Giving Of The Thanks
Happy Thanksgiving 2011, Red Reporters! While our favorite team may have had a season to forget I am here to lift your spirits and remind you of the good that outshines the bad.
First and foremost we should all be thankful, if for no other reason than the fact that we got to spend another summer watching our favorite team play the most beautiful game in the world at the highest level while taking us along a roller coaster ride of emotions. Feeling is living, and baseball gives that to us.
I'm here to tell you why we should bow our cyber heads and thank the good baseball gods above for the graces he/she has bestowed upon us. All praise our favorite turkey!
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I hereby give thanks that:
- Dusty Baker is the manager of the Reds. Complain if you will but the man brought playoff baseball to Cincinnati for the first time in 15 years and the players love playing for him. I dare you to say you would prefer Jerry Narron, Dave Miley, or Bob Boone.
- Joey Votto is a Cincinnati Red - It's looking more likely by the day that Joey won't retire a Red so please, enjoy him while you can. The man is one of the best overall hitters I've seen in my lifetime. I get chills watching him hunker down and fight off borderline pitch after borderline pitch before lining a fastball off the plate to left center for a 2 RBI double. His at bat against Broxton was an absolute thing of beauty and the best part was as you were watching it happen, you KNEW Joey wasn't going to make an out. I might have an unhealthy crush on this man.
- Brandon Phillips is a Cincinnati Red - We may have become spoiled with 2B defense over the years with Bret Boone and Pokey Reese, but BP has taken it to another level. If you haven't had the opportunity to see one of his masterpieces in person, get to the ballpark this year please. It's an unbelievable experience to see a sharply hit ball to the right side go from single to Web Gem in 2 seconds. If you're like me you'll start cheering late because you're looking to the person next to you yelling "HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!!?". Seriously folks, we're going to miss him when he's gone.
- Jay Bruce is a Cincinnati Red - There's been talk recently as to whether or not Jay Bruce has peaked as a hitter. For the record I don't think he has, but if he plateaus at 30 HR/100 RBI for the next five years with great RF defense for the next five years you're going to have to find someone else to color disappointed.
- Johnny Cueto is a Cincinnati Red - Johnny seems to have figured it out and has gotten better each year, to the point of dominance last year. He's become the bulldog I wasn't sure he could, and I couldn't be happier to be wrong.
More thanks given after the jump.
- Aroldis Chapman is a Cincinnati Red - Ah, the polarizing question - should he start or close? I honestly don't care, either way he's going to make the hair stand up on my arms when I'm in the stands and he throws a baseball 103 mph.
- The future is bright - The Reds have more positional talent than spots available, which bodes well for the future. You know what every flailing team wants in exchange for their one dominant starter? A major league ready position player that can hit. We've got a ton to give should we decide to chase pitching help.
- Great ownership and front office - This is one of my personal causes and I feel very strongly about it, so bear with me. The Reds FO doesn't get enough credit in my opinion; as Cincinnatians we have to live with the fact that Mike Brown takes our money while smiling through his lying teeth and telling us that the Bengals are "building a winner". The Reds didn't talk the talk, they walked the walk, put their money where their mouth was, and fulfilled every other cliche I can think to attach to the situation. We frustratingly looked on for years as the Reds' front office held an annual "everything must go" yard sale in July while blaming it on the money crunch created by us not coming out to watch a subpar product but that changed with the current ownership group. A huge tip of the cap should go to Bob Castellini and the Reds front office for investing in us first, making attending a Reds game a desirable experience again while rebuilding the franchise from the inside out. They've been creative when the success had yet to come and to their credit they haven't rested on their laurels, still promoting the hell out of the ballpark experience, Redsfest, and the team in general. I love going to the ballpark and recommend it to anyone that will listen. For me personally the Reds have passed the Cyclones and now claim the "best bang for your sports buck" title in Cincinnati, which is saying something. Get your asses out there and support the team, they're worth it on every level.
