A Clinchmas Story

by ZJiff30 on Sep 29, 2010 12:58 AM EDT

Hey, I wrote this poem as I was processing the unbelievable fact that these Cincinnati Reds are going to be playing postseason baseball for the first time since 1995. All the pain of being a Reds fan is lessened tonight, and this is a poem of celebration. Enjoy.

Twas the night that we clinched, and all through the house
not a creature was stirring (’cept Hunter Pence, that louse)
All the kids and the grownups at GABP
were waiting to see what the inning would be.

When up to the plate strode the mighty Jay Bruce.
And right in that moment, my mind saw the news.
The ’Stros brought a lefty, but Jay Bruce just smirked,
Stepped in to the box, and he went straight to work.

He swung the bat hard, so fast and so quick
That I knew in a moment in the stands it would stick.
He raised both his arms and he ran with a smile
And Joy rose in Cincy that had been gone for a while.

Marty was happy, and so was son Thom.
Even Jim Day and Pic were enjoying that bomb!
The Fireworks, how bright! The crowd, O how Merry!
For such a great season, an appropriate cherry.

So thanks Aaron and Bronson, Brandon and Scott.
Thanks Orlando and Joey, the whole stinking lot!
And I heard them exclaim as they rode out of sight
“Merry Clinchmas to all, and to all a Reds' night!

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Comments

I rec'd this last night and I'll rec it again.

I wish posts could go green.

Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans

by Farneyismycopilot on Sep 29, 2010 10:19 AM EDT reply actions

same here

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71

by btcoop71 on Sep 29, 2010 10:36 AM EDT up reply actions

A fitting ending-

To a great season…Now, we can get our rotation just how we want it, and rest a few guys until the playoffs. We would still like to get the 2nd best record, and home field advantage. We also need to go ahead and name Chapman our closer. I hope we play Atlanta…GO REDS!

"You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't"

by iam4ukintn on Sep 29, 2010 10:54 AM EDT reply actions

I'd just as soon play the Phillies in the first round

It’s best-of-five, so you only have to beat them three times.

When you come to the fork in the road, take it.

by poojols on Sep 29, 2010 11:18 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions

Lemme know if I got this wrong:

1. Philadelphia-x 94-64 GB: – GR: 4
2. San Francisco 89-68 GB 4.5 GR: 5
3. Atlanta 89-69 GB 5.0 GR: 4
4. Cincinnati-x 88-69 GB 5.5 GR: 5
5. San Diego 87-70 GB 6.5 GR: 5
6. Colorado 83-74 GB 10.5 GR: 5

Colorado was eliminated last night, by my list. 2-5 are amazingly close.

P.S. I assume that was the first ever walkoff home run to clinch a playoff spot done on the first pitch of the inning?

by MatthewH on Sep 29, 2010 11:13 AM EDT reply actions

We are now Padres fans, folks!

If they can sweep the Giants (and the Reds can win the same number of their remaining games), the Reds could end up with the 2nd seed, or at the very least, not face the Phillies in the first round because the Wild Card comes from the West.

Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Sep 29, 2010 11:22 AM EDT up reply actions

Poojols brings up a good point

Yeah, the Phillies are tough to beat in a five game series, but you do only have to beat them three times.

by Brendanukkah on Sep 29, 2010 2:17 PM EDT up reply actions

That's how the Rockies did it in '07.

And the Phillies haven’t lost an NL playoff series since.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Sep 29, 2010 2:38 PM EDT up reply actions

and then you get to laugh in phillies fan faces

totally worth it.

"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander

by Cy Schourek on Sep 30, 2010 5:00 AM EDT up reply actions

I thought they were Phillies phans phaces?

Phuck.

Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans

by Farneyismycopilot on Sep 30, 2010 11:20 AM EDT up reply actions

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

this is fun guys

A self-indulgent pseudo-intellectual

by UncleWeez on Sep 29, 2010 11:29 AM EDT reply actions

so i bought two nlcs game 3 tix today ...

do they charge me right away and refund if they reds don’t make it, or are they charged to my card once the game is assured to happen?

"And a high fly ball to center field. He hit it a ton. And the 2010 National League Central Division Champs are the Cincinnati Reds!"

by joshuar9476 on Sep 29, 2010 11:31 AM EDT reply actions

the former

Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Sep 29, 2010 11:32 AM EDT up reply actions

thanks ... i just got my email telling me all the info

"And a high fly ball to center field. He hit it a ton. And the 2010 National League Central Division Champs are the Cincinnati Reds!"

by joshuar9476 on Sep 29, 2010 11:45 AM EDT up reply actions

From @CincinnatiReds

Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Sep 29, 2010 11:51 AM EDT reply actions

hey Z

you should that to Bardball and see if they will post it.

2010 Central Division Champions, Your Cincinnati Reds!!!!!!!!!!!

by Caleb on Sep 29, 2010 5:28 PM EDT reply actions

They did! I can't believe it!

I wrote the thing in like 10 minutes that night, and now it’s spreading across teh interwebz. Crazy!

"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK

by ZJiff30 on Sep 30, 2010 11:48 PM EDT up reply actions

I linked it on my facebook and it got one comment but about 12 of my friends "shared" it.

It was actually pretty damn cool to see.

Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans

by Farneyismycopilot on Oct 1, 2010 12:33 AM EDT up reply actions

That's pretty damn good for a 10-minute poem.

Excellent meter and only one slightly twisted sentence to make a rhyme work. Plus, it’s just awesome in all other ways! Congratulations on your interwebz fame, ZJiff.

by the finest muffins on Oct 1, 2010 9:12 AM EDT up reply actions

You did good work son

And good work is always well received.

"just a couple of weeks ago a first year student in my program told me i was charming and charismatic, it was a guy, but the point still stands.: -- justin007000

by jch24 on Oct 4, 2010 1:27 AM EDT up reply actions