George W. Bush, commissioner of baseball?

by sonant1 on Jul 16, 2007 11:47 AM EDT Comment 61 comments

From the Dayton Daily News:

http://www.daytondailynews.com/s/content/oh/story/sports/pro/2007/06/19/ddn061907audible.html

I also caught the end of something on Sportscenter this morning saying that a reporter had asked the President about this, and he stopped short of saying he wouldn't consider it.

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I wish

They would pick someone that has no direct ties to the owners, but since the owners hire the commissioner, that won't ever happen again. As for Bush, he'd be just like Selig, trying to make the players look bad and keep the owners working together against the players.

chandrathan has come out of the darkness and has seen a great light!

by Slyde on Jul 16, 2007 11:51 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

In that case maybe he'd be great for the job..

..as anything he tries to do is either ignored from the outset or gets fucked up entirely.

"Is (eight) some sort of Australian Rules Bukkake or something?" ~ Man Mountain

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jul 16, 2007 12:03 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Great...

The MLB is going to war with Major League Soccer.

"Give them this: they never let the fact that only half of what they posted was funny stop them from posting still more." - Rastronomicals

by chandrathan on Jul 16, 2007 11:53 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

nuts

i was going to make a joke that mlb would go to war with the nhl, but you beat me to it

Barry Larkin is better than 10 super bowls put together

by Charlie Scrabbles on Jul 16, 2007 11:59 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

and i was going to say

hes going to declare war on the ABA.

by OURob on Jul 16, 2007 12:24 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Most likely

He'd war with the Pakistani Cricket League.

by ken on Jul 16, 2007 2:23 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oh Lord...

Bush is going to kick all the Latin Players out, saying that they're all illegal immigrants... mark my words...

"Can I do Nomo? Uh, no. It's too herky jerky. I'd probably pull a disk." -Ken Griffey Jr.

by crolfer on Jul 16, 2007 12:02 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Also...

Bush would probably give the Rangers their own division... or at least 50 wins to start the season...

"Can I do Nomo? Uh, no. It's too herky jerky. I'd probably pull a disk." -Ken Griffey Jr.

by crolfer on Jul 16, 2007 12:12 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

It must be said

Bush was the only owner that voted against instituting the wild card.

I don't agree with his Bart killing policy, but I do agree with his Selma killing policy.

It's not the negativity. It's the misdirected negativity.

by Red Menace on Jul 16, 2007 1:25 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Do you agree with...

...his choice of footwear?

"Is (eight) some sort of Australian Rules Bukkake or something?" ~ Man Mountain

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jul 16, 2007 2:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

That's Just depressing...

"Can I do Nomo? Uh, no. It's too herky jerky. I'd probably pull a disk." -Ken Griffey Jr.

by crolfer on Jul 16, 2007 2:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I didn't think I could hate him more

But no amount Seussian rhymery can salvage Crocs with Socks.

by Brendanukkah on Jul 16, 2007 2:21 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

What if...

he was wearing a smock and drinking a scotch on the rocks while discussing smallpox?

chandrathan has come out of the darkness and has seen a great light!

by Slyde on Jul 16, 2007 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Something tells me...

You are about to get Calebbed!

Much like I did!

"Give them this: they never let the fact that only half of what they posted was funny stop them from posting still more." - Rastronomicals

by chandrathan on Jul 16, 2007 2:26 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Wow

Lovely story. Still think he one of the four worst presidents in history but that is a lovely story. Wonder if James Buchannan had personal compassion?

I Is Unacculturated

by Pops Daniels on Jul 16, 2007 3:02 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Lovely story, indeed

However, that's what makes him so frustrating for people like me.

In certain situations, he shows an incredible capacity for compassion.

Yet, try explaining his great compassion to the scores (more like tens of thousands) of Iraqi families who have lost loved ones since that war began under such ridiculous pretenses.

Or, talk to people in New Orleans, which, by the way, isn't even close to being rebuilt. You rarely see GWB with his arm around a black man or woman. Where's his compassion for the rising homeless population in this country? Where's his concern that the gap between rich and poor is wider than it's been in 20 years?

So, I think that's a pretty incredible, wonderful, heartfelt story, I really do. But, it just makes me want more from the guy, to be honest.

by bobestes on Jul 16, 2007 5:48 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

and

I'm sorry for the political rant... just how I feel.

by bobestes on Jul 16, 2007 5:49 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

speaking of...

what in the hell happened to caleb? believe it or not, i had a dream that the reason caleb hasnt been around lately is because he became the Bats' starting catcher. i actually dreamed that.

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Jul 16, 2007 6:28 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

i be here

just been really busy lately. Was in Cincy (actually newport) last week end. Went to the Hofbrau Haus for the first time. That place was crazy but we had a great time

Hope Springs Eternal! Go Reds

by Caleb on Jul 16, 2007 7:24 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I live

one block to the east of there. That place is great except for all of the German shit.

I Is Unacculturated

by Pops Daniels on Jul 17, 2007 1:52 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

That be funny...

"Give them this: they never let the fact that only half of what they posted was funny stop them from posting still more." - Rastronomicals

by chandrathan on Jul 17, 2007 1:53 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Blutwurst, Pops?

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jul 17, 2007 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Ya Ya

sex just oozes from that culture.

I Is Unacculturated

by Pops Daniels on Jul 17, 2007 8:55 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

you must know very little about germany

germans are very beautiful people, and there is a reason all of that aryan crap started. blue eyes, blond hair, sculpted cheekbones...not sure what you have against germany aside from maybe watching too many nazi movies. your comment is like making a comment that all americans are hideous after looking at a picture of rosanne barr (although a lot of middle america pretty much does look like her.)

and it's spelled ja, not ya.

Fire DeWayno Sweaterpants!

by Daedalus on Jul 17, 2007 10:39 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

The comment

was offhand, meaningless and intended to be funny- not a sweeping generalization of an entire culture. But, on second thought. I know quite a few actual German transplants and am friendly with them. The personal interactions I have had with them often make me uncomfortable because of their aggressive, cold, and arrogant demeanor. This may be representative of the culture from which they spring, my nature as a middle American jerk-off or those select individuals may just be isolated assholes. Personally I think Roseanne is hot in a bountiful village sort of way. But thanks for correcting my spelling and completely missing the point.

I Is Unacculturated

by Pops Daniels on Jul 18, 2007 10:41 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oh and

did I mention that I'm half German?

I Is Unacculturated

by Pops Daniels on Jul 18, 2007 10:43 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

didn't miss the point

it just wasn't funny. i'm just tired of the whole americans are holier than thou attitude towards any other culture. germany is a fun place, the people are fun, it's where beer was perfected, and it's really unfortunate that hollywood has given america the image that they're all aggressive, cold nazis, and this despite the fact that many, many, many of us are part german.

the bavarians, however, are only nice to you if you're white and not french. it's kind of like the american south in that regard. but they brew good beer - probably the best in all of germany. and the food rox. and if you have to go to the hospital during oktoberfest in munich, the doctors are very nice and it's really cheap to get stitches.

Fire DeWayno Sweaterpants!

by Daedalus on Jul 18, 2007 11:31 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Are you suggesting

your holier than thou attitude toward me right now is somehow more appropriate? I have not been aggressive with you and am not interested in fighting, just wondering what the hell you're so mad about. So, it was a stupid joke, so what? I'm not the idiot you might assume I am.

I Is Unacculturated

by Pops Daniels on Jul 18, 2007 12:03 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

nah

I just thought that story needed to be shared that day. And even that story can't save Crocs with socks

Hope Springs Eternal! Go Reds

by Caleb on Jul 16, 2007 7:26 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Let's see...

He rana bad baseball team which immediately got better after he left.
He traded a 20 year old Sammy Sosa and 19 year old Wilson Alvarez for Harold Baines.
First he said he'd fire anyone in his administration who "broke the law"; now he's going to give a free pass to that "anyone". Which is the exact opposite of the way MLB has treated steroids.

So it's hard to tell if there'd be a difference or not.

just....wow.

by sidnancy on Jul 16, 2007 2:30 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I'd love it.

He would:

-- Cut the luxury tax.
-- Promote trade(s).
-- Give a tax credit for teams adopting players off the waiver wire.
-- Eliminate lefties.
-- Loan no players to the do-nothing UN baseball league.
-- Determine that if a catcher has a "gun," he has every right to bear it.
-- Institute faith-based initiatives that could help the Angels.
-- Boost baseball's economy to its highest level of all-time.
-- Kick Major League Soccer's hind end.
-- Not build a fence, outfield or otherwise, unfortunately.
-- Have an affinity for the leader of the "Reds."
-- Be featured on Fox's game of the week but disdained on the other networks.
-- Not give a rat's fanny about any poll other than the foul pole. That's a sign of leadership.

I'm all for him.

We Are ... Marshall!

by Thundering Turtle on Jul 16, 2007 2:51 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

You make a good case

but...

No lefties = No Junior = No Hamilton = No Dunn = No dice.

by Brendanukkah on Jul 16, 2007 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

No...

I'm pretty sure Dice(-K) is a righty...

"Can I do Nomo? Uh, no. It's too herky jerky. I'd probably pull a disk." -Ken Griffey Jr.

by crolfer on Jul 16, 2007 3:01 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

more that would happen:

*the gap between rich teams and poor teams would widen into a chasm
*salaries would remain stagnant even as the cost of living increased
*the office of the commissioner would be moved to crawford, where it would be used for only 60+ games a season
*he would tell the kansas city royals to pull themselves up by their stirrups (after stealing their stirrups to give to the rangers and yankees)
*he would change the name of the devil rays to the jebs
*metal detectors would be inserted in every ballpark, where you have to arrive two hours before game time
*he would wear a rangers full uniform to the ballpark
*the whole world would hate baseball
*god bless america would be mandatory during the seventh inning. america the beautiful would be mandatory during the fifth inning. that hideous lee greenwood song would be mandatory during the third inning. if you don't sing, you go to gitmo.
*he would put up a world champions banner at arlington in may
*he would disband the players' union
*all star ballots will be made of thicker paper so those chads are impossible to punch out
*major league baseball would be run into the ground just like every business he's run in his life.

Fire DeWayno Sweaterpants!

by Daedalus on Jul 16, 2007 3:43 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

needs to be singled out

*he would put up a world champions banner at arlington in may

That was just wonderful.

Quick! Somebody make a Cincinnati loves Ken Griffey Jr. too! video

by TheC on Jul 16, 2007 4:23 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Opening Day

*metal detectors would be inserted in every ballpark, where you have to arrive two hours before game time

- Ahh, so you were at opening day too, eh! I was PISSED.

'Clutch' to me is the epitome of experimenter's bias.

by TheDude on Jul 16, 2007 8:13 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

well, no

but i did go to the first nats game and there were metal detectors. i was there so early, though, the lines weren't bad.

Fire DeWayno Sweaterpants!

by Daedalus on Jul 16, 2007 10:45 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

If he lets pete in why not?

"Always root for the winner. That way you won't be disappointed." -Tug McGraw

by Zach K on Jul 16, 2007 5:02 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

you know W strikes me as the kinda

guy who'd let Scooter out but not let Pete in. Although it would go a long way towards healing this nation's wounds from 911 to Afghanistan to Iraq if he were made commissioner and did allow Pete back in. It would be W's best hope for a positive legacy.

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me. Rodney Dangerfield

by Madville on Jul 16, 2007 6:07 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

haha very true

How can't be as shitty as bud...could he?

"Always root for the winner. That way you won't be disappointed." -Tug McGraw

by Zach K on Jul 16, 2007 6:19 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Butt Sealslub is a horrible little man

and a shitty commish too

He was the greatest clutch hitter I've played with/ against.He always seemed to be there at the right time with clutch hitting." -Frank White on George Brett

by Madville on Jul 16, 2007 6:21 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

agreed

"Always root for the winner. That way you won't be disappointed." -Tug McGraw

by Zach K on Jul 16, 2007 6:21 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

go to google

type in "national disgrace" then hit i'm feeling lucky...

Fire DeWayno Sweaterpants!

by Daedalus on Jul 16, 2007 8:10 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I did what you said

I typed in "national disgrace" then hit i'm feeling lucky... AND I got picture of W and Jerry Narron strolling along the beach, arm in arm at sunset. Wish I knew how to put photos on the blog like you guys. It was worth sharing. (Jerry had on his Twinkies speedo, kinda creepy)

He was the greatest clutch hitter I've played with/ against.He always seemed to be there at the right time with clutch hitting." -Frank White on George Brett

by Madville on Jul 16, 2007 11:48 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Just

google image search any random thing that comes to mind, and make sure that your "safe search" is off. You'll find some fun stuff.

I Is Unacculturated

by Pops Daniels on Jul 17, 2007 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oh

sorry, you were talking about posting here, my mistake. The wiki is helpful with this.

I Is Unacculturated

by Pops Daniels on Jul 17, 2007 1:57 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

We need to make the link to the Wiki bigger...

and more forceful...

"Give them this: they never let the fact that only half of what they posted was funny stop them from posting still more." - Rastronomicals

by chandrathan on Jul 17, 2007 2:00 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Bigger link?... Blutwurst, Chandrathan?

by Fat Vegas Alan on Jul 17, 2007 2:03 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I have a picture of someone

enjoying a German sausage...

"Give them this: they never let the fact that only half of what they posted was funny stop them from posting still more." - Rastronomicals

by chandrathan on Jul 17, 2007 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

uh

i think a point was missed...the picture he was talking about doesn't really exist, therefore it can't be linked to, therefore no need to point out the wiki...

Fire DeWayno Sweaterpants!

by Daedalus on Jul 17, 2007 2:17 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs