Red Reposter - What up wit DatDude?
Brandon Phillips will not be appearing at RedsFest this year
If it were any other player, I would likely downplay this as insignificant. But with BP, who seems about as image conscious as any Cincinnati sports figure, it's probably a big deal. With Phillips and the Reds talking contract extension this winter, this could be read as a sign that he isn't terribly confident that a deal is near. It could be that BeeP is declining to show in anticipation that the fans, expecting him to be there, will show management their displeasure with his absence. He's probably hoping that the fans will use the occasion to pressure the Reds into getting the deal done, showing the team just how much he means to the city.
But that would be a gross miscalculation. Fans rarely ever side with the player in contract disputes. What the fans see is a millionaire complaining that he's not quite the magnitude of millionaire he thinks he should be, which is not a good thing for the player at all. Phillips may be justified in asking for more than what the Reds have offered him (we aren't privy to the exact numbers), but even so, the vast majority of fans will not see it that way. If he's shirking RedsFest hoping it will bring fans to his side, he's making a big mistake. But then again, he just tweeted a few days ago "Just talked to my agent @Baseball_ACES and it feels good to know that we're moving in the right direction to make me a #Red4Life #ALLREADY". So who knows. This is strange.
UPDATE: Word on the tweets is that Phillips will be attending RedsFest after all. So you can disregard all the armchair psycho-babble and unqualified moral grandstanding above.
The Fay ran into Yonder Alonso, who is in town for RedsFest
and noted that he is in noticeably better shape. Yonder says he has lost 18 pounds in the last few months, with the help of a personal chef and dedication to working out. You know, if he really can up his game in the outfield to an acceptable level, I will be very tempted to keep ahold of him and start him in LF every day. He's clearly one of the Reds' best trade chips right now in their search for a top line starter, but I have to think a deal could get done without him. There is plenty of talent on the farm. This is a very interesting development and one that could have huge repercussions on the Reds' off-season. Or maybe it's nothing at all.
Happy trails, Clutch Man Monie
Ramon Hernandez has agreed to a 2-year, $6.5 mil deal with the Rockies, ending his three year run as a Reds backstop. I gotta say, I'm a little surprised at the meagerness of this deal. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had signed for $10 mil, so this looks like a good get for the Rocks.
In a corresponding move, the Rockies sent their former starting catcher, Chris Iannetta, to the Angels. So it looks like Monie will be the #1 catcher for the Rockies this season. Having seen how limited playing time greatly benefited him these past few years, I'm not so sure that move is in the Rockies' best interest. Nevertheless, Red Reporter wholeheartedly wishes Ramon the best of luck in his new digs.
For more reactions from around the Reds blogosphere on Hernandez's departure
check out what Redleg Nation has to say. And here is C-ing Red's take.
Are you still confused about the new CBA?
JinAZ has a rundown of the highlights. Overall it looks like a net positive, but he explains how certain aspects, notably the new amateur draft taxation system, could have dramatically adverse affects.
"The amateur draft, even after the rise in singing bonuses we've seen the lats few years, is still a drop in the bucket compared to other expenses of a major league team. What this new adjustment fixes is that it reduces the degree to which the draft can be leveraged by small market teams as a means of procuring talent. Going over slot, offering major league contracts, etc, are all ways that small market teams can add extra talent in an economically advantageous manner. What this basically means is that, for the same amount spent in the draft last year, amateur players will get less money and poorer contracts next year. That means that more players will opt to go to college, or pursue another sport, because the incentives aren't as good for baseball as they once were. I see the main effect of this change a reduction in the talent coming into MLB. I really don't understand how that can be good for the game."
MLB.com has added a Kidz Newz section
with your new Youth Reporter, 14-year-old Reds fan Meggie Zahneis. Brandon Phillips and Sharon Robinson, Jackie's widow daughter, will be visiting Meggie at Lakota West High this afternoon. As an aside, this only further muddies the waters re: BP, RedsFest, and his connection to the fans and the town. There is just no pinning this guy down. Still, this is spectacular for Meggie, whom I can only assume is floating somewhere in the stratosphere above the tri-state area right now.
Christina Kahrl has a plan to address each NL Central team's problems this winter
Step I: eat a balanced breakfast. Step II: sort out the rotation. Step III: get a haircut. Step IV: address the back end of the bullpen. Step V: figure out what to do with all the young position players. Step VI: KING'S ISLAND!!
Sean Casey, Dan Driessen, and John Reilly will be inducted into the Reds Hall of Fame in June
Casey was The Mayor, Driessen was a secondary cog in the Big Red Machine, and Reilly was the best Reds hitter of the 1880s. All were first basemen.
John Erardi sat down for a Q&A with The Mayor
When asked about his greatest individual moment as a Red, he responded: "In '99, we were coming down the stretch, fighting for every game. I remember (the Pirates') Kris Benson throwing me a jammer in an 0-0 game in the eighth, and I hit a homer, and we won it here in Cincinnati, 1-0. (Aug. 19) It kept us right there (tied for first, .597 winning percentage for the Reds, to .593 for the Astros). Everybody in the crowd was on their feet. As I was rounding the bases, I was thinking, 'This is what it's all about right here.'"
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Sheldon just tweeted that Phillips will be at Redsfest
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
A deal must be imminent.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 1, 2011 12:30 PM EST up reply actions
BP must have read this post
Scrabbles has convinced him of the error of his ways!
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Good thing it was scrabbles and 'creds
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Funny, I didn't see that one...
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
by btcoop71 on Dec 1, 2011 12:53 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Just a small correction: Sharon is Jackie Robinson's daughter. Rachel is his widow.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 1, 2011 12:43 PM EST reply actions
Re5d Re5poste5r!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 1:25 PM EST up reply actions
Terrance and Phillip Scrabbles!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 2:25 PM EST up reply actions
nobody fucks uncles quite like you!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 9:26 PM EST up reply actions
I like that Meggie Zahneis already, she sounds like a great talent.
Speaking of breaking barriers, it’s really about time for some female leadership in baseball. I saw on MLBTradeRumors that Kim Ng is considered a strong candidate for a GM job. That would be a really great move.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 1, 2011 12:46 PM EST reply actions
Ng interviewed for the Angels' GM position.
She had been a VP and an assistant GM (I think?) with the Dodgers for some years and was said to be in line to be the Dodgers’ GM but left them to go work for MLB when all things Dodgers got messy last year.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 1:42 PM EST up reply actions
Anyone else get an ad for diet pills over the pics of the Mayor?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
so apparently Phillips wants years not cash (but he probably still wants cash)
i would link the tweet but i can’t seem to figure out how to get to just an individual tweet on its own page so that it’s linkable. its one of the Fay’s latest tweets. The exact quote from Phillips regarding his contract is “I’ll leave that up to Walt and my agent… I want to be a Red for life. It’s all about the years, not the money.”
block quotes so its a lil easier to read
I’ll leave that up to Walt and my agent… I want to be a Red for life. It’s all about the years, not the money.
he did say before
that he expected this to be his last contract.
Unless he’s planning to retire at age 33, I hope the Reds Just Say No.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Five simple things you can do when you're Brandon Phillips and your agent is hard at work in early December and you really have nothing else to do anyway:
1] Do nothing at first. Namely, do not commit to being at RedsFest.
2] Allow fans’ mild anxiety to build while they contemplate what life (at Reds Fest) will be like without you there.
3] Announce 24-48 hours later that you are going to be there.
4] Be there and be applauded a little bit louder for just being there.
5] Smile at Walt during said applause.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 1:34 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
6] Profit!
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 1, 2011 1:38 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
So is this like a thing now?
You showing up? Because if you go and get me all excited about seeing you around here all the time and then drop off the planet again, I’mma be pissed.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 2:03 PM EST up reply actions
Hey! We should go to Bob's Bar. It's the Cultural Hub of the Midwest!
Calmer than you are.
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Dec 1, 2011 2:06 PM EST up reply actions
Hey!
That’s a great idea! It’s about time for another meeting of the Columbus Crew.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 2:08 PM EST up reply actions
It IS a great idea.
Unfortunately, it’s mostly a great idea because we all like to drink beer. Not because I am likely to be able to be there.
I won’t rule it out though. Plan away!
Note: December is hard on a man with three young children who take part in nearly every imaginable Christmas celebratory event of both the Christian and secular traditions. This shit is hard, man.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 2:46 PM EST up reply actions
Ramon
If it’s $6.5M/2 yrs for the ‘10-11’ version of Hernandez, Colorado got quite the deal. If it’s $6.5M for the ’07-09 version, not so much.
Was there no other interest in him? I’m surprised he didn’t get more – like maybe $6.5M per, not total.
"You never know how you look through other people's eyes"
Oh, and
Happy Birthday to George Foster. I always thought that of all the BMR players, he was the most underrated.
"You never know how you look through other people's eyes"
how could someone that won NL MVP be underrated?
"At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day." Dusty Baker
Johnny Bench never offered to blow him.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 1, 2011 7:26 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
that's racist
"At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day." Dusty Baker
Nah,
I’m sure Johnny swallowed Morgan’s paste.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 1, 2011 9:24 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
At that price, we should have done a sign-and-trade.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
Joey and his girlfriend,
Jeanne Paulus, boarding a private flight to come to Reds Fest.
Apparently they have become vampires this off season. Votto does have a Vampire clause in his contract which lets him out of day games.
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 2:25 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
He's definitely got that "I'll sign a contract extension" look on his face!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 2:27 PM EST up reply actions
I think he has a,
“I just had a hottie riding my Johnson” look on his face.
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 2:30 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Yeah, "extension."
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 2:36 PM EST up reply actions
"I'm gonna get on this plane and fly and while I'm flying I'm gonna read something!"
“All fancy like may man Cy Shourek!”
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 2:34 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
So...
How is he?
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 3:00 PM EST up reply actions
He has that
“I make so much money I don’t have to fly commercial and make a connection to get to Cincinnati” look on his face.
"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone
Pretty unattractive people, if you ask me.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 1, 2011 2:36 PM EST up reply actions
those ghoulish red glowing eyes are not very fetching
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
I'll be your bat boy any time, Mr. Votto!
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 4:19 PM EST up reply actions
Red ehs.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 2:48 PM EST up reply actions
ack
Isn’t there an app for fixing redeye?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Yes: A wooden stake.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 2, 2011 3:19 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
There must have been an incident at the hotel
Why else would she be wearing the shower curtain?
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
aw, that's mean
I’m jealous she can dress like that. That must have been taken in Sarasota. You’d freeze your buns off wearing a sundress like that here.
Interesting that’s he’s posing with her. He’s been kind of protective of her in the past. I don’t think I’ve seen them photographed together before.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Here's another of them together.
This time, no wig:

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 3:14 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I think she's purty
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 4:20 PM EST up reply actions
ditto

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 4:20 PM EST up reply actions
omg
Joey’s wearing flip-flops. I can see his naked toes!
His feet aren’t as hairy as I’d have expected.
Is she Canadian? I gather they’ve been together a long time – long enough for her to be a hometown honey. And her first name looks like it might be French.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
She was a dental hygienest
from Florida when they met. I think that’s part of the reason he lives in Florida in the off season. They live in Mt. Adams during the season. I’m not a stalker, I swear.
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 6:02 PM EST up reply actions
my boyfriend says I'm a stalker
Well, he’s not exactly my boyfriend yet.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Dec 1, 2011 6:07 PM EST up reply actions 9 recs
Does this "boyfriend" also live in Mt. Adams?
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 1, 2011 6:17 PM EST up reply actions
nah
Though there’s a guy living in the shadow of Minute Maid Park who might be worried. ;-)
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Close the deal on that sister!
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
She's nice and safe and won't complain when Joet's out late at night at the Docks.
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
Quit getting your hopes up, elbow patches. :)
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 2, 2011 5:26 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I would happily be Joey's trophy husband
I would trade being fucked in the ass for not having to pay my student loans, a nice house in Sarasota, and a nice place in Mt. Adams.
Sign me up!
"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone
by Yossarian22 on Dec 2, 2011 5:50 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
I think we have identified a key difference between us.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
My student debt has left me so desperate i will sell my body to other men?
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
gotta do what you gotta do man
the ends justify the means
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 3, 2011 5:36 PM EST up reply actions
the ends justifies the means is a personal mantra of mine.
Contributing little more than than snark and wittiness to SBN since 2007.
mine as well!
we agree!
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 4, 2011 9:40 AM EST up reply actions
I think she better hold on for dear life
because he could do wayyyy better
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
You think Joey Votto wouldn't be discerning?
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 1, 2011 10:03 PM EST up reply actions
I think he's loyal
until contract negotiation time.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 1, 2011 10:12 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
looks-wise
She’s quite stunning. The photos don’t do her justice.
She’s not a famous celebrity, but I don’t think Joey would like the attention that comes with dating a Jessica Simpson or Rihanna type.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I think she's beautiful
I believe they’ve been dating since Joey played in Sarasota in 2005. That’s a long time so I assume they love each other. That’s kind of harsh to say he could do way better! Maybe she is an awesome person with a fantastic personality in addition to her looks.
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
"Maybe she is an awesome person with a fantastic personality in addition to her looks."
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Wait, are you serious?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Yes, I'm serious!
If I knew her I think she and I would totally be BFFs
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
Joey seems like the kind of fella who doesn't fuck around
in both the colloquial and literal sense.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 2, 2011 11:41 AM EST up reply actions
I think women think this is possible.
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
I'm jealous she gets to sleep with Joey Votto
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
"There Must Have Been an Incident at the Hotel"
#KanyeLyrics
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 3:05 PM EST up reply actions
I look at this photo
and alls I can think is, “Damn, I gotta get in shape”.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 2:58 PM EST up reply actions
You can starve yourself and go to the gym all you want man, you're never gonna look like her
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
When the lights are off..
..we alllll look like her, man.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 3:03 PM EST up reply actions
The taste is what gets ya IME
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 1, 2011 3:26 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Just a little fashion tip, which Joey does very well.
Most men’s shirts are grossly oversized in the belt area and thus unflattering. He smartly chooses shirts that taper so they don’t have that blouse look when they are tucked in. I started wearing a size down in shirts or buying the extra slim shirts when I can, and my in-laws asked me if I had lost weight. So I guess that worked. Dudes are reluctant to share clothes tips, but this is good advice!
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 1, 2011 6:20 PM EST up reply actions
I'm usually the one critiquing haberdashery around these parts.
Stop stealing my bit.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 1, 2011 6:37 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Obviously wasn't taken with an iPhone 4S
Which has advanced something something low light something and magic dust that does something to red eye.
That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!
Joey's girl even got him these
cupcakes:
She’s working hard for HER contract extension.
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 5:11 PM EST up reply actions
Where are you getting these photos?
That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!
Joey kicking some teenage boy's ass
in Xbox360.
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 6:13 PM EST up reply actions
Joey having lunch at the Capital Grill.
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 6:16 PM EST up reply actions
Joey's dog
in Mt. Adams.
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 6:17 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Too much.
You are quickly crossing the line between entertaining and odd.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 1, 2011 6:22 PM EST up reply actions
I take that as a great compliment,
thank you.
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 6:23 PM EST up reply actions
It seems she enjoys taking pictures of a body of water with her legs in the foreground.
That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!
if I was around joey votto all of the time
I would also show the world my pictures of joey votto
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Joey's Friend from College Hill

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
by Madville on Dec 2, 2011 12:32 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
you know they got money because they drink San Pellegrino like it's Diet Rite.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
They sell that @ Costco,
it’s quite refreshing. It also comes in Orange.
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 6:04 PM EST up reply actions
No shit?
You’re like Sherlockandrathan Holmes
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 6:38 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
she looks delicious
since we’re going with the Vampire theme
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 3, 2011 1:05 AM EST up reply actions
Anyone have any tips on mice killing?
We have them in our house, and after killing 5 in the span of 2 days with old fashion spring traps, they seemingly have figured them out and are cleaning the peanut butter without setting off the traps.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
In other words...
This thread is pretty much dead so let’s just start posting lolcats.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 3:45 PM EST up reply actions
You're forgetting 'swiss cheese with dynamite in one of the holes.'
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 3:48 PM EST up reply actions
Coexistence is the new killing.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 4:23 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
There's not a lot of blood in them.
They squish and crackle in a really unpleasant way.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 5:07 PM EST up reply actions
au contraire
Just got home and one got a trap snapped on its head and crushed the little bugger’s skull. There was a decent amount of blood on the floor.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
rad.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:18 PM EST up reply actions
When I worked downtown, we had a locker room in the basement
the basement was known to have rats from time to time, so there were big industrial rat traps spread about down there. One day I go down to change clothes to find the biggest rat I have ever seen. It was the size of a small cat. It had got his head snapped in the trap, but he was big enough that it didn’t kill him. He dragged the trap a good five feet while bleeding from the head, so there was a trail of blood from the spot he got snapped until he finally died… Nasty.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
Poison
It keeps them from coming back too. Unless they are city mice. If you live in the city, then nothing will kill those fuckers. You just leave them the remote and go to another room.
The season doesn't start until the Cincinnati Reds take the field! Reclaim The Opener!!
by TheC on Dec 1, 2011 5:16 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Poison is great...
…if you like the smell of dead rodent in your wall.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
adds to the ambiance of a place, really
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 3, 2011 9:44 AM EST up reply actions
Really ties the room together
Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!
by Ram27 on Dec 3, 2011 3:53 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Fuckin' A man
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 3, 2011 5:36 PM EST up reply actions
my office
Uses those sticky traps. They can be kinda gross, but if you want blood…
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Those things are foul.
I’d recommend an electric trap—quick and painless and easy disposal. You can find them on Amazon. The mouse goes in and that’s it.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Dec 1, 2011 6:25 PM EST up reply actions
i have a friend who shot a mouse with a hand gun
he did not get the deposit back on that apartment.
"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone
FTFY
Isopenus
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 3, 2011 1:13 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
here's a how-to video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0Dx7g4qcRw
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
by bbjones on Dec 1, 2011 7:34 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Obviously, I wouldn't do this
but you could always get a cat!
by the finest muffins on Dec 1, 2011 9:45 PM EST up reply actions
I'd rather have the mice
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 1, 2011 10:14 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
This really should have 10+ recs, the man presents a very compelling argument
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Those work really well
And cats are awesome
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
yes, yes they are.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:26 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
them's my kitties!
Max (gray) and Walker (black).
They’re lazier than I am, but they’re brothers, so I blame the parents I adopted them from!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:29 PM EST up reply actions
hmm, I think the ones on the desk might be Ms. KMiB's...
which would make it “Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight” and one I’m not sure of.
I just finished Charlie Papazian’s “Joy of Homebrewing,” and I’m whipping up an IPA batch this Saturday after the UK/UNC game!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:37 PM EST up reply actions
and I re-read 3 of Louis L'Amour's Hopalong Cassidy novels in Costa Rica
I’m a sucker for quick-read western novels…so sue me!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:40 PM EST up reply actions
Speaking of the UK/UNC game
Die, Cats, die.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 2, 2011 11:07 AM EST up reply actions
Good lookin' fellas
Here’s a pic of the real Charlie Scrabbles during a grueling Reds’ losing streak:

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 10:42 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I don't have any pics of his new friend on the web yet, though
It goes without saying that Chuck is cooler than Chloe is.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 10:44 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah, a few months ago
She’s not as cool as Charlie is, but he’s happy to have a friend.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 2, 2011 7:50 AM EST up reply actions
is she an orange tabby, like Charlie?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
She has long white fur
with an orange spot on her head and an orange tail. Pretty much the exact opposite.
She’s nice and all, but we were kind of coerced into getting her. So it’s taking a while for me to warm up to her.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 2, 2011 10:25 AM EST up reply actions
she sounds beautiful
But…coerced? What, did Charlie say, “Get me girlfriend, or I’m peeing on your bed”?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
She's a very pretty kitty
but I don’t care much for the long hair.
As for the coercion, my mother-in-law’s friend had to get rid of her and we were Jewish guilted into taking her in.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 2, 2011 12:24 PM EST up reply actions
Would you say you like your kitties to have short hair, Chuck?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Charlie has short hair
It’s just easier to brush and you don’t have to vacuum as….waaaaaiiiiiit a minute!!!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 2, 2011 12:46 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
I like shorthairs better, too
Much lower maintenance. For the cat and the owner.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 2, 2011 3:38 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
I'm scairt to un-block this image
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Go ahead and unblock it
Trust me, it’s not bad.
Trust me.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 2, 2011 6:16 PM EST up reply actions
it looks like lil' Scrabbles is watching Bruce on a cold streak
“Lay off the outside changeup, dammit!”
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:46 PM EST up reply actions
Good Lord
I have the exact same carpet, laundry basket, and cat (well, her legs are white, but still).
That was weird to see.
That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!
He's adorable.
I’m bored and I want to play. Here’s my first pet ever, the inscrutable Kiymik:

