That Mustache Feeling

by Paul Householder on Aug 22, 2007 11:53 AM EDT Comment 20 comments

Inspired by Brendan's comment last night, I thought it would be a good idea to settle the important issue of which mustache is the definitive Red Reporter Official Mustache. I did not include people who are not going to stick around for long (Jason Ellison) or people who don't seem to be making an effort to actually have a mustache but have a beard and a bit of 5:00 shadow on their upper lip (Arroyo, Harang, etc.). So who's got the best mustache on the Reds? boobs is not a choice this time, because I find the concept itself somewhat disturbing.

Is it the classic LLM mustache?

Or is it the up-and-coming "Cantustache"?

Everyday Eddie?

The Most Valuable Mustache for 2007?

NoHo, the scrappiest mustache on the team?

In all fairness, I had to add McJeffsky's Bucco Bruce look, but I doubt it's anyone's favorite (and according to Bubbafan, it's been shaved off):

Poll

Who's got the best mustache?

NoHo

2 votes

Gary Majewski

6 votes

LLM

8 votes

Jorge Cantu

13 votes

Eddie Guardado

1 votes

Junior

2 votes

32 votes | Poll has closed

0 recs | Comment 20 comments

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Or

Even though not on the roster, Chris Welch has the definitive 'satche in the organization. Whisker for whisker you will never find a finer example, especially when he dons a uniform and smuggles plums for a mind-boggling pre-game segment. But if we happen to acquire Jeff Kent, all bets are off.

I Is Unacculturated in an antrhropological sort of way

by Pops Daniels on Aug 22, 2007 12:06 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I agree

And I have to point out the greatest baseball related mustache piece ever written: Paul Lindblad Ponders Growing a Mustache. His upper lip remains bare, suggesting that he decided in the negative, but his expressive eyes overrule this suggestion, making clear that the matter remains unresolved.

Anyone else crushing on the Webb Alert chick?

by Red Menace on Aug 22, 2007 1:52 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

and dunn hasn't been shaving recently

I love the Reds no matter what!

by Daedalus on Aug 22, 2007 12:33 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I've gotta protest

that the Creeper is not in the poll.

All other 'staches (including mein own) pale in comparison.

Though if I were to limit myself to just the people in the poll, then Everyday Eddie is the choice.

"I'd walk through hell in a gasoline suit to play baseball" - Pete Rose

by Officer Dibble on Aug 22, 2007 1:58 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I voted for Jorge.

His is the only one that comes anywhere close to my two alltime favorite mustaches.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 22, 2007 2:41 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Call me crazy...

..but yes, I have two alltime favorite mustaches.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 22, 2007 2:43 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Are you a Burt Reynolds Mustache fan?

If Krivsky doesn't exercise Adam Dunn's 2008 option, I'm a Mets fan until they fire him.

by Paul Householder on Aug 22, 2007 4:09 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I prefer...

..a tragic mustache.

Burt has led a pretty charmed life, when you think about it.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 22, 2007 11:54 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

All the movies where he had a mustache

Suck, I think. All the movies where he didn't have a mustache were good.

If Krivsky doesn't exercise Adam Dunn's 2008 option, I'm a Mets fan until they fire him.

by Paul Householder on Aug 23, 2007 9:50 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

What about "Boogie Nights"?

I mean, it wasn't as great as Magnolia but it sure didn't suck as bad as Magnolia.

"She rules at the grimace!" ~Cameron Delaney's Daddy

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 23, 2007 9:15 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

That is an absolutely classic

Picture of Oates.

Now that he has shaved his mustache, I feel like a part of me has died. Along with his career.

"I'd walk through hell in a gasoline suit to play baseball" - Pete Rose

by Officer Dibble on Aug 22, 2007 3:14 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Vote for Welsh

My vote goes to Chris Welsh.

2-0 count: one pitch, one zone

by rojosoto on Aug 22, 2007 3:35 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Mastache Vote: Magic Man

This is one thing we can thank Greg Vaughn for--getting rid of Cincy's facial hair ban. I love the stache. We're not up to par with the A's back in the '70s yet, but there's always hope.

by tonywf on Aug 23, 2007 3:00 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I hate the McJeffsky Mustache

It has always signaled impending doom (or four straight hits for the other side in a close game).

I have noticed that ever since he shaved it off in Louisville, he has not sucked quite so much. It could be a reverse Samson thing or something like that.

If Krivsky doesn't exercise Adam Dunn's 2008 option, I'm a Mets fan until they fire him.

by Paul Householder on Aug 23, 2007 9:41 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Best mustache of all time, hands down

Larry Csonka.

Larry Csonka

"Players have two things to do. Play and keep their mouths shut." -Sparky Anderson

by boohiss on Aug 23, 2007 1:26 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Frank Zappa gets one of my votes

Winfield goes back to the wall, he hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base.'Jerry Coleman'

by Madville on Aug 23, 2007 7:02 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

We need

someone to grow a handlebar mustache. I'd do it but it would be way too gray.. and I'm too old to use Mr Frazier and Mr Hernandez' product

Hope Springs Eternal! Go Reds

by Caleb on Aug 23, 2007 7:22 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Those commercials are great

...and by great, I mean horrific. They might as well say "Dye your 'stache, and hot blonde women will jump on your in hallways." And then they would have to have one of those disclaimers at the bottom that says "*Results not typical" like in diet commercials.

"Screw it. We've got bigger problems than a butter shortage."

by Ash on Aug 24, 2007 12:22 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs