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Red Reposter - What up wit DatDude?

Brandon Phillips will not be appearing at RedsFest this year
If it were any other player, I would likely downplay this as insignificant. But with BP, who seems about as image conscious as any Cincinnati sports figure, it's probably a big deal. With Phillips and the Reds talking contract extension this winter, this could be read as a sign that he isn't terribly confident that a deal is near. It could be that BeeP is declining to show in anticipation that the fans, expecting him to be there, will show management their displeasure with his absence. He's probably hoping that the fans will use the occasion to pressure the Reds into getting the deal done, showing the team just how much he means to the city.

But that would be a gross miscalculation. Fans rarely ever side with the player in contract disputes. What the fans see is a millionaire complaining that he's not quite the magnitude of millionaire he thinks he should be, which is not a good thing for the player at all. Phillips may be justified in asking for more than what the Reds have offered him (we aren't privy to the exact numbers), but even so, the vast majority of fans will not see it that way. If he's shirking RedsFest hoping it will bring fans to his side, he's making a big mistake. But then again, he just tweeted a few days ago "Just talked to my agent @Baseball_ACES and it feels good to know that we're moving in the right direction to make me a #Red4Life #ALLREADY". So who knows. This is strange.

UPDATE: Word on the tweets is that Phillips will be attending RedsFest after all. So you can disregard all the armchair psycho-babble and unqualified moral grandstanding above.

The Fay ran into Yonder Alonso, who is in town for RedsFest
and noted that he is in noticeably better shape. Yonder says he has lost 18 pounds in the last few months, with the help of a personal chef and dedication to working out. You know, if he really can up his game in the outfield to an acceptable level, I will be very tempted to keep ahold of him and start him in LF every day. He's clearly one of the Reds' best trade chips right now in their search for a top line starter, but I have to think a deal could get done without him. There is plenty of talent on the farm. This is a very interesting development and one that could have huge repercussions on the Reds' off-season. Or maybe it's nothing at all.

Happy trails, Clutch Man Monie
Ramon Hernandez has agreed to a 2-year, $6.5 mil deal with the Rockies, ending his three year run as a Reds backstop. I gotta say, I'm a little surprised at the meagerness of this deal. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had signed for $10 mil, so this looks like a good get for the Rocks.

In a corresponding move, the Rockies sent their former starting catcher, Chris Iannetta, to the Angels. So it looks like Monie will be the #1 catcher for the Rockies this season. Having seen how limited playing time greatly benefited him these past few years, I'm not so sure that move is in the Rockies' best interest. Nevertheless, Red Reporter wholeheartedly wishes Ramon the best of luck in his new digs.

For more reactions from around the Reds blogosphere on Hernandez's departure
check out what Redleg Nation has to say. And here is C-ing Red's take.

Star-divide

Are you still confused about the new CBA?
JinAZ has a rundown of the highlights. Overall it looks like a net positive, but he explains how certain aspects, notably the new amateur draft taxation system, could have dramatically adverse affects.

"The amateur draft, even after the rise in singing bonuses we've seen the lats few years, is still a drop in the bucket compared to other expenses of a major league team. What this new adjustment fixes is that it reduces the degree to which the draft can be leveraged by small market teams as a means of procuring talent. Going over slot, offering major league contracts, etc, are all ways that small market teams can add extra talent in an economically advantageous manner. What this basically means is that, for the same amount spent in the draft last year, amateur players will get less money and poorer contracts next year. That means that more players will opt to go to college, or pursue another sport, because the incentives aren't as good for baseball as they once were. I see the main effect of this change a reduction in the talent coming into MLB. I really don't understand how that can be good for the game."

MLB.com has added a Kidz Newz section
with your new Youth Reporter, 14-year-old Reds fan Meggie Zahneis. Brandon Phillips and Sharon Robinson, Jackie's widow daughter, will be visiting Meggie at Lakota West High this afternoon. As an aside, this only further muddies the waters re: BP, RedsFest, and his connection to the fans and the town. There is just no pinning this guy down. Still, this is spectacular for Meggie, whom I can only assume is floating somewhere in the stratosphere above the tri-state area right now.

Christina Kahrl has a plan to address each NL Central team's problems this winter
Step I: eat a balanced breakfast. Step II: sort out the rotation. Step III: get a haircut. Step IV: address the back end of the bullpen. Step V: figure out what to do with all the young position players. Step VI: KING'S ISLAND!!

Sean Casey, Dan Driessen, and John Reilly will be inducted into the Reds Hall of Fame in June
Casey was The Mayor, Driessen was a secondary cog in the Big Red Machine, and Reilly was the best Reds hitter of the 1880s. All were first basemen.

John Erardi sat down for a Q&A with The Mayor
When asked about his greatest individual moment as a Red, he responded: "In '99, we were coming down the stretch, fighting for every game. I remember (the Pirates') Kris Benson throwing me a jammer in an 0-0 game in the eighth, and I hit a homer, and we won it here in Cincinnati, 1-0. (Aug. 19) It kept us right there (tied for first, .597 winning percentage for the Reds, to .593 for the Astros). Everybody in the crowd was on their feet. As I was rounding the bases, I was thinking, 'This is what it's all about right here.'"

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A deal must be imminent.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Dec 1, 2011 12:30 PM EST up reply actions  

BP must have read this post

Scrabbles has convinced him of the error of his ways!

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 1, 2011 12:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Good thing it was scrabbles and 'creds

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Dec 1, 2011 12:45 PM EST up reply actions  

I like that Meggie Zahneis already, she sounds like a great talent.

Speaking of breaking barriers, it’s really about time for some female leadership in baseball. I saw on MLBTradeRumors that Kim Ng is considered a strong candidate for a GM job. That would be a really great move.

by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 1, 2011 12:46 PM EST reply actions  

Ng interviewed for the Angels' GM position.

She had been a VP and an assistant GM (I think?) with the Dodgers for some years and was said to be in line to be the Dodgers’ GM but left them to go work for MLB when all things Dodgers got messy last year.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 1:42 PM EST up reply actions  

so apparently Phillips wants years not cash (but he probably still wants cash)

i would link the tweet but i can’t seem to figure out how to get to just an individual tweet on its own page so that it’s linkable. its one of the Fay’s latest tweets. The exact quote from Phillips regarding his contract is “I’ll leave that up to Walt and my agent… I want to be a Red for life. It’s all about the years, not the money.”

by vottomatic on Dec 1, 2011 1:21 PM EST reply actions  

block quotes so its a lil easier to read
I’ll leave that up to Walt and my agent… I want to be a Red for life. It’s all about the years, not the money.

by vottomatic on Dec 1, 2011 1:22 PM EST up reply actions  

he did say before

that he expected this to be his last contract.

Unless he’s planning to retire at age 33, I hope the Reds Just Say No.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 1, 2011 2:49 PM EST up reply actions  

Five simple things you can do when you're Brandon Phillips and your agent is hard at work in early December and you really have nothing else to do anyway:

1] Do nothing at first. Namely, do not commit to being at RedsFest.

2] Allow fans’ mild anxiety to build while they contemplate what life (at Reds Fest) will be like without you there.

3] Announce 24-48 hours later that you are going to be there.

4] Be there and be applauded a little bit louder for just being there.

5] Smile at Walt during said applause.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 1:34 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

6] Profit!

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Dec 1, 2011 1:38 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

So is this like a thing now?

You showing up? Because if you go and get me all excited about seeing you around here all the time and then drop off the planet again, I’mma be pissed.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 2:03 PM EST up reply actions  

Hey!

That’s a great idea! It’s about time for another meeting of the Columbus Crew.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 2:08 PM EST up reply actions  

It IS a great idea.

Unfortunately, it’s mostly a great idea because we all like to drink beer. Not because I am likely to be able to be there.

I won’t rule it out though. Plan away!

Note: December is hard on a man with three young children who take part in nearly every imaginable Christmas celebratory event of both the Christian and secular traditions. This shit is hard, man.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 2:46 PM EST up reply actions  

Ramon

If it’s $6.5M/2 yrs for the ‘10-11’ version of Hernandez, Colorado got quite the deal. If it’s $6.5M for the ’07-09 version, not so much.

Was there no other interest in him? I’m surprised he didn’t get more – like maybe $6.5M per, not total.

"You never know how you look through other people's eyes"

by sidnancy on Dec 1, 2011 1:54 PM EST reply actions  

Oh, and

Happy Birthday to George Foster. I always thought that of all the BMR players, he was the most underrated.

"You never know how you look through other people's eyes"

by sidnancy on Dec 1, 2011 1:58 PM EST up reply actions  

Or

BRM players. Either one.

"You never know how you look through other people's eyes"

by sidnancy on Dec 1, 2011 1:59 PM EST up reply actions  

amen to that.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 1, 2011 2:57 PM EST up reply actions  

how could someone that won NL MVP be underrated?

"At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day." Dusty Baker

by featherman on Dec 1, 2011 7:25 PM EST up reply actions  

that's racist

"At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day." Dusty Baker

by featherman on Dec 1, 2011 8:06 PM EST up reply actions  

Nah,

I’m sure Johnny swallowed Morgan’s paste.

Wear something sexy to my funeral.

by Pops Daniels on Dec 1, 2011 9:24 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

Ken's Brew

A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart

by PeteyHendrix on Dec 2, 2011 2:54 PM EST up reply actions  

At that price, we should have done a sign-and-trade.

A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart

by PeteyHendrix on Dec 2, 2011 5:23 PM EST up reply actions  

Joey and his girlfriend,

Jeanne Paulus, boarding a private flight to come to Reds Fest.

Apparently they have become vampires this off season. Votto does have a Vampire clause in his contract which lets him out of day games.

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 2:25 PM EST reply actions   2 recs

I think he has a,

“I just had a hottie riding my Johnson” look on his face.

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 2:30 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

that's actually me on the right.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 1, 2011 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

So...

How is he?

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 3:00 PM EST up reply actions  

He has that

“I make so much money I don’t have to fly commercial and make a connection to get to Cincinnati” look on his face.

"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone

by Yossarian22 on Dec 1, 2011 4:29 PM EST up reply actions  

Red ehs.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 2:48 PM EST up reply actions  

ack

Isn’t there an app for fixing redeye?

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 1, 2011 2:53 PM EST up reply actions  

There must have been an incident at the hotel

Why else would she be wearing the shower curtain?

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Dec 1, 2011 2:57 PM EST up reply actions  

aw, that's mean

I’m jealous she can dress like that. That must have been taken in Sarasota. You’d freeze your buns off wearing a sundress like that here.

Interesting that’s he’s posing with her. He’s been kind of protective of her in the past. I don’t think I’ve seen them photographed together before.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 1, 2011 3:00 PM EST up reply actions  

Here's another of them together.

This time, no wig:

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 3:14 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

ditto

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 4:20 PM EST up reply actions  

omg

Joey’s wearing flip-flops. I can see his naked toes!

His feet aren’t as hairy as I’d have expected.

Is she Canadian? I gather they’ve been together a long time – long enough for her to be a hometown honey. And her first name looks like it might be French.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 1, 2011 5:16 PM EST up reply actions  

She was a dental hygienest

from Florida when they met. I think that’s part of the reason he lives in Florida in the off season. They live in Mt. Adams during the season. I’m not a stalker, I swear.

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 6:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Close the deal on that sister!

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 1, 2011 9:51 PM EST up reply actions  

because joey is out fucking men?

"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone

by Yossarian22 on Dec 2, 2011 4:19 PM EST up reply actions  

Quit getting your hopes up, elbow patches. :)

A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart

by PeteyHendrix on Dec 2, 2011 5:26 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

I think we have identified a key difference between us.

A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart

by PeteyHendrix on Dec 3, 2011 1:14 PM EST up reply actions  

My student debt has left me so desperate i will sell my body to other men?

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

by Yossarian22 on Dec 3, 2011 2:16 PM EST up reply actions  

gotta do what you gotta do man

the ends justify the means

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 3, 2011 5:36 PM EST up reply actions  

the ends justifies the means is a personal mantra of mine.

Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.

by Yossarian22 on Dec 3, 2011 6:11 PM EST up reply actions  

mine as well!

we agree!

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 4, 2011 9:40 AM EST up reply actions  

rec'd

for calling Jsutin “elbow patches”

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Dec 3, 2011 3:04 PM EST up reply actions  

I think she better hold on for dear life

because he could do wayyyy better

Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"

by UncleWeez on Dec 1, 2011 8:47 PM EST up reply actions  

I have to agree

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Dec 1, 2011 9:49 PM EST up reply actions  

fantastic

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 2, 2011 11:09 AM EST up reply actions  

looks-wise

She’s quite stunning. The photos don’t do her justice.

She’s not a famous celebrity, but I don’t think Joey would like the attention that comes with dating a Jessica Simpson or Rihanna type.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 2, 2011 6:25 AM EST up reply actions  

I think she's beautiful

I believe they’ve been dating since Joey played in Sarasota in 2005. That’s a long time so I assume they love each other. That’s kind of harsh to say he could do way better! Maybe she is an awesome person with a fantastic personality in addition to her looks.

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 2, 2011 9:08 AM EST up reply actions  

"Maybe she is an awesome person with a fantastic personality in addition to her looks."

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Wait, are you serious?

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 2, 2011 11:10 AM EST up reply actions  

Yes, I'm serious!

If I knew her I think she and I would totally be BFFs

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 2, 2011 11:12 AM EST up reply actions  

I think women think this is possible.

"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK

by ZJiff30 on Dec 4, 2011 11:50 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm jealous she gets to sleep with Joey Votto

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 1, 2011 9:50 PM EST up reply actions  

"There Must Have Been an Incident at the Hotel"

#KanyeLyrics

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 3:05 PM EST up reply actions  

I look at this photo

and alls I can think is, “Damn, I gotta get in shape”.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 2:58 PM EST up reply actions  

Me too, bro.

Me too.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 1, 2011 3:00 PM EST up reply actions  

When the lights are off..

..we alllll look like her, man.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 3:03 PM EST up reply actions  

The taste is what gets ya IME

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 1, 2011 3:26 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

Just a little fashion tip, which Joey does very well.

Most men’s shirts are grossly oversized in the belt area and thus unflattering. He smartly chooses shirts that taper so they don’t have that blouse look when they are tucked in. I started wearing a size down in shirts or buying the extra slim shirts when I can, and my in-laws asked me if I had lost weight. So I guess that worked. Dudes are reluctant to share clothes tips, but this is good advice!

by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 1, 2011 6:20 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm usually the one critiquing haberdashery around these parts.

Stop stealing my bit.

Wear something sexy to my funeral.

by Pops Daniels on Dec 1, 2011 6:37 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Well

Obviously there are many reason why Joey’s fabulously attired…

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.

by Madville on Dec 2, 2011 12:29 AM EST up reply actions  

Obviously wasn't taken with an iPhone 4S

Which has advanced something something low light something and magic dust that does something to red eye.

That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!

by Ram27 on Dec 1, 2011 4:18 PM EST up reply actions  

Joey's girl even got him these

cupcakes:

She’s working hard for HER contract extension.

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 5:11 PM EST up reply actions  

Where are you getting these photos?

That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!

by Ram27 on Dec 1, 2011 5:23 PM EST up reply actions  

Fail!

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 6:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Joey's dog

in Mt. Adams.

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 6:17 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

what the fuck?

"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone

by Yossarian22 on Dec 1, 2011 6:22 PM EST up reply actions  

Too much.

You are quickly crossing the line between entertaining and odd.

by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 1, 2011 6:22 PM EST up reply actions  

It seems she enjoys taking pictures of a body of water with her legs in the foreground.

That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!

by Ram27 on Dec 1, 2011 6:56 PM EST up reply actions  

if I was around joey votto all of the time

I would also show the world my pictures of joey votto

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 1, 2011 7:47 PM EST up reply actions  

They sell that @ Costco,

it’s quite refreshing. It also comes in Orange.

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 6:04 PM EST up reply actions  

she looks delicious

since we’re going with the Vampire theme

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Dec 3, 2011 1:05 AM EST up reply actions  

Anyone have any tips on mice killing?

We have them in our house, and after killing 5 in the span of 2 days with old fashion spring traps, they seemingly have figured them out and are cleaning the peanut butter without setting off the traps.

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Dec 1, 2011 3:41 PM EST reply actions  

In other words...

This thread is pretty much dead so let’s just start posting lolcats.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 3:45 PM EST up reply actions  

Hammer. BB gun.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 1, 2011 3:46 PM EST up reply actions  

You're forgetting 'swiss cheese with dynamite in one of the holes.'

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 3:48 PM EST up reply actions  

Fuck that.

I want blood.

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Dec 1, 2011 4:37 PM EST up reply actions  

There's not a lot of blood in them.

They squish and crackle in a really unpleasant way.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 5:07 PM EST up reply actions  

au contraire

Just got home and one got a trap snapped on its head and crushed the little bugger’s skull. There was a decent amount of blood on the floor.

