SIS - Worst Movie Edition
by jch24 on Feb 25, 2010 9:01 AM EST
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Inspired by muffins' comment in another thread, I ask you fine people - what is the worst movie you've ever seen and why?
For this cinematic aficionado (yeah, that's the ticket), I nominate Serpent & The Rainbow and Wendigo, as they're the only two movies I can remember completely bailing on. I can usually zone out and amuse myself somehow.
EXTRA CREDIT: If you had to suggest one newer movie for me to watch, what would it be and why?
Please note: My exposure to crappy movies is limited as I'm not a big movie watcher. I'm also aware that this has probably been covered on the site somewhere/sometime before, I don't care. We have a lot of new folks milling around and I'd like to hear their opinion.
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Last movie I walked out on was Full Frontal
Way too much Hollywood navel-gazing for my taste. And talk about a misleading title!
Pretty much any movie on Sci-Fi (Syfy?) Saturday afternoon
Vampires: Los Muertos – staring Bon Jovi
Leviathan – best last line of a movie ever: “Say ‘ahh’ MOTHER FUCKER!”
Mansquito – best taunting of the antagonist: “Hey! Mansquito!”
C.H.U.D. 2: Bud the Chud – tremendous zombie work
Pterodactyl – starring Coolio
I could go on.
Calmer than you are.
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Feb 25, 2010 9:20 AM EST reply actions
I'd forgotten about 'Leviathan.'
It was bad. And IIRC it was one of those really dumb sci-fi/horror movies that never really resigned itself to being a really dumb sci-fi horror movie.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 9:27 AM EST up reply actions
Yeah, it had no idea where it wanted to go.
But the guy from RoboCop kept trying to make it a respectable horror / drama movie.
Fail.
Calmer than you are.
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Feb 25, 2010 9:29 AM EST up reply actions
Reminds me of 'Outbreak.'
I remember thinking that it would have been a lot better movie (more original, anyway) if the A-list cast would have just gone completely campy with that script.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 9:33 AM EST up reply actions
Manquito sounds like a great premise
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
One of the best (worst) movies to watch on a Saturday whilst drinking.
Calmer than you are.
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Feb 25, 2010 9:41 AM EST up reply actions
I'm totally looking that up in my cable guide tonight
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Did you have any luck locating Mansquito?
Saturday afternoon may be your best bet.
Calmer than you are.
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Feb 26, 2010 9:07 AM EST up reply actions
Nope, I looked a little bit but no luck
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
I wonder if it's on Netflix.
Keep looking, because when you find it you’ll be sucked in. Just make sure you have alcohol around and someone to laugh at it with.
Calmer than you are.
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Feb 26, 2010 9:29 AM EST up reply actions
I have both, thankfully
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
I had one on the other day while i surfed
It was a bunch of National Guard troops in a SW desert. They were being picked off by mutant looking guys living in old mines. There was a great scene where a guy is hanging off a cliff and one of the cave dudes lift one of his arms than hack it off. As his grip slips on the remaining arm, he waves bye-bye with the guys hacked off arm. How can anyone not like writing like that?
I've seen that movie!
It’s called “Cincinnati Reds at the Trade Deadline.”
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 11:03 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Oh, the horror....
The aforementioned Soy Cuba and The Swan Princess would make my list in a heartbeat. I’m also still mad that I spent money to see Meet Joe Black and Can’t Hardly Wait in the same year.
But my friends and I watched a lot of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in early college, so I’ve seen some true doozies, albeit with snarky commentary included. The only specific title I remember was Manos: Hands of Fate, which a lot of people consider the ultimate worst movie ever. I also remember several movies featuring Joe Estevez, Martin Sheen’s less accomplished brother.
Aaand I also worked at summer day camps for 3 years, so I got the pleasure of seeing such quality children’s cinema as Spy Kids 2, Scooby Doo 2, and Ice Age 2. Awesome.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 9:34 AM EST reply actions
Damnit, I forgot Meet Joe Black
I became an instant villain to the females in attendance when I laughed loudly when Pitt got creamed by the bus.
3.5 hours later I was trying to figure out a way to hang myself with licorice to end the entire experience. The things I’ve sacrificed for women in my life, jeez. :)
I think most animated films are pretty well done, I like that they aren’t limited by physical trappings.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
What?!
Brad Pitt getting hit by the bus was the only good part of that whole movie! Who says otherwise?
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 9:45 AM EST up reply actions
I got more than a couple of dirty looks when I LOL'd
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
well, I haven't seen that movie since 1998
But I really thought that was supposed to be funny.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 9:54 AM EST up reply actions
Yes!
Morbidly funny!
That moment in that movie was supposed to have shockingly KILLED Brad Pitt and every inclination that every woman might have that this is going to be a movie about how great it would be to date and fall in love with Brad Pitt.
But Pitt screwed it all up and still spent the rest of the movie asking every woman with a ticket to date him and fall in love with him.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 9:58 AM EST up reply actions
Certainly one of the most misguided.
I’ll stop now.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 10:21 AM EST up reply actions
I guess you've never seen
anything Channing Tatum is in.
That dude has got all the acting chops of a decking board. At least Brad Pitt was supposed to not have any emotions in MJB. This douche has no excuses
"Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan. That's good advice!"
Now that's an overstatement.
Not only have you seen a half dozen Keanu Reeves movies, but you’ve also seen more than a few episodes of Saved by the Bell.
Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move. - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 25, 2010 1:10 PM EST up reply actions
The dude that played Belding was Money!
Keanu’s acting is always pretty awful, but I think that’s just because he’s awful.
I used to see Belding at work all the time.
It’s like he hangs around NBC so no one will forget him.
Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move. - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 25, 2010 1:25 PM EST up reply actions
right
the “new class” was stupid. nothing at all like the original, which was a pillar of American popular art.
/sarcasm squiggle punctuation
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 25, 2010 1:27 PM EST up reply actions
i never been able to sit through an entire episode
so there’s one.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 25, 2010 1:30 PM EST up reply actions
not much
my schoolmates certainly loved the show
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 25, 2010 1:35 PM EST up reply actions
I'm 26
I think I’m the only person my age who’s never seen Saved by the Bell.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 1:39 PM EST up reply actions
You've never seen SBTB?
GET OUT. And take that no-good ragamuffin Scrabbles with you. Commies.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
It's okay Jessie!
Caffeine pills…..pshaw.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Clearly caffeine pills were the gateway to her career in Showgirls
by Highlifeman21 on Feb 25, 2010 4:08 PM EST up reply actions
I remember hearing about her scene in Showgirls
First thing I thought was, “Her? Really? Not Kelly or Lisa? DAMNIT!”
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Really changed watching Saved by the Bell for me after I saw Showgirls
I won’t lie, Jessie looked good in Showgirls
by Highlifeman21 on Feb 25, 2010 9:09 PM EST up reply actions
I would have preferred Lisa Turtle
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Another movie by Verhoeven.
He should stick to sci-fi.
Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move. - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 25, 2010 9:10 PM EST up reply actions
You also told me to get out
When I admitted to not having seen Major League. I see that you have very little power around here.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 1:43 PM EST up reply actions
No.
But I will, I promise. Eventually. And I’ll watch a Simpsons episode someday. Once I do those two things, I’ll be able to converse much better here.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 1:54 PM EST up reply actions
next thing you know
she’ll be talking about how she’s had a Coca-Cola!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 25, 2010 1:56 PM EST up reply actions
Dave Parker'ed
Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move. - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 25, 2010 2:30 PM EST up reply actions
I didn't watch The Simpson's until I was 20
I started watching them because my then girlfriend had them on DVD, so we would waste time watching The Simpsons.
Now I am kinda hooked. What is brilliant about The Simpsons is it has crude humor that will make a mouth breather like ’Than laugh, but it also has smart humor that intelligent people will only understand.
The best episode is about the Dental Plan.
Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.
by justin007000 on Feb 25, 2010 1:58 PM EST up reply actions
The ACT is a cowincidence and irrelephant
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
plant life
I did quite well on my GRE’s. How about you?
Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.
by justin007000 on Feb 25, 2010 2:10 PM EST up reply actions
i had no reason to take the GRE
However, if I ever scored lower than you on a standardized test, I would kill myself.
by 'tHan on Feb 25, 2010 2:11 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
well
i suck at slenderized tests.
I have a friend who bombed the GRE’s, much lower than mine. He is also the best scholar I know (who is a peer) and was just accepted to Northwestern’s Ph.D program.
Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.
by justin007000 on Feb 25, 2010 2:20 PM EST up reply actions
i don't know where slenderized camed from
but in all honesty; they used a number of standardized tests when they tested me for A.D.D. I was diagnosed with A.D.D. because I would score really high on a test one week, and I would take a different version of the same test 3 weeks later and score really low on it.
My tests scores tend to be like Bronson Arroyo’s pitching.
Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.
by justin007000 on Feb 25, 2010 2:23 PM EST up reply actions
That's not surprising, given your documented history of hot dog intake
"aaron harnann is so aweseom" - justin
by BK on Feb 25, 2010 2:24 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I would imagine Justin can't do all that well on standardized tests
Since you do have to spell your name correctly
That is, unless he has someone do it for him
by Highlifeman21 on Feb 25, 2010 4:17 PM EST up reply actions
/John Wall'd
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
You don't to have GRE until your 55 or older
Check for polyps and elongated colon…
Yu Na...if I were 40 years younger and single.
I can't believe
you haven’t seen an episode of the Simpsons. My office desk and home are covered in Simpsons related stuff.
If it was socially acceptable, I would wear my Homer slippers everywhere I went
tomacne?
Alway the optimist...I like your think kid...
by boobs on Feb 25, 2010 2:18 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
I don't care what everybody else says
You’re a funny guy, boobs.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 3:57 PM EST up reply actions
A guy here has the Homer promo statue from the cinemas when the movie came out
Jealous doesn’t begin to describe me. If I could figure out a way to swipe that bad boy before I leave, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
what? how?
i’m not a big TV person, but i’ve seen every episode of the simpsons first 15 years at least. when historians look back on the 20th century united states, the simpsons will be a defining part of the culture.
start with the baseball episode.
It took you this long to figure that out? :)
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Yes, listening to Justin is EXACTLY what she should do
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
I've made it this far in life
Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.
by justin007000 on Feb 25, 2010 1:58 PM EST up reply actions
And me, this far
Your point?
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
i give great advice
Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.
by justin007000 on Feb 25, 2010 2:03 PM EST up reply actions
Power Behind the Throne:
Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.
by justin007000 on Feb 25, 2010 1:55 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
ive seen it, in bits
many a schoolyard chum would force me into it after a sleepover and i’d end up leaving the room 5 minutes in to see what the dog was up to. the dog was most often sleeping, but always far more entertaining.
and jch is a fuckface.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 25, 2010 1:42 PM EST up reply actions
i have also never seen Saved by the Bell
Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.
by justin007000 on Feb 25, 2010 1:54 PM EST up reply actions
HEY! 'Meet Joe Black' is not a bad movie!
I’ll beat this drum until they lock me away!
Seriously, watch it again and assume the old man to be the main protagonist. He’s dying. He knows it. He’s angry about it but he’s always been a graceful gentleman and he doesn’t want his family to see him be anything but.
Ignore all those awkward/stupid Brad Pitt-eats-peanut-butter-for-the first-time ‘scene stealing’ moments. Because Brad Pitt is so likeable he gets in the way of the metaphor that (IMO) Anthony Hopkins wants him to play.. “Death is a know-nothing sombitch who’s is stealing my time with my gorgeous daughter. Her new know-nothing boyfriend better be able to take good care of her.”
Death is not her new boyfriend. Death just comes along at the same time as her new know-nothing boyfriend.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 9:53 AM EST up reply actions
And
When she speaks in her natural English accent, he appeal skyrockets. Check her out in Basquiat. Stunning.
A Pete Rose by any other name would still smell of cheap hookers and pinetar.
by Pops Daniels on Feb 26, 2010 12:11 PM EST up reply actions
Monos: Hands of Fate
is awesome.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 is some good stuff.
Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.
by justin007000 on Feb 25, 2010 1:15 PM EST up reply actions
Torgo!
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
You can call him that
But its kinda a jynx if you ask me. The actor took his own life after the movie premiered.
Aw
I really enjoyed Can’t Hardly Wait. The moment where the mic flies up from the bottom of the screen and the nerd grabs it to start belting “Paradise City”… classic. I also feel that, “God, you’re a hottie!” should be an acceptable way to introduce yourself.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 3:53 PM EST up reply actions
The Estevez movie was called Soultaker
I have every MST3k movie on my hard drive if anyone wants anything. just email me with your request, it’s no bother.
All time worst movie? Ramon Girl
New movie you should see? District 9 was awesome, Drag me to hell was super scary as well.
I've heard conflicting reports on district 9, and figured drag me would be silly, a la paranormal activity
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Drag Me is supposed to be silly though
Sort of vintage Sam Raimi. Corpse vomit features prominently in it. Plus, when I was watching Avatar and trying to remember where I’d seen that one guy before, it was in Drag Me to Hell.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 4:42 PM EST up reply actions
Dude,
that part with the old lady chewing on that girls face was by far the most disturbing thing I’ve seen in a while from a movie. And I’m a huge Raimi fan, so maybe that’s how they got me.
It's both silly and scary
A la vintage Raimi. Whereas Emo Spidey was terrifying for altogether different reasons.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 5:04 PM EST up reply actions
Estevez was definitely in more than one MST3K
But Soultaker was indeed one we watched. Wow.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 4:40 PM EST up reply actions
the worst movie of all time is easy
Riding in Cars With Boys.
Terrible in every way. Whiny, Boring, Long, Infuriating, and Stupid. It’s the most miserable viewing experience I have ever had.
The worst.
The Room.
We watched it simply because it was such a horrible movie.
"People don't kill people. Burning oreo packages kill people."
I've thought of more!
There Will Be Blood – I don’t know, people thought this was good. I thought it was horrendous, including Daniel Day-Lewis’s performance. No plot, no character development. All it had going for it was some pretty scenery and that “milkshake” line, which isn’t even that good in the movie’s context.
Feeling Minnesota – Cameron Diaz + Keanu Reeves = just what you’d expect.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 9:51 AM EST reply actions
I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!!!!
wtf is that all about?
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
I hadn't seen the movie
So I thought that skit that they did about drinking milkshakes on SNL was brilliant. Then I realized it was a line from the movie, and was much less impressed.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 4:01 PM EST up reply actions
I disagree with you about "There Will Be Blood"
And how could anyone not like “Can’t Hardly Wait”? Ridiculous.
"aaron harnann is so aweseom" - justin
by BK on Feb 25, 2010 1:26 PM EST up reply actions
You and a lot of people.
Sometimes I think I must have missed something big and important with There Will Be Blood. Other times I remember watching it.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 1:30 PM EST up reply actions
youre the first person ive ever heard say didnt like TWBB
i thought it was pretty easily the best movie of 2008, and i thought daniel day lewis’ performance was one of the best id ever seen. im sure im not the first person to make that argument to you though
Alway the optimist...I like your think kid...
Actually, no one's really challenged me on that. I'd love to hear why it's so great.
Aside from the four people I went to see it with (2 liked it, 2 hated it— no one explained why) I don’t know anyone else who’s see it. I don’t mind a movie having very little plot, but then I need to have believable characters who either grow or reveal more about their motivations over the course of the movie. Daniel D-L’s character was revealed as a greedy, conniving bastard from the first few minutes of the movie. What was the point of those 2+ hours, then?
The parts with his kid were mildly interesting. The fact that the same actor played two characters was unnecessarily confusing.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 1:52 PM EST up reply actions
paul dano is the worst part of the movie for me
i agree on that.
i pretty much loathe pseudo-intellectual movie analysis, but without overthinking it, i just found the whole thing really powerful. his character doesnt change at all, but i dont need that. i think you can throw it in a line of great-american-dream movies/books in which a character (SPOILER ALERT) becomes wildly rich and successful before alienating all of his friends and dying a lonely death (citizen kane, great gatsby). visually, its a beautiful movie. and i just like it
Alway the optimist...I like your think kid...
Fair enough.
It might have worked better for me if he didn’t start out as a jackass, or if we got some insight into his motivation besides “I’m a greedy jerk and always have been.” But we’re all entitled to our opinions.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 2:39 PM EST up reply actions
i adore TWBB
its a character study of a sociopath. its criticism of the destructive power of greed. it depicts the subtle interplay of power between two people. there is a subtext of the hypocrisy of organizaed religion. i think its one of the greatest acting performances ever. visually i find it stunning. opening a movie with 20 minutes of no dialogue takes massive balls.
a lot of people dont like this movie, i can understand. it doesnt do much of anything on the surface.
i think its the best movie of the past decade.
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand
Gatsby doesn't alienate his friends before he dies
If anything, he comes closest to getting an actual friend before he’s killed.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 4:03 PM EST up reply actions
thanks for ruining that book for me fellas
thanks a whole helluva lot
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 25, 2010 4:09 PM EST up reply actions
You know
There are some books that pop culture just assumes you’ve either read or already know the ending to, maybe unfairly. i had the end of Little Women spoiled for me several times before I managed to read it at, like, age 12. And Lost spoiled the end of Of Mice and Men for thousands of people last week, which sort of pissed me off.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 4:26 PM EST up reply actions
i think of mice and men counts in that category
anything that everyone was forced to read in high school english counts
Alway the optimist...I like your think kid...
Same here
I can’t imagine any reasonably educated adult hasn’t read Of Mice And Men.
I look forward to tackling it next week when it’s returned to the library.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Really?
I read it in college, but on my own, never for a class. I guess that’s unusual. Whatever. I’m still annoyed, probably because of my aforementioned experience with Little Women.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 4:34 PM EST up reply actions
yeah i know
i was joking more than anything. everyone knows the end of Gatsby. at least, those of us who have watched The Simpsons.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 25, 2010 4:34 PM EST up reply actions
dammit!
okay, so where can I watch this show online?
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 4:37 PM EST up reply actions
www.hulu.com
In theory. Everything works in theory muffins. Communism works in theory.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Yeah, well
You can only watch recent episodes on hulu, right?
Netflix is great for getting DVDs of the Simpsons from when they were particularly good…
Let me write out a formal proof for you.
DO NOT WATCH THE SIMPSONS ON HULU!
They only have the last five episodes, and I cannot stress enough how shitty the Simpsons has gotten. Watch anything from Seasons 3-10 (maybe 12), and it is absolute genius. Anything after that is worse than a catjacking.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 4:44 PM EST up reply actions
wow, ok.
I’ll refrain from the hulu-ing. Maybe the library has some DVDs.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 4:49 PM EST up reply actions
wtso.net
(watch the simpsons online) has every episode available for streaming. Obviously illegal if that hangs you up. They usually have the syndication versions of episodes where a joke or two is cut out.
Is there something wrong with season one?
That’s the only one the library has.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 5:24 PM EST up reply actions
It's ok, but the show hadn't really hit its stride
It’s trying a little too hard to be earnest or pass commentary, and the animation is pretty poor. With the next season or two, it all clicked for them, and the messages would slam home with much more force and it seemed like they weren’t even trying.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 5:32 PM EST up reply actions
yeah
Homer’s voice isn’t even at its stride yet in season I.
Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.
by justin007000 on Feb 25, 2010 8:14 PM EST up reply actions
hey, you're right!
There are 5 episodes there. Guess I’ll watch them. But, you know, I’ll kind of miss being an outsider on this.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 4:46 PM EST up reply actions
Go with Gray/Brendan's suggestion
Early seasons on DVD is probably the best way to go.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Yeah, never listen to jch24's recommendation.
He’s probably drunk.
Let me write out a formal proof for you.
Not yet, fuckface
See me in 5 hours.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
megavideo.com
they have just about every episode.
Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.
by justin007000 on Feb 25, 2010 8:13 PM EST up reply actions
Worst i've seen...
Mom and Dad Save the World – starring Lovitz, Teri Garr, Jeffrey Jones (the principal from Ferris Buehler and a child molester or something now), and Kathy Ireland’s first movie role…i think.
I love stupid movies as much as the next person but this was beyond awful…this movie dragged on for what seemed like forever without one single laugh. No amount of alcohol could’ve saved me.
Bonus for worst current movie: Paul Blart – I didn’t make it past the first 10 minutes
That was actually Kathy's 6th movie.
The only watchable thing she was in was the formulaic Necessary Roughness in 1991.
Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move. - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 25, 2010 1:14 PM EST up reply actions
And a number of Sports Illustrated issues
…and K-Mart advertisements.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 4:04 PM EST up reply actions
I'm not sure whether I should have included Starship Troopers
Because I couldn’t quite figure out if they were taking themselves seriously or not. I hear the book is great though.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
ugh. That is one of my candidates for worst movie ever.
Sad part is, my dad LOVES it. I don’t understand.
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
I couldn't enjoy that movie, and I was drunk
Again, I offended my fellow moviegoers by laughing incredulously at several parts.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
I thought it was supposed to campy.
But I remember that not everyone else did.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 10:24 AM EST up reply actions
It's a Paul Verhoeven sci-fi movie, the guy who directed Robocop and Total Recall.
Which means that it includes:
1. Futuristic gadgets in everyday life.
2. Communal showers/locker rooms, with no one noticing. (Missing from TR)
3. The use of nudity and sudden, gory violence as a tool to shock and manipulate the audience.
4. A feeling of never taking itself completely seriously, though seldom transparently so. The man makes movies, not films.
5. Large, scary machines and/or creatures attacking over-matched humans, often winning.
He’s one of my favorites. :)
Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move. - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 25, 2010 1:22 PM EST up reply actions
agreed
did you see Black Book? totally out of his element, but still well-executed.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 25, 2010 1:25 PM EST up reply actions
I haven't yet - forgot all about Zwartboek.
It’s on my hot list. First thing he’s written since Flesh+Blood in 1985. I haven’t yet seen Soldier of Orange, which is supposedly his opus. But I hate reading movies.
Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move. - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 25, 2010 1:33 PM EST up reply actions
havent seen either of those
i dont mind the sub-titles. it makes me feel like im in on a secret or something.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 25, 2010 1:38 PM EST up reply actions
LOVED Starship Troopers
RENTED it from Blockbuster multiple times after seeing it first on HBO.
by Brian B on Feb 25, 2010 3:48 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
That had a naked shower scene
and giant insects, right? Those are always two positives – wait, not always.
The nudity was the only redeeming quality, IIRC
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Naked insects bug me.
We Are ... Marshall!
by Thundering Turtle on Feb 25, 2010 1:48 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Speaking of which whatever happened to the Cheerleader draft post?
Man Thongs - The perfect male skater uni.
the book
was one of my favorites in my misspent youth.
I’m not sure how well it holds up. It has a ’50s vibe that seems a bit outdated now.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Just saw they've remade A Nightmare On Elm Street
That’s gonna suck out loud, especially considering it’s the same people who remade Chainsaw Massacre & Friday The 13th.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
I've seen neither remake, only going off what I heard
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
my sources say Zombieland was the worst flick they've seen recently
"Life is good....life is good...life is good..life is good" jch
when those three sources agree
they have to be wrong.
"Life is good....life is good...life is good..life is good" jch
Zombieland was one of my favorite movies last year
Adventureland was another. Jesse Eisenberg has a nice little niche going.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 4:06 PM EST up reply actions
Adventureland? Elaborate please.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Calm down, it's not a safari porno
"aaron harnann is so aweseom" - justin
by BK on Feb 25, 2010 4:09 PM EST up reply actions
Safari porno?
FVA, would you like to chime in on this?
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Welcome to the jungle, big boy.
, bitches!
by Fat Vegas Alan on Mar 16, 2010 11:23 PM EDT up reply actions
Well, Adventureland won me over like Zombieland because it starts off with a kickass tune
In this case, “Bastards of Young.” But it’s about this kid that just graduated from a liberal arts college in northeastern Ohio and is planning to travel Europe before starting his graduate work at Columbia. But there’s money troubles, and he has to move back to his parents’ house in Pittsburgh instead and get a summer job. Nowhere will hire him, except for the theme park, where he works the carnival games. And then he spends the summer with the weirdos and misbegotten geniuses at the theme park, the mouthbreathing Steelers fans that visit the park, and falling intensely in love with the chick from “Twilight.”
They drink, do some casual drugs, listen to good tunes, and kill a summer in America’s sweatstain. Maybe it’s just that it reminds me a lot of my experiences, post-graduation, but I really dug it. It’s funny, it’s sweet, and is a good look at the small risks and small rewards that come when you’re not aiming real high.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 4:38 PM EST up reply actions
Zombieland is a fun movie
that is really the best way to describe it.
Volquez, Bailey, Cueto, Chapman, and Leake. The future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses.
by justin007000 on Feb 25, 2010 4:16 PM EST up reply actions
it wasnt as bad as i feared
I give it a B.
"Life is good....life is good...life is good..life is good" jch
I almost put in the body of the SIS
“Now I’ll wait for obc to come along and disparage Zombieland in some way.”
Shoulda, coulda, woulda.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
always predicting things AFTER they occur
House Plant is 100% hindsight
"Life is good....life is good...life is good..life is good" jch
Call for Mr. Pot on line 1
It’s a Mr. Kettle…….he has something VERY important to speak to you about.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Reminds me...
‘Out of Sight’ with Clooney and JLo is a great movie that I don’t think a lot of people have seen.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 10:31 AM EST up reply actions
i saw it when it was first released on video
all i really remember about it was liking the fat guy falling on the steps and shooting himself
I was working at a movie theater (R.I.P., Centerville Cinemas) when that came out
Helped myself to the movie poster, which I imagine is still in my room back home. It was one of the first movies where George Clooney became a credible actor, and the only good thing Jennifer Lopez has ever done (she wasn’t even the best Fly Girl!). One of Steve Zahn’s better roles, too.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 4:09 PM EST up reply actions
I think I worked with that director on a music video in 1997.
He was one of the least talented people I had ever worked with. He had NO vision, and was chronically indecisive, vegan, and coked up. He had no place being involved in post-production. He went by one name at the time: Sanji. Never a good sign.
Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move. - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 25, 2010 1:29 PM EST up reply actions
I recently saw "4 Christmases" with the lady
And it is the worst newer movie I have ever seen, counting like the last 10 years or so.
I remember defending Reece Witherspoon at some point on this site, and now I completely regret it.
Touche to whoever told me she sucked, because sheesh…it was terrible. Vince Vaughn too, i’m about sick of him as well.
"Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan. That's good advice!"
You cwazy.
She makes a lot of bad movies but she’s at least as good as most ‘movie star’ actresses out there.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 10:35 AM EST up reply actions
Charlize Theron is the biggest female movie star!
"Life is good....life is good...life is good..life is good" jch
Some do.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 10:37 AM EST up reply actions
If they want to be successful, they do.
Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move. - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 25, 2010 1:37 PM EST up reply actions
Jch, did you ever see 'Intolerable Cruelty?'
There’s one ya might enjoy. I did.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 10:38 AM EST reply actions
Pretty much.
Unless it stars Tom Hanks. Then it’s going to be mediocre.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 10:43 AM EST up reply actions
I did okay with it.
I had to sort of pretend that it wasn’t made by fellas that otherwise have proven themselves to be geniuses. Taken on its own merits it passed. But on the best-to-worst list of Coen brothers shows, it’s at the bottom and begging to fall of the page altogether.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 10:51 AM EST up reply actions
Big Lebowski makes my short list for worst movie ever.
by Brian B on Feb 25, 2010 3:49 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
oh my goodness
That will be considered heresy by most, I bet. I got in big, everlasting trouble with a friend of mine because I didn’t like it enough. I liked it fine, but I think O Brother Where Art Thou? and The Hudsucker Proxy are better.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 3:51 PM EST up reply actions
i really didn't care for o brother
thought it was a little long and kinda boring.
you can’t like lebowski enough
i agree on o brother
it had some funny lines, but mostly i was bored
Alway the optimist...I like your think kid...
Same here...
I saw it long after it made it big and all, and kept waiting for it to get good. But I mainly just got bored.
Let me write out a formal proof for you.
O Brother is an excellent movie
Should have thrown that onto my “movies I always watch when they’re on” list.
"aaron harnann is so aweseom" - justin
by BK on Feb 25, 2010 3:56 PM EST up reply actions
And I should have included it in my quotable movies
You’d be surprised how much you can use “He’s bonafide!” and “We thought you was a toad” in conversation.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 4:00 PM EST up reply actions
I'm with you there.
It’s my favorite. “Damn, we’re in a tight spot!”
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
We thought... you was... a TOAD!!!
"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK
You're out of your element, Brian
"aaron harnann is so aweseom" - justin
by BK on Feb 25, 2010 3:56 PM EST up reply actions
What if Tom Hanks does a Coen bros movie?
Will it be the best mediocre movie you’ve ever seen?
"Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan. That's good advice!"
Pretty much.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 10:53 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Don't know why this pic showed up.
It was supposed to be the movie poster for ‘The Ladykillers.’
And that’s what it was when I posted it. Swear. My apologies.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 11:21 AM EST up reply actions
Rec'd.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 11:23 AM EST up reply actions
Check the properties, it's named hotlinked.jpg or somesuch
I giggled.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
I don't know what all that means.
Other than some computer geek somewhere thinks that it’s funny for us to see really big boobs when we want to see a movie poster.
Which it is.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 11:46 AM EST up reply actions
it means they don't want you linking their images
It steals their bandwidth, which they have to pay for.
So if you try to post a “hot link” to one of their files, it automatically re-directs it to a photo they hope will embarrass you into not trying it again.
This is fairly common, and sometimes the photos are much worse than that one. For this reason, I usually test image links before posting them.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
goatse, anyone?
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Or tubgirl
Some say a comet will fall from the sky. Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still. Followed by millions of dumbfounded dips**ts.
I liked it more than most
because like Clooney’s character I’m a lawyer named Massey. I saw it with my finacee several months before we got hitched. I got a lot of mileage out of the “Massey prenup” lines. But the movie itself was pretty decent. Probably as good as a rom-com can get.
I kinda liked it too.
Liking George Clooney movies is my quirky thing. Maybe if he had been the Dude I would have liked Lebowski. I watched TBL drunk one night and woke up the next morning wondering how hammered I must have been to have not liked it. So I put the movie back in and watched it sober. Still hated it.
by Brian B on Feb 25, 2010 4:33 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Lebowski's always a movie that I get more out of the more times I watch it
After about four or five times, you’re just like, “SHIT! This is genius.” Well, maybe you’re not. Like that, I mean.
Did you see “Miller’s Crossing?” It’s one of the earlier Coen brothers movies that doesn’t get talked about as much, but holy cow is it great! 1920s mobsters. Can’t beat it.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 4:40 PM EST up reply actions
Agreed, love Miller's Crossing
And I’ll stick up for O Brother. Great story and chemistry, and well-shot imo. But I go for the Americana stuff.
I do enjoy O Brother as well
The soundtrack is great, and I love the flooding of the Tennessee Valley, where the water looks like it’s rising directly out of the ground. Plus, I like to buy into the whole “mysticism of the South” angle, before the time of technology and learning made things less interesting.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 5:15 PM EST up reply actions
I saw the legendary hermit on Dale Hollow lake as a kid
A crazy old guy didn’t want to leave when the TVA came through to flood the valley and claimed one of the “islands” as his own. No one went there and he supposedly came out very rarely to get provisions.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Oh, and I caught a huge assed smallmouth bass when I was there for camp
I share because I care.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
We canoed past the island
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
and what...he was hiding in the bushes?
Sitting on his front porch? Fishing in the lake?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
He was patrolling the beach, doing god knows what
The camp counselor made a big deal about how he had resisted the TVA and refused to move, etc. My main concern was not flipping the canoe, which happened anyway. Man, I hate canoes.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Wait, how the fuck old was he?
The TVA was created in 1933, and you were probably a camper in the late 80s. If he was a landowner at the time, he was at least in his 20s. What an old fucking bastard.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 7:52 PM EST up reply actions
I was there in the summer of '87 at the ripe old age of 10
Wiki says the dam was completed in 1943, so there’s 44 years difference. He would have been in his late 60s, early 70s maybe?
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
What, no further questions?
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Nope, this was in July. Well past Derby Day
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
was he playin' a mandolin?
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
the dam wasn't started
until 1942.
According to Wikipedia.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Here's a list of dreck I've seen
in no particular order (and by no means exhaustive): Mama Mia, Chicago…(actually any movie with inexplicable and pointless singing), Encino Man, Look Who’s Talking (all of them), Anaconda, Chairman of the Board, Grease, All About Steve, Ali, that piece of shit with Vin Diesel as an ex-navy seal nanny, Cool as Ice, Good Luck Chuck (any and all Dane Cook vehicles, really), Appaloosa, Battlefield Earth, Batman and Robin, Blues Brothers 2000, Last Action Hero, Norbit, Gymkata, Mission to Mars, Hulk Hogan’s Mr. Nanny, The Wedding Planner, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Arthur 2: Love on the Rocks, Mannequin, Monster In Law, and so on….
A Pete Rose by any other name would still smell of cheap hookers and pinetar.
by Pops Daniels on Feb 25, 2010 10:46 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
Batman and Robin was baaad.
Sometime soon my boys are going to discover that there is a movie called ‘Batman and Robin’ they’re going to say to me, “No way, Daddy. The movie is called Batman and Robin. It can’t be bad.”
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 10:55 AM EST up reply actions
Ah, the magical summer of "Batman and Robin," "The Avengers," and "Godzilla."
Three of the worst all-time movies, EVER. Even though I didn’t pay to see any of them in the theater (thanks, employee benefits!), I still felt ripped off.
by Brendanukkah on Feb 25, 2010 4:13 PM EST up reply actions
Says the devoted fan of Jimmy Buffett and Weird Al Yankovic.
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 11:05 AM EST up reply actions
Wow, you actually like something good
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
I love me some Weird Al.
And I really like his original tunes that no one hears, such as Nature Trail to Hell.
Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move. - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 25, 2010 1:44 PM EST up reply actions
Get a room
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
Totally
I wanted Petey to show me his “Castles Made of Sand”.
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
I love a good burger as much as I like a good Weird Al tune.
We have now bridged this gap more than today’s C-SPAN summit will. :P
Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move. - Satchel Paige
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 25, 2010 1:52 PM EST up reply actions
aaaawwwww, group hug?
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod
I like that one
Always good for home videos.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I've seen a few of these and mostly agree.
But I think Chicago was good, and I actually kind of enjoyed Mamma Mia. It seemed to me they knew how bad it was going to be, so they just went with it. Plus, Greece is pretty.
But then, I don’t dislike musicals on principle.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 11:14 AM EST up reply actions
Hmm. I like musicals, too.
Good ones like The Wizard of Oz, Sound of Music, Fiddler on the Roof. And I liked Mamma Mia, but I still think it was bad. Grease is just waaaay overrated.
by the finest muffins on Feb 25, 2010 11:23 AM EST up reply actions
It's electrifying!
"Let's get this movie. We already have the underwear."
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 25, 2010 11:24 AM EST up reply actions
I liked The Wiz
Ease on down the road, bitches!
"They're the ones that gave you the keys, they can’t get upset when you crash the car" -- 'tHan on my being a mod