Red It, Watched It, And Wept - Week of 12/30

What do you give the Manager who says he has everything? Pitching, because he's probably lying about having everything. (Photo by Rob Tringali/Getty Images)

Covering what other writers are too scared too preoccupied with actual news to cover.

It’s the last RIWIAW of 2011! If this was any other (mostly) weekly internet publication, we’d flood this space with 2011 superlatives, lists of things you should have read, and perhaps something shlocky about how great the holidays are. However, since we abhor clichés, lack imagination, are satisfied with drawing from the same well, you’re going to get what you came for: sweatermeat! newsish things.

Saturday: Comment of the Week! Yep, we're leading off with it!

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Sunday: The Gift That Keeps On Giving (Recs)

Blockbuster deals don't happen on Christmas. Good blockbuster deals don't happen two days after Christmas, either. Therefore, we need to find ways to keep ourselves entertained while we work the Holiday Desk at RIWIAW. This means we spent most of the day astonished at RijoSaboCaseyWKRP's Christmas song and his rarest gift of all: paragraph breaks.

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Monday: Good Grief

As evidenced by this column, they’ll publish anybody who proclaims to be a Reds fan. Today’s indictment on internet media? Some dude (no, not THAT dude) comparing Jay Bruce, Drew Stubbs, and Chris Heisey to Adam Dunn. Yeah, looking at them play ball is like looking into a three-way glass. (I think that’s a thing. Can you help me out, editors?)

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Tuesday: After the Fall (and Winter Meetings)

After going into #originalcontent overload following the Marshall and Latos deals, we took a step back to badmouth the trading of Single A prospects at positions where we have glut of talent reflect on the move. After further evaluation, we determined the moves simply weren't cases of monkey see, monkey do(o-doo). Rather, they were calculated, shrewd, and not-at-all desperate. And that's just looking from the position of Theo Epstein and Josh Byrnes!

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Wednesday: Cooperstown Bound?

We gotta admit, it's tough to find baseball stories written in the professional media the week after Christmas since everyone appears to be on mandatory furlough vacation. However, that doesn't mean that these folks stop having opinions. It's becoming more and more clear that the voters for the Baseball Hall of Fame place Barry Larkin in Cooperstown this summer. While we know his bust will have a Reds hat on, we're not sure whether or not Larkin will be enshrined wearing earrings.

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Thursday: But We Don't Wanna Consider The Source!

How slow of a week has this been? So slow that a line in Joe Sheehan's weekly blather gets front-page treatment on Red Reporter. Sheehan has predicted that OUR Cincinnati Reds will win the 2012 World Series. This guy knows his stuff, too. After all, he predicted Wily Mo Pena to be a breakout superstar in 2008. And his accuracy concerning World Series picks? Why, last year, he predicted that the Red Sox will win the 2011 World Series. That turned out well, right?

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Friday: You Can't Celebrate 2012 Until You're Finished Complaining About 2011

In its weekly requirement to maintain access to the Bengals' locker room by sucking up to Mike Brown, Paul Daugherty's blog at the Enquirer today asks fans (and most importantly, himself!) what they're/he's wishing to see in 2012. The list consists of pedestrian desires of Bronson pitching well, Stubbs playing at the level where he's no longer fodder for writers like Daugherty, and wanting to see more of Chris Heisey (really?). We at RIWIAW agree with the first two wishes, but will gladly remove the third and replace it with a starting left fielder a desire to see the Reds outdraw the Bengals within their first homestand of 2012.


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