Gene J. Puskar/AP

I'm feeling sadistic today.  For some reason I've been pondering all of the bad players the Reds have had over the last 8 years and I thought it would be fun (see, sadistic) to take a look at what the roster of futility might look like.  Come join me, won't you?

(My selection criteria is minimum 10 games played at the position over the last 8 years)

Catcher
Starter: Paul Bako (338 PAs, OPS+ of 62)
Backups: Corky Miller (273 PAs, OPS+ of 65), Chad Moeller (49 PAs, OPS+ of 4)

On this team we have to have 3 catchers, right?

First Base
Starter: Jeff Conine (242 PAs, OPS+ of 84)
Backup: Jacob Cruz (312 PAs, OPS+ of 81)

I always liked Jacob Cruz, but he wasn't a very good hitter.

Second Base
Starter: Pokey Reese (474 PAs, OPS+ of 58)
Backup: Donnie Sadler (95 PAs, OPS+ of 42)

Pokey was good defensively, but not that good.

Third Base
Starter: Brandon Larson (332 PAs, OPS+ of 49)
Backup: Tim Hummel (219 PAs, OPS+ of 58)

Was there any question about who this starter should be?  What a flop?

Shortstop
Starter: Juan Castro (1225 PAs, OPS+ of 61)
Backup: Ray Olmedo (388 PAs, OPS+ of 52)

Is there any more indicative stat of the last 8 years than the fact that Juan Castro got over 1200 plate appearances?

Outfield
Starters: Reggie Taylor (505 PAs, OPS+ of 76), Corey Patterson (392 PAs, OPS+ of 48), Ruben Mateo (318 PAs, OPS+ of 71)
Bench: Quinton McCracken (60 PAs, OPS+ of 47), Jason Ellison (56 PAs, OPS+ of 41), Dewayne Wise (46 PAs, OPS+ of 21)

There are so many names to choose from here.  The Reds have had some terrible backup outfielders over the last 8 years.

Starting Pitchers
Eric Milton (66 Starts, ERA+ of 77)
Jimmy Haynes (56 Starts, ERA+ of 84)
Jose Acevedo (54 Starts, ERA+ of 78)
Ryan Dempster (35 Starts, ERA+ of 66)
Ramon Ortiz (30 Starts, ERA+ of 80)

To be honest, I thought it would be much worse.  And it could be worse, but I figured these guys did more damage for their number of starts than Phil Dumatrait (6 starts, ERA+ of 31), Jimmy Anderson (7 Starts, ERA+ of 47), Josh Hall (7 Starts, ERA+ of 48), and Shawn Estes (6 Starts, ERA+ of 56).  At least the Reds didn't give more than 10 starts to any truly terrible starters - except for Josh Fogg (14 starts, ERA+ of 59).

Bullpen
Gary Majewski (88 games, ERA+ of 62)
Joe Valentine (42 games, ERA+ of 64)
Mike Stanton (69 games, ERA+ of 79)
Brian Reith (73 games, ERA+ of 73)
Mike Matthews (35 games, ERA+ of 68)
Kirk Saarloos (34 games, ERA+ of 65)

And there are many, many more.  Damn, the pitching has sucked for a long time.

Who did I miss?  There's plenty out there.  Who would you have chosen that I didn't?  Who doesn't belong on the team?