As many of you know, that beautiful human being Kenny Rodgers was approached by the umpires after the first inning of Sunday's game because he was carrying a certain substance on his pitching hand.  The umps simply asked Rodgers to wipe the substance from his hand, and MLB has since reported that it was a "clump of dirt," of which Rodgers wasn't aware.

It should be noted, of course, that Rodgers went on to pitch seven shutout frames after the substance was wiped.  Using this as a reason, MLB has downplayed the whole event (giving it, I might add, the same treatment they give to all scandals, eg steroids).

Here's why I think Rodgers is full of crap:

The substance is rather glossy in this photo; I have never known infield dirt, or any other dirt, to be glossy like this.  Rather, I would expect a "clump of dirt" to be matte.

Pitchers are notoriously meticulous in protecting and caring for their pitching arms and hands off the field, and I find it rather unlikely that such a sizeable amount of goo on his pitching hand would go unnoticed.

A less-valid reason, simply because of the mouth which uttered it, is that LaRussa reported that several of his batters told him the ball was moving strangely prior to the umpires inspecting Rodgers's hand.

The final reason is that, from all accounts I've received, Kenny Rodgers is a wretched human being.