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Around SBN: MLB Trade Deadline: Phils, Astros complete Roy Oswalt deal

Red Reposter - Whatcha Gonna Do When Chapmania Runs Wild on You!?

  • Dusty counters all the Chapmania with a bit of levity
    When asked if the team's plans have become clearer after Chapman's impressive first two outings Dusty said: 

    "It's hard to plan an unknown entity. You don't know what things may arise. He still has to get a driver's license and a Social Security card. There are a lot of things he has to get. I think baseball and pitching are probably a sanctuary from all of the other stuff."

    I think this brings into perspective a little better just how steep Chapman's learning curve is here. It's probably best for him to learn all the life-living stuff somewhere like Zebulon instead of Cincinnati.

  • Sheldon says having Barry Larkin and Sean Casey in camp as guest instructors is a blast
    Larkin still looks fit enough to play, though he says "looks can be deceiving". The Mayor of course lit up the place, exchanging hugs and handshakes and such. Both of these fellas work for MLBNetwork now and I would feel remiss if I didn't start banging the drum again to have these guys join the organization in an official capacity. The team and city couldn't ask for better ambassadors.

  • Most folks 'round here believe the Reds won't score many runs this season
    unless Jay Bruce really turns it on. "I think the adjustments that I made last year are really going to carry over and help this year," said Bruce..."Spring Training is about getting ready and getting locked in. I am getting some hits, but I am confident about what's been going on so far." It's kinda weird because it seems he's been around a while, but Bruce is not yet 23.

  • "Clutch-Man-Monie" had a decision to make regarding where he wanted to play this year
    Ramon Hernandez wanted to come back to Cincy because he's comfortable and knows the team. And I'm sure the wildly exuberant and irrational support of the manager was a big factor too. "I know Ramon," Baker said. "I saw him in the beginning. (The Giants) played the A's all the time. Ramon is a clutch man. I call him 'Clutch-Man-Monie.' He's probably the second best we have to Joey (Votto). I'd just as soon have him up as anybody on the team."

  • Dusty Baker had some interesting things to say about the team yesterday
    He was asked why Yonder Alonso hasn't gotten any work in anywhere else but 1B yet: " The other spots he’s going to go to is when he goes to minor league camp. He’s been working in left field. But I’m having a tough enough time getting guys time. That’s one reason we have the B game this morning. No. 1, you’ve got to try to get the guys most ready that you know are going north with you – not that you hope are going north with you. Or I should say east."

Star-divide

  • Hall o' Famer Hal gives us another "Ask Hal" piece
    Here's a few of the better ones:
    "Q Did you experience baseball in the days of train travel and how was it? — Michael, Arlington, Va.

    A Some folks think I covered baseball when teams traveled by stagecoach or wagon train. Yeah, and I always rode shotgun. I love trains and used Amtrak from Los Angeles to San Diego or Philadelphia to New York. No security checkpoints, carry your own luggage and it never gets lost, no seat belts, large La-Z-boy chair in the club cars. Heaven on wheels.

    Q Alex Gonzalez missed a lot of the season two years ago because his infant son was hospitalized. How did that turn out? — Laurie, Bellbrook

    A His son was born with a birth defect and nearly died a couple of times. I admired Gonzalez so much because he tried to play through it. His son has survived, but needs to be closely monitored."

    It seems like Gonzo's kid is doing ok, relatively speaking. All the best to him and his.

  • Juan Francisco and Homer Bailey each had solid games on Saturday
    El Nino Destructor crushed 2 home runs and Ol' Hoss gave up an earnie in 3 innings with 2 strikeouts. He's happy to have Aroldis Chapman on the team, mostly because he's good, but also because he's taking all the heat now: "I'm glad I'm done with that period now and focus on the game and the results," Bailey said. "He (Chapman)'s going through a lot and he's throwing really well. That's good to see. I don't know what the plans are for the fifth spot and it's none of my business. He is definitely going to help this team out very soon."

  • The Fay says Dan O'Brien deserves much credit for the talent the Reds have on the field now
    The whole story is only in the print edition of the Enquirer, but he lists Bailey, Janish, Craig Tatum, Phillippe Valiquette, Cueto, Francisco, Bruce, Travis Wood, Carlos Fisher, Sam LeCure, and Logan Ondrusek all as guys O'Brien either drafted or signed as amateurs.

