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RED REPORTER OWNS THE 2008 CINCINNATI REDS

Dump_11_may_096_tiny by Fat Vegas Alan on in Features

Rrbp_medium
We may be entering a recession and the markets may be soft right now but you'll all be pleased and proud to know that Red Reporter is taking an unprecedented step to buy up our own little corner of the interweb.

Check it out. (Scroll down.  No, wait.  Not that far. Scroll back up a bit.  You see it?  Pretty cool, huh?)

For those of you who long ago stopped trusting me to send you off linking to anything worth seeing... just trust me on this one.  It's pretty cool.  (Cooler than poppin' and lockin' for papal pleasure.  And cooler than a hockey rink blowing up under a monster truck race.)

For those of you who don't click on any hyperlinks until after your mom has checked them all out for razorblades and anthrax, I'll just spell it out for you..

Your favorite quiet little out-of-the-way Cincinnati Reds blog has gone big time.  We're sponsoring BaseballReference.com's 2008 Cincinnati Reds page.

Pretty cool, huh?

No?  Seriously?

We've sold out?  We've cashed out our street cred?  We've lost that certain charm that you can spend your whole life searching through semi-literate sports blogs to find?  We're stupid and new?

Wait.  What if I told you.. that umm... that you can win a contest!  Yeah, there ya go.  I knew you'd like that.  Contests are fun and challenging and not without an element of seduction. Kinda like Wheel of Fortune.

Here's what you're gonna do: Come up with a tagline wittier than the one Slyde posted with the initial purchase.  And don't worry, you're not gonna hurt Slyde's feelings.  He wants the tagline to change.  In fact, we're planning to change it monthly or weekly or something.  I can't remember right now.  I'll let you know soon.  But rest assured, when it changes it will be because a Red Reporter came up with something good and it was rec'd a bunch of times and it passed JD's thorough approval process.  (Psst.. Little known secret: JD hardly ever reads his own blog!  For the past eight or ten months he's been pretty busy volunteering and campaigning pretty heavily for Ron Paul.  I know.. weird, right?)

Anyway, get your ideas for the new BR.com tagline put up in this thread below and feel free to discuss this bold sponsorship idea from Bob in Marketing.  And if you've got nothing to contribute along those lines, check out our new partner for a while and then come back and tell us what cool things you found on the most awesome website in all the internet. (Yes! 38 cents every time I type that.)

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Along those lines..

How about: "We've got boobs!"

-Do not play golf behind Dave Parker.

by snohio on Apr 8, 2008 10:22 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

"boobs on every poll"

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 10:26 AM EDT to parent up   1 recs

It was never formally announced

but if you haven't noticed, FVA is the latest in a short line of RR admins. We're hoping that between FVA, boobs, and myself, there will always be somebody around to break whatever needs breaking. It will also hopefully help JD sleep a little better since he's been having troubles lately. It seems that since the U.S. changed the $5 bill last week, he can't get comfortable anymore on his bed made of all of the money his blogging enterprise bestows upon him. Sleep well, JD, on your pillow of Andrew Jacksons.

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 12:14 AM EDT   0 recs

Point of Parliamentary Order

Are there contingencies in place for orderly transfer of power if Alan decides to off himself again?

I've got a plan and it's as hot as my pants...

by Man Mountain on Apr 8, 2008 11:06 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

He'll have to beat some people to the punch

Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, Alan.

by Brendanukkah on Apr 8, 2008 11:08 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Ha ha. So you're the man cub, eh? Crazy.

Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch...?

by Fat Vegas Alan on Apr 8, 2008 11:25 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Of course

there is an extensive order of succession set up. I have a chart around here somewhere...hmmm...it was here a minute ago. Ah, no bother, if he offs himself, we'll just pick somebody from the audience to play his part. Frankly, a monkey could do his job.

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 11:15 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

That's racist.

"My wife ain't never ran and got me no pheasant." - Fistbands

by BK on Apr 8, 2008 11:15 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

My conribution

"We were here in the beginning, we'll be here at the end."

Please Note: I may be totally full of shit.

by jch24 on Apr 8, 2008 12:26 AM EDT   1 recs

Oh, and I almost forgot...

If you like the Cincinnati Reds and if you like Red Reporter and if you like Baseball Reference and if you like the fact that Red Reporter is sponsoring Baseball Reference's Cincinnati Reds page, then you might think about sending Slyde an email and he'll let you know how you can hook a brother up with a few ducats to help pay for like the cups and the ice and stuff.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Apr 8, 2008 12:44 AM EDT   0 recs

i thought we were rolling out a pyramid scheme

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Apr 8, 2008 12:46 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

You make it sound so dirty

when really it's an opportunity for everyone. You see, all that happens is that I make the purchase and then receive money from you and FVA to help cover my costs. Then you receive payments from 2 other people each to cover your expenses, with 50 cents of every dollar you receive coming up to me to again cover my expenses. Then, your friends pay you 50 cents of every dollar they receive from their friends and so on down the line. See, everybody benefits.

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 7:12 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Boobs, I still don't fully understand it.

But Slyde is just so good with numbers and I was talking to his Aunt Rosie after the motivational speaker he took us to see last week and she said Slyde's got a job "in computers". So he must know how to make money off of all this stuff.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Apr 8, 2008 9:08 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Listen to the man

I can tell he knows a good opportunity when he sees it.

And don't think that you can only invite two friends. The more friends you invite, the more money you make in pure profit. Since I had the initial, upfront cost, I'm just looking to recoup the expenses. You guys are in what I like to call the "Profit Position". All it takes is for you to say "YES".

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 9:18 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

hey look c trent is holding the funnel

"The only people who like Jimmy Buffett are frat boys and alcoholic girls in the south" ~ Eric Cartman

by chandrathan on Apr 8, 2008 12:55 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Thinking the same.

I was thinking it looked a lot like C Trent as well.

-Do not play golf behind Dave Parker.

by snohio on Apr 8, 2008 10:34 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Red Reporter: Guarenteed to make you cumb faster than any site on the 'net

"The only people who like Jimmy Buffett are frat boys and alcoholic girls in the south" ~ Eric Cartman

by chandrathan on Apr 8, 2008 12:54 AM EDT   0 recs

That will get us some hits

The season doesn't start until the Cincinnati Reds take the field! Reclaim The Opener!!

by TheC on Apr 8, 2008 8:54 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Howabout..

Red Reporter: "Cumb on over!"

by Fat Vegas Alan on Apr 8, 2008 10:14 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Or..

Red Reporter: Common!

Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch...?

by Fat Vegas Alan on Apr 8, 2008 11:26 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

I like that one

I feel like a fat kid at Baskin Robbins. 31 flavors is too much choice.

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 2:29 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Come here and sit on my lap.

I'll tell you if you feel like a fat kid.

Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch...?

by Fat Vegas Alan on Apr 8, 2008 2:35 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

maybe because its 3 in the morning and i just finished a paper

but this is the best i can do
RR: VORB (Value Over Replacement Blogger)= 100 runs/posts
or
RR: where alcoholism and stats collide

by johnny cueto thinks we're sellouts on Apr 8, 2008 3:09 AM EDT   0 recs

I've got a couple as of now:

1) Bringing you the pheasant since 2005.

2) Participatory Sports Journalism. Drunken Debauchery. Veteran Presence.

Tanzen!

by Verka Serduchka on Apr 8, 2008 8:12 AM EDT   1 recs

You can't put two in the same one, that's confusing

I'm only rec'ing the first one, but I'm docking you for intentional shenanigans.

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 8:29 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Mucho.

2) Participatory Sports Journalism. Drunken Debauchery. Veteran Presence.

Tanzen!

by Verka Serduchka on Apr 8, 2008 8:38 AM EDT to parent up   2 recs

How am I the only person who's rec'd this?

Fantastic.

"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on Apr 8, 2008 7:54 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Slyde - why not check out the latest Coutlangus thread

I'm sure there's a slogan or two in there that are worthy of consideration.

Red Reporter - Now a kid-safe, Coutlangus-free zone!

The season doesn't start until the Cincinnati Reds take the field! Reclaim The Opener!!

by TheC on Apr 8, 2008 9:01 AM EDT   0 recs

I wish there was a sports book

where I could've put money on you to own this thing.

I've got a plan and it's as hot as my pants...

by Man Mountain on Apr 8, 2008 10:41 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Along those same lines

Red Reporter: So much veteran presence, you'll cumb!

"My wife ain't never ran and got me no pheasant." - Fistbands

by BK on Apr 8, 2008 11:12 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Looking at the player's pages

This poor guy sponsored the Edison Volquez page. Here's his tagline:

"Less than 72 hours after purchasing this page, the Rangers dealt Volquez to the Reds for Josh Hamilton. What a lucky guy I am."

by rojosoto on Apr 8, 2008 11:32 AM EDT   0 recs

Yes, that would be me

So, anybody here interested in buying his page?

I flipped a coin to decide whether I would buy Volquez's or Joaquin Benoit's page. Volquez was heads. True story.

Baseball Time in Arlington

by jamcadbury on Apr 8, 2008 6:08 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Well, I think you still own the page of a fine player

Very savvy move in picking him up. Just kind of a shame that he's not on your favorite team anymore, but you can gain solace from the knowledge that he will be a productive major league player - maybe even a star! Or you can take solace in the fact that Josh Hamilton is also an amazing stud.

In three years, Joaquin Benoit will be helping me move.

by Brendanukkah on Apr 8, 2008 6:14 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Red Reporter

"We mean well"

The season doesn't start until the Cincinnati Reds take the field! Reclaim The Opener!!

by TheC on Apr 8, 2008 11:51 AM EDT   0 recs

Red Report

"No Dunn hating allowed."

-Do not play golf behind Dave Parker.

by snohio on Apr 8, 2008 12:18 PM EDT   0 recs

Red Reporter

supported by actor Willie Ames from TV's "Charles in Charge."

I'm thirsty.

by Pops Daniels on Apr 8, 2008 1:08 PM EDT   0 recs

Red Reporter

Hooah!

Scared by the new look...

by crolfer on Apr 8, 2008 1:14 PM EDT   0 recs

It's Hooha!

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 1:23 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

That's what I said... Cough...

Scared by the new look...

by crolfer on Apr 8, 2008 4:13 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

have you been... smoking?

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Apr 8, 2008 4:17 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Yes!

Pushing alcohol and cigarettes on teenagers since 2005!

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 4:19 PM EDT to parent up   1 recs

ah...

Scared by the new look...

by crolfer on Apr 8, 2008 5:03 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Red Reporter:

Satisfying your baseball related fetishes.

I'm thirsty.

by Pops Daniels on Apr 8, 2008 1:30 PM EDT   0 recs

That's racist!

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 2:08 PM EDT to parent up   2 recs

Ha! Good one.

Rec'd.

Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch...?

by Fat Vegas Alan on Apr 8, 2008 3:21 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

That's racists!

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 3:57 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Are we going on RECs

I've REC'd a couple. Add them up and go by that number..

-Do not play golf behind Dave Parker.

by snohio on Apr 8, 2008 2:34 PM EDT   0 recs

yes

please rec your favorites. The most rec'd will have the honor. We'll give it a couple of days though.

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 2:39 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Red Reporter

"Because I never really loved you."

Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch...?

by Fat Vegas Alan on Apr 8, 2008 2:39 PM EDT   2 recs

No wireless?

This may be the one thing that causes me to reevaluate my life's path.

by Brendanukkah on Apr 8, 2008 2:45 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Nope, it's all 9600 baud on Prodigy, c. 1995

You want hell? I'll give you HELL!

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 2:48 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

This one is so...I don't even have the words for it.

rec'd.

WHY SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!

by Slyde on Apr 8, 2008 3:42 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Don't worry

I rec'd it if only because it made perfect sense to me.

Please Note: I may be totally full of shit.

by jch24 on Apr 8, 2008 5:14 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Red Reporter

Double switching Norris Hopper for Adam Dunn since 2008

Are there any more dinner rolls? -President Ted Kennedy

by The Crushinator on Apr 8, 2008 3:39 PM EDT   1 recs

Even Red Reporter does the Castro

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Apr 8, 2008 3:41 PM EDT   1 recs