This is too funny not to be on the front page. - JD

http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070802/COL05/708020317/1090

The Hit King addressed a group of 7-14 year olds and their parents at a baseball camp this week. Some highlights (heresay):

-multiple s- and f-bombs

-winning is everything and if you get second place you're a loser

-an Elvis-like entourage

-he was bleeped off that Marge left money in her will to the zoo rather to him

-he saw more of Joe DiMaggio's junk than Marilyn Monroe did

Pete asked the kids to forgive his French. So obviously the organizers should have known that having Rose speak to children is an abominably horrible idea. My question to the Red Reporters: what fictional character does Pete most closely resemble? My money's on Bender from Futurama.