Trade Rumors: CKershaw CKoming to CKincinnati?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Nov 11, 2011 11:19 AM EST
in Fake News
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PrintIt's been a quiet month in Redsland, but things just got interesting. According to an unnamed source, the Dodgers are not only listening on their ace Clayton Kershaw, but are close to a deal that would send him to Cincinnati.
As is well known, the Dodgers' ownership situation is in flux. Outgoing owner Frank McCourt has instructed GM Ned Coletti to curtail spending in an attempt to make the team's payroll situation more attractive to prospective buyers. Kershaw is arbitration-eligible for the first time this off-season and MLBTradeRumors projects a salary north of $8 mil. Considering that Kershaw is a favorite to win the Cy Young this year, he would easily be the most attractive pitcher on the market if they decided to make him available.
It looks like he is being made available, and it looks like the Reds are keen to capitalize. The source, who claims to have information from someone in the Reds organization, says the package of players that might be headed to LA includes Yonder Alonso, Yasmani Grandal, Edinson Volquez, and Homer Bailey. The Dodgers are reportedly very keen on Alonso and want him to replace James Loney at 1B, whom they intend to non-tender. Volquez and Bailey are included to free up $5 mil or so to fit Kershaw into the Reds' budget.
The deal isn't finalized yet though, as Coletti is awaiting approval from McCourt, who is reportedly busy hosting monkey knife fights on his yacht.
More on this as it develops.
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Yeah, I'm confused.
Those links certainly indicate this is an elaborate ruse, but I’m not sure why Chuck would do that to us.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
no.
is it next to the “completely made up trade rumors” tag?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Nov 11, 2011 11:55 AM EST up reply actions
ckruel
Just ckruel.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Nov 11, 2011 12:57 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Holy moly.
If true, this would be awesome. If false, then Charlie has horribly misunderstood which day of the year is practical joke day.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Nov 11, 2011 11:28 AM EST reply actions
+1
To compete, we need an ace, Kershaw gives us that ace. This deal has been rumored for a while though, and I wonder if this is just another rumor.
Veterans Day!
Ha, Charlie GOTCHA! Y’all forgot what day it was! Good one Chuck!
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
This is wrong.
You shouldn’t do this to people. Why? Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Nov 11, 2011 11:35 AM EST reply actions 6 recs
The Reds should offer three players
It’s three players when I get there that are gone. Yonder Alonso, Edinson Volquez, and the uh, what’s the third one there? Oh five, OK. Nah. Yonder Alonso, Edinson Volquez, and uh, uhm, um, … Bronson Arroyo, there you go! No, HA! No sir, no sir, we’re taking about the, uh, players on the team… Bronson Arroyo needs to be rebuilt, there’s no doubt about that. The third player on the team, I would, I would do away with Yonder Alonso, uh, the uh, Ed, Edinson Volquez, and let’s see… I can’t, the third one I can’t. Sorry. Oops.
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
by boobs on Nov 11, 2011 11:44 AM EST reply actions 8 recs
Sideshow Rick Perry
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Nov 11, 2011 12:10 PM EST up reply actions
What's greener than green?
Well done!
The season doesn't start until the Cincinnati Reds take the field! Reclaim The Opener!!
Die in a fire, Scrabbles.
We're all mad. I'm mad. You're mad. Otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.
nah nah nah
This is way more fun than sitting around saying “maybe Homer will figure it out this year, and maybe Volquez, Arroyo, Wood, Stubbs, LF disastromonster, and the SS conundrum won’t suck so bad again next year there’s no money blah blah blah.”
Rec-a-Chuck!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Nov 11, 2011 11:51 AM EST up reply actions
He did get me to log in, so there's that.
Reminiscent of jch’s A-Rod rumor from back in the dark ages.
We're all mad. I'm mad. You're mad. Otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.
I would like to point out - that was not me
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
But she saw you bangin' on the sofa!
Still not a candidate.
by Gray on Nov 11, 2011 12:28 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
PS
This unknown team that Jamey Carroll is nearing a deal with is really, really pissing me off.
If the Reds are going to sneak into a deal (like they did with Chapman), I sure as shit hope it’s not Jamey Carroll.
Please, pretty please…
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Nov 11, 2011 11:54 AM EST up reply actions
Agreed
I think we’re all tired of that narrative and it’s only mid-November. “If you don’t like what they’re saying, change the conversation.” To something that you made up in your mind.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Nov 11, 2011 11:54 AM EST up reply actions
Which Red would make the best football player, and at what position?
I think it’s Stubbs at WR.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Nov 11, 2011 11:57 AM EST up reply actions
Adam Dunn at QB
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
No way he's fast enough to be an NFL linebacker.
Stubbs would make an excellent WR, and I think Jay Bruce could be a good QB.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Did you discern that using your familiarity with the smell, shit-eater?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
gobble gobble
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Nov 11, 2011 2:32 PM EST up reply actions
Scott Rolen would make a Pro Bowl caliber TE
until he played the Ravens in week 5 and broke a clavicle and was out for the rest of the season.
I think Heisey could play a decent Safety, too.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Nov 11, 2011 12:04 PM EST up reply actions
I think Bruce has the makings of a good QB
by Charlie Scrabbles on Nov 11, 2011 12:10 PM EST up reply actions
But yeah
Stubbs at WR is the correct answer.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Nov 11, 2011 12:10 PM EST up reply actions
Scott Rolen perfect for PUP
by Brian B on Nov 11, 2011 8:48 PM EST via mobile up reply actions 2 recs
Cueto at kicker
Respect my authoritah!
by BigBadBruce on Nov 11, 2011 12:31 PM EST up reply actions 10 recs
Arroyo and Leake are good at holding
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Nov 11, 2011 1:32 PM EST up reply actions
If you don't think The Golum would make a sexy cheerleader...
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Nov 11, 2011 2:34 PM EST up reply actions
I don't think anyone wants me to put my fantasies into print
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
oooh...JCH Reds slash fiction?
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
/johnu1'd
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Nov 11, 2011 12:05 PM EST up reply actions
Nah, too coherent.
Wear something sexy to my funeral.
by Pops Daniels on Nov 11, 2011 12:08 PM EST up reply actions
I'll get the gas... you bring the matches.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Nov 11, 2011 11:54 AM EST up reply actions
On the reals
If Reyes really is going to the Marlins, does Hanley move over to 3B or get traded? It might finally be time for that not to be a joke.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Nov 11, 2011 12:13 PM EST reply actions
moves to third
marlins have said he’s not going to any other team and that he’s their centerpiece no matter what
You were just a rich girl only having fun. Your worn out dresses brought stares from everyone. Hey little rich girl, where did you go wrong?
I thought a lot of the impetus was for them to play together.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Nov 11, 2011 12:14 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah
They are BFFs. Hanley will move to 3B I would imagine.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Nov 11, 2011 12:18 PM EST up reply actions
You're our Marlins correspondent
That sounds right. I was just hoping things could get interesting if they still thought he was toxic in the clubhouse. But I guess that’s the point of Ozzie.
They’re really doing things down there in Miami.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Nov 11, 2011 1:24 PM EST up reply actions
In "other news" of things that probably interest me only
Bursaspor, one of the better Turkish soccer teams, is building a new stadium. It’s going to be shaped like a giant crocodile.
The first thing I thought of was “”http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/entries/icons/original/000/000/175/Bedclown.jpg?1240763850" >Can’t sleep. Clown will eat me."
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
looks like an anaconda
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Don't want none unless you got buns, hon.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Nov 11, 2011 2:36 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I hope it has a loudly ticking clock in it
Is there a mod so powerful he can ban himself?
by andromache on Nov 11, 2011 12:24 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
:-D
And that their arch-rival signs a dude named Roofio.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Nov 11, 2011 12:24 PM EST up reply actions
That name is a lot more unsettling now
that I can imagine drunk fratboys chanting it.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Nov 11, 2011 1:26 PM EST up reply actions
it gets better.
The fan club has randomly taken on Texas-themed imagery to support their club. Which leads to masterful MSPaint works like:
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Nov 11, 2011 12:29 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
That's amazing
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
It's 1 louder
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
This is mean. I am now sad.
I mean, nobody reads tags, right?
by the finest muffins on Nov 11, 2011 12:38 PM EST reply actions
Whereas every time Brendan sneezes, a n00b gets a rec
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
And now for real honest for real rumor-mongering
The A’s need position players and might be willing to trade Brett Anderson, Trevor Cahill, or Gio Gonzalez. Do we want any of them?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Nov 11, 2011 12:54 PM EST reply actions
If Brett Anderson could stay healthy, I'd loooove to have him
but I’m just not sold. Gio has pitched over his head, so I guess Cahill would be the one I’d go for, but I’m not sure what I’d give up.
How’s that for hard hitting analysis?
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
Just about as good as a Judge Judy .gif
by Charlie Scrabbles on Nov 11, 2011 1:00 PM EST up reply actions
Don't listen to him, Chuck
Listen to the voices in your head. Matches is just another word for “happy fun sticks”!
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Cahill's groundballing ways would be sweet in GABP.
And he’s about to hit arb, and the As are cheap, and the narrative is that As pitchers are fool’s gold because of the park, but his aforementioned groundballing ways would negate that somewhat, and a move to the NL would help a bit, and he’s very young, and he’s a good bet to eat a lot of innings, so I think he’d be the best value purchase.
I also think, while not a #1/2 guy, he’s easily a solid #3 who can throw 200 IP, which would help this rotation tremendously.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
Which one of our #3 pitchers should we trade to acquire a #3 pitcher?
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Nov 11, 2011 2:38 PM EST up reply actions
two of them!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Nov 11, 2011 3:00 PM EST up reply actions
You are assuming we have multiple #3 pitchers.
Cueto-2
Leake-3
Everyone else is a 4/5/6.
It feels so nice to be back to normal
"Everyone else is a 4/5/6."
Quit describing Ohio women!
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Nov 11, 2011 5:21 PM EST up reply actions
Dallas Braden! He threw a no-hitter
and while we’re at it, see if the Reds can get Rosales back, they need a veteran shortstop.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Rosy might be available
He’s listed as arb-eligible and a non-tender candidate by MLB Trade Rumors. And he’s bargain-priced. His projected salary is lower than Janish’s!
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
then again
MLB Trade Rumors says Jamey Carroll is about to sign a multi-year deal with an unknown team. Maybe it’s us!
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Well, RR, I hope you're happy.
Chuck’s little “rumor” has reached the Fay
It feels so nice to be back to normal
by nycredsfan on Nov 11, 2011 1:19 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
bahahah Scrabbles has indirectly gotten teh Fya involved
@johnfayman:
RT @tylerjkearns @johnfayman any truth to this Kershaw rumor? //define rumor
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
This is awesome.
But, it wants me to go on a Boehner crying tirade again.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Nov 11, 2011 1:23 PM EST up reply actions
What about Votto for Kershaw straight up?
I’m still not on the trade Joey tip, but since we’re in fantasyland…. would you?
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Nov 11, 2011 2:04 PM EST reply actions
yes, yes I would.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Nov 11, 2011 3:03 PM EST up reply actions
if we didn't have Yonder, I wouldn't.
We do, so I would.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Nov 11, 2011 3:14 PM EST up reply actions
this
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Nov 11, 2011 5:21 PM EST up reply actions
I probably would anyway.
We got Grandal and Meso who can switch off to save their knees and keep them both.
by Brian B on Nov 11, 2011 8:57 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Just wait until the mods' online swimsuit calendar debuts next month
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
dibs on January!
My hat matches my speedo!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Nov 11, 2011 3:04 PM EST up reply actions
The joke works,
because we have freakin’ 12 of them.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Nov 12, 2011 8:03 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Shit, it got me to come back for a moment.
by Brian B on Nov 11, 2011 8:58 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Fuck you, Chuckles.
Here’s a great joke:
Your family have all been killed in an accident.
I’ll tell you whether or not I’m kidding after a while. Then it will be funny.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
by PeteyHendrix on Nov 11, 2011 2:24 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
somebody's got a case of the takes-things-too-seriouslys
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
I LOL'd
But I’m drinking on a train
by Brian B on Nov 11, 2011 8:59 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
This should have been a FanShot™.
Front page, really?
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
If you don't like it
you can skip it.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Nov 11, 2011 3:07 PM EST up reply actions
i skipped it for a day
Then got bored at work today. How many recs does this have?
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
by Ewok on Nov 12, 2011 10:43 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
ACTUAL trade rumor action:
Wandy Rodriguez is available.
Says Leatherpants.
He’s pricy, at $11 million for 2012 and a $13 million player option for 2013. He’ll be 33. He’s thrown over 910 innings in the last 5 years with an ERA+ of 113, always with a WHIP less than 1.320.
Seems too expensive, especially when you add that he’d likely cost us Bailey and Yonder.
A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart
yeahhh
not this.
Although, it would prevent the 3 games a year where we have to bench Jay Bruce vs. the ’Stros.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Nov 11, 2011 3:06 PM EST up reply actions
If Wade asks for Bailey and Yonder for Wandy
I think I officially nominate him for worst GM in baseball.
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
And what if Jocketty accepts that offer?
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Change the conversation, genius
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Nov 11, 2011 8:15 PM EST reply actions
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