’s not writing checks to CJ Wilson and Albert Pujols this week. He’s just not.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
eh
People will be complaining when he trades Alonso, Grandal, & Wood for Shields.
Seriously though, I give the team credit for not rushing into the closer market. Now it looks like there might be a couple of choices available with no real competition to signing them. Hopefully that leads to a reasonably cheap deal to help the bullpen.
And it’s December 8th. There have been, what, 2 players that the Reds have been in on that went to other teams?
“The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry” – Brooks
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Dec 8, 2011 12:33 PM EST reply actions 4 recs
Rec for the Shawshank reference.
In all honesty, I wouldn’t be upset if we gave up Alonso, Grandal, and Wood for Shields. I think that would be a really good deal for the Reds.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 12:37 PM EST up reply actions
I'm giddy for this trade.
It should happen now.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 12:39 PM EST up reply actions
"I think a man workin' outdoors feels more like a man if he can have a bottle of suds."

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 12:43 PM EST up reply actions 9 recs
Beautiful.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 12:50 PM EST up reply actions
Fuck you guys, I've made two Shawshank reference in the last 24 hours and what did I get? Not a gall damned thing.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Your's weren't as good.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 12:59 PM EST up reply actions
Wasn't's not.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
double negatives
are a no no
Jack McKeon on 2000 Reds "We have more MRI's than RBI's on this club."
Just remember, jch..
Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 1:05 PM EST up reply actions
What about Polaroid Instamatics?
They dead.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 1:07 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Polaroid Instamatics did die. But they're being reborn as internet-postable demotivational posters

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 1:14 PM EST up reply actions
but they aren't dead!
Now you can use your $400 iPhone to recreate the experience!
Plus, it covers up the fact that your camera still has a 4mm aperture!
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
The Japanese got your back, Scrabbles

We're all mad. I'm mad. You're mad. Otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.
My innocence was a good thing
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
/fineyoungcannibals'd
Do doo be do.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 8, 2011 1:14 PM EST up reply actions
What is your malfunction, you fat barrel of monkey spunk?
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
man, nobody? Really? Even in reference to jch?
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
Is this from Operation Dumbo Drop or something?
Because that was in the other thread.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 1:29 PM EST up reply actions
but Fat Vegas Alan is really hilarious.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Walt does this trade in a hearbeat too.......need one more
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 8, 2011 7:14 PM EST up reply actions
I admit
I’m not in a totally rational frame of mind right now. So while you make a good point regarding the closer market, it just isn’t satisfying.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 12:41 PM EST up reply actions
It's the one-potato-chip defense.
Mmhmm. Good. Yes, I see….
MORE !!

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 12:50 PM EST up reply actions
Not in a rational state of mind, eh? Not satisfied, eh? What do you have going on later tonight?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Cleaning the house
in my underpants ;)
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 1:05 PM EST up reply actions
I'll be there in ten min ***CARRIER LOST**
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
It looks like we'll find out soon
The clock is ticking ever louder. The Reds must take bold and decisive action. I just hope we have the right man in office to push the button.
Jocketty told our fearless beat writers today that they have a number of deals that they could do if they are willing to part with the players the other team is asking for. To wit:
Pujols out of NL Central
The Rule 5 Draft just concluded without the Reds making a selection in the Major League phase. They both took and lost a player in the Triple-A phase.
But the buzz this morning is the stunner that Albert Pujols is leaving the Cardinals for the Angels with a 10-year, $250 million contract with a full no-trade clause.
Of course, the move has ramifications for the Reds. "The Great Pujols," as former Reds manager Jerry Narron often called him, is now out of the National League Central.
"I think it’s a positive," said Reds GM Walt Jocketty, who drafted and developed Pujols when he was with the Cardinals. "When they lose a guy of that stature, it’s pretty amazing."
As for the Reds, they are leaving town without a trade or signing done. But it sounded like if he would agree to part with the player or players the other team wants, a deal could happen.
"I think so. You never know how a club will react," Jocketty said. "A couple of things we could do. We have to decide if it’s the right direction to go in."
For now, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. One thing he has shown in the last couple years is an understanding of market trends, and the willingness to be patient and let the best deal come to him. He did it with Ramon, he did it with UT infielders (Edgar wasn’t a bad signing, even if he sucked), and it looks like he’s doing it again this year with the closer market. There are more closers out there right now than teams that need one. My guess is you see a good player sign a cheap deal.
Let’s see if he ends up with a good pitcher before we get too upset. The only thing that really sucked is it made this week really boring. Whatevs.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
I wouldn't mind if the Reds decided to look in-house for a closer
But I want to see them make some moves on other fronts. Like starting pitching.
Depending on the Cards and Brewers sucking because they’re losing Pujols and Fielder is not my idea of a great plan.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
You can't admit Rentera sucked!
unless you were talking about a different Edgar…
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Also, there was a quote going around on Monday that was something like, "these young GMs are asking for way too much in deals."
I wonder if that was Walt who said that. Damn whippersnappers.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
Yeah, and the thing is, teams can ask for the world now and see if someone will bite.
If they really decide they want to trade a guy, they’re probably more likely to be reasonable in January.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
I feel like the Angels are the main culprit.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 12:38 PM EST up reply actions
Angels have a bit of a SP surplus now that they've signed Wilson
there was already talk of Santana being traded to free up some cash. Could be even greater possibility now. He’s pretty expensive and only has two years of team control left, but would be a solid #2
I think they want a Philly-like rotation
Weaver, Haren, Wilson, and Santana isn’t quite Halladay, Cliff Lee, Hamels, and Oswalt, but it’s still really really good.
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
Yeah, look where that rotation got the Phillies.
Offense wins championships, y’all
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I haven't actually had a comment that befits a baseball discussion in ages.
And the one I do is sarcastic. Glum.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
well, they got Pujols for that
offense and a sick rotation wins championships
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
Holy ****
RT @BNightengale: The Miami #Marlins actually outbid the #Angels for Pujols,offering 10-year, $275 million deal, sources confirm.
I guess he was afraid of the checks bouncing.
That and he’s possibly somewhat realistic about becoming a DH down the road.
yea but thats a whole lot of money left on the table
Florida has no state income tax if I’m not mistaken so its even greater than a $25 million difference
yup, the Marlins don't do no-trade clauses
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
that was probably a big factor
They said days ago that that was the sticking point.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Seems like there's a de facto no-trade when you're paying a forty-something guy $25M/year
by ken on Dec 8, 2011 5:32 PM EST up reply actions
The team could eat some of that
Like the Rangers did to trade A-Rod.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
They also outbid the Angels for Wilson, offering him 6/95 or something crazy. And word is they were willing to go over 100.
Dude just really wanted him some Cali sunshine.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
sometimes you just need to ride some chill waves in so cal, brah.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
The Marlins should feel like Neo
“What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?”
“No, Marlins. I’m trying to tell you that when you’re ready, you won’t have to. "
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Dec 8, 2011 12:53 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Perhaps both Wilson and Pujols were afraid of what happens if things don't work out
they would be two very expensive players on a piece of shit team.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
That can still happen.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
Angel's have had high payrolls though
the Marlin’s are making their decisions on optimistic projections and hope.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I'd like to assume they have people that figured out how much they are going to make.
I really don’t think they’d go in to this blind.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
For the Marlin's entire existence they have had low payrolls (except in 1997) and low attendance.
I am sure they had some people do projections about what a new stadium would do for them, but again we don’t know for sure until it happens.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I mean
I would have liked to have assumed that over the last 10-15 years banks gave mortgages to people who they were fairly certain could pay them back.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I agree with your overall point, but that is a terrible analogy
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Mainly because the stadium was built with tax dollars.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
well it is far from perfect
but it demonstrates that business people can be overly optimistic.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
'Tis the season.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 1:33 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
I think this picture captures the essence of this week
Bravo.
"This is the St. Louis Cardinals we're talking about. They suck. Screw them. With a shovel. The sharp metal end. And then set them on fire." - crolfer
by rorschach1979 on Dec 8, 2011 2:21 PM EST up reply actions
bubble burst'd
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 1:30 PM EST up reply actions
They're so cute together.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
these too seem like a more natural pear though.

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I prefer the classics.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 1:34 PM EST up reply actions
like Bush's first homecoming dance?

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 8, 2011 1:39 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Do you think he got an OTPF?
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
Nuh-uh
![]()
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 1:34 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
yep, a couple of fruits right there
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
"He didn't believe me, but it really is this big!"
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
That's true.
However, I thought they were projecting a lot of new money from advertising revenues and the such. I know they are expecting a larger boost in attendance, but I didn’t think that was all they were looking at.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
I thought they spent it all on that atrocity of a home run celebration
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
I can't wait when the lawsuits for the epileptic seizures roll in.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
Just mentioning it
makes my diabetes act up.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 1:36 PM EST up reply actions
That's not your diabetes, Chuck.
It’s your inner fabulousness.
Let it out, Chuck. Go with it!
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 1:38 PM EST up reply actions
The last time I let out
they had to cut off my foot.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 1:41 PM EST up reply actions
But, you still have the other one right? RIGHT?
Cause if you don’t then you can’t enter the ass kicking contest.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
nope, left
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 8, 2011 1:47 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
That one doesn't work as well.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
let your freak flag fly
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 9, 2011 8:01 AM EST up reply actions
There are a couple.
Here’s the best one.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 1:40 PM EST up reply actions
I can not be held responsible for your actions after watching this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZch2jIMVtk
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
that is something a 9 year old girl in the 70s on an acid trip would have designed.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Love.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 1:43 PM EST up reply actions
I love this
it’s like if Neptune just said “fuck it” and opened a casino in the ocean because it isn’t on US soil
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
by UncleWeez on Dec 8, 2011 1:44 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
But, the cards would get soggy.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
Yes, that's what makes it implausible.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 8, 2011 1:49 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
They wouldn't use traditional cards, morans
They would use seashells. Doi.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 1:50 PM EST up reply actions
Sand dollars!!!!!
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 1:51 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
yup. they wouldn't play craps either
they’d play crabs. Like jch’s friday night
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
by UncleWeez on Dec 8, 2011 1:52 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
It's the greatest.
After grand slams, it supposedly “makes it rain.”
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 8, 2011 2:04 PM EST up reply actions
The City of Cincinnati had people who figured out how much they were going to make before building GABP and PBS
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
And everyone got really mad at those people so they left town.
And went to work for John Corzine at MF Global.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 1:48 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
They're the Warlins!
And they’re-a gonna Win!
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 8, 2011 5:59 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Hornberger with this bit of news
DKnobler
Reds continue to pursue a starting pitcher, but no real progress yet. Top targets: Jair Jurrjens, and the guys from Rays.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
*jch's snarky comment is delayed while he closes 36 tabs of porn*
It feels so nice to be back to normal
A wanker's dozen!
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 8, 2011 1:03 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
THIRTY SEVEN
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 8, 2011 1:15 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
in a row?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 9, 2011 8:03 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
What about Jurjens and Sheilds?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I think it's too late not see Walt as risk-averse in swapping over the last year-plus
Since the trade deadline 2010, a year and a half a go, he’s basically gotten a minute of Jim Edmonds and dealt Gomes so that Dusty could maybe play Yonder Alonso a little bit.
But it’s also too early in the sense that the farmhands Walt hasn’t been willing to trade are all graduating, with Grandal and others on the way.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 8, 2011 12:52 PM EST reply actions
teh Fay
points out the Reds have not made a major trade since July 2009.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
A year and a half since a major trade? Oh the huge manatee!
