The Ins and Outs of the Marshall and Latos trades
I did a quick side-by-side, aggregate comparison of the talent flowing in and out of Cincinnati in the Reds' two big transactions this offseason. While the gulf in years of team control changing hands is staggering - and so is the MLB WAR values for 2011 - if you're in need of a tie-breaker, I'd submit the sheer near-term upside of Latos and Marshall (not fully reflected below). Marshall was the third-best reliever in all of baseball last year by FanGraphs' WAR, among other measures, while the case for Latos as the youngest member of the elite among MLB starters has been made.
It messes up the mind a little to digest these two trades, what with all the players switching teams and the decisiveness of the transactions in the face of accusations of Walt's alleged risk-aversion. Consider the risk not averted.
NOTE: Years of control is estimated based on prospect ETAs.
| Latos & Marshall | Players traded away | |
| Ages | 29, 24 | 24.14 (avg.) |
| Years of control | 5 | 39 |
| 2011 MLB fWAR | 6.0 | 0.7 |
| 2011 MLB bWAR | 5.1 | -0.7 |
| 2012 MLB salary | $3.6M | $3.5M |
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Comments
Using "years of control" is misleading
Because not all of those prospects are going to make it to the majors.
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 24, 2011 9:30 AM EST reply actions
Maybe so
It’s a reasonable estimate to try to put a ratio on trading the future for the present. “Team can control” can include time spent in the minors next year or periodically. And all years of control aren’t created equal.
Torreyes is the only player I think could never reach the majors. Sappelt could be a 5th OF next year – and remain one indefinitely.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 24, 2011 11:35 AM EST up reply actions
A quick look in Walt's Brain... Merry Christmas Christians

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
by Madville on Dec 24, 2011 9:53 AM EST reply actions 6 recs
Fa la la la la
la la Latos
... I still say it was a touchdown, got tammit.
by supergrover on Dec 24, 2011 10:45 AM EST up reply actions
This is nice. I like it a lot. Probably my favorite thing I've ever seen Mads post.
Reminds me…
‘Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening’ by Robert Frost
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 24, 2011 11:26 AM EST up reply actions 6 recs
Merry Christmas from Robert Frosty
The trees are lovely, tall and svelte
But I’ve got snow beneath my belt
And miles to go before I melt
And miles to go before I melt

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Dec 24, 2011 12:02 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Ho ho ho!
You’re a bum
You’re a punk
You’re an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it’s our last

by FordhamRam on Dec 24, 2011 12:23 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
What a great song
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 24, 2011 12:46 PM EST up reply actions
I know, I'd lose my shit if some faggot called me a scumbag
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
he'd have to be
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 27, 2011 12:51 AM EST up reply actions
why only Christians?
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
It's Happy Holidays
for the non Christians
PC’d
Jack McKeon on 2000 Reds "We have more MRI's than RBI's on this club."
http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-4-christmas-articles-youll-see-internet/
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
Who the hell else give a damn about the birth of Jesus etc etc.
Esp. from a religious/worship point of view?
Muslims ? NO
Buddhist ?>No
Zoroastrians? NO
Jews? No
Hindus? NO
and any and all indigenous peoples and their various and specific creation myths ? NO

The St. Louis Cardinals ? NO
American Consumer Ethos – Order out of Chaos –
(not for Christian women only)
That about covers it.
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
the point was that christmas has very little to do with jesus' birth, but that topic has been covered here i believe
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
Does this look like Joseph and Mary to you ?

NOBODY BUT CHRISTIAN GIVE A HOOT ABOUT THE BIRTH OF JESUS.
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
It sorta looks like Joseph on the left...
…but Mary’s gonna have to move her hand out from in front of her muff for me to make a positive ID.
"if you want to sound like god, Orange is the way to go" - DerekH91
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 4:15 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
There's so much so that I can barely see a volleyball starlet in a sports bra.
"if you want to sound like god, Orange is the way to go" - DerekH91
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 4:13 AM EST up reply actions
trades...
it’s been refresshing to see so much written, pro and con, about trades this time around since two of the biggest have involved the reds…as a cincinnati fan for some 55 years now, and also a baseball fan, what i’ve learned in all this time is that trades always come down to one thing…simply put, how did they work out for the teams involved…and of course, that usually means which team improved, and often did either team get to the post season…
seldom do trades actually carry with them ‘locks’ as to how they will work out because they involve players who are still in the minor leagues, etc., or possibly involve teams who are either not getting someone who will really be a difference maker or are ‘selling off’’ in order to position themselves for ‘rebuilding’…
it would appear that the reds got a lot better for next season here…none of the players they traded was likely to have a consistent or big impact on their situation next year while the two pitchers coming their way both project to significantly improve the team’s performance. this says nothing, of course, of longer-term considerations, but face it, baseball is a game that is played by players who, percentagewise, are largely short term in significantly contributing to a team’s success…those who have more than one or two truly good seasons are very rare, and those who put up 5 solid, productive years are actually the few…many, many more players come and go, and eeven if they ‘make it’, are not around too long…yes, some of these players are, but as role players, etc., often bouncing around from team to team…
in short, for every bigtime player at any position, there are literally hundreds who try to just make it…
and here’s the funny thing…with all the commentary on these two trades, i have to wonder why there was so little said about that trade a few years back, in the winter of ’99-2000…the reds gave a few players for a guy named ken griffey, jr, a true all-star, already an all-time great and still playing…and everyone seemed to love it except maybe those fans in seattle…but me, i was thinking at the time…and yes, saying it, too….NO NO NO!! my reds were getting a 12-year MLB veteran with all the proven ability and accomplishment you could ask for, and i was saying NO NO NO!!
but that was a truly different thing, folks…the ‘99 reds were a cinderella team that also had a lot of promise…what it needed was PITCHING!! it didn’t need a position player, really, even if that player was a big upgrade…the team had, actually, by the end of the year, noone who was really a proven starter and still healthy, and no prospects coming along…and getting a superstar who could only bat one time each time through the lineup, maybe 650 times a year if he stayed healthy, was not going to help them…i predicted the reds would not finish higher than fourth place during the run of that contract, and fumed about the fact that they not only hadn’t improved the team, but had hamstrung their budget by putting some 25% of their payroll capability into this one player…
poing is…this is a totally different team now…it has good pitching that needed a little augmentation…and this time, instead of spending $10 million a year to get a left fielder like so many clamored for…maybe it would have been some help, but i really doubt that carlos beltran, for example, will be more productive than chris heisey, say, next year…or play as many games…the team has gone out and actually done something that could and likely will make them a lot better next year…
me, i can’t tell you if latos and marshall will be everything they might be or that we all want them to be…what i can tell you is…this is a good effort on the part of the reds to improve and actually make a difference next season, maybe longer…
by alcory11 on Dec 24, 2011 10:03 AM EST reply actions 2 recs
I agree in general
though I don’t think Heisey will be equally valuable to Beltran. But for all my claims of an “overpay” for Marshall, I’m thrilled at the prospect of him coming out of our bullpen with a 1 run lead in the late innings and 2 guys on base (after Latos throws a gem) and shutting the other team down to get to the ninth, or to get the win. That’s fucking exciting, if you’ll pardon the expression.