  • Matt Maloney threw 3 scoreless innings yesterday
    Speaking about the competition for the 5th rotation spot: "There’s a lot of dynamics between all the guys," Maloney said "The competition will be good for the team. You see what guys are made of."

  • Aaron Harang threw 4 1/3 in the B game
    and was even better than Maloney, giving up zero runs and striking out two.

    • Jon Heyman adulates Junya for being the "real" home run king of his era
      Sanctimony aside, it's a really good read. The Griffey Era in Cincy has been over for a few years now and the unfulfilled dreams have largely been let go, at least for me. But the good times will never be forgotten. Junya says the whole steroid thing needs to be put to rest. "To me, it's time to turn the page. Ryan Howard, Ryan Braun, Prince Fielder, Adam Dunn ... all these are great young kids people can relate to now and put their energy into, and not get worked up about what happened 10, 15 or 20 years ago. Let it go." Nice of him to give a shout-out to his home boy Dunner.

    • Would you trade Albert Pujols for Ryan Howard?
      Buster Brown says the Phillies have talked about making an offer of that nature, but the Phils said he's a liar. I'm not normally one for wild rumors like this, but this one made me nearly faint dead away. The thought that Ryan Howard is even in the same area code as Albert Pujols is dangerously stupid. That's why I wouldn't be at all surprised if Ruben Amaro thought such a think.

  • 0 recs  |  Comment 164 comments |

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    I'm right there with you concerning Pujols/Howard

    How anyone outside of a rabid Phillies fan might think they’re at all equivalent is completely beyond me.

    "Some times you get lucky; some times you get Willy Taveras." --Fay

    by RedStalk on Mar 15, 2010 11:08 AM EDT reply actions  

    I don't think anyone really does

    Amaro’s turned out to be much better than I thought. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt on the Pujols rumor, which is beyond silly. Someone simply made this up because Howard is from Missouri and the Phillies are probably looking to deal Howard at some point.

    by ken on Mar 15, 2010 11:11 AM EDT up reply actions  

    I wonder what a trade for Pujols by the Phillies would have to include

    Howard with a sign and trade / hometown discount + Phillies Top 5 prospects + JA Happ

    Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show

    by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Mar 15, 2010 12:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Still doesn't seem like enough

    Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show

    by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Mar 15, 2010 12:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Come on, how much will it cost the Cards to re-sign Pujols?

    Considering the cost of Albert and the fact his elbow is limited (and could explode), I don’t think that trade is THAT crazy.

    I remember reading how a drunken Yawkey agreed in principle with a drunken Yankee owner to trade Williams for DiMaggio, figuring they would both be gazzionaires as every year those two guys challenged Ruth’s records in parks that seemed designed for them. Sobriety returned in the morning and the trade was dropped.

    Seems like the same thing here. these players are too BIG to trade for each other

    by timb116 on Mar 15, 2010 12:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Who'd he play with?

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 12:30 PM EDT up reply actions  

    and look at his left hand in this photo

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 12:31 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Ok, so

    Marilyn has Arthur’s hand and Arthur has Marilyn’s hand, but, uh, who’s the guy givin’ Arthur a dainty caress?

    A Pete Rose by any other name would still smell of cheap hookers and pinetar.

    by Pops Daniels on Mar 15, 2010 7:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Those puppies were real.

    Gleet:The chronic morbid discharge as from the nostrils of horses.

    by Madville on Mar 15, 2010 10:36 PM EDT up reply actions  

    If the Cards can't sign Pujols, they're not going to part with him until they have to

    which means mid-2011 or via free agency. They’ve signed up Holliday and assembled a murderer’s row that by definition cannot possibly improve if Pujols leaves.

    And even if they got Howard to sign-and-trade at well below what they’d be paying Pujols, he’d be on the wrong side of 30, demanding a lengthy, still-expensive contract. If I were the Cards, I’d take king’s ransom in prospects and younger players if I knew I couldn’t ink Pujols.

    Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show

    by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Mar 15, 2010 12:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Also, the notion that the Cardinals

    would ever trade Pujols before the deadline in 2011, if at all, is ludicrous.

    Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show

    by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Mar 15, 2010 12:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

    the really big deal

    Once, the Tigers and Indians traded Harvey Kuenn for Rocky Colavito. That was a big deal at the time, involving two stars. Nobody profited, obviously, in the pennant race.

    Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson traded wives back in about 1965.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 12:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I heard this was

    soon to be made into a movie. Anyone else hear about it?

    A Pete Rose by any other name would still smell of cheap hookers and pinetar.

    by Pops Daniels on Mar 15, 2010 12:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Good, another role for Costner

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 12:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

    actually it was 1973

    a big deal at the time

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 12:52 PM EDT up reply actions  

    here's the link

    about the movie

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 12:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Pattie Boyd'd

    Alway the optimist...I like your think kid...

    by boobs on Mar 15, 2010 12:54 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Good for Maloney

    If Owings keeps it up, Matty shouldn’t have a problem nailing down the fifth spot.

    by ken on Mar 15, 2010 11:13 AM EDT reply actions  

    And that word is: Loser

    A Pete Rose by any other name would still smell of cheap hookers and pinetar.

    by Pops Daniels on Mar 15, 2010 12:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

    "There's just one word that sums it all up in America."

    “And that one word is, ‘You just never know.’”

    -Joaquin Andujar

    "The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville

    by bbjones on Mar 15, 2010 8:56 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Joaquin Andujar: (and Pops once upon a time)

    Cocaine? Yes, please.

    A Pete Rose by any other name would still smell of cheap hookers and pinetar.

    by Pops Daniels on Mar 15, 2010 10:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

    You do realize that in 3 apperances Wells has only thrown 4 innings?

    they really don’t seem to be stretching him out for the rotation.

    The Reds want Wells to pitch alongside Lehr in AAA and be the veteran presence for the Bats pitching staff.

    Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.

    by justin007000 on Mar 15, 2010 1:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Justin Lehr, rotation savior!

    Methinks I’ll be losing my Kip Wells bet as 5th SP.

    Now I need to figure out the other roster bet I have going. I’m sure someone will remind me. Probably obc and jch.

    by Highlifeman21 on Mar 15, 2010 3:56 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I am itching for the season to begin

    but I am worried that come May 1st, I may have more fingers than the Reds have runs scored.

    by jacob brumfield on Mar 15, 2010 11:24 AM EDT reply actions  

    Alfonseca/d

    A Pete Rose by any other name would still smell of cheap hookers and pinetar.

    by Pops Daniels on Mar 15, 2010 12:11 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

    Ryan Howard- same area code as Pujols...

    Howard IS from St. Louis, isn’t he?

    "People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."

    by crolfer on Mar 15, 2010 11:27 AM EDT reply actions  

    Howard is from St. Louis

    You are correct.

    Apparently within the rumor, Howard would be cheaper to have under contract in a hometown discount of sorts.

    And Howard’s younger than Pujols.

    by Highlifeman21 on Mar 15, 2010 12:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Pujols is younger

    he was born Jan 16 1980, Howard on Nov 19 1979

    by Charlie Scrabbles on Mar 15, 2010 12:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Pujols is probably in his mid-40's.

    "People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."

    by crolfer on Mar 15, 2010 1:05 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Come on, you really think Pujols is younger than Howard?

    I mean really?

    Rafael Furcal aged 4 years a couple years ago when Congress cracked down on Hispanic immigrants, just sayin’…

    by Highlifeman21 on Mar 15, 2010 3:58 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Doesn't mean it's true for all DR guys

    Plus, unlike Furcal, Pujols went to a US HS and Community College.

    by ken on Mar 15, 2010 5:52 PM EDT up reply actions  

    nope, all Dominicans are liars

    except the ones that we like!

    Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter

    by Slyde on Mar 15, 2010 6:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I thought that was Cretans.

    "The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville

    by bbjones on Mar 15, 2010 8:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

    So...

    Perhaps is is Ray-Moan that is dating Dusty’s daughter?

    "People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."

    by crolfer on Mar 15, 2010 11:28 AM EDT reply actions  

    Dusty Baker had some interesting things to say about the team yesterday

    No. 1, you’ve got to try to get the guys most ready that you know are going north with you – not that you hope are going north with you. Or I should say east."