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
One significant FA signing or trade in two-plus years
at a time when you are supposed to be competing is awfully weak.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
*Cuts self*
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 12:57 PM EST up reply actions
*bleeds on the carpet*
mom gets mad
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 12:58 PM EST up reply actions
*tells girlfriend "If you left me I would kill myself and it would be your fault and would haunt you forever."
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 8, 2011 1:05 PM EST up reply actions
no Dashboard Confessional?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 9, 2011 8:03 AM EST up reply actions
That's a direct quote from JD Arney
except for the hashtag.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
yeah, that 2 minutes was such a waste of my time
At least I’m not robbing taxpayers to goof off. #ohsnap
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Dec 8, 2011 1:06 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
If you'd have done it on a mac it only would've taken 1 minute.
#sickburn
It feels so nice to be back to normal
and would've cost me twice as much
#truth
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Dec 8, 2011 1:07 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
But people would like you more
#sick truth
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 8, 2011 1:09 PM EST up reply actions
no, I would think people liked me more
but in reality, everybody would actually hate my pompousness. #sadface
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Dec 8, 2011 1:17 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Sorry, I thought we were talking about 'creds' pompousness
#TwoBirdsOneStone
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Right on
#fuck apple
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 8, 2011 1:17 PM EST up reply actions
I guess that's cool if you're into fuzz
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 8, 2011 1:19 PM EST up reply actions
Where's obc?
I was looking for someone to post this.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
i see what you did there
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 9, 2011 8:04 AM EST up reply actions
I wonder if Slyde's neighbor's lawnmower is running
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
The only trade the Reds have made in the last year was to get rid of Gomes
Am I forgetting something, or does that mean the most recent trade the Reds made was the one that brough the wonderful Jim Edmonds into our lives?
I think the Angels mist have found the smoking gun on Pujols age.
They’ve got proof that he’s really 35, so they jumped at signing him knowing that the moment he starts to play old and sucky they can expose him and void his contract…all while getting a decent year or two out of him for $25mil per.
I still say move Yonder to 1st, sign Beltran for LF, and trade Votto for Ricky Romero, Yunel Escobar, and Kyle Drabek.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 8, 2011 1:09 PM EST reply actions
I don't think they can void his contract for that, actually
this scenario played out with Miguel Tejada.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
Depends on what's written into the contract, I would guess
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Yeah, if they put a "falsification of age" clause in there
then yeah
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
What is they put something like "This contract is between the angels and Albert Pujols, born 1/16/1980...."
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
For a quarter of a billion dollars (more than Moreno paid to buy the Angels)
they better have a lawyer who put that type of clause in it.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 8, 2011 4:47 PM EST up reply actions
Then again, maybe Pujols and his agent decided to take the one offer that didn't include such a clause......
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
just throwing it out there, I have no clue on legal stuff
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
It would be a huge PITA to try to void a contract
The union would throw everything they could at you. You’d need a better case than a slight age discrepancy.
I think the Rox tried to void Neagle’s contract after a DUI, or maybe it was soliciting a prostitute. I should look it up but I think they ended up paying him practically the entire deal just to go away.
by ken on Dec 8, 2011 5:33 PM EST up reply actions
it was both I think, and I agree
The union would do everything they could to avoid setting a precedent.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Lets sign Kuroda, and have him talk to Darvish, and convince Darvish that Cincinnati is the place to be
bang done.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Darvish has no say
Because of the posting system.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
The Reds need to out post everyone!
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
WHO'S GOING TO TALK TO THEM?
#notredscatchers
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 8, 2011 7:50 PM EST up reply actions
Check out Pujols' numbers against the NL Central
Astros: .311/.402/.569, 42 HR, 112 RBI in 655 AB
Brewers: 329/.424/.616, 42 HR, 140 RBI in 636 AB
Cubs: .302/.405/.616, 53 HR, 135 RBI in 632 AB
Pirates: .365/.451/.681, 48 HR, 145 RBI in 633 AB
Reds: .350/.430/.641, 46 HR, 143 RBI in 652 AB
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 8, 2011 1:15 PM EST reply actions
Damn, he really sucks vs. the 'strohs.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 8, 2011 1:16 PM EST up reply actions
Haha... they're going to be in the NL West next year.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 8, 2011 1:20 PM EST up reply actions
Next next year I mean.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 8, 2011 1:21 PM EST up reply actions
AL you mean.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
Oy
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 8, 2011 1:24 PM EST up reply actions
"I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob."
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Dec 8, 2011 1:22 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
rec'd
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 8, 2011 1:25 PM EST up reply actions
Fuckin' rec'd, man.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 8, 2011 8:44 PM EST up reply actions
Bob looks like just got a shipment of brown bananas.
I want to hate Tim Tebow, but for some reason, I don't
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 8, 2011 1:38 PM EST reply actions
That's racist?
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 1:38 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Could be worse

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 8, 2011 1:49 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Raven Riley is smiling.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
why?
is that inside her right now?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
If it isn't she is buying one.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
if you are still a mod you can delete it
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
DOWN WITH CENSORSHIP!!!!
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
UP WITH SKIRTS!!!
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 8, 2011 2:04 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
not saying it's inappropriate
just saying it’s freaking me right the fuck out
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
you have the eraser, abuse it
i abuse any power handed to me.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I abuse the erasers that are powered to me
huh?
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
And you wonder why you don't have a job
#zing
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 8, 2011 2:04 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
fuck jobs!
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 8, 2011 2:57 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
Ashton Kutcher looks funny with black nail polish
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 9, 2011 12:08 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Ashton Kutcher looks funny.
by Don, the Rebel without a Blog on Dec 9, 2011 12:30 PM EST up reply actions
Ashton Kutcher is on TV's #1 sitcom! #sp
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 9, 2011 12:51 PM EST up reply actions
That show being #1
is exhibit A why ’Merica is full of fucking morons.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 9, 2011 12:53 PM EST up reply actions
It's a show for everyone! #sp
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 9, 2011 12:55 PM EST up reply actions
i believe this to be true
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 9, 2011 8:07 AM EST up reply actions
Yay!
Now do a plantain!
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 2:07 PM EST up reply actions
Yay!
Now do genocide!
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 2:11 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I just busted out laughing in class.
Damn.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
I'm in a vocational school.
They are doing things with machine shop tools. I have five kids, they are blaring music on the radio, and I’m bored.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
I had a day like that once
today my kids were great, and it was such an easy and almost fun day.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Most of my days are easy, but usually I get to do something.
The days I’m in a lab are excruciating.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
well i mean there are no hard days
but the regular teacher’s ability to maintain class room control really effects my day. If the kids really respect their teacher and don’t want to get/are afraid of a bad report it is a really easy day.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
If they aren't afraid of their teacher, I can usually get them to be afraid of me fairly quickly.
I don’t do much in class until you piss me off.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
You think so, huh?
In my experience, subs who come in and play the tough guy usually get laughed at or ignored. Or humiliated.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
I said this on twitter yesterday
Kids are like dogs. You have to beat them until they behave the way you want.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Make a couple middle school kids cry and they all shape up real quick.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
a.k.a. the jch dating plan
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 8, 2011 8:07 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I don't think so
Just a GIS of “disgusted face”.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 8:10 PM EST up reply actions
That guy looks snohio kin
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 8, 2011 8:45 PM EST up reply actions
Depends on how you do it.
I know several that have tried it, and it blows up in their face. The trick is to not be the tough guy at first. Stay in the shadows, let them do what they want, but when they start breaking rules you pounce. I set an early understanding with my students that I don’t care what they do. As long as they are relatively quiet and not screwing with people I’m cool. Once you cross some lines then I’m forced to do something. Plus, it helps that I’m bigger than 95% of them.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
i tell my kids at the begining of every class
that my basic goal is for them to not be so loud that they disturb the class next to me, and for them to stay in their seats, so if somebody walks in my class does not appear to be in chaos, and if they make my day easy i’ll make their day easy.
Some kids understand that I really don’t want to deal with discipline issues, and i am not out to cause problems. Those classes are the best.
Others don’t fully understand that and I usually kick them out fairly quickly. I also never threaten punishment and fail to follow through, so the second time i have a group of “problems” it is easier.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
You both are describing standard sub survival tactics
All of which work on the 90-95% of kids who don’t really want to cause trouble. But if you are unlucky enough to get in with the kids who do, you are basically powerless. And I say this as someone who has done my share of covering classes.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Trust me man, I sub in a vocational school.
The only step down from this is alternative schools. These kids do not care as long as you stay out of their way. If they go to far then it is a simple trip to the dean.
But, I’m also used to all of it being a licensed teacher. I had to deal with some real shit bags in student teaching.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
Never threaten something and not do it. That is when you lose them.
For example, I just had some guys running around snapping each other with towels. All it took was one look and they put them away.
The funniest was when a kid was throwing paper wads. I told him if he did it again I’d make him sweep the floor. I caught him tossing another one. I went to the janitor’s closet and got a broom. The public humilation of him sweeping the floor, and me walking behind him and pointing out spots he missed was enough.
But, I also know the administrators pretty well. So, all of this stuff works for me.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
i was with a student teacher a couple of weeks ago
and she kept threatening and did not follow through. She also kept capitulating on what they had to do in class, and as they got closer to the bell cut down on the work they needed to do because everyone was screwing around. I mean the kids have realized that if they don’t do their work she will ask them to do less, and she will never follow through on punishment. What incentive do they have to do their work and behave (other than getting good grades and shit)?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
In my classes I didn't grade homework.
You received completion grades and we went over it as a class. But, if you didn’t do it before class it was a zero. If they didn’t do the homework I didn’t care. It wasn’t my grade. A lot of the kids figured it out pretty quick to do the assignments because my tests are harder then hell. Well, they think they are. I always thought they were easy because the questions are exactly from worksheets, notes, and lessons.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
In my district in lower level classes, teachers are discouraged from giving out too much homework
because kids weren’t doing their work and were failing. The district has even gone as fair as giving middle school students a 30 minutes advisory period every day so they can do their homework with the guidence of a teacher.
You know it is much better we spoon feed the kids so they graduate regardless of them learning anything including responsibility, than letting lazy kids who don’t do their work suffer the consequences of being held back or not graduating… My time as a sub has actually completely turned me off on getting a teacher’s license.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
That sounds typical
Same thing is happening with my wife. But down here, at least in VA, it’s driven by state and federal mandates.
At least you’re not teaching/subbing in a middle school where white kids are the minority and almost 50% of your kids don’t speak English as a first language
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Because those kids don't need you in there, you know...
teaching.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 4:06 PM EST up reply actions
Have I mentioned that I miss daedalus? I'd have been all like...

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Yeah, it would have made for fun ...dialogue
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
by kcgard2 on Dec 8, 2011 4:15 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Oh yeah, that would've been soooo fun
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
by ChiDa on Dec 8, 2011 4:17 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
here too
they have to graduate so many people or their funding gets cut.
I just feel like that teachers are expected to make kids graduate, which is doing a disservice to the kids, kids should want to graduate out of their own self interest, and it should be the teacher’s job to give them the tools to do the best in school that they can.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
this is 'Merica!
speak English, damnit!
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 9, 2011 8:13 AM EST up reply actions
"my tests are harder then hell."
