Name an Old Person

The grinding feeling in my brain is becoming too much to bear, and I really want someone to at least put my mind at rest going into the season somewhat, I can feel the anxiety in my very bones.

Manny isn`t going to happen, and I never thought the Reds would ever look at him, because we are a franchise of vaginas. After Manny, the talent pool is rather talentless when it comes to RHB, making the Gomes signing not bad, but semi-annoying. I just can`t see our LF move being a minor league signing, but if we have already gone down this path, I am guessing there will be one or two more signings of about the same calibur to get some competition to drive talent.

Now if we`re aren`t going to explore a trade, at this point when you look at what is left, signing Andrew Jones is a smart move as opposed to a dumb one, after that Moises Alou, simply because he is rough. Keep in mind this is a platoon scenario, because most of these guys are decrepit.

I looked at Japanese outfielders, and there really aren`t any coming out this year worth going after, or that would fill our needs. The closest is switch-hitting Tatsuhiko Kinjoh, here`s his line .286/.391/.340.

Sammy Sosa hit 21 hr in 2007 in 412 AB and he wants to play this year. There is another RHB....he could be power off the bench, but thats about all.

Bernie Williams wants to play, and I think he is taking part in the WBC this year, in his last year he posted .281/.332/.436 in 420 AB from switch, if he fares well why not? Because he is a geezer.

What other kinds of trades should we look at? If we aren`t going to spend money why not take a chance? Here are some people we could go after without giving up much at all:

Reed Johnson- The Cubs have depth, and I don`t think he has been able to show his full potential, without enough consistent AB`s....his line is .284/.344/.411 I think he is impressive and has the ability to knock em around if you gave him the chance.

Some others we could look at....Cody Ross from the Marlins, because they will get rid of anyone. I think at this point I would be happy with Swisher, real happy. Gary Matthews is another option,  Willy Mo Pena or Kearns, but ehhhhh.

I would also cream in my pants if Stubbs had a big Spring Training. I think out of all of this I would be happy with Gomes if we signed Swisher, but I just have a feeling it won`t happen. Just pick up Fred McGriff, who will forever be the hardest person that has ever existed, and then we can work on our defensive fundamentals with his video cassette series.