January 20th 1949 and world was introduced to the incredibly cute little baby Mads...60 years have come and gone and I am still alive! It is time for a milestone celebration. At first I thought I would throw a party and invite all RRs...but most of you live too far away, plus it is nearly impossible to organize an RR outing of any size. But I am determined that every RR cough up some bucks and buy me a present. Christ on a hubcap, I am at the age where I could easily die in the next 20 to 22 years, so I want your love now! What is it that I want for my 60th birthday you ask in breathless anticipation? No its not a RH power hitting left fielder, nor is it a job, not even a new car, my 1994 Camry with 183,442 miles is just fine. Here's what I want from each of you:
3 canned food items from each and every Red reporter. 1 can of tuna/stew, 1 can of fruit and 1 can of vegetables. that's right God Damn it. 3 cans of food. Now I'm not stupid enough to give you my home address for you to send them to me and even if I did the stuff would get stolen because I live in the ghetto.
Just buy me 3 canned food items and just drop it off at your local 'Free Store', Welfare Kitchen or Wherever this kind of place is in your town. I'll be around and get the stuff later. When you give me my present please just 'rec' me at this posting and then I won't have to hound you for it. OK, Got it? - Good.(No Justin you don't have to gift wrap it).
* Historical Footnote: Title of this diary references the old Lesley Gore song "It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To". When YOU happen to turn 60, I'll will buy too. You know I so wanted to be Lesley Gore's goy toy when I was about Crolfer's age....,