Cincinnati Reds @ Chicago Cubs GameThread, Aug 20, 2008 8:05 PM EDT

First

Now we’ll win!

People Don't Kill People. Burning Couches Kill People.

by crolfer on Aug 20, 2008 6:03 PM EDT 0 recs

A new good luck charm? We'll win for sure...

People Don't Kill People. Burning Couches Kill People.

by crolfer on Aug 20, 2008 6:04 PM EDT 0 recs

congrats slyde

you sell the cincinnati home or the michigan home?

if it was the cincinnati one where are you moving?

I’ll be asking more personal questions later

"Personally, I think he's probably a really big Lance Bass fan." ~ Marty on Doc

by chandrathan on Aug 20, 2008 6:07 PM EDT 0 recs

oh... yeah, congrats on that... That's kind of a big deal ain't it?

People Don't Kill People. Burning Couches Kill People.

by crolfer on Aug 20, 2008 6:08 PM EDT up 0 recs

from what I hear

congrats, brother Slyde. At least something good can come of this August.

...because there's already someone posing as Jacob Brumfield

by Cy Schourek on Aug 20, 2008 7:13 PM EDT up 0 recs

the Cincinnati one

And we’ll be moving in Cincinnati, hopefully to a better school district and a slightly bigger house.

I’m more a hello man and a welcome man than a good-bye man. And to me Adam Dunn was more a person than a player.

by Slyde on Aug 20, 2008 9:03 PM EDT up 0 recs

On a related note...

I just sold Dusty Baker’s house. He’s gonna be so pissed when he gets home and his keys don’t work.

by PeteyHendrix on Aug 20, 2008 6:18 PM EDT 1 recs

I lawled

People Don't Kill People. Burning Couches Kill People.

by crolfer on Aug 20, 2008 6:19 PM EDT up 0 recs

We could kidnap him

With the promise of a pheasant or three I’m sure he could be lured into a box/stick/rope trap, then sent off to live on a farm way out in the country somewhere.

How can such a good looking man be so bad at getting to first base?

by jch24 on Aug 20, 2008 6:28 PM EDT up 0 recs

pitfall trap?

People Don't Kill People. Burning Couches Kill People.

by crolfer on Aug 20, 2008 6:29 PM EDT up 0 recs

Yes, that’s good…we’ll take a bunch of underachieving former players of his, put them in an open hole/dungeon, and then cover it with a bed of toothpicks. When he comes by and hears the calls of crappy players past, he’ll find himself unable to resist the temptation to pluck a toothpick from the bunch…and SNAP! As he bends over to grasp an oral fixation device, Homer Bailey will spring from the bushes with a bowie knife (and inflated ERA) to add the Reds’ skipper to his list of victims. And Homer will feed Dusty’s entrails to the plebeians in the HomerHole® while they scream in horror at what they all have done…

by PeteyHendrix on Aug 20, 2008 6:37 PM EDT up 0 recs

No, silly

The kind I use at home:

How can such a good looking man be so bad at getting to first base?

by jch24 on Aug 20, 2008 6:38 PM EDT up 0 recs

That's solid!

What bait would best attract Dusty Baker? Perhaps a circa-1977 Pam Grier? Or maybe a circa-1977 Elton John…

Golly, somebody needs to tell me how to paste pix on the blog and quote others like you cool folks do…

by PeteyHendrix on Aug 20, 2008 6:43 PM EDT up 0 recs

Things to bait the Dusty trap:

- Australian chewing sticks
- Corey Patterson in a Playgirl spread
- Pheasants
- Tom Emanski videos

Also Petey, those little icons between the title box and the body box might help you out on your quest.

"My wife ain't never ran and got me no pheasant." - Fistbands

by BK on Aug 20, 2008 6:46 PM EDT up 0 recs

Sexy!

Now I can rule the world with imagery!

by PeteyHendrix on Aug 20, 2008 6:48 PM EDT up 0 recs

Javier Valentin is so slow...

…if he ran any slower, he’d be going backwards. You know, like the Reds organizationally.

by PeteyHendrix on Aug 20, 2008 6:30 PM EDT 0 recs

hmm

Javier Valentin is so slow, he’s still running from dinosaurs.

I don’t even know what that means.

Phone's ringing, Dude.

by rjdio on Aug 20, 2008 6:54 PM EDT up 0 recs

actually I think the dinosaurs are running from Javy...

People Don't Kill People. Burning Couches Kill People.

by crolfer on Aug 20, 2008 7:06 PM EDT up 0 recs

I'm bored at work

So allow me to stir things up a bit while we wait for first pitch…
http://theredsrocket.blogspot.com/2008/08/big-red-rant-by-petey-hendrix-81908.html

by PeteyHendrix on Aug 20, 2008 6:39 PM EDT 0 recs

How did you get the picture embedded in your blog....

If you didn’t know how?

I smell a rat……

How can such a good looking man be so bad at getting to first base?

by jch24 on Aug 20, 2008 6:52 PM EDT up 0 recs

Javier Valentin is so slow

Sean Casey could beat him in a footrace to a plantain buffet. With a rock in his shoe. And Javy on his shoulders. In full equipment.

by PeteyHendrix on Aug 20, 2008 6:58 PM EDT 0 recs

I know what we need to wake the bats...

a batting practice tickle party!

by PeteyHendrix on Aug 20, 2008 7:01 PM EDT 0 recs

Would you guys stop making fun of the greatest pinch hitter of all time...

My pictures shows him winning the catcher’s sprint to see who gets to flog Mike Stanton…of course he’s gained a little weight since then…but he’s fast when he needs to be bitches.

You can tell your uncle stuff that you could not tell your dad. That is kind of the role of an uncle. I feel very much like a father sometimes but sometimes I feel like a teammate.
Dusty Baker

by Madville on Aug 20, 2008 7:13 PM EDT 0 recs

Could we get him to steal if we put a twinkie on third base?

People Don't Kill People. Burning Couches Kill People.

by crolfer on Aug 20, 2008 7:15 PM EDT up 1 recs

LLM NOT FAT

fluffy

Pvt. Pyle, you disgusting fatbody!

by Plowboy5 on Aug 20, 2008 7:19 PM EDT 0 recs

Because you could SMELL them?

People Don't Kill People. Burning Couches Kill People.

by crolfer on Aug 20, 2008 7:20 PM EDT up 0 recs

Question for you guys from a Brewer fan

I was looking at the boxscores from yesterday’s games and I am extremely confused by Mike Lincoln’s line. 0 innings, 3 hits, 4 earned runs. He didn’t walk or hit a batter, but he faced 4 hitters. What the heck happened there? It’s gonna bother me if I don’t figure this out. Catcher’s interference or something?

Oh, and, beat the Cubs for us please

And neck size to baby eating ratio.

by jihad on Aug 20, 2008 7:23 PM EDT 0 recs

he gave up a single

and the the next batter attempted to bunt him over. Votto got to it quickly and threw to 2nd, but he threw it wide and the runner was safe.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Aug 20, 2008 7:25 PM EDT up 0 recs

got it, thanks

dominate Ted Lilly!

And neck size to baby eating ratio.

by jihad on Aug 20, 2008 7:29 PM EDT up 0 recs

sorry pal

this lineup features our two most productive hitters in the 5 and 6 spots, and they have a combined OPS ~.800. this team has been abused by the likes of Brian Moeller. twice.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Aug 20, 2008 7:34 PM EDT up 0 recs

lineup

Dickerson CF
Kepp SS
Bruce RF
Phillips 2B
EdE 3B
Votto 1B
Cabrera LF
Hanigan C
Arroyo P

Patterson sits against the tough lefty Ted Lilly. will the Reds have enough team speed to overcome his absence?

by Charlie Scrabbles on Aug 20, 2008 7:24 PM EDT 0 recs

No Rosales...

But we have a 35-year-old journeyman from the Japanese league in LF.

As we near September, we will continue to provide valuable playing time to our young players and new acquisitions who we feel can become significant contributors at the Major League level.

Try to achieve a balance of derisive laughter and open weeping.

by PeteyHendrix on Aug 20, 2008 7:36 PM EDT up 0 recs

I have a feeling

That letter is going to be quoted a lot over the next six weeks.

How can such a good looking man be so bad at getting to first base?

by jch24 on Aug 20, 2008 7:51 PM EDT up 0 recs

I thought Slyde lived in his mom's basement

Have I been lied to this whole time?

by bengalred on Aug 20, 2008 7:32 PM EDT 0 recs

I've sold the basement

I get to move upstairs.

I’m more a hello man and a welcome man than a good-bye man. And to me Adam Dunn was more a person than a player.

by Slyde on Aug 20, 2008 9:07 PM EDT up 0 recs

Can anyone tell...

which player is seen here checking out donkey’s ass?

It sorta looks to me like my old shop teacher, Mr. Krangle, who had 3 full fingers and a penchant for young Asian boys. But I’m pretty sure he’s doing time in Lompoc, not roaming the field during batting practice to glance closely at form-fitting polyester that hides only one’s inflated OBP.

by PeteyHendrix on Aug 20, 2008 7:42 PM EDT 0 recs

i'm guessing kearns

"Personally, I think he's probably a really big Lance Bass fan." ~ Marty on Doc

by chandrathan on Aug 20, 2008 8:05 PM EDT up 0 recs

So.....

Lohse got suspended five games for throwing at EV. Sweet.

How can such a good looking man be so bad at getting to first base?

by jch24 on Aug 20, 2008 7:52 PM EDT 0 recs

who knew Lohse had cajones?!?

by obc2 on Aug 20, 2008 7:55 PM EDT up 0 recs

gabby

Kentuck Arts Festival: October 18th.
Details at Sinful Savage Tigers

by Man Mountain on Aug 20, 2008 8:15 PM EDT up 0 recs

And score one for literalism!

by PeteyHendrix on Aug 20, 2008 8:25 PM EDT up 0 recs

"I'm sorry, but not really"

“I was surprised and pretty disappointed,” Lohse said. “My intent wasn’t to hit anybody. My intent was to make the opposing pitcher feel as uncomfortable as I did the at-bat before. The way they interpreted it, it seems like they feel I was trying to hit him.”

Edinson handled the questions like a man:

Volquez, who was not disciplined, learned of the Lohse suspension prior to the Cubs-Reds game.

“I don’t know if he really tried to hit me,” Volquez said. “Maybe he was trying to take me out of the game a little bit, and mess with my concentration.”

Volquez denied having any ill intent when he nearly hit Lohse with a pitch.

“I don’t want to hit a pitcher,” Volquez said. “If I’m going to hit somebody, it’d be position players.”

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080820&content_id=3339807&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb

by ken on Aug 20, 2008 8:18 PM EDT up 0 recs