Red Reposter - Got them slow news day nothin' much to talk about Reposterin' blues
Determined to prove the slogan wrong
the Reds proved they have a bit of money and are talking to some people. They signed former Yankee farm hand and Moeller grad Andrew Brackman to a split contract, which basically means he'll make more money if he makes the big league team and a bit less money if he plays in Louisville.
I really like this move for the Reds. Brackman has had control issues and injury issues (likely related) in the past, but has been a prized prospect since being drafted in the first round in '07. He was ranked as the #78 prospect in all of baseball just last winter, so it's not like he's a total wash-up. This is basically a no-risk, high-reward move for the Reds, as Brackman has ace-reliever potential if he can stay healthy and hit the strike zone. If he can't, well, then no harm done. These are exactly the kind of moves that good teams make to build a bullpen. Right on, Walt.
andromache is dreaming of that illusive ace pitcher
and even augmented a popular song to channel those wishes. Here's my favorite bit, but you should definitely check out the whole thing:
Mr. Sandman, bring us an ace
Before our season becomes a disgrace
Whether from Texas, Havana, or Tokyo
If he’s got a decent groundball ratio
Blog Red Machine takes a look at the market of recently non-tendered players
and finds Luke Scott, Joe Saunders, and Paul Maholm at least interesting enough to discuss. Scott is an interesting guy (in more ways than one) in that he's an average LF defensively-speaking and a good bat. His career wOBA is a healthy .360. The Reds won't sign him though because 1) he hits lefty and 2) he'll likely get a contract north of $6 mil, or even a multi-year deal.
Joe Saunders? Yuck.
Paul Maholm is a decent lefty who gets ground balls and is stingy with the walks. He's a pitch-to-contact kinda guy who could benefit from having the Reds' infield defense behind him, but he too will likely get a contract similar to Scott. And just like Scott, he doesn't represent enough of an upgrade over the current stable of in-house players the Reds have to warrant spending that kind of money.
HardBallTalk has a nice breakdown of every team's non-tendered players
It's slim pickins, as you'd expect, but still a helpful list of players recently made available.
In case you missed it
the Phillies signed Dontrelle Willis to a one-year deal worth about $1 mil, plus incentives. He'll pitch out of the Philly bullpen, which is exactly what I wanted him to do for the Reds. There is no knowing whether or not the Reds offered Willis a similar opportunity, but dang. I think he could have been a pretty good pick up.
Redleg Nation questions the Reds' hypothetical interest in recently non-tendered infielder Ryan Theriot
He does present an all too familiar dilemma. The Reds need a back up SS for the upcoming season, there is no debating that. But with Zack Cozart penciled in as the starter, with all the questions and uncertainties he presents, any back up the Reds may sign is bound to be fairly close to Cozart in terms of value/ability/projection/and so on.
Now, I really like Cozart. He probably won't be an All-Star, but I'm pretty confident that he'll end up being an above average SS for the next few years. But he is coming off of major arm surgery and he only has a handful of Major League PAs, so if he struggles out of the gate, there may be strong temptation to replace him. And given Dusty's (warranted or unwarranted) reputation for deference to veterans, Theriot may be just the kind of player who could get 400 PAs next year. I get the sense that the organization is confident in Cozart and will give him every chance to succeed, but I'm worried a player like Theriot could change Dusty's mind real quick. I don't know. I don't think I'm being totally rational about this, but it still worries me.
Joey Votto (along with John Axford) won the Tip O'Neill Award this year
which is given out to the baseball player who best exemplifies the spirit of drunken Irish politicians (non-Kennedy division). Or something like that.
Hall o' Famer Hal wants his MVP ballot back
He voted Ryan Braun #1 and Matt Kemp #2. In light of Braun's supposed positive test for a banned substance, Hal wants to change his vote. I understand I'm of the minority opinion when it comes to this kind of thing, and for a variety of reasons, most of which aren't particularly germane to this piece.
But one that is applicable is the wretched sanctimony of guys like Hal. He even says that Braun is appealing and that he'll wait to see what happens. And even if he is suspended, the BBWAA can't do anything about it. But Hal still wants his ballot back. It's a matter of honor or pride or whatever nebulous idealism you want to call it. It's the same bullshit that is making Jeff Bagwell's Hall of Fame bid so contentious. There are plenty of players who did plenty of things (and as the Braun case illustrates, may still be doing plenty of things) that are worth our scrutiny. But this witch hunt to black ball anyone and everyone who you may suspect did something you might find disagreeable is just...well...it's just plain un-American. Innocent until proven guilty and all that.
Albert Pujols’ wife says Cardinals fans are being ‘deceived’
I only added this to the Reposter to say that I could not care any less about this than I already do. Smell ya later, Pujols.
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Comments
first
I think you’re a tad off on Hal and Braun. I just watched Mitch Williams on MLB say IF Braun is dirty they should revoke his award and give it to the 2nd place finisher. I was surprised to see an ex major league baseball player take such a hard stance.
Actions have consequences and I don’t feel terribly sorry for Mr. Braun if he knowingly took performance-enhancing drugs to maximize production. hey, play fair or play not at all
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 15, 2011 12:37 PM EST via iPhone app reply actions
on a side note
Does anyone have any doubt that Pete Rose would’ve definitely taken steroids to either lengthen his career or maximize his own personal production. I have no doubt at all
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 15, 2011 12:39 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
Of course I have doubt about that.
I can’t just assume stuff like that. He was a bettor. Who said he was a cheater?
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 15, 2011 1:30 PM EST up reply actions
well, he did say he was all over greenies.
And there is that Buck O’Neill line: “Only reason we didn’t do steroids is because they weren’t invented yet.”
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Don't tell Posnanski this, he will be devastated.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 15, 2011 1:32 PM EST up reply actions
I think Poz was the one who reported it
unless MLBTR scooped him.
I’m loving this meme, for no other reason than the fact that I have no idea what its appeal is.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 1:33 PM EST up reply actions
Charlie, we stand tall on behalf of traditional journalism
on this here weblog.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 15, 2011 1:34 PM EST up reply actions
/posts picture of rhino pooping.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 1:37 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 1:40 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
He looks like the guy that lives across the street from me
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
Except now he's in jch's crawl space
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 15, 2011 1:43 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
His wife left him and took there daughter
He doesn’t talk to me though, so screw him.
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
You screw him, he's your neighbor
Poor guy could probably use a good screwin’ if he looks like that and his wife left him.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 1:45 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I've tried being nice to him
He just ignores me and gives me odd looks…..kind of like everyone here!
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
You should come to burgers next week and meet e'erbody
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I'm actually going to be in shitty Dayton next week.
I take it the meet-up is in Cincy?
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 2:26 PM EST up reply actions
Which night?
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 2:29 PM EST up reply actions
That's what, the 21st?
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 2:30 PM EST up reply actions
Hmmm.... that might be possible
It’s what, an hour from Dayton to Cincy?
It would be an excellent opportunity to get away from my family.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 2:31 PM EST up reply actions
Actuall will be coming from Springfield, so longer
But still potentially doable.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 2:33 PM EST up reply actions
I'll be coming from Xenia.
Springfield’s another 25 minutes. Heck, you’ll have to come through Xenia, probably.
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
My mom wouldn't approve.
I might have to tell her I’m going to a strip club.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 2:35 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I can email you the speedo pic if she doesn't believe you
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
awww yeah

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 2:38 PM EST up reply actions
dang
I just assumed that it was going to be on a Tuesday like usual. I’m going to have to try to switch shifts.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
What is the name of the burger place?
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 2:38 PM EST up reply actions
neighbor's, on north bend rd
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Awesome! I will try to make it!
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 2:41 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah, I may make it up as well.
I believe ms. KMiB heads back to Philly that morning, so I just might have nothing to fucking do.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 2:43 PM EST up reply actions
I've gotta meet some of you jerks sooner or later!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 2:46 PM EST up reply actions
No, you don't
You really don’t.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 2:46 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Shouldn't you be elsewhere in the thread defending a child rapist?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 2:47 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
.

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 15, 2011 2:49 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
ha!
In grade school we had these annual skits done by community parents about inappropriate touching. There was a whole forest theme, where big bear touched little moose, who then told big moose.
Mama Schourek played big bear every year.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Small world, I played little moose every year
/AaaaaaawwwwwYeeeeaaaaahhhh
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
# of Red Reporters met: 4
- of times I’ve been kidnapped or killed: 0
/SSS
Is there a mod so powerful he can ban himself?
by andromache on Dec 15, 2011 2:52 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Well, Slyde kidnapped and killed me after the wiffleball game
But I got better.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 2:53 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I've met a number of RRs
Some are much nicer and more reasonable in person.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 2:55 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Can't wait to buck the hell out of that trend!
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 2:56 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Some are just like their RR persona
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
It's true.
Bubba Fan really does like Bubba.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 2:57 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Ha!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 2:56 PM EST up reply actions
Thanks man, I appreciate the kind words
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I really am a large black man.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 2:59 PM EST up reply actions
Or at least I used to be.
sigh
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 2:59 PM EST up reply actions
Don't be so hard on yourself.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:06 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
You Remember the days?
Sittin on the porch with your family, singing and dancing down in Mississippi?
jerk'd

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:17 PM EST up reply actions
The Internet:
A place were pushovers become hardasses.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I'm thinking I've met more RRs than almost anyone (20-30something)
and I’d say most are more reasonable in person.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 15, 2011 8:31 PM EST up reply actions
i've met approximately one million red reporters
by 'tHan on Dec 15, 2011 8:33 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
that's because you fuckers are less annoying in person!
by 'tHan on Dec 15, 2011 8:36 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
but you are an honorable beer wager payer offer
That always raises xFlip!
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 15, 2011 9:21 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
oh, then my xFlip must be through the damn roof
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 7:26 PM EST up reply actions
I might have to rec this 15 times
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
He is, but obcwok takes the cake on that distinction
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 15, 2011 8:37 PM EST up reply actions
I need to go to bed.
I thought this said that obcwok likes the taste of urinal cakes for their distinction.
the two statements are not mutually exclusive
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
why bother to hide him
it’s not like law and order svu would take his case
Jack McKeon on 2000 Reds "We have more MRI's than RBI's on this club."
Thanks, very interesting.
It is fun to think of someone drinking ten cups of coffee before the game for “an edge,” and then peeing themselves by the bottom of the 1st inning.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 15, 2011 1:37 PM EST up reply actions
I love that line
it is so much better than writers and ex ball players who feel that they are superior because they did not use steroids.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Whose to say Pete didn't take steroids?
Consider this:
1. Steroids first came into baseball at the tail end of Pete’s career, in the mid-80’s
2. Pete Rose, among other things, owned an interest in a Gold’s Gym at the time (aka “International House of Steroids”)
3. Pete consorted with and employed men who were convicted of dealing steroids (and had them living in his house, passing $$$$ back and forth, etc.)
I’m not saying he did, just that it is definitely a possibility. Of course, he has been self-righteous about the evils of steroid abusers, but that doesn’t really mean much, considering the source.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 2:00 PM EST up reply actions
Pud Galvin used animal testoterone in the 19th century
this stuff has been going on way longer than since the mid-80s
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
And there is evidence that Pete was corking his bat on his race to 4192.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 16, 2011 7:44 PM EST up reply actions
Mitch Williams took a hard stance because MLBN decided he was the guy who would take a hard stance
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 12:56 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
I didn't Hal was alone
I know he most certainly isn’t. But it’s his “guilty until proven innocent” mindset that really gets my dander up.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 1:15 PM EST up reply actions
what about Brauns stance he is innocent despite testing positive?
When was the last time a positive test was overturned?
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 15, 2011 1:19 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
I dunno
But he says he is innocent and he is entitled to an appeal. He deserves due process, in both the system and public discourse.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 1:21 PM EST up reply actions
sorry, now that I've composed myself.
The entire profession of “sports columnist” exists as apostasy to due process.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
This is true
but it doesn’t have to be.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 1:27 PM EST up reply actions
joe pos lost all credibility with the PSU shenanigans he pulled
by 'tHan on Dec 15, 2011 1:32 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
here's
the big takeaway:
A kind word for Joe Paterno in this storm is taken by many as a pro vote for a child molester. A quick, "Wait a minute, Joe Paterno is a good man. Let’s see what happened here" is translated as an attempt to minimize the horror of what Jerry Sandusky is charged with doing. It takes courage to stand behind someone you believe in when it’s this bad outside. It takes courage to stand up for a man in peril, even if he stood up for you.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Wait
This is supposed to be bad? I’m not following.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 1:36 PM EST up reply actions
I get what Poz is trying to say, and he's right
The problem is, that idea doesn’t apply to the Paterno/Sandusky situation because Paterno had direct knowledge of the accusations.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
[insert pablum about court of law the like that was discussed a month ago]
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
A great breakdown
here
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 15, 2011 1:39 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
Thanks Mads
How the hell do you guys manage to do that anyway?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 1:40 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
JCH, not NYC got my rec here!
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I'm crushed
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 15, 2011 6:50 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
this comment makes a lot less sense here
than it does down thread
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
But not completely non-sequitur-y, amazingly enough.
Is there a mod so powerful he can ban himself?
by andromache on Dec 15, 2011 2:03 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I was thinking it was part of the skit that I didn't remember.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Anyone can be made to look like shit by a good Fisking.
I’m really not in the mood to go down this rood, honestly.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
awww, fuck it.
It’s really slimy, from a writing perspective, to throw two Mark Madden quotes at the bottom of an article about Posnanski.
Posnanski was writing about Paterno and the University (including The Odious Graham Spanier), not Paterno and Sandusky. Those are two different relationships. The university couldn’t have handled the situation worse. I don’t think anyone could disagree with that. That’s literally all Paterno’s saying. Except he’s getting his words twisted to make a story.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Me and Scrabbles' reaction to that:

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 1:32 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
This
I lost all respect for him, and won’t read him anymore.
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
Because he was unwilling to pass judgement since he is saving it for his book?
(That’s not a snarky question, I just am curious what exactly motivated your decision).
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 15, 2011 1:35 PM EST up reply actions
He acted like JoePa was being wronged
No, the kids being raped that he didn’t do anything about were who were being wronged. He said many other things on that level.
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
I dunno, I think he's too close to the situation
I’m not going to read anything he’s says about it, but he’s still the best sportswriter out there so I’ll read everything not about it
I'm trying not to take this hard stance
but reading his recent posts, I can’t help but feel differently. It’s not that he didn’t jump on the condemn JoePa bandwagon, but the things he said at the PSU class, and then didn’t try to give an explanation for it seems off putting. He seems to have dug a hole for himself and is continuing to dig it deeper and deeper.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 15, 2011 1:38 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
He is a great writer, no doubt.
But I’ve always felt there was an occasional streak of sanctimoniousness in some of his work, and maybe this is where it came out a bit too much.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 15, 2011 1:41 PM EST up reply actions
Great writer/sanctimoniousness
generally interchangeable.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 15, 2011 3:03 PM EST up reply actions
to be fair
it’s hard to write a lot of opinions and not come off as sanctimonious from time to time.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
Oh, I agree.
I think it’s the nature of the beast.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 15, 2011 3:05 PM EST up reply actions
And now,
with blogs and comment sections it’s a two way street.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 15, 2011 3:12 PM EST up reply actions
I guess I'm following
I read ’tHan’s link up there, and I’m not sure what he said that was so scandalous. He’s saying we shouldn’t rush to judgment, everyone is entitled to due process, and all that. Or am I missing something?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 1:44 PM EST up reply actions
It was what he said to the Penn St. class w/Pat Forde
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
Maybe I just need you to spell it out for me
because I’m still not following. I thought I read that, and I didn’t really see anything controversial. At least, I don’t think i did.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 1:49 PM EST up reply actions
If I didn't have a 2:00 meeting I'd go find it
Someone hopefully will post it before I get back…help a brother out?
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
This adds to some of the above quotes
http://deadspin.com/5858278/joe-posnanski-becomes-an-unlikely-paterno-apologist
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
It was this, essentially
1. Joe Paterno is responsible for what happens on his watch. Period.
2. People are making assumptions about what Joe did or didn’t know, what Joe did or didn’t do, and I can’t tell you that those assumptions are wrong. But I can tell you that they are assumptions based on one side of the story.
3. We are in a top-you world where everyone is not only trying to report something faster but is also trying to report something ANGRIER. One guy wants Joe Paterno to resign, the next wants him to be fired, the next wants him to be fired this minute, the next wants him to be fired and arrested, the next wants him to be fired, arrested and jailed, on and on, until we’ve lost sight of who actually committed the crimes here.
4. I think the University could not possibly have handled this worse. It was disgusting and disgraceful, the method in which they fired Joe Paterno after 60 years of service, and yes, I do think Paterno was a scapegoat. Of course he was. I’ve already said that he had to be let go. But to let him dangle out there, take up all the headlines, face the bulk of the media pressure, absolutely, that’s the very definition of scapegoat. Three people were indicted and arrested. A fourth, I hear, will be indicted soon. Joe Paterno is not one of the four.
5. It is still unclear what Paterno did in this case. It will remain unclear for a while. You might be one of the hundreds and hundreds of people I’ve heard from who know EXACTLY what Paterno did. He HAD to know this. He DEFINITELY knew that. He COULD have done something. I respect that. Joe Paterno’s a public figure. You have every right to believe what you want to believe and be absolutely certain about it. But since we have not heard from Joe, not heard from former athletic director Tim Curley, not heard from GA/assistant coach Mike McQueary, not heard from anyone who was in the room, I’ll repeat: It’s unclear. A determined grand jury did not charge Joe Paterno with any crime. A motivated reporting barrage, so far, anyway, has not uncovered a single thing that can tell us definitively what Joe Paterno knew.
He makes a very good point on #4
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Yeah, I'm with Joe
JoePa is innocent until proven guilty, and moreover, so is Sandusky. Everyone rushed to judgement on this one, as is always the case in a kid diddler story.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 1:57 PM EST up reply actions
I think his quotes from the PSU class were worse, but were made without contemplation and while he was inside the PSU bubble.
I’m not sure I entirely agree with Joe even now, but the idea that I would completely cut off a writer that I enjoy because he partially defended a man who didn’t do enough to stop a child rape seems a little extreme to me.
Is there a mod so powerful he can ban himself?
My issue is that at first Poz said
“I’m going to let the facts come out before I report on this.” Shortly thereafter he spoke to the PSU class calling JoePa a scapegoat. Then he wrote his SI piece where he continued to defend JoePa.
It seems that Poz is way too close to this situation to write about it without getting his emotions involved, which is fine, and what he initially said. I think he should have done just that.
I wasn’t planning on reading the JoePa book anyway. I love Poz’s baseball writing and will continue to read his baseball stuff.
This is just another unfortunate layer to an already extremely unfortunate story.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 15, 2011 1:56 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
But we don't know any of that!
And I think that’s just his point. We don’t know that Sandusky did any of the nasty shit he is alleged to have done, and if he did, we don’t know how much Joe knew about it. We just don’t know enough about any of it to make any judgments yet.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 1:59 PM EST up reply actions
or Paterno, which is who we're discussing.
Who is a completely different human being altogether.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Of course everyone thinks he’s guilty
I sure as hell think he is.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 2:08 PM EST up reply actions
You are either misrepresenting or misinterpreting what I said
and I think it’s important enough to correct it.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 2:11 PM EST up reply actions
/every'Credsfightever'd
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 15, 2011 2:12 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
It's nice that you've finally owned up to doing that to people
/ducks
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 2:18 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
i am doing neither
you clarified in a later post.
probably because you realized what you said was ridiculous.
please be done now
Nope. It's back on. I get to have my say.
And nothing of what I said was ridiculous.
It’s true that we don’t know what happened. It’s also true that we all have already made up our minds about what happened. It seems pretty likely that Sandusky is a bad man. It also seems pretty likely JoePa either actively or passively helped cover it up. But at this point, we don’t know what happened. And until we do, the responsible thing is to withhold judgment.
It’s the same shit as the Braun/Hal thing in the OP. We are all so quick to judge alleged steroid users and child rapists, but they deserve their day in court just like anyone else. That is all I’m saying.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 2:20 PM EST up reply actions
Just to chime in...
Remember the Duke lacrosse case?
Maybe, maybe not.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 2:23 PM EST up reply actions
you're trying to argue both ways
but that’s not what you initially did.
how long are you going to keep going? i’ll just keep responding with a couple of sentences as long as you are going to write these diatribes.
How am I "trying to argue both ways"?
And what does that even mean? With what in my post there do you take issue?
I feel like you are either not understanding what I’m trying to say or deliberately misrepresenting it. I hope it’s the first, but either way I think it warrants elaboration. That’s all.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 2:31 PM EST up reply actions
you are saying
we don’t know if he’s guilty, so we should withhold judgment
but also saying
ah, who are we kidding? he’s guilty
No, I'm not
I’m saying we don’t know if he’s guilty or not yet. And the responsible thing to do is withhold judgment until he gets his day in court.
And I’m also saying that I think he is probably guilty. Those two things are not contradictory.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 2:38 PM EST up reply actions
Just because I think he is probably guilty
does not I’m judging him as such.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 2:41 PM EST up reply actions
I just wanna fit in with the cool kids posting gray boxes.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 2:08 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
GRANDMA????
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 2:10 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
This is getting stupid
I’m done with it.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 2:07 PM EST up reply actions
isn't it amazing how you feel that way when an argmument is this far to the side
half the time I have lost the passion for what I originally argued, and am merely arguing out of pride and spite, and then I realize I am arguing with somebody on the internet, and I lose my pride.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I think we know a few things pretty certainly.
Legally, we can’t say Sandusky did anything, but realistically I don’t think there’s anyone, including his lawyer, who believes he’s innocent.
I also think we know pretty certainly that JoePa knew about it. Beyond that is a little fuzzy, but that’s enough.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Soooooo....
Bras? Inseams?? COOKIES?!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 2:04 PM EST up reply actions
lets talk about this
sabermetrics for boobs thing some more…
VORP – value over replacement poontang
BABIP – batting average on boobs in play
anyone else?
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 15, 2011 2:05 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Not winnar!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 2:10 PM EST up reply actions
xFAP
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 2:07 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Winnar!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 2:10 PM EST up reply actions
My right (your left) testicle always hangs just a shade lower than the its counterpart, what about you?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
It's like earrings.
Means your gay.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 2:07 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Yeah, but that's because of the autism, not the nut imbalance
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Mine, too!
I tilt my hat to the right to compensate.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 2:28 PM EST up reply actions
why am I facing you, discussing testicles?
Oh…that’s why.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Dec 15, 2011 2:53 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Of course everyone thinks he's guilty
I sure as hell think he is. But I can’t say that with certainty. And until we can, we should put the torches away.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 2:05 PM EST up reply actions
Eh. A court finding him guilty doesn't suddenly validate anything.
It just allows us to send him to jail.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
I feel quite certain this will not go to trial.
by Eastwindquinn on Dec 15, 2011 2:18 PM EST up reply actions
It's clear the lawyers are setting him for a
“I did it, but it’s not my fault.”
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 2:29 PM EST up reply actions
But even after he is convicted, we still won't be able to say "with certainty"
I mean, plenty of innocent people have been sent to prison.
I don’t think the trial is going to make anyone any more sure than they are now.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 2:07 PM EST up reply actions
eh
an indictment is one side of the story. There’s always another, and then a sifting of where the truth lies. It’s not a pretty process, but it’s the best we got.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
But in this case, I don't really think the trial is going to make things much more certain
My point is that we are never going to be 100% certain about anything, including whether the sun is going to come up tomorrow. Waiting for 100% certainty means waiting forever.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 2:10 PM EST up reply actions
Don't you all see what's happening here!?!
WALT’S INABILITY TO MAKE TRANSACTIONS IS TEARING US APART. Left to our own devices, without baseball stuff to discuss, we get into recursive, self-destructive arguments about nothing at all.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 15, 2011 2:40 PM EST via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
You know that's not true, stop arguing both sides
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 2:41 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Ridin' dirty, right there
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 2:44 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
What the hell, man?
You…hat…e…g…o…d
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 15, 2011 2:50 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
According to Will Carroll, it's happened a few times
Here’s why I don’t like overturning an MVP: it’s awarded based on the player’s contributions to a contending team. Kemp was a little better by the numbers and played a harder position. Objectively, if this is the Most Outstanding Player award, he gets it.
Braun gets the MVP because Milwaukee won the division, and LA missed the playoffs. Which is fine with me. Braun’s performance – tainted or no – materially contributed to the Brewers’ success. He should keep the MVP unless MLB goes all NCAA and strips Milwaukee of its division crown.
Wait, Dontrelle signed with the Phillies?
Why didn’t anyone mention this until now?
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 15, 2011 12:49 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
MLBTradeRumors reported it a few days ago
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 1:16 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
One last shot across the bow for Dontrelle's twitter.
He‘s thanking all the Reds fans, posting the question WHO HAS THE BEST CHEESESTEAK IN PHILLY and has a twitter avatar that will break all y’all motherfuckers hearts:
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Dude's a balla
whether he can ball or not, he’s a balla.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 1:25 PM EST up reply actions
From women or school?
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
You'd love my crawl space
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 1:00 PM EST up reply actions 8 recs
so would jodie foster
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Jodie Foster raped me on a pinball mahcine...
…and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 16, 2011 7:52 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Not picking on you bc...
…but I think that we should all get away from complaining about not enough recs on a comment when said comment was posted less than an hour ago.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 16, 2011 7:53 PM EST up reply actions
*With purchase of crolfer of equal or greater value
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I'd rather have Jennifer Saunders than Joe Saunders.

by FordhamRam on Dec 15, 2011 1:03 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
i assumed this was a Madville comment at first.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
synonymous to Daedalus!
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 15, 2011 1:20 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions 1 recs
So Fangraphs says Nakajima may be a sign-and-trade
Yankees got him for 2.5 mil, and may be looking to shed him for, I dunno, whatever the Yankees ostensibly “need.”
He’s a decent shortstop/utility guy. Think the Reds could get him for Frazier/[pitcher]?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I'm just wondering which team it will be
that finally gives a shot to (and finds a position for) Frazier.
It looks obvious that it won’t be the Reds, and kinda bums me out.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 1:22 PM EST up reply actions
couldn't agree more, I really like the guy.
But it looks more and more like he’ll have to get PT someplace else.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Although, maybe not.
He is pretty unique trade insurance (if you will). If another team’s GM doesn’t want him, but does want Stubbs, Heisey, Francisco, or Alonso in a deal, none of them should be a hang up because the Toddfather could step in in each of their spots (except CF of course, bur he would allow Heisey to move over).
Thats got me thinking…think he can play C??
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 1:33 PM EST up reply actions
No. And just stop, jerkhead. Meso isn't getting traded.
But your larger point is a good one.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
I was refering to not needing Janish as 'emergency catcher' anymore jerkface!
An either ’raco’s grtting traded or our 2012 rotation will be Cueto, Leake, Arroyo, Saunders, Wood.
Sounds nasty!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 1:58 PM EST up reply actions
Two soft tossing lefties. Yossi just splooged.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 15, 2011 1:59 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Make it be Cueto, Leake, Arroyo, Wood, Saunders.
The CLAWS.
by crolfer on Dec 15, 2011 2:00 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
That rotation would be "de-clawed"
/rimshot
by DerekH91 on Dec 15, 2011 2:01 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
It was me.
I rec’d this.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 2:03 PM EST up reply actions
[In sotto BubbaFan voice]: Paul Janish is the emergency catcher
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I'm not sure he is any more
I think that might be Heisey’s job now.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Depends on the prison block.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 16, 2011 7:58 PM EST up reply actions
Nothing like some Sandusky talk to kill a thread.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
Favorite AL team?
I’m going to say Royals or Indians, myself.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
It's the Tigers, and the Royals and the Indians are the worst, and I hate you.
Is there a mod so powerful he can ban himself?
POOPFACE!
It looks like I’m going to Seattle this summer. I’m looking forward to lots of two-hour games. I may even convert.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Their stadium is sick!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 2:25 PM EST up reply actions
Maybe it just needs some Tylenol and a nice nap
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 2:25 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
No kidding.
We need to do something that will reaffirm our love for each other. So… #attacksomeoneday?
Is there a mod so powerful he can ban himself?
we attack you we get recs.
we attack jch we get pink speedos.
It’s an easy choice, really.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 2:32 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I was hoping to be called on to give an answer
Which would be, “That cocksucker ’creds”.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 2:35 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
thread, innocence.....whenever he's inserted, things die
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 2:19 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
well he clearly had good intentions
Jerry Sandusky lawyer says Sandusky may have only been trying to teach kids ‘how to put soap on their body’ in shower bit.ly/rYGi1N
— John Clark NBC10 (@johnclarknbc10) December 15, 2011
Plenty of 12 year-olds haven't learned that yet, right????
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
Just like Ted Kennedy was only trying to teach her how to tread water!
by DerekH91 on Dec 15, 2011 2:22 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
I really wish I could un-read this
I really did NOT need that mental picture.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 2:22 PM EST up reply actions
whoa.
Anybody else have this appear as a tweetbox, not just as text, upon refreshing the window?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Well aren't you just captain fancy britches!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 2:27 PM EST up reply actions
But what are you going to do about your screenname in 2014 mr. fancy pants?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
IT PUTS THE SOAP ON ITS SKIN, OR ELSE IT GETS "THE HOSE" AGAIN
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 2:28 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
God. Dammit.
I laughed at that.
I am now a worse person than I was 5 minutes ago.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 2:31 PM EST up reply actions
Are you busy this weekend? I need some soaping lessons
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
hhhhmmmmm
I’ll get back to you on that.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
/horseplay'd
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 17, 2011 11:16 AM EST up reply actions
In other news, the trailer for The Expendables 2 has been released.
What I never understood about the first one was this:
If they are “The Expendables”, how come they all survived (even the one who turned on the team and got killed for it came back to life in the end).
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 2:34 PM EST reply actions
Because they're all white and only black guys die in action flicks?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
whoops, no. Wait. That's horror movies. Disregard.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
That entire movie was expendable.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 2:36 PM EST up reply actions
But even Terry Crews survived!!!!
And he is pretty black, last time I checked.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 2:36 PM EST up reply actions
Yes, he is a pretty black.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:03 PM EST up reply actions
You mean Chuck Norris added them.
Is there a mod so powerful he can ban himself?
by andromache on Dec 15, 2011 2:37 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
speaking of action movies...
anyone ever see “Extreme Prejudice” with Powers Boothe and Nick Nolte?
Best line of the movie:
“You’ve got two men fighting for you, honey. The least you can do is show a titty!”
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
Holy Crap, "Extreme Prejudice!"
Been a long time since I’ve seen that one. One of those movies where you forget the title, and then you can’t remember if it was a real movie or not, because when you try to explain it to someone, all you can do is say,
“It had that one guy in it! And that other guy! And the one guy shot the other guy!”
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 2:42 PM EST up reply actions
it's totally awesomesauce
sadly not available on Netflix streaming
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
It appears to be available on Amazon Instant Video (which I have never used)
But $8.99? That don’t seem right, to stream a single 25-year old movie.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 2:49 PM EST up reply actions
I swear I saw a movie once
It was set in the future, and the only sex people had was via some virtual reality helmet thing. So some dude disappears for a while and no one can find him. They end up finding him, he had set the orgasm portion of the virtual sex machine thingy to loop, and he was a quivering, slobbering mess when they found him.
Can anyone name it?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
on 2nd thought, if it was a machine, not a helmet, its Woody Allen's Sleeper.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Yeah, I'm pretty sure there is a scene like that in Sleeper
Demolition man had the sex machine, but no bit where a dude orgasmed out on it.
I seem to remember a Jane Fonda movie that had an “orgazmitron” – I think it was Barbarella? Also had a character named Duran Duran, if I remember correctly.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 2:52 PM EST up reply actions
what a horrible scenario
do they still make the Dippin Dots, aka the ice cream of the future?
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
And they use seashells to wipe their asses.
They never explain how it works.
Also, the final line before Stallone kicks Snipes’ head off after freezing him with liquid nitrogen is “Head’s up!”
Dirt Bikes!
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Dec 15, 2011 3:03 PM EST up reply actions
A collection of YouTube clips from that movie is 1000 times more entertaining than the movie itself
But that is true of many Stallone movies.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 3:04 PM EST up reply actions
Speaking of which
If you watch only the Dance scenes from Step Up 3, it ends up being a delightful comedy.
The virtual sex would be with Sandra Bullock, not a bad thing
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Gross.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:16 PM EST up reply actions
pre Jesse James, etc. Sandra Bullock
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Still gross. Always gross.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:24 PM EST up reply actions
You're not watching her act, you're having sex with her
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
She's not topping any lists, but she well above replacement level
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Fire on the amazon, made the same year as Demolition Man
Google it. Then come back here and apologize.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
a 20 year old movie?
that’s not the real sandra bullock
are we allowing any time frame? if so, she’s still awful
Because my comment that started all of this referenced virtual sex with demolition man
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
how are her peripherals?
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 15, 2011 3:28 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
She makes my J soft
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:30 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
If its shaped like a J, you should consider seeing a doctor
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 15, 2011 4:35 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
No way
She’s a scab from ’95
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:29 PM EST up reply actions
Thank you for not being one of them.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:26 PM EST up reply actions
I've had sex with a lot of annoying women
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Then you paid them and they went away.
Bullock is definitely the whiny, clingy type.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:31 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I'll agree with that prediction
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
i've always really really hated jennifer aniston
but the adam sandler movie & horrible bosses have convinced me that she is not unattractive
Props where props are due
She’s aged phenomenally well.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 3:50 PM EST up reply actions
Indeed
Crazy as shit it seems, but looks great for being almost 43 years old.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
what a terrible thing to say about all of Red Reporter's mothers.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I think he's saying virtual vs. actual is the not bad thing.
Dirt Bikes!
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Dec 15, 2011 3:18 PM EST up reply actions
She's like... ugh.. Julia Roberts
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:25 PM EST up reply actions
I've always thought of them as the same actress just with different names
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
Question:
I made a folder hidden in Windows 7, but I cannot find it now. How do I make it visible again?
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
Search "porn" with "Show Hidden Folders" checked
There it is.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Dec 15, 2011 2:57 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
am I the only one who, on their last day on a work computer,
just wants to download all of the filthiest, worst, porn I can muster?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
A kid at my school got busted with over 30 GB of porn on his school computer.
I have no clue how, but he wasn’t expelled.
Mainly, only 30GB?
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
kids have their own computers at your school?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
They're the cheapest, crappiest, slowest laptops that Windows can possibly run on
And we still have to carry fucking textbooks.
And nothing on the internet works ’cause they have the same filtering system as the elementary schools.
inb4 “back in my day”
Go Colts Dammit!
Ours really aren't that bad.
Nothing fantastic, but it’s a pretty middle-of-the-line computer; perfectly good for schoolwork. And yeah, computers aren’t used as a textbook replacement, but it’s still awesome to have the majority of your work on one machine that you take with you to school and home.
do you use them in most of your classes on a daily bases?
like to write you notes on?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Yeah
There are some teachers who are kind of old-fashioned and don’t like us using computers a lot, but for the most part the teachers embrace let us use them for notes. They have tablets because that makes it easier to do notes for math classes. I can’t express how awesome it is to have the bulk of my notes in One Note and not worry about keeping track of seven or eight different notebooks.
i don't know
I think I would be old fashion if I taught a class. I think technology has its place, but I would prefer my students to write their notes by hand (I can’t spell for shit which gets 30X worse without the aid of spell check, and my hand writing is absolutely awful, so i think if i can understand my hand written notes anyone can).
I really don’t care if students text, you can send text messages and still pay attention, and you might even actually have a somewhat important message to send. But I have read some studies that say you are more likely to remember lectures if you write your notes by hand rather than type them. Also it is really easy to distract yourself with a laptop without really setting out to do so. You could be waiting for an email, and check it, then think well i mightaswell check facebook as well, and well i guess it wouldn’t hurt to check out good ole RR as well. And before you know it you are knee deep in an internet time suck and the class is over and you have no idea what it was about.
Also I think there is a greater interaction if your face isn’t buried in a laptop.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
you're young and technology has already passed you by
you should never look for a way to limit technology in your line of work. that’s just asking to be left behind in your industry.
technology does have it’s place and that place is everywhere. you should definitely be able to take notes on computers
i would probably allow it at first and see how it goes
or maybe even if i teach different sections of the same course I would allow one class to use a computer and not allow the other, and see if there is a noticeable difference.
I do know a number of professors I have talked to about it, feel that students are more likely to take an active role in a class without laptops.
Also this goes out the window completely in a giant lecture with hundreds of students.
Also unless some day i trick a community college to hire somebody with an M.A. and no teaching experience, or a rash of history teachers go on disability in the next 2 months, I will probably never teach a class, so this is all academic in the greatest sense.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
technology - yes.
computers – maybe.
The omnipresent Microsoft Office software severely narrows your ability to take notes/write/tabulate/use your brain. Students should let their brain develop and dictate how they solve problems. Not software.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
microsoft office makes it much easier to take notes & write
it doesn’t have much influence on math.
by 'tHan on Dec 15, 2011 8:06 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
i would never use it to take notes
because Word always thinks it has a better formatting idea than I do, so I would spend my entire time fucking dealing with the formatting.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
really?
what kind of issues do you have with formatting?
i use word to take notes in meetings pretty much every day
mostly indenting issues
word almost always has a better idea about indenting.
Also SBN just said I made a new comment…
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
writing in margins, numbering things within a paragraph, etc are really difficult
and Excel is what I meant for math. It makes quantifying anything more than multiplication tables pretty tricky. And God forbid you actually want to print it out.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
i guess it depends on note taking methods
i have no problems at all taking notes on a computer. It’s a lot easier for me to keep up because I can type quicker than I can write & my hands don’t cramp.
i don’t think excel would be a useful tool for math classes.
i would say you’d have to still use paper or a tablet for math. tablet technology at this point probably isn’t advanced enough for math.
I think it also depends on the notes
if i am simply writing down information from a fairly straight forward business brief, typing it probably works well.
If I am writing down information I am trying to learn and remember and it is somewhat nuanced I would rather write by hand.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
i get concepts and ideas pretty fast
but i suck at memorizing facts.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
i have a terrible memory
in undergrad tests stressed me out so much, because i had to spend god knows how much time memorizing stuff, and i was always freaked out I would forget it during the test.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
yeah, personal style and all that.
It also kills my eyes to be staring at a computer screen. For editing it also helps to be able to flip through pages, for me at least.
I’m just worried that kids won’t be able to develop a personal style if they’re being bred to use Word for the rest of their lives.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 10:54 PM EST up reply actions
will it effect teh ability to work and buy shit?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 15, 2011 10:59 PM EST up reply actions
i'm the opposite
i look at a computer screen 12+ hours a day without issue.
if I try to read 3 or 4 pages of an actual book, magazine or newspaper it’s an instant migraine
yeah, I'm the same way
that’s why I have 2 external monitors and my laptop monitor at work
ridiculous productivity
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 7:42 PM EST up reply actions
Trying to make a works cited page can be a bitch in Word.
Sort of irrelevant because you’re talking about note-taking, but I thought I’d throw that out there. Word just doesn’t ever want to indent the second line and not the first, so you have to hanging indent each line individually. When you’re writing a term paper with fifteen sources, that takes a little bit.
yeah, what 'creds said
wow we’re agreeing a lot lately, WTF
since Word 2007, making any kind of works cited, bibliography, etc is cake
MLA, APA, don’t matter how you wanna do it. Dat shitz pretty much plug n’ play
Fill out all the info you need based on the wizard for it, and it inserts it for you, none of that hanging ident nonsense of which you speak
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 7:44 PM EST up reply actions
i usually don't use it, but it may have been smart when i was writing papers with dozens of sources
Word does have a work cited feature, and I think it even has options for different styles.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
You're doing it wrong.
Highlight all the lines you want to indent and move the bottom tab thingy in the ruler .5 inches to the right.
Go Colts Dammit!
apparently someone doesn't know how to properly set a print area in Excel
and everything that you said about Word is very easy
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 7:41 PM EST up reply actions
Computer programs will do exactly what you ask them to 99% of the time
Most people’s issue with computer boils down to “Why are you doing what I told you to do instead of what I want you to do?”
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 16, 2011 9:52 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
yeah, one note is awesome
but you’re like one of 4 people I know who have actually ever name dropped it
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 7:45 PM EST up reply actions
you're kidding, right?
Word 2010 so easy to format anything
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 7:40 PM EST up reply actions
That's absolutely a problem.
People downloading games onto their computers and playing them in class is a problem as well. They try to fix that with a block on sites like Facebook and Twitter. Also, the theory that a lot of teachers have is that they don’t really give a shit if their students pay attention, and that it’s the student’s responsibility to pay attention.
In addition to that there’s a program called DyKnow which teachers can use to monitor students’ screens and also block features of the computer; for example, they can block you from going to your documents. That program allows teachers to block everything except One Note if they so wish, which pretty much forces you to either take notes or sit there and do nothing.
If I were a teacher I would never use the program DyKnow
I would consider that to be an invasion of privacy. Either I trust you guys enough to use laptops or i don’t.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
i've never taken an in class test (other than for computer classes) on a computer.
so the thought of this never crossed my mind.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
People learn in different ways.
Insisting people to take notes by hand instead of typing is a total and complete “get off my lawn” move.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 16, 2011 9:00 PM EST up reply actions
unless you know effective shorthand..
notes by hand is a waste of time
everyone should heed ’tHan’s advice and realize that if you can’t type faster than you write, you’re just doin’ it wrong
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 9:41 PM EST up reply actions
I can type a million types faster than I can write.
But I’m a visual learner with a hint of kinesthetic learner, and the physical act of taking notes in my own handwriting (and drawing all over the margins while I listen to a lecture) used to be a key study/memory tool for me. For me, taking notes by hand wasn’t a wast of time, but everyone learns differently.
Of course, laptops weren’t in widespread use the last time I was in school, so I’ve never tried to take notes on a coputer in a classroom setting before. Maybe I’d adapt.
by the finest muffins on Dec 16, 2011 11:01 PM EST up reply actions
you're right, everyone has different learning types
however I’ve found in any notes intensive lectures, sessions, what have you, I can capture so much more with typing or dictation software than I ever can with reed and papyrus..
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 12:08 AM EST up reply actions
I used to have to do crossword puzzles during lectures...
…to distract my mind enough that I could listen to the teacher without getting caught up in other distractions, like the people around me…or anything shiny.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 17, 2011 11:09 AM EST up reply actions
so's the reverse, though.
forcing people to type is laaaaame.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 17, 2011 11:34 AM EST up reply actions
don't they teach it in grade school now?
like 3rd grade?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 12:01 PM EST up reply actions
Actually no, at least not in the Oak Hills SD
That’s something that makes no sense to me. My fourth grader has had to turn in a few typed assignments, plus they work on laptops at school for some things and yet they don’t teach typing.
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
that makes no damn sense
don’t teach it, but have assignments in it..
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 1:13 PM EST up reply actions
West siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide
I lived in Cheviot for a while. (mostly) good folks over there.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I've lived in Cheviot, Covedale and now Bridgetown
That’s what happens when you marry a Westsider. They drag you over here.
There ARE a lot of good people over here — and a lot of people who would cut your throat for five bucks but, hey, it’s home to me now.
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
Yes, yes, yes.
Notes on a neatly organized program are the best thing ever.
But it really annoys the hell outta me when there’s free time and I wanna check RR or just a harmless blog and its blocked. If kids are gonna dick around on Facebook during class then it should be their fault and reflected in their grade.
Go Colts Dammit!
But allowing kids to flunk is just not something schools are willing to do
regardless of whether the kids actually deserve to flunk
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
The argument is silly anyway
Whether or not a school is willing to let students flunk, it doesn’t have to provide them every opportunity to do so.
Most people wouldn’t approve of multiple TVs showing E! and ESPN in every classroom. Allowing completely unfettered internet access is essentially the same thing.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
What I would probably do after greater thought
is tell college students that I personally think they will get more if they leave they laptops in their bags, but they are adults and are not legally required to be in my class so as long as they are not disruptive I will allow it. But I would also tell them that if class discussion tanks, I will not allow the use of laptops anymore.
I was a freshman in 2005, and I rarely remember laptops in class. It wasn’t really a part of our culture I guess.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
the entire comment disapeared, that is really weird.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
some profs have rules against laptops in class for us.
It depends. Taking a 9-5 weekend class, well no, you’re gonna have to allow your kids to have laptops, otherwise you’ll have lots of not-so-surreptitious phone checking. But for a 90 minute class, I have no problem with banning laptops.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
and the comment came back
and it isn’t doubled.
Originally the comment I made at 8:49 dispersed except the subject line, and it showed up as a double post, and it showed up as a “new comment”, that was highlighted and I z’d to.
Has anything like this happened to anyone else.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I don't think it is a terrible thing
although it would be more useful to give laptops to students in inner city schools, as they are more likely to have access to a home computer.
I know some Universities give laptops to their undergrads, Seton Hall does, I just didn’t realize high schools were doing that.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I understand where you're coming from there, but it's a lot more practical financially for a private school because all it takes is a network system to support the large amount of computers and a couple teachers to volunteer to administer the program.
They build the cost (times about ten) into tuition, so in essence the families pay for our laptops. With a public school that has no tuition, they’d actually have to buy the computers for every student. That would get extremely expensive.
Oh, I see
well i guess at a private school students (their families) are paying for pretty much everything anyway. Honestly if that is how it works I would rather be able to opt out of the laptop, buy my own computer and watch porn.
What high school boy with internet access isn’t watching tons and tons of porn anyway?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
You can't
It’s gone forever! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Control Panel > Folder Options.
Find the one that says “show hidden files and folders”
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 2:58 PM EST up reply actions
control panel > folder options > View tab > show hidden files and folders
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
How do I get my laptop to not be so slow that it won't load RR?
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
My solution was to have the cat chew through the power cord, and then wait for the battery to run out
It is not slow anymore. It is stopped.
I just wish Amazon would hurry the fuck up with delivering the new cable.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 3:06 PM EST up reply actions
close your windows/tabs/restart
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
My laptop was brought back from death
I should have left it there. There are many sites that won’t load, including all the SB Nation sites. Twitter is really slow on it too.
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
I don't have the patience to hassle with that kind of shit
I usually buy a new laptop every 2 or 3 years or so. You can get ’em for less than $400 or so.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 3:13 PM EST up reply actions
oooh look at mister moneypants
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:13 PM EST up reply actions
My millions are unconventional, bitches!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 3:18 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
If I ever become a rich person
I’m going to use this line for a dog whistle so RR will know my true identity.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
what if we already know it?
Dirt Bikes!
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Dec 15, 2011 3:21 PM EST up reply actions
you can't divulge until the dog whistle.
Says so in the fine print.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Hmm, virus?
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Not any that my software has detected
It is 4 years old. Everything I’ve tried hasn’t sped it up.
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
bring it to burgers
If I fix it, you buy my burger.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
and crippling emotional problems
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:20 PM EST up reply actions
nah, I pay for those visits myself
It helps my self-esteem.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Will you all still be there at 10?
That is as early as I can get there.
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
I dunno, but I would guess so
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Your best bet is to keep boot-up programs to a minimum
pretty much every piece of software you ever install defaults itself to load at startup, meaning the comp is trying to load like 80 programs at once when you first turn on the machine, and it just never ever catches up. My laptop used to take 45 minutes to get up to speed sometimes (I am not quite sure exactly what my wife had done to this day), but now within 5 or 6 it’s good to go usually.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
WinPatrol
is a good program for that. It’s free, and light on resources. It warns you if programs are added to startup, or changes are made in the registry, and blocks them if you tell it to.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Or, you could do it yourself
because your computer is old and has a small hard drive. And you don’t wanna slow the CPU down by running programs to speed up the CPU. And fill up your hard drive with stuff because a 54 KB download is like half your available space.
I still love my laptop even though it sucks…it makes me WORK for it’s love.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
WinPatrol
gives you the option of delaying the startup of some programs. So if you actually do want them all running, it will stagger the start times for you, so the computer boots faster.
It also does a lot of other things, like blocking drive-by downloads or any other programs that might try to install themselves without your knowledge. I use it instead of antivirus software (along with a firewall).
Here’s something for people who don’t want more software on board:
The basic program is free, and will clean up your system and optimize it. You can then remove it if you want. I don’t like most programs like this, because they end up removing programs I installed and use, but Advanced System Care is very good at targeting only actual malware. You can also tell it which things you want to clean up, and which you don’t.
It’s pretty fast, as these types of programs go, except if you want it to apply all Windows security updates for you. If you’re way behind, that might take awhile.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
but that advice is probably very useful for coop
thanks BF!
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
uninstall/reinstall flash for starters
What browser are you using?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Death to IE
I only use it to log into my work VPN, as nothing else works. Aside from that, I avoid it like the plague.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 3:33 PM EST up reply actions
agreed
As most people here know, I’m a huge Firefox w/AdBlockPlus guy.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Huge...HUGE I tell ya!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 3:40 PM EST up reply actions
Chrome is so much better than Firefox
and I used Firefox for years.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 3:42 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Wow, are you trying to set a record for number of times being wrong in one thread?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 3:44 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Wow, are you trying to set a record for...dumbing?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 3:48 PM EST up reply actions
blogflight!
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 15, 2011 3:59 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
As always, you seem smart until you open your mouth.
Chrome rocks!
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
The opposite holds true for many people I've met
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Chuck's got you on this one
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 15, 2011 8:43 PM EST up reply actions
do ChuckeCheeses even still exist?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
a quick google search says yes
i haven’t seen their commercials in years, but I don’t really watch much that would have their commercials either.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
holy fucking shit, how do parents afford birthday parties there
$441 for a party for 25 kids.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
they have jobs...
$441 for 25 kids is about average, and it avoids the dreaded gift bag expectation
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 16, 2011 6:58 AM EST via iPhone app up reply actions 1 recs
That's what I was thinking.
How many 10 year olds actually have 24 friends?
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Sounds like somebody's jealous
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 16, 2011 11:29 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Totally.
Last time I tried to go to Chuck E Cheese with 24 ten year olds I got in a lot of trouble.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 16, 2011 11:41 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 16, 2011 12:06 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
The fact that it cut off where it did is so awesome
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
it looks like this guy is driving it!

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 16, 2011 12:11 PM EST up reply actions
There are parties 100 times that expensive out here.
It’s freakish.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 16, 2011 9:42 PM EST up reply actions
wait, it's colerain isn't it?
coalrain would be a great name for a town in west virginia
by 'tHan on Dec 16, 2011 8:44 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Yeah but they don't serve beer
Cocksuckers.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
A flask gives any establishment a liquor license
if they did serve beer, that would be an interesting place for a sorority girl’s 21st birthday party.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Showbiz Pizza served beer (they might still serve it if you can find one)
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
oh man, Service Merchandise
And Swallen’s.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I remember both of those!
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 12:02 PM EST up reply actions
Don't mind if I do!
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 3:17 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Buy a Mac
/obligatory
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 15, 2011 4:37 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
LOL, seriously
They’re missing the last word of the title.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 10:55 PM EST up reply actions
Or they misspelled "graduates" as "graduated."
Either one, that’s a pretty big fail.
by the finest muffins on Dec 16, 2011 12:36 AM EST up reply actions
not a fail
if it’s an ad for Adobe.
Obviously ’shopped. You can see the pixelation around the apple.
That typo, OTOH…
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Viva la Vida came on my Pandora just now.
/thinks of Scott Rolen
/pours one out
/skips song.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 3:13 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
anyone seen Machete?
That flick needs a sequel!
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 15, 2011 3:14 PM EST via iPhone app reply actions
Goddamn right it does.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:14 PM EST up reply actions
I'd watch Danny Trejo carry a beautiful naked woman anywhere.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:14 PM EST up reply actions
I figure for the sequel, they can bring back Lindsay Lohan, just to see who looks more weathered, her or Trejo
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 3:16 PM EST up reply actions
who's the beautiful naked woman?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
god damn your soul to hell for putting that image in my head
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
This is accurate.
Sadly.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 15, 2011 8:44 PM EST up reply actions
There was plenty of eye candy
Rodriguez, Alba, the chick who played Lohan’s mom (Alicia Marek) – who, incidentally, is only 11 years older than Lohan.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 3:26 PM EST up reply actions
but all the technology should be updated.
It could be called Chainsaw.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Machete has definitely been the best thing to come out of Grindhouse
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 3:17 PM EST up reply actions
Might be the most fun movie I've watched all year.
Danny Trejo deserves some kind of award.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 15, 2011 8:44 PM EST up reply actions
So, back to baseball...
Is it crazy to think the Reds and Pads could match up on a trade for Latos? The Pads are in a rebuild mode, and don’t need Latos right now. The Reds could then offer them a buttload of prospects to help their rebuild. Would a package of Hamilton, Yaz, Yonder and one of Wood/Bailey/Volquez be enough (or at least a starting point)? This seems like something that makes a lot more sense than trying to match up with another team trying to win now.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
I don't think they have any motivation to trade Latos.
He’s young and cheap and under team control for a long time.
Might as well have someone for the fans to recognize.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:19 PM EST up reply actions
but Mr. Bowtie is saying that he may be available for the right price...
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
Well, I stand... not corrected... but something.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:21 PM EST up reply actions
Then again... isn't trading a young ace usually a retarded thing to do?
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:22 PM EST up reply actions
I guess it depends on the situation
Especially in that ballpark, they don’t need a de facto ace. The Harangutan can put solid numbers up there. So, you have to weigh the benefits of said young ace versus the benefits of 4 young cost controlled, premium prospects.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
Yes,
but he pitched in SD last year and put up decent numbers. That ballpark is a pitchers paradise, so guys like Bailey and Wood would look a lot better there than in GABP. I just used him as an example.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
Almost as retarded as still using the word retarded.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 17, 2011 11:18 AM EST up reply actions
He's by all counts a jerk, so it would stink to have to root for him.
That said, he’s a stud. I think a buffet of prospects could do it.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
It's just because he's a blond

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:27 PM EST up reply actions
I don't think he's the "face of the franchise" which helps.
Unk Weezy would know more, but I think that’s Chase Headley. Who, incindentally, I would also love to have.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
yeah, it's probably Headley
it was Adrian Gonzalez, then he got traded. Then it was Heath Bell, and he got let go. I don’t think they’re too worried about changing the face of the franchise. But yeah, at this point it’s probably Headley.
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
FWIW, Headley is likely to be traded too
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 15, 2011 4:41 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
yeah, I was kind of alluding to this in saying they aren't worried about trading the face
Headley pops up in trade rumors frequently
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
Who cares
lets get Carpenter.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I'd rather have this Carpenter.
Dude is hard to strike out.

A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 17, 2011 11:20 AM EST up reply actions
His third strike and we're out!
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 17, 2011 11:24 AM EST up reply actions
Honestly, I would at least give it some thought if I were the Pads
Hamilton, Grandal, and Yonder is a pretty good haul. Not sure how interested they would be in any of those pitchers, but the first three guys are a good starting point for almost any trade.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 3:23 PM EST up reply actions
Grandal, Hamilton, Corcino, and Yorman.
If they trade him it’s because they think thy’re more than a year away, so it would make sense that they’d want prospects that werent necessarily at the MLB level.
Doubt they’d want Alonso since they picked up Rizzo in the Gonzalez trade with Boston.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 3:23 PM EST up reply actions
good lord
This will ensure the reds will become the equivalent of the Astros after the votto window slams shut
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 15, 2011 3:42 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
Yeah
Because Alonso, Mesoraco, Frazier, Heisey, Francisco, Stubbs, Bruce, Cueto, Wood, Latos, etc are all going to be terrible.
Right?
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 3:44 PM EST up reply actions
Hanigan, Cozart, Stephenson...
Hank Rod, Vidal, Sappelt, Lotzkar, Torreyes…
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 3:45 PM EST up reply actions
He was in the first one!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 3:47 PM EST up reply actions
Cingrani, Lutz, other prospects not previously mentioned
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
You should've expected this response
When you included OBWOK’S boyfriend Yorman
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 15, 2011 4:44 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Michelangelo!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 5:08 PM EST up reply actions
I like the idea of the Padres trading Latos for pitching prosepcts who are older than Latos.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Jezebel'd

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:23 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
ARE YOU RETARDED? CHECK YES OR POTATO.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
The irritating thing about this kind of fawning coverage is that it makes you want to root against him
Tebow seems like a perfectly nice person, and it is always cool to see a player (or team) succeed in an unconventional way. But this shit is just getting out of hand.
Before he went crazy, Vince Young was doing very similar things, and no one was ready to anoint him as the greatest QB in the NFL.
I don’t want to see Tebow fail, but I would love to see Rick Reilly look like an idiot.
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 3:32 PM EST up reply actions
That's because VY was black in Tennessee and Tebow is white in CO
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
God wanted Tebow to play in Denver because Mile High is the closest football stadium to Heaven
/hangs self
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 15, 2011 3:46 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
aw dangit, you stole the noose I was hoping to use
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
how am I the first to rec this?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 7:55 PM EST up reply actions
and to protect us from the maw of hell aka Denver International Airport
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
but, free wifi!
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
by UncleWeez on Dec 15, 2011 3:52 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
WTF? Is that a painting of a Nazi killing a dove with a scimitar?
And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Dec 15, 2011 3:53 PM EST up reply actions
Didn't somoene post a link here to some nutjob who wrote a ton of letters to the builders as it was being constructed?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I guess I should do some work now.
I’m proud of this thread, aside from the little boy rape part.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 15, 2011 3:33 PM EST reply actions
Cuddyer's lifetime splits against lefties: .290/.378/.491
He’s going to be too expensive, probably 3 years (or more) and is bad at defense, but the Reds need a bat like that. Especially if Heisey’s splits continue to be so badly inverted.
Alonso is a lefty, but if he’s being traded, it’ll razor-thin out there. Phipps?
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 15, 2011 3:33 PM EST reply actions
On a per dollar basis over the next 3 years
I like Frazier over Cuddyer.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 3:36 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah, looking back at Frazier's accolades for the 40-man thing
made me rediscover why he was a deal.
This is probably moot given that the Reds might have less money than the $8M of payroll space I thought was a reasonable estimate, but it’s no fun thinking only about dollar-effiency on a win-now team.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 15, 2011 5:17 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah. The money thing.
So what are the Reds gonna do with their new shiny ace in a couple of years? Trade him for prospects?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Flag'd for dream shattering.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 5:56 PM EST up reply actions
why he was a "big deal"*
I mean. And I why he could be in a deal too I guess.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 15, 2011 5:21 PM EST up reply actions
Why the hell hasn't that been posted here before?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Darvish to the Reds!
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 15, 2011 4:00 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 4:02 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
where have I seen that guy before?
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 15, 2011 4:04 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Nope, you put me in the blue, uh, suit thingy
Everyone here knows my favorite color is red.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Two memes for the price of one
Phillies announce one-year deal with Dontrelle Willis.
— MLB Trade Rumors (@mlbtraderumors) December 15, 2011
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
heh. Jon Bois:
Did you know that Dontrelle Willis posted a 2.43 ERA through 191 innings last season? That isn’t true, but did you know it?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
new shoegaze post-punk band.
Their EP is pretty good, I’m not sure if you’ve heard it.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 3:59 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Fay must be getting depressed by this point
“THIS is the kind of news I get to report??”
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 15, 2011 4:05 PM EST up reply actions
he reported
that the Reds DIDN’T sign Willingham.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
And a fine report it was.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 15, 2011 5:58 PM EST up reply actions
He is Hawaiian
He was in the Yankees system last year. I guess they were underwhelmed by his 22.85 ERA.
His first go-around with the Yanks, he was part of the Swisher for Betemit trade.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
24 NRIs.
I think there’s an inverse relationship between “number of non-roster invitees” and “eventual quality of the team.”
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I was hoping the link was going to be a picture of the roster wearing Cosby sweaters
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 15, 2011 4:00 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
They've got Thompson, Maloney and Burton now if I'm not mistaken
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 15, 2011 5:20 PM EST up reply actions
Krivsky and Bowden put in a lot of effort and study time 8 years ago
there’s no reason why all that stuff they learned should go to waste. They were right then and they’ll prove it now for as long as it takes!
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
and the Reds have had Rolen, Edmonds, Springer, Isringhausen, and are soon to get Theriot.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
come on, you should embed this shit!
You are so December 14th!
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Who was it that was asking for a list of bands to like or not like
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
haha
I love that the Boredoms are on there. And the last one is great.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
it was me.
And good! I’ll now make sure to go out of my way to avoid the Spin Doctors!
I find it amazing that Cold War Kids are listed. They’re really religious, I always thought.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Spin Doctors, really?
Lindsay Lohan too
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
"We Strongly recommend that you burn the CDs"
Even if they don’t have a sense of irony, they have to be worried this will be misinterpreted.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 15, 2011 5:23 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Also, the site is called "Love God's Way"
which sounds like an inadvertent reference to the Psychedelic Furs. Almost certainly would fall under their “gay gateway” category.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 15, 2011 5:26 PM EST up reply actions
Also again
“In the era of internet mp3 piracy,” I guess you’re supposed to burn a CD, then burn it.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 15, 2011 5:27 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
"Internet mp3 piracy"
Whoever typed that with honest intentions needs to be punched in the dick.
Go Colts Dammit!
x

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 5:56 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
conversation at work
guy: I just heard that due the energy crisis santa claus isnt’ giving out coal this year, the bad kids will get nickelback cds
girl: OH MY God! who said that? i like nickelback!
by 'tHan on Dec 15, 2011 4:08 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Kill it with fire
I worked with a woman at Toyota that loved Nickelback and Lifehouse. She caught a lot of hell for that.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
no
but I’m a big Lifehouse fan thank you very much cock knocker….
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 7:58 PM EST up reply actions
You & Me was the first song we danced to at our wedding
and First Time was our song
.. fuck, I need a moment
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 9:42 PM EST up reply actions
I'm with you guys. Lifehouse is awesome.
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
if you don't know their awesomeness, then I'm not telling you
you have an iPhone, you go look them up
you’ll thank me later
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 7:03 PM EST up reply actions
You should start blaring some really bad music to make them go away
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
play some Lou reed
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 15, 2011 5:42 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
I see you hipster trollin'
They hatin’
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 15, 2011 5:43 PM EST up reply actions
This surprises me.... ok not at all
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 15, 2011 8:47 PM EST up reply actions
I was really hoping he would make fun of my avatar via HaterGalaga, but he never did
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I have yet to read a single comment on this thread
but since it has over 400 comments I am going to go ahead an assume there were several long inane conversations that at best are unrelated to baseball, and at worst totally and completely lacking in substance.
//Unfortunately the Cookies’d
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
How do you feel about having virtual sex with Sandra Bullock?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
How old would Yossi have been in '93?
I was 16 and fair game for Miss Bullock.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
winner
actually 1993 was the first year i was aware of.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
My high school graduation year.
I wasn’t too aware that year.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 15, 2011 5:39 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
it's been well established that babies should not have sex, even if it is with other babies
boobs disagrees
best virtual sex i ever had!
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
*

Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 15, 2011 5:40 PM EST up reply actions 7 recs
I mean i was away from my comptuer for liek an hour an a half
but now that I am down here, I have completely forgetten anything that whomever wrote the reposter actually wrote. I cannot tell you about one link right now.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Using my RR catchphrase from a dead thread and not even rec'ing it?
I see how it is.
Red Reporter: Unfortunately, the Yossi
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 15, 2011 8:49 PM EST up reply actions
i thought i did rec it
SBN has been really wonky.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Hmmm. From Hornberger
@DKnobler
More on A’s price for Gio: Hear they asked Reds for Alonso, plus 1 of top catching prospects, plus more
It feels so nice to be back to normal
That seems fair, I think
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
What's interesting is that the twitters seem to think it's a major overpay.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
I tweeted something earlier today, about how it's hard to tell whether a lot of tweets are earnest or snarky. The same could be said about RR.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
It has been tough day around here, huh?
I’m being sincere. I’d have to think think hard about Alonso/Grandal + more, but I think ultimately I would do it. I don’t think it’s a major overpay, but more of a “cost of doing business” kinda thing.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 6:54 PM EST up reply actions
This is why I wouldn't want to be in charge.
This is a tough trade to make.
But you have to pay something to get something.
Trading big time positions players for pitchers makes me nervous, as there is a real chance Gio, or any pitcher, could get hurt in spring training, and not be productive for the Reds.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
let me edit that
*big time position player prospects.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
I think it's an overpay, but that's the market right now.
If Walt can manage to get a good pitcher and hold on to one of the two, I’ll be thrilled. But I don’t think it’ll happen.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
exactly.
What is continually swept under the rug in this whole gig is that the Reds will have to find some LF production from somewhere if Alonso is traded.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 9:54 PM EST up reply actions
I think Heisey and company could hold it down decently
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect two WAR from Heisey next year. The offense did just fine the past two years without any production out of LF.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 9:59 PM EST up reply actions
Your third sentence is very true.
I tend to doubt the first two. Especially because after Heisey there really isn’t anyone I trust to contribute at all.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
True about the offense.
But I’m still worried about Stubbs, we’ll be starting a rookie Catcher and rookie SS, the 3B situation is still totally in flux, and BP ain’t posting another year like he did last year.
I really, REALLY want Alonso’s bat in this lineup next year.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 10:15 PM EST up reply actions
Post #666
Kevin Mitchell is the AntiChrist!
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
no, no, no, you've got it all wrong
the AntiChrist is Batman!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 10:20 PM EST up reply actions
Fray-zhuh?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 10:56 PM EST up reply actions
Maybe, but the offense is probably fine
I would love to get another hitter to go with Bruce and Votto. But in 2011 the Reds will get more production at 3B and SS and CF (I hope) than they did this year.
I think Phillips will probably fall off a bit, just because he had an insane career year last year. Meso may also initially downgrade the catching production, as he may have a break in period and you can’t expect any rookie to come in and replace a guy who put up close to .800 OPS’s in back to back seasons.
Also seeing Heisey play near everyday in left could also improve left field’s production compared to Gomes and Lewis last year.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 15, 2011 10:00 PM EST up reply actions
Want to know who would improve the fuck out of the LF offense?
Alonso.
Cozart’s a rookie, Meso’s a rookie, and I’m still not sold that 3B production will be vastly improved from last year (let’s be honest, Rolen’s going to play as long as he wants, and will END’s production be a vast improvement from what Cairo put up last year?)
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 10:17 PM EST up reply actions
I like this argument.
I’m starting to have doubts about the value of a trade if it costs Alonso. I’d very much like to see him playing for the Reds next year, at least until they give him a real chance in LF. I’m warming to the idea of Edwin Jackson, or of course a Gonzalez/Shields type if it could be done without Alonso. But there are so many damn question marks in the pitching, and that makes me hesitant to give up on some of those guys: Arroyo’s gotta have a bit of a bump, Wood was just weird last year, Volquez was too. Some good luck would be enough. Can we trade some scrubs for luck?
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 16, 2011 1:25 AM EST up reply actions
Exactly.
We haven’t really discussed it much, but what happens if the pitcher we trade for turns out to be injured or just kind of suck? It happens often in these big deals…Mulder, Johan, and Peavy come to mind.
When you factor in “worst case scenario” to the trade analysis, it steers me towards an overpay for a guy like Latos much more than Shields; if Latos needs TJ a year after the trade, you can non-tender him if you’d really like, but if Shields is a bust or hurt you’re on the hook for nearly $30 million.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 16, 2011 8:02 AM EST up reply actions
+1
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 15, 2011 6:57 PM EST up reply actions
but
I wonder what “plus more” is.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
the more is likely none 40 man guys
As the A’s are going younger their roster is getting crowded
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 15, 2011 6:58 PM EST up reply actions
Yep. Since both Grandal and Alonso are on the 40-man, I'd bet all the other guys would need to be younger.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
they do need offense
But I don’t think the Reds will give up END. He’s their third baseman of the future.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
If it's any pitcher not named Cueto, Leake, or Chapman, I'm cool with it.
This is what an “all-in” move looks like.
Ever since Rosenthal put that completely speculative post about Latos up, with no mention of the Reds,
I can’t get him out of my heart.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Yeah, I'd almost prefer him over Gio.
If that happens, I wouldn’t be shocked to see Yonder turn into a human doubles machine in Petco.
Oh, he's far, far preferable to Gio.
Both guys have 4 years of control, but one of Latos’ is pre-arb. So, cheaper.
He’s also just a better pitcher.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
How much of that is PetCo?
I want Shields over them all.
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 15, 2011 7:41 PM EST up reply actions
The Trop is just about as friendly for pitchers as Petco.
Latos is younger, strikes more out, is cheaper, and has an extra year of control. All other things being equal, he’s easily the best option we’ve discussed.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
latos sounds good
i would say let’s trade votto for him, but that’s probably not what the padres are looking for
votto arroyo rolen and janish
For matos and headley and their mgr
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 15, 2011 9:22 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
almost??
I’d take Latos 11 times out of 10, and I’d happily give up Grandal and Alonso and probably Hamilton too.
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
Latos's 9.21K/9 innings in 2010 would have happened regardless of his home ball park.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
He wasn't throwing against the same type competition as Shields
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 15, 2011 7:54 PM EST up reply actions
eh. How are you going to quantify that exactly?
And there are some crappy offenses in the AL too.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Also, Latos wouldn't have to pitch against the AL East for the Reds either.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
True I think just Shields is better right now
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 15, 2011 8:38 PM EST up reply actions
the dude who gave up an AL leading amount of ER and H in 2010?
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 9:52 PM EST up reply actions
...the worst year of his career
in which he was still a league-average starter.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 10:01 PM EST up reply actions
Ah, yes
That’ll teach me to jump into the middle of a conversation.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 10:10 PM EST up reply actions
I'd still like either of them
and considering that Latos is not being traded (I hate to break your heart. Again.), I think Shields is still tops on the list.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 10:14 PM EST up reply actions
next year:
Shields: 8 million
Latos: .5 million
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 10:18 PM EST up reply actions
so what I'm getting at is
that if you’re going to overpay via prospects, do it for the cheap one!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 10:18 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I can dig it, holmes
but I’m pretty confident that the Padres aren’t trading him.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 10:20 PM EST up reply actions
it is smart to dangle him out there
in case some team makes some crazy offer, if you can get somebody to give you the equivalent of Grandal, Alsonso, Frazier, Boxberger, and Wood, more power to you.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
by Yossarian22 on Dec 15, 2011 10:21 PM EST up reply actions
and that's more or less what Tampa's asking for Shields.
Look, the Pads and Rays have operated with similar budget constraints for several years, yet one team continues to whip ass while the other basically has sucked (in a worse division.)
Who would you rather trade with?
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 10:23 PM EST up reply actions
and, also
there’s a reason Freidman continues to direct any trade discussions away from Shields and towards Davis and Niemann: there’s a pretty solid chance the Rays are the preseason favorites to win the WS next year if they DON’T trade Shields.
Sure, they need a 1B, but what if they choose to keep Shields and sign Derrek Lee to a 1 year, $3 million deal instead?
They don’t have any incentive to trade him other than to admit that he had a career year and his trade value couldn’t be higher. While that puts you in somewhat of a position of power, it also throws up red flags to everyone else in MLB.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 10:30 PM EST up reply actions
motto of RR
“go for the young cheap one”
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 15, 2011 10:21 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
/jchinhis20's'd
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 10:23 PM EST up reply actions
How about comparing divisional payroll?
or HRs
or WAR
OPS
the Yankees and Red Sox are pretty good on offense.
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 15, 2011 8:37 PM EST up reply actions
the Giants won the world series.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 9:53 PM EST up reply actions
not with offense
Edgar Renteria – World Series MVP
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 15, 2011 10:19 PM EST up reply actions
Buster Posey
mid season call-up.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 10:23 PM EST up reply actions
Devin Mesoraco
2012 will be his first full season
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
buster olney
big market team fluffer
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 9:29 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah, Shields faces tougher competition and tougher environments
I really don’t think this can even be argued
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
Yeah, that's the kicker
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Maybe Wood
Wood is a flyball pitcher who is probably better suited for making half his starts in Oakland rather than Cincinnati.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
Yonder + Grandal + Wood is too much
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 7:00 PM EST up reply actions
I think you may be over valuing Wood.
He was excellent in the second half of 2010 but terrible in the first half of 2011.
He stuff is fine but nothing to write home about and his command is pretty pedestrian, especially considering his average fastball is 89.3 MPH.
Also remember that despite being just 24 years old, he has already had a major shoulder injury and lost a few miles on his fastball.
Wood could turn into a fine work horse of a starting pitcher, but he could also bust or get hurt again.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
and I realize my last statement about Wood turning into a work horse or busting can be said about any prospect
but it does not seem likely he will become an ace.
And yes Cliff Lee is a lefty with similar stuff who is an ace, but I don’t think 10 years ago the Indians would would have thought Cliff Lee would pitch like Cliff Lee. He did something pretty amazing, he had very average command prior to 2008. Since 2008 Cliff has not walked more 1.67/9IP in a season, and also he changed his style. Prior to and including 2007, Cliff Lee’s GB rate was always under 40%, since it has always been over 40%.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
must be the 'roids.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 9:55 PM EST up reply actions
Something is going to happen this week
I bet this is an intentional leak from the Reds side. This deal seem completely reasonable, if its Grandal.
If the Rays know that we are getting closer with someone else, then their demands on Shields will likely come down.
I think one of the reasons none of the SPs have been traded yet is because they all want our prospects the most out of the teams looking for SP.
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Dec 15, 2011 6:48 PM EST up reply actions
this is a very reasonable point of view
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Dec 15, 2011 7:28 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
but Melissa Stark is smokin' hot!
And when I was in college, a guy I knew was the younger brother of her roommate in college…and he said she was slutty at UVA!
That’s hot!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 9:56 PM EST up reply actions
A "Melissa Stark" GIS
brings up Erin Andrews, Lisa Guerrero, and a Melissa Stark realdoll. That’s gotta kill the ol’ self esteem.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 10:59 PM EST up reply actions
Erin has style...Melissa Stark well pretty but boring...Lisa is very shiny, does a passable Sarah Palin

Melissa<processed

Lisa<Shiny <Sarah Palin

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
by Madville on Dec 16, 2011 5:52 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
A carrot,
because the shepherd’s toe whistles a sad tune.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 16, 2011 9:13 AM EST up reply actions
I knew I could count on you, Mads
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 9:31 PM EST up reply actions
i just read a Yahoo comment
my ever man that new of this and put THE school,FOOTBALL TEAM ahead of these boys. go directly to HELL and be raped every hour on the hour,, WHILE BURING IN FIRE $$$$$$$$$$$ THE ROOT OF EVAIL $$$$$$$$what in the world have we become? when a school football scores are more important than out future ,, SAD SAD SAD ,, USA ,,
Someone say something smart, quick.
Go Colts Dammit!
If it weren't for my horse I wouldn't have spent that year in college.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

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