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Dec 1, 2011 10:15 PM EST up reply actions  

When I worked downtown, we had a locker room in the basement

the basement was known to have rats from time to time, so there were big industrial rat traps spread about down there. One day I go down to change clothes to find the biggest rat I have ever seen. It was the size of a small cat. It had got his head snapped in the trap, but he was big enough that it didn’t kill him. He dragged the trap a good five feet while bleeding from the head, so there was a trail of blood from the spot he got snapped until he finally died… Nasty.

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Dec 1, 2011 10:25 PM EST up reply actions  

Poison

It keeps them from coming back too. Unless they are city mice. If you live in the city, then nothing will kill those fuckers. You just leave them the remote and go to another room.

The season doesn't start until the Cincinnati Reds take the field! Reclaim The Opener!!

by TheC on Dec 1, 2011 5:16 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Poison is great...

…if you like the smell of dead rodent in your wall.

A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart

by PeteyHendrix on Dec 2, 2011 6:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Really ties the room together

Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!

by Ram27 on Dec 3, 2011 3:53 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

my office

Uses those sticky traps. They can be kinda gross, but if you want blood…

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 1, 2011 5:23 PM EST up reply actions  

Those things are foul.

I’d recommend an electric trap—quick and painless and easy disposal. You can find them on Amazon. The mouse goes in and that’s it.

by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 1, 2011 6:25 PM EST up reply actions  

i have a friend who shot a mouse with a hand gun

he did not get the deposit back on that apartment.

"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone

by Yossarian22 on Dec 1, 2011 6:30 PM EST up reply actions  

can I get an ID here, crolf?

Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"

by UncleWeez on Dec 2, 2011 1:23 PM EST up reply actions  

FTFY

Isopenus

A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart

by PeteyHendrix on Dec 3, 2011 1:13 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

here's a how-to video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0Dx7g4qcRw

"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville

by bbjones on Dec 1, 2011 7:34 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

This really should have 10+ recs, the man presents a very compelling argument

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 2, 2011 11:18 AM EST up reply actions  

Those work really well

And cats are awesome

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Dec 1, 2011 10:17 PM EST up reply actions  

them's my kitties!

Max (gray) and Walker (black).

They’re lazier than I am, but they’re brothers, so I blame the parents I adopted them from!

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:29 PM EST up reply actions  

what books ya reading?

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 1, 2011 10:32 PM EST up reply actions  

hmm, I think the ones on the desk might be Ms. KMiB's...

which would make it “Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight” and one I’m not sure of.

I just finished Charlie Papazian’s “Joy of Homebrewing,” and I’m whipping up an IPA batch this Saturday after the UK/UNC game!

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:37 PM EST up reply actions  

and I re-read 3 of Louis L'Amour's Hopalong Cassidy novels in Costa Rica

I’m a sucker for quick-read western novels…so sue me!

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Speaking of the UK/UNC game

Die, Cats, die.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 2, 2011 11:07 AM EST up reply actions  

Good lookin' fellas

Here’s a pic of the real Charlie Scrabbles during a grueling Reds’ losing streak:

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 10:42 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

you got another cat?

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 2, 2011 6:28 AM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, a few months ago

She’s not as cool as Charlie is, but he’s happy to have a friend.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 2, 2011 7:50 AM EST up reply actions  

is she an orange tabby, like Charlie?

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 2, 2011 10:07 AM EST up reply actions  

She has long white fur

with an orange spot on her head and an orange tail. Pretty much the exact opposite.

She’s nice and all, but we were kind of coerced into getting her. So it’s taking a while for me to warm up to her.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 2, 2011 10:25 AM EST up reply actions  

she sounds beautiful

But…coerced? What, did Charlie say, “Get me girlfriend, or I’m peeing on your bed”?

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 2, 2011 12:15 PM EST up reply actions  

She's a very pretty kitty

but I don’t care much for the long hair.

As for the coercion, my mother-in-law’s friend had to get rid of her and we were Jewish guilted into taking her in.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 2, 2011 12:24 PM EST up reply actions  

Would you say you like your kitties to have short hair, Chuck?

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 2, 2011 12:29 PM EST up reply actions  

I like shorthairs better, too

Much lower maintenance. For the cat and the owner.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 2, 2011 2:56 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm scairt to un-block this image

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 2, 2011 5:16 PM EST up reply actions  

it looks like lil' Scrabbles is watching Bruce on a cold streak

“Lay off the outside changeup, dammit!”

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:46 PM EST up reply actions  

Good Lord

I have the exact same carpet, laundry basket, and cat (well, her legs are white, but still).
That was weird to see.

That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!

by Ram27 on Dec 1, 2011 10:48 PM EST up reply actions  

He's adorable.

I’m bored and I want to play. Here’s my first pet ever, the inscrutable Kiymik:

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 1, 2011 11:02 PM EST up reply actions  

let's see your cat do this

skipper

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Dec 1, 2011 11:04 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

I've said it before,

I’d rather have a dog any day. But dang…he was a hell of a cat.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Dec 1, 2011 11:06 PM EST up reply actions  

Chuckles would fer seriously kick that dog's ass

Then he would do a radical jump on his bmx and slam dunk the dog’s flaming skull into a basketball hoop made of the dog’s bones that he built after kicking the dog’s ass but before doing the radical jump.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 11:08 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

Fer real seriously, though

That looks like a really cool dog. Like ten times cooler than that skateboard dog from Goofy Movie.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 11:12 PM EST up reply actions  

Whatever.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 11:12 PM EST up reply actions  

That's awesome! My puppy thinks you deserve a high five.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 2, 2011 11:26 AM EST up reply actions  

My cat does that thing with her tongue too

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 2, 2011 10:43 AM EST up reply actions  

I thought my cat was retarded

Until he started peeing in the toilet, without any sort of training. He just figured out how it worked and started doing it.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 2, 2011 11:08 AM EST up reply actions  

kitty savant!

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 2, 2011 11:15 AM EST up reply actions  

my friend's cat did that

The cat was using the toilet for over a year before he realized it. He had a roommate, and both he and his roommate assumed the other one was the slob who didn’t flush.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 2, 2011 12:16 PM EST up reply actions  

that looks like my mom's cat

"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone

by Yossarian22 on Dec 1, 2011 11:28 PM EST up reply actions  

If by awesome you mean evil, I agree 100%

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 2, 2011 11:21 AM EST up reply actions  

A soul can't be stolen.

It can only be bought and sold.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 2, 2011 11:50 AM EST up reply actions  

Cats steal because they are evil.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Dec 2, 2011 11:50 AM EST up reply actions  

that must be why I'm a soulless heathen

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 2, 2011 12:18 PM EST up reply actions  

If you step on them they will die.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Dec 2, 2011 8:26 AM EST up reply actions  

like goombas

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Dec 2, 2011 8:33 AM EST up reply actions  

Not only is Joey not going to stick around Cinti long

He’s not going to marry Jeanne Paulus and he sure at good point in his career to be traded for some prospects and a pitvccher.

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.

by Madville on Dec 1, 2011 4:23 PM EST reply actions  

I'm not one who's prone to hyperbole

So you know I’m serious when I say unequivocally that that is the greatest thing ever in the world. Ever.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 4:58 PM EST up reply actions  

Aunt Viv 1, Glenn 0

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 1, 2011 7:02 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Tee-hee, newfag.
Tee-hee, newfag.

That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!

by Ram27 on Dec 1, 2011 9:01 PM EST up reply actions  

That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!

by Ram27 on Dec 1, 2011 9:31 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Shouldn't be too hard, just have to make fun of creds

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Dec 1, 2011 10:15 PM EST up reply actions  

WELL IN THAT CASE!

I’mma rec Scrabbles’ above comment for niceyness!

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:16 PM EST up reply actions  

Thanks, KMiB

I think you’re the bomb, too!

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 10:19 PM EST up reply actions  

I'll rec it.

But hey Greenie, check out my man Mango’s big hit here in SBNation.

Twenty-five.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 10:44 PM EST up reply actions  

Yay I think!

On Friday, FOX Sports Ohio will be shooting footage of the event

That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!

by Ram27 on Dec 1, 2011 4:46 PM EST reply actions  

Sorry everyone

I had to delete the fantasy girl.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 4:47 PM EST reply actions  

So did CoCo, although her ass is slightly larger than the lettuce girl's

You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?

by boobs on Dec 1, 2011 4:55 PM EST up reply actions  

She may HAVE been wearing

a thong. Sometimes those things get lost in the folds.