Heheheh.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
FTFY
“my tests are harder then hell to decipher what the hell I’m saying”
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 8, 2011 2:40 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Lots o' sin
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 8, 2011 3:06 PM EST up reply actions
Lots o' sin
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 8, 2011 3:06 PM EST up reply actions
And then a double post.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 8, 2011 3:07 PM EST up reply actions
So much sin you have to post twice about it
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
So much sin you have to post twice about it
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
there was a really fuck yeah nouns genocide picture
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Also, this from Jocketty (via Sheldon)
As for Brandon Phillips, Jocketty finally met with his agents but the latest offer appears to have been rejected.
"I went alright I guess," Jocketty said of the meeting. "I don’t know if they weren’t completely happy. They didn’t agree to it."
“I don’t know if they weren’t completely happy.” What does that even mean?
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
if it were a Fay update this would make more sense.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Maybe it means it is the Reds final offer.
Take it or leave it.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
or fay and sheldon accidently traded laptops and are posting ot eachother sacocunts
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Coconuts?
Cock nuts?
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 8, 2011 2:11 PM EST up reply actions
Oh, sacocunts, riiight.
Silly me.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 8, 2011 2:14 PM EST up reply actions
My guess is that quote was (unfortunately) take out of the context of a quick Q&A.
Reporter: “How did it go? They didn’t agree to it so evidently they weren’t completely happy with the offer?”
Jocketty: “I went alright I guess,” Jocketty said of the meeting. “I don’t know if they weren’t completely happy. They didn’t agree to it.”
See, it’s kinda like when someone hands you one lasagna noodle instead of a whole slice on a plate.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 2:00 PM EST up reply actions
Mmmmm...lasagna...
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 8, 2011 2:12 PM EST up reply actions
.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 2:21 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 2:28 PM EST up reply actions
All of this is just more proof that everything is better without a cat.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 8, 2011 2:45 PM EST up reply actions 7 recs
Rec'd.
But yo, some cats are kinda cool.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 2:50 PM EST up reply actions
Random Garfield generator is great too
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Dec 8, 2011 10:39 PM EST up reply actions
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Dec 8, 2011 10:39 PM EST up reply actions
Looks like we got the Shit end of the stick in the Minor League rule 5 draft.
lost Alex Buchholz. Drafted Travis Mattair a shortstop from the Phillies org
feel free to look it up, it’s not pretty.
He was drafted high by Philly but retired-not-retired in 2010 and 2011 to play hoops for... Boise State.
You’re right. There are a lot of adjectives for this story. "Pretty’ isn’t one of ’em.
After missing more than a month with an oblique strain, Travis “Moose” Mattair found himself as the odd man out of the Class A Advanced Clearwater Threshers roster. Having lost his starting job to Jeremy Barnes, who has posted a .293 batting average since taking over for Mattair, the Washington state native was reassigned to the Class A Lakewood roster, where he became on of the club’s most popular players during his previous stint there.
The 6-foot-5-inch 230-pound Mattair batted .234 with 3 homeruns and 16 RBI in 21 April games as a member of the Threshers.
Originally a 2nd round draft selection by the Phillies in 2007, Mattair was a member of the BlueClaws team that won the first of two straight South Atlantic League titles in 2009. After that, Mattair was placed on the retired list in order to try his dream of playing Division 1 college basketball. By late summer last year, Mattair got the itch for baseball and chose to return to the Phillies organization rather than becoming the last man on the Boise State roster as a 22-year-old freshman.
Now back in Lakewood, Moose took time to chat with PhoulBallz.com’s and PhilliesNation’s Jay Floyd about his return to the Jersey shore, being a leader, his future and more. Check out the media player below to listen to the full interview.
They say he’s called ‘Moose.’ …I bet more than a few call him ‘Favre’ or ‘Jordan.’
From http://www.phoulballz.com/
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 2:37 PM EST up reply actions
I'm still wondering who it was the Reds wanted
Teh Fay confirms that they were hoping to draft someone, but he was taken by the time their turn came around.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
the list
of players taken before the Reds turn, via MLBTR:
Astros take Rhiner Cruz from Mets.
Twins take Terry Doyle from White Sox.
Mariners take Lucas Luetge from Brewers.
Orioles take Ryan Flaherty from Cubs.
Royals take Cesar Cabral from Red Sox; traded to Yankees for cash.
Cubs take Lendy Castillo from Phillies.
Padres
Pirates take Gustavo Nunez from Tigers.
A lot of those names were on the Bucs Dugout list. I think the only name that was on tl;dr’s list is Cesar Cabral. The Royals took him, and traded him to the Yanks for cash. Seems like if the Reds really wanted him, they could have gotten him. So maybe he’s not the one they wanted.
Flaherty and Nunez are the only non-pitchers; they are both IFers. I gotta think the Reds wanted a pitcher. I just don’t see any room on the roster for a position player.
Marwin Gonzalez, who some thought was the Reds’ target, was still on the board when the Reds’ turn came around, and they didn’t pick him. I guess they’re content to just have Janish brush up on his Spanish. Gonzalez was taken by the Red Sox with the 23rd pick, and traded to the Astros.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Well the Reds now undoubtly have the best first baseman in the league.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
until today's scenario plays out again in 2 years.
/ducks
We're all mad. I'm mad. You're mad. Otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.
Walt looks to be securing his
pager and Palm Tunsten E2 before catching his flight back to Lunken.
I want to hate Tim Tebow, but for some reason, I don't
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 8, 2011 2:21 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Sweet Jesus god, Foxx's 1932 was ridiculous.....10.7 WAR
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
And it's only the 40th best single season all time?
This is a fun list….Robin Yount had 11.5 in ’82, wow.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Wow, not even close
Old Hoss himself holds the crown
The best in the “Modern era” looks likes Babe in 1923
It is strange that 6 of the top 12 are from 1884
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
Also
Walter Johnson was good.
36 starts, plus 12 relief appearances, all with an ERA of 1.14? with a 13.8 WAR?
Dead Walter Johnson is probably better than half our staff. Sign him, Walt.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
BRAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 8, 2011 9:23 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Bonds in '01 is 7th, with 12.5
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Steroids or not
i still think it is incredible that he had multiple seasons where he got on base more than 50% of the time. Baseball has always been a game where generally regardless of the situation the pitcher had the advantage, and the most likely outcome was the hitter made an out. Not true when Bonds came to the plate. Even with steroids that still takes a tremendous amount of skill.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I know
but he also didn’t swing at many bad pitches, so he forced a lot of walks as well.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
If you're at to plate hit and no one is throwing you hittable pitches..
..that’s not really patience.
That’s just killing time.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 3:27 PM EST up reply actions
This should be the site's motto
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Dec 8, 2011 10:42 PM EST up reply actions
That's a great idea!
We could have a poll and vote on it!
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 8, 2011 11:09 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
And then have everyone vote for the thing that no one really suggested and isn't as clever!
Go Colts Dammit!
boobs
Jack McKeon on 2000 Reds "We have more MRI's than RBI's on this club."
Why is it a GIS of Juan Franciso you get a bunch of black and white naked pictures.

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
because a guy named Juan Francisco
does ink drawings of naked hipster girls with a Bic pen.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
picture description says this:
480 × 317 – Juan Francisco Casas uses nothing but ballpoint pens to create his …
Because it's the better alterbative
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
That last chart should scare the hell out of Angels fans
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
From wikipedia
“Foxx’s skills diminished significantly after 1941. Some sources attribute this to a drinking problem, while others attribute it to a sinus condition.”
So, as long as Pujols can stay away from the booze and blow…
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
Walter Harvey: Let me be blunt. Are you still a fall-down drunk?
Jimmy Dugan: Well, that is blunt. Ahem. No sir, I’ve, uh, quit drinking.
Walter Harvey: You’ve seen the error of your ways.
Jimmy Dugan: No, I just can’t afford it.
/giggles
by ken on Dec 8, 2011 3:24 PM EST up reply actions
holy shit
I remembered the password
Walt’s inactivity helped me focus!
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 8, 2011 2:56 PM EST via iPhone app reply actions
Damnit Walt!
See what you’ve done?
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Dec 8, 2011 2:57 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
People realized it is stupid?
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 8, 2011 3:19 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Aaah the constipated internet....
Niners,Nets,Reds & USC!!!
The Most Interesting Man In The World---->Mikhail Prokhorov!!!
by Kidd2Petrovic on Dec 8, 2011 3:24 PM EST up reply actions
is that Jackie chan?
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 8, 2011 3:41 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
The hot one or the fishy one?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Yuni to Seabass
not sure if that’s an upgrade or a downgrade
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
I think it's an upgrade
I hope Yuni isn’t our future veteran SS.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
OH. MY. GOD.
I didn’t even think of that horrifying scenario.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
Mazel tov!
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
This is rich
With that said, the Brewers have already paid K-Rod $4 million to go away at one point this offseason. It’s possible the Brewers rejected his ridiculously overpriced $17.5 million club option for 2012, and in the long run will actually end up paying him more than if they’d just accepted it.
[via BrewCrewBall]
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
That looks like an Olan Mills backdrop and a posed picture.
I’m going to hell.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Don't forget the solo cups for beer pong
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
the olsen twins
the early years
Jack McKeon on 2000 Reds "We have more MRI's than RBI's on this club."
That is absolutely completely hilarious
And just the fact he’s gonna get $13 million from arbitration. I mean that’s just so funny. Terrifying but also funny.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
Can any of you nerds tell me what program to use to unzip a .7z file?
pleaseandthankyou
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
is 7zip a new thing?
this is the first I’ve seen it.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
I've used it for a while
on a computer that didn’t have WinZip installed. I chose to go with 7zip instead. They are basically the same thing except 7zip also has a separate file type besides .zip.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
So this exists
We provide our customers with same-day appliance repair service, 24/7 and 365 days a year. We provide appliance repair service for all of Cincinnati and Northern Ky.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
MLBTR reports that the Reds could be interested in Ryan Theriot
Theri-oh, no.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 6:50 PM EST reply actions
that's great
cincinnati is known for the riots
by 'tHan on Dec 8, 2011 6:51 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
oh...oh god...i think i'm gunna puke

Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
by UncleWeez on Dec 8, 2011 6:53 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
poor kid with that haircut
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
i like how he owns it.
like he looks so fucking proud of himself.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
My favorite part
is that he’s just standing there, crossing his arms like he’s fuckin’ Suge Knight.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 8:07 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Maybe he's from Philadelphia...
who’s gonna mess with him when he’ll respond with puking on you?
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
by kcgard2 on Dec 8, 2011 8:08 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
That's called 'puke-fucking the bulldog.'
And eating it.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 8, 2011 10:58 PM EST up reply actions
x
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 8, 2011 8:54 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
That has to be the mother of all gifs.
when everybody is around and we're swinging for long bombs away, how do we come around to know - man, this really is what it's for?
Who among us hasn't been there?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Oh, they're "reporting it," are they?
Just kidding. I actually wouldn’t hate this. He can actually hit. And even though he sucks at SS, anyone we get is going to. Of all the shitty options, he’s probably one of the least shitty.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Dusty would give him 60% playing time at least
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
For a backup SS, he can
I mean, he won’t be used like one, but he still gets on base at a decent clip
.320 is only decent in our minds because we've become accustomed to pure crap from the SS position
Also, he’s not good at all defensively – remember that video devoted to his fielding gaffes?
Guessing game! Who had a higher OPS+ over the last two years: Theriot or Yuni?
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
Also, this is why you don't quote MLBTR
Who really reported that is Jon Heyman, who is about as reliable as my dead grandma’s Heyman.
He didn’t even say the Reds were interested. He said they may be interested.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
TEHY REPORTED ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 7:04 PM EST up reply actions
Also, damn dude
I figured you would hear the tongue in my cheek in that comment. I’m disappointed in you.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 8, 2011 7:06 PM EST up reply actions
Like I said, there's no one more sincere than Charlie Scrabbles!
/cue overture from Music Man
It feels so nice to be back to normal
tom brady sux
Jack McKeon on 2000 Reds "We have more MRI's than RBI's on this club."
Here's a welcome home cake for Jocketty:

I want to hate Tim Tebow, but for some reason, I don't
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 8, 2011 6:56 PM EST reply actions 5 recs
it is funny because it is so cheerful and surrounded by candy.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
i'm ordering chinese food because tonight is big bang theory night
every time i watch that show it makes me hungry for chinese or thai food
Sheldon'd
I want to hate Tim Tebow, but for some reason, I don't
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 8, 2011 7:07 PM EST up reply actions
I would LOVE some tangerine chicken.
This is not tangerine chicken.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
surprisingly wise choice
we should hang out and eat orange chicken.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
'tHan would rather die
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 9, 2011 12:15 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
clockwork orange?
Jack McKeon on 2000 Reds "We have more MRI's than RBI's on this club."
Nothing for last night of Community?
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
ie
’tHan watches big bang high.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
now Madoff made off with all the money
And all his clients are down to skunk weed…
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 8, 2011 7:29 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
how have you positioned your living room?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 9, 2011 8:20 AM EST up reply actions
so those reviews helped?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 10, 2011 7:32 PM EST up reply actions
I forgot to Pick Them
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 8, 2011 7:24 PM EST via iPhone app reply actions
that would be nice if they won tonight!
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 8, 2011 7:30 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
the sb nation mobile site is much better than mobile rr
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 8, 2011 7:31 PM EST via iPhone app reply actions
So... apparently, my idea in the fanpost was stupid...
I’ll bring it over here just in case. Word is that the Marlins wanted Pujols and don’t want Fielder because they are looking to draw Latin crowds (in southern Florida, that would be a high % Cuban). Does anyone think there’s a potential deal where Chapman and/or Alonso could be traded to the Marlins? Obviously, Hanley Ramirez seems like the obvious get, but is there anyone else (MLB-ready or A-level prospects) that we could pursue?
Or am I just daydreaming?
LoMo would look fine in LF to me
Josh Johnson is a bonafide ace when healthy. Ricky Nolasco would be cool with me too. Anibal Sanchez would rock. Hanley Ramirez would be great, but tough to work out.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
than'd
Jack McKeon on 2000 Reds "We have more MRI's than RBI's on this club."
by dunnateher on Dec 9, 2011 2:51 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
love the Pujols move btw
obviously being out of our division and out of our league is great. Also, another big market club has their 1B locked up when Votto hits the FA market.
ya i cant wait for them to suck for the next decade
by StVivians2014 on Dec 8, 2011 8:37 PM EST up reply actions
Please, Fangraphs...
On your GB/LD/FB chart, please color the letters in the same color as the line. I am always confused.
Tonight I figured out that GRound balls are GReen, and scorching line drives are red. Still, a little cue wouldn’t hurt.
Also, I figured out that Kevin Slowey, though he was had for cheap, would be a bad fit for GABP.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
You had to "discover" that Kevin Slowey isn't someone we should pursue?
My motto is if he pitches for the Twins, I pretty much don’t want him.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
he was quite the prospect coming up
then I stopped paying attention to him.
He had bad luck last year. If his FB and GB were reversed (thanks fangraphs!), he’d be very interesting in return for a PTBNL.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
Thoughts on the Winter Meetings
The Reds are in better position today than they were this time last week because
1. Cards are weaker – Pujols out of the division and with Pujols and TLR gone they are clearly leaderless. Next in line for team leader is Capt. WLB Mr. Carpenter…..hahahahaha
2. Brewers made a ~12 million dollar mistake and Fielder is likely gone. I am amazed by by that arb offer. You just gambled 15% of your overall 2011 payroll on a compensation pick, REALLY? For a set-up man?!? This is beyond incompetent. I would be absolutely furious if I were a Brewers fan.
3. Cubs suck and are also likely losing there best player.
4. To Slyde’s point – we didn’t do anything stupid
I think this combination of fail by our division rivals means that this is the Reds window for a WS win. Walt realizes this and will make at least 3 moves in the next 2 months, trade for a SP, obtain an OF, and obtain a closer.
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 8, 2011 9:46 PM EST reply actions
That's how a man dives into a base dammit!
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 8, 2011 9:47 PM EST up reply actions

@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 8, 2011 9:48 PM EST up reply actions
"Why do they make the bases so hard? They're not that hard when the Reds slide face-first into them! Why is everybody me yell at them?!?"
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 9, 2011 12:16 AM EST up reply actions
Tough job
Walt also said that the offers coming in had been unreasonable. No surprise. The FA market is skewing the trade market. Would you trade for Shields if TB was also asking for Cueto or Chapman—or both?
I’m not sold that SP is the problem. I see Cueto, Leake, Arroyo, Bailey, Chapman, Wood. I see a group ready to step up. I’d prefer a right handed power hitter in the OF.
I have to say I’d love some Adam Jones. I’d give up Alonso, Stubbs and a lesser prospect to get him. Put Heisey in LF.
You cannot be serious
Drew Stubbs is Adam Jones.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 9, 2011 6:53 AM EST up reply actions
but still, no.
I’d like Markakis and Hardy. The Orioles can keep anyone else, thank you very much.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
it's going to be sooooo awesome when adam jones gets traded to cincinnati
O FUKK YEZZ
05.18.10 Written by Big Daddy Drew
Yo yo. Pacman b waxn dat azz wen mista brown a dem O-HIGH-O Buglez sez shiit b bak on.
And Pacman say fa rilly?
And mista brown say fa rilly.
SHIT B BAK ON.
CHUH CHUH.
O fukk yezz. Pacman down widdit. Pacman gon shine. He gon O-HIGH-O and blastn sum a dat azz. He gon bust dat puzzy till itz hamburggr. Den he gon eet dat burger ABABABABABABABABA.
And Pacman gon drank. O HE GON DRANK. U thank he ain’t gon drank? Pacman gon drank tll hiz grillz b 1/2way up dat azz. He gon mak gold toof shorteez in dat puzzy. Datz how da puzzy getz 2 b da puzzy. It ain’t no puzzy less Pacman put sum a hizz ghostz in dat shiit. BLINK BLINK BLINK.
But Pacman heern dem Cinzy whytees don b likin Pacman. Dey sayn Pacman a cruuk. Dey sayn Pacman a blakk. Pacman ain’t no cruuk. He blakk. DASS 4 SHO. But he ain’t no cruuk. Pacman say dem Cinzy whytees see dat blakk snake MOAN an dey get nerviss.
Pacman don b blamn yall. Cuzz dizz blakk snayk GON MOAN. It gon rapp round yo fukkn noggn an mak yall blind. CUZZ PACMAN GOT DAT 100 YARD DIKK. HAW HAW! HE AIN’T PLAYN!!!
So Pacman gon drank. Hee ain’t gon fukk aroun. Pacman gon drank till he b fukkn tearn up bitchezz. Gon do open hart sirgirry on dat puzzy. Gon b yo pacemaka. BULLEE DAT.
Pacman gon 2 da O-HIGH-O.
CHUH CHUH.
by 'tHan on Dec 9, 2011 8:48 AM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Thank you.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
for those wondering, this is the other funniest thing ever written on the internet
by 'tHan on Dec 9, 2011 9:00 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Shit, I can't bullee I've never seen that before!
I still think this is the best thing on the internet.
Newfoundland is Canada's own America.
I love it.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 10, 2011 12:37 PM EST up reply actions
This inspired one of the funniest threads in RR history
Prepare to be supremely confused, recent RRs.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 12, 2011 1:16 AM EST up reply actions
Perusing that thread, I found this little gem of a comment
id give up homer and votto
for Bedard…
by obc2 on Jul 17, 2008 10:15 PM EDT up actions
Hey obc, next time you ask me why you’re not GM, I’ma point to this right here.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 12, 2011 1:24 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
rly?
Jones has the average in:
AVG
SLG
K% (by a goddamn landslide)
and Jones is trending upwards in wOBA while Stubbs is trending down. Jones is also younger than Stubbs.
Aside from 2008, Jones has OPS’d in the neighborhood we want to see from Stubbs that he teased us with in 2010, but who knows if that’s really him?
Adam Jones is better than Drew Stubbs. Jones would completely distance himself from this conversation if he could just learn to talk a goddamn walk.
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 9, 2011 8:51 AM EST up reply actions
I'm just not gonna talk about stubbs anymore
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 9, 2011 10:10 AM EST up reply actions
The Reds have no money and are not talking about Drew Stubbs.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 9, 2011 12:54 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
that's fine
you shouldn’t, b/c you’re wrong when it comes to Stubbs v. BJ Upton
If this was the Supreme Court, they would rule in my favor
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 10, 2011 7:35 PM EST up reply actions
Does defense not matter in CF either?
cuz Stubbs is way better defender. I was just mulling over the idea of Stubbs for Jones straight up. Would I do it? It’s a really really hard choice but I think I would.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
Defense matters in CF
and Stubbs is better than BJ Upton IMO
However, offensively Stubbs needs to vastly improve. In terms of overall players, Upton > Stubbs.
If I were either team, I’d rather have Jones, and that has nothing to do with my feelings for Stubbs either way, b/c Stubbs strikes out a ton, and Jones doesn’t walk enough, but he doesn’t strikeout, but they both have their warts.
Jones just has less warts, and will get paid accordingly
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 10, 2011 7:38 PM EST up reply actions
This trade is insane
are you an Orioles fan?
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
That group is "ready to step up"
OK, Cueto stepped up (in a partial season). Leake doesn’t have a huge step forward in him but he’s fine. If by step up you mean actually walk out onto the mound, then yes Arroyo will step up. This will be the 5th straight year Bailey was supposed to step up, hasn’t happened yet. Chapman, well nobody even knows what to think about Chapman for 2012. Wood could step up and be a serviceable 5th starter or even a 4th; not good enough.
You like that rotation in the playoffs (assuming it gets us there)? This whole post is full of crazy.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
gangster
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Yes she is.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 9, 2011 10:35 AM EST up reply actions
Why is Ellen Page wearing a Reds hat?
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
by UncleWeez on Dec 9, 2011 3:44 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
shit, at this point I hope he buys the team.
That banana stand would have some money!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 9, 2011 10:37 AM EST up reply actions
But, there's always money in the banana stand!
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
My 12 year-old daughter
hates the Biebs. It makes me so proud.
I want to hate Tim Tebow, but for some reason, I don't
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 9, 2011 10:56 AM EST up reply actions
BIEBER FEVER!!
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 10, 2011 7:39 PM EST up reply actions
I've been away from here since the season ended
This thread made me full of joy
I'm ready to face any challenges that may be foolish enough to face me
hehe
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 9, 2011 12:55 PM EST up reply actions
Matt Moore
Rays lock up Moore 5 years 14 million plus 3 options could bring the total to 37.5 million. The move might lead to Moore starting the season in Tampa instead of AAA perhaps leading to the trade of a SP.
Jack McKeon on 2000 Reds "We have more MRI's than RBI's on this club."
not as sexy as Longo's
but wow, c’mon walt get Shields
Jack McKeon on 2000 Reds "We have more MRI's than RBI's on this club."
They're doing it from the inside!!!
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
They had better not have quoted me and made it seem like I was serious
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
golf course'd
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 10, 2011 7:40 PM EST up reply actions

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