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Around SBN: The Animated GIFs Of January

Battle for Last Place in Baseball

Chimpcelebrate_tiny by nlt-andrew68 on

 Washington

F. Lopez 2b
C. Guzman ss
R. Zimmerman 3b
R. Church lf
A. Kearns rf
D. Young 1b
B. Schneider c  
N. Logan cf
M. Bacsik p

 Cincinnati

R. Freel cf
A. Gonzalez ss
K. Griffey Jr. rf
B. Phillips 2b
J. Conine 1b
A. Dunn lf
E. Encarnacion 3b
D. Ross c
M. Belisle p

lets try not to sink into baseball futility

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its us
vs. ryan, ryan and brian
"Swing away, Bronson." -- sayeth Chris Welsh.

by boobs on May 24, 2007 6:32 PM EDT reply actions  

Oh ye of little faith
We have the Majic Man now.  The answer to the Curse of the Eighth Inning.  

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.  As long as reality allows...


All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named "Bubba"?

by BubbaFan on May 24, 2007 6:35 PM EDT reply actions  

I'm down.
He looks to be in the best shape of his life.

Get, that, dirt off your shoulder.

by satyanaas on May 24, 2007 7:02 PM EDT up reply actions  

Ugh
Majestic may take care of the 8th, but what about the rest of the innings?  :-P


All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named "Bubba"?

by BubbaFan on May 24, 2007 8:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

First.
"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 24, 2007 6:46 PM EDT reply actions  

Simontacchi....
My opinion isn't very popular...

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 6:46 PM EDT reply actions  

LoL. Seriously, I laughed out loud.
Thank you, tHan.
City folks just don't get it.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 7:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

I'm beginning to think...
We were rated a little too highly in this week's HEAT!!
My opinion isn't very popular...

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 7:05 PM EDT reply actions  

Belizzle
needs a good outing my shizzle

by Caleb on May 24, 2007 7:11 PM EDT reply actions  

You watch the bloated Idol finale last night?
My opinion isn't very popular...

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 7:12 PM EDT up reply actions  

not I
recorded it but I didn't understand why they needed 2 hours to announce the winner

by Caleb on May 24, 2007 7:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

They had to let everyone in the entire world sing.
Smokey Robinson, Bette Midler, Green Day, Reuben, Carrie Underwood, Taylor Hicks, Kelly, Clarkson, BB and CC Winans, Gladys Knight.

I'm sure there were more...It was brutal.

My opinion isn't very popular...

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 7:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

mmm
homer to christian guzman... tasty
"Swing away, Bronson." -- sayeth Chris Welsh.

by boobs on May 24, 2007 7:13 PM EDT reply actions  

More takes on GABP
Came across this from Washington Post beat writer I think. I know its been discussed quote a bit here, but its an interesting perspective on GABP beign a hitter's park. Lately, it seems to be much more of one for the opposing team though.
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder.

by satyanaas on May 24, 2007 7:15 PM EDT reply actions  

Cunnythumper ??
what did welsh call him ?
Nobody listens to Andrew

by nlt-andrew68 on May 24, 2007 7:22 PM EDT reply actions  

Cunny thumber:
Any pitcher who does not throw very hard and throws a lot of offspeed pitches....

Heck, that describes our entire bullpen.

Nobody listens to Andrew

by nlt-andrew68 on May 24, 2007 7:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

Used in a sentence...
Coutlangus is a cunny thumber.
"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 24, 2007 7:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

Way to pose Junior...
God that annoys me.
My opinion isn't very popular...

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 7:24 PM EDT reply actions  

jr
dang it. not enough lift on that one

by Caleb on May 24, 2007 7:24 PM EDT reply actions  

GIDP
Don't remember that happening in a while
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder.

by satyanaas on May 24, 2007 7:31 PM EDT reply actions  

What'd I miss?
Not much, apparently.
City folks just don't get it.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 7:42 PM EDT reply actions  

Just another first inning home run :-(
My opinion isn't very popular...

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 7:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

And...
The words "Coutlangus" and "cunny thumber" used in a sentence together.

By the way, does this guy have a NO HITTER?

"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 24, 2007 7:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

Looks like I'm gonna have to
bust out some good luck Newcastle.
Simontacci.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 7:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

And...
I just finished my Doritos and Snickers bars...
My opinion isn't very popular...

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 7:48 PM EDT up reply actions  

You had Doritos?
You were holdin' out on me!
Simontacci.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 7:49 PM EDT up reply actions  

no, wait
maybe you did offer those... My memory is shot.
Simontacci.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 7:49 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah, I told you I had them...
You weren't interested...
My opinion isn't very popular...

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 7:50 PM EDT up reply actions  

Simontacchi...
My opinion isn't very popular...

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 7:52 PM EDT up reply actions  

Well...
There went the perfect game.  He still has a no-hitter, though.
"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 24, 2007 7:51 PM EDT reply actions  

Let me get this straight...
Belisle can draw a walk, but the rest of the team... Guh.
Simontacci.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 7:52 PM EDT reply actions  

Deja Vu...
My opinion isn't very popular...

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 8:00 PM EDT reply actions  

Probably easier said than done,
these guys really need to quit passing these illnesses around.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 8:02 PM EDT reply actions  

So...Who's getting the Big 10 Network?
My opinion isn't very popular...

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 8:05 PM EDT reply actions  

What's older?
Jeff Conine...

Or...

All the double plays that the Reds hit into?

You have mastered Moon Master, you are the Moon Master!

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 8:12 PM EDT reply actions  

Tough choices...
Mike Stanton?
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 8:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

If Chris is serious when he says that
he hasn't figured out how to use his TiVo... that's just sad.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 8:16 PM EDT reply actions  

What'd he say?
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder.

by satyanaas on May 24, 2007 8:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

He and THom were talking about TiVo
and just offhandedly mentioned something about not having figured it out yet. If the man can read, and I assume he can, it'll take him about 5 minutes to know just about everything there is to know about TiVo.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 8:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

Oh, I totally read your previous post as
If Chris is serious when he says that , he hasn't figured out how to use his TiVo...

I was trying to figure out what "that" was. : )

Get, that, dirt off your shoulder.

by satyanaas on May 24, 2007 8:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

Belisle at 80 pitches after 4 1/3
We're gettin' bullpen action tonight, people!
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 8:18 PM EDT reply actions  

DUnn!
Its about time!
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder.

by satyanaas on May 24, 2007 8:24 PM EDT reply actions  

Yay, Dunn!


All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named "Bubba"?

by BubbaFan on May 24, 2007 8:28 PM EDT reply actions  

Dunn giveth
and he taketh away...
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder.

by satyanaas on May 24, 2007 8:34 PM EDT reply actions  

what happened?


All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named "Bubba"?

by BubbaFan on May 24, 2007 8:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

Dove for a ball, missed it
Ideally should have tried to keep it in front of him. Runner scored.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 8:43 PM EDT up reply actions  

thanks
I have MLB.TV, but it's so slow tonight it's unwatchable.  


All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named "Bubba"?

by BubbaFan on May 24, 2007 8:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

He tried to dive to make a play on the ball
and it got by him. Kearns scored from first.
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder.

by satyanaas on May 24, 2007 8:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

Bacsik and his career ERA over 5
shutting down the Reds. Nothing new there.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 8:45 PM EDT reply actions  

this team is lifeless
We're buying the Reds to win. Anything else is unacceptable. -Bob Castellini

by mattg on May 24, 2007 8:51 PM EDT reply actions  

Nice inning
Only threw 7 pitches that inning. 116 total.
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder.

by satyanaas on May 24, 2007 8:51 PM EDT reply actions  

I'd like to see a PH for Belizzle.
Get some runs.
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder.

by satyanaas on May 24, 2007 8:52 PM EDT reply actions  

K
We're buying the Reds to win. Anything else is unacceptable. -Bob Castellini

by mattg on May 24, 2007 8:55 PM EDT reply actions  

i am becoming ambevolant
I am watching Smoltz Glavine on TBS tonight.  

by justin0070000 on May 24, 2007 8:56 PM EDT reply actions  

Boone
From Seattle, to Atlanta. You were close, Welsh.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 8:58 PM EDT reply actions  

Scoreless 8th
I like it. Some runs would be swell.
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder.

by satyanaas on May 24, 2007 9:05 PM EDT reply actions  

Interesting
I just learned two things: Steven Spielberg was born in Cincinnati, and he's a Reds fan.

So now you know.

Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 9:05 PM EDT reply actions  

I just made a run to McDonalds...
And got to listen to Marty for a minute.  He said that a team could pitch a left hander with a broken arm and still beat the Reds.  Ha!
You have mastered Moon Master, you are the Moon Master!

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 9:07 PM EDT reply actions  

Hey.
Let's get an eighth inning of runs!
"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 24, 2007 9:10 PM EDT reply actions  

"Real smart play by Hopper"
Way to go out on a limb there, Welsh.  Because, you know, he was safe.  

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:10 PM EDT reply actions  

David Ross has got to be
the slowest player in the majors.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 9:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

Alan
Where's Alan with his geriatric walker gif?

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:12 PM EDT up reply actions  

Wow
Catcher runs into an out when his run doesn't matter.  Ridiculous.
"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on May 24, 2007 9:11 PM EDT reply actions  

See?
"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on May 24, 2007 9:12 PM EDT up reply actions  

Of course. Of fucking course.
Shit. Of course that happens after Ross is out.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 9:12 PM EDT reply actions  

That's what you get
for being "aggressive on the basepaths" with your goddamn catcher.
"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on May 24, 2007 9:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

double play
The double play may have made Bacsik loosen up a little to throw that pitch.  And I would guess Gonzalez would have done something worse if he were under any pressure at all.

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

I know, I know
the course of everything changes after one action, but... damn, this is the kind of crap we always run into.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 9:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

Sorry
Those are the type of comments I start to write and then delete because I have a brief sober moment and realize I'm not Tim McCarver.  

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

and
I didn't have my sober moment this time.  

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:21 PM EDT up reply actions  

No problem, I usually
think along the same lines...
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 9:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

GONZO!
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder.

by satyanaas on May 24, 2007 9:13 PM EDT reply actions  

Alex
Something's up.  Alex made contact!

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:13 PM EDT reply actions  

Seabass!!!
Now that Ross play looks even dumber.

Two runs is still short of an "eighth inning" of runs (approximately four).

"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 24, 2007 9:14 PM EDT reply actions  

Let's just get it done this inning
And get a save situation. Save the drama for another day.
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder.

by satyanaas on May 24, 2007 9:15 PM EDT reply actions  

My sanity commands that
we score at least one more run.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 9:17 PM EDT reply actions  

9th
Does anyone feel that Dunn owes us in the bottom of the ninth?

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:20 PM EDT reply actions  

Here we go...
Majewski time.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 9:24 PM EDT reply actions  

Hooray!
Here comes the Majestic!

by teb7 on May 24, 2007 9:24 PM EDT reply actions  

No good can come of this.
I'm certain of that.
"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on May 24, 2007 9:26 PM EDT reply actions  

Majewski
Didn't someone say last night that he cut his mullet?  Did it grow back already?

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:26 PM EDT reply actions  

sig
You should build your signature with ridiculous names everytime the Reds drop a game to someone ridiculous.  For instance, after tonight, your sig should be Simontacchi.  Bacsik.  

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:30 PM EDT up reply actions  

Whap !!
Nobody listens to Andrew

by nlt-andrew68 on May 24, 2007 9:27 PM EDT reply actions  

Thom and Chris
Are hyping Majewski way too much right now.  He's going to melt down.

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:27 PM EDT reply actions  

How about in the future we ask
"Are you injured?" or "Have you had any treatments on your arm lately?"

Act according to the answer if all else is well. If it comes back later that they were lying, bust out some documentation. Then you have leverage. Just sayin'

Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 9:30 PM EDT reply actions  

But of course, poking the player
with a stick is probably the better option.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 9:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

Cmon...
Get an out, McJeffsky!

"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 24, 2007 9:31 PM EDT reply actions  

Alright
We need a baserunner and a Donkey bomb. Not asking too much, fellas.

by teb7 on May 24, 2007 9:32 PM EDT reply actions  

Nice job Majewski....
now we need some runs !!!
Nobody listens to Andrew

by nlt-andrew68 on May 24, 2007 9:32 PM EDT reply actions  

Nice AB
Phillips showed some great discipline there.

by teb7 on May 24, 2007 9:36 PM EDT reply actions  

Oh my God.
What the hell?
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 9:37 PM EDT reply actions  

What happened?
"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 24, 2007 9:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

Conine bunted at the first pitch
popped it up to the first baseman.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 9:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

At least it wasn't
A double play.
"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 24, 2007 9:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

O my God
Conine?  What the hell are you doing?  

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:37 PM EDT reply actions  

That's a professional AB
right there.  All kinds of veteran presence.
"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on May 24, 2007 9:37 PM EDT reply actions  

Conine
That looks prety bad.  Or maybe he knows Adam is hitting one out here.

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:38 PM EDT reply actions  

come on dunner
give me something to be excited about...
"Swing away, Bronson." -- sayeth Chris Welsh.

by boobs on May 24, 2007 9:38 PM EDT reply actions  

uh, wow
That was execrable.

by teb7 on May 24, 2007 9:38 PM EDT reply actions  

Dunn
Yeah, he misses a lot of pitches.  But I swear umpires think Adam has a strike zone the size of Wyoming.

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:39 PM EDT reply actions  

At least he didn't strike out.
"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on May 24, 2007 9:40 PM EDT reply actions  

my friend at work goes
"at least you guys will get a good draft pick."

he's right!

"Swing away, Bronson." -- sayeth Chris Welsh.

by boobs on May 24, 2007 9:40 PM EDT reply actions  

And we'll use it to
draft an outfielder from Texas. Yay.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 9:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

Go Pirates!
Sweep the Reds this weekend!

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 9:40 PM EDT reply actions  

That was not a donkey bomb
I think we're gonna have to downgrade the Reds to Threat Level: Midnight

by teb7 on May 24, 2007 9:40 PM EDT reply actions  

Not even.
I think we are going to have to go back to pre-9/11 and say that the Reds are a purely law-enforcement problem.
"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 24, 2007 9:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

Empty net
Come on, someone make a Bengals joke!

by teb7 on May 24, 2007 9:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

It's official
We're the worst team in baseball.

"Let us not be downhearted. One total catastrophy like this is just the beginning." - John Cleese, Life of Brian

Where have you gone, Johnny Vander Meer?

by Joe Public on May 24, 2007 9:41 PM EDT reply actions  

bull shit
I hate this team
We're buying the Reds to win. Anything else is unacceptable. -Bob Castellini

by mattg on May 24, 2007 9:42 PM EDT reply actions  

Fire Narron
Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron Fire Narron
"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 24, 2007 9:42 PM EDT reply actions  

I could not have said it better myself
And while I continue to beat my head with       a 2 X 6 let's fire Thom while we are at it.
It annoying and frustrating enough to watch your team become the worst team in baseball and to also have those embarrassing cheerleaders and the most infantile of mascots - do we also have to have Thom?

Coach Narron good-bye, good-luck - so fuckin' long dude.

"Ooo Ooo That smell... can't ya smell that smell?"

by Madville on May 24, 2007 9:50 PM EDT up reply actions  

Anybody else..
..feeling suicide-y?

There's room for eight in my two car garage.

ALAN SUICIDE WATCH: The Reds must win three against the Pirates or fire Narron. Otherwise I will kill my Red Reporter self in Tuesday night's game thread.

by Alan @ Red Reporter on May 24, 2007 9:45 PM EDT reply actions  

I in
can this be done in the 8th inning with His Gascanness on the mound?
"Ooo Ooo That smell... can't ya smell that smell?"

by Madville on May 24, 2007 9:52 PM EDT up reply actions  

Not sure exactly when on Tuesday night.
To tell you the truth I was planning to be pale and stiffening by the eighth.
ALAN SUICIDE WATCH: The Reds must win three against the Pirates or fire Narron. Otherwise I will kill my Red Reporter self in Tuesday night's game thread.

by Alan @ Red Reporter on May 24, 2007 9:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

warning: DO NOT Google"necrophilia"
ALAN SUICIDE WATCH: The Reds must win three against the Pirates or fire Narron. Otherwise I will kill my Red Reporter self in Tuesday night's game thread.

by Alan @ Red Reporter on May 24, 2007 11:51 PM EDT up reply actions  

Not feeling suicide-y yet...
I'll give it a few more weeks. After that I'll do some reevaluting and see what I have to live for.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 9:56 PM EDT up reply actions  

I know.
You wanna see Junior in the All-Star Game one last time.

Memories,
Light the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? Could we?
Mem'ries, may be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember...
The way we were...
The way we were...

ALAN SUICIDE WATCH: The Reds must win three against the Pirates or fire Narron. Otherwise I will kill my Red Reporter self in Tuesday night's game thread.

by Alan @ Red Reporter on May 24, 2007 10:02 PM EDT up reply actions  

i just heard a song on the radio
that reminded me of the way we were.

What was it?

The way we were.

"Swing away, Bronson." -- sayeth Chris Welsh.

by boobs on May 24, 2007 10:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

Oh..
..I'm picking out a thermos for you
not an ordinary thermos for you
but the extra best thermos you can buy
with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in

I'm picking out a thermos for you
and maybe a barometer too
and what else can I buy
so on me you'll rely
a rear end thermometer too

ALAN SUICIDE WATCH: The Reds must win three against the Pirates or fire Narron. Otherwise I will kill my Red Reporter self in Tuesday night's game thread.

by Alan @ Red Reporter on May 24, 2007 11:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

The new phonebook's here!
Page 73 - Narron, Jerry A.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 11:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

Oh wow!
Hey Johnny, did you guys know that we're in a National League?
ALAN SUICIDE WATCH: The Reds must win three against the Pirates or fire Narron. Otherwise I will kill my Red Reporter self in Tuesday night's game thread.

by Alan @ Red Reporter on May 24, 2007 11:17 PM EDT up reply actions  

And they're KEEPING TRACK of our games?!?!
ALAN SUICIDE WATCH: The Reds must win three against the Pirates or fire Narron. Otherwise I will kill my Red Reporter self in Tuesday night's game thread.

by Alan @ Red Reporter on May 24, 2007 11:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

I got it! Just send a police car over
... Mr. Krivsky's sweater! I got the guy who stole it!

"Swing away, Bronson." -- sayeth Chris Welsh.

by boobs on May 24, 2007 11:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

Good Ol' Lifesaver
Well, what is it, boy? Are you lost?

Do you want to play? Is it trouble? Trouble?

Is it an accident? A drowning? A fire?

Fire!

We've got to warn everybody!

I've heard about dogs like you.
You're going to be famous!

You're going to get your picture taken,
and they'll put it in the paper!

This is exciting!

You saved my life!
Come on, let's warn everybody!

Fire! It's a fire! Fire! There's a fire!

Everybody! Up! Wake up! It's a fire!

It's a fire!
This dog, he's saving everybody's life!

He's unbelievable! He's some dog!
He's a lifesaver!

That's what I'll call him, too!
OI' Lifesaver! That will be your name!

Folks! False alarm. There's no fire.

ALAN SUICIDE WATCH: The Reds must win three against the Pirates or fire Narron. Otherwise I will kill my Red Reporter self in Tuesday night's game thread.

by Alan @ Red Reporter on May 24, 2007 11:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

dont call that dog lifesaver
"Swing away, Bronson." -- sayeth Chris Welsh.

by boobs on May 24, 2007 11:43 PM EDT up reply actions  

Dear Wayne,
In Mandarin Chinese, the word for "crisis" is the same as the word for "opportunity."

"Yes!  'Crisitunity!'"

by Brendanukkah on May 24, 2007 9:59 PM EDT reply actions  

Dear Wayne,
In Mandarin Chinese, the word for "F___ing Idiot" is the same as the word for "Manager."

Fire Narron!!!!

"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 24, 2007 10:03 PM EDT up reply actions  

Dear Wayne,
you suck...
Nobody listens to Andrew

by nlt-andrew68 on May 24, 2007 10:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

Dear Bob,
You bought the Reds to win?

IT'S NOT WORKING!!!!!!

Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 10:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

The Tibetian word meaning 'to win'
Noh - Nahron*

* later absorbed by the Chinese Quietest Movement as "Noh Ticky to Noh Play-offy' , eventually finding its way to Japan in the Zen koan - "What is the sound of Noh Narron Managing?" to which the Student replied "Fish Fart". and attained enlightenment.

"Ooo Ooo That smell... can't ya smell that smell?"

by Madville on May 24, 2007 10:18 PM EDT reply actions  

Another fun fact...
Narron's middle name is Austin.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 10:22 PM EDT reply actions  

Sure am glad we brought EdE up from AAA...
He adds so much to this lousy team......with all those good young hitters that can also CATCH....and they bring him back again....and he does nothing, as usual.
EdE belongs in AA ball to learn how to play defense. Period.

by Sloppygolf on May 24, 2007 10:34 PM EDT reply actions  

Yeah.
Edwin is the problem. It's not Stanton or Lohse or Conine lately.

Jesus.

Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 10:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

who is this guy ??

E^3 is doing just fine.

and we need his right handed bat.

Nobody listens to Andrew

by nlt-andrew68 on May 24, 2007 11:31 PM EDT up reply actions  

SloppyGolf?
That's what Dunn plays when he should be taking batting practice! :-)
You have mastered Moon Master, you are the Moon Master!

by chandrathan on May 24, 2007 11:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

You must be on drugs....need a rh bat?
EdE makes errors all over the place and his right handed bat does nothing. He hesitates every time a breaking ball is thrown.
Herr on the other hand, is a right handed bat, plays third, hit another homer and game winning single last night, and is batting .311, and he hustles every play.
EdE belongs in AA ball to learn how to play defense. Period.

by Sloppygolf on May 25, 2007 7:50 AM EDT up reply actions  

edwin
was batting .413 in louisville before we called him back up. denorfia and hopper led the international league in BA last season at something like .360. .311 in the minors aint so great.
"Swing away, Bronson." -- sayeth Chris Welsh.

by boobs on May 25, 2007 11:48 AM EDT up reply actions  

311?
You have mastered Moon Master, you are the Moon Master!

by chandrathan on May 25, 2007 12:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

Thank you, boobs
I saw that this morning and debated between being late for work and answering, or being on time and letting someone else respond. Being on time won out, obviously.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 25, 2007 7:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

another shin-kicker...
one of the usual suspects ??
Nobody listens to Andrew

by nlt-andrew68 on May 25, 2007 2:20 PM EDT up reply actions  

Hustle
You know who else hustles every day?  Juan Fucking Castro.  Give that man a multi-year deal!

by Brian B on May 26, 2007 2:23 AM EDT up reply actions  

I love lamp!
"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 24, 2007 10:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

On the bright side...
Majewski did okay.  And so did Salmon.


All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named "Bubba"?

by BubbaFan on May 24, 2007 10:37 PM EDT reply actions  

i agree
"Swing away, Bronson." -- sayeth Chris Welsh.

by boobs on May 24, 2007 10:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

While I was looking up Edwin's stats over
his last 10 games before tonight (6 runs, 9 RBI - 6 runs, 8 RBI for Phillips for comparison) I discovered that his middle name (yes, I'm on a fact-finding kick tonight) is Elpidio.

He's not just EE, he's EEE!

E cubed.

Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 10:53 PM EDT reply actions  

That would explain
His propensity for errors!

