Alex Rodriguez Boinking Madonna

by Blue on Jul 1, 2008 5:49 PM EDT Comment 39 comments

http://www.usmagazine.com/exclusive-ny-yankee-making-late-night-visits-to-madonnas-apartment

Us Weekly reports in its new issue, on newsstands tomorrow, that Madonna's seven-year marriage to Guy Ritchie has stalled out – and the singer has been hosting late-night visits from New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez at her Central Park West apartment in New York City.

Okay. I don't care about this at all. It does explain her presence at Yankee Stadium during the Reds recent trip. I imagine some pretty good "A-Rod" jokes can come from this. A-Rod. haha!

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Uh, boy

Would A-Rod really be this dumb? He had to know boinking Madonna would end up in the tabloids.

The last time he got busted by the tabloids, his wife moved out and he had to buy her some pricey jewelry to make it up to her.

Not to mention it makes him look like a pig, what with his wife having just given birth to their second child and all. Sure, leave her home with the 2am feedings and the dirty diapers, while he boinks Madonna.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Jul 1, 2008 5:57 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I kinda doubt she's doing much of that.

I mean, surely they have around-the-clock nannies for that stuff, right?

by Gray on Jul 1, 2008 6:13 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

Rec'd

His wife is doing just fine I’m sure. Anyone know what the FL laws on divorce property rights are? And did he marry her before the eleventy bajillion dollar contract or after?

sig lines are for suckas

by jch24 on Jul 1, 2008 9:31 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I looked up FL law for a friend once

It’s a “no fault” state, meaning that you don’t need to show cause to get a divorce. But I’m not sure what that means for the division of the assets. Probably doesn’t matter; I’m guessing someone who’s as self-aware as he is made a prenup a prerequisite.

by ken on Jul 1, 2008 9:49 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Do they have community property in FL, like in CA?

No fault seems to go hand in hand with 50-50 split on divorces.

by Brian B on Jul 3, 2008 12:24 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

That makes sense

But I’m not sure. The assets weren’t really an issue when I looked it up back when.

by ken on Jul 3, 2008 7:22 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Predicting tomorrow's Post headline:

(from Gawker.com)

"Glory is upon us, Reds fans! Glory!" ~ F.V. Alan

by Young Lefty on Jul 1, 2008 9:49 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs

that is brilliant

What do you mean, "blank slate"?

by boobs on Jul 2, 2008 12:26 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

That's much better than what they actually went with

which I don’t get at all: MADGE’S BASE BAWL

by Gray on Jul 2, 2008 9:01 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

maybe what they really meant was

“Madge’s Base Ball”

(from urban dictionary):

Balling

A male fornicating with a female.
ex. – “Steve was balling the shit out of Nancy.”

but i guess they didnt have the bawls to spell it right.

Stephen A. Douglas was a great debater, but Abraham Lincoln was the Great Emancipator.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jul 2, 2008 9:58 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'm not sure what madge is supposed to be

is this some nickname I’m supposed to know?

by Gray on Jul 2, 2008 11:15 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

yeah i just heard that one myself

i was still calling her “pointy boobs”. shows how much i keep up with this kinda stuff.

Stephen A. Douglas was a great debater, but Abraham Lincoln was the Great Emancipator.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jul 2, 2008 11:35 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Pretty sure it's a British nickname

The Brit tabloids started calling her that when she moved to England when she married Guy Ritchie. The soccer fan in me hopes this new celebrity couple’s name is MA-Rodonna. Hand of God, arms of Man.

by Brendanukkah on Jul 2, 2008 12:05 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yes

The press has been calling her “Madge” for years now.

The Brits started it. It’s supposedly short for “Your Majesty.”

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Jul 2, 2008 9:37 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

She did Canseco!

That means he’s juicing.

by Red Menace on Jul 1, 2008 11:27 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Don't forget Dennis Rodman

Game. Set. Clap.

sig lines are for suckas

by jch24 on Jul 2, 2008 11:46 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

WHAT A D-BAG

Seriously, what kind of a moron is the guy… And isn’t Madonna like 70 now?

People Don't Kill People. Burning Couches Kill People.

by crolfer on Jul 1, 2008 11:46 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

You're correct young man

Of all the whores on the planet, not sure why he would pick her. Maybe she’s trying to fly in and adopt him before the Yankees can stop her.

"As it says over the door to the Famous Writers' School in Connecticut: A Sullen Drunk Packing A Gat Is Not The Best Company For An Artist Finicky About His Style."

by Pops Daniels on Jul 1, 2008 11:58 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

He's got just four minutes to save the world...

...anybody?

by Red Menace on Jul 2, 2008 1:24 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

She's his type

He likes muscular women who work out. If you don’t have big muscles, he’s not interested. Madonna works out insanely.

I bet she was the object of his adolescent fantasies. Heck, maybe she’s why he likes women with muscles.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Jul 2, 2008 6:29 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

A-rod's pretty out of touch with what's cool these days.

First text messaging with Pete Rose, now this?

by Brian B on Jul 3, 2008 12:26 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Katie Holmes syndrome

Coolness levels froze in 1985

by ken on Jul 3, 2008 7:20 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

There's a couple that's made for each

A-Rodhole deserves what he gets…who knows where that skanky thang has been and who in the hell would want her anyway.

"When I got my award, I just wore my usual stuff," Dunn said.
"Was it for the Reds organization or all of baseball?" Bruce said.

by Madville on Jul 2, 2008 1:52 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

ew shes old I wouldnt even "boik" her

Brent Jonathan Beck

by Brent Beck on Jul 2, 2008 11:06 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Mrs. Rod's revenge

With Lenny Kravitz

http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/news/celebrity/ny-sparod0703,0,2178037.story

by ken on Jul 3, 2008 7:27 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Lenny Kravitz? yuck.

at the end of this marriage, the final score is A-Rod 46, Mrs. A-Rod 2.

Stephen A. Douglas was a great debater, but Abraham Lincoln was the Great Emancipator.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jul 3, 2008 9:26 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Honestly?

I’d probably go for Lenny Kravitz over Madonna.

by Brendanukkah on Jul 3, 2008 9:30 AM EDT up reply actions 3 recs

Rec'd

sig lines are for suckas

by jch24 on Jul 3, 2008 9:38 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

really?

dude, Madonna is still hot, even at 68. she’s not the All-Star she used to be, but she is still a serviceably hot chick.

Stephen A. Douglas was a great debater, but Abraham Lincoln was the Great Emancipator.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jul 3, 2008 12:28 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

If we're doing aged 80's icons

I’ll take Susannah Hoffs.

by Brendanukkah on Jul 3, 2008 12:53 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Final score?

Baby it ain’t over till it’s over

by ken on Jul 3, 2008 9:41 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

That's just like ARod to be effective early

but in the end he’ll find a way to choke

I want a hamburger. No, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips...

by Slyde on Jul 3, 2008 10:48 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

At least he and the missus are going down swinging

(not actually my joke)

by Brendanukkah on Jul 3, 2008 10:51 AM EDT up reply actions 3 recs

But still a good one...

We ain’t no last place team are we Pops ?

by Gray on Jul 3, 2008 11:14 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

(This one is mine)

Can we call the estranged Mrs. Rodriguez “Are You Gonna Go My Way-Rod?”

by Brendanukkah on Jul 3, 2008 12:28 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

The wife

will end up with the same amount of championships.

"As it says over the door to the Famous Writers' School in Connecticut: A Sullen Drunk Packing A Gat Is Not The Best Company For An Artist Finicky About His Style."

by Pops Daniels on Jul 3, 2008 4:42 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

This sure is a fast-moving story...

Now the report is that A-Rod and C-Rod have split up.

Oh, and Lenny Kravitz is just a friend.

We ain’t no last place team are we Pops ?

by Gray on Jul 3, 2008 11:16 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Puh-lease

For the love of me, that A-Rod bitch is just trying hard to create a buncha drama and butch it up ‘cause he is desperate to hide that queen inside. I mean cheating with Madonna? Quh-ween! I bet he just wanted to be a back-up dancer.

by Gay Jesus on Jul 4, 2008 1:16 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs