Bronson Arroyo Wins Free Boat Ride For 3, Chooses Pedro Martinez and T-Pain

by Brendanukkah on Mar 9, 2009 12:17 PM EDT Comment 38 comments

So, we know that Bronson is living on a boat in Sarasota Harbor during spring training. Well, the other day he had his old Red Sox teammate Pedro Martinez over, along with at least seventeen bikini-clad wimmins. Personally, I love the photo of Arroyo doin' flips and shit, but this has to be the (indecipherable) money quote:

Me and my friend were on his boat in Miami for Ragatta over the weekend. Bronson and his friends were all there on the boat everybody was drinking and tubeing. I know my friend ended up hooking up with Bronson a couple times and said he sucked another girl was saying she did to. He calls my friend all the time now. He had some of his guy friends on the boat and one of them was the guy Tony somebody mentioned here all the guys were there witout there gf’s. AND everbody was hooking up in the boat bathroom. If Bronson does have a gf or fiancay it didnt stop him somebody said hes like 35 him and his freinds acted like they were in highscool.

35? C'mon, dude's only 32!

But in the name of journalistic integrity, there might be some incongruities. The quote was posted on Oct. 15, 2008, referencing the Columbus Day Regatta in Miami (he was only 31 then!). It's a good bet those pictures were taken then, too, since Pedro is in Puerto Rico pitching for the Dominican Republic in the WBC. But these photos were posted today and they are a delight!

And an excellent excuse to watch this.

3 recs | Comment 38 comments

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I'll say it again...

“Bronson’s not old. He’s just a little too old to have a smoke machine on his yacht.”

"I accidently put the night light in the washing machine."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Mar 9, 2009 1:22 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Riding on dolphins

doing flips and shit.

www.redsminorleagues.com
www.MinorLeagueNotebook.com

by dougdirt on Mar 9, 2009 1:31 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

This ain't Sea World. This is real as it gets.

Still waiting on a chance to use that on my kids.

"I accidently put the night light in the washing machine."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Mar 9, 2009 2:03 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

"Sho-orty!"

OH, SHIT!

by Brendanukkah on Mar 9, 2009 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

These are some skanky-looking Arroyoettes

Bronson, Buddy – get a fucking grip….

Perhaps a a flatbed truck loaded with cadavers will explode in front of a Star Trek convention. One can only dream and hope.

by Madville on Mar 9, 2009 1:50 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Grip it

These girls look like they hang out in O’Bryon’s for chrissakes.

"Hey! Look at the kid in the sombrero!"

by obc2 on Mar 9, 2009 6:54 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

there goes your date with that hot 25 year old Leah

Perhaps a a flatbed truck loaded with cadavers will explode in front of a Star Trek convention. One can only dream and hope.

by Madville on Mar 9, 2009 9:46 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

she's 25 already?

dang….she’s almost too old for me, Mads.

"Hey! Look at the kid in the sombrero!"

by obc2 on Mar 12, 2009 11:49 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

And the perfect age for crolfer.

It's all fun and games until someone gets herpes. - Fox 4 News

by PeteyHendrix on Mar 16, 2009 2:13 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I won't argue that...

People Don't Kill People. Burning Couches Kill People.

by crolfer on Mar 23, 2009 9:13 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

meat

I just hope he fed those girls JTM.

If you're not having fun, stop participating.

by redandblue on Mar 9, 2009 2:24 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Lets hope so and not jch....

Preggers Arroyoettes – Double skanked

Perhaps a a flatbed truck loaded with cadavers will explode in front of a Star Trek convention. One can only dream and hope.

by Madville on Mar 9, 2009 3:18 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

So

Bronson Arroyo sucks. That’s a good thing when you’re talking about hooking up, isn’t it?

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Mar 9, 2009 2:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

kind of

It’s not as good as if it had been from Arroyo’s perspective.

If you're not having fun, stop participating.

by redandblue on Mar 9, 2009 2:55 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I've given it some thought.

Instead of trying to figure out exactly what or who Bronson sucked, take a look at your QWERTY board. Notice how close the S is to the F.

Bronson is likely doing everything we always thought he was doing. And the same can be said for the ladies ON A BOAT.

"I accidently put the night light in the washing machine."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Mar 9, 2009 3:27 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I think it was just a critique of his performance, followed by some atrocious punctuation

Try reading it this way.

“I know my friend ended up hooking up with Bronson a couple times, and said he sucked. [A]nother girl was saying she [hooked up with Bronson] to[o].” And presumably he was a less than remarkable lover that time too.

by Brendanukkah on Mar 9, 2009 4:00 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I guess he was trying to get by on a big, overhand curveball.

But wasn’t hitting his spots.

It's all fun and games until someone gets herpes. - Fox 4 News

by PeteyHendrix on Mar 9, 2009 7:10 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

i continue to be unimpressed by the quality of bronson’s, erm, following. Also, I hope he doesn’t have a fiancay

What do you mean, "blank slate"?

by boobs on Mar 9, 2009 3:35 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I think the dingo ate her

"How big IS your magic wand?"

by Slyde on Mar 9, 2009 3:38 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

It's all relative.

I think in my heyday I might have been able to round up at most three girls for an afternoon of dranking and tubeing. And that was without the mutual understanding that each of them would take a turn bent over a countertop.

"I accidently put the night light in the washing machine."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Mar 9, 2009 3:50 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

You had a heyday, Alan ?

Perhaps a a flatbed truck loaded with cadavers will explode in front of a Star Trek convention. One can only dream and hope.

by Madville on Mar 9, 2009 4:46 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

You've never read THE FANTASTICAL NAUTI-CAL SEXUAL EXPLOITS OF YOUNG STUDLY ALAN

and his pet bonobo, Stenchy?!?

It's all fun and games until someone gets herpes. - Fox 4 News

by PeteyHendrix on Mar 9, 2009 7:13 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I guess its because I was raised on a farm

I certainly had a Hay-day

However Heyday sounds more like something Justin’s friend would enjoy…nothing wrong with that,,,,

Perhaps a a flatbed truck loaded with cadavers will explode in front of a Star Trek convention. One can only dream and hope.

by Madville on Mar 9, 2009 9:48 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

dirrrrrrrrrrrties

...because there's already someone posing as Jacob Brumfield

by Cy Schourek on Mar 9, 2009 4:14 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I hear that Nick Schuyler doesn't like this song anymore

by buckeye22fox on Mar 9, 2009 4:30 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

alright dammit

I’m proposing a femme fatale fatal fourway.

Bronson vs Jch vs Pops vs Madville – 24 hours time limit, quality and quantity counts. Think No Shame Night with bonus points. no penalty for insemination.

sukr will be there to photograph and record the event and ash will officiate. official scorer: Slyde. Timer: tHan.

"Hey! Look at the kid in the sombrero!"

by obc2 on Mar 9, 2009 7:00 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I'd subscribe to that webfeed.

And I might be willing to purchase a souvenir t-shirt, assuming some clever words adorned the chest, and a fake stain or two was added at the factory.

It's all fun and games until someone gets herpes. - Fox 4 News

by PeteyHendrix on Mar 9, 2009 7:15 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

my money's on pops

but i promise to be a non biased timekeeper

Made from 100% recycled awesome,

by chandrathan on Mar 9, 2009 9:49 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

your really think at my age (or Bronson's or Pop's for that matter)

That any of us could keep up with Progeny Man

Here a rarely seen photo him just prior to donning his tights and cape

Perhaps a a flatbed truck loaded with cadavers will explode in front of a Star Trek convention. One can only dream and hope.

by Madville on Mar 9, 2009 9:57 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

natural!

Made from 100% recycled awesome,

by chandrathan on Mar 9, 2009 10:01 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

This is an awesome post

Why are you guys ragging on Bronson? I think its great he embraces teh fact he would be teh old guy at th club….at least he’s not making it rain at the club, then getting in a fight and pulling out his piece.

This is just a harmless party, although you would think he would be a little smarter about the photographs. You’ll never see Jeter getting in pictures like this.

by Dave from Louisville on Mar 9, 2009 10:50 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs