Moose pulled his Hummer into the stadium Valet area, tossed his key to the Hector the Hispanic kid who parked the cars.
"Hey, Moose you gonna hit one for me today? Called Hector
"Yeah kid - 3rd inning. I hit one out for you and you get me a date with your sister Eileen" "
Sure thing Moose you know she's only seventeen" replied Hector as he climbed up into the bright yellow machine.
"Yeah but that's in Colombian years, Dude" Moose laughed heartily and walked across the short concourse and into clubhouse. He pushed past Spanky the clubfooted clubhouse manager, who fell awkwardly into the side of the scalding hot tub.. "Move it Spanks..I'm late.."
Moose scowled and made his way past the guys as they were dressing towards his double locker at the end of the row.
"Well looked what the fucking cat dragged in - you are late Pal" It was Rusty Potato the team's loquacious and inept good guy manager.
"Sorry Skip, I would have been here on time but it took longer than usual to please your daughter", This retort brought peals of laughter and under-the-arm fart sounds from the players as they good naturedly called out names like bi-eetch, hoe, skankette, skag and other pet names for the Skip's youngest daughter, Lucy.
Moose stood in front of his locker door mirror and gazed momentarily at his 6'5" frame and shaved head - God damn I'm a hunk he thought. He opened the door and there it was his uniform shirt #1 - Seaman. Moose Seaman had shot through the minor leagues and this was only his 3rd season but already he was a team leader, starting first baseman and was beginning to think abut the big big big contract that loomed at the end of this season. "Yo, Senor Mouse" It was the slick fielding 2nd baseman of Pittsburgh Pirates Julio Julio.
"Fuck you Glue-Boy, you little hispo-faggot turd" Julio lifted his left leg onto the bench in front of his locked and bending over while clasping his knee with both hand ripped off a tremendous gaseous release.
"Who shit?" Called LaRonne Robinson? Robby was the Pirates leadoff centerfielder who also played point guard for the Boston Celtics.
"Mexican Crop duster - Dive Dive Dive Dive" called out Charyles Suggs the Pirates backup catcher and practical joker! The clubhouse was roaring. Camaraderie before a big game. This was what its all about thought Moose, this is the big time.
"All right you jokers, everyone in the dug in 10" Called out Rusty Potato as he pulled a polished Austraillian Q-Tip from its silver carrying case and began to absently rub it behind his left ear "What a great bunch of guys..Man, I don't get why we are already in last place 9 games out. But hey its early, the law of averages says we'll get hot soon. "Lets go Duck" Rusty called to his pitching Duck Dickhouse who was still in the bathroom stall dropping a load" "Go on up Skip I'll done in about 15". Rusty headed up the hall towards the filed he was pumped.