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Fantasy Camp Update: Pitching Ain't So Hard, As Long As You Wear A Cup

The Toyota Recalls

The Toyota Recalls

The final day of games began with me ruing the decision to participate in this camp at all.  I woke this morning lacking energy or motivation to go through with another double-header, and the only thing that didn't hurt on me was my left arm, which I really don't use. We got to the park and immediately hit the hot tub to loosen up, and the day started to get a little bit better.

Our morning games start about 10 AM, and typically the weather has been a little bit chilly every morning - say 55 degrees or so - so it's important to get stretched out as much as possible.  I really only have two places that I've hurt - my ankle, which is purple and my groin which was slightly strained - but I ache all over.  So, I spent part of the morning before the game in the trainer's room with 10-15 of my closest friends getting taped up around my ankle.  Then I spent the remaining time stretching my legs in every direction possible.  By about 10:15, I actually felt reasonably comfortable.  I couldn't run, but it didn't hurt to just stand there.

We were the 6th seed in the playoffs, or the 2nd seed in the consolation bracket, so we got to be the home team in our first game.  We took on Tom Browning and Kent Mercker's team, who we had beat yesterday 2-0 as our pitcher threw a 1-hitter and hit a triple to spark our 2-run rally in the 7th.  We started our other big gun in today's game, and he was nearly unhittable for 4 innings as we built up a 3-run lead, but he pulled himself out early because frankly the games just don't mean that much.  Yesterday's star pitcher came in and was much more hittable and the other team managed to score 6 runs off of him in the final 3 innings.  As has been the case with our team, we never were able to get another rally going and once we got down, we were done.  The loss meant we would play for 7th place in the afternoon.

As for me, I made a tweak to my batting stance, spreading out my legs a little bit more and it made all of the difference in the world.  I hit a hard ground ball to short in my first AB, but there was a runner on base and a force out was made to end the inning.  In my second AB, I hit a flyball to left center (see video after the jump) and probably could have gotten a double out of it, but my legs hurt and it forced me to run like a cripple (see video after the jump).  My third AB was a line drive up the middle that I got a single on.  After waiting the whole week to get a hit out of the infield, I got 2 in consecutive at bats.  It felt good.

Star-divide

My batting stance is still a little awkward, but it got me a couple of hits this morning:

Compare my stance to my brother's. I'm convinced athleticism is not genetic...

In the afternoon game, I expected to start the game on the mound, but we switched things up just before game time and I started out in left field. I did come out to pitch at the start of the 2nd inning to protect my team's 3-run lead. (NOTE: We had decided that since the game didn't really matter, we'd only play 3 innings unless there was a tie).  I felt good loosening up on the mound.  I'm nothing special, but I kept the ball around the plate, which is all you need to do at RFC.  However, I had never pitched to an actual batter before in my life.  Ever.

So, I was very happy that my first pitch was over the plate, until the hitter swung and made solid contact, shooting a liner back up the middle on a straight line for my crotch. Somehow, and believe me I have no idea how this happened, I was able to not only get my glove in the way of the ball, but I was able to catch the ball, saving my family jewels from impending doom.  And just like that, one pitch, one very dangerous out. As Lee May said after the game, thankfully I caught that ball or they'd be picking my nuts up in center field.

The next two batters popped up to the catcher and weakly grounded out back to me.  Three batters, three outs.  This pitching stuff is easy.

The next inning started out much the same way.  The first batter grounded out the 1B.  The second batter grounded out to second base.  Then things got dicey. Actually, I should say that's right when the top of their order came to the plate and suddenly I wasn't throwing weak stuff to weak hitters anymore. Three straight singles later, I was struggling and my shoulder was starting to burn. The next hitter lined the ball into left center, scoring all three runners as the batter ended up at third base.  Well, there goes that lead.

My pitching style is unconventional, but it sort of got the job done:

I did manage to get the third out in the inning, a pop out to shortstop, I believe.  But after 3 innings the game was tied. We decided to keep playing, and though my team was unable to plate any runs in the 4th, I did manage to get beaned in the buttocks, upping my on base percentage to .417 (6 hits, 3 BB, 1 HBP in 24 plate apperances).  Unfortunately, that number isn't really all that impressive (our leading hitter batted .650), but I'm still happy with it.

I didn't pitch in the 4th inning and we went on to lose the game on an inside the park walk-off home run - the key at this point in the week was to hit it past the outfielder who could no longer run. 

Alas, a week that started with such promise ended with us as the 8th place team. Oh well, we had fun.

Tomorrow, every team gets to play 3 innings against the pros.  Since we were the last place team, we're the last team that gets to play against the former players, which may be a blessing since they will have already played 21 innings at that point.  Apparently the pros take it very serious.  They'll give you one pitch down the middle, but if you don't hit it, forget about it, they're going to destroy you.  I'm actually looking forward to it.

Hopefully I'll have a recap for you after the game. Who knows, I might even get a chance to pitch to them. That could be ugly.

1 recs  |  Comment 51 comments |

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Comments

Display:

Heh

I took a self-defense course once. The instructor warned us not to try to kick an attacker in the nuts. Sure, it always works on TV, but in real life, men instinctively protect that area, and have amazing reflexes when in comes to blows directed there.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 4, 2010 11:37 PM EST reply actions  

Until you are married

"Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs."
Alfred Hitchcock 1899 - 1980

by Madville on Feb 4, 2010 11:42 PM EST up reply actions  

I have yet to reflexively block a blow to the nuttal area

"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod

by jch24 on Feb 5, 2010 12:11 AM EST up reply actions  

You drilled that fucker..

That would have been out of GABP
Memories of Kirk Gibson, although he’s not as ‘cut’ as you – Just substitute #23 Slyde for #23 Gibson – it works
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULq3Pg6GNAE&feature=related

"Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs."
Alfred Hitchcock 1899 - 1980

by Madville on Feb 4, 2010 11:41 PM EST reply actions  

FUCK YOU AND YOUR 55 DEGREE CHILLINESS

"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod

by jch24 on Feb 5, 2010 12:10 AM EST reply actions  

Rec'd to hell and back for the reference

"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod

by jch24 on Feb 5, 2010 12:20 AM EST up reply actions  

Great post.

I’m loving this.

What did you expect? It's the internet. Some of us are full of crap.

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 5, 2010 12:21 AM EST reply actions  

Damn you, you ruined my prediction because you were sore?

I’m so jealous of you right now it’s killing me. I need to find a way to do this, and soon. Before I get all old and shit.

"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod

by jch24 on Feb 5, 2010 12:23 AM EST reply actions  

Your prediction was for Wed.

And I barely even hit the ball on Wed.

I’m planning on coming back in a couple of years. Start saving.

Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter

by Slyde on Feb 5, 2010 7:20 AM EST via mobile up reply actions  

Dammit

I wish I’d done this in my life, back when I could still do it.
Amazing. This is great. Thanks for sharing.

Thankfully, for idiots like you, our forefathers gave us the second commandment – the right say whatever you want no matter if you’re wrong. — Unknown, for the most part

by johnu1 on Feb 5, 2010 1:11 AM EST reply actions  

How old do you have to be for this?

I’m gonna go tear up Reds’ Fantasy camp

by Jake Liscow on Feb 5, 2010 2:14 AM EST reply actions  

same here

Me and my brother were talking about it, I think we could do extremely well

"strikeouts are a lot sexier than groundouts"

by smitty3 on Feb 5, 2010 6:24 AM EST up reply actions  

you have to be at least 30

And trust me, when you get to be 30, you’ll understand why.

Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter

by Slyde on Feb 5, 2010 7:16 AM EST via mobile up reply actions  

That's a disappointment

My body is gonna be useless when I’m 30

by Jake Liscow on Feb 8, 2010 4:16 PM EST up reply actions  

Not to eighty years who need a nice companion..

'The secret to chili is you gotta have good mooseburger in there."

Sarah Palin

by Madville on Feb 8, 2010 7:47 PM EST up reply actions  

Am I missing something, or is this sig material?

"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2010 9:11 PM EST up reply actions  

Shit

I was trying to reply to the comment: My body is gonna be useless when I’m 30

However it should have read: Not to eighty year olds who need a nice companion..

gigolo opps…

I need to slow down when using the computer keyboard…either that or stop taking so much acid.

'The secret to chili is you gotta have good mooseburger in there."

Sarah Palin

by Madville on Feb 8, 2010 10:39 PM EST up reply actions  

That's great stuff Slyde!!

Though the guys filming you pitching had a little fun at your expense:

“It has to reach the plate before you can hit it.”

Heh.

The season doesn't start until the Cincinnati Reds take the field! Reclaim The Opener!!

by TheC on Feb 5, 2010 9:21 AM EST reply actions  

I actually think it was the hitter who said that

I talked to him after the game and he said he thought I was throwing it a lot harder to the previous hitters. I guess I’m deceptively slow.

Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter

by Slyde on Feb 5, 2010 9:56 AM EST up reply actions  

Well...

If you could throw hard and continue to look that good doing it, you wouldn’t be writing a baseball blog – you’d be written about in a baseball blog. Plus you can hit too! Good hitting pitchers seems to excite Reds’ fans.

The season doesn't start until the Cincinnati Reds take the field! Reclaim The Opener!!

by TheC on Feb 5, 2010 12:16 PM EST up reply actions  

ive got 4 years to get myself in shape for this

that gives me 3 years and 50 weeks to procrastinate. plenty of time.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 5, 2010 10:13 AM EST reply actions  

I thought I should show you this picture

It’s from a blog of another player on my team. This is Brad “The Animal” Lesley during our last Kangaroo Court. And yes, it’s pretty much what it looks like…

Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter

by Slyde on Feb 5, 2010 10:54 AM EST reply actions  

I looks like the stripper you ordered

was a bit of a rip-off.

I suppose I'm cast as the darkness, because I comprehended their light not at all; at least not in the way they wanted me to.

by Pops Daniels on Feb 5, 2010 12:08 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

The security guard is totally checking out his/her ass!

He must have a premium dumper.

What did you expect? It's the internet. Some of us are full of crap.

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 5, 2010 12:09 PM EST up reply actions  

I would tell you I am jealous of the experience

but that would totally undersell the rampaging green feelings I have over something I have always wanted to do and am probably too old to do at this point. SIgh.

But I’m glad to live somewhat vicariously through your experience, Glad you got to do it!

"I'd walk through hell in a gasoline suit to play baseball" - Pete Rose

by Officer Dibble on Feb 6, 2010 2:10 PM EST reply actions  

Too old?

The average age is nearly 50, and I had 3 teammates in their 60s. There’s no such thing as too old.

Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter

by Slyde on Feb 6, 2010 2:28 PM EST up reply actions  

Testify!!!

"Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs."
Alfred Hitchcock 1899 - 1980

by Madville on Feb 6, 2010 5:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Stupid weather

Flight’s been delayed 2.5 hours. Gonna be a long afternoon.

Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter

by Slyde on Feb 6, 2010 2:29 PM EST reply actions  

/airport bar'ed

What did you expect? It's the internet. Some of us are full of crap.

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 6, 2010 2:44 PM EST up reply actions  

Lee May has been knocking them back for an hour

he didn’t even realize our flight had been delayed. Even money that he’s asleep at the bar in the next hour.

Red Reporter or follow on Twitter: @redreporter

by Slyde on Feb 6, 2010 2:48 PM EST up reply actions  

When he passes out, change the M to a G on his uniform

It’ll be hilarious!!!

"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod

by jch24 on Feb 6, 2010 3:05 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Then tell him he's been traded again

because Cincinnati has a low tolerance for that kind of “lifestyle choice.”

I suppose I'm cast as the darkness, because I comprehended their light not at all; at least not in the way they wanted me to.

by Pops Daniels on Feb 6, 2010 5:17 PM EST up reply actions  

What not another Uppity Negro...

"Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs."
Alfred Hitchcock 1899 - 1980

by Madville on Feb 6, 2010 5:34 PM EST up reply actions  

/blazing saddl'd

“They said you was hung!”
“And they was RIGHT!”

I'd take a one legged midget over Shayne Graham in a heartbeat. - btcoop71

by ZJiff30 on Feb 6, 2010 8:46 PM EST up reply actions  

Whatever happened to Cleavon Little....

http://vodpod.com/watch/274425-blazing-saddles-1-farting-cowboys

"Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs."
Alfred Hitchcock 1899 - 1980

by Madville on Feb 6, 2010 9:15 PM EST reply actions  

Died in 1992.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleavon_Little

Education is what you get from reading the directions. Experience is what you get from not reading them.

by snohio on Feb 7, 2010 10:17 AM EST up reply actions  

Kudos Slyde

Glad you got some hits and got to toe the rubber. I played a lot of ball a long, long time ago but had very limited experience on the mound. It sure was a lot more difficult than I imagined back in the day.

90 feet is a lot longer in person than on the tube, isnt it?

You wore batting gloves at the dish and didnt flash the knee high socks? Im a tad disappointed. Jealous? You betcha!

"Life is good....life is good...life is good..life is good" jch

by obc2 on Feb 6, 2010 9:16 PM EST reply actions  

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