- The NL Central is ripe for the taking for the next three years - The Cardinals are in flux (see below), the Brewers can't afford Prince, and the Cubs are the Cubs for now. The next three years are a perfect opportunity for the Reds to make a move and chase a title. I promise you that the Reds know this and are positioning themselves accordingly.
- Tony LaRussa retired - Historically great manager, insufferable prick. Good god damned riddance.
- The Cardinals are about to make a terrible mistake - Unless I'm wrong (and it has been known to happen) the Cardinals will sign Albert Pujols to a completely unreasonable deal to ensure that he retires a Cardinal and joins the ranks of greats Stan Musial, Bob Gibson, et al. Good for them for preserving their franchise history, good for us that it will financially cripple their team with the help of the Holliday deal. By year three of that deal I think the rest of baseball will be looking on in amazement at the Titantic Pujols contract as it crashes into the Old Age iceberg.
- The St. Louis Cardinals are paying Kyle Lohse $11.875 million in 2012 - In the words of immortal comic Larry The Cable Guy, "I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there". Good luck with that, shitheads.
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On a personal note
I’d like to give thanks to all of you. Since I joined in 2007 I have been through every type of personal hell and one of the very few constants in my life has been this site. Red Reporter has given me the opportunity to express myself eloquently, crassly, and every other way in between. It has at times served as a support group, a sounding board, and babysitter.
My behavior has been everywhere between disciplinarian and ultimate troll, but you guys were always here to challenge or encourage me along the way and I appreciate that. Only very recently have I gotten back to the mental peace I enjoyed when I first joined, so there’s yet another adjustment to be made I suppose. No matter what happens though, I’ll always enjoy the ridiculousity of Red Reporter. It probably saved my life on more than one occasion, and I say that with absolutely no sarcasm.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Nov 24, 2011 12:57 AM EST reply actions 9 recs
You joined in '07?
I didn’t realize you were such a noob around here. #hipsterRR #irealizethisisnttwitter
by Brian B on Nov 24, 2011 1:34 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
You're one of my favorites
crass for sure! but in a good way (if that makes sense). I’m glad you have your mental peace back. I’ve been on a small search for it myself.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
Oh, and Krusty Baker is the same manager as Narron,Miley,Boon,etc. They are all player;s managers and softies. You don’t need a player’s manager when your team is 95% young…Very young!
Blah blah blah.
Happy Thanksgiving, one and all. Don’t forget that Joey celebrated it in October.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Nov 25, 2011 11:07 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Awww, what a great post
God bless us everyone!
I don't know why my kids call me that. I think I'm a pretty nice mom.
And of course I'm Thankful for the onset of College Basketball

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
by Madville on Nov 24, 2011 4:50 AM EST reply actions 5 recs
awesome pic madville
Nobody listens to Andrew
by nlt-andrew68 on Nov 24, 2011 2:19 PM EST up reply actions
Being thankful for Dusty
Crazy as he can make me sometimes, I have to agree. If for no other reason than, unless Francona want to come to Cincy, I don’t know who out there would be a big upgrade. As you said, he brought playoff baseball back to Cincy. The problem is, he doesn’t seem to know how he did it, which makes doing it again a little more difficult!
Correction,our young,inconsistent,talent got us to the playoffs.That year it was pitching and timely hitting…AKA clutch hitting! We need a proven ace and to fire Krusty Baker and Brook Suckoby!!!!!!!
So when the team wins it's because of the players, but when they lose it's because of the managers and coaches? Got it.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Nah
this year the team lost because no starting pitcher not named Mike Leake or Johnny Cueto could answer the bell.
"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone
No but when a manager refuses to emphasize discipline,fundamentals,small ball,and hustling…Then theres a problem! Players that run their mouths like Phillips deserve too get penalized! Then again,Phillips is a cry-baby and belongs down in St Louis.
by kevin122380 on Nov 24, 2011 10:53 PM EST up reply actions
Nope, not gonna do it. Gonna let you starve.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
We don't want him
11 in '11, Check.
12 in 12, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
by I-Musial-ly-Am on Nov 27, 2011 9:36 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Come on do not pull a Hal...
Dusty Baker is the manager of the Reds. Complain if you will but the man brought playoff baseball to Cincinnati for the first time in 20 years and the players love playing for him. I dare you to say you would prefer Jerry Narron, Dave Miley, or Bob Boone.
It was actually 15 years.
"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone
I don't know about you, but I'm really tired of the "brought playoff baseball back to Cincinnati" line
It’s a throw away line, means nothing, and it’s everywhere. Do people just like the way it sounds?
by Brian B on Nov 24, 2011 11:46 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Yeah
I do believe that DanO, Wayner, and Walt did more to “bring playoff baseball back to Cincinnati” than Dusty. Dusty was there at the right time.
"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone
by Yossarian22 on Nov 24, 2011 11:50 AM EST up reply actions
Wayne K doesn't deserve any credit..IMO
If Josh Hamilton was still a Red, the Reds, not the Rangers might have had consecutive World Series appearances. I was glad to see him fired…
Nobody listens to Andrew
by nlt-andrew68 on Nov 24, 2011 2:18 PM EST up reply actions
I disagree
Brandon Phillips, Bronson Arroyo, Edinson Volquez, Drew Stubbs, and Chris Heisey all played important roles on the 2010 team, and all were acquired by Krivsky. Also Krivksy deserves credit for the moves he did not make; he held on to most of the young players, like I am sure he probably was getting some pressure to trade Votto for Bedard but he didn’t do it.
"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone
remember when teh Fay
Reported that it was 75% sure that Votto and Bailey would be traded for Bedard?
That’s a bullet dodged.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Didn't you mean to go to cincinnati.com/blogs/reds?
by Cuetotally Amazing on Nov 25, 2011 11:10 AM EST via mobile up reply actions 3 recs
The Reds have no turkey, and are passing to no one.
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
by ZJiff30 on Nov 24, 2011 11:54 AM EST reply actions 9 recs
Who did a ninja edit on my story, moving the jump? :)
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
You haven't had the best year, fuck beer
heroine and nyquil is the way to go.
"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone
by Yossarian22 on Nov 24, 2011 12:26 PM EST up reply actions
He can use some heroine and NyQuil to kill the pain
and then decide he wants a hooker to try and forget his past but snort some blow to counteract the heroine and nyquil. Sounds like a great fucking day really, better than “family time”.
"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone
by Yossarian22 on Nov 24, 2011 12:37 PM EST up reply actions
will sbn pay me for plugging nyquil?
"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone
by Yossarian22 on Nov 24, 2011 12:45 PM EST up reply actions
what I want to know is
will they pay me for plugging hookers?
by pack_fan on Nov 25, 2011 6:41 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
this needs green'd
yet has no rec’s….
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Nov 27, 2011 1:07 PM EST up reply actions
Also
RR, you guys are awesome. I mean, hell, I’ve been around since I was like 16 or something and never swore or any shit like that and this site has had a sadly high amount to do with shaping me into who I am today. It’s pretty great to have a group to share my Reds fandom with and you guys have all taught me a whole ton about baseball… and other things. I’m totally thankful for RR.
i had help
"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone
by Yossarian22 on Nov 24, 2011 12:33 PM EST up reply actions
Same'd
But my swearing is more Dave Grohl’s fault.
That was a disgraceful performance, in my opinion. We threw that game, we gave it away. We gave them the fucking game. In my opinion, that sucked. What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about--playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game!
by Ram27 on Nov 24, 2011 1:21 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Happy Turkey Day RR
If anyone wants to get away from their family tonight and dance off their turkey high, come to the Down Under in Covington and see me (and others) spinning funky 45’s.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
what time? i might be free after 9:30 or so.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Nov 24, 2011 2:57 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
what time? I'll be free after 9:30 or so.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Nov 24, 2011 2:57 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
email me your cell number, I'll give you a call later and figure it out
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Nov 24, 2011 3:19 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Happy Turkey Day
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Nov 24, 2011 1:48 PM EST reply actions 4 recs
Great post, Jeremy.
I am thankful for not having to root for folks like Chris Carpenter, Tony LaRussa or anything that has a neck tattoo.
by FordhamRam on Nov 24, 2011 1:52 PM EST reply actions 4 recs
I'm thankful that this gem of a commenter has found his way to our little site.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Nov 25, 2011 12:16 AM EST via mobile up reply actions 2 recs
2011
I am thankful that my father wound up aces after two major surgeries the past two months.
I am thankful my sister had a healthy baby boy, her first child.
I am thankful I survived tha Cancun bachelor party and attended my own wedding. I’m also thankful Tropical Storm Arlene moved the fuck outta dodge after stalling over puerto morales for three days.
I’m thankful the bengals don’t suck nearly as much as I anticipated, the Ohio bobcats are going bowling again, and that the NBA is locked out.
I’m thankful edwinfest 2.0 and 3.0 went over more smoothly than edwinfest 1.0
I’m thankful gabp is muuuuuuuuuuch less expensive than Fenway/Wrigley
I’m thankful I have relocated back to the great state of Ohio.
I’m thankful ’creds was wrong about Edgard.
I’m thankful I have my health, and the spawn are strong. And that they’re taller than the ex in-laws
I was thankful Pixar made a sequel to Cars…until I saw it. Ugh.
I’m thankful I fried and grilled turkeys successfully this afternoon and that my belly is almost ready for a leftover turkey sammich (with Swiss, gravy and Heinz 57)
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Nov 24, 2011 7:41 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
I'm thankful that people always stay true to form
How exactly was I wrong about Edgard.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Nov 25, 2011 12:14 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
I'm thankful that this gem of a commenter has found his way to our little site.
"Life is such a vapid world pool of nothing"-Eddie Pepitone
by Yossarian22 on Nov 25, 2011 12:44 AM EST up reply actions
x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Nov 25, 2011 12:52 AM EST up reply actions 10 recs
I'm thankful momma Schourek has a granddaughter
and that it’s not mine.
I’m thankful I got to go to GABP this year.
I’m thankful I got to go to Billings this year.
I’m thankful I was allowed to do embeddable .gifs in gamethreads this year.
I’m thankful for having the opportunity to actually watch the all-star game because there were so many Reds in it.
And most of all, I’m thankful for having expectations coming into this year to get ruined.
Much like crawlf, I came in here when I was 19 or so, and it’s been odd to go from n00b to veteran. But it has been a lot of fun, and I hope you’ve had fun, too. Happy weekend, y’all.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I'm thankful the sun finally popped out this morning.
Them folks ain’t kidding when they say the rainy season in the rainforest is rainy!
For real though, hope all you guys and gals had a very happy Dia de Gracias. Walt, you’ve got four more days til I get home…you betterw not fuck up til then!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Nov 25, 2011 9:22 AM EST via iPhone app reply actions
This year, my family all received copies of Castaway
for the giving of T.Hanks.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Nov 25, 2011 7:57 PM EST via mobile reply actions 3 recs
survey says...?!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Nov 25, 2011 9:18 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
I thought it was a 'tHan joke at first.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Nov 25, 2011 10:28 PM EST up reply actions
I'm sorry, I totally dropped the ball on that one
It should have been ’tHanksgiving.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
should probably rephrase that
I thought he was making a joke on the ‘tHan name, like he was saying he was giving ’tHanks or something. But he wasn’t. He was saying THanks.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Nov 26, 2011 11:42 AM EST up reply actions

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