Red Reposter EXPOSE: Are the Cincinnati Reds upsetting the natural order by playing TOO well?
(8 gms!)
Chapman gets his first win
Felicitaciones, Aroldis! But now we have to figure out how to say "wins are a weak indicator of individual player value" in Spanish. It was another corker of a performance. Seeing Chapman two nights in a row has Reds fans giddy and only vaguely apprehensive. On using the Cubandolero again, Dusty sez, "We didn’t have much of a choice. I figured we’d take our shot right then and hopefully score." There's no indication the Reds are treating Chapman with anything but kid - or at the very least adolescent - gloves, as they did with Mike Leake (who is arguably much less of an injury risk). If his mechanics and training prep are sound, and he's limited to 10-15 pitch outings, we can all rest fairly easy and bask in the heat. Still, with Rhodes ailing and Bray rocky, it might be worth getting another lefty in the pen. Danny Ray Herrera has been much maligned lately, but there's a clear need right now for a LOOGy for medium leverage situations, helping to preserve Rhodes and Chappy.
Chapman hits 103 mph
If you don't believe me, look up at that fake-looking number. Or read this real quote from the Columbus Dispatch, which is a newspaper serving Ohio's state capital:
103 mph.
Jay Bruce has a pain near his ribs that will "side"-line him for at least a few days
This is unhappy, vaguely Biblical news. If it's an oblique, it's nothing with which to mess around. Did Jim Edmonds supposed hitting pointers cause Bruce to develop an Edmonds-style ailment? There's no reason not to engage in wild paranoiac speculation.
The master has become... the master
Yonder Alonso, prostrated prospect, has come to study the ways of Vottotola Joe-meini. No one is pretending Yonder isn't permanently blocked at first, but he brings to the expanded roster his well-honed hitting approach and plate vision. I could even see him spelling Votto a few times down the stretch. I just hope this apprenticeship doesn't take a turn toward creepy stalkerism: "Joey's the best player there is here, and I think he's the best player in the league," Alonso said. "Whatever he needs me to do, I'll be here for him. I'm just going to learn as much as possible from him. I'll be his shadow." On the real though, Alonso seems like a stand-up guy - I'm still holding out the irrational hope that the Reds will find a way to keep him.
Edmonds wants to come back somehow
"It’s getting there," he said. "It’s a serious issue. The swelling and the bleeding have gone down. But I’ve never had a pulled muscle. I didn’t know if it would be a week, two weeks on six weeks. I’m flying by the seat of my pants." I didn't realize there was bleeding involved. Edmonds has his share of detractors here, but I see no reason to cut him down. He's in pain, but would like to avoid a ragged ending to a brilliant career. However, this timetable is not helpful. If we're only looking at a few weeks of a Jim Edmonds who hasn't fully recovered, it seems worth it to give his roster spot to the likes of Wladimir Balentien or Daniel Dorn, rather than have to DFA someone to get another outfielder up.
What should Chapman's nickname be?
"MidWest Sports Fans" reminds us that the Cuban Missile is already taken by Alexei Ramirez. The Reposter has already posited its suggestions. I didn't like any of the alternatives listed here, but if we're intent on coming up with a moniker that's Cuba-centric, why are we trying to wedge in there the least appealing aspects of our shared history with the island? Bandoleros are cool as hell.
Details on the ticket lottery for Reds playoff games
I'm prepared to say this is no longer aspirational.
Further reading:
OMG! Reds with a Warhol-esque video of Chapman getting a haircut
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On Bruce Almighty
He will be gone for three days. Then He will come back to lead them.
When you come to the fork in the road, take it.
by poojols on Sep 2, 2010 11:50 AM EDT via mobile reply actions 1 recs
Exactly. On the 7th day (Or the 133rd game, whatever) he rested
And he viewed his 1st place team, and it was good.
Man, I hope y'all are right about Bruce. I'll be devastated if he's out for a while
Not because the team can’t go on without him, but because I so desperately want him to do well and contribute. My hope is he sits tomorrow with the lefty starting, then is back Saturday, or Sunday at the latest.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
I dont care what his
nickname is, just so long as we can all agree to refer to it as the Cuban Missle Crisis whenever Chapman warms up in the ’pen.
He called me a baboon, he thinks I'm his wife.
I think 'Cuban Missile' is taken (Alexei Ramirez)
…thank god, because I think it’s horroroso.
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
FSN did not seem to give a good god damn
when they classlessly pasted it across your television screens
He fixes the cable?
by Colin Auscapee on Sep 2, 2010 7:52 PM EDT up reply actions
Yep, that was pretty shitty.
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
Edmonds and blood
I think the bleeding that he is referring to is under the skin. A hematoma, if you will
When you come to the fork in the road, take it.
by poojols on Sep 2, 2010 12:06 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
If he's bleeding and as a hematoma, then he tore the muscle, he didn't strain it.
I’ve had both a muscle tear and a sprain. A tear just takes a little longer to heal.
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 12:10 PM EDT up reply actions
Like, say, 60 days?
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
60 days sounds about right, yes.
Now, If only I could think of a place to put a guy who will be injured for 60 days. . .
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 12:13 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Yeah
There should be a place were you could put a guy like that, then bring in a healthy guy to take his place. If only…
When you come to the fork in the road, take it.
by poojols on Sep 2, 2010 12:22 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Dean's List?
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:00 PM EDT up reply actions
Shopping list?
Franz Lihst?
When you come to the fork in the road, take it.
by poojols on Sep 2, 2010 1:07 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Will Leitch?
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:10 PM EDT up reply actions
Lisztomania?
You're never as bad as you look when you lose. You're never as good as you look when you win.
by JasperRed on Sep 2, 2010 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
thanks, now I have a guitar intro stuck in my head.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
yeah, that's the ticket!
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Sep 2, 2010 1:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Postseason ticket?
I Lovitz!
When you come to the fork in the road, take it.
by poojols on Sep 2, 2010 1:50 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions 5 recs
Common
We all know that Edmonds is having the same bleeding issues that Carpenter gets every month.
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
by crolfer on Sep 2, 2010 12:18 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
so you just insulted Edmonds and Carpenter by insinuating they are women?
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 2, 2010 12:20 PM EDT up reply actions
I wasn't insulting them.
Personally, I think women are pretty cool. I was simply stating something we all know is fact.
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
Especially when you let us touch you!
(not asking, just pointing out the way things work. Please tell your lawyer friend to back off!)
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
It's okay. On occasion, we like being touched.
Just the way things work, you know.
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh, I know
It’s the only thing that inspires me to be a socially acceptable human.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Look out, guys
Feminist jutsin is on teh porwl!
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Sep 2, 2010 1:07 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions 6 recs
red reporter
the only blog where misspellings elicit greenery
He fixes the cable?
by Colin Auscapee on Sep 2, 2010 10:56 PM EDT up reply actions
He's not the only one who misspells who elicits greenery

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Sep 2, 2010 11:01 PM EDT up reply actions
Paging Verka....
There's nothing you can type that I can't read... Unless it's illegible or insane...or both.
by Pops Daniels on Sep 2, 2010 12:56 PM EDT up reply actions
"La cantidad de juegos ganados es un peor indicador del valor individual de un jugador"
Tanzen!
by Verka Serduchka on Sep 2, 2010 2:58 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I like to finish all sentences with the word "jugador."
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
Any opportunistic pathogen suffers from bleeding at times. Its how they survive.
by LyotardFactory on Sep 2, 2010 12:56 PM EDT up reply actions
Well the jerk store called, they're running out of you
by LyotardFactory on Sep 2, 2010 1:07 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
oh yeah?
well i had sex with your wife!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 1:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Well the jerk store called, they're running out of you
by LyotardFactory on Sep 2, 2010 1:07 PM EDT up reply actions
today today today, I consider myself myself myself....
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:09 PM EDT up reply actions
oh yeah?
well i had sex with your wife!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 1:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Dude
His wife died in a Lyotard Factory fire.
Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
Come on man, that's a stretch
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:17 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Dude, your dance card must be ridiculous
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:15 PM EDT up reply actions
They still make baseball cards?
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions
Chuck does
but only of Laynce Nix. You should see his bedroom. Plastered in Nix parayphernaylya
Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Sep 2, 2010 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
you didnt seem so jealous last night
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 1:23 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Play the dozens!
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:27 PM EDT up reply actions
That's racist!
There's nothing you can type that I can't read... Unless it's illegible or insane...or both.
Yo Momma!
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions
That's maternist!
There's nothing you can type that I can't read... Unless it's illegible or insane...or both.
And modernist!
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:57 PM EDT up reply actions
y did you use such an obvious pun?
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Between smacking the Cards around and taking a beating from you guys...
… I think the Brewers players should get a share of the Reds playoff money.
8 Games is a sizeable lead for September 2nd. Here’s hoping the Reds make it stick and, even though their not my Brewers, I have a team to root FOR in the playoffs this year, instead of the usual teams I root against.
BCB free since 8/24/10 and happier for it.
by Ted Simmons Speed Camp on Sep 2, 2010 12:08 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Ted Simmons always looked high
When you come to the fork in the road, take it.
by poojols on Sep 2, 2010 12:12 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Thanks, Ted
I lived in Madison for 5 years and attended my share of games at Miller Park. I’ll always have a soft spot for the Brew Crew and their awesome fans, and I was ecstatic to see them make the playoffs a couple of years back.
But about that money thing-see, we’re going to have to pay Joey Votto a lot of cash pretty soon, and I really, REALLY want him to stay here. I think we’re going to have to keep that playoff cash, sorry.
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 12:12 PM EDT up reply actions
I lived in Sun Prairie.
Same damn difference. Get on East Washington Avenue and drive away from Capitol Square for a few miles and you’ll hit Sun Prairie.
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 12:19 PM EDT up reply actions
Ah, okay. Trust me, there is no good reason to go to Sun Prairie if you live on the West Side
And I highly recommend the Great Dane Brew Pub. There is one on Doty Street next to the Capitol, and one on Fish Hatchery Road just south of the Beltline.
A good sports bar on the west side is Babe’s. That’s just south of the Beltline off of Whitney Way on Schroeder Road.
Damn it. Now I really want a Crop Circle Wheat Beer and a Pub Burger from the Great Dane.
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 12:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Hey, I've eaten there twice!
Once downtown and once at Hilldale. I took my infamous date that I reported on RR there (Hilldale). Pub Burger huh? I’ll try it next time. I had the Mac n Cheese and itwas awesome.
There's one at Hilldale? That must be new.
The Pub Burger is topped with spinach and artichoke dip and cheese (because you know, it’s Wisconsin. Everything has cheese).
The Hilldale parking lot is the home of the twice-yearly Madison Bratfest. I’m ashamed to admit that I attended once and got a tour of the Oscar Meyer weinermobile.
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 12:32 PM EDT up reply actions
that sounds likean amazing burger
i love all of those things. must eat. it.
The Hilldale one seemed.. newish. Their beer selection sucks compared to the one downtown
Man
I wouldn’t be ashamed to admit I got a tour of the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
What's the famous-ish pizza place in Madison?
This team wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the caftans.
I don't know if this is what Andro is thinking of, but Paisans is awesome
It used to be downtown on Lake Street, but I think it’s over by Monona Terrace now. It’s an Italian restaurant, but their pizza is to die for.
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I just remember them having taco pizza, and other macaroni and cheese pizza, and grilled veggie pizza.
Caveat: I’ve never been there, the pizza was provided to me by others.
This team wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the caftans.
by andromache on Sep 2, 2010 2:26 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Ahh, the famous Mac 'n Cheese pizza!
I had forgotten about that! That’s from Ian’s Pizza on State Street.
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
really, still trying to get a date?
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 2, 2010 12:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Recommendation: a place that serves alcohol.
A few sips, a few nips, and a guilt-induced hummer.
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
i don't think you're jake's type...
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
Thanks Ted!
I appreciate your Brewers’ efforts. Then again, since game 30 you guys are a better team than the Cardinals.
That don't say much.
Unless it’s a whining contest.
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
how much do Cubs players get?
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 2, 2010 12:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Reportedly, $144MM too much.
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
by PeteyHendrix on Sep 2, 2010 6:36 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I say this...
But thanks for winning and losing the best possible games to help us into the playoffs
WYSIWIG
thanks Ted
great to have some Brewers fans with us and the Crew has been playing good ball lately (they had a better August than the Cards and Cubs I think).
I enjoy watching the Brewers play. That play at third last night wa sa good example. Even though the play endly badly, when Cairo danced around McGeeHee’s tag they were both smiling and laughing. Pretty good and talented group of guys on that team.
A Brewers fan!
Hope you’re enjoying Chris Dickerson. In case you need it, I officially bequeath this photo to you: 
Use it wisely. Use it well.
by the finest muffins on Sep 2, 2010 7:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Cut down a tree, and you'll go to hell.
And don’t forget what I’ve taught
When I’m back on the DL.
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
by PeteyHendrix on Sep 2, 2010 8:25 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
*slow clap
Well done, Mr. Hendrix. Well done.
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
did you see me on reds live?
i even started a “cardinals suck” chant and the producer glared at me. then Ash and i did a mini “O-H”..“I-O” to each other but you couldn’t hear that on TV.
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
by GrooveLeg on Sep 2, 2010 12:22 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
I recognized you that time!
THAT WAS AWLSOME!
"There is no such thing as an innocent Gatorade cooler."
by Ash on Sep 2, 2010 1:24 PM EDT up reply actions
I must admit
I’m a fan of “The Cubandolero.” Much better than Cuban Missile, even if that’s all he throws.
Here’s hopin’ Bruce Almighty is alright.
El Matador
@AroldisChapman.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Sep 2, 2010 10:08 PM EDT up reply actions
The Unbearable Lightness of Being Nyjer Morgan
This guy likes Morgan’s fire, but doesn’t like that it’s directed at fans.
The Nationals need fire. Nyjer Morgan plays baseball like his hair’s on fire. Sometimes, that’s a great thing, and I applaud him for taking 2nd and 3rd and trying to get the Nationals back into a 14-3 ballgame. There were points after that last night where it was not entirely inconceivable that the Nationals could win that ballgame. I think Steve Repsher said it best on Twitter: "There’s no mercy rule in baseball. Down 10? Try to be down 5." But the charging the mound last night wasn’t where this story ends, and the heel turn that came after was something straight out of a cable wrestling show. Being dragged off the field, Nyjer threw up his hands and yelled back at the taunting Marlins fans (yes, all six of them), and I was practically expecting him to do an X-Pac-esque pelvic thrusting taunt thereafter. That, moment, more than anything else that happened last night, Tuesday night, or last week, is what’s going to get Morgan in trouble.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Dibble on his his radio show this AM
compared Nyjer’s walking off the field with hands in the air and pounding his chest to a hockey fighter – taunting the crowd, yelling at the fans as he goes to the box. I mean, maybe in Slap Shot and with the likes of a Tie Domi or Sean Avery type sure but not most fights.
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
I agree with this assessment
My problem is not necessarily with Morgan’s actions, but by his attitude. Us Reds fans would be up in arms if Gomes DIDN’T charge the opposing pitcher after such deliberate plunkings, so that part is fine. My beef is with Morgan taunting the crowd afterwords.
And I use the term “crowd” loosely. I guess you can call 12 fans a “crowd”
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 12:36 PM EDT up reply actions
company, too
Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Sep 2, 2010 12:47 PM EDT up reply actions
but one is the loneliest number.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
For some reason, I feel the need to reply to this comment
Even though I have nothing to add.
I wonder if there’s a college study that shows how exposing my generation to Three’s Company set gender relations back approximately 715 years
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Sep 2, 2010 1:08 PM EDT up reply actions
The other side of this is that if (and more aptly when) Morgan gets suspended
Gaby Sanchez better be walking right alongside him. You can’t just truck a dude like that even if he is bumrushing your pitcher.
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:18 PM EDT up reply actions
I agree
But I still thoroughly enjoyed watching Morgan get clotheslined.
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 2:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Tell Alexei Ramirez he needs to get a new nickname.
When not lurking here, the sportsfrog is where I am.
by membengal on Sep 2, 2010 12:28 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Funny
I thought you would’ve gotten “BP Apologist” :-)
Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
I missed #8
Douche nozzle was missing as an option
Baseball statistics are like a girl in a bikini. They show a lot, but not everything.
by Howie Feltersnatch on Sep 2, 2010 2:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Gregg Doyle at CBS Sports wrote a nice piece about the Reds
I don’t have a link, but he’s tlaking about how the city deserves the Reds.
Here you go
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Um, why was Joe Morgan naked in the clubhouse?
I watched Leake in the Reds’ clubhouse for 20 seconds before the game Wednesday, and in those 20 seconds he slapped the naked ass of Reds executive and Hall of Famer Joe Morgan and playfully goosed a (dressed) teammate with a bat handle.
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 12:44 PM EDT up reply actions
Sure it was...
I’d do the same thing.
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
Haha, I wondered the same thing when I read that article
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
Why not?
When you come to the fork in the road, take it.
by poojols on Sep 2, 2010 1:13 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
He's going to be tutoring Drew Stubbs, remember,
and he’s starting with the fundamentals: this is how we shower.
is it Doyle or Doyel?
That said, why the hell is Castro with names like Lopez and Hatteberg?
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Boyle?
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
by PeteyHendrix on Sep 2, 2010 6:40 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
you should really start linking things
It’s not that hard
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
It is when I see the link in a different browser... I'm in a class!
Trying to only be distractedb y one website.
I'm just giving you a hard time
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Well, it's a good thing a hurricane is currently headed their way.
Yikes!
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 12:41 PM EDT up reply actions
but it's the size of California
Even if it doesn’t make landfall, there’s going to be a lot of wind and rain along the east coast.
I predict a lot of baseball won’t be played over Labor Day weekend.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Oil Companies: Where Safety and Environmental Awareness Go To Die
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:05 PM EDT up reply actions
This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen on KSR
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
I guess you had to be there
Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
If you know the context, it is brilliant
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
consider the source...
Another UofL bashing from ultradork Matt Jones…the douchebag lawyer who hung out at the Pitino/Sypher trial like a pervert hanging out at the park.
by laurelredsfan on Sep 2, 2010 2:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Not a UK fan I suppose.....
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
GO CARDS!!!
UK fans are the best at wearing tank tops and mullets….
by IndyCinciVille on Sep 2, 2010 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions
Completely agree.
"There is no such thing as an innocent Gatorade cooler."
by Ash on Sep 2, 2010 2:38 PM EDT up reply actions
That being said......

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
"dudes, i swiped this Crown Royal from my dad's liquor cabinet"
“can you believe he left it unlocked? we need to take a picture with it!”
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 2:43 PM EDT up reply actions
Let's try this again

"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
that pic never gets old
My 2 least favorite teams are both Cardinals…UahL and the LWB’s
Consume excrement and expire......
oddly enough....
Can’t stand 99.99% of UK fans, but will pull for the Cats in the SEC. Don’t ask me why….
by laurelredsfan on Sep 2, 2010 5:44 PM EDT up reply actions
I don't mind UK basketball as long as it doesn't affect UL
I’m with you on the fans…..’tHan is bearable in person though.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
'bearable in person'
I’ve yet to decide if that’s meant as a compliment or not!
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
if I didn't know him on the internet, I'd say not
but since I do know him on the internet, I’m gonna say huuuuge compliment
Considering how he acts on RR, it's a huge compliment :)
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Well, that could be said about most of y'all!
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
I'm pretty much the same
Unless I’m drinking heavily, then I’m worse.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
I'm pretty sure I'd hate all of you in real life just as much as I hate you in cyber-world :-)
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
Of course I didn't mean you, buddy! (or anyone!)
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
So far, I gotta say my two favorite nicknames that I've come up with (that might be shitty but whatever) are:
Chapter 11
Disc-Man
10-54 (police code for a possible dead body)
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:03 PM EDT reply actions
*three
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:04 PM EDT up reply actions
how about Mr. Pitchy?
or fastball guy
Dusty Baker said it was the first [triple play] he’d seen in person. When he was with the Dodgers, they hit into one, but he was in the bathroom.- C Trent
by The Crushinator on Sep 2, 2010 2:24 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Gotta be honest, I can't tell if you're fucking with me
but I like Mr. Pitchy for some reason.
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 3:06 PM EDT up reply actions
I believe this is what the experts call "being on a roll"
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 3:12 PM EDT up reply actions
I like mr. pitchy
thats what im going to call him
Dusty Baker said it was the first [triple play] he’d seen in person. When he was with the Dodgers, they hit into one, but he was in the bathroom.- C Trent
by The Crushinator on Sep 2, 2010 3:51 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm with you, Mr. Pitchy it is!
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:10 PM EDT up reply actions
Also, I'm currently in the process of starting a candle light vigil for Jay Bruce's side
We really need him for the playoff push.
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:07 PM EDT reply actions
As much as I detest the "Cuban Missile" nickname
I kinda like calling GABP the Bay of Flying Pigs.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Sep 2, 2010 1:09 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
And the Reds are now the Buena Vista Social Club
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:12 PM EDT up reply actions
boobs loves "cuban missile".
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
that is more interesting
than the nickname that one MLB,com writer gave it at the bgeining of the year, “the bat cave”
what's wrong with "Chapmania" a la Hulkamania
I’m sure we can all relate to those pump up speehces
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WHEN CHAPMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU, BROTHER
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Sep 2, 2010 10:05 PM EDT up reply actions
I gave my Cuban pal an assignment
Give me a nick name for Aroldis Chapman. He’s a Yankee fan and can’t believe the Reds got him instead of his elitist team.
Anyway, he came up with a couple of names.
1. El Calentador (the heater)
2. Lanzallama (the flame thrower)
That would be "the flamer"
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
by ChiDa on Sep 2, 2010 1:45 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
what about flaming llamas?
"Yeah, yeah, that's what we do in Cincinnati, we go first to third baby!"-Brandon Phillips.
now THAT's a nickname
the Flaming Llama
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
That doesn't look like a llama.
It does seem to be on fire, though
This team wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the caftans.
I agree, it's not the best drawing.
But it showed up when I GIS’d “flaming llama,” and its file name includes the word “llama.” So….
by the finest muffins on Sep 2, 2010 7:54 PM EDT up reply actions
The llamaness has burned away a bit.
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
if it weren't for the mouth, it would look like a lama
my neighbors used to have some llamas. they also had buffalo (which got loose a few times. that was fun. not.) and ostrich. interesting folks.
I think the Green color also hurts it a little, llama-wise.
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
it's the lack of ears
more than the mouth or the color that make it look un-llama like to me.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I lived next to a llama farm for a good chunk of hs
its not like I lived in the boonies, they just set up a llama farm in the suburbs.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
This alone makes me want The Flaming Llama to become the nickname
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
I can easily imagine that showing up in game threads
Still and all, I don’t think you can vote on a nickname. The best ones (at RR and in real life) assert themselves upon us.
I’ll probably refer to him as the Flaming Llama for a while, though. Do you think it should be pronounced ‘ya-ma’?
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
i was gonna post that with my flaming llama post ...
… i did a GIS and one was way too big and i thought this one would get removed too .. glad to see it has survived though
"Yeah, yeah, that's what we do in Cincinnati, we go first to third baby!"-Brandon Phillips.
Yeah, the other one was great.
Unquestionably a llama and unquestionably flaming. Which reminds me of this conversation (first minute and a half of this clip) from Sports Night.
Aroldis Chapman = El Llama Fumando?
by the finest muffins on Sep 2, 2010 10:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Been there - done that
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
some strange stuff comes up
when you image-google “flaming llama”.
Even with moderate safesearch, you get cheesecake shots from some overseas site. I can’t imagine why. (Well, I get it that “flaming llama” or “llama” are in the filename. I just don’t get why.)
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
Why is there a penis on fire on this blog?
If anything, I thought that would have happened after crolfer met Chris Carpenter at the game on Sunday.
Any ESPN Insiders?
On the front page, ESPN MLB has a triple crown tracker. Dan Szymborski, who I like, has Votto listed as a 2% chance at TC, while Pujols is a 7% chance. I’m not upset, just interested in why. If you got insider, can you give us a quick overview as to why? Is it just because Pujols is more likely to win HR (and therefore RBI)?
Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
He answered that in a BBTF thread
His response was essentially that Pujols’ ZiPS for the rest of the year is a bit higher than Votto’s.
by ken on Sep 2, 2010 1:38 PM EDT up reply actions
yeah, this
He’s going off of ZiPS projections, even though they’re clearly not going to be accurate :)
Because Pujols "has been there before" and is "more established" and therefore "knows how to win"
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
Seems like he might be the only one on that team right now
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions
Sports writers can be such lazy hacks
I bet he has no clue Joey’s a Virgo.
by Eastwindquinn on Sep 2, 2010 2:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Going 0-for-10 in the Astros series is a classy way to lose.
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
surely it's harder
to make up 12 points of BA than 2 HR, isn’t it?
Given that Gonzalez is right there, it doesn’t help Albert if Votto collapses (perished be the thought). 12 points of BA in September is pretty hard to make up.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
Except the leader's BA can drop, but the HR can only go up.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
yabbit
Gonzalez AND Votto would have to tank their BAs. And dropping BA in September is as hard as raising it.
OTOH, if you stop hitting homers for 2 weeks, it’s easy for someone to catch you.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
Really?
If Joey goes oh-for-10, his avg drops to .318. Pujols only needs to go 6 for 10 to top that. Seems realistic to me.
Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
That's not that volatile, it just means they are all really close to one another
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
Approaching 600 ABs, 10 can alter the BA by 7 points.
Given, the points we’re talking about are less than 1%..
common
you’re going to really use real math?
my argument is based on specious claims and ad hominem attacks, so it is impervious to real data.
jerk.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
by bbjones on Sep 2, 2010 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
RR at its best!
"There is no such thing as an innocent Gatorade cooler."
by Ash on Sep 2, 2010 2:09 PM EDT up reply actions
Essentially because as awesome as Joey Votto is, doing something better than Albert Pujols for a month is always hard because Albert Pujols is ridiculous.
Also, it’s a bit harder to make up HR right now because the competition for HR are greater HR hitters than some of the BA competition are great BA hitters. None of the HR competition are really having fluky good HR years, so they’re still tough even if they play at career HR norms. On the BA side, it’s easier for Pujols because he’s got the best predicted BA of anyone in baseball and some of the competition is way above expected BA here on out. Votto may be a real .325 hitter at this point, but there’s more uncertainty (I have Votto as 3 times more likely to win the BA title than Pujols)
Maybe I can put this more simply.
Joey Votto’s odds of leading the league in home runs are essentially the odds of him passing Pujols and Dunn and remaining at least tied with Reynolds in home runs. Pujols, Dunn, and Reynolds are simply having “normal” HR seasons. There’s no regression to the mean to really worry about with these guys for a month.
Albert Pujols’ odds of leading the league in BA are essentially the odds of him passing Votto, Prado, Castro, Infante, and Gonzalez. But while Votto might be a better HR hitter than the guys in front of him, we know that Pujols is almost certainly a better BA hitter than Prado, Castro, Infante, and Gonzalez, and possibly a better BA hitter than Votto. If everyone plays normally, Votto doesn’t make up HR ground. If everyone player normally, Pujols passes the non-Votto guys.
by D.Szymborski on Sep 2, 2010 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Excellent explanation
Thanks! I was hoping you would drop by.
In reality, what you are saying is, no one is going to win it, or at least, it is incredibly unlikely.
Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
Is there any particular reason why Phillips would want to rush back and play the Cardinals?
Joey Votto is my MVP.
You are referring to
Brandon Phillips aren’t you?
Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Sep 2, 2010 1:34 PM EDT up reply actions
ftfy
Is there any particular reason why Phillips would want to rush back andplayfight the Cardinals?
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
I chose the name Androidis 2010 for chappy.
It must be pretty obvious to everyone now that this guy is a real android. Human beings don’t:
1. Throw that hard
2. Look that good
3. Have that much charisma
4. and he hides his ability to speak all languages fluently quite well.
Androidis
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
by Madville on Sep 2, 2010 1:43 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
he is
the most interesting man in the world.
“I don’t always throw fastballs, but when I do, I throw them 103 mph.”
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
by bbjones on Sep 2, 2010 1:45 PM EDT up reply actions 13 recs
I hate this line of thinking.
And then there’s one more fundamental question, which NL MVP voters have to wrestle with every darned year: Is any player really more valuable than Sir Albert?
“Without Albert Pujols, the Cardinals are done — but you could say that every year,” one NL scout said. “So what you’ve got to decide is if anybody else has truly superseded him.”
That’s never a fun call to make. But if the Cardinals keep fading, it could turn out to be easier than usual. Or not.
Well, you take away Votto, and this year’s Reds are pretty garbage too, based on “clutch” (WPA) and overall value (WAR). The Reds are 72-61 without Votto and the Cardinals are 62-69 without Pujols based on WAR numbers or something. Without Pujols, the Cardinals would still win games with their 3 ace-ish pitchers. They win on the strength of pitching.
There are other players this could be said about, too.
Without Gonzalez, the Rockies are a losing team at home. Without Adrian Gonzalez, the Padres offense can’t score enough runs to win with that excellent pitching staff. Without Josh Hamilton, the Rangers are a lot less scary.
I figure, if you're going to use this ridiculous line of reasoning, you might as well pick the player essential to a playoff team, right?
This team wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the caftans.
I think the "what would the team be without him" argument is kinda flawed
You take any MVP candidate off of their team and said team is “done”. You can’t just replace MVP candidates for a season and still expect teams to be competitive.
And if you really want to emphasize the Value in MVP, just look at salaries and the argument is over.
by AB on Sep 2, 2010 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions
then there's A-Rod
Who won the MVP when the Rangers were in last place. Where would they be without him? Still in last place.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Hey, didn't realize Kearns is on the Yankees
now that all’s said and done, I’m happy for him. Come a long way from Louisville.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
He's from Lexington!
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
Around the corner from my old house!
He may have thrown an egg at my sister?
This team wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the caftans.
did it give her a concussion?
dude has a rifle arm.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions
It was in the leg, and it gave her a huge welt.
If it was him, it was pretty weak. She was running alone at night in the neighborhood, and a bunch of baseball dudes threw the egg from a car.
This team wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the caftans.
did she see his ears?
she could probably tell if it was him or not by the ears.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 2:32 PM EDT up reply actions 7 recs
Let's just go ahead and get this green.
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
Sounds like him and Dunn.
That must’ve been, what, 6,7 years ago?
by Gapper on Sep 2, 2010 2:39 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Haha, more like 12. She was in high school with Kearns at the time.
This team wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the caftans.
Lafayette! My mom went there.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Sep 2, 2010 3:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Maybe he tried to get in her pants and she turned him down
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
I bet he missed
When you come to the fork in the road, take it.
by poojols on Sep 2, 2010 2:38 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
He's played pretty well for the anks
Better than Berkman, who sucked, then was DL’ed.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
chapman nicknames...
i like them short and sweet. i can’t stand the cuban missile… doesn’t it hold a negative connotation? to me it’s in the same vein of naming somebody “flight 93” or “Kamikaze attack on pearl harbor”…
i came up with
El Joven (ho-ven) – the youngster
Juventud (hooven-tood) – youth
play on words because cuba is nicknamed “Isla de la Juventud” or island of youth.
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
I only like 'em if Hova stick for Bruce
which it wont.
My vote is for El Matador or Cubandolero.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
i think coco is also el matador, no?
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
no, pretty sure coco is coco
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
which is a really good nick name for him
because Justin pots excllent pictures of hot cocoa when he comes in to pitch
Does he pot them with fresh soil every time?
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 3:07 PM EDT up reply actions
And do they grow into hot cocoa trees?!?!
by the finest muffins on Sep 2, 2010 7:33 PM EDT up reply actions
With marshmallow blossoms?!?
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
Marshmallow bosoms? Where?!
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
this guy
could have used one of those.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/09/02/ap/strange/main6828237.shtml
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
bruce is "the deal" and "the boss"... i've never heard Hova
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
Jay Hova?
Bren-Bren has been banging that drum for years.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions
no i get it.. i just didn't think anyone outside of this place has used it.
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
I for one love the Hova nickname
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 3:08 PM EDT up reply actions
I use it every time he HR's, which has been frequent lately.
Jay-Z goes by Hova…so I’m all for it.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Sep 2, 2010 3:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Who cares about those fucktards?
:)
by Brian B on Sep 2, 2010 6:39 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
it is often said around here
I haven’t heard it anywhere else yet, but I’ve already heard jch’s preferred “Chappie” alot at the park, but I guess that is because it is a bit more obvious
While we're on the topic of Alonso
all I seem to hear is trade talk regarding him. He’s blocked for the foreseeable future at first (and hopefully third) but did they make any efforts in Louisville (or elsewhere) to see how he does in the outfield? If he can even jog, his defense couldn’t be much worse than what we’ve gotten there in the past decade.
Also, how’s his arm? Any chance of making him into a Tejada-esque SS?
*yes you can
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
I'd go so far as to say you must
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
I always figured you for a prescriptive linguist
Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Sep 2, 2010 4:52 PM EDT up reply actions
No, I've always figured myself as more of a cunning linguist
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
Nah, you can make it work if you must.
Ahlondso would still be pronounced roughly the same.
by the finest muffins on Sep 2, 2010 7:35 PM EDT up reply actions
Dhali-Lonso...
Don’t you think it is a little early to make him our spiritual leader?
Tanzen!
by Verka Serduchka on Sep 2, 2010 4:01 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, they tried him in LF a bunch of times back in June. It didn't go very well.
Dude is slooooooooow
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
Bummer
I usually just skim FO for the highlights, must have missed all that. Well at least we can use him as a DH in the World Series, right? right?
If, he makes the post season roster
pretty big if
by Eastwindquinn on Sep 2, 2010 4:10 PM EDT up reply actions
It didn't go well for him at first in LF
He’s played there sporadically since June, with mixed results, which is an improvement. But it’s still a project.
by Brian B on Sep 2, 2010 6:43 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Cubandolero is, by far, the best thing anyone has come up with yet
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
by nycredsfan on Sep 2, 2010 2:21 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
since when are nicknames officially decided, anyway?
I say keep it a free-for-all for now and if something sticks, it sticks.
Me? I’m going with A-Rold for the time being.
Speaking of which
Alex Rodriguez dropped Scott Boras as his agent this morning.
Not sure what that means, but it’s interesting, I guess.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
I think that is usually the best approach
unless its something that needs to be used like “the Riot” for Theriot.
Raplisberger!
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
x

"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
by Cy Schourek on Sep 2, 2010 2:29 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
:( That website made me wish I had alot.
They are pretty cuddly, and also quite versatile
This team wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the caftans.
i always like "Worthlessberger" myself
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 2:29 PM EDT up reply actions
samesies..
and Whines Hard
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
oh that's for Hines Ward.
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
i think it was your suggestion
that one rape another’s wife. that’s what did you in.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 9:44 PM EDT up reply actions
i was saying that if a steelers fan wins a bet
he would naturally want to rape and injure the innocent.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
Dude, he's not telling someone to rape someone else's wife
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
I tried to hold a vote once
it ended…poorly.
I’m just disappointed in what gets chosen. I hate The Deal, but love Hova. Really, the best baseball nickname today, I think, is The Mexicutioner.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
i hate the deal too.
i agree, hova is awesome.
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
ive always been partial to the mega-mash-up
“The Next Big Thing, Jay “The Boss” Bruce Almighty"
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions
The Boss is bad, Hova is awkward and sounds like we're trying too hard
I like “Bruce” and “Chapman”
by Brian B on Sep 2, 2010 6:46 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
so it's decided then? A-Chap?
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
You're usually so funny! WTF happened!?
"There is no such thing as an innocent Gatorade cooler."
by Ash on Sep 2, 2010 2:29 PM EDT up reply actions
Pfft.
You post videos of yourself dressed in womens clothing on the Internet. I’m pretty sure you don’t give a shit what anyone thinks!
"There is no such thing as an innocent Gatorade cooler."
by Ash on Sep 2, 2010 2:37 PM EDT up reply actions
Awww, poor Vole-y...
So sorry, we’re still besties, right?
"There is no such thing as an innocent Gatorade cooler."
by Ash on Sep 2, 2010 2:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Piss Cow, is that you?
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 3:10 PM EDT up reply actions
nick names are so unoriginal today...
i hate the first initial/first few letters of last name route. C-Webb, A-rod, J-roll, … etc they’re all so overplayed… we need more like “Old Hoss” Radbourn or “Cool Papa” Bell. I really like Cubandolero and The Cuban Missile
that was why I jokingly called him "A-Rold"
because that’s just most of his first name, not the first-initial first-syllable-of-last-name thing. We’re usually pretty clever with nicknames as a whole. Individually, though, we’re atrocious.
I like the plays off old nicknames, its a sign of respect.
Old Hoss Bailey. The Say Eh Kid. I want to call Stubbs “”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ferguson_%28infielder%29" target="new">Death to Flying Things."
That said, the Lorax was good.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Which is another reason "Cubandolero" is the best
Plus, I just imagine shouting it, CubandoLERRRRRROOOOO!
Seems the most fun.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
5 syllables in a foreign language is a tough sell.
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
I was quite proud of the Lorax myself.
Personally, I like the Cuban Missile, but I’m sad that Alexei Ramirez already has it. The best nickname I’ve ever come up with though is “Ladybug”
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
i was just eatin' some pretzels.
the best kind: Rold Gold
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
Crolfer's GF already called LB...you too late
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
Sam Lecure didn't like my implication on twitter that he smokes doobies
this is after his declaration of intent to watched “dazed and confused”
I don't think Mr. LeCure likes you very much. :(
"There is no such thing as an innocent Gatorade cooler."
by Ash on Sep 2, 2010 2:28 PM EDT up reply actions
LOL, just read your response tweet
Way to cover your ass and get back on his good side!
by Hawkeyegirl96 on Sep 2, 2010 2:33 PM EDT up reply actions
i said he was inviting a drugtest from the MLB
then he said " I just enjoy expressing myself without prejudice, a lot of people who don’t warrant a drug test enjoy that movie"
Dazed & Confused is perhaps my favorite movie of all time
And the hardest drug I’ve taken since it came out is Sudafed.
Both of these statements are a bit sad.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
What's with all the Dazed & Confused hate?
I don’t like where the RR GroupThink™ on this is headed!
by ken on Sep 2, 2010 4:58 PM EDT up reply actions
We're saying it's a stoner movie
stoner movies, by definition, are not very good when you’re not stoney.
(is that how it goes?)
IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!!
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Hey, I like DMB, no one can accuse me of groupthink!
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
A music teacher who likes DMB is like a chef who likes White Castle
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
by jch24 on Sep 2, 2010 5:02 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
A self-important 20 or 30something white music fan who doesn't disdain them is like...
aw, forget it…..
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
I'm going to turn up my Sigur Ros album and pretend I can't hear you
something birkenstock something something granola
by thevole on Sep 2, 2010 5:06 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
indierockhipsteryouwouldn'tgetitthey'rereallyobscure'd
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
That reminds me of a joke
Q: How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: What, you haven’t heard this joke before? I’ve had it for 3 months on japanese purple vinyl import!
by thevole on Sep 2, 2010 5:09 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Hey, did you hear BYU is moving to a new conference?
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
We're saying they're a stoner band
stoner bands, by definition, are not very good when you’re not stonish.
(that’s how it goes, right?)
I'm kidding!
Speaking as, in al likelihood, if not the biggest fan, certainly the most knowledgable about Phish, I’m one to judge someone about stoneable music.
A member of al likelihood, eh?
Crappiest extremist group ever.
Let me write out a formal proof for you.
by Gray on Sep 2, 2010 5:10 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Stoneable music? Extremist group?
When did you move to the Middle East thevole?
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
Rashaan Salaam!
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
I'm kicking you out of this elitist clique of like-minded douchebags!
(closet DMB listener’d)
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
You listen to DMB while you sit in your closet?
That’s weird!
"There is no such thing as an innocent Gatorade cooler."
by Ash on Sep 2, 2010 8:19 PM EDT up reply actions
I'd consider it, but I don't have a closet.
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
That says little
about your use of pot.
by Eastwindquinn on Sep 2, 2010 5:11 PM EDT up reply actions
well, that's a pretty suggestive/aggressive comment from you
to someone that doesn’t know your humor.. i’d react defensively too
that said.. lol
yeah, he could be a twitter narc!
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Oh yeah, THAT stance on drug use!
God damn, that picture is going to start giving ME nightmares
by thevole on Sep 2, 2010 2:45 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I feel sorry for Background Girl
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
He's just pitchin', man. P-I-T-C-H-I-N
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 3:39 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
that was funny
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
@btcoop71
Bullshit. You cannot watch that movie if you are of sound mind.
This team wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the caftans.
x 2,000
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Sep 2, 2010 3:27 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh crap,
you know its been too long between calls when you get an E-MAIL from the grandma. I’m in such deep shit.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Oh man, I once got a voicemail from my grandma that contained this quip:
“It’s your grandma, just calling to see how you are, and if you remember me.” There was zero humor in her tone and one hundred percent sarcasm. I was in the familial doghouse for what seemed like an eternity.
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 3:16 PM EDT up reply actions
That's funny
Because I can ask my grandma the same thing. Because she doesn’t remember me. Because she has dementia.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da CHAPMAN!
Tanzen!
by Verka Serduchka on Sep 2, 2010 3:10 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
to the tune of the Batman tv theme song?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 3:14 PM EDT up reply actions
No, to the tune of a baby recognizing their father
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Or to the tune of Marcel Duchamp whistling
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 3:17 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Art reference high five!
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:15 PM EDT up reply actions
poppycock!
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:24 PM EDT up reply actions
speaking of,
this is one my old favorites.
this one is my current, though.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Um, Batman rules
Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Sep 2, 2010 3:28 PM EDT up reply actions
Indeed.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Sep 2, 2010 3:30 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Nemesis:
The Carpenter, who is aided and abetted by an army of complain-clothes criminals.
Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Sep 2, 2010 3:45 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
fantastic
now someone needs to go add onomatopoeias like “POW” to the footage of Rolen tackling Carpenter
now anyone foolish enough to pay attention to what i say
knows that i am not one for predictions.
But any day now, I expect to read a quote from some Cardinal (when asked to explain their deficit) to the effect of: “it really seems like all the teams in our division give us their best baseball and then lay down for the Reds.”
He fixes the cable?
by Colin Auscapee on Sep 2, 2010 11:08 PM EDT up reply actions
This is just begging for the Reds to waste an unholy sum of money
on a “Chap Signal.”
Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Sep 2, 2010 3:23 PM EDT up reply actions
do we have the technology?

"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Yes. The time is now. Chilren are your future.
The Cincinnati Reds can, should, must and will blow up the division race.
Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Sep 2, 2010 3:31 PM EDT up reply actions
.

there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 3:37 PM EDT up reply actions
we could just call him My little Friend.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36NAeKsHfPI&feature=related
Although, I think I’m still calling him Radar Love until I hear a better one.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Sep 2, 2010 3:39 PM EDT up reply actions
The Golden Earring works too, in a way
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 3:41 PM EDT up reply actions
Burn Notice?
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:11 PM EDT up reply actions
social rules on the internet question, Liscow division:
am I allowed to make my fbook picture Sam Elliot, or is that misrepresentation?
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
which reminds me
Where’s timb116? He hasn’t been seen around here since the end of August. You know, since he lost the Janish bet. Is his new avatar that embarrassing?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
his new avatar...is no avatar
/MrLeCure’d
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
by Cy Schourek on Sep 2, 2010 4:34 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty bad. He didn't even acknowledge receipt of it.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
is he going remain away all month
just so he doesn’t have to use it?
That limpdick!
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
If he doesn't show up soon, I smell a front page story comin'
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
did you know there's another way of folding the towel to make it seem, uh, quite a bit less generous?
I did NOT know that. But it makes sense.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
he logged in this morning
he’s probably to yellow to show up with his new avatar. we should start assaulting his honor just so he has to come out of hiding and defend himself!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 9:27 PM EDT up reply actions
what?
He logged in, but did not change his avatar?
That welcher! He should get an extra three days tacked on for every day he delays.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
yeah, what a welcher!
i bet he’s a lousy tipper too! and he probably mows his lawn really early on the weekends!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 9:52 PM EDT up reply actions
and gets in the 10 items or less line
with 12 items!
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
and opens candy out of loud plastic wrappers in the middle of movies!
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
FTFY
and opens candy out of loud plastic wrappersanswers their goddamned cell phone and has a conversation in the middle of movies!
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
true story:
When I saw The Sixth Sense (in the theater), during the scene when the boy was in the bedroom during the funeral for the little girl, and the dead girl’s ghost (pre-meltdown Mischa Barton, you dig?) scared him then gave him the video of her mom poisoning her, then the boy showing everyone the video…
Anyway, during that scene a woman’s phone rang, she answered it, and continued to have a 5 minute conversation DURING WHICH SHE GAVE AWAY THE ENDING.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
oh, I would whupped somebody's ass
Or at least thrown something at that bitch.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
I was there with my sister, and she hates that kind of thing
My sister is tiny, but I thought she was going to throw down. (She’d already seen the movie, or else she probably would’ve)
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
My sister would have kicked the living shit out of that woman.
No lie.
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
His sister (or someone) should have
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
what about "the red red"?
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
or

there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:13 PM EDT up reply actions
You've got to be KKKKKKKKidding.
Tanzen!
by Verka Serduchka on Sep 2, 2010 4:18 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
MR. PITCHY!!!
Dusty Baker said it was the first [triple play] he’d seen in person. When he was with the Dodgers, they hit into one, but he was in the bathroom.- C Trent
by The Crushinator on Sep 2, 2010 4:18 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I concur
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:19 PM EDT up reply actions
i have to admit
Mr. Pitchy makes me laugh. But it’s not badass enough. It makes me think of a mascot
The Talented Mr. Pitchy
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:25 PM EDT up reply actions
umm, no
because that means Danny Ray would kill him, yeah?
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
drankin'
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:30 PM EDT up reply actions
its catching, actually
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
throw some backwards Ks in there and we'll talk
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
We could call him Mack Daddy...or Daddy Mack
cuz he’s wiggiddy wiggiddy whack!
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
how about
C instead. You know, the speed of light.
186,282 miles per second – it’s not just a good idea, it’s the law.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
sure you can, Easty.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Schour you can, Cy!
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:25 PM EDT up reply actions
These are not the HalMorrisHasALazyBats you're looking for
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:36 PM EDT up reply actions
That was obvious. Hal lazy can you be?
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
hey... be nyc.
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
Way to leg this one out, Groove
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:28 PM EDT up reply actions
who's that guy?
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
which reminds me
the videos kinda weird, but this is my favorite mashup of ever.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
www.500daysofweezy.com
is pretty awesome. Some DJ mashed up weezy with the 500 Days of Summer soundtrack. Some songs are awesome, some are OK
so there.
thx
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
God, I forgot how indulgent this movie was.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
yeah, way overrated.
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
if you like mashups
check out mine. it’s the only one i put on youtube but i’ve done a bunch…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKA5REB0Pu0
"Now onto more important things: Punching Errorlando Cabrerror in the fucking tits." -Geki
very nice
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
and how fantastic
Brick was.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
I don't know if you're kidding or not...
but I fucking loved ‘Brick’
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
I'm not kidding
I, too, fucking loved Brick.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
The Brothers Bloom was such a disappointing follow up
To say I had high hopes is an understatement, but man, that movie bayed at the moon.
aw man, really?
I liked it, but then again, I’m a heeeyuuuge Adrien Brody apologist.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
incidentally
I wrote a review of it. Also, bookmark this site, it’s a winner, but still in beta. Lots of really smart people writing here (me excluded)
one of my favorites of the past few years
my buddy and i just watched “The Lookout” the other day, too. he’s quite the actor, aint he?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Sep 2, 2010 9:30 PM EDT up reply actions
Bobby McFerrin really hates that joke
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:32 PM EDT up reply actions
Remember when we were driving?
driving in Coco’s lamborghini?
by ken on Sep 2, 2010 4:33 PM EDT up reply actions
I thought Chapman had the Lambo,
And Coco had a Ferrari.
If you want to see real bashing, check out Red Reporter…it’s crazy over there - hr
by RedsMasochist on Sep 2, 2010 4:44 PM EDT up reply actions
speeds so fast, felt like BP['s R8]
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
And UncleWeez had a feeling that he belonged!
And UncleWeez had a feeling he could be someone, be someone, be someone…..
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:34 PM EDT up reply actions
And now presenting, the shadiest job listing ever
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:41 PM EDT reply actions
He is
It’s Geki
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:46 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
So Freel is with Atlanta now?
Tanzen!
by Verka Serduchka on Sep 2, 2010 4:47 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
rec
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:47 PM EDT up reply actions
Stone Mountain is BP's hometown
Selective End Points’d
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Speaking of a mountain of stone
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 4:50 PM EDT up reply actions
They seem to be associated with the music industry, how shady could they possibly be?
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Who was it here that emailed me their resume? I forget.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
by jch24 on Sep 2, 2010 4:54 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
That must instill a lot of confidence in whomever it was
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
Hey, I sent it on
I was just trying to match the real name with the RR moniker here. Asshole.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Sorry for calling you an asshole, pudwhacker
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
We're all assholes. You, me, this asshole.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
you outdid yourself there
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Me too

If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
by Madville on Sep 3, 2010 12:46 AM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
The classic always gets a rec
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
I shudder to think as to why people are e-mailing you their resumes
by thevole on Sep 2, 2010 4:54 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Considering how many times I've switched jobs in the last year it makes sense that I would know people who could get him a job
Asshole.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Sorry for calling you an asshole, pudwhacker
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
everything you can and will say
can be countered with, “WE’RE GOING TO ADONIS, SON!!!!!!!!!”
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Ask anyone who went on that adventure if they had a bad time, I dare you :)
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Bill and I were a little bored sitting in the parking lot after you disappeared for about 20 mins...
"There is no such thing as an innocent Gatorade cooler."
by Ash on Sep 2, 2010 8:21 PM EDT up reply actions
now you're just being mean because I'm unemployed
as mentioned earlier in the thread, I’m very sensitive. :(
You? Sensitive? WHERE?
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
I know someone who will hire you
Just based on your squeeze-box skills.
by Eastwindquinn on Sep 2, 2010 5:17 PM EDT up reply actions
Like putting out a gas fire with water, he scattered the whores to the burrows...
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
The best way to put out a gas fire is with your cotton shirt, duh
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
no, the best way to put out a gas fire is with YOUR cotton shirt.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
not anymore, that sumbitch done burnt up
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Nevermind, I found out on my own! :)
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
speaking of nicknames
the FIBA championship is here in Istanbul, and it turns out that Turkey calls their team 12 Dev Adam which means “12 Giant Men” which is kind of awesome.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
/ravenriley'd
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
by jch24 on Sep 2, 2010 4:58 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
this is really cool
Meantime, Chapman uses an interpreter, stays close to Cordero and lets his fastball sing the arias. "Unbelievable arm speed,‘’ Krivsky said. "Three-quarters arm angle, all arms and legs. And loose. He throws pretty easy, for as hard as he throws.’’
Krivsky saw Chapman in March. He says the difference is profound. “He’s not rushing,” Krivsky said. "His arm and body are in much better sync. The Reds have done a good job with his delivery. What strikes me most, though, is his composure. The place is going nuts, flashbulbs popping, crowd standing up, he acts like he’s pitching in a simulated game.’’
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/paul_daugherty/09/02/chapman/index.html
this too
Matt Bynum at Hillerich and Bradsby, the company that produces the Louisville Slugger, did some research.
“(Chapman’s) 104 mph fastball takes only .39 seconds to reach the plate,‘’ Bynum wrote. "Factoring a stride of about 5 feet, that time is reduced to .36 seconds. The average human eye blinks at a speed (between) three-tenths and four-tenths of a second. So if you are the batter and you blink at the point of Chapman’s release, the ball will pass you before you open your eyes again.’’
same article
but even a 90 mph fastball
reaches the plate in less than half a second. The difference between 104 mph and 90 mph is .39 seconds vs .45 seconds.
I’ve noticed in my photos that the players’ eyes are often closed at the end of their swing. I think it’s because they’re suppressing it while watching for the pitch, and so blink as soon as they swing.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I think that's just the law of nature
that causes peoples’ eyes to close when a shutter is released nearby.
lol, and there's a lot of this in comment sections across the web
Yeah, and if you thought that guy’s mechanics were going to cause arm issues, wait until you see Chapman’s high armed, arm destroying release.
I guess pitching mechanics are just completely subjective.
I'm really curious about whether that's true or not
Those web sites that analyze pitching mechanics…how accurate are they? They’re really interesting, but has there ever been any research that shows they’re right?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I'm talking about
the sites like Driveline Mechanics and Baseball Intellect. They sound like they know what they’re talking about, but is it based on anything scientific?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
They're prolly too scared to put percentages of sergury next to the players names...
…but that would be the only way to test their accuracy, methinks.
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
Who wants to come help me work in the yard tonight?
obc? You’re on the West Side.
BK? You’re right down the road!
Madville? Never mind, we’d just end up drunk talking about Vegas.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Hey you should have called man...
I would have picked up BK and it would have been fun directing you guys on house yardwork is properly administrated.
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
I just got out of the shower
It was a rough night.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
How long were you in the shower...better yet did you have company?
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
...check please.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Sep 2, 2010 10:26 PM EDT up reply actions
/cash'd
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Sep 2, 2010 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
brilliant, kid
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Long enough to scrub the funk off me
And sadly, I was alone. The peach is working late, hence my hanging out with you degenerates tonight. :)
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
I've always had a soft spot for Domino's Pizza
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Yes, it is.
If you want to see real bashing, check out Red Reporter…it’s crazy over there - hr
by RedsMasochist on Sep 2, 2010 5:27 PM EDT up reply actions
no
its still disgusting, just a slightly differetn type.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
it's really different
And a lot of my friends like it.
I don’t, but I liked the old Domino’s.
(And with that admission, I will probably be evicted from NY.)
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
lol
I’ve seen shows on food network about pizza in NY—it seems like people are pretty opinionated about it there
yeah, pizza is a religion around here
All the Italians. Brick oven or no brick oven, square or round, thick or thin crust, etc.
The old Domino’s reminded me of my mom’s pizza. What can I say, my mom makes bland pizza with a hard crust. It’s what I grew up with.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
brick oven is great
I’ll have to visit New York just for the pizza. I’ve actually never been there and I really ought to go.
What about when I come to NYC? :)
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
we'll take you to get hookers, THEN pizza
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
Now THAT'S hospitality!
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
you could
go see the Yankees play the Reds in the World Series!
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
We can buy a bunch of Domino's pizzas and throw slices at fans as they enter the stadium.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
they do give stadium tours
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
not sure about that
They do give tours on game days.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
your mom also used fake cheese, watery, sugary sauce, and processed meat?
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
well
The cheese was often government surplus cheese. The sauce was sweet. And yes, she used processed meat. Usually Portuguese sausage or kielbasa.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
You weren't kiddin', she really did make Domino's pizza!
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
I leave you soulless goons with this image of a puppy
Good night, at least until later.

"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
by jch24 on Sep 2, 2010 5:25 PM EDT reply actions 6 recs
I love the look in his/her eyes
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
I know, I lied
I got roped into fixing a damnable laptop.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
thankfully we've been validated by Fox Sports.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
wait, when were they cool in the first place?
I mean, lots of people wear reds hats, but they don’t actually like the reds.
we weren't cool in "the" first place
just cool, in first place!
by Red_Poodle on Sep 2, 2010 5:37 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
i'm still quite partial to Chappy and/or Chapmania
"Yeah, yeah, that's what we do in Cincinnati, we go first to third baby!"-Brandon Phillips.
Screw it
I’m going home for real this time, I need to mow the lawn before it rains. Screw you SP3 and your hardware incompatible ways!
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
your grass is actually growing?
I haven’t mowed my lawn in a month and a half. It’s basically dead.
Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
The interspersed weeds have quite nicely
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
learn from his fail
A friend of mine once discovered that you shouldn’t use weed killer on the weeds in your yard, if your yard is more than half weeds.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
"MidWest Sports Fans" reminds us that the Cuban Missile is already taken by Alexei Ramirez"
Didn’t I remind us of this yesterday?
How about “The Rocket?”
by Brian B on Sep 2, 2010 6:25 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Aroldis...Aroldis...
‘Roldis…Roldie…Rollie! Roll. Roll the ball. The ball roller. Rolls Royce. Royce the Baseball Roller. Arolidis. Roll This! Rollerball time!
Chapman…Chappie…Chapped. You got chapped and rolled! Chapped lips. Roll your Chapped lips back to the dugout. Lippy Chaps. Chapped man. Man o man, roll the chaps! A roller chap. Chap me, I’m a roller! He’s on “A Roll, this chap man.” Chapel. Chapel bells. Roll on down the chapel bells!
Possible Aroldis Chapman nickname:
El Chico Malo.
(The Nasty Boy)
It’s more original in Spanish.
Phone's ringing, Dude.
How about Asno y Codos
Ass and Elbows. And it has the benefit of sharing his initials.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
How about A&E?
Plays on both “Ass and Elbows” and “Accident and Emergency,” which is the british way of saying Emergency Room. He’s Andorran, right? That’s close by.
Okay, this is bullshit.
That’s twice today I posted something someone else typed minutes before that I didn’t see because mobile version doesn’t update.
by Brian B on Sep 2, 2010 7:10 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Or AC/DC
because his stuff is electric?
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
Actually, I kinda like this.
His entrance music could be Thunderstruck, and the whole crowd could shout CHAP-MAN on the “Thunder” part.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
MR. PITCHY!
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 8:09 PM EDT up reply actions
Gizmo
Looks innocent, but is responsible for some havoc-wreaking shit
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 8:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Ster-oldis
Kid K
B-105 FM
Chap-man Jones
Asses and Elbows
Cool Pappa Smurf
by Brian B on Sep 2, 2010 7:07 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Here's one that's politically incorrect and probably racist
The Heato Bandito.
If you want to see real bashing, check out Red Reporter…it’s crazy over there - hr
I kinda like that one...
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
de la Cruz, eh?
I don’t know about him, but opposing batters are definitely going down the Via Dolorosa.
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
K-105
The Hefty Lefty
The Speed Trap
Aroldis “Don’t blink” Chapman
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
Jose Rijoldis?
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Sep 2, 2010 8:14 PM EDT reply actions
Lefty Sizzell
(but really Mr. Pitchy)
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 8:15 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
This is the best one I've come up with all day, somebody fucking rec it
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 8:16 PM EDT up reply actions
Homey don't play that!
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 8:25 PM EDT up reply actions
How about Lamar Latrell?
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
What about me, big boy?

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
Alright dudes and dudettes, I'm out of here for a while. Remember....
MR. PITCHY (The Crushinator’s)
LEFTY SIZZELL
GIZMO
there is nothing to beer, but beer itself
by HalMorrisHasALazyBat on Sep 2, 2010 8:30 PM EDT reply actions
El Thermador
“related to or caused by heat”
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
I thought that was
a way to cook lobster.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I thought it was an electrical component that has a resistance that varies with temperature.
This team wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the caftans.
that's a thermistor
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
I THINK I GOT A GOOD ONE HERE....
El Lanzallamas!
It means “The Flamethrower.” And it’s surprisingly fun and easy to say!
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
we've already seen this one ... thus the new name ... the flaming llama
"Yeah, yeah, that's what we do in Cincinnati, we go first to third baby!"-Brandon Phillips.
remember?

"Yeah, yeah, that's what we do in Cincinnati, we go first to third baby!"-Brandon Phillips.
his name is Calvin
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
That thing is fucking creepy.
If you want to see real bashing, check out Red Reporter…it’s crazy over there - hr
by RedsMasochist on Sep 2, 2010 10:20 PM EDT up reply actions
I've been worried about the whole inverted W thing all day today
so.. inverted w: 
vs. chappy
normal w
Man, and here I've been worried about Gulf Coast ecosystems and war in the Sudan.
Silly me ;-)
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
fwiw
Baseball Intellect posted an analysis last year. They didn’t find any red flags when it comes to injury risk (aside from the fact that he’s a hard thrower, which always increases risk).
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
His delivery has changed since then, apparently
Reports are that he altered his mechanics in Louisville. I’ve heard one amateur favorable comparison to Randy Johnson
I think Randy Johnson is probably a good comparison
based on the Baseball Intellect analysis. Like Chapman, RJ was really tall, and struggled to get all the moving parts coordinated. It took him awhile to develop, and a lot of observers blamed his height.
I didn’t see anything on Strasburg at Baseball Intellect, but Driveline Mechanics had something on Strasburg earlier this year. Kyle Boddy was reminded of Mark Prior, and thought Stras might have some of the same injury problems that Prior had.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
you check out dudes' bodies?
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Sep 2, 2010 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions
who are you, fucking Jeff Francouer!?
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Sep 2, 2010 10:54 PM EDT up reply actions
move that comma one word to the right, and the sentence is very different.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 2, 2010 10:58 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
nobody wants to fuck Jeff Francouer
His contact rate is awful and his throws are usually off line.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
by jch24 on Sep 2, 2010 11:08 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
His arm's pretty good
The only one better than Jay Bruce, supposedly.
I’m still amazed the Mutts found someone willing to take him off their hands. I guess the Rangers need someone who can play OF in place of gimpy Josh Hamilton.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I was going more for sexual innuendo
Prolly shoulda used quotes. :)
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
I know
I just get this irrational desire to talk about baseball sometimes. Crazy, but true!
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
then why are you on this site????
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
umm....
’Cause I like chimp pictures, too?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Sep 3, 2010 12:40 AM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Judges?
We’ll allow it!
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Gotta rec humor from BF
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
And I agree, I can't believe TEX grabbed him
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
For heaven's sake,
like I said before, I was only looking there to check if George Brett had shit himself again!
Jake,
I love you but the next time you say Chapman is an injury waiting to happen, I’m going to smack you right in the penis.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 2, 2010 10:44 PM EDT up reply actions
oh, i'm sorry
i can’t read.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 2, 2010 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions
your penis is safe
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 2, 2010 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions
i also plagerized a line from Family Guy.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 2, 2010 10:53 PM EDT up reply actions
we prefer the term "ding ding", fuckface
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
This is true
“Ding ding” is not gender exclusive, making it the more acceptable choice for our diverse reading audience. “Penis”, Justin? You misogynistic fuck. Show some respect.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Sep 2, 2010 11:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Honest question: How is 'ding ding' not gender exclusive?
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
You had to be there.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Sep 2, 2010 11:15 PM EDT up reply actions
because I argued vehemently that it wasn't :)
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
unrelated, thevole
but my buddy was down because Pitt lost today, and I showed him your Bad Romance and he smiled.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 3, 2010 12:17 AM EDT up reply actions
Please. Don't give me ANY credit for that. ;-)
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
After reading that scouting report, it sounds like they really helped Chapman in Louisville.
His new, more compact delivery must really have improved his consistency in terms of velocity and release point.
His slider delivery looks the same....
The fastball delivery is night-and-day different.
On the other hand, nobody could ever have hit that fastball before. God knew when he was going to release it or whether it was going to go into the catcher’s glover of the on-deck circle. He was off balance when he released it, so if he got a little off it got a little wild.
I’m surprised that some of the umpires didn’t say “I’m to old for this shit” and make calls from behind the backstop.
As in Madville Del Rio...Androidis Chapman's new manager and personal sidekick.
And remember kids its copyrighted

If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
His name is El Matador
@AroldisChapman.....is fun to follow on twiiter!
by Dave from Louisville on Sep 2, 2010 10:28 PM EDT reply actions
With the Braves losing tonight
My favorite team now has the best record in the NL. Hold on to that and HFA follows all the way to gm 7 of the WS!
You're never as bad as you look when you lose. You're never as good as you look when you win.
by JasperRed on Sep 2, 2010 10:37 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
The Hit Embargo
or some variation of “embargo”
Also:
The Havana Heater
The Cubano Cruiser
The Cocodrilo
The Maja (Cuban snake)
Fuckit I’m drunk Go Bucks! 1-0 baby! Go Reds! Kill them birds!!
It is the soothing thing about history that it does repeat itself. -Gertrude Stein
The Reds Scare
…from the communist thinggy
It is the soothing thing about history that it does repeat itself. -Gertrude Stein
A sobering thought
Mads was the only RR to pick the Reds to win the division.
Well done Maddy.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Even if he did forget there's a team in Houston
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
And he has Poopholes winning the NL MVP. Ludicrous.
It is the soothing thing about history that it does repeat itself. -Gertrude Stein
They suck so bad I didn't care to include them
or blow me…
Your choice
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
slap him in the ding ding.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 3, 2010 12:57 AM EDT up reply actions
Justin...what the hell is wrong with you ,,,,
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
by Madville on Sep 3, 2010 1:12 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
thanks for finding that
seriously, I think of that prediction often because I thought it was so outrageously crazy when he first posted it, but it also had an air of the possible about it. I hope this team can hang on and secure this division. It would make Madville the most prescient of us all!
i'm pretty sure he picked the Reds to win the division in 2009 too.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 3, 2010 12:18 AM EDT up reply actions
No.
St. louis
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
yeah, but on the other hand, he had seattle in the playoffs too
"Yeah, yeah, that's what we do in Cincinnati, we go first to third baby!"-Brandon Phillips.
A lot of people did before the season started
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Serious Question
should the Reds hold Phillips out of the Cardinals series? They don’t have much left, Chris Carpenter and Tony LaRussa are two of the great assholes of our time, at this time they have very little left to play for, so hitting Phillips and fucking up his season has a lot of positives and few negatives.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
More fun reading
In the search for the predictions I ran across this series from 2005. Great reading from before my time..
Which gives us this gem, via the mythical JD:
Votto had trouble with the jump to Dayton in 2003, so I’m just going to hope that he’s a slow adjuster. He’s nowhere near a top prospect now, but he’s still someone to keep an eye on.
We’ve come a LONG way guys. Damn it feels good to be a Reds fan.
Soooooo………NYC, how do you feel about prospects NOW? ;)
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
whatever happened to those guys?
Hey JD,
Can you update us on where they are now? Steve Kelly? William Bergola?
I could google that for me, but I’m too lazy.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
That list is sooooo bad
Just goes to show what a real five year plan can do, I guess. :)
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
that is a great read
right before the comment youposted he said :
man did I ever have high hopes for Votto.
His hopes were not dashed lol
ha, wonder what AJ Zapp is doing these days
a lot of great names in the high minors.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Great find
For some reason, I always imagined that RR materialized out of the aether the day I discovered it in 07. +points for EZ Ramirez
You started reading in '07 and just now started commenting?
Now that’s a dedication to lurking!
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Holy crap, nostalgia is fun!
I found the origin of “that’s racist!”
I didn’t think the old comments came over?
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
thanks I never knew waht triggered that here
I just started coming here during last year’s Nats series in D.C., so I missed a bunch of stuff.
I scrolled to the end of the thread and liked Brian B’s comment about Castro:
I can deal with Castro being an automatic out. But now he’s taking others with him.
I knew it started with me and D, I could never find it before
Total misunderstanding that took off. Kind of like the in jokes now. :)
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
it is even funnier
knowing it started out like that. That reminds me, hopefully Deadlus’ internet hiatus doesn’t las too much longer, or she takes a hiatus break. She needs to toss in some comments on the Chapman nickname situation.
she posted something at VEB in the poem.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 3, 2010 12:52 AM EDT up reply actions
I was very new to redreporter at that time
that was about when I came down with mono!
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 3, 2010 12:47 AM EDT up reply actions
and...?
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
and Owings pitched that game.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 3, 2010 12:48 AM EDT up reply actions
"I'm looking forward to seeing Belisle pitch again"
Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Sep 3, 2010 10:16 AM EDT up reply actions
I, for one, always liked the guy.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
also, whoa, Owings pitching for the DBacks
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
i really liked Belisle
low to mid 90s fastball, nice curve ball, good command, I guess the bullpen is the best place for him. He is striking out a batter an inning this year.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 3, 2010 12:25 PM EDT up reply actions
HA!
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Also, that thread is chock full of WIN
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
It contains this gem, BTW
So……’tHan…….how did you come across the odd capitalization again?
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Christ on a hubcap the exact same people were commenting then as now...with a couple of exceptions
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
I'm still looking for my first comment
Anyone know how to find it?
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
do a search for JCH24
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 3, 2010 12:51 AM EDT up reply actions
The problem there
I search on my alias and this is my “first” comment, from 12/1/2007.
The thread I linked to above is from 04/11/2007.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
damnit
that failed, it didn’t go back before the change over. The only pre-format comments that found were comments with justin007000 in the text.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 3, 2010 12:54 AM EDT up reply actions
This one, maybe?
http://www.redreporter.com/2007/10/1/52739/6562#3777522
"Fuck it, we'll do it live."
i'm not so bright
Here I predicted that Zambrano would continue to be effective as he ages because of his sinker…
JCH delete that.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 3, 2010 12:57 AM EDT up reply actions
I'm not totally positive
But this might be my first comment. It’s the first one I remember making, anyway.
Not a bad way to start off, IMO. :)
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Man, we're playing the "first comment" game?
Beat this: Mine was all the way back in two-thousand-and-goddamned-nine! You read right! That’s over a YEAR ago!
Why do the threads go back forever but the comments are only after the switch?
I’m sure this was covered back in December of ’07 but I was INCREDIBLY drunk in those days.
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
This is to commemorate my 18,735th comment:

AND THIS IS FOR BUBBA (evev thought no one has ever reported seeing a photo of BF)

Yeah.. OK – its for Poodle, and Muffin and Ash and Daedalus and Andromache as well…
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
Oh and how could I forget to include Hawkeye...
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker
Now, Mads, we've talked about this
Please don’t go around posting pictures of me on the internet.
That’s how I get stalkers.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
You really shouldn't elbow people in the head, ya know
And did you pick #10 for Pele?
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
La Ultima Arma
The Ultimate Weapon
You're never as bad as you look when you lose. You're never as good as you look when you win.
fuerza del vendaval
gale force
You're never as bad as you look when you lose. You're never as good as you look when you win.
El Nuevo Ordenar
The New Marshall
You're never as bad as you look when you lose. You're never as good as you look when you win.
On the "first posts at RR" trend
my first thousand or so all sucked
except the ones where i compared joey votto to albert pujols and you all called me crazy, and now joey votto is better than albert pujols.. screw you guys
this is fun!
Hopefully these Reds have learned something.
They can score runs without Votto. When Votto comes back, can we reasonably expect .5 to 1 more runs per game? Maybe bump the average up to 4.8? Ehhhhh?
by Jake Liscow on May 10, 2009 2:47 PM EDT actions
you mean that over a season Joey is worth 80-160 runs over replacement player?
…may be a strech, but I like it.
Ali Boombaye
by Cy Schourek on May 10, 2009 2:48 PM EDT up actions
and this super awesome exchange
http://www.redreporter.com/2009/8/2/973002/game-104-thread-2-joey-gets-us-to#19124839
The debate in the last thread made me decide that I’m going to write a Votto vs. Pujols comparison
Go Joeh?
by Jake Liscow on Aug 2, 2009 4:13 PM EDT actions
Um
Pujols has been doing it for 8 years. No matter how good they are this year, Albert is what he is. Joey’s season could still be a fluke.
“It seems like we’re not hitting because we’re not getting hits.” – Dusty being Dusty
by Slyde on Aug 2, 2009 4:15 PM EDT up actions
I know, I know…
But can’t I have my fun? I’m not asking you to feature it :p
by Jake Liscow on Aug 2, 2009 4:15 PM EDT up actions
i know who i’d rather have…
Pujols… hands down.
by GrooveLeg on Aug 2, 2009 4:16 PM EDT up actions
probably
“It seems like we’re not hitting because we’re not getting hits.” – Dusty being Dusty
by Slyde on Aug 2, 2009 4:17 PM EDT up actions
You guys are just raining all over my parade.
Obviously Pujols is a better player. I don’t expect to conclude otherwise. But Votto is our Pujols, let’s not kid ourselves.
by Jake Liscow on Aug 2, 2009 4:19 PM EDT up actions
I am replying to say I agree with your assessment
And so you will quit talking to your fucking self
by coviner on Sep 3, 2010 2:19 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions 3 recs
So, you still think Pujols is elderly or on some sort of enhancers?
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
I'll go on record as saying I think he's on some sort of enhancers
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Ill go on the record disagreeing with you
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
I accept your apology, and hope we can put this ugly incident behind us and move forward from this point on
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
That's racist!
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
by PeteyHendrix on Sep 3, 2010 11:59 AM EDT up reply actions
I'd rather have Votto
mostly because he is young. Pujols is old, and has a balky elbow. Of course there are freaks who continue to produce at high levels into their late 30s, but I would just assume have the young guy.
Joey Votto is my MVP.
by justin007000 on Sep 3, 2010 12:28 PM EDT up reply actions
Just want to add this on the Chapmania
I really think that his entrance music, or really any entrance music, should be <a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CBIQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D3z8ppcFGPlY&rct=j&q=sleigh%20bells%20crown%20on%20the%20ground&ei=StWATM-SG9S5jAePiux8&usg=AFQjCNEFK3-v79hF0tQnQhmayhr5zaImHQ&sig2=ZUnSr7B5pGQIR2vRTyzpeA&cad=rja" target="new">Sleigh Bell’s Crown on the Ground (Thanks Brendan!)
The sheer metallic weirdness of it would be great. It’s eerie, clangy, and would put the fear of God into me if I was at the plate. It starts off as something straight out of a horror movie, to the point where you’re relieved when the drums kick in. And it would be damned intimidating as pitcher music.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
link fail
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
also related
from fangraphs discussing Reds Septembe rcallups:
Notes on Aroldis Chapman available in every single place on the internet
.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Holy crap, this is ridiculous
Carlos Gonzalez’s OPS splits:
Home: 1.212 OPS
Road: .733 OPS
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
Good news, Time Warner customers
We finally get ESPN3 and all that junk!
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman
This comment cracked me up
It’ll only make sense to the locals, but some kids from Kings HS took some prescription pills from a student (my guess – Adderal or something similar), prompting an ambulance run and possible charges. On one of the rare occasions that Cincinnati.com commenters aren’t horrible:
Dear Kings High School,
Get on our level.
Signed,
Indian Hill High School
"Nothing wakes you up on a cold January morning like hot horse-piss." - Kevin Mitchell is Batman






