How long til pitchers and catchers report?
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
at least there paragraph breaks
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
True, I should go back and give it a shot
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
and he only has 7 posts here
you could be more inviting Mr. Moderator!
He hasn’t said anything bad about Aaron Harang so he doesn’t need to be run off!
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 26, 2011 10:53 AM EST up reply actions
I read it. It was pleasant enough.
Even a bit refreshing to have someone offer that much of their own personal insight and perspective (and ‘hunches’) about nothing other than the good ol’ Cincinnati Reds. But truth be told he pretty much just restated Slyde’s simple one or two line comment that last I saw had ten recs.
So I’ll bet Alcory can learn how we do things around here. We just need to be a little bit nicer during the process.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 26, 2011 7:11 PM EST up reply actions
let's all spin "man in the mirror"
Great lyrics!
But Prince is still 2-3x better than WackoJacko
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 26, 2011 7:23 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
But Prince doesn't rape little boys.
So he’s got that going for him. Which is nice.
"if you want to sound like god, Orange is the way to go" - DerekH91
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 4:17 AM EST up reply actions
Hey, Mike's done with that shit now!
Seems like it’s been a good few years when it comes to shutting down high-profile child rapists.
I’ll drink to that!
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 27, 2011 10:55 AM EST up reply actions
Of all the wrong things you've ever said, this is easily the most wrong.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
didn't mean to be less than nice...
guess i’ve been a reds fan too long in some ways…more than 56 years ago, it was, when i got into baseball and the reds…lol…but i’ve watched how it all went, the frank robinson trade, etc…and sometimes i just have to vent about it all…i really do try to be levelheaded and nice…and yes, i do see ‘how we do it around here’…much of it is a bit more than cryptic, too, but i read it…me, i kind of like a little…well, no matter…thanks for the pointers, though
Oh no, you're fine!
(In my estimation. FWTW.)
I was saying that I thought some of us could be a little bit nicer to you!
Soo.. what kind of beer do ya drink, old timer?
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 27, 2011 10:37 AM EST up reply actions
You're fine, don't let that notorious asshole FVA get you down
Seriously though, it can take a little while to get used to. In the immortal words of our Lord and our Savior, “Hi, Hello, & Welcome!”
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
and in case we don't see ya
good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
We are talking about Jim Carrey from the Truman Show, right? You guys all worship him too?
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
I was talking about the Grandest of them all, you damned freak
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I may have mentioned this before on other threads
But we really need to trade for CARLOS QUENTIN.
I’d say one of Heisey or Frazier for Quentin
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 24, 2011 11:12 AM EST reply actions
/kicksownshins
/breakskeyboard
/cracksbeer
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 24, 2011 12:07 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
can you tell me why you want Quentin so badly?
he’s Alonsonian on D, injury prone, and when you weigh the contracts, the ~ .40 points of OPS isn’t worth it. When you factor defensive value AND cost, then it’s a no-brainer
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
Reasons I think Carlos Quentin will be a 4-5WAR player
1. Second year removed from an muscle injury from a 2009 muscle injury to foot that kept him on the DL for 2 months. 2010 wasn’t very good, 2011 was better. 2012 will be best.
2. CONTRACT YEAR Muscle Injuries take a lot of hard work to recover from, and I am sure nothing is more motivating that knowing you are playing for possibly a big contract.
3. Statistically he was awesome until he got injuried, and last year is probably his floor for next year at 2.8 WAR and that is still pretty damn good. Career minor league OBP was .429, his highest BABIP ever was .287 and that was a 4.8 WAR year!!!!
4. Contract is affordable at yeilding probably 7 mil in final year of arbitration.
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 25, 2011 5:12 PM EST up reply actions
All I know is
This off-season beats the hell out of trading for or signing a bunch of mid-level nobodies and hoping someone can break out. Walt is shaping the roster, and doing it quite nicely if you ask me. The future is still a scary unknown, but I like this team a lot better than I did at the start of 2011.
Merry Christmas everybody!
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Dec 24, 2011 11:40 AM EST reply actions 10 recs
Rec
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 24, 2011 11:54 AM EST up reply actions
tum hell, damned near killed 'em both
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I like the fact that he's going all-in
to win these next couple seasons. I would much rather have a legitimate shot at actually winning The Pennant than just fielding a competitive team.
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 24, 2011 12:30 PM EST up reply actions
The Grinch looks like a tired old queen in that picture.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Sorta looks like an ex of mine, +1....
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
obtuse
that is all.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
Well, you can't be straight and right at the same time.
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
/Clinton&Bush's military'd
"if you want to sound like god, Orange is the way to go" - DerekH91
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 4:19 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I really like Doug, met him, very nice guy
but I had to troll his site. The comments over there are out of hand.
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
Yeah it's only a matter of time before the Marshall trade gets compared to Teixera to Braves
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 24, 2011 11:55 AM EST up reply actions
Including Doug's own statement
That he wouldn’t have traded Sappelt for Marshall straight up. I understand about getting attached to guys, but that’s just silly.
by poojols on Dec 24, 2011 8:47 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
I don't think it's that he's attached to Sappelt
He just doesn’t think relief pitchers are all that valuable. 60 innings is just not worth a lot, no matter how good those innings are. Or that’s his theory, anyway.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
he kept throwing around different IP qualifiers for relievers
but, I think the dirtster also said Sappelt & Torreyes were better prospects than Alonso..
I know someone on his site said those words..
regardless, a lot of unfounded prospect lust on that site
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 24, 2011 10:17 PM EST up reply actions
innings...
well, as for innings a relief pitcher throws, look at this way…say you have a monster rotation, 5 guys all giving you 200+ inningsd, say 1100 overall…162 games without an extra innings would leave about 350 or so innings…that means about 60 innings apiece for the 6 relievers, and sure, if we have all this going, it’s pretty much a lock the team finishes on top and likely does very well in the post season, no one overworked, all things being just fine…of course, that would mean that you don’t have a couple or three of those relievers having regular meltdowns during their appearances…point is, all this is optimum, and we know that even very good rotations are probably going to get about 950 innings even if they are very solid, thus leaving about 500 innings for the bullpen…overall, i’d say a kickbutt reliever doing his job very well over 60-70 innings per year is more than worth a very good 4th outfielder, and face it, sappelt has yet to show that he can do that…me, i have little doubt the kid will make it, maybe even play regularly someplace, but unlike marshall in the bullpen, sappelt has yet to prove anything…and if he does prove to be very good, well and fine…but i’ll take marshall right now for the reds because he’s very likely to make the bullpen a lot more defined and settled…
I kinda side with Doug
in that I don’t think it’s worth paying a lot for a relief pitcher.
I think Doug is right about the number of innings. I am also wary of relief pitchers because they have a tendency to fall off a cliff unexpectedly. Even if you have deep pockets, it’s really hard to assemble a good bullpen, because relievers are so unpredictable. (See Cashman and the Yankees.)
It’s not so much that I love Sap or hate Marshall. It’s that I think the Reds’ resources (prospects and money) would be better put to another use. I think a team like the Reds should grow their own pen (closer included), rather than try to buy one. They’re as likely to be successful, IMO.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Because I know everyone was waiting with bated breath for my opinion,
I’m with you. I’m not convinced Marshall is going to be much more than Bray, and I’m certainly not convinced he’s worth the prospects. Not because prospects are awesome, but because relievers aren’t. The fact that Marshall looks like one of my friends and that Walt is trying to rebuild the 2007 Cubs bullpen doesn’t help assuage my thoughts.
I’m not going to be gnashing my teeth or anything, though. If you want to win in 2012 & 2013, it’s a decent move, I suppose. Just not one I’m thrilled with.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 25, 2011 11:23 AM EST up reply actions
i dunno.
i’m not so sure relievers aren’t being UNDERvalued by today’s observers. The bottom line is, somebody has to come in in a pinch and throw those innings, and if the people coming in to throw those innings are bad, it will lead to lots of losses. They may only be throwing 60 innings, but those 60 innings are more important, leverage-wise. (This is with my typical no-research approach, btw. But someone should go back and take another look.)
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
I get that
but I am very comfortable with Arredondo, Bray, LeCure, Masset, and Ondrusek to take care of that. That really only leaves one hole, assuming the loser of the Chapman Bailey sweepstakes moves to the bullpen, who I am sure they could find an adequate pitcher on the free agent market. leaving Wood or Bailey to be moved for a left fielder. Or saving both Wood and Bailey for a rainy day.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 25, 2011 12:29 PM EST up reply actions
That being said, if the Reds had their current starting rotation, and 2007's bullpen
I would make this trade without thinking twice.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 25, 2011 12:33 PM EST up reply actions
I don't think Walt's done trading
‘Ol Hoss is out of options, they won’t send Leake down, and we’re stuck with Arroyo in the rotation.
Hopefully he’s finding a way to get rid of Arroyo, that would be the best gift EVER. Or he’s done trading, and we’ll never see Chapman in the rotation and he’ll start 2012 up in the pen.
So either Walt’s going to trade Bailey or Arroyo, or we won’t see Chapman in the 2012 rotation.
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 12:39 PM EST up reply actions
Because nobody gets hurt?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 25, 2011 12:41 PM EST up reply actions
someone will get hurt, we all know this
but right now who do you stash as that 6th SP and where do you stash them?
Chapman? AAA? Reds bullpen?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 12:48 PM EST up reply actions
The bullpen
Bailey can serve as the long man, assuming the other 5 make it through spring training without getting hurt.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Trying to move Bailey to the pen would be really dumb at this point
Basically, the options are Arroyo traded or to the pen, Leake to AAA, Chapman to the pen or AAA. Only one of these three seems remotely likely.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
He works as the long man
and if Chapman or Arroyo suck, or if somebody gets hurt, he is back in the rotation.
Doesn’t seem that dumb to me.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 26, 2011 10:54 AM EST up reply actions
Fair enough
I’d be surprised if the Reds did it though. It’s also a bad idea from the “all in” perspective since Bailey is probably one of our best 4 starters. But who knows.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
Arroyo's contract become prohibitively uber-expensive if traded.
We simply can’t move him.
"if you want to sound like god, Orange is the way to go" - DerekH91
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 4:21 AM EST up reply actions
Embrace the no research approach
Bailey will probably end up being our long man once they finally plug Chapman into the rotation. Until then I guess give it to Carlos Fisher.
The rest of our bullpen: Arredondo, Bray, LeCure, Marshall, Masset, and Ondrusek will have to ptich some important innings.
I think that relievers are undervalued until it becomes the trade deadline, then teams want to hold other teams hostage to obtain them.
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 12:35 PM EST up reply actions
Hmmm,
it’s basically a theoretical argument, I guess. How important/relevant leverage is could be interesting, and I think you have a point.
After thinking about it more, it’s replacing Donnie Joseph/Phil Valiquette with Marshall. That sounds pretty big in a pennant race. Just, well, I was on the Travis Wood bandwagon since he was drafted, so it stings to let him go. I don’t think he’s gonna do too well in Wrigley. Torreyes could end up being something, I’m personally convinced. That’s all.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Yeah, there's a few things that make valuing relievers tricky
Leverage and chaining are probably the biggest variables. A reasonable projection for Marshall is something like 60 innings and 15 runs (to make the math easy; it’s likely more runs and innings). Replacement level would be something like 30 runs, which is only a 1.5 win deficit under the 10 runs = 1 win rule of thumb. But when you consider that we were bad/unlucky in one-run games last year (29-33, and worse for most of the year), I think getting a dominant arm for high-leverage situations makes sense. Especially because we didn’t have a good candidate to replace Cordero’s ’11 production (160 ERA+, 20 runs, 69 innings) – even if he returns.
Yankees reference. Drink.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 25, 2011 11:34 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
I knew I wasn't the only one that played this drinking game
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 12:31 PM EST up reply actions
common
Can’t you take time off from being a dick, seeing as it’s Christmas and all?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
It is even worse
he doesn’t have his students to be dicks to this week.
