Eyewitness Report 8/10: The Cards make like early Kanye

And tell the Reds, "Thank you, God bless you, goodnight, I came."

I linked to Kanye mainly to make jch sad, of course. It was a pretty mediocre game, all in all. The fans even started a wave in the fifth inning, which is way earlier than the Greatest Fans in Baseball should ever start a wave. I never thought the Reds had a chance once Cueto left, and I considered leaving early at least 3 times (in my defense, I was sitting in front of this high school dude trying really hard and really obnoxiously to impress his girl...it got grating). God bless Saint Louisians, tough. I did hear someone comment, "My friend's the same age as his stepmother, you know."

All in all, though, it was a baseball game. I did get some nice pictures from the thing, so consider this a far more Bubba-esque and Twitter-y account than I usually give.

• First of all, I would like to give a one-finger salute to the Saint Louis Metrolink for starting to check tickets and all two days before I can ride for free. So I needed to buy a round-trip ticket to the game (instead of just slinking in and out of the subway). I only have a $20 bill. So how does the vending machine like that?
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  Thank you for the multitude of rocks in my pocket. The vendors thank you too, for being paid in freaking Martin van Burens.

• I was happy to see Hal McCoy hanging out on the diamond. No snark here whatsoever.
•  
•   CoCo is getting paid about $400,000 per inning. You know, I would smile, too.
  
  
  

• Here is my picture of Tatum chatting with C-Dick (I'm very excited for him to get back) while Darren watches.

  So funny story about Tatum. First off, when he was waiting to get into the batting cage, he kept on running back and forth to the dugout. At first I thought he just forgot something, than I realized that Gomes was giving him shit, and I think that Craig was running errands for someone instead. Also, when all the players went back to the dugout before the game, a bunch of kids near me were screaming for a ball from him. He then made a point of pointing at a cute girl 8 rows or so back, telling the kids to sit down, and tossing the ball to the girl instead. The guy she was with was not impressed.

• Tre Cool throws first pitch...apparently he's friends with Skip Schumaker? So that was a bit awkward. It would've been a lot cooler 10-15 years ago, I tell you that.
  
  

• Joey Votto saw this guy next to me in a Jay Bruce jersey, and tossed the guy his batting gloves, with the order, "Give one to a kid." The guy was way happy, and after chatting with him for a little bit about how his wife salivates over Joey, he called his wife to tell her. I hear the screaming on the other side from two people away. Does Poodle have a husband in Saint Louis?

• A lot can be said about Brendan Ryan. Very little of it would be good. However, he comes out to Vivrant Thing, which is pretty cool, especially for a guy coming out of Lewis & Clark State College (and yes, he went to school with our very own Carlos Fisher. They did not face each other tonight).

• I heard Taveras hit the wall from my seat. I was convinced it was a Freel-esque collision and he wouldn't be getting up for a while.
• And to give you an idea where my seat is, here's a view of the sunset over the stadium. And yes, as impressive as the food selection was in Citi Field, I give you...Hardee's.
  • Finally, some poor, poor, couple were getting married at Busch Stadium. Inbreds. 
    
    
    • I stared at this guy long and hard, and I came to the conclusion that it was not Guy Fieri. So someone saw Guy on tv, and wanted to look just like him. To compare:

      to...

    •  

      via foodnetworkhumor.com

    • And does anyone else here keep score at games? And if you do, you know that there are certain things you need on a scorecard, like: pitchers' boxes, an RBI box, and space for substitutes? Well, Busch III says GFY.

       

  • Well, that's it for this eyewitness report. I may go Wednesday, but that's awfully up in the air. Happy 2010, everybody.