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
let's see your cat do this
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 1, 2011 11:04 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I've said it before,
I’d rather have a dog any day. But dang…he was a hell of a cat.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Chuckles would fer seriously kick that dog's ass
Then he would do a radical jump on his bmx and slam dunk the dog’s flaming skull into a basketball hoop made of the dog’s bones that he built after kicking the dog’s ass but before doing the radical jump.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 11:08 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Fer real seriously, though
That looks like a really cool dog. Like ten times cooler than that skateboard dog from Goofy Movie.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 11:12 PM EST up reply actions
Whatever.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 11:12 PM EST up reply actions
That's awesome! My puppy thinks you deserve a high five.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
His little tongue is sticking out!
Soooooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 11:05 PM EST up reply actions
My cat does that thing with her tongue too

I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
I thought my cat was retarded
Until he started peeing in the toilet, without any sort of training. He just figured out how it worked and started doing it.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 2, 2011 11:08 AM EST up reply actions
my friend's cat did that
The cat was using the toilet for over a year before he realized it. He had a roommate, and both he and his roommate assumed the other one was the slob who didn’t flush.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
If by awesome you mean evil, I agree 100%
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Cats are minions of Satan.
They will steal your soul when you sleep.
Seriously…. for reelz
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 2, 2011 11:23 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
A soul can't be stolen.
It can only be bought and sold.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 2, 2011 11:50 AM EST up reply actions
Cats steal because they are evil.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 2, 2011 11:50 AM EST up reply actions
Much like humans...

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 2, 2011 11:59 AM EST up reply actions
that must be why I'm a soulless heathen
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
If you step on them they will die.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
like goombas
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
Not only is Joey not going to stick around Cinti long
He’s not going to marry Jeanne Paulus and he sure at good point in his career to be traded for some prospects and a pitvccher.
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
You must be some sort of witch!
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 4:56 PM EST up reply actions
I'm not one who's prone to hyperbole
So you know I’m serious when I say unequivocally that that is the greatest thing ever in the world. Ever.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 4:58 PM EST up reply actions
As is proper sentence structure, I presume.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 5:03 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
what? im sorry im not in english class. its after 3 oclock
by StVivians2014 on Dec 1, 2011 5:07 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Aunt Viv 1, Glenn 0
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Dec 1, 2011 7:02 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Tee-hee, newfag.
Tee-hee, newfag.
That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!
That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!
by Ram27 on Dec 1, 2011 9:31 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
It means the comment was recommended (or "rec'd", in the parlance of our times)
by three people. It means you’re funny!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 9:23 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Unlike Scrabbles here, who, try as he might, can't seem to get his comments green'd.
:-)
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 1, 2011 9:46 PM EST via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
Shouldn't be too hard, just have to make fun of creds
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
WELL IN THAT CASE!
I’mma rec Scrabbles’ above comment for niceyness!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:16 PM EST up reply actions
Thanks, KMiB
I think you’re the bomb, too!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 10:19 PM EST up reply actions
word, yo!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:28 PM EST up reply actions
I'll rec it.
But hey Greenie, check out my man Mango’s big hit here in SBNation.
Twenty-five.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Dec 1, 2011 10:44 PM EST up reply actions
Yay I think!
On Friday, FOX Sports Ohio will be shooting footage of the event
That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!
Sorry everyone
I had to delete the fantasy girl.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 4:47 PM EST reply actions
So did CoCo, although her ass is slightly larger than the lettuce girl's
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
poor coco was shooting SVU & forgot her underwear
no recent updates on the kitty facials either.
she’s slipping
She may HAVE been wearing
a thong. Sometimes those things get lost in the folds.
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 1, 2011 4:57 PM EST up reply actions
boo
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 1, 2011 4:48 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
I know, I know
I did save the file to desktop though, and I hope you did the same.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 4:51 PM EST up reply actions
I miss my precious plumpkin so much.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 4:57 PM EST up reply actions
I took a screen cap for posterior's sake
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Dec 1, 2011 5:01 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
xxx

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 1, 2011 5:06 PM EST up reply actions
awwww ... i miss all the fun around here
Individuality: Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
from Old Time Familly Baseball
On the CBA
I’ve made no secret of my distaste for the new Major League collective bargaining agreement as it essentially punishes small market teams for scouting amateur talent; depresses baseball on the international market by severely curbing bonuses; and rewards clubs with the financial ability to sign aging free agents, but beyond all that, we still don’t have all the details
It links to BA’s post on the CBA.
It sounds pretty complicated. One of you RR lawyers should get into this. You’ll get fabulously rich and can invite the rest of us to watch the WS from your luxury suite!
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Noontime thread starts off with fans shrugging off BP's will-he-or-won't-he-be-at-RedsFest...
By dinner it becomes fans stalking Votto and his lady.
Take note, Walt.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
Don't sign Votto to an extension because this will happen?

You can’t play baseball without ankles. Votto is a huge injury risk.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
wow
Some people get golden parachutes. Some don’t.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Just read that
That is cold-blooded.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 1, 2011 9:24 PM EST up reply actions
Tal Smith is 78.
Why did he need a golden parachute, he’ll be dead within ten years.
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 2, 2011 10:02 AM EST up reply actions
you must be a Republican
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Dec 2, 2011 10:15 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Seriously. You don't need to give severance to someone who's already receiving social security.
And I’m sure a fat pension on top of that.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 2, 2011 11:11 AM EST up reply actions
Where would he get a pension?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
right here buddy!

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 2, 2011 11:35 AM EST up reply actions
man, this was my personal favorite comment of the last few weeks, too.
/Scrabbles’d
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 2, 2011 3:07 PM EST up reply actions
no shit!
I thought it was solid gold…day late, dollar short I suppose.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 2, 2011 6:03 PM EST up reply actions
I liked it
I didn’t rec like it though.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 2, 2011 6:17 PM EST up reply actions
I was thinking the same thing.
They wouldn’t get it through MLB. But, do individual organizations set up pensions for their executives?
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Dec 2, 2011 11:50 AM EST up reply actions
I'm sure The Houston Astros Baseball Club does provide pensions for its executives.
It’s, like, a business or something.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Dec 2, 2011 11:53 AM EST up reply actions
Sometimes I heart the intrawebs.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Dec 1, 2011 9:26 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
Another fucking mascot?

when everybody is around and we're swinging for long bombs away, how do we come around to know - man, this really is what it's for?
Meh.
That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!
editbutton
How about another reliever?
That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!
Yes, yes I do believe he could be our #3 starter this year.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 1, 2011 10:32 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Reds News!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I purchased Jim Day Coors Light last night at Jefferson Hall. No, I do not consider myself to be a JiMinion. He was with some very friendly young lady, who I think Jim could do a lot better than. Much like his beer actually. I guess those freeze cams finally brainwashed what little bit of dignity he had left.
I BLEED RED
So in my hand I'm holding...
A ticket for a Scott Rolen autograph today. I’m dressed and headed for WORK. bummer. I finally win something and it’s a waste. Stooopid non transferable tickets…
I BLEED RED
Correct me if I'm wrong
but isn’t Jim Day married?? That “friendly young lady” better have been his wife because the idea of Jim Day as a “playa” makes me gag.
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
he is married
But I think he might be a wickdipper, too. Ask HawkeyeGirl about it.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Dec 2, 2011 2:57 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
I read that post where HawkeyeGirl tells of her Twitter encounter with Jim Day
Does HawkeyeGirl post on here anymore? Does anyone know what has become of her? I’m concerned for her safety. Jim Day = psycho killer?
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
HawkeyeGirl has been travelling a lot for her work.
She will be notified of you concern for her safety. However she could kick Jim Day’s ass from here to Toledo and I don’t mean Toledo Ohio.

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
good point
You know those serial killers. They start out with the neighborhood cats, move up to giraffes, then…
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Dec 3, 2011 6:39 AM EST up reply actions 4 recs
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
by darthmom on Dec 3, 2011 9:26 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Fah fafa fah fah fafa fuh fah...
FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LAHHHH!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 3, 2011 11:25 AM EST up reply actions

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