Who is Johnnypronto?

by Paul Householder on Jul 9, 2008 9:01 PM EDT

boobs recently hypothesized that our friend Johnnypronto is actually Homer Bailey stalking this website and (ahem) yanking our chains:

actually, i think pronto is just homer f***ing with us

It led me to wonder whether that could possibly be the case, but then I wondered whether Homer Bailey would buy a shirt like this, never having mentioned his faith, to my knowledge. I decided that being reticent about one's faith probably would be inconsistent with wearing a shirt like that.

I personally had explored the possibility that Johnnypronto was actually Dusty Baker blogging from the dugout, but then I reconsidered, since he appeared to actually have done more than merely "listen" to the way Homer was pitching. I give Johnnypronto credit for that.

I then wondered, given his hard-headedness regarding the official definition of what is a "quality start" (6 IP, with less than 3 ER) and his single-minded focus on the topic of Homer Bailey, whether he might be Michael, but then I realized that he did not display the same tendencies with respect to posting inane diaries about his single subject.

Thoughts of Michael led me to suspect that Johnnypronto was actually NEILYNG in disguise. I dismissed those thoughts when I realized that he did not tend to use ALL CAPS or references to baby-boomer rock in his posts, nor did he ever ask anyone to "eat a peach" or "build a bridge and get over it."

I then thought, who would want both Daryl Thompson and Homer Bailey demoted to AAA? Who would want Harang to get an MRI?

Therefore, my working hypothesis is that he is actually Josh Fogg.

Any other theories?

Poll

Therefore, who is Johnnypronto?

Homer Bailey

7 votes

Josh Fogg

6 votes

NEILYNG

3 votes

Michael

1 votes

Dusty Baker

1 votes

boobs

24 votes

42 votes | Poll has closed

0 recs | Comment 40 comments

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Comments

he spells and rites 2 good to bea me

The Dusty Path to the World Series!*

*Note this is not an endorsment of Dusty Baker.

by justin007000 on Jul 9, 2008 9:24 PM EDT 0 recs

Oh...Forgot one possibility...

Dr. Tim Kremchek. But he wanted Homer to have an MRI. The real Dr. Stick would have mentioned the Injury Stick.

Hey Dusty...Are you sure you're OK? You might need an MRI.

by Paul Householder on Jul 9, 2008 9:28 PM EDT 0 recs

Will the real Johnnypronto please stand up?

I am Johnnypronto

Hope Springs Eternal! Go Reds

by Caleb on Jul 9, 2008 10:43 PM EDT 0 recs

I am Spartacus

I am spartacus

sig lines are for suckas

by jch24 on Jul 9, 2008 10:46 PM EDT up 0 recs

We are all Johnnypronto someimes.

Hey Dusty...Are you sure you're OK? You might need an MRI.

by Paul Householder on Jul 9, 2008 11:23 PM EDT up 0 recs

Well I haven't been on here much this year

so I really have no idea who you are talking about. Sorry :{

Norris Hopper's #1 fan!!!

by Zach K on Jul 9, 2008 11:43 PM EDT 0 recs

Johnnyp

why do you ask if we have any other theories but the poll only let’s us choose the theories you already mentioned?

Maybe it’s Harang, and he’s been screaming for an MRI for weeks.

by Brian B on Jul 10, 2008 9:23 AM EDT 0 recs

That's what "boobs" is for.

(along with messing up the poll results by giving people a choice everyone picks no matter what they really think).

Hey Dusty...Are you sure you're OK? You might need an MRI.

by Paul Householder on Jul 10, 2008 2:30 PM EDT up 0 recs

Boobs is (are?) running away with this.

The guy who initially asked the question is definitely J-pronto.

"My wife ain't never ran and got me no pheasant." - Fistbands

by BK on Jul 10, 2008 10:58 AM EDT 0 recs

Yes.

In kind of a “whoever dealt it smelt it” kind of way.

Hey Dusty...Are you sure you're OK? You might need an MRI.

by Paul Householder on Jul 10, 2008 8:55 PM EDT up 0 recs

Boobs running

.gif please?

by Brian B on Jul 11, 2008 1:15 AM EDT up 0 recs

He's extremely quick and good.

by battlekow on Jul 14, 2008 2:02 AM EDT up 0 recs

It could only be Red Herring!

He's doing it. He's eating a tire!

by Man Mountain on Jul 10, 2008 11:48 AM EDT 0 recs

JohnnyPronto is probably a guy named John

John Fay?

What do you mean, "blank slate"?

by boobs on Jul 10, 2008 11:49 AM EDT 0 recs

If it is John Fay

Then he was probably trying to use the anonymity of the intertubes to declare his love for barely legal, hardcore erotica. He would no longer be Fay, he would be Johnny Porno!

Then he spelled it wrong.

by Brendanukkah on Jul 10, 2008 12:01 PM EDT up 2 recs

Soooooo Wrecked.

sig lines are for suckas

by jch24 on Jul 10, 2008 12:33 PM EDT up 0 recs

Received!

by Brian B on Jul 10, 2008 3:02 PM EDT up 0 recs

Screw mercy!

"I've been rapping for about seventeen years, okay? I don't write my stuff anymore. I just kick it from my head. I can do that. No disrespect, but that's how I am."

by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Jul 10, 2008 4:42 PM EDT 0 recs

crap, posted in the wrong thread

"I've been rapping for about seventeen years, okay? I don't write my stuff anymore. I just kick it from my head. I can do that. No disrespect, but that's how I am."

by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Jul 10, 2008 4:43 PM EDT up 0 recs