    No. 2 I need to have a talk with my daughter to confirm the development of a couple of guys who are on the bubble

    Gleet:The chronic morbid discharge as from the nostrils of horses.

    by Madville on Mar 15, 2010 11:37 AM EDT reply actions  

    I don't get his infatuation with Ramon

    but Dusty is on somewhat sound statistical footing. Ramon has historically hit better in high leverage situations, late/close games and with RISP. So if there’s a “clutch,” Ramon probably qualifies.

    But that’s only relative to his own hitting. I’d still rather have Votto, Rolen or Bruce at the plate.

    Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show

    by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Mar 15, 2010 11:52 AM EDT up reply actions  

    right

    it’s like having a problem child that acts marginally better when grandma is around. he may be a bit less terrible, but he’s still a little devil.

    by Charlie Scrabbles on Mar 15, 2010 11:59 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Someone please photoshop Ramon's face onto this!

    It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. -Aristotle

    by nycredsfan on Mar 15, 2010 1:17 PM EDT up reply actions  

    el diablo es embrague!

    It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. -Aristotle

    by nycredsfan on Mar 15, 2010 2:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I saw this and thought Ramon Harris

    The only true Razor

    Some say a comet will fall from the sky. Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
    Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still. Followed by millions of dumbfounded dips**ts.

    by btcoop71 on Mar 15, 2010 2:33 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

    I kind of like the nickname..

    but only ’cause it reminds me of Gristle McThornbody and Punch Rockgroin.

    by Matt McWax on Mar 15, 2010 12:05 PM EDT reply actions  

    Or Pat McGroin

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 12:30 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Punch Rockgroin - I think I went school with him...

    Gleet:The chronic morbid discharge as from the nostrils of horses.

    by Madville on Mar 15, 2010 10:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Your wrong

    Howard gets a lot of crap. Because he can’t hit lefties he comes up short in late inning situations frequently. His whiff-fest in the last WS didn’t help. Utley gets all the love, as he should.

    by ken on Mar 15, 2010 1:17 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Thats racist!

    Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show

    by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Mar 15, 2010 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Wow...

    Umm… That’s just pathetic. I think we should have Slyde write Mr. Conlin… The results would be amusing.

    "People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."

    by crolfer on Mar 15, 2010 1:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Or JinAZ... or anyone from this site...

    "People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."

    by crolfer on Mar 15, 2010 1:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Buster Olney is such a toolbag.

    I feel like 95% of the things he writes you can immediately dismiss as completely not based in reality. I don’t know if he has sources that just like to fuck with him or if he just makes shit up and hopes that maybe something will stick, but this entire offseason he’s been “reporting” things that make absolutely no sense. I don’t really see why he still has a job.

    by Geki on Mar 15, 2010 12:24 PM EDT reply actions  

    Olney fits the mold

    I think the greatest imposters for “inside baseball” are in the Chicago area, though. The guys who blog there are trying to stay one-up on the beat writers, who are in competition with each other for readers for two teams. It’s a circus. Zambrano is leaving the Cubs, btw, for Cincy on Friday. They get Aaron Miles back.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 12:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

    If Fox News had a sports beat,

    I’m sure Olney would be their man.

    A Pete Rose by any other name would still smell of cheap hookers and pinetar.

    by Pops Daniels on Mar 15, 2010 12:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

    He's Palin in comparison

    Yeah, those guys and the Cincinnati Reds. They're a terrible football team. / Because they're a baseball team? / Exactly. You know who's the worst football team? The Philadelphia Flyers. - Best Show

    by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Mar 15, 2010 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Or this guy

    I remember hearing some audio clips of this clown.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 12:47 PM EDT up reply actions  

    He is the one who reported the Reds might want Gary Matthews Jr.

    It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. -Aristotle

    by nycredsfan on Mar 15, 2010 1:17 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I still shudder at the thought

    Mainly because I can still see Dusty lobbying for it.

    by New Red Machine on Mar 15, 2010 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I would guess ...

    … Olney is one of those guys who sits around and decides that people don’t want to hear about baseball. Probably thinks it’s boring, so that means America knows what he’s thinking and agrees.

    So he isn’t unlike everyone else who wants to take credit for the source of the national discussion. Well, so far … guess what? It worked. Now we all pay attention to this guy, even if it is just to ridicule him.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 1:43 PM EDT up reply actions  

    speaking of nicknames

    Did we settle on anything for Cabrera? I can’t stomach the notion of another O-Cab.
    I came onto Orca as a personal favorite. Everything else seems like Clutch-Man-Cabbie.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 12:26 PM EDT reply actions  

    He could be The OC

    but I feel dirty saying that.

    "If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third." --Tommy Lasorda(on catcher Mide Scioscia)

    by chazzilla on Mar 15, 2010 12:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Orlando Cabrissian

    Or Jessica Lange.

    "Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."

    by Fat Vegas Alan on Mar 15, 2010 1:02 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I love that, but I know I'll never actually type it all out

    then he just becomes OC, which I’m not down with.

    It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. -Aristotle

    by nycredsfan on Mar 15, 2010 1:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

    By officially,

    do we have the replica team jersey with that on it?

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 1:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

    you're GONNA get it

    Alway the optimist...I like your think kid...

    by boobs on Mar 15, 2010 1:51 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

    right

    but what does orca have to with a basketball coach?

    by Charlie Scrabbles on Mar 15, 2010 1:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Tubby

    Alway the optimist...I like your think kid...

    by boobs on Mar 15, 2010 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Orlando

    Alway the optimist...I like your think kid...

    by boobs on Mar 15, 2010 1:56 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

    oh

    so Tubby’s real first name is Orlando. you just wasted 4 minutes of my life and i want them back.

    eh, i’d only waste them anyway…

    by Charlie Scrabbles on Mar 15, 2010 2:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Robot Chicken'd.

    "Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."

    by Fat Vegas Alan on Mar 15, 2010 2:02 PM EDT up reply actions  

    That pisses Tubby off

    Some say a comet will fall from the sky. Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
    Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still. Followed by millions of dumbfounded dips**ts.

    by btcoop71 on Mar 15, 2010 2:37 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

    So, who enters this in the official Wiki page?

    or does it require a vote of the complete council before it’s signed, sealed and shuttered?

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 2:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Tubby, it is

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 2:05 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Twisted...twisted...twisted

    Love it John

    Gleet:The chronic morbid discharge as from the nostrils of horses.

    by Madville on Mar 15, 2010 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I second this

    Some say a comet will fall from the sky. Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
    Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still. Followed by millions of dumbfounded dips**ts.

    by btcoop71 on Mar 15, 2010 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

    yabbit

    OC is really not a nickname. “Ace” would be a nickname. “Scooter” would be a nickname. Just your inits … well, it’s better than O-Cab, I reckon. Carry on.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 1:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

    when was the last time ...

    you saw somebody who owed their taxis ever die?

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 1:31 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I go for Pudge

    but the jerk at work says we can’t use Pudge twice, which forged the reason some of my coworkers and I decided to refer to Chapman as Pudge. I think having two Pudges on the team would be all right, don’t you?

    Maybe Fudge would be OK to avoid confusion.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 1:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I love Lando

    my roommate freshman year was named Luke, and the first day of college he went around telling everyone to call him Luke Skywalker, so of course everyone called him Lando instead. Everytime he would enter a room, everyone would shout LAAAAAANNDOOOOOO! at the top of their lungs.

    Making that his nickname would make me very happy.

    It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. -Aristotle

    by nycredsfan on Mar 15, 2010 2:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

    You're the greatest Lando!

    Yeah, we never spontaneously broke out into song and dance until you got here!

    I be so turned up, I be swaggin to da max

    by coocooforcocoapuffs on Mar 15, 2010 4:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I suppose SeaWorld folks might be a little shaky on that one.

    But it came to mind.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 1:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Big fat guy. I mean like OrCa fat

    Alway the optimist...I like your think kid...

    by boobs on Mar 15, 2010 1:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

    how about

    El Gato Grande?

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

    or just tubby

    Alway the optimist...I like your think kid...

    by boobs on Mar 15, 2010 1:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

    upper case on that?

    or down?

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 1:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

    upper case, if you use those things

    Alway the optimist...I like your think kid...

    by boobs on Mar 15, 2010 1:51 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Tabby?

    All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

    by BubbaFan on Mar 15, 2010 1:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

    ooo, another cat in the fight!

    This gets better.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 1:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Tabby

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 1:57 PM EDT up reply actions  

    you know what you call a thousand orcas?

    a kilo-whale.

    BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    "The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville

    by bbjones on Mar 15, 2010 9:02 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

    a what?

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 9:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Three elephants jump off a cliff. Two hit the land, one hits the water.

    Ba-dum, chssssh

    "People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."

    by crolfer on Mar 15, 2010 9:48 PM EDT up reply actions  

    nifty sound effects on this completely

    senseless slaughter of East Asian beasts of burden.
    Let’s hope this only plays out in a fiction, that no real animals were harmed in the presentation of this anecdote.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 16, 2010 1:39 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Can't talk long-

    PETA’s after me, again.

    "People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."

    by crolfer on Mar 16, 2010 9:23 AM EDT up reply actions  

    END

    I remember seeing Francisco called ‘El Nino Destructor’ some last season and all of this offseason. Now this may be a stupid question, but where did the moniker come from? Is there a story behind it?

    by DocRam on Mar 15, 2010 1:13 PM EDT via mobile reply actions  

    amazing!

    That is absolutely the most creative entry EVER about the Wagon and END.
    This is why I love the RR blog!

    MORE!

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 1:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

    ROAR!

    "The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville

    by bbjones on Mar 15, 2010 9:04 PM EDT up reply actions  

    no roaring from the back, please

    heckling, that’s OK
    mocking, ridiculing, insulting, debasing … fine, fine, fine, fine

    but please
    NO ROARING.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 9:17 PM EDT up reply actions  

    yes, the clutch

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 2:02 PM EDT up reply actions  

    " It's probably best for him to learn all the life-living stuff somewhere like Zebulon instead of Cincinnati."

    I’m in favor of Chapman starting in the minors and all, but I’m against impugning the guy’s ability to tie his shoes and look both ways bedore crossing the street. He wasn’t born yesterday.

    Chapman: “Dusty’s a fine player’s manager and all, and he knows enough to read a line up card correctly 98% of the time. But, I mean, he’s never even been to Andorra.”

    by Brian B on Mar 15, 2010 2:21 PM EDT via mobile reply actions  

    I have never been to Andorra either

    … so connect me to Aroldis Chapman, please.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions  

    alls im sayin' is that the kid has a lot of adjustments to make

    on and off the field. and it’s probably best to not make him do them both all at once. especially with the hype that would ensue if he were to make the roster. it’s unreasonable.

    by Charlie Scrabbles on Mar 15, 2010 4:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

    agreed

    also, it’s easier for a foreigner to adjust to a larger city than some small town in BFE. you encounter far more people that have been places and have exposure to other cultures. i’m sure most of the population of zebulon hasn’t left the state of north carolina, which could make it tough to adjust due to their lack of understanding about other cultures.

    i mean, just to use a personal example, i feel uncomfortable as hell outside of beirut (largely due to my gender and passport being frowned upon.) i have an advantage because i know a lot about the region and some of the language, but for a cuban who’s been sheltered from anything american and knows no english, it’s gotta be tough. he has, though, played in international tournaments, so he’s been around a bit. that should help.

    not that he’s gonna be in zebulon for very long…

    by Daedalus on Mar 16, 2010 5:52 AM EDT up reply actions  

    he's also an instant millionaire

    you can do a lot less terrible things with few mill in Zebulon than you can in Cincinnati. Or at least stand a better likelihood of getting caught if you do.

    Not that the Matador is the kind of guy who would do terrible things, but if you gave me a million dollars and work once in 5 days, I would be living large.

    "And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander

    by Cy Schourek on Mar 16, 2010 9:06 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Wow. That really seems closed-minded

    So, you’ve never been to Zebulon, but you’re making assumptions as to the experiences of the people who live there?

    Before the curse of stastics fell upon mankind we lived a happy, innocent life, full of merriment and go and informed by fairly good judgement.

    -Hilaire Belloc

    by poojols on Mar 16, 2010 10:05 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Zebulon sounds hickish, but it is in the Triangle area

    Chapman could live in Raleigh, which wouldn’t be much different from Cincinnati.

    by ken on Mar 16, 2010 11:20 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Raleigh?

    Ugh- I have to go to history soon… Stupid Sir Walter…

    "People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."

    by crolfer on Mar 16, 2010 11:27 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Zebulon is suburbia.

    I think they have all the amenities, including cable TV and a paved road.
    Their ballpark is part of a larger metro corporate project.

    Nothing can compete with the W. Tenn. franchise. Cheesh!

    I don’t know how much night life young players actually do these days. Some/many/most are pretty atuned to their health, but I guess chasing skirts at 2 a.m. is the same anyplace.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 16, 2010 11:55 AM EDT up reply actions  

    im not arguing that Zebulon is better for Aroldis because it's smaller and has (im assuming) less night life

    im arguing that Zebulon is better for him because he wont have the media circus, the hoards of fans watching his every move, and the pressure of performing at the big league level, all while learning a new culture. Zebulon is likely no better or worse culturally, but the pressure would be muuuuuch lower.

    by Charlie Scrabbles on Mar 16, 2010 11:49 AM EDT up reply actions  

    I don't know if it is easier for all foreigners to adjust to large cities rather

    I talked to a few Cubans, who actually left Cuba, got to Miami, spent a year or two there, thought everything moved too fast, couldn’t adjust, and returned to Cuba. I think really it depends on the person.

    Honestly though he has been in America for several months now, so I don’t think the difference between Zebulon, Dayton, Louisville, or Cincinnati will be that much of a shock.

    Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.

    by justin007000 on Mar 16, 2010 2:43 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Moreover

    as I tried to explain to you before, you’re very confused about where the team actually is.

    That’s perfectly okay and pretty common, especially here, since it’s not all that obvious. But still. You might want to avoid generalizing about the place given your lack of knowledge about it.

    Let me write out a formal proof for you.

    by Gray on Mar 16, 2010 5:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I enjoyed the quotes from Homer.

    I just realized how much I have overlooked his maturation. I hope it continues because it would really be awesome if a Reds pitcher draft pick from the first round turned out to be an all-star.

    I be so turned up, I be swaggin to da max

    by coocooforcocoapuffs on Mar 15, 2010 4:22 PM EDT reply actions  

    I know the hitters are trying to refine their strokes

    but you don’t hear people talking about that.

    The baseball-bat collision is violent and involves large forces which act over a very short time and which compress the ball to a fraction of its normal size. -- Alan M. Nathan

    by johnu1 on Mar 15, 2010 8:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

    yeah i didnt rec it

    that joke was obviously implied in your comment. whoever rec’d slyde’s comment is STUPID!!!

    Alway the optimist...I like your think kid...

    by boobs on Mar 15, 2010 9:56 PM EDT up reply actions  

    jch has 3 accounts?

    "aaron harnann is so aweseom" - justin

    by BK on Mar 15, 2010 11:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I didn't rec it, you cuaffle

    So there.

    "They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod

    by jch24 on Mar 15, 2010 11:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

    I know you didn't

    Why make fun of 3 people when I can make fun of you much easier?

    "aaron harnann is so aweseom" - justin

    by BK on Mar 15, 2010 11:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Lazy ass

    You should be working on some original content.

    "They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod

    by jch24 on Mar 16, 2010 12:57 AM EDT up reply actions  

    becuase you never will.

    Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.

    by justin007000 on Mar 16, 2010 1:32 AM EDT up reply actions  

    rec'd!

    1,000,000,000,000,000,000 bucks says JCH rec’d it.

    He rec’s every slyde post.

    /brownnose’d

    by 'tHan on Mar 16, 2010 8:58 AM EDT up reply actions  

    Wow

    You’re dumber ’tHan you look.

    "They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod

    by jch24 on Mar 16, 2010 8:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Slyde: "hey guys"

    JCH: “OMG OMG You are soooooo funnyy!!! REC’D REC’D REC’D!!!!! I love you!”

    by 'tHan on Mar 17, 2010 8:53 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

    you know what, ewok? Your right.

    "They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod

    by jch24 on Mar 17, 2010 12:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

    ha ha ha!

    it’s funny ‘cause it’s true! i love comedians that just talk about what they see!

    by Charlie Scrabbles on Mar 17, 2010 5:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

    Comments For This Post Are Closed


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