Reds banking on Roaring 20s from Bruce
Jay Bruce will be in town until at least through 2016, with a 2017 option potentially taking him into his age 30 season. Now that he'll be a team fixture through his prime years, first things first: a nickname. All long-tenured Reds have them. Noodles. Big Klu. Charlie Hustle. Junior. (What did we call Barry Larkin? I'll put him down for "SkyLarkin'.") There's been no consensus on a term of endearment yet for Bruce, though some candidates have emerged:
- The Boss
- Bruce Almighty
- J-Hova
The following nicknames have not been suggested:
- J-Bru
- Big Bruce-r
- The Bruce of the System
- The Motley Bru
Any ideas? Red Reporter is respected as a meme-factory and we must not lay down on this one. Without a nickname in place by spring training, there may be a serious crisis of confidence in my administration.
I'd also like to take this space to formally recognize the expert rumor-mongering of "-ManBearPig." (I'm pretty sure that sentence is better-suited for a British sci-fi.) At 3:05 Eastern yesterday, this benevolent three species genetic hybrid told us:
Bruce and the Reds have agreed to a 6 year deal for $51 million with an $11 mil option for the 7th year and are going to be announcing it soon.
I remember thinking to myself, "My, what a specific fake rumor." The details of the deal reached ESPN about 9 hours later - for some reason - while I was slumbering. Sidebar: Do we really need the 24-hour sports news cycle? We do? OK, just making sure. So bravo, ManBearPig. We salute you. Now everything you say is true. And every rumor you see on this website is to be regarded as Gospel truth.
On to the extension. Red Reporters unanimously approve. And Fangraphs has signaled its qualified gangs-away. Adjusting for the cost-control through arbitration years and the increase in the cost of wins, FG estimates that the Reds are paying Bruce as a "3.5 win player." I would wager to guess that most of us believe Bruce has the ability to exceed this threshold each year of the contract, especially given the points he's spotted by his excellent defense - which, like speed and RUST, never sleeps. The deal looks better, from a dollar-valued wins perspective, if you give the Reds credit for cultivating in-house talent, rather than ending up with a free agent from the open market. Pre-arbitration wins may be cheaper, but if you've gotten to the point where you team control over a player who could potentially make nine figures as a free agent, you've done something right.
Projecting a player like Bruce - or any player - can be treacherous. No one purports to know, on an individual player level, what the next season holds. Jay's 2010 could be his ceiling, floor or beautiful, $51M granite counter-top. But taking past player performance and historical precedent, thenweighing it against the current trajectory an observer sees the player taking makes for interesting speculation. Bruce's similarity scores on Baseball Reference are food for thought on possible futures: Justin Upton appears as a "similar batter," without controlling for age, and he's as good a peer comp as any. Now that they've both signed similar contracts, we basically have a controlled study of two slick-fielding RFers, similar in age, with boundless potential.
"Similar Batters though 23" (Does not address defense, on which Jay compares favorably in most any RF comp):
1. Willie Horton: I hope they mean Willie Horton the baseball player, because the other one is "an American convicted felon who, while serving a life sentence for murder, without the possibility of parole, was the beneficiary of a Massachusetts weekend furlough program. He did not return from his furlough, and ultimately he committed assault, armed robbery and rape" (Wikipedia). He was also featured in an attack ad that did in the Dukakis campaign. No one would be happy with this outcome for Jay.
4. Barry Bonds: Even in a parallel universe where Bonds doesn't take steroids, this is probably still Bruce's absolute ceiling. The Pirates Era Bonds was a 25-35 HR threat and started reaching base 40% of the time at age 25. He's not going to steal bases, but Jay could develop 35+ HR power in the second half of his contract as players of his ilk often do in their mid to late 20s, while bringing the patience and respect from pitchers along with it. This could translate to higher walk rates. And Bruce's MLB splits against lefties have already shown signs of permanently eroding.
7. Adam Dunn: Does Jay have the power to consistently hit 40 home runs and the plate vision to complement it? Taking Adam Dunn's power numbers with Bruce's defense would be a beautiful dream. If Bruce can continue to hit to all fields, while opening up his home run power to all fields, he would be the player nearly everyone could love - a slugger who does everything but steal bases.
9. Harold Baines: Here's what happens if Bruce's power doesn't develop and last year becomes the benchmark . A good career, but not great. I'm biased, but if Bruce stays healthy, these kind of rate stats could be his floor through the life of the contract.
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harold baines as his floor?
120 ops+ and career hits? Id forgotten harold played until he was 42…
"the only place they lost was the scoreboard"
I meant the rate stats
not the longevity. I think the kind of numbers Bruce put up last year could be the baseline for the rest of his twenties if he’s healthy. His true floor is probably Austin Kearns ‘07-’10.
Need the number of that store where they make ceramics in an oven made out of damaged circus supplies. It's called Rumpled Stilts Kiln. - Jon Wurster
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 10, 2010 12:59 PM EST up reply actions
I'll never believe MBP again. His right quotient is all used up.
Dukakis had more to do with the collapse of the Dukakis campaign than Horton did.
As for a nickname, he’ll always be “The Walkoff” to me.
When you come to the fork in the road, take it.
by poojols on Dec 10, 2010 12:55 PM EST via mobile reply actions
I think Bruce Almighty seems to be sinking in
But I don’t get the Hova thing. Can anyone explain that one?
Jehovah = God
Jay Hova = Jay Bruce
Owners needed for NL-only fantasy baseball league....inquire within.
by cesarhernandez on Dec 10, 2010 1:01 PM EST up reply actions
Actually, it has more to do with Jay-Z
And it’s also my personal favorite. Followed by The Boss.
Bruce Almighty is too long.
I vote for Jay Hova!!
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
I can't believe this could be argued
it’s probably too hip ffor some of the Reds’ audience, though
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
he should be The Deal
I mean come on, Louie G and Zizzy Mane wrote a song calling him that! Christ on a hubcap indeed….
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 11, 2010 8:30 AM EST up reply actions
How about "The Bruce Goose?"

On second thought, that didn’t work out too well, did it?
by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Dec 10, 2010 1:06 PM EST reply actions
Jay's last homer flew farther than that thing.
I’m on with Hova, if for no other reason than the Jay-Z reference (Jay-B…?)
And there’s always Jay the Bruce for all you Bravehearties out there.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 10, 2010 1:23 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
I think "Goose" would be a fine nickname.
It would open things up for endless Top Gun references at the very least.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 10, 2010 2:00 PM EST up reply actions
Goose would work, just for the obscure way in which we got there.
Also, I’m sure we could also manage some obscure ER/Anthony Edwards references as well.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
Yes, sure ...

Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 10, 2010 2:03 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
"Take me to bed or lose me forever!

"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 10, 2010 2:52 PM EST up reply actions
Pete "Dead-Meat" Thompson was a much better character.
Calmer than you are.
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Dec 10, 2010 2:56 PM EST up reply actions
I thought it was "Fresh-Meat"
IfyaknowwhatImean
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 10, 2010 3:25 PM EST up reply actions
That shit's getting repealed, yo!
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 10, 2010 3:28 PM EST up reply actions
No one has seen Hot Shots?
C’mon.
Calmer than you are.
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Dec 10, 2010 4:07 PM EST up reply actions
Falafel Helper
Calmer than you are.
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Dec 10, 2010 4:30 PM EST up reply actions
I'm disappointed
You’re going to point out the homoeroticism in Top Gun and you didn’t use this?

"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
wow is Tom Cruise short
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Like Prince-short.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 13, 2010 10:36 AM EST up reply actions
I joined for this!
I am a long-time lurker who finally decided to take the plunge and sign up just to write his nickname as the Bruce Goose and I was going to post and then BAM one day waiting period. I see I wasn’t the only one who thought of this.
Welcome.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 13, 2010 10:36 AM EST up reply actions
This is a bit off topic
but reading all about Bruce’s vcontract has made me considr Votto’s upcoming deal more. How much is that likely going to be a year? I think the number will be much much higher than I had initially expected it to be.
Ahem, RSCWKRP:
“BOOBS MUST ALWAYS BE AN OPTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 10, 2010 1:56 PM EST reply actions
This may be an unpopular position
I’m quietly trying to put that tradition to bed.
Need the number of that store where they make ceramics in an oven made out of damaged circus supplies. It's called Rumpled Stilts Kiln. - Jon Wurster
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 10, 2010 2:20 PM EST up reply actions
HEY EVERYONE!!!
KRP HATES BOOBS!!!!
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
by nycredsfan on Dec 10, 2010 2:40 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
I HEAR HE HATES ALL PARTS OF WOMEN
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 10, 2010 2:53 PM EST up reply actions
I HEARD SANTA CLAUS IS A WOMAN
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 10, 2010 3:11 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Let's you sit on her lap and whisper in her ear, but never gives you what you actually want?
Sounds about right
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
by nycredsfan on Dec 10, 2010 3:23 PM EST via mobile up reply actions 2 recs
You're doing it wrong!
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 10, 2010 3:26 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I HEAR HE HAS ALL PARTS OF WOMEN IN HIS FREEZER
"It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word."
-President Andrew Jackson
by justin007000 on Dec 10, 2010 3:37 PM EST up reply actions
common
Dahmer only kept men’s parts.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
my apologies
I’m not up on my Dahmer trivia
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 11, 2010 11:10 AM EST up reply actions
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I’m calling for a rebellion!
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 10, 2010 3:26 PM EST up reply actions
THE GREAT BOOBS REBELLION OF 2010
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 10, 2010 3:28 PM EST up reply actions
One day, We will tell our sons that we faught hard for boobs.
WYSIWIG
by Excalib8 on Dec 10, 2010 3:29 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
our ousted leader
i would kinda like Boobs to be back in charge for really only one reason, it would be hilarious to have our lead blogger be banned at another SBN site.
"It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word."
-President Andrew Jackson
by justin007000 on Dec 10, 2010 3:38 PM EST up reply actions
Which site is he banned from?
VEB?
"Those fellas make some good points," Baker said. "They're profane as hell, and they're probably gay, but they make some good points."
Dusty Baker on RR
yep
"It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word."
-President Andrew Jackson
by justin007000 on Dec 10, 2010 4:19 PM EST up reply actions
seriously?
you?
must be thin-skinned
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
what is truely odd
is i am not banned.
"It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word."
-President Andrew Jackson
by justin007000 on Dec 11, 2010 10:45 AM EST up reply actions
Me either....ofr course I don't think I've ever commented there
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
that should just be preemptive.
"It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word."
-President Andrew Jackson
by justin007000 on Dec 11, 2010 11:05 AM EST up reply actions
Vote Farney/Justin 2012?
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
i don't actually want any responsibility
i have shit to do in reality.
"It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word."
-President Andrew Jackson
by justin007000 on Dec 10, 2010 5:43 PM EST up reply actions
/raven riley'd
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 10, 2010 8:40 PM EST up reply actions
And she is a whore
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
That is:
She is a whore…
Don’t you know that you’re to capitalize your own special diety’s name…jeeze!
Christ in a hog pen.
"Men today are pussies or gay" Aja Warren
PUTTİN BOOBS TO BED, EH???
EH????
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
I voted Reggie Jackson out of sheer hope.
During Jackson’s age 24-30 seasons, he posted an OPS+ of 149. I’d take that to go along with elite defense.
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
Of course, during Bonds' 24-30 years he put up an OPS+ of 173, so maybe my hopes need to be higher
see what I did there with uzr? it’s like a LOL cats saber-pun combo.--Verka Serduchka
I'm calling it now...
Bruce knocks 35+ HR’s in 2011. The further he gets away from that wrist injury, the stronger he’s been.
I have no idea on the nickname, but I would love it if he played “Strange Brew” by Cream for his At-Bat music
I would love it
IF he play this
"Those fellas make some good points," Baker said. "They're profane as hell, and they're probably gay, but they make some good points."
Dusty Baker on RR
Whoa, don't know what happened there
Anyway, I would love it if he played this
"Those fellas make some good points," Baker said. "They're profane as hell, and they're probably gay, but they make some good points."
Dusty Baker on RR
He's The Deal
They call him The Deal, baby.
by Brendanukkah on Dec 10, 2010 2:28 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
I really like "Hova" for Bruuuuuce.
That, or Boobs.
(and if Bruce is Hova, does that make Joey ‘Big Papa’?)
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
by DocRam on Dec 10, 2010 2:42 PM EST via mobile reply actions
Notorious MVP?
I keep coming up with Big Punisher as well.
by kcgard2 on Dec 10, 2010 3:19 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Gomes likes it when you call him Big Popup
Follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Dec 10, 2010 3:32 PM EST up reply actions 11 recs
Joey ain't a hater he just crushes a lot.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 10, 2010 3:33 PM EST up reply actions
Valaika, Herrera, Valaika, Herrera (3x)
Need the number of that store where they make ceramics in an oven made out of damaged circus supplies. It's called Rumpled Stilts Kiln. - Jon Wurster
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Dec 10, 2010 5:55 PM EST up reply actions
I like this.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 10, 2010 8:39 PM EST up reply actions
I vote for The Boss
But I’d also be open to something like “Boomstick” as a subtle reference to Bruce Campbell.
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
We could call him Ash, but that would get damn confusing.
"there no countrey called west xylophone" Youtube
we could ban ash.
stricken her from the record, and never speak of her again.
Problem solved.
"It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word."
-President Andrew Jackson
by justin007000 on Dec 10, 2010 5:43 PM EST up reply actions
or Bubba
as in Bubba Ho-Tep. Why are all Bruce Campbell nicknames of the chicks on this site?
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
Bruce Campbell characters, nicknames...
rather
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
You should have seen him in Euripides' Trojan Women.
Absolutely groundbreaking performance.
"there no countrey called west xylophone" Youtube
by andromache on Dec 10, 2010 11:43 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I'm also really interested in the lost season of MASH where Bruce Campbell replaces Alan Alda.
"there no countrey called west xylophone" Youtube
Boomstick would be pretty rad, actually
but I still stick with Hova. The Deal is slowly growing on me, though, for all the wrong reasons.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
I vote for ungreased, backdoor, hammertime lovemaking session
by Charlie ScrabbIes on Dec 10, 2010 3:51 PM EST reply actions
Thank you for readin my link, sir.
Ed McMahon will still not be able to perform at your McDonald’s birthday party, though.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 10, 2010 4:07 PM EST up reply actions
Thank you for readin my link, sir.
Ed McMahon will still not be able to perform at your McDonald’s birthday party, though.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 10, 2010 4:07 PM EST up reply actions
Fuck the hell?
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 10, 2010 4:08 PM EST up reply actions
This ain't me, y'all
He’s a imposter!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 10, 2010 6:15 PM EST up reply actions
I like how he waited a week for that
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 10, 2010 8:39 PM EST up reply actions
Sh'yeah
He waits a whole damn week and this is what he debuts with? This should last as long as “The Hasselhoffs”.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 10, 2010 10:08 PM EST up reply actions
probably had to
Damn anti-spam measures.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
RR's anti-spam measures mean you only have to wait one day
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 10, 2010 11:14 PM EST up reply actions
does each blog on SB Nation set its own?
I thought they were all the same.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
It's a setting by the almighty I think
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
Alanis Morissette?
"Those fellas make some good points," Baker said. "They're profane as hell, and they're probably gay, but they make some good points."
Dusty Baker on RR
I thought it was more than one day
for at least some of the SB Nation blogs. Seems like the ones I’ve joined recently required a wait of several days before you could post.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
it's based on your reputation. you've been flagged.
Just kidding, every site sets their own waiting period. Unless the boss has changed it, RR is set for one day.
Follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Dec 11, 2010 9:16 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
OT: Holiday gift ideas for baseball geeks.
I found this website that sells posters of turn of the century baseball cards. I just ordered one and can attest to the fact that they look quite nice. They have plenty of Reds players and they even have everyone’s favorite Union Association Outlaw Red, Jack Glasscock.

Watch it, ass blood.
are they like those wall sticker posters that never seem to work?
"And a high fly ball to center field. He hit it a ton. And the 2010 National League Central Division Champs are the Cincinnati Reds!"
thank you ... i couldn't remember the name of those things
"And a high fly ball to center field. He hit it a ton. And the 2010 National League Central Division Champs are the Cincinnati Reds!"
Reds still won't confirm a deal
I was told they are in “discussions”, but nothing is final yet. Probably just dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s.
Owners needed for NL-only fantasy baseball league....inquire within.
Waiting for physical, maybe?
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
We already wasted "Red Menace"
Totally wasted it.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 10, 2010 6:16 PM EST up reply actions
on who?
Was there someone besides the Rorshach impersonator?
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Nope. Just him.
And we WASTED it!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 11, 2010 10:55 AM EST up reply actions
Jay Hova is the obvious choice
Even though, I quietly want The Deal to catch on. Anyone who calls him The Boss or Bruce Almighty deserves to get punched in the mouth.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 10, 2010 8:38 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Or the head.

Watch it, ass blood.
by -ManBearPig on Dec 11, 2010 12:13 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Caption: HEY, IS THERE A FIGHT OVER THERE? LET ME DITCH MY HELMET!
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 11, 2010 4:51 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
I support this because I really want to punch Lance McAllister in the throat.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 13, 2010 10:41 AM EST up reply actions
Springsteen was overrated anyway
and Bruce Almighty was an overly sappy movie
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 13, 2010 7:07 PM EST up reply actions
I'm still so flipping happy about this deal
I haven’t really even looked at the numbers yet.
-j
I write at:
Beyond the Boxscore | Red Reporter | Basement-Dwellers.com | Twitter: @jinazreds
so i just saw the following facebook status update
End of the 1st Half: Rough Riders 41, Ravens 29!
Because of redreporter the combination of Raven and roughride made me laugh.
"It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word."
-President Andrew Jackson
Sounds like Walt has this LF thing figured out
From MLBTradeRumors:
The Reds were interested in Gerardo Parra and the D’Backs in Chris Heisey, but a potential deal of the two outfielders was scuttled because the Reds want to keep Heisey.
Hmm.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
I saw that
and breathed a sigh of relief the Reds didn’t do that deal. Parra really brings little to the table.
Owners needed for NL-only fantasy baseball league....inquire within.
by cesarhernandez on Dec 10, 2010 9:46 PM EST up reply actions
I dunno
He’s a pretty intriguing player. His minor league K/BB ratios were pretty good, and his triple slash was .314/.375/.440. He doesn’t hit for much power, but he should get on base pretty well and play good defense. He’s still pretty young, as he’ll be 24 in May. He’d need to be platooned most likely, but I think Heisey would be the best guy to do that.
Honestly, I might just be willing to do Heisey for Parra.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 10, 2010 10:17 PM EST up reply actions
umm
if he’s platooned with heisey, he can’t be traded for Heisey.
I’d do a LeCure-Parra trade. Or Maloney-Parra.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
Yeah, I realize now my thoughts were moving a little faster than my fingers.
Heisey/Parra would probably be the best platoon we could make, but if it takes Heisey to get him I would probably be ok with that.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 11, 2010 10:56 AM EST up reply actions
Bruce deal will be formally announced on Tuesday
Why not Monday? I dunno
Owners needed for NL-only fantasy baseball league....inquire within.
by cesarhernandez on Dec 10, 2010 10:05 PM EST reply actions
Pending a physical
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
When will the Matt Maloney extension be announced?
"It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word."
-President Andrew Jackson
When his wife can get a break from yoga class to attend the press conferencce
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
by jch24 on Dec 10, 2010 10:59 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
At Bruce's announcement
after everyone leaves, and Walt goes:
“Oh Wait…. Guys! Come Back I have more news!”
Janitor Baker sez: “I’m here”
And Walt replies: “Mehhh, nevermind, It isn’t important at all”
Mr.Baker sez: “Oh, alrighty then, bye bye, call me later baby….”
"Why not just throw an empty glove down at the shortstop position, it would be cheaper and have better range." - justin007000
We've beat this dead horse around the moon and back.
Can’t we just call him Jay? The nicknames suck.
by Brian B on Dec 10, 2010 11:33 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Wee ooo wee ooo
Look out, it’s the Fun Police!
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 11, 2010 8:54 AM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Rec'd for making me read "wee ooo wee ooo" and hearing it in my head
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
Mr. Bruce?
"And a high fly ball to center field. He hit it a ton. And the 2010 National League Central Division Champs are the Cincinnati Reds!"
that's racist!
Follow on Twitter: @redreporter. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Dec 11, 2010 9:17 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Because Blalock is a cracker.
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 11, 2010 4:53 PM EST up reply actions
triscuit
a bit thick, and not as good as you thought when you first try one
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
twss
"And a high fly ball to center field. He hit it a ton. And the 2010 National League Central Division Champs are the Cincinnati Reds!"
Don't forget this fact
Everything tastes better on a cracker.
"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
I don't buy them because they're little edible plates!
Nobody ever says, “how about a Ritz on top of that Ritz?”
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 13, 2010 2:27 PM EST up reply actions
Ah yes
the 2nd part of the “once you go Black, you never go back” statement
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 13, 2010 7:09 PM EST up reply actions
That's sad!
It also must make traffic lights difficult for you.
by the finest muffins on Dec 12, 2010 7:19 PM EST up reply actions
top stop
bottom go.
"It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word."
-President Andrew Jackson
by justin007000 on Dec 12, 2010 7:23 PM EST up reply actions
How about "Batman"?
Jay Bruce – Bruce Wayne? We could affect British accents and call him “Master Bruce”. And after he hits a home run we can say, “HE’S THE GODDAMN BATMAN!!”

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 11, 2010 11:01 AM EST reply actions
nope.
Already taken.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 11, 2010 11:11 AM EST via mobile up reply actions 3 recs
*golf clap*
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Dec 11, 2010 2:56 PM EST up reply actions
what you get if you sleep with Tiger Woods?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Who are you thinking?
They called Will Clark “Batman” and “The Thrill.”
by Brian B on Dec 11, 2010 4:07 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
I was referencing this.
Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul.
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Dec 12, 2010 1:16 PM EST up reply actions
but definitely not a cat man
"College actually kind of beat that out of me, making me more, well, of an asshole."
x

"He’s like if Ron Gant and Eric Davis had a white baby." -- GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Drew Stubbs
by jch24 on Dec 11, 2010 2:53 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
wait, what?
Joey Votto on Colin Cowherd: "I don’t know who he is"
by UncleWeez on Dec 11, 2010 3:10 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I actually don't get this thread of comments at all.
Is it a DC thing? I was raised on Marvel myself, so, I don’t know what I’m missing.
"there no countrey called west xylophone" Youtube
gotta get on top of your memes, sister.
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
There's nothing secret here.
Batman draws an crude cartoon that is a combination of a “dick” and a “but.” When presented in a formal setting, the crudity is laughable.
"Don't turn off the TV if we've still got bats in our hands." - Dusty Baker
by PeteyHendrix on Dec 11, 2010 5:03 PM EST up reply actions
I love's this and I made it green because of it!
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 13, 2010 10:47 AM EST up reply actions
I can't stop laughing whenever I see this
I did that thing where coworkers think you’re crazy because you’re suddenly trying to stifle uncontrollable laughter. Everything about it is just so perfect.
by Brendanukkah on Dec 13, 2010 11:02 AM EST up reply actions
I'm with you
It reminds me so much of Superman is a Dick

by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 13, 2010 11:11 AM EST up reply actions
This is still one of my favorites:

There’s tons of these over at superdickery.com.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 13, 2010 11:28 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Damn
I hadn’t been over there in years. I didn’t realize they had so much more. Looks like I’m canceling my afternoon conference call!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 13, 2010 11:37 AM EST up reply actions
HAHAHAHA!
Good for you.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 13, 2010 11:41 AM EST up reply actions
a wife's place is in the home
barefoot, and pregnant…. amirite?
I never understood the whole barefoot part…. can someone explain this?
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 13, 2010 7:11 PM EST up reply actions
She doesn't need shoes
because she doesn’t need to ever go outside.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Dec 13, 2010 7:17 PM EST up reply actions
whether this is legit or not, it kinda makes sense
danke Scrabbles
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 13, 2010 7:28 PM EST up reply actions
scrabbles is right
i am a modern American historian, so i am the authority.
"It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word."
-President Andrew Jackson
by justin007000 on Dec 13, 2010 9:04 PM EST up reply actions
I love the intensity on Batman's face as he's writing it.
Eighty-five percent of the f*ckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A f*ckin' playground for the cocks*ckers.
-Lee Elia on Cubs fans
by Farneyismycopilot on Dec 13, 2010 11:22 AM EST up reply actions
so when I voted,
I read this as ‘the best possible career’ for bruce, not ‘the most lıkely’
warrants mentioning
"And then there was the USAID guy in Kandahar who drove a giant pink Cadillac, which the locals set on fire one day. If you wanted to destroy something symbolic during a riot, you just could not do better than that. Good stuff." - Ghosts of Alexander
have you seen him naked?
b/c then it would make so much more sense
by Highlifeman21 on Dec 13, 2010 7:11 PM EST up reply actions

































