Red Reposter - "Truly, his legend was no mere tale," said the townspeople in unison. The Cubandolero surveyed the carnage but briefly, then strode triumphantly back to his "Bull's Pen."

The Reposter is powered by an outdated Cynicaltron 9000-b and is not equipped to handle this level of unmitigated success and raw talent. Please, I need interns badly. Picking out the file photo to go with these posts takes four and half hours alone. A 7 game lead? I'm going to also need a bigger calculator, probably a TI-89 with Leisure Suit Larry pre-installed. Welcome back, Aaron Harang!

Here's official video
Though DVRs, VCRs, BetaMax players and brains should already have this information trapped like a vise.

Fire alarms announced the arrival
Hall o' Famer Hal shares details about Aroldis' auspicious landing on Ohio shores. Arroyo puts Chapman's abilities in Guiness Book terms:

"We’ve got the Usain Bolt of baseball... There are probably less than 10 guys that have ever walked the Earth that have ever thrown that hard."

Fangraphs gushes empirically over Chapman's debut
102.7 MPH seems to be the official topping-out figure. Jack Moore was most impressed not by the heat, but by the slider with lethal 8" break (indirect h/t to Big League Stew) thrown to Jonathan Lucroy.

And then tamps down the childlike wonder with obligatory skepticism: "Is Chapman Valuable in the Bullpen?"
Not even trying to hear that right now.

Cincinnati Enquirer offers a photo slide show of Chapmania
I'm not sure how they missed snapping a picture of the animatronic Ed Sullivan who introduced Chapman:

Now yesterday and today our ballpark's been jammed with newspapermen and hundreds of photographers from all over the nation, and these veterans agreed with me that the city never has the excitement stirred by this youngster from Holguin, who someone else stupidly calls the Cubandolero. Now tonight, you're gonna probably be entertained and generally blown away by him, especially if Arthur Rhodes isn't available.  Ladies and gentlemen, The Aroldis Chapman. Let's bring him on.

Here's your Orlando Cabrera update to cleanse the pallet for more Chapman
"Cabrera says is confident hell play this weekend against St. Louis." I'm sure it's a missed apostrophe, but I like to think he said there will be "hell to pay" or he's "confident as hell to play" this weekend. Janish has cooled off at the plate, but Cabrera is going to have to hit significantly better than he did before hitting the DL to make up for Janish's glovework and adequate bat. Though it does seem to be the case that Janish has shown some wear from full-time starting down the stretch.

Nix to the DL, Volquez to Dayton
I didn't read this closely, but I assume the rule is that if you throw 105, they require two players to be sent down. Whatever!

"Insane Jerseys" showcased at Redleg Nation
Redleg Nation has been collecting photos of jersey with ephemeral and otherwise questionable former Reds' names emblazoned on the back. The Bowden jersey might be the most bizarre - not only not a player, but also a guy with a dubious legacy in Cincinnati.

Pete Rose multi-part interview on Yahoo! Sports
Speaking of dubious legacies. The 4,192 celebration suggests Pete Rose is still very much a part of the Reds' organizational identity. But he's also part of an increasingly irrelevant past that seems to reflect poorly on the franchise - and perhaps Cincinnati in general - nearly every time it crops up in the news.

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