(Low blow)

by teb7 on May 24, 2007 10:56 PM EDT up reply actions  

I laughed! ;)
Hey, I'll admit that the man's defense is subpar but to say he adds nothing to the team is just silly. If I thought he was going to hit .220 all season, I'd be first in line saying that he's got no business on this team right now. The fact, however, is that he's gonna hit, and I think his defense will improve.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 24, 2007 11:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

Sermonizing to the singers
I'm totally with you. I've seen him make some great plays, so I think he's got it in him to be a plus defender, or at least an average one. And there's no question he'll hit, I'm just fearful he won't be on the Reds when he starts. If we trade him, I'll probably be just as pissed as I am now about Kearns/Lopez (admittedly, I was more bemused/naive than pissed when The Trade went down).

by teb7 on May 24, 2007 11:03 PM EDT up reply actions  

No way, no how.
He is not a very good third baseman. And we have so many in AAA that could help. It is a waste of time.
EdE belongs in AA ball to learn how to play defense. Period.

by Sloppygolf on May 26, 2007 9:12 AM EDT up reply actions  

Again, that's your opinion.
Mine is different. End of story.
Simontacchi.

by Ash on May 26, 2007 10:29 AM EDT up reply actions  

Phils-Marlins
Bourn nailed at the plate coming in as the tying run.  He tried to score from first on a double to right.  Olivo took the throw and there was a chippy elbow thrown by Bourn trying to dislodge the ball.

On the next pitch, single up the middle scores the run from second as the throw is cut off.  Tie game.  

Marlins broadcasts have one of the most ridiculous commercials of all time.  "When you need a car . . . truck or van . . . who you gonna call? . . . MA-ROONE!"  

by Brian B on May 24, 2007 10:58 PM EDT reply actions  

I just wished that Narron would have a meltdown.
"Barry Larkin is not walking through that door, fans. Jose Rijo is not walking through that door, and Eric Davis is not walking through that door. And if you expect them to walk through that door, they're going to be gray and old. What we are is young, exciting, hard-working (at least in Louisville), and we're going to improve. People don't realize that, and as soon as they realize those three guys are not coming through that door, the better this town will be for all of us because there are young guys in that clubhouse playing their asses off. I wish we had as much money as the Yankees. I wish we could buy the world. We can't; the only thing we can do is work hard, and all the negativity that's in this town sucks. I've been around when Danny Graves was booed. I've been around when Ken Griffey Jr. was booed. And it stinks. It makes the greatest town, greatest city in the world, lousy. The only thing that will turn this around is being upbeat and positive like we are in that clubhouse... and if you think I'm going to succumb to negativity, you're wrong. You've got the wrong guy leading this team."

Of course my inspiration for this was Rick Pitino's meltdown in Boston.

by bigjas on May 25, 2007 12:43 AM EDT reply actions  

sure glad you cleared that up
that crowd was about to buy some amway products.
"Swing away, Bronson." -- sayeth Chris Welsh.

by boobs on May 25, 2007 12:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

somthign tells me Narron lacks
that kinda of charisma.  

If we had Larry Bowa kicking and screaming, would we think that he is too angry, and the players have shut down?  Let's face it, Narron isn't the best manager, but he isn't mislocating Coffey's fastballs, he isn't hanging Bronson's curvballs, he isn't why Harang has been so inconistant this season, he isn't why the Red's are unable to buy a hit with runners on base.  

I am not saying that he shouldn't be fired, I am just not really sure if it will matter.

by justin0070000 on May 25, 2007 1:08 AM EDT up reply actions  

Speaking of meltdowns...
I find myself wishing for a Jim Mora moment right now.
"That which is repeated will happen a third time."

by Paul Householder on May 25, 2007 9:01 AM EDT up reply actions  

The perfect Mora meltdown for our situation...
"What's that? Playoffs? Don't talk about-- playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs? I just hope we can win a game!"

But I still think his "Diddley Poo" meltdown was the best.

"Well, what happened was, that second game, we got our ass kicked. In the second half, we just got our ass totally kicked. We couldn't do diddley poo offensively, we couldn't make a first down, we couldn't run the ball, we didn't try to run the ball, we couldn't complete a pass - we sucked. The second half, we sucked. We couldn't stop the run. Every time they got the ball, they went down and got points. We got our ass totally kicked in the second half - that's what it boiled down to. It was a horseshit performance in the second half. Horseshit. I'm totally embarrassed and totally ashamed. Coaching did a horrible job. The players did a horrible job. We got our ass kicked in that second half. It sucked. It stunk."

by bigjas on May 25, 2007 12:25 PM EDT up reply actions  

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