RR Weekend Project: The Red Reporter Companion Guide

by Slyde on Feb 28, 2009 12:59 PM EST in Off-season

As typically happens when a new season starts, we will likely get an influx of new readers and contributors to the site as we get closer to Opening Day. Since this community is so well-developed and tight-knit, it can be hard to decipher some of what is said by the regulars, and I'm not even talking about Madville here. What I'd like to do is make a quick reference guide of things new readers should know to help get them up to speed on being a Red Reporter. This will be somewhat like the wiki except that it will be hosted on RR and will not have the full story, just a brief explanation. Think of it as a pocket glossary of RR inside jokes.

What I need from you is a list of the things that you think will be helpful to explain in this glossary. It could be nicknames, frequent jokes, or other such tomfoolery. I don't need the explanation (if I do, I'll ask), just a list of those items that will help get a new reader up to speed. I will compile the list together and put it in a link in the sidebar. We'll also attach the link to game threads for a while so that readers can get to it without leaving the action. Thanks in advance for your help!

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just point them to the wiki

there’s too much for a “quick reference.”

I found grace inside a game.

by Daedalus on Feb 28, 2009 1:09 PM EST reply actions

It doesn't have to cover every joke we've ever hit

but I think we can cover in a page all of the common nicknames and some of the fun stuff that gets repeated regularly. This isn’t intended to be comprehensive.

And honestly, I think the wiki is outdated and hard to navigate. I want to make something simple that doesn’t required a hundred clicks to cover everything.

"How big IS your magic wand?"

by Slyde on Feb 28, 2009 1:43 PM EST up reply actions

Why not fold this into the wiki?

It seems like this could be a great opportunity for reorganizing the wiki to have an intro page with the important stuff, then other sections with more information.

We want to build long period of time. I didn’t come here for the shot run.

by Gray on Feb 28, 2009 4:50 PM EST up reply actions

good idea

We’ll look at using it as part of the revision for the wiki.

"How big IS your magic wand?"

by Slyde on Feb 28, 2009 4:52 PM EST up reply actions

i'll do that

i can start it tomorrow. I have some time before I go to Tampa.

"Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions!"- Dr. Stephen T. Colbert DFA.

by justin007000 on Feb 28, 2009 6:06 PM EST up reply actions

Taht ouhghtta carrify tihngs for eveyrone

by Brendanukkah on Feb 28, 2009 6:22 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs

rehkkd

"Dr. Two-Brains has a strange name because he does have two brains but he's not really a doctor. He just steals cheese."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 28, 2009 7:17 PM EST up reply actions

-that's racist

-i don’t get it
-jch as literal father to the world.
-screw you
-rec/flag

Daedalus, you’re right that there’s too much stuff, but I think we can at least cover the stuff that’s really going to turn people off if they don’t get it.

Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk.

by andromache on Feb 28, 2009 1:26 PM EST reply actions

I don't get it.

[This space for sale.]

by Paul Householder on Feb 28, 2009 3:40 PM EST up reply actions

Screw you.

Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk.

by andromache on Feb 28, 2009 3:43 PM EST up reply actions

-expect to get your musical tastes critiqued

-don’t be confused if the conversation veers towards food
-don’t expect to be a fresh voice in the debate over EE (but feel free to give it a shot)
-if something confuses you…ask!
-we here at RR love our paragraph breaks
-if you’re a history major, you’ve come to the right place
-Justin: been to Cuba. Cy: been to Turkey. Cheshire: Currently in Scotland
-If you’re ex-Navy (or currently enlisted, I supposed), Red Moskau will love you forever.
-Havoc, bitches. Havoc.

...because there's already someone posing as Jacob Brumfield

by Cy Schourek on Feb 28, 2009 1:52 PM EST reply actions

and yes, I realize that I've been having some serious punctuation/spelling isses lately

but my laptop is startin to really suffer, I assure you that I am typing correctly. Which reminds me:
-RR preys on posters’ weaknesses. Be tough.

...because there's already someone posing as Jacob Brumfield

by Cy Schourek on Feb 28, 2009 1:53 PM EST up reply actions

Catjacks are obnoxious, but talking about soccer is highly encouraged!

by Brendanukkah on Feb 28, 2009 1:57 PM EST up reply actions

we are supposed to be telling the truth in this thread

not misleading the newbies…

but for once, I don’t really wanna talk about the cats

Made from 100% recycled awesome,

by chandrathan on Mar 1, 2009 4:59 PM EST up reply actions

and also use the reply button

I found grace inside a game.

by Daedalus on Feb 28, 2009 2:34 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs

YES

by Brendanukkah on Feb 28, 2009 2:35 PM EST up reply actions

you forgot

that i lived in England. wanker.

My millions are unconventional!

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 28, 2009 10:00 PM EST up reply actions

i've also been to China, and Italy

ONU sent me around the world.

"Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions!"- Dr. Stephen T. Colbert DFA.

by justin007000 on Feb 28, 2009 10:38 PM EST up reply actions

Nicknames that I've come up with

Cherry Hudson Jr. – Jerry Hairston Jr.
Johnny Quest – Johnny Cueto
The Wagon – Edinson Volquez
Elpidio – Edwin Encarnacion
Cancer – Brandon Phillips
CoCo – Francisco Cordero
T-Virus – Willy Taveras
Hova – Jay Bruce
Joe-eh – Votto
El Nino Destructor – Juan Francisco

Hoppinger – Norris Hopper / Jeff Keppinger
Hernanigan – the two-headed catcher of Hernandez and Hanigan

"How big IS your magic wand?"

by Slyde on Feb 28, 2009 1:53 PM EST reply actions

others....

C-Dick: Chris Dickerson
Old Hoss: Bailey

And I’m going to try to work Johnye Cuest and Pwnings into the dialogue.

Oh, also important: GIBP = Grounded Into Brandon Philips—> hitting into a double play. It’s also good for GIXX where “XX” are the batter’s initials

...because there's already someone posing as Jacob Brumfield

by Cy Schourek on Feb 28, 2009 1:56 PM EST up reply actions

sweet! SBN automatically formats M-dashes!

and Christ am I bored this afternoon!

...because there's already someone posing as Jacob Brumfield

by Cy Schourek on Feb 28, 2009 1:59 PM EST up reply actions

Don't forget our new Left fielder the GodDicker

My life is full of ironies and metaphors- Paula Abdul

by The Crushinator on Feb 28, 2009 2:09 PM EST up reply actions

I think you have too many d's in there

"How big IS your magic wand?"

by Slyde on Feb 28, 2009 2:10 PM EST up reply actions

Thats what god said

My life is full of ironies and metaphors- Paula Abdul

by The Crushinator on Feb 28, 2009 2:16 PM EST up reply actions

Don't forget

Sea Bass – Alex Gonzalez

I think I came in after that and I never understood it.

www.crosleyfieldterrace.wordpress.com

by xjjeep90 on Feb 28, 2009 2:59 PM EST up reply actions

good catch

"How big IS your magic wand?"

by Slyde on Feb 28, 2009 3:01 PM EST up reply actions

ISWYDT

by Brendanukkah on Feb 28, 2009 3:04 PM EST up reply actions

That was reel clever.

"Sometimes I listen for Griffey’s infectious laugh or Dunn’s humor and wit. But they’re gone." - Dusty

by BK on Feb 28, 2009 3:31 PM EST up reply actions

sea bass has spawned a bunch of cheesy comments

I found grace inside a game.

by Daedalus on Feb 28, 2009 4:12 PM EST up reply actions

Mmmmm...cheese.

"Dr. Two-Brains has a strange name because he does have two brains but he's not really a doctor. He just steals cheese."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 28, 2009 5:05 PM EST up reply actions

Also...

“First” etiquette
Adam Harang
Brandon Arroyo
The Cowboy/Clownboy = Brantley
The Toothpick = Dustbag
Proper Dominican flag etiquette/“Can I get a flag”?
Leatherpants = Jim Bowden
Fisting
Size limit on posted images

[This space for sale.]

by Paul Householder on Feb 28, 2009 3:54 PM EST up reply actions

And a good day to you, sir!

- Don’t be surprised if the conversation veers toward The Big Lebowski.

Phone's ringing, Dude.

by rjdio on Feb 28, 2009 2:37 PM EST reply actions

We might have to have the talk about cumb'ing

by Brendanukkah on Feb 28, 2009 2:40 PM EST reply actions

Slyde's got a utility belt.

And he knows how to use it.

"Dr. Two-Brains has a strange name because he does have two brains but he's not really a doctor. He just steals cheese."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 28, 2009 3:45 PM EST reply actions

Brendanukkah's awful puns

and why you should never, under any circumstances, join him in this jackassery. It only encourages him.

"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on Feb 28, 2009 3:59 PM EST reply actions

It's happening, BLee

by Brendanukkah on Feb 28, 2009 4:06 PM EST up reply actions

That's a coincidence and irrelevant.

"Dr. Two-Brains has a strange name because he does have two brains but he's not really a doctor. He just steals cheese."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 28, 2009 4:46 PM EST up reply actions

don't talk about brendans mom

"Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions!"- Dr. Stephen T. Colbert DFA.

by justin007000 on Feb 28, 2009 4:20 PM EST reply actions

Uh-oh, you said it - BANNY BAN BAN!

Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk.

by andromache on Feb 28, 2009 4:22 PM EST up reply actions

RALLY CAPS

and boom boom clap

also:

the dreaded eighth (but hopefully we will never see the return of that horror)

BOHICA

90 wins in 09!!

by Caleb on Feb 28, 2009 4:55 PM EST reply actions

There's the baby under the basket.

But I’d guess that’ll be self-evident when it happens.

And maybe it won’t even happen this year.

We’re gonna be better this year, eh?

"Dr. Two-Brains has a strange name because he does have two brains but he's not really a doctor. He just steals cheese."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 28, 2009 5:09 PM EST reply actions

yeah, all those things

I’ve been around for awhile and i have just kind of learned to live with this as kind of alternate reality with its own dialect.

by saboscork on Feb 28, 2009 5:44 PM EST reply actions

I've been around here a couple years

And I still don’t get most of this stuff.

by greg456 on Feb 28, 2009 5:57 PM EST up reply actions

this is a community, right?

why don’t we put up a marketplace? you know, i want to sell my car, maybe someone will buy it here. (2002 chevy cavalier four door silver 86,000 miles. blue book value $2900 for fair condition. missing two front hub caps (stolen in dc) and has some city wear, inc. slight dent in back door and a couple of scratches.) the car itself runs great. never had a problem. i’ve driven across country with the thing and just recently took two trips to dc.

awesome gas mileage – 32 highway miles to the gallon. only costs me $65 to make the trip to dc and back…

I found grace inside a game.

by Daedalus on Feb 28, 2009 7:32 PM EST reply actions

I know of a slightly-used centerfielder for sale.

He has a big contract and doesn’t get on base often. When he does, however…

HAVOC.

[This space for sale.]

by Paul Householder on Feb 28, 2009 10:18 PM EST up reply actions

what the hell?

i thought you didn’t have a car?

Made from 100% recycled awesome,

by chandrathan on Mar 1, 2009 5:00 PM EST up reply actions

Wear something sexy

to my funeral, you bitches.

Wear something sexy to my funeral.

by Pops Daniels on Feb 28, 2009 11:16 PM EST reply actions

Dominican Flag is useful

occasionally names like:
Sometimes
sMarty
The crappy ol’ Leftover

will appear in my posts, I’d like to apologize for that in advance…

I’d also like to apologize in advance occasionally getting off the subject of thread and for being old and incoherent and racist and fiscally conservative and socially liberal and for obscure reference to indigenous African religion.Finally any references to me as a drunk or drug user are purely as fictional as my career as a transgendered gay male runway model
.