Are you a dick teacher nycredsfan?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 25, 2011 12:41 PM EST up reply actions
or it was funny, and you can laugh at it?
wasn’t anything dickish about what he said at all
if you took offense, that’s on you
Merry Christmas!
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 12:43 PM EST up reply actions
I'm a red-blooded American
80% of American non-Christians celebrate Christmas. It’s an American holiday, not a religious one. My family has always celebrated a godless Christmas. I think I was in college before I realized Easter and Christmas were considered religious holidays.
What’s not to like? Peace on earth, good will toward men (even if most of them are dicks ;-), joy to the world, and rampant consumerism above all!
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
And it's like magic for the little ones in our lives, too.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 25, 2011 1:43 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
geez
Those poor kitties.
My sister just e-mailed me a photo of her cat sitting in front of the fireplace, playing with the catnip football I sent. Almost makes me want to get a cat and a fireplace.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
To throw the cat into?
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 25, 2011 2:10 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
If I've said it once I've said it a hundred times, cats are evil
Look at those little fuckers, lookin’ for a soul to steal.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
red-blooded 'Merican!
pass the Whiskey!
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 1:56 PM EST up reply actions
And and for what its worth
Christ wasn’t born in December, but Christmas is celebrated in December because the pagans had a great winter celebration long before Christianity.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Or more to BubbaFan's point..
’Merican Christmas is sell-sell-sell-celebrated in December because retailers like to finish Q1 with a lot of black ink while the banks and other creditors like to see us owing them a lot of money at the start of Q2.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 25, 2011 2:19 PM EST up reply actions
You shut your whore mouth
If Christ wasn’t born on Christmas I have to claim Einstein, Jimmy Buffet, Rickey Henderson, or Clara Barton as my famous birthday buddy.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
what?
Einstein was born in March. He was a spring training baby, not a Christmas baby.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Dec 26, 2011 8:28 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
expert'd
March 14, 1879
BF – 1
jch – 0
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 9:54 AM EST up reply actions
hahaha, whoops
Got my scientists confused. It was Isaac Newton that was born on Christmas. I was just hoping it was Einstein I guess.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
which one was more important?
Newton or Einstein? Go!
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 10:52 AM EST up reply actions
Yo momma.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 26, 2011 11:03 AM EST up reply actions
Aww!
I’ll tell her you said so!
but no, really..
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 11:54 AM EST up reply actions
It's the same argument as Michael Jackson vs. Prince
Without Newton, there is no Einstein. Without MJ, there is no Prince. Newton and MJ laid the groundwork that was the springboard for Einstein and Prince to be great in their own ways.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
does Led Zepplin happen on their own?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 11:54 AM EST up reply actions
No, but that's irrelevant because Led Zepplin ain't worth a fuck
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 26, 2011 12:00 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
you. shut. your. whore. mouth.
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 12:31 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Led Zepplin doesn't happen
without Robert Johnson, John Lee Hooker, Muddy Waters, etc.
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
show your work..
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 4:09 PM EST up reply actions
Well, it's pretty well-known that many of the early British rock bands --
The Rolling Stones, The Who, Eric Clapton, Cream, Zeppelin — were influenced by folk and blues musicians. Led Zeppelin remade (and “stole” ie:covered uncredited) many blues tunes: Dazed and Confused (Jack Holmes), Whole Lotta Love, Bring it On Home (Wille Dixon), Traveling Riverside Blues, In my Time of Dying (Robert Johnson). There are a lot more, and of course, Led Zeppelin put their own spin on those songs, but the fact that they covered so many blues/folk songs would imply that they were influenced by those artists. I could probably find some quotes from Robert Plant and Jimmy Page if you make me!
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
and there you have it
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 7:33 PM EST up reply actions
I'm not having it.
Prince was gonna do his thing regardless of whatever records were being made just before him or at the same time.
He was too talented and daring as a songwriter (and as a musician) to be much concerned with whatever tricks Quincy Jones had up his sleeve.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 26, 2011 1:11 PM EST up reply actions
so there you have it
plus, Prince has arguably put out better stuff than MJ
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 1:14 PM EST up reply actions
Prince probably has six mediocre-to-good records for every one of Mike's.
And if you were to count ‘Bad’ and ‘Dangerous’ among Mike’s good-to-great albums (though I don’t know that we should) Prince wipes the floor with him there too. 8*-4.
[*] ‘Sign o’ the Times’ is a double album but I’ll not count it twice.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 26, 2011 1:53 PM EST up reply actions
Problem is...
…when I hear Jacko, I think of little cancer kids getting raped.
I wish I didn’t. If I ran a department store, I’d never let “P.Y.T.” play on the speakers.
"if you want to sound like god, Orange is the way to go" - DerekH91
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 4:26 AM EST up reply actions
solid argument, Mads
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 27, 2011 12:52 AM EST up reply actions
Early Prince is MJ plus guitars
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
First of all..
..define ‘early.’
Secondly, buy ‘guitars’ you mean an actual musical instrument that the brother went to the trouble to learn how to play?
Thirdly, I’m not sure how your comment helps defend your case.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 26, 2011 1:31 PM EST up reply actions
it might just be that jch prefers MJ's ass to Prince's
which is not the correct ass to prefer
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 1:33 PM EST up reply actions
Hey, look, we're back to arguing semantics!
Prince is a GREAT musician and my believing that MJ is a better artist doesn’t diminish that. MJ absolutely revolutionized pop music as we know it.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Prince had the Revolution.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 26, 2011 3:28 PM EST up reply actions
ISWYDY

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 26, 2011 3:55 PM EST up reply actions
MJ was untouchable as an artist, dancer, performer, songwriter, arranger and above an incredible singer.
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
"Untouchable" perhaps because this shoulder was head and shoulders (and then some) better than Mike as well.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 26, 2011 9:43 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
"..this GUY was head and shoulders better..."
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 26, 2011 9:44 PM EST up reply actions
rec'd!
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 28, 2011 10:14 AM EST up reply actions
Well, I hope you are enjoying your Godless XMas!
My gift to you is not warning you for calling me a dick, twice.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 25, 2011 2:05 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
you'd need a pair of balls attacked to that dick to do it!
Merry Christmas nycredsfan!

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Merry Christmas to you, too
Is it true churches are closed for Christmas this year?
But what’s this site coming to? First no Brendan’s mom jokes, now we can’t call you a dick? We’re going to be left with nothing but Jsutin’s glory holes.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Seriously!
HLM even joins threads on the same day they’re posted!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 25, 2011 2:42 PM EST up reply actions
I've been in a lot of threads same day, bruh
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 8:03 PM EST up reply actions
Not on Jewish holidays.
"if you want to sound like god, Orange is the way to go" - DerekH91
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 4:37 AM EST up reply actions
I converted?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 27, 2011 1:55 PM EST up reply actions
That is not true.
Most churches had 1 service this morning, AFAIK. Mrs. Creds and I did 2 “lessons and carols” services last weekend—1 in Boston, 1 in NYC—and a midnight service in Hyde Park last night. And we don’t exchange gifts with anyone, including each other.
So we pretty much had the opposite Christmas from yours.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Wait a minute!
Why would you spend all day celebrating the opposite of peace, goodwill and joy!?!
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 25, 2011 2:56 PM EST up reply actions
why should christmas be any different fro him?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I almost hit a couple of pedestrians last night
They were on their way to midnight mass, I was running to Walgreens for an HDMI cable to make my new A/V receiver work.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 25, 2011 11:44 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
it was their fault for being in your way
HDMI cables are way more important than midnight mass
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 9:54 AM EST up reply actions
philosophical question?
which one is more rewarding?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 10:54 AM EST up reply actions
Sounds more rheotorical than philisophical
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
it's rhetorical to you and me
it’s philosophical to others
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 11:55 AM EST up reply actions
I am having a philosophical debate about your rhetoric.
"if you want to sound like god, Orange is the way to go" - DerekH91
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 4:46 AM EST up reply actions
you'll have that
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 27, 2011 1:55 PM EST up reply actions
I bought my sister a season of DVDs of a show I thought she'd love.
But she got a new computer without a cd input, doesn’t have a tv, and she hates the show.
:-(
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
what was the show?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 7:33 PM EST up reply actions
Epitafios.
Argentine murder mystery that’s really dark and full of people who make terrible mistakes. It’s really atmospheric, but frustrating if you want protagonists.
It was on HBO during my high school years, and I kind of fell in love with it.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I love atmosphere but I can't stand a lack of protagonists. I've always said that.
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
I have the kind of family who will host me for 3 days in NYC
and watch television all three days.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 26, 2011 11:03 PM EST up reply actions
maybe you should have gotten her a television instead
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Dec 27, 2011 6:41 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Gift receipts say, "I love you."
"if you want to sound like god, Orange is the way to go" - DerekH91
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 4:46 AM EST up reply actions
Churches were open this morning
I almost went just for S&Gs
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 8:03 PM EST up reply actions
This
I would not complain at all if Wood was part of a package for a starting left fielder.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 25, 2011 12:25 PM EST up reply actions
That's a damned lie and you know it
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 25, 2011 11:44 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I think a left fielder is much more important for the 2012 Reds than a reliever
the bullpen without Coco and Marshall will most likely be fine.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 26, 2011 10:56 AM EST up reply actions
My point is, you would have complained either way
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
that can be said about a lot of us
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 11:55 AM EST up reply actions
i don't think I would have complained as much if it was Wood for Seth Smith
I would still be somewhat concerned about the starting pitching depth, but Seth Smith fills a big hole, Sean Marshall does not.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 26, 2011 12:33 PM EST up reply actions
if we don't sign a closer (and I don't think we will), I'm pretty sure this filled a big hole
we trotted out a ton of suck to LF last year primarily with Gomes. We’ll be fine with Heisey.
We do need a 4th OF, and Sappelt was an awful option to begin with
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 12:55 PM EST up reply actions
i'm pretty sure it didn't
the bullpen was a plus without marshall.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Marshall > CoCo
IMO the bullpen is better now
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 7:34 PM EST up reply actions
But is Marshall more valuable than Seth Smith?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
without a shadow of a doubt (in my mind) yes
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 27, 2011 12:52 AM EST up reply actions
it's very possible we'll need at least 550 IP from our bullpen in 2012
I would rather have those innings now go to Marshall than anything Sappelt could have tried to offer offensively. And the argument and hub bub is very misguided around this trade.
We gave up a miscast bullpen arm for a great bullpen arm, and in the process sent a 19 2B prospect, and a AAA/AAAA type OF who really has no business taking playing time away from Heisey. Sappelt was OF depth at best, but never should have started. If he did, that was a testament to The Dusty not helping himself.
We didn’t pay hardly anything for Marshall. People need to realize that.
This trade was very similar to the Latos trade in that we traded guys who were blocked or didn’t fit into our current roster configuration.
The Reds are a better team after this trade, we won’t miss either of Sappelt or Torreyes
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 12:30 PM EST up reply actions
This may be true
the thing we will likely never know is how much it would have cost to bring Seth Smith to town.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 25, 2011 12:34 PM EST up reply actions
I'm fine with letting Heisey start
Sappelt wasn’t a good 4th OF, so we still need to address that
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 12:44 PM EST up reply actions
seth smith
lefty hitter with terrible splits…platoon player at best…
he ops'd over .800 in 147 games last year.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I want my corner OFer to OPS .850+.
"if you want to sound like god, Orange is the way to go" - DerekH91
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 4:48 AM EST up reply actions
/Alonso'd
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 27, 2011 9:05 AM EST up reply actions
so do I
but Smith’s .800 is probably the best the Reds can do with all their possible internal and external candidates (if Smith really is available at a fair price).
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I wouldn't be surprised if Heisey pushed .800
I think there’s very little chance he’ll eclipse it, but I wouldn’t be shocked if he sat around .790 or so
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
Maybe
but if we are going for it all, it would be cool to have that. .790.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 27, 2011 12:07 PM EST up reply actions
We won't miss any of Wood, Sappelt, Torreyes?
that’s quite a prediction.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
we might miss Wood, maybe. I never said we wouldn't miss him.
we won’t miss Sappelt or Torreyes. You can mark that, dude
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 9:56 AM EST up reply actions
Well I miss Torreyes already!
we might not miss Sappelt, but it doesn’t mean he won’t be decent.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
why do you miss Torreyes already?
he was 19 and in what, A ball?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 11:56 AM EST up reply actions
and 19..
so he’s a lock to be the next BP?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 7:35 PM EST up reply actions
Hahaha
of course he’s not, I just liked the guy! It was the first time I’ve ever been super high on a a prospect and now it’s dashed. Don’t you remember your first time?
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
which first time are we talkin' about?
Reds prospect that broke my heart..
Ty Howington..
other first time, that was 14 years and 4 women ago.. yeah, 4..
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 27, 2011 5:17 PM EST up reply actions
I should have used my sarcasm font
4 is not the correct number, I was downplaying some manwhoreness
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Jan 1, 2012 2:23 PM EST up reply actions
how many IP do you think our rotation will give us?
assuming Arroyo isn’t hurt, he’ll give us around 200 (no idea of the quality of those IP)
Cueto might give us around 200, but definitely at least 180
Latos should give us around 200
Leake will probably only give us around 175 ish
Without knowing our 5th SP (I hope it’s Chapman, although it’ll probably be Bailey to start as much as I hope that isn’t the case), Bailey if he was in the rotation the whole year would probably only give us around 165, and it seems folks think Chapman might crack 120. Might. So average that out and you’re lookin’ at around 140 ish.
So I’d put the over/under for the 2012 at 900 IP.
That means we still need 558 IP from our bullpen, now coming from Arredondo, Bray, LeCure, Marshall, Masset, Ondrusek. That averages out to 93 per guy, which we know we won’t see, and I have a feeling we’ll see bullpen IP from both Bailey & Chapman.
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 12:15 PM EST up reply actions
Why do you assume Bailey would lonly pitch 165 innings if he is healthy the entire year
The last 3 years he has been a 6 inning pitcher, so I would assume he can pitch about 180-200 innings if he stays healthy and makes 30+ starts.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 25, 2011 12:31 PM EST up reply actions
I don't think Bailey will be in the rotation the whole year
I think we’ll see around 140 IP from our 5th SP, a combo of Bailey and Chapman.
If Bailey pitched the entire year as the 5 SP, I don’t think he’d see 30 GS as the 5, and I think we’d still only see maybe 170 IP from him, but I had him in the 165 range.
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 12:46 PM EST up reply actions
he averaged 6 innings a start last year
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
yeah, I read that..
but how many starts do you think he’ll get?
even if all 5 SP get 32, then he’d pitch 192 for those 32 starts.
I don’t think he’ll get 32 starts, regardless of averaging 6 IP per start..
I think we’ll see him and Chapman split those 32 starts, and it’s possible Bailey might only get 20 of them. Hard to say really..
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 1:15 PM EST up reply actions
bullpen
well, think you are right about arroyo, latos, and cueto coming in 200 innings each, give or take…also think leake will be right there…that’s assuming, of course, all being healthy…as for the 5th spot, i really believe too many people are writing bailey off when…my opinion here…he can and should be getting off to a breakout season…i can see him very possibly making it to 200 innings, as his early stubborness toward so much of what it takes to become a real pro on the mound has become what i perceive to be a stubborness with himself, which is leading to learning and discipline and a solid presence…don’t sell this kid short just yet, folks…yes, he’s had a couple of injury things going on, but so far nothing to really be concerned with…and unlike volquez, he really seems to be getting the idea that he has to be into the whole game, understand that some days are going to be better than others, and see that his job is to do his job without being affected much by how the offense is doing or who didn’t make a play, whatever…i guess i’m just trying to go with my perceptions, but i think bailey has simply just grown up and it could bode very well for both him and the reds…as for the bullpen, and considering there will likely be about 40 innings or so of extra inning baseball, that would still leave about 500 innings…considering there will be a 6th and possibly 7th starter involved somewhere along the line, this could be reduced a bit…but there will also be the usual shuttling of relief help from louisville, etc…to me, the whole point of it all is to get to actual closing situations, something the reds didn’t do well last year, limiting cordero’s success…you’d like to see the reds able to get to at least 60 real closing opportunites for whoever is filling that role, meaning that you only have about 440 left to be pitched…still a lot, and it would necessitate augmenting the bullpen now and then with those AAAA guys, but if bray and marshall can take on 130 of them, with maybe ondrusek and arredondo picking up 120, that only leaves less than 200…figuring that no matter what you do, there will be games that get out of hand early and so on, or possibly see the reds get off to big leads where the starters might be given an extra inning simply because of the lead, well, all that isn’t too bad to cover…me, i’m with the guys who see the importance of good bullpen help, but i also believe that good bullpens are really, primarily, a product of consistent starts that go into the 7th inning most of the time…so, in the end, if our top five starters can give the reds just that, those reliever innings start going down…a lot of what happened to our bullpen last year was due to being called on often and early…
Not a bad summery
but in the future use paragraphs.
That would have been easier to read if the same words were broken down into 2 or 3 paragraphs.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Yossarian22: Red Reporter's Grammar and Style Police
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 25, 2011 2:04 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Last year...
Our bullpen threw just under 500 inn, with the starters avg. less than 6 ip per start. If our starters could average 1 more out per game, than our bullpen will be throwing about 445 inn or 64 innings a man. Seems reasonable…
by Larry Barkin on Dec 25, 2011 11:10 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
your comment was priceless, btw
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 24, 2011 10:15 PM EST up reply actions
Merry Christmas to all the RRer's
I’ve been coming to this site for about 3 years now, and I have to say it’s not the awesome analysis or in depth commentary that keeps me coming back. I think it’s the snarky people. When you come to RR, it’s like having season tickets and knowing all the people that sit in your section.
Merry Christmas!
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 24, 2011 12:02 PM EST reply actions 14 recs
re:
When you come to RR, it’s like having season tickets and knowing all the people that sit in your section.
That’s a pretty spot-on description.
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
by boobs on Dec 24, 2011 12:05 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
best idea for the tagline I've heard so far.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 24, 2011 12:08 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
better than the current
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 24, 2011 12:32 PM EST up reply actions
I don't think it's a joke
I think none of us like the current tagline
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 24, 2011 10:18 PM EST up reply actions
well, so there's 1 person..
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 25, 2011 7:44 AM EST up reply actions
2
But I really don’t care. Even for this place the amount of complaining on something so trivial is hard to understand.
Dude, I've watched people here argue for 30 comments when they agree with each other but disagree on how to say it
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Of course, I would NEVER stoop to such a level
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE, TAKE IT BACK!!!
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Red Reporter: it's all about the rhetorical semantics of your argument
my way to say the same thing is better than YOUR way to say the same thing!
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 9:57 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
No, that's cause of the mods!
/sickburn’d
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
He's Ronald "boobsinho" Torreyes.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 24, 2011 9:23 PM EST up reply actions
...curtains
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
by boobs on Dec 25, 2011 11:29 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
To my second, or third, family here at Red Reporter
Happy Jesus was a real person day! May you drink and be merry. Eat some great food, with great people, and talk about good times; and some bad for contextual reasons. I hope you get what you wanted, or installments of what you wanted if you are Jewish. You deserve it for being such a good person all year long, or not.
BUT REMEMBER. Whether you gave or received. Don’t let the things you own, own you. So I’m kinda paraphrasing Fight Club, But that movie was tits! It’s not about the terrible gifts you got, or didn’t get. It’s about taking a breath and discovering how awesome some things in your life really are. Like the 2012 roster! Or that sweet flip by Jerome Simpson! (or the kindle I got someone for Christmas… Shh!…)
Don’t go all Charlie Sheen.
crashtestnipplechip citymoron
by Excalib8 on Dec 25, 2011 12:55 AM EST reply actions 5 recs
I think Charlie Sheen is going all Denise Richards again
Life ain’t bad for Reds fans….
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 25, 2011 9:14 AM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
Somebody's stoned, and not in the good Middle Eastern way
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 25, 2011 11:49 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
"Didn't float."
Not a bad summery but in the future use paragraphs. - Elbow Patches
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 5:03 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
"Fight CLub...that movie was tits!"

Not a bad summery but in the future use paragraphs. - Elbow Patches
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 5:03 AM EST up reply actions
Todd Coffey, serious actor
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 28, 2011 3:59 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
I didn't see my mom or dad at all today and only saw my sister for an hour and a half.....winning or losing? You decide.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Welp, I did it
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 25, 2011 11:57 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
I have 35,000 comments on this site. If anyone needs me, I'll be celebrating....

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by going to a Travelodge?
or are you burning down a Travelodge? I can’t really tell..
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 9:58 AM EST up reply actions
Have you never seen the origin of that pic?
It’s glorious.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I have not
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 10:54 AM EST up reply actions
That was taken the night of the RR get together against the Brewers, our biggest RR outing to date I'm pretty sure (16? 18? 20 people?)
It was also the night of the peanut incident and the birth of the South Milwaukee meme.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
so someone got stabbed that night?
the peanut incident?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 11:56 AM EST up reply actions
Slyde got threatened after I hit some jackhole in the head/face with peanuts
“You do shit like that where I’m from, South Milwaukee, you get stabbed in the neck!”
Here’s the little ragamuffin who said it:

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
And here's why I threw peanuts at them

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
she looks dreamy
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 12:32 PM EST up reply actions
she looks like the kinda girl you pick up at closing time
and scares the shit out of you the next morning.
AKA a JCH special.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 26, 2011 12:34 PM EST up reply actions
i would ventured a guess that jch has pulled better tail than you
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 12:56 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I don't think we ever decided whether she was pregnant or was carrying a little extra weight in an odd way
We hoped it was odd weight, because she was hammered. When they ended up getting kicked out of the game, she yelled something like “We paid for our room!”, which was at the Travelode.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
ha, Travelode
classy rooms, those
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 1:15 PM EST up reply actions
Believe it or not, I have never been in that place
That should tell you how bad it is.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
standards!
jch haz them
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 1:21 PM EST up reply actions
FTFY
standards!
THE DISEASE-RIDDLED SKANKS jch BANGS ON THE WEEKENDS FOR SPORT AND LEISURE haz them
#HotelMotelHolidayInn’d
Not a bad summery but in the future use paragraphs. - Elbow Patches
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 5:06 AM EST up reply actions
people who actually live here don't usually get worked up about the difference
If you’re downtown Florence is the same as Blue Ash.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
This is still a vastly underrated picture, for the record
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 26, 2011 3:38 PM EST up reply actions
definitely one of my favorites, along with this one

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
also, I must have been in a weird mood when I named those pics
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
If I only meet up with the RR crew once
I’m so glad it was for this night, 7-1 loss be damned.
We're all mad. I'm mad. You're mad. Otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.
7-1 rain delay loss.
Though IIRC only a very few of us ‘real’ fans stayed for the bitter end.
There was drinking to be done and we all know how hard it is to serve two masters.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 26, 2011 5:47 PM EST up reply actions
Plenty of drinking done
though I unfortunately left most of it in the bathroom.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 26, 2011 5:54 PM EST up reply actions
'real' fans chase fellow RRs across state lines
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 26, 2011 8:11 PM EST up reply actions
Fuck this shit, I'm outta here
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
No one would cash my check.
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
by Madville on Dec 26, 2011 9:31 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I'd say it's "Heil Hitler"
but knowing Adam, it’s probably more like “Heil 6-3er”
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
who's that standing up?
someone put names to faces backs of heads
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
That would be the one and only obc, that pic was taken after Adam Rosales had doubled
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Incorrect
Thin Todd Coffey was the one who said it.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 26, 2011 5:51 PM EST up reply actions
he was an Arse
And wouldn’t pull up his pants…yeah, yeah, yeah the world knows you’re a Calvin guy. #DroopyDrawersFailHonk
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 26, 2011 7:27 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
The guy holding up the peace signs is the one who said it, right?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
No
It was the tall ginger dude who is sitting behind the ugly chick in that particular picture. I remember because after he said it – well, after I stopped laughing at what he said – I told him he looked like a skinny Todd Coffey. He didn’t think it was all that funny.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 27, 2011 8:34 AM EST up reply actions
hahaha, awesome
That was the guy who obc and I saw in the beer line, and he told us that him and his boy took out “like 20 of them fools” at a Braves game in Atlanta. He didn’t appreciate my laughing and telling him, “just stop dude, you and I both know that’s not true”.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
And didn't he push the one dude in the unrelated group behind us?
He came up behind him while descending the stairs and pushed him into the group of people he was talking to. Then he just kept right on walking and disappeared out onto the concourse. Those fellas had nothing to do with anything!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 27, 2011 8:50 AM EST up reply actions
that absolutely happened
i still like it that slyde looked like the one most likely to be starting trouble to them
The best part of this pic is that they posed for it, then refused to believe I was the one who hit them with peanuts later
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
of course he has to stop at the alley behind the Travelode first!

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 26, 2011 10:59 AM EST up reply actions
This picture makes me want to cry
These are young girls! The little girl on the far right is 12 years old — MAYBE.
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
the left and center don't look all that young
but then again who knows these days anymore, right?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 4:11 PM EST up reply actions
With no make-up and regular clothes, I'll bet they look young
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
I will take your word for it
my windowless van is in the shop
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 7:36 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
That made me laugh
and I’m not happy about that.
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
nah..
go with it
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 8:09 PM EST up reply actions
I have at least two rape jokes that would make you LOL.
And I detest rape recoilingly. But funny is funny.
I made my formerly-a-nun mother laugh at Christmas re-telling this one:
“Patience is virtue? Why can’t hurry the fuck up be a virtue?!?”
This is an example of one of those jokes where it simply is not as funny without the F bomb. Most joke are just as funny without going blue, but this one is really helped by the F bomb.
Not a bad summery but in the future use paragraphs. - Elbow Patches
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 5:11 AM EST up reply actions
.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 27, 2011 10:57 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I pick it up tomorrow
I’ll have it for OH. Also getting a PA installed so I can play music you’d hear from an ice cream truck.
Upgrade!
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 8:07 PM EST up reply actions
what about with no clothes and regular make-up?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I was just making a play on words, none of those chicks look like they'd be worth the risk of jail time one way or the other
*This cost benefit analysis brought to you by the letter S and the number 13
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 26, 2011 11:48 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
The "S" is for chlamydia!
Not a bad summery but in the future use paragraphs. - Elbow Patches
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 5:12 AM EST up reply actions
she's..
special..
and I’m convinced very proficient with frying pans
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 27, 2011 12:54 AM EST up reply actions
Annie's twelve years old, in two more shell be a whore
by 'tHan on Dec 26, 2011 3:06 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Nobody ever told her it's the wrong way
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 26, 2011 3:42 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
2 very underrated comments
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 26, 2011 4:11 PM EST up reply actions
That seems like something that should be rec'd!
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
Did you guys see where Buster Olney ranked the Reds in his top 10 rotations in baseball?
Hint: They’re not in the top 10…
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
reds need more arms and more bats
They have enough gloves.
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 26, 2011 8:46 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
stolen from elsewhere
1. Phillies
2. Rays
3. Angels
4. Giants
5. Diamondbacks
6. Rangers
7. Tigers
8. Nationals
9. Mariners
10a. Braves
10b. Dodgers
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
i would guess still the best in the NL Central, however.
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
sorry, someone already asked him that
He has the Reds as the No. 3 rotation in the Central. Behind Milw. and St. Louis.
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
Hmmm
The Brewers have Greinke/Marcum/Gallardo, so I can see that. The Cards though, I guess you have to assume Wainwright is going to come back strong.
The strength of the Reds rotation is all in potential (again). Latos, Cueto, Leake, Homer, and Chapman could all be 4+WAR guys next year. The top fellas in their rotations have all done it before.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 26, 2011 9:26 PM EST up reply actions
Agreed.
I’d kindamaybeprolly go with the Reds over the Cards but that’s about it.
I originally looked at that ‘Top Ten’ and thought that 6-10b were all comparable/interchangeable and that the Reds may as well have been in there somewhere but without Chapman as a known quantity I’m okay with the Reds (presumably) at 15-20 looking up and getting ready to climb.
[Insert “We shocked the world./Nobody gave us a chance.” postgame interview cliche here.]
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 26, 2011 9:54 PM EST up reply actions
"We kicked their ass!" - Chris Sabo, post-1990
Not a bad summery but in the future use paragraphs. - Elbow Patches
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 5:14 AM EST up reply actions
If you have a top 5 defense and a top 5 offense
What’s the best rotation you really need?
Obviously their are some assumptions(not completely crazy hopes and dreams) involved in the antecendent.
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 26, 2011 9:45 PM EST up reply actions
OK, Slyde Rule...break out the Stat-O-Matic 3000!
When WAS the last time a top-5 offense and top-5 defense missed the playoffs in the NL Central?
Oh, yeah: 2011.
Not a bad summery but in the future use paragraphs. - Elbow Patches
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 27, 2011 5:16 AM EST up reply actions
True
But I think Dave’s point is that 2011 team’s pitching was bad enough to negate the gains of the other two. They certainly won’t be that bad next year. I hope.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 27, 2011 8:37 AM EST up reply actions
Odd thought of the morning
Marshall is undoubtedly a great pickup, and is a lock down lefty out of the pen. While he’s good vs. righties, he’s bonkers vs lefties…and that got me thinking about our division’s lefties.
Who are they? Prince will be gone, and Carlos Pena will be too. Berkman and Beltran switch hit, so they’d be batting righty vs Marshall anyway.
Is David DeJesus really the best lefty Marshall will have to face in the NL central this year?
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 27, 2011 9:16 AM EST reply actions 2 recs
We must've traded for him purely to whip the Phillies in the playoffs!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 27, 2011 10:01 AM EST up reply actions
but...but...Travis Wood coulda done that.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 27, 2011 12:31 PM EST up reply actions
Here we go.
The sugarplums have danced away and we’re shaking off our holidaze and KMiB blasts us in the face with some truly insightful NL Central analysis.
Dude should be on Twitter or something.
Rec’d.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 27, 2011 10:17 AM EST up reply actions
I really think that's why Walt picked him up
I can’t imagine that Walt got him to be our lefty setup man
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 27, 2011 11:53 PM EST up reply actions
Do the Reds have the two best lefty hitters in the division?
Maybe they just wanted to make sure nobody else got Marshall.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 27, 2011 12:32 PM EST up reply actions
Damn
maybe Mat Gamel or Brett Wallace if you are a believer in them breaking out. Alex Presley and Jon Jay prolly don’t scare too many people.
Then again, we do face teams outside of the NL Central on occasion. But the other teams in the Central don’t have any good (purely) LH hitters. Like at all.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
I suppose there's still a chance that Prince stays in division...
But whoa… You make one hell of a point.
The Reds don't need Sean Marshall to beat teams in the Central.
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
nope
without Sean Marshall the Reds didn’t have anyone ready to be a closer, and that would have cost them the season!
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 28, 2011 12:21 PM EST up reply actions
the Reds don't need Sean Marshall beating them anymore
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 30, 2011 11:26 AM EST up reply actions





































