Whatever Series Game 2: Rangers @ Cardinals (Open thread)
TEX @ STL (Cardinals lead 1-0)
8:05pm, Busch Stadium
FOX
As JCH mentioned earlier today in his interview with Johnny Bench - the first-ever (I'm pretty sure) interview of a Reds Hall of Famer this site - Tim Wisecup of Columbus will be throwing out tonight's first pitch. Johnny Bench will be his ceremonial battery mate.
As for the game itself, there's almost an air of inevitability in my mind in re: the Cardinals. Both of these teams seem to know their roles a little too well, especially with the Rangers playing runners up last season. Someone - or someTHING - will have to disrupt dramaturgical forces working in favor of the Cardinals.
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Anyone up for some dead ruthless dictator humor?

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 7:23 PM EDT reply actions 4 recs
or, if you prefer

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 7:37 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
it was pretty easy to do
when you had Tom Brady as your “backup.”
What would’ve been totally sweet is if in the Week 1 simulated game they stuck us with, I could have started Brady and his 50 pts instead of Vick!
Yay Autodraft!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 7:59 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm not complaining being on the other side of it, honestly
Pleasure doing business with ya, KMiB
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Oct 20, 2011 8:08 PM EDT up reply actions
word
I apparently drafted the QBs, you drafted all the good RBs.
Comparative advantage! Gray would be so proud!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 8:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Red Menace drafted all of the Chargers...
(still don’t get that one)
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Oct 20, 2011 8:14 PM EDT up reply actions
He mentioned that
last time I saw him. He seemed pretty pleased with himself.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Oct 20, 2011 8:15 PM EDT up reply actions
They put up a hell of a fight last week.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 8:17 PM EDT up reply actions
If I'd have done it myself
I obviously would’ve opted for Bookman Old Style…easily the class of the font world.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 8:05 PM EDT up reply actions
i would've made it comic sans
and everyone’s heads would have exploded
by 'tHan on Oct 20, 2011 8:06 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
lost in all of this,
back in 1969, ol’ Mu’ammar was quite the looker:

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I think he could have been good
if he wasn’t so crazy and bad.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Oct 20, 2011 8:14 PM EDT up reply actions
it's an interesting thing,
he basically did what you and your college buddies would do if you were given the keys to a country one day. Assuming your college buddies were the type to torture kittens and the like.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I got out of the shower this morning
and NBC had a special report announcing the rumors of his death. They showed that picture of his mangled corpse in the back of the truck. I didn’t need any coffee after that. Whoof.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Oct 20, 2011 8:13 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm just pretty damn ecstatic that a guy like that got taken down, and the US wasn't responsible.
Good for Libya, if that’s what they wanted.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 8:16 PM EDT up reply actions
No doubt
For better or worse, at least the Arab Spring is inspiring.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Oct 20, 2011 8:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Indeed.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 8:19 PM EDT up reply actions
The only important things on tv tonight are Community, The Office, and Parks and Rec.
Oh, how could I forget about It’s Always Sunny and The League?
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
Community and The Office are reruns
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Oct 20, 2011 8:08 PM EDT up reply actions
bastards... I just found out.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Oct 20, 2011 8:09 PM EDT up reply actions
that's terrible news
better news: an already crowded night of shows gets even more crowded next thursday with the return of beavis & butt-head!
Whaaattttt
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Oct 20, 2011 8:11 PM EDT up reply actions
yesssssssss!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 8:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Time to dust off my Skull and Death Rock t-shirts!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 8:19 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh no!
Parks and Rec is too! NOOOOOOO
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Oct 20, 2011 8:33 PM EDT up reply actions
Guess I'll have to watch friggin baseball
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Oct 20, 2011 8:33 PM EDT up reply actions
I want to cry right now.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Oct 20, 2011 8:34 PM EDT up reply actions
i'll probably continue to watch whitney
however, it’s in my list of disappointments as far as new shows go.
also there, suburgatory and up all night
I thought Up All Night wouldn't be horrible
I think Will Arnett is cursed in anything other than Arrested Development
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Oct 20, 2011 8:15 PM EDT up reply actions
it's not horrible, it's just not very good
we would have been better off if he’d joined the cast of the office
Really?
