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Around SBN: The Most Dangerous Division in Sports

RR Reference Desk: Deluxe 40-man roster

And there's three of them now.

New from Red Reporter Reference Desk studios, an attempt to provide you with a Criterion Collection edition of the Reds' 40-man roster, including vital information on players that wasn't available in one place previously (pretty sure). And maybe a DVD commentary track or two to come.

Since the Reds have added quite a few new faces to the 40-man in just the last six months - Andrew Brackman may or may not be among them - it's time to get reacquainted. Among other things, you'll notice there's a surplus of infielders and a shortage of left-handed pitchers. After the jump is the roster and below are some facts about the roster. I can guarantee they're all fun, but they are mostly facts:

  • Longest-tenured player on 40-man (since MLB debut with Reds): Bronson Arroyo (Debuted April 5, 2006)
  • Longest-tenured player on 40-man (with the organization): Joey Votto (Signed June 5, 2002)
  • Shortest-tenured Red on 40-man: Yasmani Grandal (Signed August 16, 2010)
  • 2005 and 2007 are tied for the best-represented draft classes at 5 players each. 2007 was the most productive year of talent-harvesting for the Reds, in terms of raw numbers. Eight players acquired that year have made it to today's 40-man roster: Devin Mesoraco, Edinson Volquez, Todd Frazier, Zack Cozart, Neftali Soto, Henry Rodriguez, Kyle Lotzkar and Donald Lutz.
  • A staggering 7 Reds' first round picks are currently on the roster, representing the team's top choices from '04-'10 (Bailey, Bruce, Stubbs, Mesoraco, Alonso, Leake and Grandal). An additional two (Lotzkar and Frazier) were supplemental first-round ("sandwich") picks. Bill Bray, meanwhile, was a first round pick by the Nationals when they were still the Expos.
  • The Reds entire projected 2012 infield were 2nd round picks: Joey Votto, Brandon Phillips, Zack Cozart and Scott Rolen - by three different teams across a span of 15 years.
  • 31 of 39 are home-grown talent, having never left the Reds organization.
  • 13 of 39, an even 1/3, are internationally-born players: Aroldis Chapman (Cuba), Johnny Cueto (DR), Kyle Lotzkar (Canada), Edinson Volquez (DR), Jose Arredondo (DR), Miguel Cairo (Venezuela), Juan Francisco (DR), DiDi Gregorius (Netherlands), Henry Rodriguez (Venezuela), Neftali Soto (PR), Joey Votto (Canada), Yonder Alonso (Cuba), Dennis Phipps (DR)
  • There are 8 left-handed hitting position players: Yasmani Grandal (S), Juan Francisco, DiDi Gregorius, Donald Lutz, Henry Rodriguez (S), Joey Votto, Jay Bruce, Yonder Alonso,
  • But only 3 left-handed pitchers: Aroldis Chapman, Travis Wood, Bill Bray
  • Two switch hitters: Yasmani Grandal, Henry Rodriguez
  • 6 players have undergone Tommy John Surgery: Edinson Volquez, Jose Arredondo, Bill Bray, Paul Janish, Kyle Lotzkar and Zack Cozart. It's 7 when you count Nick Masset, who - if the internet can be trusted anymore - had TJ during high school in 2000.
  • Out of options: Jose Arredono, Bill Bray, Homer Bailey, Carlos Fisher, Juan Franciso, Nick Masset, Edinson Volquez

Star-divide

Starting Pitchers

Age (Srvc.)

B/T

Acquired?

Contract

Nickname(s)

Notes

Bronson Arroyo 35 (9.15) R/R Trade w/ BOS (3/20/06) '11-'13 Saturn Nuts, Badroyo/Goodroyo, The Nasty Hook 10-5 rights vest in early 2012; AS ('06), GG ('10)
Homer Bailey 26 (3.02) R/R 2004 7th pick overall by Reds in amateur draft Arb 1 in 2012 Old Hoss Out of options; Top 50 BA Prospect ('05-'08)
Aroldis Chapman 24 (1.03) L/L Defected, signed as amateur FA (1/11/10) Pre-arb (Projected arb after '13?) Cubandolero, Chapmania Top 50 BA Prospect ('10-'11), Largest bonus in Reds history, Native of Cuba
Johnny Cueto 26 (4.0) R/R Signed as amateur FA (3/16/04) '11-'14, '15 club option Kueto, Johnny Cuest Top 50 BA Prospect ('08), Native of DR
Mike Leake 24 (2.0) R/R 2009 8th pick overall by Reds in amateur draft Pre-arb (Projected arb after '12?) Top 100 BA Prospect ('10)
Kyle Lotzkar 22 (0) L/R 2007 53rd pick overall (suppl. 1st round) by Reds in amateur draft Pre-arb Lotzkar of the Hill People Best curveball in org (BA '10), TJ surgery in '09, Native of Canada
Pedro Villareal 24 (0) R/R 7th round pick by Reds 2008 amateur draft Pre-arb
Edinson Volquez 28 (4.06) R/R Trade w/ TEX (12/21/07) Arb 2 The Wagon, Voltron Out of options, TJ surgery (08/09), Top 100 BA Prospect ('06), Native of DR
Travis Wood 25 (1.04) R/L 2nd round pick by Reds in 2005 amateur draft Pre-arb MLB.com AA SP of Year ('09), Best changeup in org (BA '06 -'08,'10)

Relief Pitchers

Age (Srvc.)

B/T

Acquired?

Contract

Nickname(s)

Notes

Jose Arredondo 28 R/R Signed as FA (1/22/10) Arb 1 'Dondo, Arredon-d'oh Out of options, TJ surgery (12/09), Native of DR
Bill Bray 29 (4.02) L/L Trade w/ WAS (7/13/06) Arb 2 Out of options, TJ surgery (05/09), Best slider in Nats' org ('05), 1st round (#13) pick by Expos ('04)
Carlos Fisher 29 (1.138) R/R 11th round pick by Reds in 2005 amateur draft Pre-arb King Fisher Out of options
Sam LeCure 28 (1.072) R/R 4th round pick by Reds in 2005 Amateur draft Pre-arb #LeMania, Yosemite Sam, SamWow
Nick Masset 30 (4.146) R/R Trade w/ CHW (7/31/08) Arb 3 of 4 (Super Two) Masset Hound Out of options, TJ surgery during high school ('00)
Logan Ondrusek 27 (1.144) R/R 13th round pick by Reds in 2005 Amateur draft Pre-arb (projected arb after '12?) Lurch, Ondrusexy/
Ondrusucks

Catchers

Age (Srvc.)

B/T

Acquired?

Contract

Nickname(s)

Notes

Yasmani Grandal 23 (0) S/R 2010 13th pick overall by Reds in amateur draft Pre-arb Jazz Man, Yasmanian Devil BA Reds #4 Prospect ('12), Native of Cuba
Ryan Hanigan 31 (3.077) R/R Signed as amateur FA (8/23/02) '11-'13 RyHan, Ryan Air International League Mid- and Post-season AS ('08)
Devin Mesoraco 24 (.028) R/R 2007 15th pick overall by Reds in amateur draft Pre-arb Snacks, Golem, Meso-horny BA Reds #1 Prospect ('12), Top 100 BA Prospect ('11),

Infielders

Age (Srvc.)

B/T

Acquired?

Contract

Nickname(s)

Notes

Miguel Cairo 38 (13.110) R/R Signed as minor league FA (1/27/10) '11-'12 Old Giza Reds are Cairo's 9th major league org
Zack Cozart 26 (.084) R/R 2nd round pick by Reds in 2007 amateur draft Pre-arb The Coz BA Reds #5 Prospect ('12), BA AAA AS ('11), IL Mid- and Pos-season AS ('11), Best defensive infielder in org (BA '08-'09), TJ surgery (08/11)
Juan Francisco 25 (.156) L/R Signed as amateur FA (5/6/04) Pre-arb El Niño Destructor ("E.N.D.") Out of options, Right meniscus surgery (07/12), Reds Minor League Hitter of the Year ('08, '09)
Todd Frazier 26 (.071) R/R 2007 34th pick overall by Reds (suppl. first round) Pre-arb The Toddfather BA Top 50 Prospect ('10), BA Reds #1 Prospect ('10), BA Top 100 Prospect ('09), Southern League Mid- and Post-season AS ('09)
Didi Gregorius 22 (0) L/R Signed as amateur FA (2008) Pre-arb BA Reds #7 Prospect ('12), BA Best Defensive Infielder and Infield Arm ('12), Native of Netherlands
Paul Janish 29 (3.064) R/R 5th round pick by Reds in 2004 amateur draft Arb 1 Soft J BA Best Strike-zone Discipline in org ('08), TJ surgery (06/05)
Donald Lutz 23 (0) L/R Signed as amateur FA (7/15/07) Pre-arb Resident of Germany
Kris Negron 26 (0) R/R Trade w/ BOS (8/14/09) Pre-arb
Brandon Phillips 31 (7.022) R/R Trade w/ CLE (4/7/06) '08-'12 BP, DatDude AS ('10-'11), GG ('08, '10-'11), SS ('11), BP Top 50 Prospect ('02-'03)
Henry Rodriguez 22 (0) S/R Signed as amateur FA (3/27/07) Pre-arb H-Rod Ankle surgery (09/11), Native of Venezuela
Scott Rolen 37 (15.060) R/R Trade w/ TOR (7/31/09) '10-'12 Scotty Left shoulder surgery (08/11), ROY ('97), 7-time AS, 8-time GG
Neftali Soto 23 (0) R/R 3rd round pick by Reds in 2007 amateur draft Pre-arb BA Best Power Hitter in Reds org ('12), Native of PR
Chris Valaika 26 (.089) R/R 3rd round pick by in 2006 amateur draft Pre-arb Lake Monster Right knee ACL surgery (08/11)
Joey Votto 28 (4.027) L/R 2nd round pick in 2002 amateur draft '11-'13 Jo-EH, Vottomatic, The Say Eh Kid, MVP GG ('11), AS ('10-'11), MVP ('10), BA Top 50 Prospect ('07, '08),

Outfielders

Age (Srvc.)

B/T

Acquired?

Contract

Nickname(s)

Notes

Yonder Alonso 25 (.116) L/R 7th overall pick in 2008 amateur draft Pre-arb BA Reds #3 Prospect ('12), Best hitter for average, strike-zone discipline (BA '10-'12), BA Top 50 Prospect ('09-'10), BA Top 100 Prospect ('11)
Jay Bruce 25 (3.125) L/L 12th overall pick in 2005 amateur draft '11-'16 (Team option in '17) Bruce Almighty, HOVA, The Boss, Bruuuuuce AS ('11), BA #1 Prospect ('08), Top 50 ('07), Top 100 ('06)
Chris Heisey 27 (1.157) R/R 17th round pick in '06 amateur draft Pre-arb (Projected arb after '12?) Hi-Z, Hi-C Reds Minor League Player of the Year ('09)
Dennis Phipps 26 (0) R/R Signed as amateur FA (5/3/04) Pre-arb Native of DR
Dave Sappelt 25 (.053) R/R 9th round pick in 2008 amateur draft Pre-arb Sappelt's Show Southern League AS and MVP ('10) BA AA All Star ('10), Reds Minor League Hitter of the Year ('10)
Drew Stubbs 27 (2.047) R/R 8th pick overall in 2006 amateur draft Pre-arb (Projected arb after '12) Stubby, Light Tower Power (LTP), StubbHub First Red to steal 40 bases since '97 ('11), Led NL in SO ('11), BA Top 100 Prospect ('07-'08)


Comment 283 comments  |  10 recs  | 

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there definitely should be!

Then, as players come and go from the 40-man, we’ll have a real Red Reporter Wiki!

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 14, 2011 5:42 PM EST up reply actions  

I thought Bray was

“Birthing Hips.”

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 14, 2011 6:18 PM EST up reply actions  

i never got this one.

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

by Yossarian22 on Dec 14, 2011 10:41 PM EST up reply actions  

BOOM

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Dec 15, 2011 12:20 AM EST up reply actions  

meh

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 16, 2011 12:35 PM EST up reply actions  

Awesome stuff. Thank you.

And excited for all the fights to ensue over the “Nickname” category.

I didn’t realize Pedro Villareal is on the roster. I feel like his notes should say “Nothing interesting about this gentleman”

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 14, 2011 5:42 PM EST reply actions  

and while we're at it

I always think “Wally” when I see Phipps’ name.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 14, 2011 6:17 PM EST up reply actions  

I really want to start saying "They call me Mr. Phipps!" when he does something good,

but I don’t think enough people have seen In the Heat of the Night.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 14, 2011 8:26 PM EST up reply actions  

While watching a game on TV last summer, I said something about Drew

having a “hangdog expression” walking back to the dugout after striking out for the third time . My daughter overheard and started calling Stubbs “Hangdog.” So that’s what he’s known as around my house.

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 15, 2011 8:52 AM EST up reply actions  

Exactly.

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 15, 2011 8:56 AM EST up reply actions  

Also, my youngest daughter calls her Reds-themed Mr. Potato Head

Drew Spuds. Which is pretty darn cute.

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 15, 2011 8:58 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

That's adorable and fantastic.

Reds-themed puns in childhood? She’s doomed to end up here someday.

by the finest muffins on Dec 15, 2011 9:40 AM EST up reply actions  

Where my kid will undoubtedly offend her

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 9:47 AM EST up reply actions  

JCH jr.?

I’ll start warning my daughters now. :)

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 15, 2011 10:07 AM EST up reply actions  

It's already too late.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 10:10 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

your kids sound awesome!

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Dec 15, 2011 1:29 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

The nicknames for Lotzkar, Hanigan, and Mesoraco

had me laughing out loud. Never seen any of those.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 14, 2011 8:52 PM EST up reply actions  

Tommy John surgery

You left out Soft-J. He had TJ surgery when he was at Dayton. Missed almost the whole season.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 14, 2011 5:45 PM EST reply actions  

Well-spotted

Fix’d. I was surprise to learn Masset has TJ also. Almost 12 years a go

Mgr., Red Reporter

"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."

by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 14, 2011 5:48 PM EST up reply actions  

tHom and Chris bring it up from time to time.

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

by Yossarian22 on Dec 14, 2011 10:42 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't want Theriot,

Cozart could hit .419 in spring training and dusty would still start the wrong guy.
I think Janish could be great in the back up roll.

by Eastwindquinn on Dec 14, 2011 6:37 PM EST reply actions  

I agree.

Janish has “Manos de Oro” written all over him.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 14, 2011 6:39 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm a little worried about Theriot

but Dusty seems to have a lot of faith in Cozart, in a way he never did with Janish. I maintain that it was Dusty who forced Walt to call up Cozart. And once he was called up, he played.

Janish could be great in a backup role, but Walt won’t trust him there, because he’s afraid that Cozart will fail, and the backup SS will become the starter.

I think (barring something unexpected) that Janish will end up Louisville. Probably playing multiple positions. That way, Didi can keep playing SS, and Janish can get some experience at other positions. He’s a good SS, but not so good at 2B and 3B. Probably because he’s only played SS his whole career.

Janish has options, and that’s a valuable thing. Might as well use them. Next year, he’ll be out of options. If Cozart has proven himself, Janish can be the back up. If Cozart has crashed and burned, the Reds will probably part ways with Janish (and Cozart will be the new Janish).

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 14, 2011 6:55 PM EST up reply actions  

Didi's gonna be in AAA next year?

I think he’ll at least start in AA.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 14, 2011 8:28 PM EST up reply actions  

I dunno

A lot of people seem to be expecting him to be in Louisville next year. Maybe because the Bats don’t have any shortstops on their roster.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 14, 2011 8:33 PM EST up reply actions  

Negron?

Please?

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 14, 2011 8:35 PM EST up reply actions  

Negron is actually listed as a second baseman, not a SS

Probably for good reason, alas. Though he was the Bats’ SS most of the time when Cozart was called up/DL’d.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 14, 2011 8:38 PM EST up reply actions  

That might very well be an indication that they're expecting Janish to start at AAA this year

In anticipation of signing a veteran backup.

If Soft J was going to be the backup in the bigs, wouldn’t Negron be the presumed starter in AAA?

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Dec 15, 2011 12:27 AM EST up reply actions  

I don't think that's how it works

I do think they are expecting Janish to end up in Louisville, but I don’t think that has anything to do with how the players are listed on the roster. I think they are usually listed under their “natural” positions, which isn’t necessarily the position they are playing.

Though Joe Savery was listed as in infielder on the IronPigs roster. I think that was someone’s idea of a joke. He was used as a relief pitcher, never as an infielder. (Though he did DH occasionally in AA that year.)

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 15, 2011 6:21 AM EST up reply actions  

Negron, pleeeeease

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Dec 14, 2011 6:48 PM EST reply actions  

please what?

“Please kiss me, Kutie?”

I haven’t seen Didi or Billy in person yet, but based on the sample size I’ve seen thus far, the Reds’ shortstops lead the league in adorableness.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 14, 2011 7:49 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Agreed

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 14, 2011 8:13 PM EST up reply actions  

Didi "Gorgeous" Gregorius

Didi Gold Gloves. Didi Just Do That??

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 14, 2011 9:02 PM EST up reply actions  

I was gonna say that

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 14, 2011 9:26 PM EST up reply actions  

oh man, he's fuuuuuuunny lookin

Mesoraco still wins for funniest lookin dude on the team. Him or Porky Lopez.

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Dec 15, 2011 12:29 AM EST up reply actions  

so, I went looking for photos of young Billy

and found this one.

I thought, he’s not so bad looking. Then I thought, he looks like Dave Sappelt.

It is Dave Sappelt. Stupid Bleacher Report.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 15, 2011 6:29 AM EST up reply actions  

same'd

I thought, “He’s nice looking but I’ve never seen Billy Hamilton before and this guy looks really familiar….”

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 15, 2011 6:47 AM EST up reply actions  

a quick GIS

brings up, well, lots of people named Billy Hamilton. As well as young William as a football recruit:

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 10:05 AM EST up reply actions  

This post is so great. Impressive work.

I also want to submit SamWow for the Sam LeCure nickname column.

by the finest muffins on Dec 14, 2011 7:14 PM EST reply actions  

This is my favorite one

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Dec 14, 2011 7:21 PM EST up reply actions  

Yes

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Dec 14, 2011 8:10 PM EST up reply actions  

Am I not allowed to like a nickname I made up?

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Dec 14, 2011 9:02 PM EST up reply actions  

I had a Nigerian friend in college named Oluwaseun, who went by "O"

everytime he walked into a room, everyone would shout “O!!!!!!!!!!!!” which was pretty cool.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 10:06 AM EST up reply actions  

Oh

Well in that case, that was hilarious

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Dec 14, 2011 9:11 PM EST up reply actions  

I came here pimping my Yorman nickname

I can’t fault ya BK. And SamWow works for me, because in true RR fashion it makes me think of JWow’s boobs.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 14, 2011 9:13 PM EST up reply actions  

Be straight with us

EVERYTHING makes you think of JWoww’s boobs.

by OHSnap on Dec 14, 2011 11:18 PM EST up reply actions  

shouldn't he be Sammy Sweetheart?

y’know, if we’re goin Jersey Shore, we might as well be accurate about it

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Dec 15, 2011 12:34 AM EST up reply actions  

Tl;DR really puts the work into RR.

nycredsfan could learn a thing or two from him.

//attacknycredsfanwithlittlereason’d

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

by Yossarian22 on Dec 14, 2011 10:45 PM EST up reply actions  

little reason?

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 15, 2011 6:25 PM EST up reply actions  

You sir,

should be paid both money and muff for your fine work.

"Call me old fashioned, but I think fire is magic, and it scares me a lot."

by Lucky Pierre on Dec 14, 2011 7:20 PM EST reply actions  

Great work, TLDR

I can probably help out with the nicknames, since this comment section is about to turn into a huge debate regarding the subject:

Arroyo: The Nasty Hook
Bailey: Old Hoss
Chapman: The Cuban Missile (not my favorite nickname, but it’s going to stick)
Cueto: Kueto, Cuetaldinho (just made that up, that’s pretty good you guys)

Fisher: Kingfisher
LeCure: SamWow

Mesoraco: Snacks, MesoRAKEo (and I’ve never heard your nickname)

Cozart: Brozart
Gregorious: “Don’t call me Mariekson”
Phillips: Cancer, The Franchise
Votto: The Say Eh Kid
Sappelt: Sappelt’s Show (the other one is too sappy)
Stubbs: Young Robert Stubbs, Light Tower Power

More to come as I remember them

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Dec 14, 2011 7:20 PM EST reply actions  

THE CHAPMANTICORE!

Is there a mod so powerful he can ban himself?

by andromache on Dec 14, 2011 8:09 PM EST up reply actions  

The Manaman?

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Dec 14, 2011 8:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Are you (chap)man or are you muppet?

(or are you a Muppet of a (chap)man?)

Tanzen!

by Verka Serduchka on Dec 14, 2011 8:33 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Always reminds me of this

linky

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Dec 14, 2011 9:02 PM EST up reply actions  

I thought that was a pretty good one, but it didn't stick

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Dec 14, 2011 9:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Not a huge fan of Cuest for a nickname

Wolfgang is pretty alright though

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 14, 2011 9:03 PM EST up reply actions  

Eh, the Johnye Cuest and Jay Hova collabo is sure to be incredible next year

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Dec 14, 2011 9:07 PM EST up reply actions  

Wolfgang Amadeus Cozart must be a thing.

I insist on it.

It feels so nice to be back to normal

by nycredsfan on Dec 14, 2011 9:22 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

Forgot about that one, I really like that

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Dec 14, 2011 9:24 PM EST up reply actions  

too long

it’s going to be abbreviated to “WAC.”

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 14, 2011 9:29 PM EST up reply actions  

Or Wolfgang. Or Wolfie, like in the movie.

It feels so nice to be back to normal

by nycredsfan on Dec 14, 2011 9:32 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

No Wolfie, please

I know a sexual predator by that name

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Dec 14, 2011 9:50 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm not a sexual predator, I just play one on the internet

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 9:49 AM EST up reply actions  

but green'd nonetheless

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 9:49 AM EST up reply actions  

Chris Hansen'd

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 15, 2011 10:10 AM EST up reply actions  

Rock Me Zackadeus

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Dec 15, 2011 8:48 AM EST up reply actions  

This could be a promising theme

We could come up with a whole slew of spin-off nicknames, like “LaCoste”, “Cake-Eater”, “Trust Fund Baby”, “Richie Rich”, and so on.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 9:55 AM EST up reply actions  

Docksider

Charles Skeffington III

Judge Smails

Dirt Bikes!

by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Dec 15, 2011 10:58 AM EST up reply actions  

Enormous cellphone!

Is there a mod so powerful he can ban himself?

by andromache on Dec 15, 2011 11:28 AM EST up reply actions  

screw you.

"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK

by ZJiff30 on Dec 15, 2011 6:40 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

I have to defend my good name.

"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK

by ZJiff30 on Dec 16, 2011 10:38 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm a fan of Wolfgang Amadeus

darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.

by Hawkeye00 on Dec 16, 2011 12:02 PM EST up reply actions  

the Cozart one is brillant

that needs to become a thing

since I like it, it won’t

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 6:54 PM EST up reply actions  

I think Voley came up with it, but I could be wrong.

Either way, it has a broad base.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 17, 2011 11:35 AM EST up reply actions  

Love Nasty Hook

SamWow, Say Eh Kid, even Brozart. I wish Cuban Missile wouldn’t end up as Chapman’s nickname.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 14, 2011 8:57 PM EST up reply actions  

I prefer Saturn Nuts for Bronson

That one makes me giggle.

darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.

by Hawkeye00 on Dec 16, 2011 12:05 PM EST up reply actions  

Lurch is also

The Big O
and may I suggest … tldr

You're never as bad as you look when you lose. You're never as good as you look when you win.

by JasperRed on Dec 14, 2011 10:45 PM EST up reply actions  

These are good

Will update. I’m resistant to Cuban Missile also, because it was already Alexei Ramirez’s nickname and it seems like that’s what he “throws,” not what he “is.” But it’s got more claim to being his nickname than anything else.

Mgr., Red Reporter

"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."

by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 15, 2011 11:57 AM EST up reply actions  

forgot one about Bruce, or maybe more

seems like a lot of them goin’ on in here

The Deal
J Love, maybe Jay Love
Cincinnati Stunner

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 6:53 PM EST up reply actions  

I like Hard J (vs Janish's Soft J)

I think BubbaFan came up with that one or at least she’s the one I first saw use it.

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 17, 2011 9:47 AM EST up reply actions  

Jim Bowden thinks the Reds should trade Yonder and Yasmani

for Wade Davis and BJ Upton.

Does barf ruin or dissolve leather pants?

Fucking barf.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 14, 2011 8:53 PM EST reply actions  

I've got a couple nickname ideas:

Heisey: Heisman

Alonso: Scarface. You know, he leaves Cuba for the U.S., strikes it big here. We need someone to be the bad guy!

Respect my authoritah!

by BigBadBruce on Dec 14, 2011 8:53 PM EST reply actions  

"Do the Heisey on that ho"

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Dec 14, 2011 9:04 PM EST up reply actions  

Heisey is Ecto-Cooler

It feels so nice to be back to normal

by nycredsfan on Dec 14, 2011 9:25 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

this is true

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Dec 15, 2011 1:26 AM EST up reply actions  

Daaaaaaaaamn Gina

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Dec 15, 2011 12:43 AM EST up reply actions  

I thought Cairo was Old Giza

props to whoever invented that, it’s brilliant.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 14, 2011 8:58 PM EST reply actions  

And the Purple Rose.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 14, 2011 9:32 PM EST up reply actions  

The Sphinx

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Dec 15, 2011 12:43 AM EST up reply actions  

the Cairopractor

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 15, 2011 6:31 AM EST up reply actions   2 recs

BA's top Reds prospects by year

courtesy of TBC.

Check out 2006. Joey Votto is #9, behind such luminaries as Chris Denorfia, Miguel Perez, and Tyler Pelland.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 14, 2011 9:12 PM EST reply actions  

Huh.

Interesting how Travis Wood(s) was top 6 in both 06 and 07, but then took a 2 year hiatus before reappearing in 2009 in the top 10 again.

Maybe that’s just how he operates…a few good years followed by a shit one or two. Breakout in 2012?

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 14, 2011 9:23 PM EST up reply actions  

He also couldn't hit the broadside of a barn for a while, IIRC

That might’ve been injury related.

It feels so nice to be back to normal

by nycredsfan on Dec 14, 2011 9:27 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

yes

He spend several months on the DL in 2007.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 14, 2011 9:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Yet another player

With more value to us than he has to other teams. I still have hope he can become a #3 type.

It feels so nice to be back to normal

by nycredsfan on Dec 14, 2011 9:36 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

I'm still bullish on Wood.

I wish the Reds were, too.

No more sending him down mid season. Give him his season and see what he’s got.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 14, 2011 9:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Maloney'd

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 14, 2011 9:42 PM EST up reply actions  

sorta'd.

Wood was a 2nd round pick who’s been in the Reds top 10 prospects (when healthy) for 6 years, was the AA pitcher of the year, and damn near threw a perfect game vs. the Phillies in their offensive glory days.

That’s a lot more pedigree than “being traded mid-season for Kyle Lohse.”

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 14, 2011 9:47 PM EST up reply actions  

Agreed.

Jay Bruce and Travis Wood were the top two picks of the draft. I distinctly remember my friend saying that he’d trade Mark Prior for the two of ’em after their debut season. I told him Hell No.

The difference between the two years is fewer flies, more grounders and slightly more liners. It’s also a .260 BABIP in 2010 and a 330 BABIP in 2011. He’s a 24-year-old 2-3 win pitcher who’ll have a few good years as he gets older. I’m excited to see it.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 14, 2011 9:55 PM EST up reply actions  

Wood wasn't just dinked around last year

He got hit hard. XBH rate went up 50%. This sounds like such a fallback, but I feel like the league adjusted to him. I hope he can do his own adjusting.

SSS and all, of course.

by ken on Dec 15, 2011 11:08 AM EST up reply actions  

Like Chapman?

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 15, 2011 10:14 AM EST up reply actions  

I always forget that he is in play for the rotation this year

That could be a pleasant surprise. I guess the popular sentiment is that he’ll start in AAA, right? I just don’t see that happening though. I keep forgetting to get excited about that.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 15, 2011 10:23 AM EST up reply actions  

Even if he's a resounding success as a SP

there’s no way he throws more than 120 innings, so someone’s gonna have to be that “extra” 5th starter. Personally I hope its Wood.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 10:29 AM EST up reply actions  

this

he’s arguably our 3rd best SP after Cueto and Chapman

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 16, 2011 6:57 PM EST up reply actions  

Is this an attempt at trolling?

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 17, 2011 9:35 AM EST up reply actions  

Who else do we have after those two?

Arroyo? Bailey? Volquez? Leake? I think Leake has the best case out of those guys, but this exercise is example #1 why we need a good starter. Travis Wood has a decent argument as our #3. Or hell, even #2.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 17, 2011 10:17 AM EST up reply actions  

no, Mike Leake is better

Mike Leake has proven to be able to adjust to the league’s adjustments. Travis Wood has not. Mike Leake is a successful MLB pitcher, Travis Wood is not.

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

by Yossarian22 on Dec 17, 2011 11:32 AM EST up reply actions  

Mike Leake pitched well last year

Travis Wood did not.

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

by Yossarian22 on Dec 17, 2011 12:09 PM EST up reply actions  

so we're looking at 1 year?

selective end points are what the kids are doin’ in the streets, I see

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 12:10 PM EST up reply actions  

Compare Travis to Homer Bailey for their careers

compare his career to Mike Leake, or if this is about careers, you’d have to go ahead and give the edge to Arroyo.

The only argument Travis Wood has is on half of a good year, so why are you complaining about Yossi using a one-year sample?

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 17, 2011 12:12 PM EST up reply actions  

I take age into consideration as well

Arroyo’s old, and I expect him to continue to regress

Leake should continue to improve, as should Wood

Who knows what Bailey will do. He’s been the biggest wildcard on the staff for years.

The instability of the Reds pitching staff over the last few years has allowed some guys to have more MLB innings than maybe they should have..

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 12:15 PM EST up reply actions  

I agree with all this

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 17, 2011 12:17 PM EST up reply actions  

(clears throat)

They’re trending in opposite directions, sir.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 17, 2011 1:07 PM EST up reply actions  

blow me

Madville’d

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 3:40 PM EST up reply actions  

This is crazy talk

Cueto is obviously 1 and Leake is obviously 2. After that, then there are arguments. Right now I’d have to say Bailey 3. I don’t see how you can put Wood above any of these guys. I also don’t see how you can say anything at all about Chapman yet. Putting Wood above Arroyo is a stretch.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 17, 2011 12:09 PM EST up reply actions  

I respectfully disagree, as I am looking at projected rotation

Leake could be #3, that’s fine. Wood #4, don’t care. But I don’t really see a big difference in the 2 of them.

After their awful last year, Arroyo and Volquez are fighting it out for worst guy on the staff

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 12:13 PM EST up reply actions  

But you're comfortable saying Wood is better than Arroyo and Volquez?

I mean yeah there are arguments but it is far from a sure thing. And mainly, I have no idea at all where you are putting Chapman ahead of any of them.

FWIW, I think Wood has the potential to be as good as Leake, so I see where that argument comes from. But he hasn’t done it yet and I don’t honestly think he will.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 17, 2011 12:16 PM EST up reply actions  

I look at it kinda like this

if I can’t give the ball to Chapman, Cueto, or possible Leake, who’s gettin’ it?

I’m givin’ the ball to Wood, then reluctantly Volquez. Arroyo can go fuck himself.

I’m putting Chapman up with Cueto b/c of stuff, potential, etc..

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 12:20 PM EST up reply actions  

OK, this is completely understandable

though I don’t yet agree that Chapman should be included.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 17, 2011 12:21 PM EST up reply actions  

if want to believe all the "Chapman's gonna start" talk

so I want to see him get his first start no later than game 3 for the Reds

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 12:25 PM EST up reply actions  

why not leave him in teh oven a bit longer?

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

by Yossarian22 on Dec 17, 2011 12:28 PM EST up reply actions  

no it isn't

he cannot file for free agency until he has spent 6 full seasons in the big league.

Time in AAA does not count towards his clock.

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

by Yossarian22 on Dec 17, 2011 12:48 PM EST up reply actions  

I thought it was a 6-year deal?

I could be wrong about this, of course.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 17, 2011 9:48 PM EST up reply actions  

wikipedia says you are correct

6 years.

so the reds have only wasted a third of his contract at this point.

by 'tHan on Dec 18, 2011 1:04 AM EST up reply actions  

Nah

He only has a little over one year of major league service time, so the Reds have him for at least another five years.

But yeah, one year wasted.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 18, 2011 6:29 AM EST up reply actions  

right

it would be an arb year, not covered by the contract

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 18, 2011 1:42 PM EST up reply actions  

Yep

the only way Chapman can leave before he accumulates 6 years of service time is if the Reds choose to let him go.

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

by Yossarian22 on Dec 19, 2011 11:54 AM EST up reply actions  

is the oven the bullpen?

b/c if the oven is AAA, you’re out of your fucking mind either way

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 12:31 PM EST up reply actions  

not at all
  1. is up for grabs after those 2

In the argument, I’d include:
Wood
Leake
Bailey
Volquez (maybe)

I don’t care if you say Wood is 3 or Leake is 3, makes no difference to me. I’d then say Bailey is after them. Volquez, who the fuck knows about him.

Leave Arroyo out for the garbage man to pick him up on trash day

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 12:07 PM EST up reply actions  

How can you put Chapman in the top 2?

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 17, 2011 12:10 PM EST up reply actions  

Because if he is going by upside not current achievements

Chapman should be #1, if he is going by achievements Cueto and Leake should by 1 and 2, with no further discussion.

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

by Yossarian22 on Dec 17, 2011 12:13 PM EST up reply actions  

stuff, upside

being a lefty

ya know..

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 12:17 PM EST up reply actions  

Then the top of the rotation should be

Volquez, Chapman, Cueto, Bailey

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 17, 2011 12:19 PM EST up reply actions  

in a perfect world, yes

however, Volquez would never start for the Reds again if I had my way

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 17, 2011 12:23 PM EST up reply actions  

He did!

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 17, 2011 9:49 PM EST up reply actions  

it's true

I did say that at Noon 30 the day that Volquez left town

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 18, 2011 1:28 AM EST up reply actions  

Forget about Chapman

what about Mike Leake?

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

by Yossarian22 on Dec 17, 2011 9:35 AM EST up reply actions  

and 10th for 2005

Janny was also picked as the best defensive infielder several years (C-Dick was the best defensive outfielder), and best infield arm (Deno had the best outfield arm).

His rookie year, he was the first winner ever of the Dernell Stenson Award (MVP of the Florida Instructional League).

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 14, 2011 9:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Speaking of which

I know the old adage of “teams and their fans always overvalue their own prospects,” but let this list be a lesson to those opposed to emptying the coffers to obtain a big leaguer.

If acquiring an ace means sending a team 2 Top 100 prospects and filler, would it really have hurt to have given up Homer and Frazier for an ace 2 years ago?

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 14, 2011 9:38 PM EST up reply actions  

But Guys like Homer don't grow on trees

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Dec 14, 2011 9:53 PM EST up reply actions  

If this team had never started Bailey for a single game

would it really be any worse (or better) off than it has been?

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 14, 2011 9:59 PM EST up reply actions  

Ehhh, or Jay Bruce and Joey Votto 2 years before that.

These things are cyclical.

But meanwhile, that 2007 list…dang. 8 players on a division champion squad, one guy who retired, and only one flameout. How often does THAT happen?

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 14, 2011 9:58 PM EST up reply actions  

OTOH

1994 and 2003. Gross.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 14, 2011 10:03 PM EST up reply actions  

2003 was just the worst fucking year.

It was built up as “New ballpark new team championship!” and just literally everything went wrong.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 14, 2011 10:04 PM EST up reply actions  

It was indeed probably the low point of my Reds fandom

and Reds-hood in general. I agree.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 14, 2011 10:09 PM EST up reply actions  

2010 was pretty great though, huh?

god, that was such a fun season. i miss that.

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Dec 15, 2011 12:55 AM EST up reply actions  

I wish Janish was leaning a bit more to his right

Then I wouldn’t have to see Jim Edmonds.

darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.

by Hawkeye00 on Dec 16, 2011 12:07 PM EST up reply actions  

so

Teh Fay says Walt is after Joe Saunders. (MLBTR says the RedSox are after him, too.)

Maybe it was one of the lefty pitchers they were after in the Rule 5 draft. Cesar Cabral, maybe?

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 14, 2011 9:35 PM EST reply actions  

Yeah, I mistakenly said he'd be a decent signing.

Then I really looked at his numbers. No thanks.

It feels so nice to be back to normal

by nycredsfan on Dec 14, 2011 9:37 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

everyone rec this man

so that when it happens and he sucks, we’ll easily know where to look to find the proof RR was right.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 14, 2011 9:39 PM EST up reply actions  

And 'creds was wrong!

Holy shit – miracles do happen!

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Dec 14, 2011 9:54 PM EST up reply actions  

Green this comment

As proof that it does happen once in a blue moon!

It feels so nice to be back to normal

by nycredsfan on Dec 14, 2011 10:00 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

I'm hesitant to sign any more relievers

With Brackman on board, the roster will be full. Relief pitching is such a crap shoot anyway, I’d be willing to stay in-house for that (including the closer).

Get us a starting pitcher, Walt!

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 14, 2011 9:43 PM EST up reply actions  

Joe Saunders is a starter

It feels so nice to be back to normal

by nycredsfan on Dec 14, 2011 9:53 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

Get us a non-sucky starting pitcher, Walt!

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Dec 14, 2011 9:55 PM EST up reply actions  

he is?

Yeesh. I thought the Red Sox were looking at him as a LOOGY.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 14, 2011 10:05 PM EST up reply actions  

If I still posted here

Oh man, all the If the Brackman Turns My Way references you guys would be subjected to, you don’t even know.

I assume Kent Brackman is already a thing.

by Brendanukkah on Dec 15, 2011 8:35 AM EST up reply actions  

he is a poor man's Mark Buerhle, get it done Walt!

actually I had never heard of Joe Saunders before, and he looks like an averagish pitcher at age 30 who could turn to shit at anytime.

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

by Yossarian22 on Dec 14, 2011 10:51 PM EST up reply actions  

thanks.

That got out of hand quickly.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 10:09 AM EST up reply actions  

Arredondo nicknames:

’Dondo
or
Arredon-

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Dec 15, 2011 1:39 AM EST reply actions   2 recs

ArredonD'OH is a pretty good performance-based nickname

I forgot about Ondrusexy/Ondrusucks too

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Dec 15, 2011 7:42 AM EST up reply actions  

Ondrusexy for my shirt

So sexy it huuuurts!

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 8:26 AM EST up reply actions  

Long Reliever never caught on as I hoped it would.

:-(—-|————————<

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 15, 2011 10:10 AM EST up reply actions  

I never heard it!

or I would’ve given you a spot of encouragement on that one.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 15, 2011 6:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Arr-Inn DAWN-Doe

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 15, 2011 6:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Hmm.

I bet what’s taking Walt so long to pull the trigger is that he’s deciding which one of Varitek or Pudge to sign as the 2011 timeshare catcher since Mesoraco’s going to have to be traded for our ace!

Sorry ’credsy!

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 15, 2011 8:45 AM EST reply actions  

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