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 4:57 PM EST up reply actions  

x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 1, 2011 7:01 PM EST up reply actions  

I know, I know

I did save the file to desktop though, and I hope you did the same.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 4:51 PM EST up reply actions  

x

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 5:00 PM EST up reply actions  

xxx

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 5:06 PM EST up reply actions  

Heh heh heh.

You used XXX as the subject.

by FordhamRam on Dec 1, 2011 5:09 PM EST up reply actions  

/Raven Riley'd

A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart

by PeteyHendrix on Dec 2, 2011 6:13 PM EST up reply actions  

awwww ... i miss all the fun around here

Individuality: Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.

by joshuar9476 on Dec 1, 2011 5:14 PM EST up reply actions  

from Old Time Familly Baseball

On the CBA

I’ve made no secret of my distaste for the new Major League collective bargaining agreement as it essentially punishes small market teams for scouting amateur talent; depresses baseball on the international market by severely curbing bonuses; and rewards clubs with the financial ability to sign aging free agents, but beyond all that, we still don’t have all the details

It links to BA’s post on the CBA.

It sounds pretty complicated. One of you RR lawyers should get into this. You’ll get fabulously rich and can invite the rest of us to watch the WS from your luxury suite!

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 1, 2011 6:04 PM EST reply actions  

Noontime thread starts off with fans shrugging off BP's will-he-or-won't-he-be-at-RedsFest...

By dinner it becomes fans stalking Votto and his lady.

Take note, Walt.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 6:43 PM EST reply actions  

Don't sign Votto to an extension because this will happen?

You can’t play baseball without ankles. Votto is a huge injury risk.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Dec 2, 2011 8:38 AM EST up reply actions  

wow

Some people get golden parachutes. Some don’t.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Dec 1, 2011 8:07 PM EST reply actions  

Tal Smith is 78.

Why did he need a golden parachute, he’ll be dead within ten years.

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 2, 2011 10:02 AM EST up reply actions  

Where would he get a pension?

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 2, 2011 11:30 AM EST up reply actions  

I was thinking the same thing.

They wouldn’t get it through MLB. But, do individual organizations set up pensions for their executives?

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson

by BigBabyBruce on Dec 2, 2011 11:50 AM EST up reply actions  

Well

It looks like there’s something called the MLB Pension Plan for non-uniformed personnel, so maybe he gets that.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Dec 2, 2011 11:58 AM EST up reply actions  

Another fucking mascot?

when everybody is around and we're swinging for long bombs away, how do we come around to know - man, this really is what it's for?

by DannyGraves on Dec 1, 2011 9:44 PM EST reply actions  

Meh.

That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!

by Ram27 on Dec 1, 2011 9:54 PM EST up reply actions  

editbutton

How about another reliever?

That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!

by Ram27 on Dec 1, 2011 9:55 PM EST up reply actions  

Reds News!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I purchased Jim Day Coors Light last night at Jefferson Hall. No, I do not consider myself to be a JiMinion. He was with some very friendly young lady, who I think Jim could do a lot better than. Much like his beer actually. I guess those freeze cams finally brainwashed what little bit of dignity he had left.

I BLEED RED

by Excalib8 on Dec 2, 2011 2:11 PM EST reply actions  

So in my hand I'm holding...

A ticket for a Scott Rolen autograph today. I’m dressed and headed for WORK. bummer. I finally win something and it’s a waste. Stooopid non transferable tickets…

I BLEED RED

by Excalib8 on Dec 2, 2011 2:13 PM EST reply actions  

Correct me if I'm wrong

but isn’t Jim Day married?? That “friendly young lady” better have been his wife because the idea of Jim Day as a “playa” makes me gag.

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 2, 2011 2:23 PM EST reply actions  

I read that post where HawkeyeGirl tells of her Twitter encounter with Jim Day

Does HawkeyeGirl post on here anymore? Does anyone know what has become of her? I’m concerned for her safety. Jim Day = psycho killer?

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 3, 2011 12:44 AM EST up reply actions  

HawkeyeGirl has been travelling a lot for her work.

She will be notified of you concern for her safety. However she could kick Jim Day’s ass from here to Toledo and I don’t mean Toledo Ohio.

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.

by Madville on Dec 3, 2011 6:16 AM EST up reply actions  

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.

by darthmom on Dec 3, 2011 9:26 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Fah fafa fah fah fafa fuh fah...

FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LAHHHH!

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?

by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 3, 2011 11:25 AM EST up reply actions  

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