Eyewitness report 9/23

*Reds got rained out in the second, double header today

*Slyde spent the entire game evaluating row coolness and switching row loyalties. JD gave him his DVDs at the game, Slyde promplty made a call on his cell, and told the person on the other end, "I have the items". Don't know what that was, but I think he may be in trouble over a gambling debt. Fantasy Leagues, like crack, some people just don't know when they're in over their utility belt.

*Caleb has a kick-ass hat from Billings, MT. A cub fan asked him to take it off, Caleb said no, cub fan said something back, Caleb ended up punching the guy right in the face man, it was great!

*sukr kept trying to explain that it's not a BMX, it's a Schwinn Predator, and that he was "working" on his laptop. Who brings a laptop to a game?

*Officer Dibble is a trooper. No, not a Storm Trooper, Ash. Despite feeling like crap, he still had a 45 mph fastball at the HOF, just like the rest of us.

*Red Hot Mama got kicked out of the HOF trying to replace a cased Bench jersey with a RHM t-shirt. Had Officer Dibble not said a thing, they would have been none the wiser. Call her hotline, I believe she could use some bail moeny.

*ohiobobcat is the worst wing-man ever. sukr's conversation with the female cub fans yielded no prospects for the evening, due in large part to his laughter at the laptop guy references. And the hits just kept on comin'.

*Ash helped Caleb in the cub fan beating. She also tried to pass counterfiet Bonus Points at one point, tsk,tsk,tsk. She and Red Menace, at the prodding of fellow reporters, sang a duet of Fiddler on the Roof's "Do you love me" at the Inn Between.

*Red Mence received a call shortly after Slyde got his DVDs, during which he said, "yeah.....I see....well, you've only got four hours left......No....ok, how do you want to get them to me?" I don't understand it all, but I'm thinking Menace may be a Fantasy Shark. Hustling stat addicts is like taking candy from a baby.

*snohio seems to be in with Slyde on taking over Red Reporter. More on this in coming weeks as the political tide here at Red Reporter changes.

There's room for more RR Nation come Redsfest.  The mental images you might conjur about hardcore DD fans.....falsehoods. A perfectly normal bunch that wished more would have joined.

.....and then, the guy gave us 20 dollars!!!!

SB Nation Featured Video
Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Red Reporter

You must be a member of Red Reporter to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Red Reporter. You should read them.

Join Red Reporter

You must be a member of Red Reporter to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Red Reporter. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.