I didn’t even make it to the first commercial break the one time I watched Whitney. I can’t believe it hasn’t been cancelled yet.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Oct 20, 2011 8:16 PM EDT up reply actions
it's pretty bad
the laugh tracks really stick out after watching all the shows before it without laugh tracks
...and at the really bad jokes.
There’s nothing more obtrusive than an obtrusive laugh track after a lame ass joke.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Oct 20, 2011 8:18 PM EDT up reply actions
i can't disagree with you
whitney is pretty terrible
but hey, i made it through a whole season of outsourced, i can make it through whitney
I had to stop watching outsourced. i tried really hard to like it.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Oct 20, 2011 8:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Damn, son
You can watch just about anything, huh? I was personally offended by Outsourced.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Oct 20, 2011 8:21 PM EDT up reply actions
i'll watch pretty much any sitcom
notable exceptions were: my wife & kids, according to jim and everybody loves raymond
According to Jim is one of the worst shows of all time
And you forgot The King of Queens
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Oct 20, 2011 8:30 PM EDT up reply actions
Worst show of all time?
Yes, Dear.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Oct 20, 2011 8:31 PM EDT up reply actions
Yes, exactly.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 8:31 PM EDT up reply actions
Seriously, King of Queens?
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Oct 20, 2011 8:32 PM EDT up reply actions
I don't get the appeal of Kevin James
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Oct 20, 2011 8:34 PM EDT up reply actions
funny, energetic fat guy.
They all have their appeal, and their shelf-life.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 8:39 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm with BeeK
He may be energetic and fat, but he’s not funny at all.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Oct 20, 2011 9:14 PM EDT up reply actions
king of queens wasn't great, but it was nowhere near that level of bad
frank costanza was pretty funny
I'm okay with him
Except that the character he was playing was Frank Costanza, and the show wasn’t Seinfeld
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
it recently occurred to me that outside of seinfeld, i really don't like jason alexander
he was the last holdout of the main cast that i considered myself a fan of. to me, seinfeld is the best & funniest show of all time (narrowly edging the simpsons). the cast worked great playing those characters & working off of each other. however, individually they are all pretty bad.
absolutely
he’s the only one that came out of Seinfeld to something, unless you include Patrick Warburton.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Oct 21, 2011 10:06 AM EDT up reply actions
I watched the first few minutes of Harry's Law the other night
Jason Alexander is introduced to Kathy Bates as a potential client. He’s basically doing a modified Costanza and it doesn’t work. I think he and Richards are too strongly identified with their Seinfeld characters to do anything else.
I see Michael Richards
and think Stanley Spedowski, myself.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Oct 21, 2011 10:06 AM EDT up reply actions
i bought the weird al show on dvd this week
cameron & i started watching it last night. we’re two episodes in so far.
after we finish it i’m going to let her watch UHF
UHF is one of the most underrated movies of all time!
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Oct 22, 2011 12:37 AM EDT up reply actions
alexander played a client of franklin & bash last season too! he's been typecast
he is way too over they top theatrical with every character he plays that isn’t george. he acts on television like he would on broadway & it just doesn’t work.
I think this is exactly right.
Everytime I see George (I refuse to call him Jason Alexander) he is playing his part. I can’t take him seriously. He was my favorite character in Seinfeld so it probably ruins it for me.
You had me at meat tornado. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Oct 21, 2011 10:36 AM EDT up reply actions
do you need a new tattoo?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Oct 22, 2011 12:37 AM EDT up reply actions
I agree on the offensiveness of that show
But I’ll still argue that it was funnier than it got credit for.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Oct 20, 2011 8:28 PM EDT up reply actions
I still can't tell if I'm absurdly attracted to her
or hideously repulsed.
It’s weird, I know.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 8:18 PM EDT up reply actions
my point exactly!
she’s gross and rather attractive!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 8:20 PM EDT up reply actions
I would do bad things to her
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Oct 20, 2011 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions
she's hot though
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Oct 20, 2011 10:26 PM EDT up reply actions
So since we're not talking about baseball
I have one hell of a fantasy football dilemma. I have Vick and Newton. My WRs are M Williams, B Lloyd, and M Thomas……the worst core ever. My RBs are Mendenhall and F-Jax.
Thinking of trade Vick to the last place team who has AJ Green, Colston, R Wayne, P Harvin, and N Washington at WR and Gore, C Johnson, and D Thomas at RB. Matt Ryan is his QB. Given the depth on his team its ridiculous he’s in last.
Who do you think are the best 2 WRs in that group?
I am thinking about offering Vick + waiver filler for Green, Colston, and D Thomas. Yahoo! projects the trade at like -5.80 pts for me mainly because I think they WAY underate Green and Cam.
What would you do?
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Oct 20, 2011 8:41 PM EDT reply actions
this week?
Vick’s on a bye, so he’d be trading a big chunk of his key players (while in last) on a week where he can’t even get a single point of production from the trade.
Also, AJ’s the number 6 overall WR in the game, and Vick’s the number 7 QB. How big is your league that a QB like Vick is worth more than a receiver as productive as AJ (not to mention how good Colston’s been.)
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 8:45 PM EDT up reply actions
12-teamer plus I think he is of the opinion AJ is a little fluky, and Vick carried him to the 2nd last year
I think AJ is legit and love Cam and Green’s playoff schedule.
Even if you could get AJ, Wayne, and D Thomas would you do it? After this trade I would be pretty much all in on rookies. I am currently in 6th at 3-3
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Oct 20, 2011 8:52 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh, hell yeah I'd do it if I were you.
Though I’m still not sold on Newton yet. Since you’ll be dropping players to pick up the extra 2 spots, it might be hard to find another decent, veteran QB (like a Hasselbeck, Flacco, etc) to have as a spot-start alternative down the stretch.
I’d do it for AJ/Wayne, if I were you, and then instead of picking up Thomas, I’d use that roster spot for a solid backup QB (I say this because in my 12 team league, we start 9 positions w/ a 5 man bench…if you’ve got the roster space, sure, take Thomas too.)
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 8:59 PM EDT up reply actions
I picked up Tebow so I really need to cut down the QB roster spots
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Oct 20, 2011 9:00 PM EDT up reply actions
I fucking hate chris Carpenter and hope he gets a malaria while exploiting the rainforest in Brazil
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Oct 20, 2011 8:59 PM EDT reply actions 4 recs
guy at work not a ball fan, says hey how'd you like the game last night?
said it stunk (even though it was a good game). went on a rant hating Carpenter, larussa, and the cardinals. funking chris carpenter. also, looks like a got a demotion over it.
by Howie Feltersnatch on Oct 20, 2011 9:17 PM EDT up reply actions
You got demoted for trashed the Cards?
Harsh.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Oct 20, 2011 9:21 PM EDT up reply actions
its a good demotion
same pay, less responsibility.
by Howie Feltersnatch on Oct 20, 2011 9:24 PM EDT up reply actions
Ahhh
I got the opposite of one of those recently. Marginally better pay, twice the responsibility.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Oct 20, 2011 9:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Dumb
That’s what I call it.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Oct 20, 2011 9:10 PM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
It's this kind of intellegent analysis that drove me to make my first comment here, suggesting the Reds sign Orlando Cabrera in 2009.
And it’s this kind of humor that’s getting my 10,000th comment.
Recca-recca hi recca-hiney-ho!.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 9:16 PM EDT up reply actions
yep, Andrus can ball.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 9:30 PM EDT up reply actions
OK, my new Unofficial Rumor, sponsored by Cy Schourek Industries, LLC
Trade Yonder and Travis Wood to the Rays for Shields, sign David DeJesus to be the LH portion of a LF platoon (w/Heisey), stand up, flex, piss on a Filthy Cards shirsey, celebrate 2012 NL Central division championship!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 9:36 PM EDT reply actions
Oh really?
I heard it was T(Big)Wood, Yonder and Homer for Shields and Longoria. And We were going to sign CC after he opts out.
Cingrani for 2012 Closer!
did TheJesus only take a one-year deal last year?
I’d love him in LF, even with his bad season last year.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I believe they have an option (4.5 million) which they're expected to decline.
But yeah, dude had a terrible BABIP relative to his career numbers, even taking into account the damn good August he had.
I think he’d be a perfect hitter for GABP, and just the right compliment to Heisey as the 3.5 OF.
Of course, that’s provided Yonder’s traded for a stud SP or Hanley/Yunel.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 9:57 PM EDT up reply actions
nope, no option.
He’s a FA currently.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 9:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Our 2012 LFer is Quentin and we also get Shields for the rotation
Make it down
@DavefrmLville.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Oct 20, 2011 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions
well, watching the Rangers swing and miss against Jaime Garcia
makes me feel a ton better about how bad the Reds have looked against him…
and now that all makes me feel worse, since I just remembered we’ll have to face him for the next few years, too…damn.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 9:49 PM EDT reply actions
stupid looking swings
and of course on the opposite side, rather than the bullpen to come back to earth, its Jaime pitching a gem after faring pretty bad in the post season so far 
by Howie Feltersnatch on Oct 20, 2011 9:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Allen Craig is Billy Hatchering the Rangers.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 10:07 PM EDT reply actions
sometimes i wish i had two first names
by Howie Feltersnatch on Oct 20, 2011 10:07 PM EDT reply actions
um, didn't we see this exact thing yesterday???
"To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other." - Jack Handey
this isn't going to be another one-run game, is it?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
It's just moving Walt's feet a little closer to the fire each game
Or at least that’s the only productive way to look at it.
There’s the NL Central angle, where the Cardinals make World Series without their ace starter while the Reds did next to nothing in the offseason and at the deadline to defend their division title.
And then there’s the “they can win one without me, I better prove I can win won without them” angle.
I don’t see Jocketty shaking that off and continuing to tinker around the margins.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Every office I've been in, there has been a guy with weird scars that he needs to explain to you—'it was one of those old Xerox machines, with a lot of razors in it'... or a pale person with a novel of supernatural erotica that keeps getting left on the printer. Major League lineups need those guys, too." - David Roth
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Oct 20, 2011 10:35 PM EDT up reply actions
kcuF
.snigram eht dnuora…
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Every office I've been in, there has been a guy with weird scars that he needs to explain to you—'it was one of those old Xerox machines, with a lot of razors in it'... or a pale person with a novel of supernatural erotica that keeps getting left on the printer. Major League lineups need those guys, too." - David Roth
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Oct 20, 2011 10:42 PM EDT up reply actions
i've got no doubt in my mind
BP makes that play.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 10:31 PM EDT reply actions
Rhodes vs. Hamilton
Battle of the former Reds.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I know he's a Filthy Card right now
but here comes the Colossus…

and I’m not quite sure how to root against him right now.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 10:50 PM EDT reply actions
HEYY!!
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 10:52 PM EDT up reply actions
This would be an ugly extra-innings game
There has to be a downside to the bullpen micromanagement, though I guess Westbrook is hanging back as long reliever.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Every office I've been in, there has been a guy with weird scars that he needs to explain to you—'it was one of those old Xerox machines, with a lot of razors in it'... or a pale person with a novel of supernatural erotica that keeps getting left on the printer. Major League lineups need those guys, too." - David Roth
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Oct 20, 2011 11:02 PM EDT reply actions
ugh

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 11:03 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
If Feliz blows the save against Molina, Punto, and Schumaker...
God hates us
What's your spaghetti policy?
No, that was just the fallout from the Orlando Cabrera Effect
What's your spaghetti policy?
by DannyGraves on Oct 20, 2011 11:07 PM EDT up reply actions
There's a great thing in NotGraphs about how God is a Cards fan
because, after all, how else could you explain the Cubs?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Oct 20, 2011 11:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Well, that only explains that he is a fan of baseball.
What's your spaghetti policy?
by DannyGraves on Oct 20, 2011 11:28 PM EDT up reply actions
Nick Punto is the second coming of Aaron Miles
and for some damn reason, he’s the one who scares me the most in this situation.
Fuckin’ Cards.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 11:05 PM EDT reply actions
well, it's another one-run game
But not the way it looked like it was going to be earlier.
If it’s true that chance determines who wins one-run games, these teams are evenly matched.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Yeah Rangers.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Oct 20, 2011 11:13 PM EDT reply actions 5 recs
Gerald Laird is trending
He doesn’t even play
by Ram27 on Oct 20, 2011 11:19 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs































