Biggest Spring Training Surprise?

by justin0070000 on Feb 14, 2008 4:22 PM EST

Camp Dusty is set to open Saturday. Every spring training there are a couple of surprises. What do you think will be the biggest surprise this spring?

I'll go first because I created this diary.

Kent Mercker's velocity is around 91 MPH and he makes the team. He takes Stanton's spot as "old left handed guy in the bullpen who may or may not have used H.G.H.", but Mercker is much funnier, and more of a pleasure to be around. Plus Mercker had brain surgery and that is always cool. Stanton is DFA'ed. Stanton is also DFA'ed to cut down on the price of charter flights, as Delta begins to charge Cincinnati by the the pound.

In a related move the Reds force Todd Coffey to have his stomach stapled.

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Um

Have you seen Todd Coffey? Dude went all Jenny Craig on us in the off-season:

(Thanks BubbaFan for the picture, even if you didn't know you were giving it up)

I'm not superstitious...but I am a little stitious.

by Slyde on Feb 14, 2008 4:30 PM EST reply actions

Even if you didn't know you were giving it up

Can I use this line in a card for my to-be-determined Valentines date? Y'know, for when she comes to?

(Seriously, is it spring training yet?)

by Brendanukkah on Feb 14, 2008 4:41 PM EST up reply actions

At first I thought that Waynr's

hand on marty's butt caused the look of vacuos pleasure on the Sr. Bennamen's face. but I've since learned that Marty has received 'The George Grande Model' partial lobotomy.

"Men are ruled,this minute by the clock, by liars who refuse them news, and by fools who cannot govern. G.K. Chesterton 1917

by Madville on Feb 14, 2008 5:14 PM EST up reply actions

i forgot

i can't pick on Coffey's weight.

Not that I ever really had a right to, considering a 6 feet and 250lbs.

The Dusty path to the World Series!

by justin0070000 on Feb 14, 2008 4:48 PM EST up reply actions

*I'm 6 feet and 250lbs.

The Dusty path to the World Series!

by justin0070000 on Feb 14, 2008 4:52 PM EST up reply actions

i dont know why

but i just pictured everyone on here as 4 feet tall.

except for man mountain.

is it April yet?

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 14, 2008 6:28 PM EST up reply actions

I'm 4'2" and 275

but that's not why they call me soupcan. Hardy friggin Har

Where have you gone Alex Trevino?

by Pops Daniels on Feb 15, 2008 2:50 PM EST up reply actions

How's about "soupcon"

I know a lot of what I say has been lifted off of men's room walls

by Man Mountain on Feb 15, 2008 3:14 PM EST up reply actions

Jenny Craig or no...

I do still see just a hint of b**h t*s peeking out from under Coffey's shirt.

At least it wasn't Grady Little.

by Paul Householder on Feb 14, 2008 4:57 PM EST up reply actions

Coffey

needs to take Josh Beckett to Jenny Craig with him.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 14, 2008 5:02 PM EST up reply actions

I'm confused . . .

Did the photographer make fun of Krivsky's sweater or is that the closest he comes to smiling?

by CablinasianRam on Feb 14, 2008 5:10 PM EST up reply actions

Dunno...

...but he's flipping us off.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 14, 2008 5:12 PM EST up reply actions

its like one of those signs

they tell pow's to give if they are being forced to take a picture in which they have been tortured

"Herein is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us" -1 John 4:10

by shortstopv2 on Feb 14, 2008 10:42 PM EST up reply actions

i dont know what the hell that means

but im assuming its all kinds of fucked up

is it April yet?

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 14, 2008 10:46 PM EST up reply actions

that picture is also a postcard....

to Walt Jocketty.

The Dusty path to the World Series!

by justin0070000 on Feb 14, 2008 11:01 PM EST up reply actions

its something like this

http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/images/hillary_lie.jpg

"Herein is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us" -1 John 4:10

by shortstopv2 on Feb 14, 2008 11:13 PM EST up reply actions

ment to post the picture

"Herein is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us" -1 John 4:10

by shortstopv2 on Feb 14, 2008 11:14 PM EST up reply actions

Isn't there a website

somewhere on the internet dedicated to people who throw themselves into pictures of people who they don't know or have nothing to do with? I guess, technically, anyone looking at that picture who doesn't know any better probably now thinks that Brandon Phillips is the scruffy, bearded, slightly older gentleman in front of the Buckeye Country banner.

And don't tell me he wasn't "posing" - that man knew what was going on.

"...and our brave hero roasts the disabled man."

by Ash on Feb 14, 2008 6:32 PM EST up reply actions

Come on!

Now seriously! Didn't those sweaters go out of fashion a decade ago? People still wear those ugly things?

Quick! Somebody make a Cincinnati loves Ken Griffey Jr. too! video

by TheC on Feb 15, 2008 9:49 AM EST up reply actions

The Fart Button

I predict that somebody will actually push it.

by buckeye22fox on Feb 14, 2008 4:35 PM EST reply actions

that's an ad that keeps appearing on this site

for those who didn't know what I was talking about.

by buckeye22fox on Feb 14, 2008 4:36 PM EST up reply actions

that reminds me

did anyone else make the fat kid throw up a few weeks ago?

I enjoyed that one immensely.

Superbike World Championship is the worldwide superbike championship.

by Man Mountain on Feb 14, 2008 5:36 PM EST up reply actions

Look who's SI's #1 prospect...

(Homer's on the list, too.)

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 14, 2008 9:52 PM EST reply actions

Homer...

...he is SCARY good. (and lookin')

"Sure, I'd like to tape a baseball game without the express written consent of Major League Baseball, but that's just not the way it works." -Hank Hill

by jacob brumfield on Feb 15, 2008 8:28 AM EST up reply actions

Don't let andromache hear you say that

or there will be heck to pay.

I'm not superstitious...but I am a little stitious.

by Slyde on Feb 15, 2008 8:47 AM EST up reply actions

Homers pic isnt as pretty LOL

"Herein is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us" -1 John 4:10

by shortstopv2 on Feb 15, 2008 6:20 PM EST up reply actions

my prediction

jeremy affelt suprises

"Herein is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us" -1 John 4:10

by shortstopv2 on Feb 14, 2008 11:10 PM EST reply actions

I got it

He comes to your FCA and tears a phone book in half...for Christ.

Superbike World Championship is the worldwide superbike championship.

by Man Mountain on Feb 15, 2008 2:48 AM EST up reply actions

apropo of nothing

I keep getting 'Bedard, stop getting faaaaat' in my head now.

by Red Menace on Feb 15, 2008 3:30 AM EST up reply actions

DON'T FORGET

JESUS LOVES CAPITAL LETTERS. YOUR POST SHOULD HAVE REFLECTED THAT.

"Just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it." - George Costanza

by beasleymachine on Feb 15, 2008 8:47 AM EST up reply actions

after reading that blog post ....

I have a feeling Jeremy talks something like THIS.

"Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings."-Sparky

by jacob brumfield on Feb 15, 2008 10:56 AM EST up reply actions

did he join the Power Team?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Power_Team

is it April yet?

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 15, 2008 9:47 AM EST up reply actions

THE MOST RADICAL PROGRAM OF ULTIMATE INTESITY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5OQcIHKOF0

"Herein is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us" -1 John 4:10

by shortstopv2 on Feb 15, 2008 5:14 PM EST up reply actions

i would rather read the bible...

...than watch these crazies

"Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings."-Sparky

by jacob brumfield on Feb 15, 2008 9:36 PM EST up reply actions

i wonder if dunn could do this....

"Herein is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us" -1 John 4:10

by shortstopv2 on Feb 15, 2008 5:19 PM EST up reply actions

I wonder if the Power Team could..

..do this.

Take a look around this dump. You're just a tourist with a typewriter. I live here.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 15, 2008 5:50 PM EST up reply actions

Wow

I forgot about these dudes. We had a high school or Junior high assembly where they brought these guys in. That poster is even gayer than I remember the assembly being.

This situation reminds me of a scene in the movie "New Jack City"... (-Deion Sanders)

by satyanaas on Feb 16, 2008 9:19 PM EST up reply actions

biggest spring training surprise...

...Hopper does not make the 25 man(L. George-is he out of options?)

"Sure, I'd like to tape a baseball game without the express written consent of Major League Baseball, but that's just not the way it works." -Hank Hill

by jacob brumfield on Feb 15, 2008 10:35 AM EST reply actions

According to Reds.com

The following players are out of options:

RHP Bronson Arroyo, IF Juan Castro, RHP Francisco Cordero, IF/OF Ryan Freel, 1B Scott Hatteberg, IF/OF Jeff Keppinger, 2B Brandon Phillips, C David Ross, C Javier Valentin and RHP David Weathers.

Hopper is not on the list, so I guess he has options left.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 15, 2008 10:44 AM EST up reply actions

see that

tattoo that list on your face, George

"Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings."-Sparky

by jacob brumfield on Feb 15, 2008 11:00 AM EST up reply actions

i dont get it....

there are only a certin number of times you can be sent down?

"Herein is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us" -1 John 4:10

by shortstopv2 on Feb 15, 2008 6:17 PM EST up reply actions

ask Brendan's mom

"Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings."-Sparky

by jacob brumfield on Feb 15, 2008 9:32 PM EST up reply actions

rack 'im

I know a lot of what I say has been lifted off of men's room walls

by Man Mountain on Feb 16, 2008 11:20 AM EST up reply actions

if you think about it logically

Hopper was not on the 40 man roster until 2006. It is impossible to burn an option when a player is not on the 40 man, and a player can only burn one option a season. A player has 3 options, Cincinnati has burned 2.

The Dusty path to the World Series!

by justin0070000 on Feb 15, 2008 11:29 AM EST up reply actions

Well it is great to hear

Reds baseball is about a month and a half away

however The Lakers are in a NBA title race so I will be locked in on that until opening day. Go Reds and lets all hope no one gets hurt in spring training.

I Misremember lots of things

by Zach K on Feb 15, 2008 11:22 PM EST reply actions